Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“That was awesome, guys, truly.” Selena beamed giving Shayne, Damien, and Angela a big thumbs up. “That might be one of the funniest TNTLs you guys have done on the pod.”

“I’ve never seen you laugh that hard,” Angela said, pointing at Shayne whose eyes were still slightly damp with tears of laughter.

“Did I hear you fucking scream at some point?”

“Dude, I don’t even know what I did,” Shayne said. “I think I blacked out at a couple points.”

“It’s been a minute since I’ve seen you laugh that hard,” Damien said, smiling at his friend.

“I knew you would get him more than me,” Angela said, smiling and pointing at Damien.

“I think you got him a few times.”

“Yeah, but you made him laugh the hardest with that Werther’s shit.”

“That shit took me off guard.”

Damien chuckled. “I do know how to make Shayne laugh pretty hard.”

“You know why?” Angela asked.

“Because we’re trunk boys?”

“You’re trunk boys!”

All three laughed at the new epithet that had taken hold over the pair. The trio made their way to the front of the Smosh studio where several boxes of pizza awaited them and the rest of the cast and crew. Shayne, carrying two plates and bowls, sat down next to Courtney and joined in her conversation with Arasha and Tommy. Damien put together a few slices and a bowl of salad for himself and made his way to a table that was somewhat off to the side. He wasn’t expecting for anyone to sit next to him, not that it would’ve bothered him, but he was surprised when a familiar white hoodie came into his periphery.

“This seat open?”

Damien looked up at Angela. With his mouth full of greasy, pepperoni goodness, he nodded and gestured to the chair next to him.

“Ok, so, I wanted to ask you something,” she said, waiting for him to swallow his food. “Did you actually mean what you said when you wanted Smosh to send me to the zoo?”

“I think it was wishful thinking, mostly,” Damien shrugged. “I don’t even know if we have the budget or time for something like that.”

“Has Smosh ever done anything like that before?”

“I mean, we used to,” Damien explained. “Back at Defy, the Smosh squad would go all kinds of places. They went to Disneyland a lot.”

“Did they ever go to the zoo?”

Damien thought for a moment, trying to remember back several years to a time when he was a young pup at Smosh Games. Back in those days, he didn’t get a ton of interaction with the squad, at least, not until later.

“They may have, at least once, but I’m not sure.”

Angela nodded. She turned around briefly, glancing back at the table of four laughing at something Arasha was saying.

“Do you think Shayne would remember?”

“If he doesn’t, Courtney might,” he suggests.

“Hey, Court!” Angela cried, drawing attention immediately from most of their coworkers.

“Jesus Christ, Ang.”

“Sorry. Hey, do you remember if Smosh ever went to a zoo or something?”

Courtney scrunched her face, digging into the recesses of her mind for 8-, 9-, and 10-year-old memories from Defy-era Smosh.

“I think we did, didn’t we?” Shayne asked, looking towards Courtney.

“Oh, yes!” Courtney exclaimed. “It was forever ago, but yeah. I only remember because Keith and Noah were driving around in one of those motor chair things the entire time.”

“That’s right, yeah,” Shayne said, nodding in agreement. “Was that in 2016 or 2017?”

“2016, maybe.”

“Whoa, you guys are old,” Arasha deadpanned, causing the table to burst out laughing.

“Thanks, Court,” Angela said.

“Well, there you go,” Damien said, taking another bite of pizza, “Smosh lost its zoo virginity years ago.”

“It’d be kinda fun to do that, though,” Angela mused. “But, you’re right, I don’t know if we could convince Emily or Kiana to do that. We’d have to take a whole day to film, Emily and Bailey would have to be on site, there’d need to be a camera person….”

“It’s a lot for one video.”

“Yeah.” Angela, looking somewhat dejected, slumped in her chair a bit, taking a few big bites of her salad. “It was a fun idea though.”

Damien sat quiet for a moment. Angela was one of his favorite people at Smosh. No one got more excited about fun ideas than her. Even during the Smosh Mouth episode, he could tell that that idea really intrigued her. Over the last three years, he liked to think that he’d gotten to know her well, but they were still mostly work friends, despite her assertion that they’d hung out outside of work (which, to be fair, they had a couple times). He just didn’t want to suggest anything and have her feel like it was a step too far, but, if anyone would be cool about it, it would be her.

