Chapter Text
Sakusa woke up in bed with the warmth of some arms hugging him. Sakusa opened his eyes, adjusting them to the light coming from the window. When his eyes finally got used to the light, he saw who was in bed with him. It was weird, in front of him weren't the soft blonde locks of the person he loved, instead there was a long dark mane, that's when Sakusa remembered what he was living now.
You may be asking, what's happening? Well, let me tell you.
11 MONTHS AGO...
Atsumu and Sakusa were the imperfect couple. It's true they did have problems and that trust wasn't their forte, but they loved each other and, they would always try to talk things out (even if sometimes it didn't work, which led them to breaking up plenty of times).
They were happy with each other, even with their problems; they maintained their relationship for years, but there was a problem: Sakusa's family. Sakusa had told Atsumu from the beginning of their relationship that his family was very religious and very, very homophobic so they would have to keep it a secret from them.
At first, Atsumu was okay with it, he understood that some families were like that and he didn't want Sakusa to get in trouble with his parents because of him. For 6 years, Atsumu and Kiyoomi kept their relationship hidden from the world; the only people that knew what they had were the Miya's, Suna, and Komori, anyone apart from them had no idea that they were a couple.
A random day, at midnight, Sakusa got a text from his sister, they didn't text much, he was expecting to be invited to a family meeting which wouldn't be something unusual, he was already getting ready to reject the offer when he opened the text.
Kashiri.
Hello Kiyo.
Mother and Father are organizing a family gathering.
They said it is crucial that you assist.
This was unusual normally Kiyoomi's parents would just invite him to the family gatherings but never actually force him to go if he didn't want to. This gave him a bad feeling about the situation but he thought that maybe it was just him overthinking things, they probably just want to discuss something or give an important announcement, right?
Kiyoomi.
Hi Shiri.
When will the gathering be?
Kashiri.
It's going to be on Tuesday at 5 PM.
They said it's really important for you to come.
Kiyoomi.
Okay, I'll be there I guess.
See you then.
Kashiri.
See you.
After that Sakusa left his phone on his nightstand and turn to his side to see the person besides him. There he was, there was Atsumu, peacefully sleeping on top of his arm. He smiled softly and moved to turn their night light, then he shifted slowly in position, wrapping his arms around Atsumu to keep him in comfort.
"I love you Atsu," Sakusa whispered, while placing his forehead on Atsumu's "I know you're asleep, but I just want to tell you that I love you and that I'm never going to leave your side, I promise I'll do everything and anything I can to stay with you forever, I'm never letting you go."
Sakusa placed a small peck on Atsumu's forehead and closed his eyes to slowly start drifting in to sleep. The next morning everything went as normal, during breakfast Sakusa told Atsumu about his parents doing an important gathering that he had to go obligatory.
"So ya have to go obligatory? Can't ya just stay here with me?" Atsumu said, his voice grating. "Dontcha think it's a bit weird they want ya to go so urgently? I mean they usually invite ya but they had never force ya to go." Atsumu added.
"Yeah, I also find it strange that they want me to go so urgently, but I guess they have some important to say or something like that." Sakusa replied, a hint of anxiousness in his voice, he hadn't think it correctly, there is no important thing that has happened, at least not that he knew, then, why would they want him to go? Do they know about Atsumu? No, that couldn't be. His father would had already killed him by now if they knew.
Atsumu noticed Sakusa zoning out, clearly getting lost in thoughts, he didn't know what he was thinking but it was clearly not something good for the way his face had completely changed to one of pure worry. "Omi?" Atsumu said softly just loud enough to get Kiyoomi out of his thoughts.
Sakusa shook his head a bit to throw his thoughts aside. "Ah, yeah sorry, did you say something?" Sakusa mumbled a little off from himself. "Ya zoned out, are you okay?" Atsumu replied with soft voice that had a small hint of worry in it.
Sakusa stayed silent for a while, not sure of what to answer. "Yes, I'm okay, just got a bit caught up in my own thoughts." Kiyoomi answered, unsure if he should tell Atsumu his worries or not, because he knew it's important for them to talk things no matter how insignificant they are, but telling this kind of things was never something that he did during his whole life, so it was difficult for him tell his thoughts out loud and even more difficult when it came to his family.
