Archive of Our Own

Beachwood Place Mall Safety Incident Report 

INCIDENT OVERVIEW

Date of incident: February 5, 1983

Time of incident: 2:03 PM

Location of incident: Cosmetics section, Higbee’s (Beachwood Place Mall location) 

Briefly describe the incident: Cannibal in the mall

INCIDENT CATEGORY

Select the appropriate category for the incident:

☐ Slip, trip, or fall

☐ Equipment or Machinery Malfunction

☐ Hazardous material exposure

☐ Fire or explosion

☐ Personal injury

☑ Near miss (incident with potential for harm but no actual injury)

☑ Other (specify): Cannibal in the mall

PERSON(S) INVOLVED

Name(s) of the person(s) directly involved in the incident: Sharon, unknown man

Job title(s) of the person(s) involved: Customers—Cosmetics section, Higbee’s

Describe the incident in more detail: Sharon (returning customer, please see the Beachwood Place Mall Safety Incident Reports I filed on January 10) approached me and asked for help selecting a perfume for her best friend Janice. While I was giving her a tour of our new Yves Saint Laurent and Estee Lauder samples and providing suggestions, a man wearing a vulture mask began to follow us from counter to counter. He smacked his lips in a way that I found quite concerning, for the following reasons:
1) Despite what the policies in the Higbee’s (Beachwood Place Mall location) Employee Handbook state, I feel it is not normal for mask-wearing customers to follow other customers around a department store;
2) The sound was extremely loud and wet through the vulture mask; and
3) I watched a man in a porcelain crypt keeper mask try to dismember my colleague Jill in the employee break room (please see Beachwood Place Mall Safety Incident Report filed January 10) before Sharon intervened.
When I asked Sharon if she knew who this man was, she said, “I know all men, and soon he will know me” and smiled bewitchingly for several long moments while I looked into her eyes.

Describe the nature and extent of the injuries (if any): Psychological distress (temporary), serious concern (ongoing) 

Describe the treatments provided (if any): N/A 

IMMEDIATE ACTIONS TAKEN

Describe the immediate actions taken to address the incident and ensure safety: Sharon decided not to make a purchase today, and I escorted Sharon out of the perfume section to the entry of the store. I watched her leave down the escalator. Several seconds later, the man was wearing a tiger mask instead and he followed Sharon down the escalator.  

CONTRIBUTING FACTORS

Were there any contributing factors to the incident? If yes, select the relevant factors:

☑ Inadequate training

☐ Equipment failure

☑ Unsafe work conditions

☐ Human error

☑ Lack of supervision

☐ Communication breakdown

☑ Other (specify): Cannibal in the mall

INVESTIGATION

Will a further investigation be conducted?: 

☐  Yes

☑ No    

If yes, specify the person(s) responsible for the investigation: N/A

Provide any additional details or instructions for the investigation: Sharon has long dark brown hair. The man was wearing a vulture mask and then a tiger mask to disguise his identity. The man is undoubtedly a cannibal so if you approach him you must proceed very carefully.

PREVENTATIVE MEASURES

What preventive measures can be implemented to avoid similar incidents in the future?: Security should be posted at the entry of the Beachwood Place Mall to prevent cannibals in animal masks from entering.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Is there any additional information or comments you would like to include?: I am concerned that the cannibals in animal masks who stalk women through the Beachwood Place Mall will prevent me from meeting my sales targets for the Cosmetics department of Higbee’s (Beachwood Place Mall location).

REPORT FILER

Name: Karen Skladany

Title/employer: Jr. Retail Sales Associate/Higbee’s 

Phone number: (216) 012-1983

Beachwood Place Mall Safety Incident Report 

INCIDENT OVERVIEW

Date of incident: June 5, 1983

Time of incident: 3:49 PM

Location of incident: Cosmetics section, Higbee’s (Beachwood Place Mall location) 

Briefly describe the incident: Cannibal in the mall (again) 

INCIDENT CATEGORY

Select the appropriate category for the incident:

☐ Slip, trip, or fall

☐ Equipment or Machinery Malfunction

☐ Hazardous material exposure

☐ Fire or explosion

☐ Personal injury

☑ Near miss (incident with potential for harm but no actual injury)

☑ Other (specify): Cannibal in the mall (again)

PERSON(S) INVOLVED

Name(s) of the person(s) directly involved in the incident: Sharon, Janice, unknown man

Job title(s) of the person(s) involved: Customers—Cosmetics section, Higbee’s

Describe the incident in more detail: Sharon (returning customer, please see the Beachwood Place Mall Safety Incident Reports I filed on January 10, February 5, and March 28) and Janice (returning customer, please see the Beachwood Place Mall Safety Incident Reports I filed on February 22, April 26, and May 13) came to the mall today to review our perfume selection. 

Due to the cannibals who follow them throughout the store and their familiarity with the Cosmetics selection at Higbee’s (Beachwood Place Mall location), I observed them from a distance. 

Janice told Sharon that one of our new perfumes smells like her “crazy” Aunt Kate and recounted a story about the time her aunt attempted to dry her pet poodle in a microwave oven. While Janice told this story, a man wearing a dental manakin mask and a suit stood behind them and breathed loudly. Sharon then identified that we had their favorite perfume in stock and asked Janice to buy two bottles of it and meet her outside. I escorted Janice to the checkout counter and then to the exit of the store where Sharon was waiting for her. Then I watched the cannibal follow them down the escalator to the mall exit. I have no doubt this cannibal will attempt to kill and eat them.

Describe the nature and extent of the injuries (if any): Psychological distress (ongoing), serious concern (still ongoing) 

Describe the treatments provided (if any): N/A 

IMMEDIATE ACTIONS TAKEN

Describe the immediate actions taken to address the incident and ensure safety: I watched Sharon and Janice leave down the escalator. By the time they were out of my sight they had not yet been attacked. 

CONTRIBUTING FACTORS

Were there any contributing factors to the incident? If yes, select the relevant factors:

☑ Inadequate training

☐ Equipment failure

☑ Unsafe work conditions

☐ Human error

☑ Lack of supervision

☐ Communication breakdown

☑ Other (specify): Cannibal in the mall (again)

INVESTIGATION

Will a further investigation be conducted?: 

☐  Yes

☐ No

It has not been in the past but I strongly feel this should change     

If yes, specify the person(s) responsible for the investigation: Beachwood Place Mall security team? Beachwood Police Department? The Large Real Estate Investment Trust who owns the Beachwood Place Mall? Private investigator hired by Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Higbee's Herbert Strawbridge? Someone is liable for this.

Provide any additional details or instructions for the investigation: Sharon has long dark brown hair. Janice has medium length curly brown hair. The man was wearing a dental manakin mask to disguise his identity, as all cannibals do. 

PREVENTATIVE MEASURES

What preventive measures can be implemented to avoid similar incidents in the future?: At this point I believe the Beachwood Place Mall should close.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Is there any additional information or comments you would like to include?: I am baffled and incensed that no one else is concerned about this issue. And, since this is all you pigs seem to care about, I strongly believe that the deluge of cannibals in the Beachwood Place Mall will prevent me from meeting my sales targets for the Cosmetics department of Higbee’s (Beachwood Place Mall location).

REPORT FILER

Name: Karen Skladany

Title/employer: Jr. Retail Sales Associate/Higbee’s 

Phone number: (216) 012-1983