Archive of Our Own

They're synced up. Because of course they are. It's simply a product of their friendship. 

They've slowly tuned into each other's wavelengths, understanding one another in a way other people can't. It's a side effect of having known each other so long.

So of course when Jisung has an epiphany 20 minutes before he's about to walk down the aisle that he doesn't want to get married to his fiancé, he goes to his favorite diner in a getaway car that Felix so generously provided.

He looked Jisung in the eye and said, “I love you Jisung, you're one of my best friends and I'm not about to watch you marry the biggest asshole I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. I will however be willing to wait in my car if you need an out. Because I know you. Sometimes more than you know yourself. And I know that it'll take until the last minute for your hamster little brain to realize what you've done. I don't want to be here, but for you my engine is always running.”

And Jisung teared up a bit and hugged him, and said, “Thank you.” Because Jisung knows that Felix is usually right, but he was in denial.

After they did their first looks, his fiancé said, “Your makeup is smudged.” Not, “you look gorgeous” or “you're beautiful.” He just pointed out one more flaw for Jisung to fix. And so Jisung had an epiphany.

This entire time, he's been living in fear of what will happen when Soohyun comes home. How hard will he hit him? What could Jisung have done wrong this time? Is what he's wearing okay? 

Felix has offered him an escape, and Jisung realizes he can just take it. He could run away. And so he does.

Running a hand through his black hair, crunchy with hairspray, throwing the clip-on veil in his hair onto the asphalt of the parking lot outside of the venue. He runs. He runs and uncontrollable giggles bubble from his smile.

He's giggling when he reaches Felix's car too. Right where Felix said it would be parked, engine running, backed into the spot so they can just drive.

“You were right. God, you were right.” Jisung smiles. Felix is smiling too, wasting no time immediately driving off.

“I'm glad you realized, Jisung. Now, where are we going.” Felix sounds ready, like he's been waiting for his moment to be a getaway driver his whole life. He probably has.

“I'm hungry. Let's go to the diner.” Jisung says, as if it's a normal conversation and not the two of them fleeing Jisung's wedding.

“Yesss!! I need fried pickles right now. But before we do that, I believe there's one more thing you need to do?” Felix says, looking away from the road just long enough to pointedly glance at Jisung's phone.

Jisung opens his phone, pulling up his contacts. The ringer sounds and it makes every other noise in the car seem silent.

Soohyun immediately begins without waiting for Jisung. “Jisung, where the fuck are you!?” Jisung flinches when he hears the harshness of the other's voice from the other line.

“I'm not marrying you, asshole. Call off the wedding, get your money back. I'm not coming back.” Jisung says, more relaxed than he's been in years.

“Ji-” Jisung hears the beginning of his name and hangs up, giggling afterwards. He blocks him and every other person that Soohyun could possibly get to call him, turning his location off as well.

He and Felix are giggling, they're laughing and bubbling with fucking joy that Jisung ran away.

After a couple minutes of driving they eventually end up at the diner. An old, out of date blue LED logo hangs above the entrance looking three seconds away from flickering out.

They walk in and are met with cool air conditioning. Turns out, the middle of June is not the best time to get married. It's hot and the sun burns, at least it did during the photo shoots outside. Now it feels refreshing, like his skin is defrosting.

Right as the hostess walks up and is about to seat the two of them, a too familiar voice sounds from their right.

“Han Jisung, as I live and breathe!” Minho says, also in his wedding attire.

“Minho!!” Jisung says, jumping into his best friend's arms. He pulls away to look at him, taking in his features. “No fucking way!”

“Get cold feet, Sungie?” Minho jokes, as if he too didn't just obviously come from his alter.

“Seems like I'm not the only one.” Jisung scoffs.

The hostess seems surprised by the whole situation. “He'll be with us if that's possible, thanks.”

Us? Jisung thinks. Minho leads them to his table where none other than Kim Seungmin is sitting.

“Minnie?” Felix questions, Seungmin looking equally surprised.

“Lix? You get put on getaway driver too?” He asks. Felix laughs, sitting down in the booth after Jisung. “I made an offer. Seems like you were put on the spot.”

“So tell me,” Jisung asks, looking at Minho and Seungmin. “How did it go down for you two?” 

Minho takes a big breath in, preparing himself. “Believe it or not, I accidentally walked into the bride's room and caught her making out with her maid of honor. I walked out and told the priest to call it off.”

“Seungmin, even though I'm pretty sure he resents me, was in his car about to arrive when I frantically asked him to take me here.” Minho smiles.

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you might think it was a sweet gesture and all but when someone rattles your door handle until you unlock it and yells at you to drive, you fucking drive.”

All of them laugh. Jisung is still confused about one thing though. “Why don't you seem upset about it?” He asks.

Minho suddenly gets serious, putting his elbows on the table and lacing his fingers together. “Jisung, how many times have we even seen each other in the past three years?”

It hits Jisung like a truck. They've only been able to call and text.

Minho says it for him. “Once. It was my birthday when you came uninvited because you correctly assumed you'd be expected anyways.” He says.

“That was probably the best night I've had since she and I started dating. Because she got so mad that you were there- that she left to stay at her mom's, and you stayed the night. And we talked for hours until we passed out.”

Minho relaxes again. “I think this was just the breaking point for something inevitable. If it happened later it would be a whole lot more paperwork and a whole lot less seeing my best friend.” He finishes.

The waitress brings Minho and Seungmin their drinks that they ordered before Jisung and Felix arrived. She leaves with their orders before getting Jisung and Felix their waters.

“Mine was quite different.” Jisung huffs, incredulous to Minho's dramatic scene.

“How so?” Seungmin asks. 

“Well, for starters, Lixie offered to be my driver beforehand and waited in the parking lot for me because he's an ass and knows me too well. And secondly, my breaking point was when we did our first looks and he criticized my hair instead of saying literally anything nice.” 

“Damn. Well, now that we're all here, what's the plan?” Seungmin asks.

“I hear Chan and Changbin left our rooms vacant in the cabin?” Minho proposes. That's something Jisung has always loved about their friend group. They’re spontaneous and ready to uproot their lives for the sake of one person's safety. 

A pang of guilt hits Jisung hard in the chest. He hasn't seen them in forever, nor has he seen Jeongin. He hasn't been to the cabin in a year, hasn't inhaled fresh air. 

“Yeah. That would be nice.” Jisung says. It's enough to confirm for everyone. 

………

Minho called ahead and Chan and Changbin immediately said yes. The mountains are a good three day trip away from them. Minho called ahead to some hotels as well.

They've been driving for hours. It started raining at some point while they were barreling down the interstate, the only other signs of civilization being other cars and the occasional rest stop.

None of them have clothes to change into, they realize. So once they stop at their hotel and check in, they all cram into Seungmin's car and drive thirty minutes into town to buy a couple of shirts and shorts to last them until they eventually have to face going back to their apartments to gather their shit- Seungmin and Felix not included.

Walmart ends up being the only store open at 11:00pm, but they all collectively agree they aren't cocky rich bastards and can handle wearing cheap clothes. Their wallets definitely aren't complaining.

Back at the hotel, they all share one room. Two queen beds, two comfy chairs, and a TV. Because they're all a bunch of clingy fuckers that haven't been together in three years.

Felix and Seungmin share a bed and Minho and Jisung share one out of respect for their long time friendship. Some weird rule of seniority except it's with the length of the relationship.

Seungmin and Felix are already asleep, tired from being the designated drivers. The lights are off and the buzzing of the ac unit is making Jisung sleepy.

“Minho?” Jisung whispers. Minho hums in response.

“Can you hold me?” A stupid request, probably. They aren't kids anymore. But he hasn’t seen his best friend in a year and he’s a little bit selfish. Still, he's cold, and Minho has always radiated heat. 

Regardless, Minho wraps around him from behind. The warmth is comforting. A steady anchor grounding Jisung to the Earth. Minho has always been that way. Reminding Jisung that he's human. 

He falls asleep like that. Slowly breathing in and out. Human. 

In the morning they all wash up. Jisung scrubs the hairspray out of his hair with the hotel shampoo. He doesn't even like having his hair slicked back. He prefers his natural curls to flow freely.

They arrive downstairs just in time to get breakfast and water Felix with coffee like a plant so he isn't bitching the whole day.

Seungmin complains that he didn't sleep well last night and berates Minho until he gives in and says that he'll drive instead.

They drive all day, occasionally stopping at rest stops to get snacks and use the bathroom. 

They only have one more hotel and another full day of driving until they eventually arrive at the Seo-Bhang residence, more than likely around 11:00 pm at night.

Felix complains that the hotel Minho chose looks like somewhere they'd get murdered. 

The carpet and bedding are outdated all the way back to the 70’s with ugly orange accents everywhere and strange stains on the walls.

Jisung compromises that if Felix isn't able to sleep then he'll drive instead. Felix immediately goes to sleep, fully aware of how Jisung drives.

“Isn't it crazy? It's been almost a year and a half since we've been to their house.” Jisung whispers to Minho, their faces inches from each other.

Their breaths smell like mint from brushing their teeth six minutes prior. Minho is smiling at him. He can't see but Jisung can tell. He's always been able to tell.

“I feel like my prettiest years were spent in that house.” Jisung says, suddenly hit with the realization that they're getting older and he's not getting married.

“You've always been pretty.” Minho says.

“Whatever, Minho. You know my prime has passed.” Jisung insists   

“Who told you that? You're only 26 years old, Sungie.” Minho laughs.

“Soohyun.” Jisung states simply. Soohyun changed his brain chemistry. Made him think his worth was in his body. He was always a disappointment in Soohyun's eyes. He couldn't be the picture of youth forever 

“Well he's wrong. You've never not been beautiful, Jisung.” Minho reassures him.

Maybe Jisung believes him.

Seungmin, after a fifteen minute argument, finally lets Minho drive his car without him in it. They've been in the same arrangement as when they drove away from their weddings.

Seungmin and Minho in the brunette’s car, and Jisung and Felix in the blonde’s. Seungmin and Felix are now in Felix's car, baby blue and round-eyed with a cream cloth interior that Jisung always compared to carpet.

Minho and Jisung are in Seungmin's car. A white sleek car with a black leather interior. A rich thing, he's sure. Jisung always forgets that Seungmin can just afford stuff like this after he partnered in a law firm. 

Once they start back on the interstate- Jisung plays with Minho’s hand that isn't driving, running his thumb over the lines and creases, circling each knuckle.

Minho's hand tightens on the wheel, Jisung can't imagine why.

They've always been close. Several of their past partners were weird about it. They just didn't understand. It's a product of being childhood best friends. They grew up with each other, their minds molded together.

Although sometimes it fucks with his brain a little to think about it. They've always teetered on the line of something more but it never unfurled. Jisung figured it would have ruined their friendship.

“Minho, why did we never date? It seems like there were so many times where it would have made sense.” Jisung asks.

“I think… I think we're just horrible at timing. By the time I was single again, you were ready to settle down with Soohyun, then a couple months later I found Haeeun and it died down from there.” Minho responds, something hesitant in his voice that Jisung doesn’t recognize.

“I always thought it was because it would ruin our friendship.” Jisung says.

Minho looks over quickly, a quiet questioning face. “Do you think anything could really ruin our friendship, Jisung?” He inquires.

It hits Jisung like a punch to the gut. He doesn't think anything could get between them. 

“No. I don't think anything could.” 

It's 12:48 am when Minho shakes Jisung awake. It's dark, the outside is colder because of the ocean breeze. The air is salty, he breaths clearer. 

