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"Seriously Sterling... How much longer before your mother or Cyril takes a REAL close look at your operations account?" 23 year old Lincoln Loud asked with exasperation as he was entering an airport in Michigan with an older man in a suit. Lincoln himself dressed in a suit and having his hand close to his forehead about to facepalm.

"Could you take a chill pill Lincoln... Mother is too busy getting angry at every other little thing to pay any close attention to my account and what do you care?" said man almost casually dismissive of the concerns; Sterling Archer who looked more annoyed with him than anything.

"You mean besides the fact that your mother will realise that I was well aware of what you have been doing and putting down as 'expenses' along with covering it up... Add in the fact that since I'm not her son which means that I can't bank on the fact that she won't just throw me out in busy traffic after firing me..." Lincoln asked sarcastically with raised eyebrows before his expression turned concerned. "I am actually worried for you... I do consider you a friend as well as a mentor..." Lincoln admitted in a whisper and Sterling gave a big smirk.

"You should as I am the greatest secret agent in the world!" Sterling boasted and this time Lincoln really did facepalm.

"Remember our talks of not talking so loudly about being secret agents in public..." Lincoln asked in a whisper but Sterling waved it off.

"Remember; when we met when I saw something in you and took you under my wing to save you from suffering more than two weeks as a drone..." Sterling asked as Lincoln's eyes widened.

"Is that how you remember it?" Lincoln whispered in disbelief before shaking his head. "How I remember it is that I came into what I was assuming was a laundromat to see about a job opening since I just moved here... I was looking for someone and I saw you drag yourself in drunk off your ass; got through the entrance and followed... Got hired as a drone to keep me quiet and we did talk and I admitted how making my own secret agent films as a child... You managed to nag your mother into letting me be a trainee agent under your wing and to try and steer you away from the consequences of your own antics..." Lincoln replied in a whisper.

They then reached the conveyor belts for the luggage as Sterling then said "how or why we became student and master doesn't matter! You are the impressionable wide eyed rookie and I am the stone cold seasoned badass!" Lincoln shook his head.

"I am the only one besides your mother who calls you by your first name..." Lincoln reminded him in a whisper with a sigh as they got their luggage. Lincoln almost walked into a slightly younger woman and then said apologetically "Oh sorry..."

The woman blinked at him and asked "Lincoln Loud?" Lincoln's eyes widened at this stranger knowing who he was; well he did grow up in Michigan but it wasn't a small state from what he remembered...

"Oh man Lincoln... You know this girl?" Sterling asked with a wink and Lincoln was ready to facepalm again; the woman was pretty but... HIs cheeks reddened as she looked amused.

"Off course; I was a date of his to the Sadie Hawkins Dance!" the woman replied and Lincoln's eyes blinked in shock at this; the dance that his sisters picked dates for him and then made him take them all... He didn't recognise her... "Remember me... I was your sister Lucy's friend?" the woman asked as Lincoln's eyes widened and his mouth fell wide open...

"Haiku?" Lincoln asked in shock as the woman shrugged; she certainly looked unrecognisable...

"Yeah... Haven't gone by that nickname in a long time... Things kind of drifted apart from my friends in high school... Still loved gothic stuff but I gained other interests and being obsessed with darkness and hanging out in graveyards didn't really appeal to me anymore..." she answered and Lincoln took this in; he didn't know about this but things kind of drifted away from his sisters and what they were doing when he went to college in New York. "Rachel!" she introduced herself with a smile offering a hand and then Lincoln took it.

"So Lincoln... You gonna take her number before we have to leave? I could give you pointers with women?" Sterling asked and Lincoln wanted to kick Sterling there. Rachel seemed amused by Lincoln's reaction and how his friend was acting.

"Sorry Rachel but... Sterling is my boss' son and a kind of a mentor... He can be a lot..." Lincoln said apologetically but Rachel got out a notebook and then wrote out a number to give to him to his wide eyes. "So... Going somewhere or being back? Sterling and I are kind of on a business trip?" Lincoln decided to ask leaving out that it was an unofficial unauthorised one.

"Returning from visiting relatives. Hope to catch up with you!" Rachel said giving a wink to Lincoln leaving him red as she then waved to him and then left. Sterling laughed and patted the speechless Lincoln on the back.