“You know,” he started, “and this is just an idea, if you really wanted to go to the zoo, we could go.”

Angela blinked. “You mean, like, just the two of us?”

“Or whatever,” he quickly added. “You seemed so excited about the idea, and I do think it’d be awesome to see you learn about all the crazy animals that are out there.”

“Like the—what did you call it—tapir?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Damien smiled.

“That’s the pig-elephant thing, right?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Damien said. “It’s honestly kinda hard to describe what it looks like cause it’s so unusual looking.”

Angela's face lit up as if an idea suddenly came to her. She pulled out her phone from her hoodie pocket.

“Siri, show me a picture of tapir,” she said emphatically.

Damien stifled a laugh at her trying to use Siri.

“Sorry, I don’t see “Picturov Taper” in your contacts—”

Damien snorted.

“Shut up,” she scolded. “I’ll try again. Siri, show me a picture of a tapir.”

“Here are pictures of tapirs.” Sure enough, Siri did actually show exactly that. Angela’s face twisted in a mix of surprise and disgust.

“That’s a tapir?”

“Yeah, see, he got a little trunk,” Damien said, pointing at the creature on Angela's phone.

“It looks like if Squidward was a pig,” she said, still staring at the series of images she was scrolling through on her phone.

Damien snorted, trying his best not to choke on his lunch. “I think he’d have tentacles too.”

“What about a pig with a bad nosejob?”

“Hey, it’s hard to afford quality cosmetic surgeons on a zoo animal’s salary, Ahngula,” Damien replied, putting on a faux-offended voice.

Angela looked back at him and giggled a little. It always warmed his heart to hear her giggle.

“Well, I’ve gotta see more.”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s do it,” she said, now smiling and making direct eye contact with him.

“The zoo?”

Her smile vanished. “Did you not mean it?”

“No, no, no, I did, I just—I didn’t expect you to take me up on the offer,” Damien said, scratching his head a little. “But, yeah, we totally could.”

Angela beamed. “Oh my God! This is awesome!”

“What’s so awesome?” Chanse walked over to their table, setting his plate down and leaning in to get in on the conversation.

“Damien and I are going to the zoo!”

“Good,” Chanse said. “It’s about damn time you went to a zoo.”

“To see the animals, he means,” Damien quipped.

Chanse gave an impish snort. “I said what I said. Who all’s going?”

“Me and Damien,” Angela answered, taking a bite of her salad.

Chanse looked at her a moment and then at Damien who immediately turned his head down to his own bowl of salad.

“Oh,” he said, his face near-expressionless. “Just the two of you? No one else?”

“Yeah,” Angela said, now frowning. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing.”

“Why? Did you want to come?”

Chanse looked at Damien for a moment. Those biblically accurate eyes bored into his mind and saw everything. Chanse has known Angela longer than anyone at Smosh and was arguably her best friend (except maybe Amanda). He also had a habit of toggling between acting like her best friend and her older brother. He cared a lot about her. He was also protective of her. At this moment, he was looking into the eyes of older brother Chanse, and it made Damien sweat a little.

“No,” he answered finally. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your little…friend outing.”

Angela’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why’d you say it like that?”

“Hmm?”

Angela looked at Damien, the slightest hint of concern on her face, and then looked back at Chanse. “You can come if you want. We wouldn’t mind, right Damien?”

“No, not at all,” he said, almost a little too quickly. “The more, the merrier.”

“No, this feels like a thing between you guys,” he said. “Besides, I don’t even know if I’m free. When are you going?”

“I mean, we just talked about it, so…,” Damien trailed off.

“Hmm, one sec.” Angela pulled out her phone once again and started looking something up.

“Don’t use Siri again–”

“Shut up! I’m not using Siri.” Angela kept swiping through her phone. Damien tried not to lean over to see what she was looking at, but after a moment, his question was answered.

“Oh my god, you’re not gonna believe this!”

“Matthew Scott?”

“What?” Both Chanse and Angela looked at Damien curiously.

“He’s a friend from–don’t worry about it. What’s up?”

“I have nothing planned or booked this Saturday!”

“Whoa, that’s wild,” Chanse said, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Really, you don’t have yourself quadruple booked this weekend?”

“I’ve never quadruple-booked myself,” Angela protested.

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” Chanse said, his impish smirk returning.

“How would I even do that, Chanse?”