Felix's car rolls in behind them, tires crunching on gravel, headlights shining on them as they get out of the car. 

The door opens to the cabin a ways away and Jisung can see Changbin standing in the doorway. He expected them to be asleep when they arrived since they all have a copy of the key to get in.

But no, Changbin stands in the doorway and Jisung immediately bolts after him. He almost trips going up the stairs to the porch but eventually gets there, practically slamming into Changbin.

Jisung lets out a shaky breath, he didn't realize he was crying. He's probably suffocating Changbin with how tight he's squeezing him but he doesn't care. 

Changbin is hugging him just as hard. Jisung squeezes his eyes shut, more tears rolling down his face, digging his face into Changbin's shoulder. He smells like home. God it's been so long since he's been home.

Changbin rubs his back. “I know Sungie. It's okay. You're back. Everyone is here.” 

Jisung nods his head, pulling away so the other's can hug as well. He walks into the house. It's an open kitchen to the right and the living room to the left, big brown leather couches facing the TV mounted above the red brick fireplace.

In the back of the living room is the staircase up to all of the bedrooms, and the glass door behind the kitchen and past the dining room leads to the back porch.

The only bedroom that's downstairs is Changbin and Chan's. The owners of the house having the master bedroom.

Everyone piles in a little later after saying their hello's to Changbin. 

“Is all of our stuff still here?” Seungmin asks. 

“Of course! Did you really think we'd move it? We knew you'd come back sometime or later.” Changbin laughs.

“Where's Chan?” Jisung asks, the absence of the other fatherly presence very clear. He hasn't been picked up by anyone yet.

“We told Lily that you guys would be arriving sometime tonight and so she's been expecting you like Santa Clause. Chan is in her room right now making sure she stays asleep.” Jisung almost gushes over with cuteness for the dad.

Lily was two the last time they saw her and probably doesn't remember all of her uncles. She's three now and entering her toddler phase.

A high pitched flurry of laughter comes from upstairs and a “Lily, no!” From Chan. The cutest giggling little girl is running down the stairs, occasionally collapsing and getting up again. 

Her brown bob cut is braided into two braids and she holds a little koala stuffed animal. She runs over and clings to Jisung's leg in an attempt to hug him.

Jisung picks her up and spins her around, more giggles bubbling out. “Lily!!! It's far past your bedtime young lady!” Jisung smiles.

“Hehehe noooo.” Lily smiles down at Jisung from where he has her light body lifted in the air. Her big bug eyes are smiling. 

To think Chan can jizz in a cup and out comes the cutest little girl ever.

Chan comes down the stairs afterwards, tired and defeated. His hair has grown long. It's curly and a lot thicker than Jisungs. Jisungs hair is more wavy than curly but Chan’s form into beautiful raven ringlets down to his shoulders.

Chan's long curly hair is braided into matching braids with Lily, stray curls sticking out in places, tied at the end with the same hot pink rubber bands as Lily’s.

He slips into Changbin's side. “It's okay babe, you tried.” Changbin comforts him.

Jisung can't remember when Chan and Changbin became Chan and Changbin.

It always seemed like it was inevitable. 

They aren't just some high-school sweethearts that got married and had a kid. Their relationship goes much deeper than that. They've known each other since Chan moved right next door when they were eight and six.

They've been attached at the hip ever since. Everyone knew what they were. Jisung thinks they did too. They just danced around the subject rather than confronting their feelings.

Chan deflates, melting into his husband's side when he's comforted. “She's just so… awake.” Chan fake sobs.

Jisung snorts and suddenly Chan fully wakes up and realizes all of them are right there. “Jisung!!” Chan exclaims.

Jisung drops Lily in favor of hugging Chan, the little girl immediately running to cling to Felix instead.

“We missed you.” Chan says. Jisung might start crying again. Too late, he already is. He lifts Jisung off the ground a bit with the force of the hug. Jisung just tries his best to soak it all up.

He's crying because he knows they didn't just miss his presence. Jisung became someone else with Soohyun, an empty shell of a person

He's back. He's back to himself, to his friends, his family, home. Chan pulls away and wipes away a tear that has fallen down Jisung's face, going to the other's as well.

Felix doesn't bother putting Lily down, he and Chan making a big deal of squishing her between them in a “Lily sandwich”.

After she's done squealing in delight, she lets out a big yawn, stretching her arms above her head just like Chan does.

“You finally ready for bed, kiddo?” Chan asks her, taking her from Felix. She nods her sleepy head, wrapping her arms around her dad's neck and falling asleep on his shoulder.

They all trial behind Chan as he carries her up to her bedroom. Seungmin's room is the first when you go up the stairs, Felix's the second, Lily the third.

Minho and Jisung share a room tucked away at the end of the hall after the bathroom. There's another bathroom attached to Chan and Changbins.

Jisung and Minho shared a room when they lived here because they were practically teenagers and didn't care.

Felix was actually a teenager since he was kicked out at seventeen for getting caught by his parents kissing his boyfriend his sophomore year.

This cabin was originally Chan's parents and they allowed Felix to stay with them. Eventually they retired and moved to a house by the beach and left the cabin to Chan.

Chan carries Lily into her room, gently setting her down on her strawberry shortcake sheets, leaving Minho and Jisung to continue on to their room.

Jisung plops down on his stomach on the queen sized bed, spreading his limbs out. “Ugh, I missed this bed. I could never sleep next to Soohyun.” Jisung says, muffled by his mouth being half in the sheets.

“I can't believe this!” Minho exclaims. Jisung can hear the drawers being opened. “Like- half of our clothes are still here! We don't have to go shopping!” 

Jisung groans, petulant. “Aww, I kinda wanted to go shopping. I do miss all of my old clothes though. Soohyun made me leave most of them behind because he didn't like them.” He gets up, going to check his own drawers.

“I'm gonna brush my teeth real quick and go to bed, I suggest getting some comfier clothes on.” Minho says, leaving the room to use the bathroom one door over.

Jisung looks through his clothes. All of his hoodies are here. He slips into the first one he sees and changes into a pair of boxers. 

Minho comes back a couple minutes later. He starts going through his own clothes to find something for bed.

Jisung bounces off the bed, poking at Minho's side, doing a little dance with his knees. “C'mon hyung, get naked!” He teases. Minho's ears get red even though he smiles and rolls his eyes.

Minho takes off the shirt he has on. Jisung's breath gets caught in his throat for a second. Minho's arms and chest have bulked up and his back is a plane of muscle. His tummy is relaxed and soft but the abs still tease under the skin.

He doesn't realize Minho saw him until he slowly closes Jisung's jaw by gently pressing his chin up. “Should I put the hoodie on or keep it off so you can keep ogling?” He teases.

Jisung's neck and face heat up in a wholly unreasonable way before he directs his attention elsewhere.

 The hoodie Minho slips on is one that Jisung used to steal all the time. It's practically his by now. Seeing it on Minho now feels weird. Soohyun made him leave it behind because he thought Jisung and Minho had a thing together.

Jisung checks his phone. It's 1:09 am now and his eyes are heavy. For the first time in a year, he feels like he's finally sleeping in his own bed, not Soohyun's.

Minho crawls into bed after Jisung once he turns the light off. Jisung can tell Minho immediately falls asleep. His breathing slows down, he becomes warmer. 

After a couple minutes his eyes start to adjust to the dark. He and Minho are facing each other. 

Minho looks younger when he sleeps. His top lip puckers out from his cheek being smushed against where his hand is on the pillow. His eyebrows aren't as tense. He worries so much. Minho has always been such a worrier. Jisung likes him like this. Relaxed.

Minho looks younger when he sleeps. The lines of his face soften. It’s crazy… how they’ve gotten older together. Minho is still gorgeous as always.

He’s as beautiful as he was at fifteen. 

Lily wakes them up, jumping on the bed and squeezing in between them, forcing Minho off of Jisung’s back.

She’s in a pink justice bathing suit with a yellow sundress coverup. Jisung can smell sunscreen on her face. “Lake day! Lake day!”

Changbin comes in wearing an old shirt and baby pink swim shorts, likely Lily’s choice. “C’mon Lily. Let them get ready on their own.” Lily scurries to her dad and grabs the hand he’s offered to guide her out of the room

He turns to them before he shuts the door. “Be ready in twenty minutes, we’re meeting Jeongin and his boyfriend at their hotel and then carpooling in the van to the lake.

Jeongin is Minho’s brother. Same mom, different dads. It never really affected them much, Jisung thinks. Jeongin slithered into the group by way of younger sibling privilege. He became the baby of the group. They all took care of him in some way.

They brush their teeth and take showers before rummaging through their stuff to find swim shorts and cover-ups so they aren’t shirtless when they stop at Dairy Queen on the way home.

When Jisung and Minho arrive downstairs, Chan is cutting fruit and filling up the cooler with drinks and snacks, Changbin is helping Lily decide which Barbie to take, and Seungmin is beet red applying sunscreen to Felix’s back.

Jisung sits down at the bar length counter and Chan feeds him a couple cubes of watermelon. Minho sits down next to Lily and they finally decide that the mermaid Barbie is the best option.

“So who is this boyfriend of Innie’s I’m hearing of?” Jisung questions.

“We actually don’t know too much about him yet. This is our first time meeting him too. Apparently he’s a photographer and asked Jeongin to model for him. Over time they got closer, and…” Chan throws a rind away, popping a cube of watermelon in his mouth before continuing. “Here we are.” Chan smiles.

He’s trying to act normal but Jisung can tell Chan is jumping out of his skin at the thought of meeting someone new. 

“Do you know his name at least?” Jisung asks.

“Hyunjin.” Chan says, fighting back an even wider smile than the one he’s already showing. His dimples are showing.

Chan puts the lid on the watermelon container and places it in the cooler. “Alright, let’s head out, Innie and Hyunjin are probably waiting for us. Babe, make sure Lily has her sun hat, I don’t want her getting sun poisoning.”

Changbin grabs it off of the couch. “Oh Channie, you worry.” Chan nods his head. “Yes. Yes I do. Because I actually care for the safety of our daughter.” Changbin laughs and shakes his head.

Chan's van is an eight-seater and with Lily and Hyunjin, there’s nine of them. They decide to figure it out when they get there. Changbin suggested holding Lily but Chan is dead set on keeping her in her car seat for understandable reasons.

After about twenty minutes, they pull into the parking lot. Another family is stacking all of their luggage on a cart, one of the moms keeping two little girls from running off while the other woman plays Tetris with suitcases.

Jisung smiles at the one holding back the kids. She smiles back, immediately redirecting her focus to the kids.

Chan texted Jeongin they arrived so they are already waiting in the lobby when they walk in. Jisung can’t stop himself when he sees Jeongin standing there in his navy blue Hawaiian trunks. 

Jisung runs and slams into the boy, Jeongin letting out an “oof” at the impact. “Hi hyung. It’s been a while.”

When Jisung pulls away, next to Jeongin is the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen. His long blonde hair is pushed away from his face by the sunglasses on his head. He looks shy.

“Jisung, I’d like you to meet Hyunjin. My boyfriend.” The man offers a tiny wave and a small “Hi.” Along with a shy smile.

Everyone else catches up behind them and Chan immediately goes for a hug. Hyunjin seems surprised but not displeased. “Thank you for not allowing him to die alone.” Chan says, pulling away.

“Hyung!” Jeongin complains at Chan's embarrassment. 