"So... You have a secret past with women?" Sterling asked teasingly as Lincoln groaned and shook his head.

"Would rather not get advice from a man who was dumped months ago and is stll hung up on Lana despite acting as a drunken womaniser!" Lincoln retorted to him and he gave a glare to him. "Let's just go... Plus can you please take it easy this time? I would rather not have to move another unconscious hooker?" Lincoln then asked as he then pocketed the number and then left with Sterling.

"So... Ex-goth? Was she more like Wednesday Addams or Lydia from Beetlejuice?" Sterling asked as Lincoln just sighed.

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"...You just had to make the comment about that it not being the only needle that she has been injected with... We could have talked her down but now we are without a car and having to walk home in the middle of the city after your ex tried to shoot us down!" Lincoln snapped at Archer as they were walking home at night with Sterling grumbling.

"You are forgetting the fact that she took my wallet, my watch and my rug was in the car!" Sterling then told him and Lincoln rolled his eyes at Sterling's priorities. "Lana... She says that I am out of control but she is the one who just tried to shoot at us and put a tracking chip in Cyril!" Sterling then muttered as Lincoln looked at him.

"Well considering how things went between you two; she has trust issues but yeah; the tracking chip and the shooting was out of line. I remember when Lisa put tracking chips in my family and it was awful then! Still even with how paranoid Lana is; she and Cyril will be getting some while we will end up falling asleep tired with sore legs when we do get to our homes!" Lincoln then told him with a sigh as they continued walking. "...This happened because Lana is still sexually attracted to you while with Cyril... She would settle for anyone who seems decent and wouldn't pull what you have and doesn't have mother issues." Lincoln then said as Sterling then shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah... She would have seduced you if your mum was dead... What was that about her being attracted to me?" Sterling then asked as Lincoln jumped and shook her head.

"Forget about it... Wouldn't work as her having the same name as one of my sisters..." Lincoln then muttered as he felt something in his trousers and got out his phone. "Speaking of my Mum... She is asking how I have been..." Lincoln then groaned and then put to the phone to his ears. "Sorry Mum; can't talk right now as we are in the middle of a situation because a hooker we thought was dead was just tranquillised and she took our car. Has Dad gotten off his high horse and stopped mourning that four wheeled death trap?" Lincoln pretended to say as Sterling looked at him.

"You really said that?" Sterling asked as Lincoln resisted the urge to facepalm. "What is the deal with you or your old man anyway? I know you only really see your family on holidays... You hardly talk about your sisters and when you do bring up your dad; you sound angry..." Sterling asked curiously as Lincoln thought it over and then sighed.

"You know how you complain about your mother loving that dog more than you? Well it seemed that it went double so with Vanzilla; this old barely working monstrosity that was in the family ever since my great grandfather. A week after I got my driver's license and my old man gifted it to me... It was in a terrible state and kept breaking down even years back... I almost got into an accident because the brakes was acting up... My mum and my sisters who were still at the house had the good sense to be concerned about me but it took a while for HIM to even notice that I was almost in a crash. Too concerned about what happened to the car before my mum had to remind him... Only then did he say that he was glad that I was alright..." Lincoln muttered bitterly as Sterling's eyes widened.

"Oh shit..." Sterling muttered and Lincoln then nodded.

"Yeah... Had enough of that thing so I sold it for scrap and the old man was beyond upset; even asking how did I damage the breaks... Lana... Lana as in my sister was heartbroken about it as well and things were on the rocks... He still expected me to basically fill in at his restaurant last minute for no pay and I refused... Whenever we do meet up again; it's like he expects me to apologise for what happened to Vanzilla!" Lincoln muttered shaking his head.

"Just wow... You want to get to the bar and drink all our parent troubles and forget about what a disaster tonight was?" Sterling asked Lincoln who then stared at him.

"What the heck... Not like any of us has to be a designated driver!" Lincoln said in agreement as he got to phone to text his mother that he was doing fine.

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...Fuck; waking up in bed and finding out that Woodhouse had to pick us up from the bars before we passed out from the drinks is certainly a way to start the morning after all that happened yesterday..." Lincoln sighed as he was still a little out of there along with Sterling as they arrived at the spy agency; waving to the drones as Lana was talking to one of them.

