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Liu Mingyan meets Ning Yingying for the first time at a meeting for head disciples, and doesn't make much of it.
Rumors have been circulating around Cang Qiong; Ning Yingying is the last remnant of Yue Qingyuan's favoritism. Ning Yingying had been Shen Qingqiu's favorite, and so when the choice of head disciple had been raised, the sect leader had given the role to her. Liu Qingge is upset about this, but Liu Mingyan doesn't particularly care. Ning Yingying seems competent enough, and she's obviously happy with her place, so why does it matter if she achieved the position through something less than pure merit?
Ning Yingying seems unsteady on her feet, every bit a girl who didn't have time to finish grieving before she was forced into a position of power. There is an underlying sense of pride and satisfaction to her attitude, but Liu Mingyan doesn't linger on it. The fuss dies down rather quickly, anyways. Ning Yingying is inoffensive, and the greater chunk of the sect pities her for being Shen Qingqiu's favorite rather than envies her, and so the world moves on. Liu Mingyan exchanges small talk on the occasions when the head disciples get together, and that is the extent of their relationship.
This changes when demons attack the peaks.
Ning Yingying forces Sha Hualing to agree to three matches- and no more! Liu Mingyan, while far from an expert on diplomacy, understands the skill for what it is. Some brat fights a match, and then Liu Mingyan fights and match, and then Ning Yingying fights a match-
She really is beautiful, when she fights.
After that, something in their dynamic shifts. Liu Mingyan forges a bond in the fires of adversity and also in the fires of greatly respecting and admiring her martial sister's fighting skills for platonic reasons, and so more often than not, when Liu Mingyan ventures off of Xian Shu it's in search of Ning Yingying.
A year after that, Yue Qingyuan finally starts to get concerned with how long Liu Qingge has spent in the Ling Xi Caves. He goes looking for him, and comes out with a corpse. A qi deviation, Mu Qingfang says after examining the body.
There's really no one to blame but her stupid brother. Still. Liu Mingyan can't just let him die. More than he's already dead, she means. She grabs Shui Se and flies to Bai Zhan and beats up all of her brother's stupid disciples until it's clear who the new head of the peak is. It would have been easier if someone had killed Liu Qingge. Then, at least, she would have had a direction to follow from there. She selfishly wishes that had been the case.
Qi Qingqi comes asking after her a few times, but Liu Mingyan refuses to return to her old position as head disciple on her peak. She needs to be head disciple of Bai Zhan right now. With Liu Qingge dead, she really can't make herself care about anything else.
This only drives her and Ning Yingying closer to each other; they are the only people in the world who understand each other's odd positioning. Half peak lord, half head disciple. They hover awkwardly between the two roles, supporting each other as they wade into their duties together. And- Ning Yingying's weird dog is there too.
His name is Luo Binghe. Liu Mingyan doesn't understand what Ning Yingying sees in him at all. He pants after her like a puppy and is generally annoying and useless.
"Don't be mean," Ning Yingying says, smothering a giggle. "He's cute and he cooks well! Plus he's super diligent. And anyways, he's my disciple, so I'll treat him how I please."
"Your disciple my ass," Liu Mingyan grumbles. "No one here calls you shizun. You're only half a peak lord."
Ning Yingying flicks open her fan. It's a really odd scene, no doubt; both of them are walking around in shoes too big for them, adopting mannerisms they don't fully understand.
"I'm going to visit that brothel tonight," Ning Yingying says.
Liu Mingyan blinks. "I don't... that's not something you have to do. To be a good peak lord."
"Mn," Ning Yingying agrees, eyeing Liu Mingyan. "If you want to keep copying your brother, you can come yelling for me sometime in the morning and break down the doors."
"Seems like a lot of work just to copy your shizun," Liu Mingyan obverses. "Why not stick to the parts of him that you liked?"
"I'm not copying him because I liked him," Ning Yingying wrinkles her nose. "Really, I'm not copying him at all. I mean, I hold my fans in a different way, right?"
It's true. Shen Qingqiu, on the few occasions that Liu Mingyan had seen him, used his fan like a shield. It was something that made his feelings harder to parse, that revealed nothing except for the fact that there was something that he didn't want others to see. Ning Yingying uses her fans to enhance her expressions. She only ever pulls them up when it's already obvious what's on her face, and uses them to turn an already gleeful smile into something perfect by forcing other people to fill in the gaps with their imaginations.
"Why are you visiting the brothel, then?" Liu Mingyan asks.
"For sex," Ning Yingying says. And then: "I've already gone a couple of times, to be honest. Just to see if I'd like it. I was very stealthy about it. Now, I've decided I want that to be a part of my reputation. And also I'm tired of having to sneak around about it. It's my peak. Shouldn't I do what I want? What's so bad about sex, anyways?"
Liu Mingyan understands Ning Yingying better than anyone else, because she is the person whose lived experiences most closely align with her own in the entire world. But also: sometimes she does not understand her at all.
Sometimes she doesn't understand herself at all, either. Something unpleasant burns in her chest at the thought of Ning Yingying- what? How does sex between two women work? Liu Mingyan doesn't know, but she really doesn't like the idea of it happening when Ning Yingying is involved.