“I don’t know, bitch, you tell me! How did you double book yourself last April?”

“And I can’t believe you’re bringing that up again,” Angela exclaimed. “Grow up!”

Damien hadn’t stopped giggling the entire time Chanse and Angela were bickering. In the olden days of Defy and Mythical, Damien would sit back and listen to Keith and Noah argue like an old married couple. This felt a lot like that, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Anyway,” Chanse said, calming himself down, “I can’t this Saturday. I have a date.”

Angela turned to look at Damien. “What about you, Damien?”

“I was probably gonna stream that evening, but I could definitely do something in the morning. I don’t know when the zoo opens, though.”

“Great, it’s a date.”

Both Damien and Chanse raised their eyebrows and Angela got a sudden panicked look in her eyes.

“No, I mean, like a friend-date. You know? A, uh, what did you call it, Chanse? A, uh–”

“A friend outing?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Ooh, or a field trip,” Chanse cooed.

“A field trip to the zoo sounds fun,” Damien said, desperately trying to ignore the sudden rapid beating of his heart. He offered as reassuring a smile as he could to Angela, which seemed to relax her a bit.

“Ok, but you’ll have to tell me what the fuck everything is, because I don’t know shit.”

“That’s true,” Chanse chimed.

“I will be the best tour guide you could ask for,” Damien promised. “I’ll go full Ms. Frizzle.”

Angela beamed once again. “Oh, yeah, I’m excited now!”

“You should put it in your calendar so you don’t double book yourself again.”

“Fuck off!”

Chapter Text

Angela got a text from Damien at about 8:30am Saturday morning. He’d said he would text her when he was there to pick her up for their trip. The LA Zoo opened at 10:00am, but they knew it would be smart to give enough time for that famous LA traffic.
Just pulled up, he texted.

Angela was scrambling to find something to put on. She slept past her alarm, because of course she did. Knowing that it was an unusually cool day in August for Southern California, she decided to just throw on the nearest clean hoodie and pair of jeans.
Be right out, she replied back (eventually).

Just as she opened the door, she stopped and ran back to her room, grabbing her glasses. Just in case. Now satisfied she had everything she needed, she ran out the door to meet Damien. She’d never ridden in his car before, but knew it would be a million times better taking his than them taking hers. At least Damien didn’t have a layer of garbage in his passenger seat.

“Hey,” she greeted.

“Morning,” he greeted back, a big smile plastered on his face. “Ready for this?”

“Absolutely.” She buckled herself in and they drove off.

“You ever been to the LA Zoo before?” Angela asked.

“Once or twice, I think,” he said, maintaining eyes on the road as they got onto the highway. “It’s been a minute, though.”

“It’s been forever since I’ve been to any kind of zoo.”

“Hence the ‘not knowing animals’ thing.”

Angela giggled and saw Damien sneak a glance at her, smiling. She had to pull her gaze away so that he didn’t notice her staring. She was not about to make this car ride that awkward. They continued driving, getting caught in classic LA traffic.
“Do you wanna listen to some music?”

“Yeah, sure, if you want,” he responded. “You can pair your Bluetooth and play whatever.”

“Whatever?”

Damien gave a breathy chuckle. “Don’t make me regret giving you power.”

Angela smiled impishly, and pulled out her phone, pairing it to Damien’s car. She could’ve played some obscure Broadway soundtrack, a new artist that Chanse had shown her, or even blasted some Beyoncé. Instead, she suddenly recalled an afternoon singing karaoke on Smosh Games, and an idea came to her.

“You’ve never seen Wicked, right?”

“Not the new one, no.”

“Uh-huh.” She selected the Wicked (2024) cast recording soundtrack on Spotify. Immediately, “No One Mourns the Wicked” started playing.

“Well, this isn’t quite the same, but I think it’ll give you the idea.”

Damien gave her a warm smile. As the two slowly worked their way up I-5, they both gleefully jammed out to the music of Stephen Schwartz.

“Do you remember doing ‘Dancing Through Life’ back in January for the Charity livestream?” Damien asked.

“I was just thinking about that earlier,” Angela said. “You did really well.”

“Aww,” he blushed. “I didn’t really know the film version that well, and—”

“No, no, you were perfect. It was awesome!”

“Thanks.”