Atsumu saw the worry and doubt on Sakusa's eyes, it was unusual for him because ever since they met each other Kiyoomi has never been one of showing his emotions too much, so it felt weird to see him like this. "Omi, is there something wrong? You seem kind of worried, ya know you can tell me anything, right?" Atsumu exclaimed with a tone that expressed worry and fondness towards the man infront of him.
"No, everything is fine, don't worry about it, I was just thinking of what my parents might say, or why they are demanding me to go to the reunion. It just feels strange." Sakusa said, trying to avoid the topic as much as possible, he was sure that whatever his parents wanted, it wasn't something good, he was sure of that, otherwise why would they want him to go to that meeting, why is it so important for him to be there?
All these kind of thoughts were filling Sakusa's mind until the day of the gathering, he was consumed by all the thoughts and bad endings or situations that the meeting could get him into. For some reason, every time he tried to think about something good happening in the meeting, it always seem like it was pure fantasy or it eventually had a bad ending.
Atsumu easily noticed the change in Kiyoomi's behavior, how he was starting to zone out very often, how he was awake at late hours of the night, how his eyes reflected pure worry. He wanted to ask what was wrong, to ask what was happening with him, to reassure him that he could trust him and tell all his worries to him, that he won't judge or laugh about it no matter what it is, but he decided to stay quiet, he knew that Sakusa would eventually tell him, right?
The days passed and everything was "normal", or atleast that's what they would like to say because the tension in between them was almost palpable, they were weird, but they didn't talk it out before the day came.
Tuesday, August 06, 20##, 3:45 PM
Sakusa was starting to get ready to go to the meeting, his eyes seemed blank, like he didn't have a soul but Atsumu knew that it was pure worry, like he was about to go to his own death. Atsumu barely knew about Sakusa's family since Kiyoomi never wanted to talk about them, the only thing he knew was that they were religious and homophobic, which he was almost sure that it was one of the reasons that Kiyoomi looked so fearful about going to meet them. But what if there was something else? Something that Sakusa didn't tell him, like, he has never talked about his siblings, he just says that they are way older than him, but what if he didn't want to talk about them for a bad reason?
At this point, both of the man were worrying, Sakusa because he is sure something wrong is going to happen and Atsumu because he kept thinking of many reasons why Kiyoomi looks so fret about a family meeting. Time passed and Sakusa was already done dressing up. He was wearing a dark blue button up shirt and deep black dress trousers accompanied by a also black belt. He looked anxious and it was noticeable for anyone that knew him in the slightest.
4:30 PM
"I'm going now, Atsu." Sakusa muttered just loud enough for Atsumu, who was a few steps away from him, to hear. Atsumu quickly stood up from the couch were he was seating and made his way to Sakusa. He gently grabbed both of his hand with his own and looked Kiyoomi directly into his eyes, he could see all of the bad thoughts in his head, even though he didn't exactly knew what they were.
"It's going to be okay, Omi" That was all that Atsumu could get out of his throat, he pressed his forehead against Sakusa's and let go of Sakusa's hands to wrap his arms around Kiyoomi's neck. "Everything going to be alright." Atsumu whispered, he didn't know what had Kiyoomi so worried, but he wanted him to just calm down.
Kiyoomi planted a soft kiss on Atsumu's lips and then a small peck on his forehead before backing away from Atsumu, he felt frightened of what was going to happen in the meeting but right now with Atsumu in front of him, he couldn't help the soft smile that was forming in the corner of his mouth.
"I love you, Tsumu, so much" Kiyoomi said as he turned around and started to walk to the front door to leave, he paused for a moment and looked back to where Atsumu is, he can hear the slight mumble saying 'I love you' back to him. He feels a familiar warm on his chest that he started feeling ever since he met Atsumu and after that he grabbed the doorknob and opened the door to leave the apartment.