Minho comes next, grabbing his brother and pinching his back. “Ah!” Jeongin yelps. Minho laughs. 

“Hi yen-ah.” Minhos smiles.

“Hi loser.” Jeongin smiles back.

“I’m jeongin’s brother, nice to meet you.” Minho greets, turning and grinning at the blonde and back at his brother.

Lily latches onto his leg, looking up at him with big doe eyes. “Are you my new uncle Jinnie?” Hyunjin softens at the girl. “Only if your uncle innie marries me.” He smiles.

Lily then gets really serious, looking at Jeongin while still holding onto the blonde's leg. “You have to marry Jinnie. I’ll be the flower girl.”

“Whatever you say, Queen Lily. Your wish is my command.” Jeongin says. Lily raises an eyebrow. “What does command mean?”

“It means something that you have to do because someone else said so.” Lily’s eyes widen. “Ohhh.”

Jeongin gives hugs to everyone else, introducing them all to Hyunjin. “Wait, where's Lix?” Jeongin asks.

“He had to go to the bathroom really quick.” Just as Seungmin says that, he walks around the corner and stops dead in his tracks.

“Felix?” Hyunjin questions. They run to each other and hug and jump like school girls. 

“Do you two… know each other?” Seungmin asks, eyeing down Hyunjin.

“Of course we do! Hyunjin and I did dance lessons together for six years! I haven’t seen him since the seventh grade!” Felix exclaims.

“Damn, you grew up really well.” Felix says. Hyunjin laughs and replies “You too.” Seungmin rolls his eyes and mumbles something under his breath but Jisung isn’t sure anyone else saw but him.

“I love the little moment you two are having but we need to get going.” Changbin says. “Our car only fits eight people so Jisung, you’re gonna have to sit on Minho’s lap.”

“What? Why me!” Jisung questions.

“Because we just met Hyunjin and aren’t going to risk his safety, Chan is the only person that can drive that monster of an automobile and therefore I have automatic shotgun, and nobody else is even willing to do it other than you two. These are the consequences of being best friends in a group.”

Jisung was about to make a counter argument before stopping himself. “I- actually… fair enough.”

In the time of them discussing car arrangements, Lily has run off to play with the other families two daughters. Changbin has to drag her away from them and their game of fairies.

Chan is driving, Changbin is in the passenger seat holding Chan’s free hand, Lily is in her car seat sitting right behind Chan, Hyunjin sits next to her in the middle seat beside Jeongin, Minho and Jisung sit in the back left seat, seungmin sitting in the middle seat next to them and beside Felix.

The car smells like banana boat sunscreen and the windows are down, Lily reaching her tiny hand out to feel the wind.

Minho has always had strong thighs. A product of doing dance for so long. They’re comfy to sit on. Jisung has his hands on the seat in front of him, occasionally playing with Lily by covering her eyes from behind.

Jisung leans forward, attempting to do stick figures with his hands for Lily. His shirt lifts up a bit, exposing his lower back. Minho runs his hand up his back under the shirt, lightly grazing his nails up and down.

A shiver runs down Jisung's spine. He’s always been a sucker for soft touches. Soohyun never treated him with the gentleness that Minho always has.

When Minho tries to pull away, Jisung stops his wrist and guides it back up. It feels nice. He’s not yet ready to lose the feeling just yet.

About five minutes into the hour-long drive Felix realizes he forgot to take Dramamine when he starts feeling nauseous

They stop at a drugstore off of the highway. Chan makes everyone at least try to use the bathroom. He takes Lily into the ladies room to go, loudly pronouncing that he’s with his daughter so as to not off-put the women.

As Chan says, he’d rather go through the extra step of explaining that he has a daughter than risk having his daughter around men he doesn’t know.

They all disperse around the store, looking for snacks and a drink. Jisung doesn’t really know what to get. He’ll probably be fine without one.

“Sung!” Minho calls him. “Wanna halfsies?” He asks, holding up sour gummy worms and chips, shaking them temptingly.

Their halfsies deal. Some dumb rule Jisung made up in the eighth grade saying he’s entitled to half of whatever Minho is eating. Minho never minded. He just passed the chip bag over without question.

God Jisung has missed Minho. When he had to cut contact with him, he didn’t even lose a piece of himself. He lost everything. Now that he’s back, he feels like his stomach is full again. He’s been starving for a year now. 

“Obviously. But I get all the orange-green ones.” Jisung says. Minho laughs. Jisung loves the way he laughs. Albeit, sometimes he sounds like a crazy person, it’s normally very giggly and breathy.

Jisung follows him around like a lost puppy dog afterwards. Looking at the snacks that Minho looks at, trying to think his thoughts, sharing the same space.

Minho ends up finding a pair of sunglasses he likes and buys them, letting them sit on top of his hair.

Eventually they all end up back in the car, crinkles being heard from the entire car from everyone opening their snacks.

“I packed fruit, I don’t know why you’re getting stuff now.” Chan complains as he opens his own bag of barbecue chips.

“We won’t be able to eat those until another hour, Babe.” Changbin says. Chan pouts and pops a chip in his mouth. He still holds Changbin's hand. They’d probably still be holding hands in court for divorce, though Jisung doesn’t think that’ll ever happen.

They finally arrive in the parking lot, gravel crunching under the weight of the car. The land surrounding the lake is scattered with pine trees, pine needles littering the ground. 

The lake itself is connected to a wide river. When they were younger and reckless, they would tube down it and use a map to figure their way back to the car. They did it so often that there are still trees spray painted with arrows leading them down the path.

Chan pops the trunk open, everyone grabs something to help. Even Lily carries her own tiny Barbie beach chair.

They set up in a good clearing. All of their chairs are set up, the cooler in the middle. “Everyone hand me your cover ups so you don’t just throw them on the ground and dirty them.” Chan says.

Jisung is hit with the same astonishment as last night when Minho pulls his shirt over his head. He covers it up better though, taking lingering glances while taking his own off, ensuring that his mouth isn’t hung open and drooling.

Changbin helps Lily into her floaties and they all jump off of the dock into the water, Lily popping back up before the rest of them. 

They all disperse into their own activities. Jeongin and Hyunjin play with Lily and her Barbie, Seungmin and Felix sit on the doc talking while Minho hangs onto the ledge from the water and listens, and Chan and Changbin are sitting in the chairs watching over them all.

Jisung decides to sit. He wants some watermelon. “Can you get the water guns from the car? They’re in the front seat, I forgot to grab them.”

“Sure,” Jisung says. As he’s shutting the door with the water guns in hand, he sees the couple from the hotel getting out of their car.

“Hi! Didn’t think we’d see you again! I bet the girls will be happy to see your… daughter?” One of the women says. Her hair is long and black. She has a distinct freckle under her lip on her chin.

Jisung laughs sheepishly, waving away the assumption. “No no, more like a niece. She’s my friend's daughter.” Jisung explains.

“Ah. Well maybe we can set up next to you guys?” She asks.

“Of course! Let me guide the way.” Jisung says.

“My name is Karina by the way. The one dealing with those kiddos is my wife Minjeong.” Karina says.

“My name is Jisung. I’m sure everyone will introduce themselves when we get there.” Jisung laughs.

When they approach the chairs, Lily is digging through the cooler looking for a capri sun. “Lily!” One of the little girls exclaims.

“Sullyoon, Kyujin-ah!!” Lily exclaims. They run to each other and spin around in a group hug, squealing in excitement.

“Let me show you my uncle Jeongin and his boyfriend Jinnie! They’re really good mermaids.” Lily says, running off to where Hyunjin and Jeongin are waiting.

“You don’t mind if we set up near you, right? I can see by the chairs that you already have plenty.” Minjeong asks.

“No! Not at all! We have snacks as well.” Chan offers. “I’m Lily’s dad, by the way. This is my husband, Changbin.” Chan introduces himself.

“I’m Minjeong, and this beautiful woman is my wife Karina. We’re Sullyoon and Kyujin’s moms.” She says, pulling her wife closer gently by the waist.

They set up, Karina following Chan and Changbin to meet everyone else. Jisung decides to hang back along with Minjeong. “I’ll get in later. I’ve been on child watch all day. I need a break.”

Jisung laughs. His eyes drift to where Minho is. He has Jeongin on his shoulders, wet black hair getting in his eyes, chicken fighting Felix on Seungmin’s shoulders.

His build is insane. It’s not as bulky as Chan and Changbin. It’s the kind of muscle that comes with gradual hard labor rather than bodybuilding. 

Jisung has always thought of Minho to be made out of carefully sculpted marble, chiseled away until the rough edges of rock transform into sharp lines and soft curves. He’s always been sort of beautiful in a way.

“Are you two together?” Minjeong’s question pulls him out of his trance.

“Excuse me?” Jisung says, not fully catching what she said.

“The boy you’ve been staring at like a slab of meat.” She clarifies. “Are you two together?” She repeats.

Jisung wouldn’t say he was staring at him like a slab of meat. Staring at him like he hung the moon would be more accurate. “Uh, no. Hah. We’re best friends.”

She just stares off into the distance for a second, seemingly in her own mind. “Yeah… I guess that’s how most of them start out, huh.” 

“Karina and I were like that. Teetering on the edge of something more, not realizing the cliff we were dancing on was a thousand feet high.” Jisung traces her stare back to the woman she arrived with.

“Maybe it’s different for you but, the way he looked at you in the parking lot, man… It took me back to senior year.”

Jisung squints at her. “He wasn’t looking at me.” Jisung says. At least, he didn’t catch him. He usually does. Minho has the type of eyes that burn into your skin when you don’t acknowledge them. You can feel them.

“I can see it as clear as day in my head. While you were waving at me, he was staring at you.” She says, not bothering to spare him a glance. She’s so sure of herself. She seems like the kind of person to sing the lyrics of a song wrong without anyone noticing because she's just that confident.

“I don’t know. We both just kind of ran away from our marriages. We haven’t seen each other in three years because of them.” Jisung explains.

“Who’s them?” Minjeong asks.

“My ex fiancé, Soohyun and Minho’s ex fiancé Haeeun. Mine was abusive so I of course left at the last possible moment, and he found his to-be wife with her maid of honor and left.” Jisung elaborates.

“Wow. How… did you two manage to end up here?”

“We both made our getaway drivers go to the same diner and from there made plans to come here. Chan and Changbin live here.” Jisung says.

“That's kind of romantic in its own sense, isn’t it? Running away from your weddings on the same day and ending up at the same diner and escaping to the coastal mountains together.” Minjeong puts the situation in a light Jisung hadn’t considered before.

“I would’ve loved to have something like that. We just kind of fell into place. It was gradual and over three years worth of time. We both knew what was happening and didn’t bother to stop it.” Minjeong shares.

“I think that's far more romantic.” Jisung says. “A slow build up rather than an explosion.” 

“Yeah… I guess it is. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” The look that Minjeong has in her eye when she says it fills Jisung stomach with something he can’t decipher. Jealousy? Guilt? Admiration?

“Hm. Anyways, care to join me with the others? Your friends seem like fun.” She asks. Jisung can’t deny that offer.

They spend the rest of the day in the lake until the sun starts to dim and Jisung has to pretend that he can’t feel every muscle in Minho’s shoulders against his thighs when they chicken fight against Karina and Minjeong.

By the time the sky turns orange, everyone has cooled down and settled into a drifting group conversation. Karina is hanging off of Minjeong, Hyunjin is on Jeongin’s back, and Chan and Changbin bump shoulders. 