Traffic got a little better the further away from the center of the city they got. They both continued singing what they could remember (which, for Angela, was all of it). Every so often, Angela could see Damien sneak glances at her as she belted her heart out. He was always smiling, but his also seemed to be a face like he was about to ask something but decided at the last second to not. Angela noticed, but decided not to bring it up, not wanting to make him uncomfortable or pry into anything.

Eventually, they found their off ramp and continued towards their destination. Thankfully, the zoo parking lot wasn’t very crowded today. It was just after 10:00am when they got there. Damien found a decent spot and parked his car.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Damien asked, after turning his car off.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

Damien looked at her with that same look of mild discomfort he’d had for most of the drive. “What do you think Chanse meant by ‘friend outing’?”

Angela’s heart skipped a beat. She had been secretly hoping this was not what he had been wanting to talk about for the last hour. She could sock Chanse in the jaw for saying what he did, but it was too late now. He knew how she felt about Damien. Ironically, she had kind of hoped he would inject himself into their plans, just so this didn’t feel so much like a “friend outing”. Angela tried her best to keep a calm, neutral face.

“Honestly, I think Chanse just says shit, you know,” she said, trying her best to deflect.

“I guess,” he muttered. “But, like, this doesn’t make you uncomfortable does it? Just the two of us doing this…outing?”

“Why would it? We’re just friends. Two friends on a ‘friend outing.”

“Or a field trip?”

“Ooh, yeah, I like that more,” she nodded. “Two friends on a field trip.”

Damien forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Okay, cool. I just wanted to make sure we were good.”

“Hey, we’re awesome,” she assured. “Never been better. Now, come on, I wanna see some weird fucking animals.”

Damien’s smile brightened a bit and he got out of the car. When she was sure he couldn’t see, Angela took a couple deep breaths in and out before getting out too.

Chapter Text

“Okay, so the tapirs are going to be up here on the right, but if we want to, we can end with them and just go sort of clockwise around the zoo.”

Damien held the zoo map as the two of them ventured through the zoo entrance. He was pulling double duty as GPS and tour guide, which, of course, didn’t bother him in the slightest. Angela, sidled up beside him, was looking intently at the map.

“So, if we do that, we’d be starting with these guys here,” she said, pointing to the reptile enclosures. “Is that an alligator?”

“Or a crocodile,” Damien said. “Uh, let’s see…. Oh, it’s a tomistoma.”

“A what?”

“A little tomistoma,” he repeated. “Also known as a ‘false gharial’.”

“Oh, okay,” Angela nodded.

“You don’t know what a gharial is either, do you?”

Angela threw him an annoyed look. “What do you think?”

Damien tried not to laugh, but a smile crept up on his face despite his best efforts. “I think it’s going to be a fun day of learning.”

“Let’s end with the tapirs, then,” she suggested, her frown now replaced with a genuine smile. “That way we can save the best for last.”

“Okay, but if you’re disappointed by the tapirs, don’t blame me,” he said, putting his hands up defensively.

“It’ll be all your fault, Damien,” she added.

“I don’t control the tapirs. I wish, but I don’t.”

“Just the birds, right?”

“Well, obviously I control the birds,” he replied, smiling at the continuing of the bit. “They are my friends. I give them nuts and they bring me pennies.”

Angela giggled. “You’re talking about the crows that live outside your place, right?”

“No, Angela,” he said, putting on an air of seriousness for a moment, “My dark, winged friends are everywhere.”

“Well, if one of your dark, winged friends swoop down towards me, I’m punching it in the beak.”

“And then I’ll scold him saying ‘Bad crow, bad Rodrigo’.”

“Rodrigo?” she asked mid-laugh.

“It’s a name.”

“Alright, well, let’s go see these—what did you call them—fake gharials?”

“False gharials,” Damien corrected.

“Yeah, them.”

The two of them continued their way through the reptile enclosures. The two soon came upon a larger enclosure than the last few. Damien didn’t see anything at first a flicker of something in the shaded corner caught his eye. The flicker of a forked tongue. He turned to look at Angela, but she had moved ahead and was now staring wide-eyed at the sign in front of the enclosure.

“Wait, “dragon”? Like, a real dragon?”

“Well, it can’t exactly fly, but it is a big lizard boy,” Damien explained.

Angela stared out at the massive lizard resting under the tree in the corner. They’d made their way into the Australia part of the zoo, and Angela was agog at every turn. Just as she was about to ask something else, the Komodo dragon got up and began to slowly walk to the opposite end of the enclosure.