"Hey Lincoln; did you get home alright? It certainly looks like Archer and you definitely ended last night the Archer way." Lana asked with a look of concern as Lincoln and Sterling both gave her glares.

"Thanks for the concern Lana; it's certainly welcome after you tried to shoot us down last night! No; I am pretty sure that that none of the bullets hit me but thanks for asking! I hope you and Cyril had a great time watching that porn and going at it!" Lincoln retorted sarcastically with his arms folded as Lana sighed as she came over.

"Look... I wasn't trying to hit you... I do worry about you... Having to babysit Archer and having him influence can't be that good for you!" Lana replied as Lincoln and Sterling rolled their eyes.

"For your information Lana; I am a real great mentor to him! Everything he knows about spying; he learned from the greatest secret agent ever!" Sterling yelled at Lana who folded up her arms to look at Sterling while Lincoln coughed.

"How to shoot and fight anyway; everything I know about the actual spying part of the job comes more from David Steele comics..." Lincoln muttered as Sterling didnt' seem to react much to Lincoln.

"Hah... Greatest secret agent... You only 'mentor' him because Mallory got the idea that someone should be with you because you can't be trusted on your own. It's just so happens that it's a young impressionable guy who is in danger of being corrupted by your influence." Lana retorted back to Sterling with a roll of her eyes and Lincoln got frustrated.

"If I wanted to be treated condescendingly; I would have hung out with my older sisters..." Lincoln muttered as he just went past Lana and got to his desk.

"Hey Lincoln; are you alright because you look to be in a state..." Cyril asked and a look from Lincoln as he sat down got him to gulp and leave.

Lincoln saw from his phone that he got a text from Rachel; he answered it and his eyes widened. "Sterling; come over here..." Lincoln muttered in shock as Sterling then indeed came over. "Guess what... Rachel texted me and said that she is moving to New York... There was an opening for the New York offices of the company she was working at and she is hoping we could hang out more from just video call dates and calls..." Lincoln explained as Sterling then smirked.

"Sterling Archer's number one student in the way of love!" Sterling bragged as Lincoln roleld his eyes but accepted the high five. Lana looked their way and Archer gloated "yeah... I helped Lincoln with his love life! His new girlfriend; we met her at the airport and they kind of knew eachother in his hometown but... He wouldn't have saw her again if it wasn't for me!"

"Matchmaker supreme..." Ray Gillette muttered with a roll off his eyes as Cyril came back over to Sterling and Lincoln.

"Lincoln... Maybe you and her could double date with me and Lana..." Cyril asked as Lincoln scoffed shaking his head.

"Thanks for the offer but no... Besides; want to get her more now since I think that I only barely knew her as Haiku." Lincoln then replied and Cyril went to walk away.

"Oh... One of your dates at that school dance?" Cyril asked and Lincoln nodded when...

"Hold on... How did you know about that Cyril?" Lincoln demanded with wide eyes as he looked around and the 'drones' looked uncomfortable.

"The same place that we found out that your sisters used to kick you out of your room and almost tore your house down over a dress..." muttered a drone pointing to the HR office...

Lincoln then ran to the office furiously yelling "PAM! I TOLD YOU PERSONAL CHILDHOOD STORIES WITH A PROMISE OF CONFIDENTIALITY! YOU WONDER WHY HARDLY ANYONE LIKES YOU? NO: TO HELL WITH THAT STUPID DOLPHIN! I HOPE YOU GET MORE THAN THREE STICHES THIS TIME!" Lana rushed over with Cyril and Sterling as they took in Lincoln grabbing the dolphin puppet to assault Pam Poovey with her yelling in pain.

"ARCHER! DO SOMETHING!" Lana yelled as she then went in and dragged Lincoln out as he was trying to wrestle his way out to get back to Pam. "Just calm down... Get some coffee and relax... We all know that Pam is a gossip blabber mouth and we all have to deal with it..." Lana said trying to calm Lincoln as he grumbled once he was seated back down at his desk.

After Lana and Cyril left to check on Pam; Sterling muttered "Lana told me to do something and didn't even give me enough time to get popcorn..." Lincoln snickered and put out a hand in a fist bump motion.

"Lana could be right about you being a bad influence but right now; I don't care..." Lincoln told him as Sterling returned the fist bump as Mallory Archer came into the area.

