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“Are you sure that would be a good idea?” Izuku asks, not knowing what to think. All the moisture in his throat seems to retract back into his body and start building up in his palms.
“I thought out of everybody, you would understand the importance of teaching young future heroes about the true dangers that lie before them.” Principle Nezu explains. Izuku’s thoughts begin spiraling. He’s never seen any footage from the war and now he’s being asked to watch it for the first time in front of his students. Izuku knew it was wrong to have avoided it for so long, but he just couldn’t bring himself to rip the band-aid off. Anytime he got close, he managed to find a distraction.
“Mr. Midoriya, should I ask another teacher to do this instead?” Nezu asks seriously, pulling Izuku out of his thoughts.
“No! I can do it!” Right? Izuku asks himself. Surely it’s been long enough now, he can do this. He can.
“Wonderful! You’ll show them first thing today then!” Nezu begins digging through his desk and pulls out a CD. “Off you go!” He exclaims, shoving the disk into Izuku's hands.
Izuku’s heart drops. Today? The first day? He stumbles out of Nezu’s office, unable to pry his eyes away from the paper wrapped CD. He nearly couldn’t believe it. The worst moments of his life, right there on a little piece of plastic and metal. He swallows down a dry gulp before entering his classroom, shuffling things around anxiously.
When students start flooding into the classroom, Izuku begins introductions. He draws them out as long as possible, procrastinating. Finally, when silence begins sweeping through, he accepts what’s about to happen. Please, he thinks to himself, not even sure what he’s asking for. After quick explanation and a bit of fumbling with the CD player, he presses play.
He’s thought about this moment a lot over the past 8 years, he thought he wouldn’t be able to keep his eyes on the screen for longer than 3 seconds. As it turns out, he can’t seem to look away. Pain is splattered all throughout the LED’s and somehow, he forgot that it wouldn’t be from his own perspective. For the first time, he’s seeing what everyone else went through.
Here it is, the dreaded moment. At this point, Izuku has completely forgotten he’s teaching a class. It’s horrible. It’s disgusting. He watches Katsuki get struck straight through his chest, watches how he tumbles lifelessly into the ground. His roommate, his best friend, his person. Suddenly, Izuku feels like he can’t breathe. He didn’t even realize when tears started welling up in his eyes. He should’ve been there. The sheer amount of blood showing on the screen is nauseating and his body aches. It’s like he’s there all over again.
“Mr. Midoriya?” He faintly hears a student behind him. Without turning around, Izuku snaps into action, pausing the video.
“You're all dismissed.” He tries to say confidently, voice cracking. When all the student’s clear from around him, Izuku can’t find it in himself to break down. Not yet. He just stands there for a moment glossy eyed, staring at the paused screen. Please, he thinks again before dragging himself back into Principle Nezu’s office.
“My classes are cancelled for the day, I’m sorry.” Izuku says not giving Nezu room to respond. He feels guilty, for then and for now. For not doing more, for still not doing more.
He gets home in a blur, out of his body and acting on autopilot. Somehow, dragging his feet led him to his front door. Their front door. Katsuki and him, together. Izuku has to keep reminding himself. As soon as he gets inside Izuku drops his keys and thoughtlessly pulls out his phone. He knows Katsuki’s busy, but he can’t find himself to care. Not right now.
Ringing… Please.
Ringing… Please.
Ringing… Please. Izuku can’t hold it in anymore, his eyes shut tight as tears pour out.
“What do you want, Deku, I’m busy?” Katsuki’s voice, finally. Izuku's breath hitches and he can’t bring himself to respond except for a small gasp that slips out. “Seriously, spit it out.” Kastuki continues. Izuku just sobs into the phone.
“Please.” Izuku repeats like it’s the only word he knows.
“What the hell.” Katsuki responds, barely audible. “Where are you? Are you okay?” He asks, louder this time, voice filling with panic. Izuku’s hysterical, unable to answer.
“Where the hell are you? Answer me!” Katsuki practically yells.
“Home.” Izuku manages to get out.
“Don’t move.” Katsuki spits out before abruptly ending the call. Izuku sits on the floor near the front door, time going by agonizingly slow.
When Katsuki gets home, he nearly busts down the door. He swings it open full force, like he’s expecting a fight. When he sees Izuku in a puddled mess on the floor, Katsuki’s heart sinks. He takes a moment before Izuku peers up, eyes overflowing with hurt. It’s oddly beautiful and breathtaking, Katsuki thinks.
“Izuku…” Katsuki whispers out before lowering himself down to the floor. “Breathe, c’mon.” He pulls Izuku into his chest. Katsuki runs his hand through Izuku’s hair, he doesn’t know why, just that it feels right. They stay like this until Izuku’s breathing steadies, syncing up with Katsuki’s.
“You died.” Izuku breaks the silence and Katsuki is caught off guard. He attempts to look at Izuku face to face, but the second he starts to push away, Izuku shoves himself into Katsuki's chest even harder.
“Yeah.” Katsuki accepts his position, careful with his next move. “I did.” Izuku tightens his grip. “But I’m not dead.” Katsuki finishes his sentence. Izuku freezes, letting Katsuki pull them apart gently.
“I watched it.” Izuku rushed out. “The war footage, I watched it. I saw you die.” His eyes well up again as Katsuki's face drops and mangles into something adjacent to horror. “If you had died, really died…” Izuku chokes, “I wouldn’t have made it, I couldn’t-” He chokes on his own words. Katsuki just pulls him close again, kissing the top of Izuku’s head.
“I’m here, I’m right here.” Katsuki reassures, unsure of what to say. He can’t even imagine losing Izuku, there would be no words.
Eventually, Izuku is too exhausted to keep his eyes open. He falls asleep on the floor in Katsuki’s arms, nothing bad can happen to them there. Katsuki watches Izuku rest for a while there, tracing over his features softly with his fingertips, not letting his eyes leave Izuku's body. He can’t help but feel a bit sappy and nostalgic. Here he is, with the only person that’s been with him his entire life laying in his lap. Lucky doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Katsuki starts whispering Izuku’s name until he stirs. When Izuku lifts his head and looks up, Katsuki can’t help but smile.
“C’mon, shower?” Izuku just nods in response. Katsuki takes the grunt of both their weight as they rise off the floor, both feeling slightly numb and tingly. He decided to swiftly lift Izuku off the ground into a bridal hold, making Izuku yelp and giggle. A wave of relief rides through Katsuki’s body. Screw being a hero, that was his purpose in life.
Under the warm water, Katsuki scrubs small circles into Izuku’s back with one hand, letting the other rest on Izuku’s side.
“I’m sorry you had to leave work.” Izuku says shyly.
“Fuck that.” Katsuki replies, spinning Izuku to face him. They study each other's faces for a moment before Katsuki raises a hand to Izuku's face, thumb rubbing up and down. Izuku blushes, because of course he does. Katsuki huffs out a small silent laugh before pulling Izuku into him for a kiss. It was short and sweet and it meant everything. Lingering for a moment, Katsuki smirks and turns Izuku back away from him, vowing to take care of him forever. Izuku’s never been more safe as he tilts his head back, resting against Katsuki’s shoulder. Feeling him breathe, knowing he’s there. Thank you he thinks, comfortably sighing into the rest of his life.