"I'll come with you," Liu Mingyan says, for reasons she is not entirely sure of. It still feels like the right answer. Ning Yingying's smile curls up, and she raises her fan to cover it, leaving Liu Mingyan certain of its presence but not its shape.
Ning Yingying never invites Luo Binghe to come with her to any brothels, not even in any weird round-about ways. Liu Mingyan preens over it.
Liu Mingyan knows that she is special to Ning Yingying, although sometimes she can't tell if it's special in a good way or a bad way. When they go on night hunts together, Liu Mingyan can take care of herself. Ning Yingying likes taking care of people. Liu Mingyan, even when she can't take care of herself, can't let Ning Yingying take care of her. They're... incompatible, in some ways.
"But I don't mind, really," Ning Yingying assures her. "Honestly, truly. It's different when it's you."
Liu Mingyan sits with the ambiguity of that statement for a minute, turning it over in her head. "Because I'm a woman?"
Ning Yingying bursts out laughing. "Because you know that it's your fault, Liu Mingyan! Or, well, you know that I can take care of people. And honestly, I'd love to pamper you, but it's not like I'm offended if you're a little scared. If anything, I'm kind of flattered."
Liu Mingyan considers this for a moment. "Luo Binghe looks at you like you're stupid sometimes."
"Well, we can't all be perfect," Ning Yingying says, fanning herself a little. "Besides, he likes being doted on too much for me to dislike him. I'm greedy like that."
What would Ning Yingying like more? A companion who understands what she wants but cannot give it to her, or a companion who does not understand what she wants but gives it to her anyways? And why does Liu Mingyan care about who comes out on top of that equation so much anyways? She grunts, and tries to ignore it.
...tries to. She really does find herself butting heads with Ning Yingying's puppy too often. It's his fault half the time, but, uh... only half of it. Luckily, Ning Yingying only ever seems amused by them, but still-! It's embarrassing for someone who's half peak lord and half head disciple to clash so regularly with someone who's just a regular disciple.
"It was embarrassing of Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge to clash so regularly when they were supposed to be beloved martial brothers," Ning Yingying says. Liu Mingyan disregards this advice as bad and irrelevant, because that's what it is.
When the time comes around, Yue Qingyuan sends both of them (and also Ning Yingying's puppy, but who cares about him) to the Immortal Alliance Conference. "Neither of you are actually peak lords, you know," he says, playing at something like sternness. It comes off oddly, because Yue Qingyuan has only been half of a person ever since Shen Qingqiu died, and because he was never good at being strict to begin with. "You should take this opportunity to make a real impression on people outside of the sect."
It's what Liu Mingyan was planning on doing. Ning Yingying's puppy is also here, for some unfortunate reason, but she doesn't pay him much mind.
"We should team up," Liu Mingyan says. "We could earn a lot of point together."
"Mn," Ning Yingying says, distracted. Her puppy lingers behind her, pouting because she isn't looking at him either.
"...Ning Yingying," says Liu Mingyan. "Hey. Pay attention to me."
"Sorry," Ning Yingying says, not sorry. "I was just thinking... I miss my Shizun a lot. And you miss your brother a lot."
"Of course." It slips off Liu Mingyan's tongue without her even having to think about it, it's so obviously true.
Ning Yingying smiles, and then brings up her fan. "Still, I'm really glad he's dead sometimes. They're dead. It's a lot easier to love someone who's not present."
Liu Mingyan doesn't get to respond to that very odd statement because the conference begins.
Halfway through, it goes wrong. Liu Mingyan finds herself separated from Ning Yingying and her puppy, stuck protecting some fuck-ass Huan Hua Palace brats. She manages to peel off from them far too late, and runs after where she knows Ning Yingying is. She's wrestling Luo BInghe into the ground, trying to suppress the demonic qi pouring out of him.
"Ning Yingying!" Liu Mingyan shouts, and draws Shui Se.
"Stop!" Ning Yingying yells back. "It's not his fault! I can fix this! I can fix him! There's a part of him that's rotting, that needs cutting out, but that doesn't mean we have to throw away all of him!"
Liu Mingyan pauses. She can never tell whether Ning Yingying's affection for Luo Binghe is sincere, or if she just likes being relied on, or if there difference between the two things matters. Right now, she doesn't know if letting Ning Yingying seal away the demonic cultivation to allow Luo Binghe to stay with the sect is what's right. She knows what she wants, almost, but she can't tell-
"The sect leaders broke in to save us," Liu Mingyan says, although she can't tell if she means to or not, or if it's a good thing to say or not. "So they'll be here any moment, and they'll definitely see him."
Ning Yingying locks eyes with Liu Mingyan, desperate and resigned. "I understand."
Then, like it's a very easy decision to make, she pulls herself and Luo Binghe backwards off of the cliff, and the two of them plummet through a crack between worlds, and Liu Mingyan understand very clearly, for the first time in her life, that she is in love with Ning Yingying, and that Ning Yingying has chosen Luo Binghe over her.