“Holy shit, that thing is huge!”

Damien smiled, looking down at the plaque beside the enclosure. “Apparently, they can grow to be 10 feet long from tip to tail. And, they’re mildly venomous.”

“It’s ten feet long and venomous?!” she gawked, still transfixed with a look of horror and awe on the hulking lizard. “That’s cheating. It can’t have both.”

“If you hate that, Ahngula, you’re gonna really hate snakes,” Damien said, doing his best to keep a straight face.

Angela burst out laughing. “And I do. I don’t like them.”

“That’s fair.”

Moving on from the Komodo dragon enclosure, Angela peered over at the map Damien was holding and excitedly pointed at the next place.

“Look, Damien, you’re favorite!”

“A chansey?”

“What? No, birds,” Angela said, a brief look of confusion washing over her. “They got birds. Like a spoonbill. What the fuck is that?”

“That’s the receipt they give you after you buy silverware.”

“See that’s why you’re perfect for this,” she said, grinning up at him. “You know shit and you’re funny. Not all zoo guides can say that.”

“Feel free to Venmo me tips.”

She giggled again. Grabbing his arm, she pulled him up the path towards the aviaries. Damien blushed slightly as she excitedly dragged him along.

“Come on, bud, let’s go buy silverware.”

They spent the next hour or so taking a trip through Australia, the Drylands, and the ape enclosures. Damien couldn’t help but be in awe at Angela’s love for everything she was seeing. She was asking questions the whole time and seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say. For the moments when he didn’t know the answer, he looked at the big information plaques to check. When they got to the fox and hyrax in the Drylands exhibit, Angela about burst into tears over how cute they were. Even Damien had to admit the hyraxes were just the cutest little balls of fur.

By the time they got to the Africa section, Damien could feel his stomach starting to rumble a little. Having been too nervous this morning to eat more than a granola bar, he was getting a little peckish. He poured over the map to see what concession options were available near them. Angela, who had long since adorned her glasses, was staring bemusedly at the okapi enclosure.

“Oh look, that one has a pair of fun leggings,” she said.

Damien didn’t respond right away, still looking for where to eat lunch.

“Damien!”

“What’s up?”

“Look at the—what’s it called—okapi,” she pointed. “I think I used to have leggings like that in middle school.”

“I think I wore pants like that on So Random!.”

“Was the okapi a guest star?”

“Dude, that’d been dope as hell,” he chuckled. “Wouldn’t have been the worst guest star we had.”

Those big, brown eyes of hers landed on his, lasting a moment longer than he’d expected. Without even realizing it, he pulled his gaze away and returned to the map.

“Looking for a certain animal?”

“I, uh,” he stammered, “I’m looking for a place to possibly eat something. Don’t know how good zoo food will be, but my granola bar this morning is wearing off.”

“Yeah, I hear ya,” she said. “I didn’t eat breakfast this morning.”

“You sleep past your alarm again?”

Angela narrowed her eyes at him. “How did you know that?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “You talk about sleeping through alarms a lot in the office.”

“I really try not to,” she said, almost sounding defensive. “And this morning I set like 3 to make sure, and of course it still didn’t work, and—"

“No, no, Angela, it’s cool,” Damien reassured, “I totally get it. Sometimes your brain just wants sleep, regardless of what the day has planned.”

“Yeah, but I really, really, just wanted today to—” Angela stopped herself from finishing her sentence. That same brief look from before made another appearance on her face.

“You wanted today to what?”

“I just didn’t want to fuck today up for myself.”

Damien offered as sincere a smile as he could. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, you really seem like you’re having a lot of fun.”

“And I am, I really am,” she said.

“Good,” he nodded. “Me too.”

Her expression relaxed a little and she smiled back at him.

“Did you, um, find a place to eat?”

“I think so,” he answered quickly, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach. "There’s a little café in Africa we could eat at.”

“I kinda meant somewhere in the zoo, Damien.”

“It is in—oh, ha ha,” he chuckled dryly. “Very clever, Ahngula.”

“See, you’re not the only one who can make jokes.”

“Hey, I love your jokes.”

“Aw, thanks, bud,” she said. “Let’s go eat!”

Chapter Text

Angela’s phone buzzed right as she went to go save the two of them a seat. Pulling it out of her pocket, she saw a message from Amanda.

