Chapter Text
“Three is enough for me”. The words roll around in my head during the entire last stretch to the cabin. He claimed the third one had been his old self. Apparently he had forgotten that was the Coriolanus who saved me, the one whom I first despised, then tolerated, then liked and eventually loved. If that person was truly dead then, who was he now? Someone with guns, guns that had committed atrocities.
“No more loose ends.”, he said. I had to test him, despite my gut telling me to keep quiet. As carefree as I could I simply stated;
“Besides me”
“Besides you?”, he asked, confused. A moment passed as if something clicked. A realization I’m sure he would have had later on anyway. But I had sped up the process. “You wouldn’t say anything.”, he continued. Not as a threat, but neither was it a question.
“Course not.”, I managed through the growing lump in my throat. I have to leave. My mind was screaming at me. Something’s wrong! Something’s wrong! If there was anything I had learned to recognize by being forced into the arena was how to spot the eyes of a predator. And they were looking right at me. Today I don’t quite remember what excuse I gave as I headed for the door. Something about picking the katniss, despite knowing it was still too early. My heartbeat increased. Beating so loud I feared it may betray me and give my worries away. I opened the door. The rain made me feel safer for a moment as it concealed the sound of my beating heart.
“Lucy Gray”, my name on his lips again, but this time it felt like a warning. “It’s still raining.” I told him I’m not made out of sugar and of that I am certain, to this day. I closed the door.
I couldn’t start running, not yet. In case he would look outside immediately after I left. So I walked as calmly as I could. Heart still beating in my chest, urging me to use the adrenaline pumping through me. Tears stinging in my eyes. As soon as I got into the forest I rounded a few trees and I took off. Along the way the scarf he had once given me flew off. It was the last thing I had from the boy who had saved me, the boy whom I had saved, the boy whom I loved. But he was gone now. So I might as well leave everything of him behind. I kept running for what felt like an eternity, like in one of those dreams where you run and run but never get anywhere, but suddenly I heard yelling from somewhere close by.
“Lucy Gray! Are you trying to kill me?!”, his voice was unhinged. What did he mean?, I thought but I quickly refocused. I had to get away. Then came a deafening sound. A gunshot and I lost my footing. I fell down in the moist moss and mud. I heard him coming closer. Branches breaking under him. One of my earrings had fallen off when I tripped, I hoped it would be a distraction and buy me some precious time. So I left it be and got up again. Stuffing my sobs down my throat as much as possible. I couldn’t outrun him, and certainly not a gun. I stopped and quickly surveyed the area around me. The feeling of being watched came over me, but this feeling wasn’t malicious compared to that of being hunted. In front of me on a tiny branch I spotted a mockingjay. I needed to disappear but I could not do it soundlessly. Carefully, with the knowledge of my hunter tracking me not far behind, I walked up to the bird and whispered a song. It mimicked me instantly and as if it understood I was in need. It took off, singing my song through the trees. I looked behind me. I couldn’t see him yet. But I could see my shoe prints so I removed my shoes, threw them as far as I could in another direction. Then I ran, my lungs fought as hard, if not harder, than they did in the arena. Behind me I heard more and more mockingjays joining my song. That’s when it started. A mix of their mimics, screams and gunshots.
My eyes teared up. As I ran further and further I thought of Tam Amber, of Clerk Carmine, Barb Azure and of little Maude Ivory. I wished for their odds to be ever in their favor as they had been for me in the arena. And in a way, even now. They knew I was leaving. I had told them as much in a note I left behind. But they would probably never know I made it out alive. That I escaped him. That I escaped Coriolanus Snow.