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When Glinda entered her quarters she was met with the heavy silence she had accepted long ago. Five years to the day, as all the celebrations had marked. It wasn't a celebration for her though. It was a reminder. A reminder that hit her even more, now the silence was full force once more.
It was a silence felt. Not a such a pressing weight like it was in the beginning, yet it clung to her still. Almost like some sort of creature latching on to her. It never seemed to go away.
She could ignore every other day of the year.
She was a busy woman after all. No longer that school girl from Shiz. No longer a puppet on the Wizard's string. She was the leader of Oz, at least till she makes the changes needed. The changes she promised to make. She had so much work to do, so why not let it distract her from all the hurt? From remembering how on a certain day ten years ago she and her fellow classmates all attended the Ozdust Ballroom. Or how, on another day, she and her closest of friends all went off on a adventure together. She could push those thoughts done. Tuck it away neatly in her mind. Even her own birthday, though it was impossible not to have some sort of banquet planned for her. Gifts sent her way that were mostly left in their original box. She could ignore it all, but today. The anniversary of the Wicked Witch's death. It always was the biggest celebration. Much bigger than the witch of the East's death, which was only celebrated in Munchkinland. The traitorous Prince Fiyero's death didn't even get a celebration. She was thankful for that at least. His parents were still alive, they didn't deserve such heartache.
Only she did.
Her entire quarters was bathed in shadow. The only light source was the moon and stars shining through her balcony doors. All she needed to do was clap her hands and the lights would turn on.
Yet she welcomed the dark. In the darkness she could pretend for a moment. Pretend things were different. Pretend she wasn't walking about in a massive apartment. Pretend she wasn't living in it alone.
She did share the space long ago. All his things were long gone now. Most likely destroyed or sold off. She didn't want to know, but she kept some things hidden away. The small portrait tucked in a drawer, her engagement ring mixed amongst her other jewellery.
What little she had of Elphaba though, that was hidden even further, stashed in her private closet. Her own little museum of fond memories and regret.
Elphaba.
Sometimes she caught herself about to say her name in the middle of meetings.
Elphie.
Sometimes she'd whisper it to herself just to make sure some part of her still existed. Some small part of who she truly was could still be heard, only if it was just her and the wind that heard it.
She had to stop it though. She knew full well how tragedicily silly it was. Whispering a dead woman's name. It wouldn't bring her back. Nothing would bring her back.
Yet it was better than hearing the agonising screams and the deathly silence that followed. A silence that followed her since. Even in the loudest of places, she could still hear it. Feel it. The silence that was once filled with a amused cackle. The silence that was once filled with a dry intelligent remark or devastating tenderness. The silence that was once filled with her Elphie.
Her heels clicked against the marble floor, the sound echoing in time with her breathing. She moved as if rehearsed. Like she was following a strict script. First she went to her wand stand. Her hands lifted the heavy bubble wand and placed it in its holder. The darned thing was more like a mace then a magic wand. She certainly felt like using it as one on more than one occasion. It wasn't like she could preform magic with the thing anyway. She found just using her hands much easier to cast spells. Only little ones for now.
Next she made her way to her vanity, her hands reached for the heavy crown on her head. In silence she lifted the glistening thing off of her. Then as quickly as she could, she placed on the vevelt cushioned display.
She didn't take a second glance. Instead simply moved to remove the next performative piece of clothing.
Her glittering pink gown was difficult to take off alone. The ties of her corset were at her back and the puffy sleeves made it difficult to reach around.
Yet she had no one to help her now.
A lie, she had many a servant willing to do anything for her. The issue was that though. They were willing to do absolutely anything. She could order them to leap from her balcony and they'd do it. They had no opinions to share with her. They wouldn't tell her she was being foolish. They won't even tell her if she had a hair out of place.
At one point she had dreamed of this. To have beings who adored her, do anything for her. Oh how far she had come. How mature she became. How broken she became. What once delighted her hardly brought any joy. Perhaps it was just grief. She remembered how long she mourned for her Grandmother. Yet, she had people then. Her momsie and popsicle were always there to comfort her.
It was hard to seek comfort from others when you mourned the lost of the Wicked Witch of the West.
Once the gown hit the floor Glinda simply stepped out of it. That heavy thing can stay there for all she cared. Though she'll only place it back in the closet later.
She finally turned to her vanity, now in nothing but her cream coloured shift. She sat down on the small stoll. Now in front of her was her make up and fragrances, as well as the large mirror with her reflection staring right back at her. This moment was why she liked the dark so much. She couldn't see her own face. She couldn't see the truth in her eyes. She could pretend everything was okay for a moment longer.
Glinda worked silently to remove each layer of makeup. Each layer was a proformance. A lie to keep Oz bright. Each layer removed was another piece of herself that wasn't truly herself. Not anymore. They expected their beautiful shimmering Good Witch. That's what they wanted. She tried...at least, she tried to be as good as she could. Make the choices she knew would have made her proud. But it was hard. Days like this only made it harder. She had promised. She could never tell Oz the full truth...but each passing year it became harder and harder to keep her lips sealed. It was the one lie she couldn't let go of. Yet, it was the only lie she wished she could.