"What is that screaming..." Mallory yelled as she then looked into the HR office after hearing the motion. She then angrily rushed in demanding "Pam; are you bleeding on my carpet again!"

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Lincoln was nervously looking at Rachel at the other side of the table they were seated at in a restaurant; Rachel had now moved here and this was their first full date in person. Lincoln glanced to the restaurant front window with Sterling there giving two supportive thumbs up. Lincoln gave a nod to him as he looked back at Rachel; "This was a surprise. Our paths to converge once more. I like you Lincoln." Rachel recited her haiku to Lincoln who looked at her. "What do you think? Not my best work but..." Rachel asked as Lincoln shook his head.

"No! That was good! I couldn't imagine trying to come up with a haiku myself..." Lincoln retorted and Rachel just gave a small smile as they continued eating. Rachel then gave a look directed at the restaurant window and Lincoln turned to spot Sterling nursing his jaw; "What happened this time Sterling?" Lincoln muttered with a resigned roll of his eyes.

"Notice someone punching him angrily. Does he always get into trouble?" Rachel asked as Lincoln laughed humourlessly.

"Why his mother and our boss basically allowed me to join the work force as basically his minder. He can't help himself and just bluntly says what's on his stupid mind... But he is basically just a sad product of his childhood being raised by his mother: the Wicked Bitch of the West." Lincoln muttered with a shake of his head as she took it in. "When he's not being an idiotic jerk... He can be caring at times and cool most of the time... Nights out together are never boring and if it wasn't for him; I would never have seen the Smokey and the Bandit movies." Lincoln then said as Rachel then smiled.

"He does sound... Interesting. I am now imagining that if I was as fully invested in the gothic as I was when I was a kid; I would be thinking about what a dark demented sad soul he must have inside that confident demeanour." Rachel then said as Lincoln could see that but his phone went off.

Lincoln looked frustrated and apologetic; "Sorry Rachel... The Wicked Bitch of the West just called us in to work despite that we are off the clock and it's not even the first time this has happened..." Lincoln then said with a sigh as Rachel then gave him a smile.

"Don't worry; plenty of other opportunities to spend time together like this now that I live here." Rachel assured him and Lincoln then gave a smile as he took another bite off his meal, leaving money for the meal and waved her goodbye.

Lincoln met up with Sterling as they walked to the headquarters together; "What happened this time Sterling?" Lincoln asked as Sterling was groaning while nursing his jaw.

"A sweet blond asked what I was doing when she stopped in front her her; she got offended when I thought that she was offering her services as a prostitute. She then told me that she was married and a working business woman and asked me if she looked like she would jeopardise her career and her marriage by working on the streets?" Sterling answered as Lincoln rolled his eyes.

He then answered "let me guess; you chose the wrong answer?"

"As I can see that you two are unhappy about being called here at this time but I have gotten the intel that makes this the best time to put into motion this mission that I have been setting up for some time." Malory Archer said to the annoyed looking Sterling and Lincoln in her office showing on the monitor a picture of a magazine cover with a turtleneck wearing man with glasses. "Aaron Trusk; noted billionaire head of the Alpha Corp tech empire. Generates billions from the geniuses who work for him but takes the credit for all of their achievements." Malory explained as Lincoln scoffed and Malory eyed him.

"So... Just like the other billionaires?" Lincoln asked rhetorically as Sterling shook his head.

"Waste of a turtleneck..." Sterling muttered as Malory fake coughed.

"Trusk as a side business has military systems created that he sells to the US as well as the Russians and several other countries. Including those at war with eachother." Malory explained as she then had the monitor showed a photo of a tower. "He is now at this building that he has purchased to be his new headquarters and in his office; there will be access to his company's entire systems which includes the legitimate as well as the illegimate. You are to download everything onto this drive and then insert this drive to insert a virus that will destroy everything there." Malory explained showing off the drives as Lincoln blinked.

"We get a copy to use as evidence against the company... Or for your own uses?" Lincoln asked as Malory glared at him.

"That's for me to know and you to shut up about! We are taking down a war profiteer here! Use extreme caution if you choose to execute him as he will be with new executives that he has invited into his inner circle as well as some representatives of our own government who might ask questions if you are even spotted in their presence!" Malory warned them fiercely as they then nodded and left.

"I guess taking down a scumbag like this warrants being dragged away from my date..." Lincoln muttered under his breath as Malory gave him a look.