Jisung wishes he could have the comfort of Minho hugging him from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder, the rumbling of Minho’s voice vibrating against Jisung's back. His skin would feel hot from the sunburn that's slowly coming into view on his chest.

“I hate to be the one to say it, but we really need to get going. We have dinner with some friends so the girls can meet their aunt NingNing and aunt Giselle.” Minjeong says after a moment of silence.

“Awe, what a shame. We were gonna invite you to DQ with us.” Chan says. “Though, I’m sure their dinner will be much fancier than ours.”

“Haha, yeah. We should keep in contact though! I’ll give you guys our numbers. Maybe a bonfire at our place sometime soon?” Minjeong offers.

“I thought you guys lived elsewhere? Why are you staying at a hotel?” Jisung asks.

“By our I mean NingNing and Giselle’s. They’d be happy to host and meet you guys. I’ll be sure to tell them.” Minjeong explains.

The whole group agrees. Everyone goes back to their set up. Jisung averts his eyes from Minho when he dries his hair, he’s already stared enough today.

They exchange contact information and make plans for next week. Minjeong comes up to him separately.

“I don’t know your situation, but I know the way you look at each other. I’m here if you need advice. We’ll see you next weekend.” And then they drive away, leaving Jisung sunburned and confused.

………

The Dairy Queen they go to is fused with a Stuckey’s gas station. The shop itself has pocket knives on display and metal “give me liberty or give me death” signs for sale. It’s redneck and comforting and probably his favorite fast food spot on Earth.

He’s shivering under his coverup shirt. It’s always cold in here, even after putting on a sweater. It might just be the sun exhaustion. 

There isn’t a table big enough for all of them, the actual Dairy Queen section is small, so they all sit in groups at different tables. Chan and Changbin sit at a table with Jeongin and Hyunjin while Seungmin and Felix sit at a high-top table with Jisung and Minho.

He and Minho are sitting next to each other. Minho is radiating heat and Jisung is so, so cold. When their knees touch, neither of them care to move them. Jisung never had these small reassuring touches with Soohyun.

Jisungs muscles feel worn out from being in the water and sun all day. His eyes are starting to feel heavy. After he’s finished with his food, he rests his head on Minho’s warm shoulder. 

When they have to leave, Jisung makes Minho carry him on his back. It’s almost funny, the side by side of Hyunjin carrying a sleepy Lily on his back and Minho carrying Jisung. It’s cute seeing how Hyunjin and Lily have gotten along this fast.

On the car ride back, Jisung rests his head back on Minho’s shoulder. Minho has one arm around his waist and his free hand rubbing soothing circles into Jisung’s hair.

When they drop Hyunjin and Jeongin off at the hotel, they hug goodbye and promise to hang out at the cabin tomorrow. Without the other two here, there’s no need to sit on Minho’s lap. So they sit next to Lily, who is fast asleep in her car seat.

When they get home, Jisung wakes up to the dinging sound of the seats unbuckling and Minho reaching over to unbuckle Jisung. He smells like sand and the leftover cologne on his coverup shirt.

His vision is still blurry. The car light gives Minho a halo around his head. It outlines his prominent nose and lips. Minho has always had such soft lips. The top one sticks out like an upside down pout.

Minho scoops him up and Jisung lets him, his legs wrapping around Minho’s waist. Minho is strong. He has the body of a dancer. He could probably throw Jisung across the room. Jisung wishes he would. He pushes that thought.

Jisung used to be stronger. He was a gym rat in college. He’s become weaker since dating Soohyun.

Minho takes him up to their room and sets him gently down on the bed. Jisung watches through tired low eyes as Minho gets ready for bed and crawls in beside him.

Jisung wakes up the next morning to Minho tracing the lines of his palms, looking sadly at the creases as he runs his thumb over them.

“G’morning.” Jisung says, closing his fingers over Minho's thumb. Minho looks as though he’s startled out of his thoughts. 

“Morning.” Minho says, smiling.

Jisung it’s still wearing his slightly damp trunks from yesterday. “Did I fall asleep before changing?” He only opens one eye, still adjusting to the sunlight spilling in through the blackout curtain they smartly invested in a couple years ago.

Minho seems lost in his own thoughts for a moment, his eyes drifting downwards. “I didn’t want to wake you up to make you shower. You should soon though. You smell like lake water.” Minho says, meeting his eyes again, a playful smirk pulling at his lips.

“Is that a bad thing?” Jisung smiles.

Minho shrugs. “Not necessarily. You don’t smell like him anymore.” He makes a valid point.

“I don’t have any of my soaps here. I don’t know if Chan and Changbin keep extra for guests.” Jisung says.

“I had extra under the sink that I used after the lake last night if you want.” Minho says, tracing Jisung’s palm again.

“That’d be great.” Jisung yawns. “I’m gonna stay here a bit longer though. You’re cute when you first wake up. Your top lip sticks out a little extra.”

“No it doesn’t.” Minho pouts, proving exactly his point. And for some odd reason, in that exact moment, he almost pecks it; takes the soft flesh between his lips and holds it there.

He comes back to reality quickly before his body acts against him. Minho's pout is still present and his brows are furrowed.

“Yes it does. Even in your baby pictures.” Jisung says, meeting Minho's eyes. 

They’re interrupted by their door swinging open, tiny footsteps over carpet pittering over until Lily’s head pops up over the mattress, clambering onto the bed and grabbing the sheets for grip.

She's grinning ear to ear and her nose and cheeks are sunburnt. She's still in her purple nightgown, her hair messy from sleep. “Daddy said we could go to the fruit stalls so I can see Haewon!” 

She climbs over the bedding and slots herself right in between Minho and Jisung. Minho grabs her and tickles her causing a flurry of limbs attempting to stop him. “And I’m gonna eat all the cherries and you aren't gonna get any!!” Minho says, causing wicked screeches from Lily. “Nooo!!”

The three of them must be the only ones awake because if either of Lily’s dads were awake by now then she would already have her hair up in bows and her choice of eye shadow from the tinker bell kids pallet she got for her birthday meticulously painted on her eyelids.

Jisung glances at the digital clock on the nightstand. It’s 7:50 am, and everyone is still probably asleep. Lily has stopped giggling and is catching her breath, Minho hugging her in a bear hug and shaking her side to side. He’s so good with kids it hurts.

Jisung leans close to Lily and boops her nose. “Your daddies are still sleeping so why don’t you hang out with the cool uncles for now?” Jisung smiles.

Lily leans in even closer, bumping their noses together, shit-eating grin spread across her face. “Jinnie is the cool uncle.” Lily says. Jisung fake gasps, offended. “You can’t possibly mean that!” He says, poking her in the stomach causing more giggles. 

“Well he’s coming over again today so you can love him more than me all day today!” Jisung says, petty.

“That’s okay! You have Uncle Minho! He loves you more than anyone.” Lily comforts. Jisung blushes even though she probably doesn’t even know what she’s talking about. A toddler can’t possibly know that they are both runaway brides- or more accurately grooms.

“And I love him more than anyone.” Jisung says to Lily. It isn’t a lie. Minho is his best friend. More than his other half. He’s the chemical component that makes him Jisung.

“When are you and Uncle Minho gonna get marriage?” She says, her toddler grammar a little off. 

“Not anytime soon, Lily.” Jisung giggles. Minho is looking at him from behind Lily. His eyes are saying something indecipherable.

“Lily!! Where are you stinker!?” Chan’s voice rings out from the hall. He pops his head in, hair tied back into a bun. “There you are! C’mon, you need to get ready, we have very important makeup decisions to make.” Chan says, face serious.

She climbs off the bed, slipping onto the floor with a thump! She grabs her dad’s hand. “What's the decision?” She asks, looking up at Chan. 

“Which fruit we want to match your eyeshadow to.” Chan says, closing the door.

Jisung and Minho get ready. Jisung smells like Minho after his shower. They wear light and airy shirts and bring sunglasses. When they arrive downstairs, Seungmin is treating Felix’s burns with aloe, the blonde sucking air through his teeth at the coldness.

Felix has the kind of skin that absorbs all light it attracts. Jisung knows that in two days Felix’s burns will have settled into a tan, darkening his freckles. Jisung tans pretty well himself, but his skin is already naturally a honey gold.

Chan is sitting on the couch with Lily on the floor between his legs. He’s holding rubber bands between his teeth and pulling her hair into two pigtails on the top of her head while Changbin entertains Jeongin and Hyunjin.

“All done! What do you think?” Chan says, holding a mirror up to Lily to look at her hair. 

“I love it!” Lily exclaims. She gets up and runs to Hyunjin. “Does my hair and makeup look pretty?” She asks, widening her eyes and showing off her hair for approval.

“It looks…” Hyunjin evaluates, “beautiful!” He throws his arms up in excitement. 

Seungmin fans dry the rest of the aloe on Felix’s back and hands him his sleeveless white shirt to throw on over. 

“Are we good to take off?” Chan asks, looking around at everybody. This time Hyunjin sits in Jeongin’s lap. Changbin claims it’s because it only took him a day to be accepted into the family, therefore he can sit ‘wherever he damn pleases.’ Even though Jeongin and Hyunjin drove in a separate car, they still all clamber into the one van.

The fruit stall isn't that far. It’s off the highway by a shitty gas station, only open during the spring and summer. It’s owned and run by a couple in their early forties. Over the years Jisung has learned that they have two kids, a nine year old daughter that helps with the stand, and Haewon, a little girl about Lily’s age.

When they pull into the parking spot on the grass, Jisung asks Lily, “what fruit did you choose to match your eye makeup to?” 

“It’s red like a cherry. I want to look pretty for Haewon.” Lily smiles, closing her eyes to show the red coloring on her lids.

“You’re beautiful no matter what, Lily. Haewon can’t decide that for you.” Jisung says.

“I want to be extra beautiful for Haewon.” Lily retorts. Oh, so it’s like that then. Jisung gets it.

The car doors open up and everyone piles out, Lily immediately running to Haewon. Haewon is already holding a paper cup of cherries for her. “It’s your favorite!” Lily gasps and they run off under a shaded tree holding hands to eat.

Chan takes the order for them. A couple of cherries, mangoes, strawberries, and a watermelon to take home. There are wooden picnic tables around, probably on their way to rotting. 

“So how are you handling it?” Minho asks, pulling a stem off a cherry and popping it into his mouth. “Your wedding flee and all.”

“I've barely thought about it. I feel free. Like I can finally breathe again. Plus I have you. You have this kind of effect on me where nothing else really matters as long as you’re there.” Jisung answers honestly. Maybe too honest. Minho is the thought that drowns all else out.

Minho hums in response, his eyes distantly gazing forward. “It was weird running, considering I was the one that proposed.” He says. He talks in a voice that sounds like it’s only for them to hear. Jisung has always liked Minho in that sense, willing to keep their conversation to themselves.

“Why did you propose?” Jisung asks dumbly. He knows why. He just hopes that maybe hearing it will get rid of the lump in his throat. 

Minho raises an eyebrow at him in response and huffs. “I thought that part was pretty clear.” It was. Jisung just wants to justify something that he can’t quite discern himself.

“You loved her?” Jisung asks, trying to maintain a stable tone. He did. Or does. Jisung prays it’s not the latter.

“I did,” Jisung swallows. Minho continues. “But I don’t think she loved me back. I guess… At that point it’s not love anymore. Just naivety. I was constantly begging to be loved by her. But she either gave me nothing or smothered me. I don’t like being smothered. I don’t like drowning either. She drowned me. Diluted the parts of myself I liked.” Minho says, still staring forward. Jisung is glad. Maybe this way he can’t see the guilt present on Jisung’s face.