Once the last layer was removed she leaned back just a little. Her eyes finally took in the sight of her. Just the form of her face, the moonlight casting over her. Framing her head like a shrowl.
A long breath left her lips. Exhaustion began to creep it's way into her bones.
She should retire to bed. It was late. She had another busy day of meetings and appearances to attend to.
Yet she didn't move to stand. Even when she started to nod off right there at her vanity. What was the point? It wasn't like she had anyone else here with her. She didn't need to keep up performances here. There was no need to lie. Not to herself anyway. So she simply leaned forward, crossing her arms across the table and resting her head on top. She let her eyes close slowly. A little pre sleep nap couldn't hurt, right?
When she first heard the sound of cracking glass, she thought she dreamt it. It made her jolt awake from her sleep. Her head jerked upwards, blinking the sleep from her eyes.
Yet when she turned towards the source of the news, she froze. Her breath catching in her throat. Her hand jumped to cup her mouth to muffle her cry. There clear as day even from this far away, was a crack in her balcony door. A triangular shaped, almost like a pointed hat. She instantly recognised the shape. Even the sound brought back memories she tried to repress. She couldn't move. Not at first. She simply stared at the crack, willing it to disappear.
She blinked. Once. Twice. Three times.
The crack was still there.
"Elphie?"
Glinda leapt from her vanity. The heels on her shoes almost broke from the force, so she kicked them off before running. Her bare feet now hit the cold floor, fast and heavy with a slapping sound. Her eyes were trained on the crack as she moved. Her breath came out in bursts as the ran the distance from her vanity to her Balcony. The whole time she willed for a flash of green. A hand reaching to open the doors. A soft voice calling her name.
"Elphaba!?"
She cried out as she burst through the doors. The cold air struck like needles against her bare skin. Goosebumps began to rise against her arms as she quickly crossed them around herself. Her eyes darted about aimlessly, searching for any signs of the Witch. She always did show up so suddenly, she could remember that. Even at Shiz she would just appear out of nowhere. Often scaring the blonde.
There was no sight of her though. No figure at all.
Glinda felt her heart shatter all over again. The pieces she had left breaking even further. What sort of cruel joke was this? The crack in the mirror, the exact same Elphaba had left those years ago. Yet...she wasn't here. She was dead. Dead and gone. She watched it happen. There trapped in that closet she watched as Elphaba melted. Her screams of agony had clung to her mind. Her cries she'd wake up some nights, even now.
She felt her knees threaten to buckle. Fresh tears sprung to her eyes.The all too familiar sting hitting her once more.
A sharp breath left her lips, willing the strength to return to her legs.
Clearly some foolish bird or possibly Bird had crashed into the window. They had just left before she reached the beclony, that's all. Though the lack of feathers were confusing. Perhaps some stray wind picked them up. It doesn't matter. This was all an excuse for her cracking heart after all. She willed herself to turn around, intending to return back to a restless sleep.
Yet then she saw it.
There on the fall covered by the broken glass from the door, was a folded piece of paper. The weight of the glass kept it from flying off.
Galinda moved without thought, reaching to the grab the note. The crouched. Her fingers tracing the paper before finally picking it up. There was no envelope. No name. Just what looked to be a blank piece of paper. Yet when she unfolded it her breath caught in her throat. The world around her faded to back when she saw familiar handwriting. Her eyes were unable to leave the first three words.
'My sweet Galinda.'
It had been years since she last saw her name written like that. Yet to see that famillar handwriting once more...she couldn't fight the tears that began to fall. Fight the confusion and shock. The mix of anger and glee rising within her. What did this mean? Why was this note here. Why now? Who sent it her way?
A gush of freezing wind broke the growing tension. She quickly rose to her feet. Gripping the note tightly she quickly retreated inside, closing the doors behind her.
Her feet took her back to her vanity. Her free hand reaching to switch on her lamp.
When she sat down her hands trembled as she went to open the note. What could this be? What would a dead woman write? A final goodbye? A cruel reminder of how she had failed her? Tips on what to do next? Elphaba would do something like that. Write a list of all the laws she needed to resolves. The laws she needed to make. Not the how, of course.
Elphie was never good with people. Animals sure, but people? She certainly wasn't a social person, but who could blame her. People were cruel to anything or anyone different. Are still, though she was trying to fix that.
She opened the note and paused at the first words once more. There was so much hesitation. Yet she willed her eyes to slip past those three words. She started to read the entire note.
'My sweet Galinda,
If this note has reached you then fate has smiled upon me. It had took a lot of courage and a lot of effort to write these words and send them your way. Though not as hard as it has been keeping you in the dark all these years.
You have every right to think this a trick or prank. I have been warned that you might. I have no way to convince you, but it is me my sweet. Your Elphie. I live. Despite what the whole of Oz and yourself had believed, I never did melt that fateful day. It was a elaborate escape plan of mine and Fiyero's. Yes, Fiyero is alive also, but he is not the man either of us once knew. You may have met him though, a man made of straw. A result of my magic and the Grimmiere. To save him.