Hey! How’s the zoo?

How’d you know I was at the zoo?

Chanse told me.

Angela cursed under her breath. She shouldn’t be too surprised that Chanse blabbed about it, though, in his defense, it’s not like she said he couldn’t talk about it. But, if he told Amanda, God knows who else he told. Half of WeHo could know for all she knew.

Of course, he did.

So…

So what?

The zoo???

It’s actually a lot of fun. I’m learning so much. Damien’s a great guide.

I bet he is.

Angela cringed at that last message. She’d never admitted to any of her feelings about Damien to her, but Amanda’s keen, motherly intuition probably saw through it.

???

He knows a lot about animals.

Yup.

You guys having fun?

Yes, mom.

Alright. Text me when you’re done. I wanna know everything.

Nothing’s happening, you know. We’re just two friends hanging out at the zoo.

On a field trip?

Fuck off. And tell Chanse to fuck off too.

Love you too, babe. Seriously, text me when you’re done.

Angela sighed deeply to herself, not really wanting to reply to that last text.

“Everything okay?”

Angela about jumped out of her skin. Damien was holding a tray with their food on it. He was looking at her with a soft look of concern.

“Oh, nothing,” she said quickly, “Amanda was just texting me.”

“Everything good?”

“Yeah, totally.”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to pry,” he said, a twinge of panic coming through in his tone. “You just looked kinda upset and then gave that big ole sigh.”

“No, no, no,” she said, trying to reassure him, “You’re totally fine. No, no, it’s all good. She was just checking in with me.”

“Okay, well, I hope you’re hungry for zoo chicken strips and nachos!” Damien set the trays of food down on the table, careful not to spill the two lidless soft drinks.

“Sorry, they were out of lids apparently,” he said, sitting down in front of his nachos. “And straws. And Coke Zero.”

“Well, at least they had cups,” she joked. Damien chuckled as he dug into his tray of nachos.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Do you actually like Mater or was that purely just a bit for that video?”

Angela chuckled a little as she finished her last bit of chicken.

“Honestly, I was kinda playing it up for the video,” she admitted, “but, I don’t, like, hate him or anything.”

“Oh, you’re more of a Lightning McQueen girly.”

“Shut up, no I’m not,” she protested. “Take that back!”

“You like a little red racing car?”

“Shut the fuck up, Damien, that’s not funny!”

Damien couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Angela tried to maintain her faux-outrage, but seeing him laugh was enough to make her break, and it only egged him on.

“I’m sorry,” he said, tears streaming down his face.

“Ugh, now I’m getting flashbacks to that Smosh Mouth episode we did.”

“Oh, where I informed you about there being TVs at the gym?”

“Fuck off!”

Laughter erupted again, from both of them this time.

“Okay, I have a question for you now.”

“Oh, no….”

“What is it about anime that you love so much?”

Damien looked a little taken aback by the question. Angela worried for a moment that she may have hurt his feelings or upset him, but that thought was quickly dispelled by the big smile that appeared on his face.

“Wow,” he beamed, “I gotta admit, I was not expecting that.”

“’Cause, like, I hear you and Spencer talking about it all the time, and I don’t know anything about it other than Pokémon, but, yeah, what about it?”

“Well, how much time you got?”

“Until the zoo closes.”

Damien’s eyes went a little wide again.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” she said quickly, “but, you know, I am curious.”

“Well, can I be honest, Angela? It’s not really something I can condense down into one conversation. Anime, as a genre, is huge. Massive. There’s so many. Like, so many. It would take years, maybe decades to watch through every show on Crunchyroll.”

“Crunchyroll?”

“It’s like Netflix for anime.”

“Like a whole streaming platform for just anime?”

“Dawg, yeah. Like I said, so many.”

“Wow…,” Angela said, genuinely shocked.

“But, to answer your question as succinctly as I can, I think it comes down to stories, characters, and the art of it all. Anime has some of the most beautiful animation I’ve ever seen. Like, have you ever seen any Studio Ghibli films.”

“Is that, like the “Spirit” one? With the girl?”

“Yeah, Spirited Away. Great movie. Incredible movie, you’d love it. Every frame is a work of art.”

“I know that one because it’s one of Chanse’s favorites.”

“It’s very good. Any of the Studio Ghibli movies are gonna be good.”

“Is it lame that I’ve never seen any anime?”