Atsumu stared as Kiyoomi left the apartment, he was all alone now, all by himself to think about all the thing that can go wrong, about what his "Omi" will have to pass through, he knows that it's just a family gathering but the behavior Kiyoomi has had this past days wasn't normal, and it started the day he got told about the meeting, so if Kiyoomi is worried about something it's about that, but why? Why is he so worried? Why is he so scared of going to see his family? He doesn't know, but all he could do is hope that everything goes smoothly and that Kiyoomi will come back home with a smile on his face and everything will go back to normal again.
But Atsumu can't help but think about the few times Sakusa went to see his family since they started dating, every time he came back with a look of sadness as if a tragedy had happened but he never knew the reason for it. It was all too strange for him but he didn't want to pressure Sakusa to say anything he didn't feel comfortable about sharing, he knew that everything had his time.
Meanwhile Kiyoomi was driving to his parents house, a mansion far from where he lives, he checks the time 4:49, he didn't know why the closer he got to the place the more anxious he got. After 10 more minutes driving he finally got to his destination, he took a long deep breath before leaving his car to enter the house. He walked to the door and clicked the doorbell for someone to come and open the door for him.
A few minutes passed before the door finally unlocked in front of him. He was kind of relieved when he saw that his sister was the one to open the door for him. "Hi Shiri." Kiyoomi said, greeting her as she gave him permission to enter the house. "Hello Kiyo.* Kashiri, Kiyoomi's sister, greet him back while closing the door once Kiyoomi was already inside of the house.
Kashiri guided Kiyoomi to where their family was, everyone was already sitting down food already served in each plate, Kiyoomi went to sit down on the empty place, aka, his place in the table, it was across from his father which was one of the reasons he hated coming to this type of meetings because his father's gaze was always on him, like he was judging him in silence. Kashiri went to sit down next to a guy, Tokeri, his husband. It wasn't actually a marriage that happened because they wanted it was more because of convenience.
You see, the Sakusa family was always very conservative, always with the mentality of 'God created women and men and they belong together' so when Kashiri tried to tell them that she was bisexual, explaining how she was seeing a girl and wanted to introduce her to them, they almost beat her to death. Kiyoomi can still remember that day clearly.
14 years ago....
Kiyoomi was a 10 year old boy, Kashiri was 17, and Ritsuo, Kiyoomi's brother, was 19.
"Mother, Father, can we talk for a moment?" Kashiri asked them with her voice shaking, scared of what's going to happen. Sakusa's parents looked at eachother confused about what their daughter wanted to say. "Okay." they both agreed in unison.
Kashiri sat them down on the living room and took a deep breath before speaking up. "Okay, first of all, please listen to me before you say something...." Kishiri paused a bit as her parents nodded doubtfully. "I know how you guys are and what you guys think but... I met a girl in my school and we talked for a some months now and... We started dating for a few weeks now and I wanted you guys to meet her."
Kashiri had closed her eyes while she spoke but she opened them when she felt a strong pressure in her throat. When she opened her eyes all she could see was his father in front of her, grabbing her neck and pulling her up until her feet could no longer touch the ground,she could see her father screaming at her though she couldn't even understand correctly what he was saying, all she could do was try to scream for help and get some air but she couldn't.
Kashiri had became unconscious at some point but that didn't stop his father from beating her until she was bleeding at a point were it made any person doubt if she was even alive. Kiyoomi could remember himself hearing how her sister was suffering but he couldn't do anything since he was just a child plus Ritsuo had hid him in his room in case anything happened while he went out to try and help Kashiri. After an hour or so Ritsuo had came back to the room with Kashiri in his arms but didn't let Kiyoomi see her since he didn't want to traumatize him any more. The next memory Kiyoomi has is waiting for her sister's body to react, she was covered in bandages and Ritsuo came to where Sakusa was sitting after he had treated his own bruises.
"Is Shiri going to be okay?" Kiyoomi asked worriedly, he couldn't take his eyes off of her sister. Ritsuo sighed, he wanted to say yes but deep down he knew that the possibility of her dying were high. "I don't know little one, but you don't have to worry, okay? I'll take care of everything, I promise." Ritsuo said as he grabbed his hand.
That was the moment Kiyoomi knew that if one day he turned out liking his same gender he would never tell his parents, he knew it was the right thing for him.
BACK TO THE PRESENT.