I will not ask for Forgiveness. It is not my right to ask such a thing. I have tricked you, I have brought you great pain. I can only hope you may one day understand why I had to leave the way I did. Oz would never move on, never flourish the way it has if I still lived. You would never had moved on if you knew. They needed Glinda the Good, not the Wicked Witch of the West. That does not mean I don't feel any guilt. There hasn't been a day where I haven't longed to see you again. A night where I wake missing you. That is why I write to you know. Despite Fiyero's warnings, you know I never followed the rules of others.
My sweet, I know you may be fretting as you read these words. I know you may already have a plan in your mind to come find me. You cannot. For all I know this note has taken many years to have gotten to you. I had to use magic to send it your way. Otherwise I may have been caught. Me and Fiyero have walked by foot across the impassable desert. We have reached a land called Ev.
This place is no Oz, but it is safe. No one has heard of the Wicked Witch, so I have no reason to hide. They think me odd, but they think that of Fiyero. Either way they aren't as fearful as Ozians. We made a home for ourselves. It's small, but it is the best we can ask for. The people here are kind, welcoming. We are both well here. Happy as we can be, without you of course.
My sweet I am so proud of you. The news of your reforms have found it's way here. Thanks to a Winged friend of mine. Please, do not be angry of Christery, he has been told strictly not to say a word to you about us. It is wonderful to hear him speak more clearly each time he visits. A gift I know I have you to thank. You have achieved more than I can ever hope to. Done more than I wish I could. It brought tears of gratitution to my eyes when the news of Dr Dillamond came my way. As well as your kindness to my sweet Dulcebear. You are truly good, I hope you believe that. Worthy of the title they have given you.
My only wish is that I can see it all for myself. We all know that is not possible. The risk of all your hard work reversing is too great. My love for you is too great to risk you getting hurt. So I implore you, do not seek me. In fact I have one last request for you. It is my sweet Galinda, to move on from me. Allow yourself happiness. Allow yourself peace of mind. I know you, I know you held onto the ghost of days gone by, clinging to bittersweet memories. So have I. But I write to you not to force you back into those memories, but to urge to make new memories instead. Allow yourself to take joy in the Oz you have created. I know it is asking you too much to forget about me, so I will not. It brings me warmth to know you may still think of me fondly. But allow yourself to find new fondness. You still have many years ahead, do not waste them in grief.
I must end this letter now. I fear my Yero may have grown suspicious of my nightly activities. I was never one to journal my thoughts, though perhaps I will start now. Perhaps it will bring me more peace. I end with the words I never said enough to you my sweet. I love you, I always will. I wish your a bright future and the most deserving of love.
The warmest and bittersweet of Goodbyes.
Your Elphie. '
The last few words began to smudge as tears landed on the paper. Galinda leaned back, refusing to ruin the last words she'd ever get to read from her Elphie. Her chest heaved through tears, her trembling hand reaching to for her lips. Her Elphie was alive. So was Fiyero and they were both safe. Both in a place that they belonged. After all these years, they had never thought to give her a sign. Not till now it seems.
Yet, Galinda couldn't find it in herself to be angry to them.
Perhaps the years had made her wiser. Perhaps she was far too in shock to even process her emotions just yet. Either way she held no anger.
Instead she felt at peace.
Her endless wondering can settle. Elphaba was alive. Elphaba was well. Elphaba was happy, yet she missed her still. What else could she ever wish for? She knew now that her wildest dreams cannot come true. She had learnt that all those years ago. Yet now she had all she ever wanted. She had growing magic in her veins. She could truly do good for others. Now, she knew the love of her life was safe and well, living a life of love and peace. That life might not be with her, but that was the dream she could never have. We all have to pay the price of our past after all. She could only be grateful she was given all that she had.
Slowly she raised from her vanity one last time. Returning to the balcony, though this remembering to slip on a thick robe.
The sun began to rise, casting an orange and pink glow across the sky. Yet for once Glinda didn't stare longingly towards the west. Instead her gaze lowered to the land she now ruled. A true smile began to grow.
"Oh look, it's finally tomorrow."
She spoke into the air as Oz began to wake.
When Christery arrived in the mid morning Galinda had her own note to send. She didn't scold him, as Elphaba urged. Instead she simply thanked him and gave him the small envelope, telling him he knew exactly where to send it.
Then, she had made a new announcement to the people of Oz, one her Advisors would have paled at.
She was to take a break. Not for long, a year or so. Enough time for Glinda the Good to bask in the joys of her land. There were places she had yet to truly visit. Experiences she had yet to enjoy. Perhaps in this break she may find new memories to hold dear. Meet new folks to call friends. Perhaps even more, though she wasn't hoping on it.
Galinda didn't know if Elphaba will ever send her another note. She wasn't sure she wanted her to. She could be content with the one she has, tucked away in all her pieces of the past.
Instead she wanted to be content with that little hope. The little hope that her Elphie was living her best life now. The little hope that just maybe, she will too one day.