Lincoln and Sterling were in their tactical turtlenecks and managed to sneak into the main office of Trusk's building. They then used a device that connected them to the systems at headquarters so the Drones (who were quite unhappy to be dragged away from their off work time themselves) could help with hacking it. Lincoln carefully was on watch by the door as Sterling scoffed at the computers.

"Lincoln... You would never believe it... I am looking at security and Trusk has that blond that slapped me with him... He is totally eyeing her and looking over her shoulder to her ass... I don't think he cares that she's married..." Sterling then said as Lincoln then carefully went to him.

"Wow Sterling... She definitely is in a bad situation... Now just focus on downloading everything onto the drive..." Lincoln replied and Sterling then entered a drive and Lincoln then went ot look at the security footage and his eyes widened at the footage on the camera. "Oh my... Sterling... That blond... THAT'S MY SISTER LORI!" Lincoln screamed out loud as Sterling's eyes widened.

"Oh my... Really... Sorry Lincoln buddy... If I knew... I would never have came onto her or assumed she was a hooker... Really; putting the moves on a buddy's spouse like that..." Sterling said apologetically as Lincoln blinked.

"You have put the moves on a fellow agent's spouse at his own funeral before..." Lincoln retorted as they saw that Trusk had security guards come up to him and tell him something. He then left with his guards.

Lincoln looked suspicious at the footage but then the monitor said that the system was totally deleted; "Sterling... Did you get the drives mixed up?" Lincoln asked incredulously with a facepalm as Sterling then took it out and looked at them both.

"Mother gave us identical ones... Shit... She is so gonna yell at us..." Sterling then groaned as Lincoln thought quickly and then yanked the other drive out and then placed them both on the floor and stomped them into pieces.

"We were escaping and the drives were destroyed in the scuffle... That's our story..." Lincoln then told him as Sterling then blinked and then nodded as they saw the guards and Trusk running to the office as Sterling armed himself.

"So... Want to shoot up the creep who was eyeing up your sister before we get out of here?" Sterling asked as Lincoln grinned and got out his own guns and got ready as the doors barged open.

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Lori Santiago thought that this was her big break; she had concerns when the company that she had been working for years at had been acquired by Alpha Corp, however Aaron Trusk himself came to the headquarters in Great Lakes City. He was very impressed with her work and offered her a spot as Executive Vice President of the company! Plus her second youngest sister Lisa was doing a project for them back by the US government; hoping to score an internship and possible job so she would help her on that case.

She and her husband Bobby went on a flight to New York to hash out the deals and she would help with a new big conference with some important people in the tech empire along with members of the US government. After it was done; her old work building would become the new local subsidiary headquarters with her in charge; this was literally a dream come true for her!

She and Bobby went to New York with her in-laws taking after their kids and things were going well (except for an incident with a jerk that she set straight) but things went wrong in the middle of the whole thing... The security had came to Mr Trusk to warn him about something and he had to be excused.

She and the others waited until more security screamed that Mr Trusk and the security with him were found murdered in his office; whoever was responsible must have escaped through a hole in the window! It was a lot to take in and she was overwhelmed; she certainly was in no state to hear that a virus was placed into the company's systems. A virus that destroyed the entire company's system and it spread to all the subsidiaries and considering how much Alpha had owned...

Watching a horror movie would be less traumatising for any stockholder in Alpha or their subsidiaries than checking the stock online; buying a piece of gum from the Mercado back home would be a more worthwhile investment than buying Alpha stock right now.

So now she has to think of what to do for work now when they get home and she sat down on the bed in their suite at the Tuntmore Towers Hotel on the phone with her mother. "I can only imagine how much stress you are going through right now Honey. Lisa is not taking it well herself; this virus managed to spread right into her personal systems and destroyed it beyond repair. She was forced to do a system reboot.." Rita told Lori and Lori winced in response. She didn't want to think of how the genius was taking THAT...

"...Please give Lisa my regards Mum and I'm going to have to see about any other company back in Great Lakes will take me since any record of me at my old company is now kaput. Bobby and I still have the expense account so we are trying to make sure that this trip wasn't a total bust. We want to see if we can track down Lincoln." Lori then said taking a deep sigh.