Kiyoomi had zoned out for way to long and he just came back because he was being called by none other than his father, that voice that had traumatized him for years and years. "Kiyoomi Sakusa!! Are you listening?" Sawato, Kiyoomi's water, exclaimed in a tone that if Kiyoomi didn't knew him enough he would think he's about to get screamed in the face.
"Yes, Father. I am sorry, I got lost in my own thoughts." Kiyoomi replied in a small voice, something that always happened when Kiyoomi talked to his father, he felt inferior. He can't even remember when this feeling started but it surely didn't have an end, no matter how much Kiyoomi grew, he always felt less than everyone in his family, maybe because he is what his father for a lot of years called him "The disappointment and error of this family."
"Well, pay more attention because I have something important to tell you." Sawato demanded, Kiyoomi could only nod as he tried to not to snap at his father for his bad treatment. "You are going to marry Hamisu." Kiyoomi went pale, 'What? No.' was what he wanted to yell, he looked around to his siblings who were sitting next to their respective partners, both of them chosen by their parents, his siblings were noticeably uncomfortable and disgusted by his father's words.
"What?" That was the only thing Kiyoomi could get out of his throat as he looked directly at his father. Sawato looked up meeting his eyes directly with Kiyoomi's. Kiyoomi could feel his whole body shiver, his father's stare on him so directly always made him feel so little. "You are going to marry Hamisu." Sawato repeat deadly serious.
Hamisu Masaya, daughter of one of his parent's rich friends. A girl that always showed interest in Kiyoomi even though he never reciprocated, and now he has to marry her?! Hell no. He already had a partner, the person of his dreams, his Atsu. What was he supposed to do with him? He wasn't going to break up with him, not now, not ever, but he couldn't tell his father that he had a boyfriend, he could lie and say he already had a girlfriend but they would just ask to meet her and Kiyoomi didn't have any female friends to pretend like they were his partner, but he couldn't just accept this marriage, he didn't want to.
"But-" Kiyoomi tried to speak up but was immediately cut off by his father's voice. "No buts Kiyoomi, you are marrying her, the papers are already signed, you guys are going to get married in a few months, end of discussion." Sawato exclaimed like he didn't even care about what his son wanted to say or if he even wanted this marriage.
Kiyoomi stared at his mom and siblings to try and find support from any of them but his mother just stared at her plate ignoring Kiyoomi's gaze, his brother did the same, and his sister just shook her head as if telling him ''sorry''. Kiyoomi didn't know what to do with all this, he was going to stop it, he wasn't going to marry someone he didn't even know correctly.
Sashiba, Kiyoomi's Mother, cleared her throat trying to soothe the tension that had been generated before, it didn't work, the air was too tense and the angry aura emanating from Kiyoomi was so strong you could almost feel it yourself. "Your sister will send you Hamisu's number, and you guys will go on some dates that us and the Masaya's have already planned." Sawato made a pause to look at Kiyoomi again, the annoyence in his face notorious from how his son was acting. "And don't even try to not go to them because we will ask and have a person making sure you go. See this as your opportunity to meet her, so you guys can atleast know each other better before the wedding." Sawato finished talking not waiting for an answer from Kiyoomi.
The rest of the meeting was mostly silent, only interrupted by Sawato and Tokeri's, Kiyoomi's brother-in-law, making small conversation sometimes adding Ritsuo to the conversation. Kiyoomi excused himself to go outside to the backyard to take some air, in reality he wanted to think of how to stop this whole business. When he got out he let out a breath he didn't knew he was holding, he sat down in some chair they had from when they did meetings in there and curled himself in there.
How was he supposed to explain this to Atsumu? What is going to happened with them? He doesn't want this, he can't do this. He can't leave Atsumu, he needs him like the air he breathes. Kiyoomi got out of his thoughts when he heard two familiar voices close to him, it was his siblings. They both sat down beside each side of Kiyoomi, Kashiri was the first one to speak up. "I'm sorry Kiyo... I tried to stop them from doing this but they refused to listen." Kiyoomi felt a tear roll down his cheek as he heard his sister talk, he knew she had been on the same place as him a few years ago, as well as his brother had also been.