“Maybe it’s a good thing then. Even if you loved her, she didn’t make you yourself.” Jisung adds, making himself feel better.

“You make me feel like myself, Jisung.” Minho says, looking at Jisung in the eye through his sunglasses.

Before Jisung can manage a response, Chan is plopping himself down next to Minho, slapping his hand onto the other's shoulder. Minho winces in pain from his sunburn, causing an “Oh! Sorry!” from Chan. The look Minho gives him tells him he’s just as unhappy about Chan taking up space at their table. 

The sun unsheathes from the clouds, beating down causing Jisung to squint. He shields his eyes with his hand, ultimately deciding to pluck the pair of sunglasses off Minho’s face.

It’s not like he needs them anyway. 

To Minho, sunglasses are more of a novelty than a need. Just like how some people don’t believe in birds, Minho doesn’t believe in sunglasses. And yet for some odd reason he gets a pair everywhere they go. 

Jisung has spent countless hours trying to explain and convince Minho of their purpose, ultimately getting a smug “nuh uh.” No care for Jisung's mental distress.

Jisung has given up and accepted that they are simply souvenirs to him. His dad collected mugs, his mom collected playing cards, and Lee Minho has a hoard of sunglasses.

The pair he picked from the gas station yesterday look straight out of an early 2000’s Tuscan mansion; something your rich wine-aunt would wear to the family gathering while everyone tried to ignore the smell of stale cigarettes on her breath.

Chan laughs at the sight and pulls something from his bag. (Yes, he had a bag. He’s a mother.) It’s a large square scarf. It almost looks like a bandana but the material is thin and sheer with a yellow floral pattern. 

Chan ties it under Jisung’s chin and Minho takes a picture. “You look straight out of an indie film.” Minho giggles, looking at the picture. 

“-like you should be passenger in a roofless red convertible.” Chan adds. 

Changbin joins in, walking towards their table. “All you need is a baywatch-red bikini and a fruity margarita and you’re good to go!” Minho's ears go red at “bikini” but- Jisung can’t judge considering his do too. At least his ears have the decency to be covered by the head scarf.

About fifteen minutes later they gather together, strangling Lily off of Haewon. She refuses to talk to anyone on the ride home, salty about being torn away from her best friend. Jisung gets it.

They all disperse once they get home, Chan and Changbin cleaning, Hyunjin offering to help, Jeongin minding himself on the couch with his phone, Seungmin and Felix disappearing together, and Jisung and Minho setting Lily down for a nap.

She’s still upset about Haewon, laying starfish on the ground in her room, refusing to sleep. Her dead weight isn’t as heavy as she thinks it is. Minho is able to scoop her up and plop her on her bed in three seconds.

“I’m not tired!” She whines. She might be cute but she is, in fact, still a toddler. 

“But just think about it Lily! You’ll have extra energy to stay up late with us for movie night!” Minho persuades.

In that moment, as Jisung looks over at Minho as they’re kneeled by her bed he almost thinks he could get used to it. Fondly looking on as Minho talks animatedly to a cute-cheeked kid. Lily herself snaps him out of it.

“Uncle Jisung, can’t you tell him I’m not tired?”

Jisung hums in consideration. “Hmm. I don’t know Lilypad,” Jisung uses her nickname as a weak spot. “What if you fall asleep halfway through the movie and we have a bunch of fun without you?” He can see the gears turning in her head. He’s got her. It’s not hard considering she’s a toddler with the worst case of FOMO Jisung has ever seen.

She sighs, somber. “Okay, but I need my Dino fluffy.” (Fluffy. See: toddler accent for “stuffy”). Minho lets out a tired sigh.

“I forgot it on the back porch. Could you get it?” Minho asks.

Jisung goes downstairs, stopping his hand before it opens the sliding glass door. Seungmin and Felix are sitting on the outdoor swing, an old rusty thing Chan’s grandpa built. 

Their sides are flush together, Seungmin resting his head on where Felix’s is on his shoulder. Jisung opens the door. 

“Watcha doin?” The two jump apart from each other with a twin yelp saying “nothing!” at the same time. Jisung chuckles and grabs the Dino, leaving the two to continue. He has no intention of forcing them together. He has no doubt it’ll come to fruition on its own.

He brings the stuffed dinosaur back up to its proper place, tucked into Lily’s side. They both give her a peck on the  forehead before leaving her to nap. Before they left she yawned and said, “Uncle Sungie? When you marry Uncle Minho, can I be the flower girl?”

Jisung tried to ignore the familiar lump in his throat he got when Minho looked at him and replied, “Maybe, Lilypad.”

The house feels like a quiet Sunday afternoon. Warm sunlight shines on the floorboards, the sound of the kitchen vent hums as it sucks up all the smoke rising from the boiling pot of water. The living room smells like the dinner Minho is cooking, sizzling sounding from a pan every time he cooks a piece of meat.

It’s quiet. The kind of silence you wake up to. Jisung thinks he could exist in this exact space forever. 

It’s been a good four hours since they put Lily to bed. She comes dragging down the stairs, still half asleep, her short hair in a mess around her head.

“Good morning Lilypad.” Jisung says from the couch, taking his attention away from the show he’s been watching on mute as to not disturb the child.

She ignores him and walks right past him to the kitchen. She tugs on Minho’s sweatshirt.

“Minho?” She asks, groggy by the looks of it. “Are you making dinner?” Minho hums and cuts off a piece of steak, blowing it and feeding it to her. Her eyes open, pupils blown wide. Minho is a good cook. He was taught by his grandmother. His grandfather worked on a farm and so his grandma had to find a way to make the food work. Minho’s first job was as a line cook at a bistro. Jisung remembers because he got a job as a server at the same place so he could talk to Minho.

It didn’t last very long. He got fired about two months in because he wasn’t running his food. Minho kept it for a while. He only quit because he was accepted into a college four hours away.

Chan comes up from downstairs, looking just like his daughter. Jisung wonders how much of it was nature versus nurture. Changbin follows from behind. They decided to snag a nap while Lily was asleep.

“The food is almost ready. Someone set the table.” Minho says, plating the last piece of meat.

They sit down and Chan cries. He cries because it’s the first time in three years that they’ve sat down together like this. He cries into one hand and Changbin holds the other under the table. Lily starts crying too. Because she’s just like her father.

Three years away from each other. Three years Jisung cried himself to sleep convinced he was going to have to spend the rest of his life with a man he despised. Three years he felt like he was aging faster than his years. 

Stepping into this house was like bathing in the fountain of youth. He feels lighter on his feet. His cheeks have filled out. His skin has cleared. His body has healed of bruises.

Jisung takes a bite of the meat, the flavor melting in his mouth. He groans and melts into his chair a bit. “Minho I could kiss you right now” Jisung throws his arms around Minho's head and lands a wet kiss on Minho's cheek. Minho smiles while chewing and his ears go red. Jisung can't imagine why.

The aftermath of dinner is domestic. People moving around the kitchen cleaning, Felix putting popcorn in the microwave, Jisung sitting on the kitchen counter next to the sink while Minho rinses dishes. He complains every time water gets on his butt, resulting in Minho flicking water in Jisung's face.

Eventually they settle down, all the lights are off and everyone huddles together on the couch. Hyunjin and Jeongin take up the arm chair and Lily squishes between her dads. 

They decide on some adventure comedy movie. Jisung doesn’t really pay attention. He’s too focused on his back being flush against Minho. He can feel the rise and fall of Minho breathing. It’s a steady rhythm, slowly lulling him to sleep. 

A few minutes in he's woken up by a flash. He squints his eyes but doesn’t open them, assuming the movie is just flashing. He becomes aware of the arms under his shirt, holding him in place. He seeps into the warmth, like sweet molasses slowly melting over Minhos surface.

The next few days are lazy; slow. Because the AC is broken and there’s whirring  box fans in various places all over the house, everyone left to simmer in the heat. Chan is in his office working and Changbin is at the mechanics shop working his shift, leaving Hyunjin and Jeongin as babysitters.

Apparently, on the third day, Jeongin decided he was sick of boredom and rounded them all up to get in Chan's van to get ice cream. 

“Why the van?” Seungmin questions.

“Because it’s the only car that has the car seat for Lily.” Jeongin states simply. 

“Couldn’t we just move it into another car?” 

“No, because Chan is an anxious mother and that thing is a medieval contraption that I do not want to attempt handling.” Everyone mumbles in agreement.

The ice cream shop is a small store hidden between a restaurant and a record store downtown. A wall of sweetness hits him when they walk in. The place doubles as a chocolate store, shelves lined with various chocolates for sale. 

Jisung swears Lily’s pupils double in size at just the scent of so much sugar. 

They get in line, ordering for themselves and one by one taking up the corner table in the back of the shop. Lily gets something colorful because it’s the only way she can decipher if something will taste good. 

Minho stays on standby to wipe her face and hands when bright pink and blue ice cream melts over her cone. He’s careful to not rub too hard and hurt her. Jisung feels his heart hurt a bit. He’ll blame it on the sugar.

Afterwards they visit the record shop next door. They make Lily wash her hands first so as to not contaminate the records with her sticky cotton candy flavored fingers.

They move about the small shop. The room in the back is filled with cd’s and old movies Jisung vaguely remembers his parents watching as a kid.

He trails behind Minho. In his natural place, basking in the presence of his best friend. Jisung flips through vinyls next to Minho, bumping hips, looking for anything worth their time.

They both pick something at the same time, facing each other. 

“What did you pick?” Jisung asks, looking sideways at the blue cover.

“Sam Cooke. What’d you get?” Minho responds.

“TV girl.” He says, holding up the electric pink and blue cover of his favorite artist. 

“Isn’t that the artist that makes sex songs sound sad?” Minho laughs.

“Not that it’s any of your business.” Jisung retorts. “But yes.” TV girl was his favorite before Soohyun came along and convinced him that it was immodest and “too vulgar.” He's happy to claim it his favorite again, not worrying about anyone else’s opinion.

They check out and Seungmin buys a smashing pumpkins vinyl for Felix. They have to walk back to the parking spot. It’s pay to park everywhere downtown. Minho and Jisung walk on either side of Lily, swinging her as they walk causing giggles from the little girl.

She lets go of them to run forward to Jeongin. They gravitate towards each other, filling the space Lily left. Minho grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together. 

One day they’ll be too old to excuse it. One day they’ll be too old to hold hands down the street and call the best friend card. Maybe they already are too old. Jisung doesn’t care. He lets the cold metal of Minho’s ring and bracelet sting his skin.

The next day they run errands. Not all of them, just Minho and Jisung. Jisung has always hated grocery stores. The floors are cold, the music is obnoxious, and there’s too many choices.

Minho is more so there for… moral support. Someone to anchor Jisung to reality before he rips his hair out from the same song being on repeat over the echoing speakers.

They’re standing in the bread aisle, or- the aisle where the bread is located. It doesn’t matter. Nothing else in that aisle is worth their time.

“What is the point in having so many options? There’s one kind of bread unless you’re a loser and gluten free.” Jisung complains.

“People die from eating gluten, Jisung.” Minho unhelpfully supplies. 

“I don’t think that’s how celiac works. It causes complications but it doesn’t kill them directly.” 

Minho grabs their regular brand of white bread and bonks it on top of Jisung's head. “If you think they’re such losers then why do you know so much about them?” 