"Please tell him that we all miss him! Even if... Some hide it well..." Rita replied with a sigh as Lori then sighed as well. "The other day I texted him asking how he was and he just said that he was 'doing fine' as always. I saw on his social media pictures he took with a woman and they looked happy and I was wondering 'Is my son distant from me forever because my husband can't help but it make seem like he loved that van more than him'?" Rita then said as Lori took this in and sighed.

"Believe me Mum; I know how you feel... I am probably at the point that if Dad is still stubborn next Christmas then I will just have to make him apologise! Honestly he and Lana are so annoying about this issue. Along with Lynn still being salty about having screwed up her chances of being a pro..." Lori then said as they then said they loved eachother and ended the calls. "That stupid van... May it continue to rot in whatever Hell there is for vehicles..." muttered Lori remembering that at the time of that incident; she didn't check her messages as she was busy. However it almost gave her a heart attack learning that her only brother was almost in a car accident that could have injured or done worst to him because of the faulty breaks... The aftermath of the incident...

Bobby came into the room and put his arm around her and Lori sighed while giving a small smile; Lori then thought of something to put her minds off it. "Apparently Lincoln has been seeing someone here..." Lori muttered as she went to his social media and found pictures of him posing outside a restaurant with a nice looking woman. Lori blinked as she looked at the time stamp and date; "No way... He was there at that time..." Lori muttered as Bobby looked confused.

"Lori; something the matter? Is it because of the date there..." Bobby asked concerned as he was looking at the photo himself. Lori wondered about telling him the truth before sighing.

"Around the time listed; I found this guy looking at the restaurant window... I got out of the car ask him what was going on and... You won't believe this... He thought that I was a prostitute offering services!" Lori explained finding the words as Bobby's eyes widened at that.

"He did... Did he do..." Bobby asked outraged but Lori shook her head.

"No... I set him straight that I was a married woman but do you know what he did do when I asked him if I looked like someone who would jeopardise everything by doing those services? As if he was a question; he said 'yes'!" Lori replied sounding angry and in disbelief as Bobby had his mouth wide open. "I gave him what for..." Lori finished her explanation as Bobby took her hand.

"Sorry about having to deal with that jerk Lori..." Bobby told her soothingly as Lori smiled but shook her head.

"Thank you but don't worry about it... I don't want to waste any more brain space on him... Just want to see if I can find out the best place to meet up with Lincoln to surprise him... He will probably laugh at the fact that he is more financially secure and stable in his laundromat job than I am right now..." Lori assured him and finished it off with her joke that wasn't too off the mark.

Bobby then said "I wonder what big city adventures Lincoln has been up to since he moved to the big apple..."

"...We killed the head of a tech empire worth billions of dollars and only days later; covered up the death of of a UN suit... What does that say about my life that it still feels like a normal week for me now?" Lincoln asked at the agency headquarters at his desk with Sterling standing next to him; speaking of the failed dinner party with now deceased UN representative Torvald Utne which was only the previous night.

"It means that your life is now filled of awesomeness!" Sterling then replied as Lincoln rolled his eyes but looked amused.

Chapter Text

Arriving back at the agency headquarters after a certain successful honeypot mission; Lincoln and Sterling were in Malory's office as Lincoln was looking away with his arms folded while Sterling looked grossed out at his mother. "What is all this about? Did you get the tape or what?" Malory demanded as Lincoln sighed as he tried to force himself to look her way.

"The disc is destroyed and we survived but Castro tried to have us killed with a duo of assassins who were serving an regime that wants to kill all people like them so... Woodhouse had to be rescued after the fact and your son is pretending that he may really like the target that you sent him after if you know what I mean!" Lincoln then said with a wink to Sterling who shook his head.

"Hey! I don't have a crush on Ramon despite being such a man... Still; thanks for being the perfect wingman Lincoln!" Sterling then told him as Lincoln smiled at his way.

"You were actually a pretty good one before helping me out with Rachel!" Lincoln then said as Sterling smirked.

"Actually... I was the best!" Sterling told him and Malory faked coughed returning their attention though Lincoln was looking at the desk. "Lincoln is kind of like this because Ramon told us what was on that tape and... GOD! The mental image is making my mind vomit so thanks for that Mother!" Sterling explained and Malory looked uncomfortable.