“No, it’s not lame.”

“I never even watched Pokémon or, what’s the other one with the cards? ‘The heart of the cards’?”

“Oh, Yu-Gi-Oh!, you mean?”

“Yeah,” she replied. “Never. I kinda feel bad about it sometimes because so many of my friends and the people I work with are into it and I’m not.”

“You just watch trash reality TV.”

“Yeah….”

“Well, hey, if you ever want to know what anime is worth watching, I’d be happy to offer my two cents.”

Angela smiled. This man was just too nice sometimes.

“Okay,” she nodded. “Well, if you had to recommend an anime to someone like me—”

“A total noob?”

“—yes, a total noob, which would you recommend?”

Damien looked up for a moment, taking the time to seriously consider this question. His face twisted a bit as he ran through what Angela could only imagine was a gargantuan rolodex of animes.

“Honestly, for a total noob, Spirited Away is a great one to start with,” he said. “I mean, if you’re gonna start watching anime, you might as well start with the one that won an Oscar.”

“It won an Oscar?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “See, it has something in common with Wicked?”

“Oh my God.” They both laughed at that. Angela took a bite of her last chicken finger, thinking.

“Would I have to get a Crunchyroll account?”

“I don’t think so,” he said after washing down the last of his nachos with his drink. “It’s such a popular one, I’m sure you’d be able to find it other places.”

“Or I could just come to your place and watch it for free.”

Angela wanted so badly to say “cut that”, but this was real life. And, in this real life conversation with her friend and coworker, she just invited herself over to his house. Hard to spin that into another “field trip”. Damien’s eyebrows raised slightly at what she’s certain was the most inappropriate suggestion she could have made.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”

“No, it’s fine.”

There were a few seconds of silence that felt like an eternity that followed that. Angela could feel her anxiety building so she resorted to damage control.

“I was just kidding—”

“I mean, if you’re interested—"

Another moment of silence came.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” he said, looking down at his empty tray.

“No, no, you’re good,” she said. “Did you say ‘if I’m interested’?”

Damien looked up, his eyes meeting hers. “I mean, yeah, if you’re really interested, I can show you.”

“Oh.”

“But, you can say no, it’s totally fine,” he quickly added, his face turning slightly red. “I don’t’ want to make you—”

“I’d love to.”

“You—really?”

“Yeah, I really would. You could be a zoo guide and an anime guide.”

Damien chuckled lightly to himself. “Okay, sure. Like, today, tonight, when would this be happening?”

“Tonight? Dinner and an anime,” she said, her heart almost beating in her throat now. “Although, wait, you said you were streaming tonight.”

“I said I was thinking about streaming. I hadn’t committed to a schedule.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.”

“Yeah,” Damien was beaming now, and it was hard for Angela to not mirror that. “Well, how about I take these trays, and we continue with the next half of our zoo field trip.”

“Sure thing.”

Damien took the trays. The second he turned away, Angela put her fingers to her neck to feel her pulse. It was racing and she took a big, deep breath to try to calm herself down.

“Oh boy…,” she muttered to herself. “What have I gotten myself into.”

Chapter Text

“I’m just saying, it looks uncomfortable,” Angela said.

“Well, he can’t exactly take off his skin, Ahngula,” Damien said, smiling.

“I’m just saying, it’d be uncomfortable to have skin that made it look like I was going to Ren Faire all the time.”

Damien glanced over at the rhinoceros. He wasn’t doing much at the moment, but he was close enough that they could make out the details of his armored skin. “Not gonna lie, it might be better than any leather armor I’ve worn.”

Angela’s eyes widened at that. “Whoa, that’s high praise coming from the leather guy.”

As they continued moving through the rest of Asia, this persistent hooting and hollering got louder and louder. The primates of Asia were out in full force today and they were making it everyone’s problem.

“Bro, we already passed them and those screaming monkeys are still screaming.”

“Actually,” Damien said, pulling out his map really quick to double check something, “the siamangs are technically apes, not monkeys.”

“Is there a difference?”

“Tails.”

“Apes don’t have tails?”

“Yep.”

“What?”

“You remember Tarzan?”

“The 90s Disney cartoon?”

“Did any of the gorillas have tails?”

Angela’s brows furrowed as she thought for a moment. “I…don’t remember.”

“Well, they—”

“Wait! No, they didn’t. They just climbed shit.”