“You’re just jealous I’m right.” Jisung brags.

Minho rolls his eyes and smiles. “Whatever you say Jisungie.” Because Minho gives him whatever he wants.

They move lazily, slowly meandering up and down each aisle. Minho walks beside him because Jisung wanted to push the cart. 

Jisung always had a sense of urgency. It’s always go go go! He feels like time is moving too fast as he’s racing against the clock to live his life to the fullest. Minho is the only time he ever slows down.  

Sometimes Jisung thinks it’s a little surreal to even stand next to him. To walk next to him. He almost gets nauseous when he remembers Minho is his best friend. Jisung can’t even say it makes him feel insecure because Minho makes him feel so…beautiful. 

Even now, under the fluorescent lighting highlighting the zits forming on his cheekbone, Minho looks over at him and smiles.

“What?” Jisung questions, feeling a little shy.

“You’re just pretty to look at… Ok keep moving.” 

He feels nauseous again.

When they arrive home they set all the bags onto the counter. Everyone comes to help put things away. When everything is eventually put away Minho grabs his hand and they sneak out the door away from the rest of them. 

Jisung feels like a teenager. They take Seungmin’s car because Minho feels like being a bitch and they meander down back roads until Jisung thinks Minho is taking him out to the woods to murder him with an axe. 

Jisung glances at Minho’s hand white knuckling the wheel. He pretends to be indifferent but can’t stop looking. Maybe he’s just a pervert. 

They get out and the path Minho has them takes winds through trees and they have to step over trunks and duck vines to move through.

They finally reach a big boulder with wildflowers surrounding it. Memories come flushing back. “Did you just bring me to Lovers Rock?” Jisung teases and shoves Minho.

“What?” Minho obviously doesn’t know where the hell he is. His cheeks turn pink and Jisung wonders for a second what it would be like if he was the one to make Minho look like that.

“This is where Felix and I fucked stoned summer after senior year!” Decisions were made and mistakes were learned from. Felix and Jisung just wanted fun. It was never anything too serious.

“What!?” Minho’s face drains of color. 

“How did you even find this place? This is where we snuck off to get high because Chan and Changbin would take it and say we were too young and then smoke it themselves.” Jisung laughs at the way Minho's eyes go wide. 

“This is where Seungmin and I kissed for the first and only time my junior year! It was a spur of the moment thing with no real meaning behind it and then he punched me afterwards.” It’s Jisung’s turn to go pale. Seungmin??? Really??

Jisung giggles and Minho smiles. They pick grass and Minho calls him pretty. Jisung throws a mushroom at him to divert his attention away from the heat growing in his chest, probably apparent on his face.

They scale the pond and climb the rock. Minho lays his head on Jisung’s lap, letting him card his fingers through his hair. Jisung allows the aching in his chest to simmer. He doesn’t feel like ruining a good moment.

When they arrive home Felix looks like he’s about to rip his hair out. “Where are you guys?!”

Jisung only offers the answer of “Oh, you know… out.” And escapes with Minho up the stairs.

On Friday morning Changbin wakes him up to go fishing. 

There’s no saying no. He’s already standing there with a container of bait, an army green bucket hat, and fishing pole in hand. 

It’s barely even dawn. The air is chilly and there’s dew on the grass that leaves his sandals wet. The sky is still dark but yet they’re in Changbin’s truck driving down a desolate back road with the headlights on to their fishing spot.

“Tell me about Soohyun.” Changbin finally says once they get to the wooden outlook.

Maybe other people would be tired of talking about it by now, but Jisung has barely talked to anyone about it. This is pretty much the first time someone has actually asked.

Jisung just sighs. “I don’t know man. We had a good year. We had a really good year. Then everything went downhill.” Jisung is sitting on the boardwalk, legs dangling over the edge. The water isn’t high enough for his feet to touch. He casts the line.

Changbin is standing next to Jisung, caring a bit more, casting further out. 

“How so?” Changbin asks. He already knows the answer but he also knows that Jisung needs to talk about it. 

“That third year was when I finally moved out of the cabin. I think that’s when something changed. It started with just one mistake. A heated argument ending in a slap across the face. He cried and apologized and then ignored me for a week. But then it happened again and the apology watered down. I kept forgiving him because I kept believing they were just mistakes.” 

He can still remember the switch from the first incident. Soohyun didn’t even have time to retract his hand before his eyes widened. They got all red and watery and he cried so much he threw up. Jisung doesn’t know why. It was him who got slapped. 

The second time, Soohyun couldn’t even look at him. He was too prideful. He mumbled an apology and Jisung just let it go.

“One time it got really bad.” Jisung stares off, remembering. 

“We were at his parents house while everyone was out of town. It had been a build up. Me not wanting to sleep with him and leaving the house more. He was already stewing in anger when he found out that Minho and I had snuck out to see each other. It was the first time I had truly yelled back at him. Right up in his face at the top of the stairs.” Jisung takes a shaky inhale before continuing.

“He shoved me and I fell down the stairs. I cut my forehead and had a nose bleed. And yet I still helped him clean blood off the walls so his parents wouldn’t find out. I covered the bruises with makeup so my coworkers wouldn’t question.”

The sun has gradually appeared. Birds are waking up.

“Jisung, you know why we didn’t go to the wedding right?” Changbin asks. 

“Because Lily is too young to travel?” Jisung scoffs, recalling Chan’s bullshit excuse.

“When you came here that one weekend, we found the makeup wipes. Chan brought them in and told me, ‘I am not going to the wedding of an abuser.’ And so he made up some bullshit excuse about Lily.”

He held to that excuse even when the date was pushed back month after month. Jisung forgot Minho’s wedding was on the same day. Jeongin wasn’t there because of school and Seungmin had made it known that he wasn’t going to his wedding out of resentment towards Soohyun. 

Felix was the only one who came and he was only there to be a getaway driver. God Jisung is grateful for that.

“Knowing Chan it’s probably been eating him up inside… knowing he lied about it.” Jisung huffs in amusement.

“It has. And I’ve been the one to deal with it.” Changbin confirms. “He’ll probably cry if you tell him you know. It’ll probably be for the best anyway- to let him know you forgive him.”

“He never needed forgiveness. I was never mad in the first place.”

“I know. Regardless, it would give him some peace of mind.”

They sit there for another hour. It’s about 6:30am when they get back. They didn’t catch anything. They didn’t expect to. Just being there was enough.

When they get home Chan is the only one awake making coffee in the kitchen. Changbin pats Jisung on the back and goes to his and Chan's bathroom to shower. 

“I know about the wedding thing.” He says. Chan cries, just like his husband said he would. One hand on the counter, the other covering his eyes.

“Im so sorry. I just couldn’t *hic* support it.” Chan gasps between wet sobs. He’s a pretty crier but the sounds he makes are something else entirely. 

Jisung just hugs him. He scratches his back. “It's okay. I understand. I forgive you.” Chan hears the last sentence and his sobs slow down. 

He pulls away from Jisung, smiling with red eyes. “Thank you Jisung.”

He takes a shower and gets back into bed. Minho shuffles and Jisung freezes, worried he woke him up. Minho just grabs him from behind and holds him closer, reacting to the new warmth. 

Jisung feels nauseous again.

They wake up to smashing pumpkins. It’s blasting through the record player on full volume. Jisung and Minho both walk downstairs at 10:43am squinting at the brightness of the living room with messy hair.

Mayonnaise is playing. Lily is spinning around grinning ear to ear. Seungmin and Felix are dancing with each other, the former doing an absolute shit job at covering up his blush. Sure, it’s a grunge song with heavy guitar, but it’s also something you could slow dance to. 

“I used to think the lead singer was hot in high school.” Felix admits.

Jisung laughs. “Billy Corgan?” 

Felix grins. “Yeah, when he was young and had long hair.” He pretends to not notice Seungmin seething, hiding his burning face into the blonde’s shoulder. “Probably not the most practical since he went bald.”

“Where’s Chan?” Minho asks, looking around for the elder.

“He’s on the back porch. Changbin is at work again and Hyunjin and Jeongin are staying at their hotel for the day.” Felix explains, leaving his dance patented to flip the record over.

Minho leaves to go sit out with Chan. Jisung almost goes with but something in Minho’s expression said he planned on going alone. 

When he comes back his eyes are a little red but he blames it on the pollen. Jisung chooses to believe him.

At about 3:00pm Chan announces that they’ve decided to do the bonfire that night. Changbin gets first dibs on his and Chan's shower since he’s covered in motor oil from his shift.

They have an hour to get ready and Jeongin texted saying he’ll meet them at NingNing and Giselle's house. 

Jisung scowls at how effortlessly Minho puts himself together. Some simple baggy jeans and a brown sweater with the smell of his cologne.

Once he finished fretting over his outfit- a sleeveless white shirt and jeans- he decided he wanted it to smell like Minho too. A comfort in new places. Anytime they went out to a new city or event he would wear that one goddamned hoodie of Minho’s. It was one of his old dance team shirts with “LEE” plastered on the back.

He decides he doesn’t want to lead Minjeong's suspicions about him and Minho any further, so he opts for the cologne.

He takes a deep inhale of his collar after spritzing it.

“Yeah?” Minho teases. Jisung blushes.

“You’ve always smelled good. It’s like liquid gold. A solution to all my problems. I could probably bathe in it and come out with all my bruises healed.” Jisung admits. Minho has always smelled so edible. Jisung has always had to keep from biting.

Chan calls them down and they all get into their respective cars. Hyunjin and Jeongin riding separately, Felix and Seungmin in the latter's car, and Jisung and Minho tagging along in the van. 

Jisung sees a look of pity in Chan's eyes through the rearview mirror but it quickly leaves as they follow Seungmin's car out of the driveway.

When they get there it’s a short dirt road through some trees and then a good sized house. They are the last to arrive in the van but they all wait to go inside together.

When they ring the doorbell of the glass door they are met with barking and the two girls squealing and giggling to beat each other to open the door, tackling Lily once it opens. Karina pulls her two daughters off of her, apologizing.

“You guys can come in, the others are already in the back around the fire pit. We live near a lake so we have bug spray if any of you need any.” Karina holds the door open for all of them.

The dog sniffs all of them as they pass through the house, following Karina outside after them. 

Jisung can smell the smoke. Most of it is from the grill that an unfamiliar woman is cooking at. There are already chairs set up around the fire. Minjeong occupies one, talking to a wide-eyed woman with long wavy black hair, both of them holding beers.

“Oh hey! Come sit down! This is NingNing.” Minjeong introduces the woman she was talking to a moment before who gives a polite wave. “And the one at the grill is Giselle.” Giselle snaps the tongs she's using to flip burgers with a grin.

Jisung knows Minho will be nervous to eat it. He only trusts his own cooking when it comes to gas grills. It’s probably the cause of a bad food incident when he was a kid that he never got over.

Jisung yelps at the cold spray that hits his neck. Minho laughs. “There was a mosquito.” Minho rubs the repellent into Jisung’s neck, squeezing a bit. His throat gets tight and he imagines Minho's hand slipping all the way around. He bites his lip. When he quickly snaps back he expects to see Minjeong raising an eyebrow at him but she's talking to Chan, unaware of his thoughts.

The sun is setting and the bugs are coming out. The girls are running around with bubbles, chasing and popping the ones they can reach. Giselle calls them all up to get food and has a table of condiments and other ingredients to make their burgers. Minho is hesitant to bite into it but goes for it, his eyes giving away the relief he feels when he sees it’s cooked all the way through.

