Chapter Text
𝒮𝓃𝒶𝓅ℯ'𝓈 𝓅ℴ𝓋
— ˖‧ 𓆗 ࣪‧ ˖ —
November 1st, 1981
He hadn't expected this. No, no— he hadn't.
Severus knew the prophecy had gone to the Dark Lord. He hadn't known who or what told him. No. But he knew the prophecy itself. Either the Longbottom boy.
Or. Hm.
Potter boy.
He knew it would happen. He knew the Dark Lord would go after Lily— yess, he was very...very...aware. That is why he gave up his loyalty.
He had gone to Albus.
He had asked... No, no—
he had begged.
Even if it damaged his ego. Even if it wounded his pride. He begged for Protection for Lily and her son, that he would pledge allegiance to the light instead of— the darkness.
He had spied.
He had done his part essentially.
He had played along, made as if his loyalty to the Dark Lord hadn't shifted– hadn't gone brittle.
And yet... and yet...
It had happened.
What he feared.
Grief numbed anger. Anger subdued a strange sadness. A... longing. A pain he remebered clutching his chest with such— such... good merlin.. he cannot say it. So he didn't.
What shocked him, though, wasn't the death.
Lily was gone. His lily. She was... no more.
James was gone. Good riddance.
But Harry? The boy... the boy— he hadn't been there.
Severus hadn't known himself. He hadn't gone to the scene. Yet.
He was made aware of the deaths later. When he wasn't aware of the fact that the Dark Lord har gone... By Albus himself. That, that in itself had made him... feel strange.
He couldn't even say a goodbye.
Yet, as he always did... he buried it. Buried it deep in his chest– where the hate and rot lied.
Something— something was wrong. And he could feel it. Albus had told him that they hadn't found the boy. Harry Potter. Lily's son. That had alarmed Severus.
Did the boy die?
Had the Dark Lord slain him?
Hm. Did the Dark Lord **take** the infant?
Severus did not want to know. He couldn't. He wanted to hide, to curl up and simply— be alone.
he remembered.... being with Albus. They had spoken of it. The wizard had recognized his love. His devotion, his loss.
He told Severus that the boy was the last piece of her.
He told Severus to repent for what he had done to Lily.
"She had died protecting the boy, Severus, you must understand—"
Severus didn't understand. He didn't want to.
That.... the boy.
He was the reason Lily was gone. He was the reason he had lost her. He was the reason— the reason that he was spiraling now.
Yet a part of him did understand.
Like a voice of Lily had whispered, "please,".
If Lily would have wanted it...
Severus would do it.
But.
He knew it wasn't so simple.
He knew something had happened.
And he knew for certain....
the Dark Lord did NOT take in pets.