“Yep.”

“So, monkeys have tails and apes don’t?”

“Yep,” Damien affirmed, holding up his map, “and siamangs are part of the gibbon family, which are just smaller apes.”

“They are very loud, though.”

“They are very loud.”

“You think the rhinos ever file noise complaints against them?”

Damien smiled. “And you know the HOA isn’t gonna do anything about it.”

“Whoa, zoo HOAs. Not even once.”

“I’d rather live in a jungle.”

They both laughed at that. Continuing their way throughout Asia, Angela seemed particularly enthralled with the big cats they had. The Sumatran tiger wasn’t too active, but Angela was nonetheless amazed at how big it was. Damien had to resist the urge to giggle each time she referred to it as a “big kitty”. The snow leopards were especially active, though. One was jumping from rock to rock, and another one even came up to the glass of the enclosure. Damien got just as excited as Angela to see one that close. Angela knelt next to the glass and Damien squatted next to her to get a better look.

“They look so beautiful,” Angela said, eyes fixed on the big cat.

Damien looked away from the leopard for a moment and looked at Angela. He caught himself doing it multiple times throughout the day. Every time they came up to a new animal, Damien would focus almost exclusively on Angela. He wanted to see her reaction. The feeling he got when her face lit up each time something new came across their path was intoxicating. The way her eyes glinted with joy each time he told her what the animal was. The way she listened intently each time he read facts about the animal. And while she was marveling at the snow leopards, he was marveling at her.

“Yeah…,” he muttered.

After a moment, she looked over to him almost expectantly. He didn’t do anything at first. His mind had wandered elsewhere in the moment, thinking about her, but now, seeing her big brown eyes stare back at him, he snapped to attention and went to read the facts on the snow leopard.

“It, uh, says that Snow leopards live in the steep, rocky mountains and shrubland of Central Asia, including the Himalayan range in Nepal, China, India, and Pakistan.”

“Yeah?”

“It also says,” he continued, trying to maintain composure, “that the folklore of many local peoples across the snow leopards’ range portrays these cats as shape-changing mountain spirits due to their solitary nature, elusive behavior, and almost supernatural ability to blend in among the rocks.”

“Whoa…,” she said, turning back to look at the closest leopard. “So, they’re beautiful and elusive. Maybe even magical.”

“Maybe,” he said, “or at least, that’s what some people think.”

“They’re bigger than you’d think, though,” she added. “Like, they’re pretty now because they’re behind glass, but could you imagine coming across one in the wild?”

“I don’t know about you, but I’d need a change of pants.”

Angela gave a small chuckle at that. “But that’s just because you realized that it didn’t go with your shirt?”

“Yeah, it’s hard to match things with brown pants.”

Angela’s face twisted into confusion for moment. “You have brown pants?”

“They are now, after coming across a leopard.”

“That’s disgusting, Damien,” she said, clearly fighting a laugh.

“Yeah, and the underwear’s also brown, so it’s gotta be changed too.”

“Eww!” Damien giggled as Angela got up in a playful show of disgust. “Don’t bring up your brown underwear in front of the leopard. Show some decency!”

Angela made a big gesture towards the leopards behind the glass. Damien looked over at the one that had been on the rocks. As it climbed down, it squatted down and left its own brown stain on the enclosure floor.

“Tell that to the leopard.”

Angela looked back over and had a look of defeat on her face as the big cat undercut her whole rant.

“Oh, that’s not classy,” she said, shaking her head. “Grow up!”

“I think it is fully grown.”

“I was talking to you.”

Damien laughed again.

“Whatever, now they’re not pretty anymore.”

“What? But, Ahngula, everything poops. Even big kitties.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean I want to see it.”

“Doesn’t Spork poop?”

“Don’t bring Spork into this!”

“Sorry,” he giggled, “alright, alright, let’s move on to the next place.”

“Which is?”

“South America.”

“Oooh!”

“Now, I should mention, because I just read this a few minutes ago, there are actually two tapirs.”

“There’s more than one kind?”

Damien nodded. “One is in the South America area, and the other is in the Rainforest of the Americas section. Two different species.”

“And then we rank them by beauty, talent, and how they answer the judges’ questions.”

“Miss Tapir 2025, presented by T-Mobile.”

She smiled. Damien had seen that smile a lot today and he still hasn’t gotten tired of it.