They round up the girls once it gets dark so they don’t end up in the lake. They're all sitting around the fire. Jisung can feel the radiation heating up his sunburn, or maybe it’s just the fact that he can see when Minho glances at him in his peripherals.

“Speaking of meetings,” Changbin starts after NingNing confessed to a bad boss run in. “Chan and I- well, you tell it babe. I like hearing it from your point of view.”

Chan blushes and smacks his arm. “Whatever, you just like hearing about how hot you are.” Changbin smiles and shrugs.

“Well anyways, Changbin and I met when we were kids. We lived in the same cul-de-sac and I was like two grades above him. He kept popping up in the neighborhood. Anywhere my friends and I were he just so happened to be sauntering by.”

Changbin intercepts. “I may have stalked him a little.” They laugh and Chan continues.

“Well I was a broke high schooler and he was still in middle school with overprotective parents, so I would get paid to babysit him. It doesn’t seem too bad until you realize that by this time we were friends. I can’t say I’m not guilty of holding it over his head. I still kinda saw him as a baby. He hadn’t hit a growth spurt since the fifth grade and still had his choppy bangs. But that all changed when I came back from a summer vacation my junior year and little baby Binnie bulked up. All of the sudden he was too close or too far. From that point on we danced around the feeling until our friends shoved us into a closet at a party and we-“ Chan looks over at Lily who is intently listening with wide eyes.

“We… fell in love.” Is what he lands on. The group laughs and Chan hides his face. He gets flustered too easily. Even the implication of such things makes him red. 

Karina gasps. “Oh my god I totally forgot the marshmallows inside. Jisung, could you get them? They should be on the table.” 

He nods and when he comes back outside all three of the girls have moved from sitting on the grass to squishing into his seat. Minho pats his thigh and Jisung hands over the marshmallows and takes a seat. Hands snake around his waist to hold him in place and Minjeong does raise her eyebrow this time. Jisung doesn’t care. He ignores her. Minho is holding him and there’s absolutely nothing weird about it. He thinks.

Chan has that look in his eyes again but it goes away as the conversation moves. Karina, Minjeong, and Chan all cover their kids' ears when Jisung tells a story of a bad post-prom makeout.

When Jisung describes him Minho holds a little tighter. His chin lands over Jisung’s shoulder. 

Mostly everyone is two beers in with the exclusion of Changbin and Karina to watch over their kids, and Jisung because he's too much of a lightweight to handle one. 

Jeongin gets up and heads towards the trail they were told leads to the lake. Jisung gets up and Minhos hands trails, trying to keep him there. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ll be back.” Jisung says quietly. Minho looks at him with sad eyes but lets him go.

The moon is bright enough that he can walk over the leaf covered ground and not fall. He finds Jeongin sitting by the lake smoking- a bad habit he picked up from his mother.

Jisung lets him take another drag before he plucks it from his mouth and stomps it out with his shoe. “You’re far too young to be ruining your lungs like that.” He says.

“You’re only like a year older than me, Sung.” Jeongin points. 

Jisung ignores him and sits next to him, knocking their knees together. “What's wrong?” 

The night is quiet. At least they are. The wind is still and the only sound is the ever present ambiance of the lake. Frogs, crickets, cicadas. The air is warm but dry enough not to sweat. Even the sky has the decency to be clear, the crescent moon shining next to dying stars.

Jeongin picks up a smooth rock, examines it. He flips it over in his hand, not looking at Jisung when he asks, “You had older brothers, right?” 

“One, yeah. Why?” Jisung responds, grabbing his arms exposed by his sleeveless shirt, hugging his knees closer to his chest.

“Were you close?” He runs a thumb over the smooth surface.

“Not really. He was too much older than me for us to really have a bond. He was my babysitter and when I got older he did too. By the time I was old enough, or- conscious enough to hang out with he had already moved out for college.”

Jeongin is quiet for a second. “I remember when I was younger my dad would always suggest that I hang out with my brother. Because he would always invite his younger brother to stuff. I would always deny, scared that Minho wouldn’t want me infringing on his hangouts.” He throws the rock, the smooth surface skimming over the water.

“Because you’re half-brothers?” Jisung asks.

“No, Minho was only three by the time I was born. He didn’t really have any attachment to his dad before our mom married mine and I was born. We grew up like full siblings and I consider him one.”

Jisung picks a worthy rock up for himself, attempting to do the same as Jeongin. The rock skips maybe twice before pathetically plunking into the water.

“Then why did you feel that way?”

“Insecurity, probably. I looked up to him and therefore assumed he looked down on me.” Jeongin picks up a rock, flawlessly skimming it once again. “That only changed when you came, Ji. You were the friendly kid that filled the age gap between us. I had an excuse to go with Minho because Jisung is our mutual friend. You were my gateway.”

Jisung looks over at him. He knows he probably has the sorry look on his face that Jeongin hates. “You know that Minho never cared if you were there.” He knows Jeongin hates pity but he can’t help himself.

“I know that now. But when I was twelve and painfully unaware it wasn’t so obvious. I did know how to read a room though, and sometimes you guys needed to be alone.”

Jisung doesn’t exactly know what that means.

Crunching sounds from behind them. “We’re heading out. The girls need to get to bed.” Minho says. 

Jeongin turns to Jisung one more time before standing up. “Thanks for coming out here with me, Jisung. I missed you.” 

Minho waits for Jisung, bumping shoulders with him as they walk the trail. “What’d you talk about” 

“Big important things for adults.” Jisung responds, dodging the question. 

When they’re finally driving home, Minho falls asleep. Sometimes you guys needed to be alone. There are moments when time will stop, and Jisung will stare a second too long. Even now as the street lights pass by, Jisung can't seem to tear his eyes away. 

Minho peeks one eye open. “I can feel you staring.” He mutters. He lets his head fall on Jisung’s shoulder. The others can’t hear them over their own chatter and the radio playing softly over the speakers. 

“You’re beautiful.” Shame burns in his chest. He can’t take it back. That would be a lie. Jisung is a bad liar. Or maybe Minho can just read him like a book. Either way he can’t risk it.

Minho snores softly. Jisung lets his head fall on top of Minho’s. 

Sometime around four Felix comes into the living smelling a little too good to be normal. “Are you and Minho okay to stay here with Lily tonight?”

“Got a hot date Lixie?” Jisung questions.

Felix blushes. “Chan, Changbin, Minnie, and I are going out for dinner and Innie and his boyfriend decided to stay in.

Oh.

“Uh-uhm yeah sure. We’ll get her into bed.” Jisung ensures.

“Okay thank you.” Felix kisses him on the forehead. “Wish me luck.” He whispers. The others usher him out the door just in time for Felix to send him a sappy smile before disappearing into the daylight.

Minho’s face appears right in front of him, catching his breath. Minho is behind the couch bent over to block his view of his screen. His face is all upside down and goofy. Their noses bump together. “Where’d everyone go?”

“Double date.” Although it wasn’t explicit, Jisung took it as such when he saw how red Felix got.

“Double?” His eyebrow raises. He’s cute. Jisung thinks he is at least.

“Twas’ only a matter of time.” He shakes his head side to side, their noses rubbing together in an upside down Eskimo kiss. Minho smiles.

“This means we are in charge of Lily. She has to be in bed in two hours. From what I know she’ll go to bed on her own but keep an eye on her. I think Chan fed her earlier.” Minho hops over the couch and sits next to Jisung.

“Alrighty then.” 

Hours pass by and Lily does in fact wander off sleepily to bed after they force her to brush her teeth. They quietly order food and sit on the floor of the living room eating while watching a random documentary about infinity that bores Jisung out of his mind. 

Eventually they ignore it, talking until they turn blue. Filling each other in on the three misspent years away from each other. Jisung explains a lot of the situation with Soohyun, Minho gives a full in detail description of his thoughts when he walked in on Haeeun.

They listen to music, sharing Minho’s AirPods. Getting up to dance, awkward and blocky movements. It’s all very human. Minho can dance, he just chooses to do the stanky leg to a Lana Del Rey song for his own Minho purposes. 

Minho looks at him- fond smile already present with sparkles in his eyes. Lovers Rock comes on. One of Jisung’s favorites. Not necessarily a slow dancing song by any means, but Minho pulls him closer anyways. Minhos hands come to rest securely at his waist. Jisung allows his arms to wrap around the other's neck. There isn’t much of a height difference, Minho maybe two or three inches taller. It’s enough that when Minho leans his head down, their foreheads meet. Jisung thinks he’s breathing heavy. Is he breathing heavy?

They sway with the beat of the song. It’s easy. Jisung knows it well. What isn't easy is breathing in all the carbon dioxide from Minho’s exhale. They’re so close, bodies flush together. Minho slides a hand to brush the warm skin under Jisung’s shirt. He shudders. He doesn’t know if it’s the chorus or a verse. All he knows is that his heart is beating along with Minho’s and there’s a searing heat at his side. 

Minho looks up at him for their favorite part. Jisung meets his gaze.

“Now- how many men have you kissed?” Minho mouths the words, smiling.

“Very few.” Jisung responds, fake fretting.

“You offered me a kiss. Why?” Something in his eyes changes. Jisung thinks he hallucinates Minho's eyes drifting down and back up.

“Such a foolish reason, I’m afraid. I just… wanted to kiss you” they move closer again, noses slotting against each other. His eyes flutter close. It’s a gentle plush of skin against his lips. A sigh, a melt down his surface, two hands at his waist grounding him in case he floats away. He feels like he might. His hands reach up to Minho’s scalp, feeling the softness there. 

Tugging closer, Jisung has to lean his head back more. Minho takes it to open him up. The air goes stagnant. Nothing freezes except for time itself. They exist in their own pocket, taking every second to breathe each other in. He’s kissing Minho. He’s kissing Minho. Minho is kissing him. An embarrassing sound escapes from Jisung’s mouth and suddenly the warmth is removed from his mouth. 

Did he do something wrong? He is quickly proven wrong as he feels lips at his neck, right at the softest part. Heat spreads across his chest. The pain of Minho’s teeth grazing and sucking makes his eyes flutter. His lips part. Something about the way he holds him there and marks down every inch is sacred. He whispers reverence onto Jisung’s skin and Jisung can only think sinful thoughts. 

Another sound followed by harder pressure. His shoulder will go numb. Jisung doesn’t really care. Minho exhales, coming back up. He looks him in the eyes, searching. Minho finds it in the tilt of Jisung’s head and a tiny nod. 

They meet each other again and it’s searing. Jisung can feel it evaporating from his skin like wet asphalt in the middle of June. He breathes Minho in. He’s gripping for a sense of reality. He’s going light headed. Breathe. He needs to breathe.

He pulls away, Minho chasing for more and looking at him with sad eyes when the loss seeps in. He pants. Minho pants too. Jisung wants to steal his air again.

“Jisung.” Minho’s eyes are soft around the edges. He looks at Jisung like something to be worshipped. 

“Minho.” Jisung is grinning, pressing their foreheads together. “What if they come home.” 

“Let them.”

“What if Lily wakes up.”

“She has Chan and Changbin for parents. She’ll be okay.”

Jisung giggles in response. It’s breathy and boyish, because Minho makes him feel like he’s nineteen again and realizing that Minho’s gaze carries more weight than anyone else’s.

Minho carries him up the stairs, Jisung’s legs wrapped around his waist. Minho’s thighs are strong enough to do so in the first place.