"Even worse when I imagined despite my best efforts; what my parents were up to in that pool that got us kicked out of a resort when I was a kid..." Lincoln groaned and Malfoy then humphed and then stomped her foot.

"Well; if being in my own presence triggers disgusting mental images then you can just get out of my office now!" Malory then yelled at them as they then rushed out.

"God... Good thing that we completed Bang Marry Kill before we got this mission... I don't' think we could have done it..." Sterling then told Lincoln who then gave a thumbs up.

"Amen... Though it wasn't that hard... Said 'Kill' to everyone except for 'Lana' with a 'Bang'..." Lincoln replied though he never thought that he could stand being married to Lana; as terribly as Sterling treated her, she had her own flaws... "What... WHAT IS THIS?" Lincoln demanded seeing a box on his desk and then rushed to it.

"Sorry Lincoln; just storing a box of my dad's stuff here as I wanted to continue some of his research and they were all mixed up..."Doctor Krieger said as Lincoln looked at a letter on top of the box written in German and it was signed 'Josef'. Krieger snatched it and the box away before running off.

"I don't know and I don't want to know..." Lincoln muttered as he then got a text from his phone from Rachel: 'I miss you Lincoln, despite how little time passed, you're my other half.' "I don't know how I could do haikus like she can..." Lincoln whispered with a smile as Sterling scoffed coming towards him.

"I don't get haikus... They are like poems but they aren't because they don't rhyme and they are short... What is the point?" Sterling asked as Lincoln rolled his eyes with a smile as Lana looked at him.

"...Things are just fine Lana... No; we are not interested in double dating with you and the guy you went with because he is pretty much spineless and doesn't have mummy issues... Rachel and I are having a good time watching Dean Martin's the Wrecking Crew and I am suggesting that we do a drinking game that Sterling and I invented where we take a drink when something awesome happens in a spy movie... We barely made it through Goldfinger and Skyfall..." Lincoln was telling Lana annoyed on the phone as he was standing away from his couch in his apartment while Rachel was on the couch watching the movie. They were in the apartment just below the penthouse where Sterling stayed.

"Are you sure that involving Archer in your love life whether by using games you came up with together or using his advice is in any way a good idea?" Lana asked him and Lincoln then grunted as he just hung up on her.

"Stupid annoying Lana... I can't even say she is the most annoying at the office as she is easily topped by the receptionist, the HR blabbermouth and the Wicked Bitch of the West!" muttered Lincoln as there was a knock on the door. He then groaned and opened the door demanding "what the hell do you want? I paid my rent and if you are trying to sell me stuff or get me into a religion then I can tell you where you can shove your..."

Lincoln's rant stopped as he actually took in the wide eyed married couple at the door; "Lori... Bobby... I am so sorry... Please come in..." Lincoln said sheepishly as they went into the apartment and looked around. "How is the family back home? The Kids?" Lincoln asked as they managed to recover.

"Going on great and the familia in the Casita are looking after them. We were here on a business trip and we thought that we could come and see how the big city life is going for you!" Bobby then said as Rachel paused the TV and went up to them.

"Lori; how good is it to see you again!" Rachel then greeted them and Lori blinked in confusion with Lincoln and Rachel sighing in amusement. "I am Rachel; you might remember me as Lucy's friend Haiku?" Rachel then clarified and Lori's face then morphed in shock at this and Lincoln snickered.

"My reaction as well..." Lincoln then said as he then offered the couch for them all to sit down. "So how is your trip so far?" Lincoln asked but then Lori's face fell but she tried to force a shrug. Lincoln blinked guiltily and then thought "off course... Krieger's virus pretty much destroyed everything that Alpha owned... Lori is probably unsure about how unemployed she would have to be... She may not even realise how much of a scummy creep her boss was..."

"Don't worry about that Lincoln..." Lori said changing the subject as Lincoln frowned. "Mum did ask me to check up on you. You seemed to be doing well and with a nice woman." Lori then said putting on a smile as Lincoln just gave a nod.

"I have been telling her that I have been doing fine..." Lincoln then said as Lori sighed as he raised his eyebrow. Rachel frowned and Bobby cleared his breath.

"Lincoln bro... We know what is going on and neither of us blame you... I know how awkward things are when we are all gathered together for holidays with how stubborn your dad is..." Bobby then said as Lincoln then sighed back folding up his arms.