"I know you don't want this, and I'm sorry you also have to go through this, we both tried our best for them to stop it but you know how they are..." Ritsuo paused to take a breath, he knew this was going to be very difficult for Kiyoomi. "You know you can talk to us right? We're here for you, Kiyo." Ritsuo reassured Kiyoomi.
Kiyoomi listen to him but he was unable to answer, he had to much things in mind, so many questions, too many problems, but there was no answer or solution to any of them. He didn't even notice when a few tears turned into a full sobbing. His siblings looked at him with pity, they didn't want his younger brother to pass the same pain they had to because of their parents, but deep down they knew there was nothing they could do to help it.
Kashiri hugged Kiyoomi for a while before pulling away from him to see his face. "Do you want some time alone, Kiyo?" Kashiri tried to ask sweetly even though her voice was also cracking. Kiyoomi nodded slightly, finally staring up at his siblings with tears on his eyes. Kashiri and Ritsuo gave Kiyoomi one last final hug before going back inside to spend time with their parents.
Kiyoomi stayed outside for a while, drowning in his thoughts and fears, everything felt wrong like it was a nightmare, one that he was absolutely desperate to wake up from, but no matter how much he tried to think of it as a bad dream and that he would woke up next to Atsumu hugging him tightly as he calmly whispered sweet things to him in the ear.
But no matter all the thinking he was doing to try and convince himself that this was fake, he was fully aware that this situation was real, and that he had no way to escape it. He thought about the promise he had made to Atsumu the day his sister had texted him.
"I'm never gonna leave your side, I promise."
What meaning did those words have now? Was everything actually going to break apart because of this? No, right? He could talk with Atsumu, or maybe try to escape to another place, one that was far, very far away from his family. All those thoughts ended up in crisis. Kiyoomi was going in crisis.
After relaxing himself a bit, he finally entered the house again to sit down in that table in which everything felt fake, everything was fake. Kiyoomi spent two more hours listening to the small conversation that some times included him. He still felt the urge to scream at his father's face that he wasn't going to marry anyone and that he already had his own significant other, but it all stayed in his mind.
When his brother and wife finally excused themselves to leave, Kiyoomi did too, he said the drive home was kind of long and he didn't want to be home so late.
When he was saying goodbye to everyone he approached his sister. Kashiri hugged him softly, the same way she did when they were young and she knew that he was afraid. The feeling of the hug simply broke Kiyoomi inside, but he kept his composure. "Text me if you need to talk, okay?" Kashiri whispered in Kiyoomi's ear before finally pulling away from him. Kiyoomi could only nod.
Kiyoomi got to his car, he couldn’t even drive, he was too stuck on his thoughts to even move. He stayed in his car for at least another 15 minutes just thinking, planning what his next move would be. Is he supposed to tell Atsumu? Or should he just keep it a secret? He was sure he could eventually escape this or convince his parents to stop everything, right?
Kiyoomi finally started his car engine and started driving. The drive home was going to be long since he lived kind of far away from his parents place, but that actually worked in his favor because he would have more time to think of what to do with this whole situation.
Kiyoomi had his eyes on the road the whole time, or at least that’s what he believed because his mind was completely off for the whole ride. When Kiyoomi less noticed he was already in front of his and Atsumu’s apartment. He opened the door gently in case Atsumu was already asleep.
To no one’s surprise, Atsumu was still awake, still in the living room, as if he had never moved and had just waited for Kiyoomi to come home, maybe he actually did that, Kiyoomi will never know.Atsumu turned to look at Kiyoomi, in his eyes he could already sense that something was wrong, they seemed empty. Atsumu stood up from where he was and walked up to Kiyoomi.
“How was everything, Omi-Omi?” Atsumu asked with a bit of concern in his voice. “Everything alright?”
Kiyoomi hugged Atsumu without a single word being said, Atsumu hugged him back. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Atsumu backed away and asked again if everything was alright, but once again there was no answer. They went to sleep like that, without talking about anything that happened in that meeting.
‘Tomorrow is going to be better.’ Those were Atsumu’s last thoughts before drifting to sleep with Kyoomi by his side.