He doesn’t throw him on the bed. He lays him there, like something to be taken care of. Minho climbs over him, caging him in. Jisung doesn’t feel small this time. He feels like he’s glowing. He can feel the light shining through every crack in his surface. 

“You’re so beautiful Jisung.” Minho looks at him, just looks at him. Jisung can feel his cheeks redden at the receiving end of so much attention. “You’re even prettier when you blush.” Jisung can't make eye contact. Minho makes him. Takes his chin between his thumb and finger and gently makes him look him in the eyes. Jisung thinks he might implode.

“I-,” it’s a pathetic attempt to say anything under Minho's heavy gaze. “Kiss me again.” 

Minho does, hands at Jisung’s hips, grounding him into the mattress. Jisung’s hands wander helplessly up the other's chest, gripping at the fabric there.

“I need you. I want you.” One is much more significant than the other. Needing versus wanting. Requiring something for survival compared to choosing something over all other options. Jisung wants. He wants so much. He needs Minho, that’s a given. They have spent every waking moment of their lives together. Jisung doesn’t know what it’s like without him. But to want is so different. Jisung wants him. Over everything else, only him.

“Shit, do we have anything?” Between kisses. Jisung questions.

Minho pulls away. “Well if Chan really is the bastard he claims to be-“ Minho opens the nightstand drawer. Everything they would need is right there. “Mother fucker.” Minho huffs, laughing.

Jisung chooses to ignore it. All he knows is that they have the means to do what Jisung's wet dreams have been about since the eighth grade.

Minho slides his shirt off over his head and Jisung watches in awe at Minho straddling him, chest on bare display with the light creating a halo around his head. Warm hands are sliding up his side to take Jisung’s shirt off. He lets them. 

He feels almost insignificant in comparison to Minho’s body. But Minho doesn’t make him feel that way. He goes down to his stomach, nuzzling the soft skin there, kissing up Jisung’s torso until his face is hot. 

Jisung’s shorts come off and he’s already half hard. Minhos slide off next and he’s shifting down, wrapping Jisung’s legs around his waist. Jisung feels his chest tighten and nods when Minho’s eyes search for confirmation. 

A slick finger runs over his entrance. He inhales through his mouth, jaw going slack when a finger is pushed in. Slowly working in and out until he’s stretched enough for another. “More.” Jisung sighs. Minho complies. Jisung feels his stomach tighten. Another. 

“Fuck. Please, I’m too close.” Jisung moans. Minho whispers something against his skin. He’s left empty as Minho rolls a condom on. He whines, squirming for more pressure. 

Jisung’s breath gets caught in his throat. Minho pushes in slowly, further and further until he's fully submerged. Minho doubles over. Jisung pants. 

Minho meets him at the mouth as he starts moving, slowly at first. Gradual predictable movements to ease Jisung into it. The feeling is a bit blinding. His vision blacks in and out at the pleasure. He moans into Minho’s mouth, Minho swallowing every sound he pulls out of him.

The pace quickens is panting too much to kiss, so they press their foreheads together as Minho moves, eye contact enough to burn through a wall. He hits the spot and Jisung’s eyes roll back, babbling nonsense. 

Minho smirks. “Found it.” Bastard. He consistently hits the spot until Jisung can feel himself go fuzzy at the edges. Minho whispers promises onto his skin. Jisung can’t tell if he’s God or Jesus or the worship that they bring. Worship. Jisung feels like his body is being worshipped. Minho soaks up every bit he can. 

His core tightens. “Minho~” Jisung whimpers. Minho nuzzles into the crook of his neck.

“I know Sungie. Me too.” He sees stars and his brain goes black for a second. Jisung twitches as cum spills onto his stomach. Minho follows two seconds after, filling up the condom, his pace stuttering as he rides out is high, Jisung scrunching his eyes shut at the overstimulation. For an absurd moment Jisung wishes it wasn’t there, that Minho could have filled him up with warmth.

Minho begins to pull out but Jisung stops him. “Wait. Stay.” He doesn’t want to lose the feeling just yet. They lay there, Jisung’s hand embedded in Minho’s hair until it’s physically too gross not to clean up.

They step over their discarded clothes and sneak to the bathroom without anyone seeing, the rest of them still out at dinner. When the warm water runs over them, Jisung hugs Minho and doesn’t let go until he’s sucked his initial into Minho’s chest. He’s not one to share. 

They clean each other's hair and when Minho stares into his eyes for too long he cries. Jisung grabs his face and Minho holds it there by his wrist. “What’s wrong?” He’s gentle. He didn’t think Minho would be a crier. Is it wrong to say he looks really hot right now?

“I love you.” Oh. “I’ve loved you, I love you, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“Oh Minho.” Jisung kisses him, gentle and drawn out. “I love you. I always have.” Another kiss. Maybe one more. They’re a giggling mess by the time they stumble out of the bathroom in just towels.

Chan is standing there, arms crossed. He sucks his teeth. “You both have some explaining to do.”

Chan is kind enough to let them change first. Minho and Jisung sit on the foot of Chan’s bed, the eldest sitting in a chair facing them. “So?” He taps his foot impatiently.

“We fucked.” Jisung blurts. “And then confessed.” 

“…and?” Chan raises an eyebrow. What else does he want?

“And… we’re dating.” Jisung blurts out again.

“We are??” Minho questions.

“We had sex and then confessed in the shower together! What else would we be!?” Jisung whisper shouts, knowing the little one is upstairs. 

“You never told me that!” Minho is an idiot.

“Oh so you don’t wanna be my boyfriend?” Jisung chooses to be annoying, petulant.

“What? No?!” They start bickering in hushed voices and grabbing at each other. Chan’s smile grows and tears form in his eyes. 

“I’m so happy for you!” Chan cries. It’s enough to confuse the two of them out of fighting. He gets up and hugs them both. “This calls for a beach trip tomorrow!”

In the morning Lily comes in. Just like almost every morning since they got there. Jisung is starting to think she was lying about Hyunjin being her favorite Uncle. 

“Beach day!” She’s wearing Barbie sunglasses and has a bucket hat on. She smells like sunscreen. She doesn’t stay for long, going to wake up the others in the house as it seems. Minho rolls over and on top of Jisung, laughing when Jisung flails and throws his limbs in a flurry in order to breathe. 

He doesn’t get off but turns over, laying on top of Jisung. He pecks Jisung’s face and lips until he’s a giggling mess. Minho smiles and it’s the most beautiful thing Jisung has ever seen. 

Once they’re downstairs they wait for Seungmin and Felix to come down. Felix has a sleazy grin on his face and Seungmin comes down red as the sunburn Felix got from the lake, his hair a bit ruffled.

Felix and Jisung share a look. Jisung knows Seungmin got lucky that morning. When they join them at the table for breakfast Felix refuses the food. “Oh no, I’m full.” Seungmin chokes on his juice and it splatters across his face. 

Felix takes a napkin and wipes his face endearingly. “Oh honey, did you choke?” Seungmin grows a shade darker and slaps Felix’s chest, nervously glancing at Chan. Chan looks between the two of them, obviously not getting the memo. 

He just shrugs and Jisung and Minho giggle like middle school boys

The beach is a two hour drive. Hyunjin and Jeongin already drove out. They said they needed more tanning time. Jisung knows they probably just wanted a quicky in the bathroom because Jeongin made it unfortunately very apparent that he’s into such things. It’s like Chan didn’t raise him at all. 

When they get there they find where the other two have set up and build around them. Minho wears his useless sunglasses again. Seungmin and Felix run into the water holding hands after rubbing each other down with sunscreen. Felix also gave him a look then.

Jisung’s ear perk up at the smell of sugar as he spots the ice cream truck. He gives Minho a devilish smile and Minho rolls his eyes smiling. They walk over, Minho’s hand staying by Jisung’s waist even when they order. 

He gets strawberry and Minho gets pistachio because he’s an old man. It tastes like Minho. Minho leans over and whispers “tastes like you~” and Jisung smacks his chest though his thoughts are no better.

They sit down in the sand. And Jisung “applies sunscreen” onto Minho’s back. A big “J+M” with a heart around it painted in white on his back.

After a while of sitting there, ice cream melting and people laughing as they walk by, Minho says, “People are looking at me differently.”

“You think?” Jisung responds, unhelpful. “Whatever.” He leans his head on Minho’s shoulder. 

Eventually Jisung claims it’s too hot to sit in the sun. The two of them share a beach chair, the upper half propped up, Minho sitting up with Jisung laying his head on his chest, honey tanned skin shaded by the beach umbrella Chan so graciously brought. 

They're overlooking the water, sparkling blue like sapphires from the midday sun. 

Changbin and Chan swing Jeongin from his hands and feet into the water, Seungmin and Felix making sandcastles with Lily, her bright purple kids bathing suit from target that Changbin bought her covered in sand, and her wide cheesing smile exposing her dimples she got from Chan.

Jisung inhales the salt air through his nose, the ocean breeze blowing through his sea salt curled hair. 

“How did we get here, Minho?” He says, breaking the comfortable silence between the two of them, the background noise of their family laughing and playing uninterrupted.

Minho knows better than to respond immediately, letting Jisung continue, staying silent.

“I've loved you for as long as I can remember but I feel like I barely know you.” Something only people who have loved as long and hard as them would know. Knowing someone through and through without going through the basics first. Minho just hums in response, his eyes closed behind his round sunglasses, finally relaxed.

“You probably don't even know my nickname.” Jisung says, lazy smile spreading across his face.

Minho finally responds, his lazy smile matching Jisungs if not wider and eyes opening from beneath his sunglasses. “Trick question. You don't have one.”

Jisung moves his neck to rest his head on its side on Minho’s chest, opening his eyes, not particularly looking at him. “I didn't have one until you gave me one. Now I have so many I could write a book.” He says. Their voices are soft, intimate, quiet. Sungie. Sung. Ji. Jisungie.

“You could,” They meet in the middle, just like they always do, a kiss so domestic that his tooth might rot, short and sweet. “But they might figure it out after a while.” Some suspicious analyzer figuring out that all the characters are the same person.

Jisung smiles, one that reaches his eyes. He closes them again, on the edge of sleep. He doesn't think he could ever have been this relaxed without Minho. “Oh well, let them. It's my story to write anyway.”

He thinks again. “Hey, what was that thing you said about Chan before you fucking imprinted on me.” Jisung asks. Minho still has the marking on his chest but Jisung didn’t suck long enough to bruise fully. It’s just a light greenish pink outline of a J. Jisung has to avoid water or the makeup he used to cover Minho’s hickeys that did in fact bruise will wash off. 

“Well I kind of hoped you wouldn’t notice but I may or may not have given Chan a big talk about how I was in love with you and didn’t know what to do.” It makes sense. The red eyes before they went to the bonfire, Chan’s looks of pity. 

“The fucker bought everything we needed and put it in the nightstand and told me that when all of my feelings “inevitably spilled over” it would be there waiting.” Minho explains. Jisung is mortified at the thought of Chan buying that stuff for him, but also thankful. 

Jisung feels like he’s dreaming. He swears he was in this exact position in a dream five years ago, his cheek pressed up against a warm chest, his arm going numb as the bruises from Minho’s lips heal, his head rising and falling with Minho’s breath. 

He thinks he would give Minho everything from one edge of the observable universe to the other. Only because he doesn’t know what’s past that. Jisung doesn’t know what tomorrow holds, but he knows Minho holds tomorrow, and that’s all he needs.