"Not only Dad but Lana is sore about Vanzilla as well... Lynn refuses to stop moaning about how she killed her own aspirations of sports stardom and Lola is bitter about not finding something new after she got too old for pageants and her star waned... Plus everyone else; I have no problems and it's just that we are moving on with our lives... I am doing fine and so is everyone else... For the most part..." Lincoln then said as the door opened.

"Sorry Lincoln; I know that I shouldn't barge into your date but I got locked out of my penthouse... There was a hole in my suit and you would think that for how much I paid for..." Sterling's voice said as Lincoln facepalmed as Lori's eyes widened as she took in Sterling.

"You had better go Rachel... Sorry but... this will get ugly..." Lincoln whispered to Rachel apologetically.

Chapter Text

Lincoln managed to get get Rachel out of the door before Lori really angrily laid it onto Sterling. Lincoln and Bobby having to poor her away; "Hon... What is going on? Do you know this guy?" Bobby asked frantically as Lori glared hatefully at Sterling.

"This is the jerk that I told you about..." Lori explained and Bobby's eyes widened as he glanced at Sterling. Lincoln and Bobby let go of Lori as she looked at Lincoln and asked "how do you know this guy Lincoln?"

"We work together and are super bros! That other night; I was being my awesome wingman self while Lincoln and his new girlfriend were in that restaurant! You should be thanking me for putting him under my wing and if it wasn't for me; he would never have been reunited with Rachel so you're welcome!" Sterling retorted as Lincoln facepalmed and then went in front of Sterling to try and stave off any ideas of Lori launching herself at him again.

"He is the boss' son and I was made to watch over him. Trust me Lori; Sterling can be... A lot but he isn't all bad... Even if he acts like an idiot most of the time..." Lincoln said trying to calm Lori down as Sterling looked indignant.

"Did your friend tell you that he thought that I was prostitute when I simply asked what he was doing and then said yes if I looked like someone who would jeopardise my marriage by being one?" Lori asked with her arms folded as Lincoln sighed.

"Yes and believe me; it's far from the only similar story and Sterling gets himself into trouble a lot so it was expected... I am sorry that your first impression of him was him at his usual..." Lincoln then said apologetically as Sterling scoffed.

"I get out of trouble by being awesome and it's not like you are Ms Perfect... Lincoln told me about how you were a slave driver when he was a kid and when you and your husband was dating... You totally had him pegged and wrapped around your finger... If I knew that it was you when you rounded on me; I wouldn't even think of... OW!" Sterling yelled as Lincoln then stomped onto his foot as Lori glared at him with Bobby looked uncomfortable.

"If I have to knock you out for your own good so you don't shove your foot so much further down your mouth then I will..." Lincoln warned Sterling in a whisper as he was holding onto his foot and he then groaned as his phone was calling. He then answered it yelling "Lana; could you call back as this isn't the best time... I am yelling as I am trying to diffuse a situation that Sterling escalated... I don't need your remarks about him right now so just focus on that that guy that you are banging because he is a loser!"

Lincoln then finished it as Lori and Bobby were open mouthed while Sterling continued yelling; "Has Lana been insulting you behind our backs... Is she seeing someone... Put that aside but... Is she being a bigger jerk about Vanzilla than even Dad is?" Lori asked in disbelief as Lincoln sighed while facepalming.

"No Lori... This is a different Lana... She and Sterling used to date and we work together... There is a whole thing..." Lincoln explained and their shock went away. "Look... I am sorry about how this went down... If you want then we can meet up later..." Lincoln asked as Lori slowly nodded along with Bobby.

"Watch yourself with your friend there Lincoln... Nice getting to see you again..." Lori then said as Lincoln waved to them and they waved back.

"Same from me bro!" Bobby then said as they then left and Lincoln shook his head.

"Well that was something..." Lincoln muttered as Sterling scoffed.

"Sorry that it went down... I will stay away from your sister and let you have this family thing between you all..." Sterling then stated as Lincoln looked grateful.

"Thanks Sterling... Now let me help you get back into your penthouse..." Lincoln then said as Sterling put his foot down.

"Thanks Lincoln and you can't say that it was I who ruined your date... You know Lana said that I would likely ruin things between you and Rachel but no; it was your sister that ruined the date!" Sterling then said pleased with himself as Lincoln rolled his eyes.