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"Any plans for New Year's?" Tachibana asks.
Ono looks up, trying to hear him over the running water. His hands are wrinkled from washing antique dishes. Tachibana's back is turned to him, wiping down the counter with wide, firm strokes. Ono spares a second to watch his strong shoulders bunch and move beneath the fine linen of his dress shirt before he says,
"Sorry, what was that?"
"New Year's," Tachibana repeats, louder. His scrubbing doesn't stop. "Anything planned?"
"Oh," he replies.
Ono returns to the dirty dishes, focusing on the suds enveloping his hands, the feel of the delicate sherry glass warming against his skin as he scrubs. His mind rewinds through the years, dozens of January Firsts. This time last year he'd been with someone, and they'd visited the shrine with their circle of friends, and it had been good. Too old to stay up for the first sunrise, they'd all said their goodbyes promptly after midnight, and Ono had managed a sleepy fumble with his boyfriend before they both slept in 'til noon.
But Ono's been unattached for months now, and he hasn't been to the bar in nearly as long. His mind goes back further to the odd New Year's days he spent alone, sitting on the hard floor of his living room with all the blinds drawn, and he swallows.
"Nothing," he said. "A quiet day at home, maybe."
Tachibana doesn't reply to this. Ono moves through the rest of the dishes methodically; it's just the ones too delicate for the dishwasher, and it doesn't take him long to finish up. Tachibana comes over to help him dry, handing him a towel just as Ono is starting to cast around for one.
"Thanks," Ono says.
"No plans, huh?" Tachibana says. "On a rare day off?"
Ono blinks, catching up the thread of conversation again, before he nods. "No. No plans."
Silence falls over them again. Whenever Tachibana extends a hand, Ono places a dripping-wet cup or plate into it. Tachibana moves away periodically to put things back in their places, clearing space on the counter for more newly-dried plates. It's not the common routine, because usually it's Ono and Kanda doing it, but Kanda's away studying again. Closing up the bakery together has come to feel familiar over the last two weeks. They don't speak, but they’ve never had to say much to understand each other. It's always been like that between them, ever since the shop opened.
Tachibana waits until he's putting the last dishes away to say, "Come with me, then."
Ono's head jerks up. "Excuse me?"
"My parents offered me usage of the winter chalet, up in Hokkaido. Kanda's away anyway, and Chikage's going to be spending New Year's with Sakurako's family, so I was thinking of closing up the shop for a week. But it wouldn't feel right to leave you at odds for all that time."
"I do have things I do besides bake," Ono says, amused.
Tachibana turns back to him, one eyebrow raised. "Even someone like you couldn't sleep with random men for an entire week straight."
Ono blinks. Try me, rests on the tip of his tongue. "Things besides baking and picking up men," he says instead.
"Oh? Like what?" Tachibana rests against the freshly-cleaned counter, folding his arms. The motion makes his bare forearms stand out, his sleeves rolled neatly to his elbows. Ono tugs his gaze back to Tachibana's face.
He opens his mouth, and then pauses. His mind flashes back to his last New Year's alone: the ceiling hazy with cigarette smoke, watching porn and jerking off just to feel something. The silence stretches a beat too long. Then Tachibana snorts, and the memory breaks apart.
"Come with me," Tachibana says. "I'll teach you how to ski. You can try hot chocolate with fresh Hokkaido milk."
Ono licks his lips without meaning to. Tachibana's smirk widens.
"When else will I go to Hokkaido for free?" Ono says, lightly. "Sure. As you said, it's not like I have anything else to do."
Tachibana doesn't comment on Ono's assumption that he'd pay for all of it, because it's true. "You could act a little more grateful," he says.
"Thank you," Ono says, and both of them blink, surprised by the genuine honesty in his voice. He hesitates for a moment before adding on, "It's very kind of you to offer."
Tachibana's lips purse. He pulls away from the edge of the counter, moving to turn off the lights. "Of course," he says. "I'll send you information on the tickets as soon as I've purchased them."
--
Ono is terrible at skiing. He was terrible at sports growing up, preferring daydreaming to gym class, and this has not changed in adulthood. They're not even on an incline yet and he still wobbles, terrified by how the weight of the boots and skis seems to bolt his feet to the ground. "Tachibana, I can't," he cries, flinging his arms out to clutch onto Tachibana beside him. Tachibana gives a small oof. "I'm going to fall!"
"Not me, grab the ski poles," Tachibana says gruffly, shoving Ono back upright. For a moment Ono's body weight swings too far the other way, but Tachibana's hands remain on his waist, steadying him until he regains his balance. "The poles," he says again, and Ono remembers that he's holding two ski poles in his hands. Through the thick mittens, he can barely feel them in the first place. He squeezes their handles anyway, driving them into the ground and trying to balance between them. Tachibana's hands lift away once he steadies.
"Good," Tachibana says. His voice is close to Ono's ear. "God, I've never seen anyone this bad."
"I'm trying," Ono snaps. "Don't make fun of me!"
Tachibana hums. "Try harder, then," he says. "Balance just like that for a minute. On your own. If you start to fall, I won't help you."
Ono grits his teeth. "I can do it," he says.
So he stands there, swaying. As the seconds pass, he feels himself tip to one side, and then the other, but he always manages to fight back upright with the help of the ski poles. Tachibana stands beside him, silently judgemental in a way that makes the hair on the back of Ono's neck stand up.
He's always liked being watched.
"It has to have been a minute by now," he says.
"Nope," Tachibana says. "Thirty more seconds."
"Come on—"
"You're going to be on the skis for a lot longer than one minute!" he snaps. "Stop complaining."
Ono subsides, grumbling. As the time passes, his body begins to steady. He straightens a little, surprised. The skis slip a little in the snow, but he's able to catch himself with the poles, and he doesn't fall.
Tachibana makes an approving noise. "Now try to feel your ski edges. Lean a little towards me."
Ono's face scrunches with concentration as he tips his upper body to the left. His eyes closed, he follows Tachibana's voice: "Bend your knees. Lean a little more. A little bit more. There, do you feel how your weight is balanced on the edge of the skis? Do you feel them digging in?"
Ono's eyes fly open, jerking with surprise. "I do!" The movement takes him too far, his tenuous balance shattering, and Tachibana grabs him as he lists sideways.
"Whoa!" he shouts. "Easy, you can't do sudden movements like that!"
Ono is falling, too far overbalanced. His heavy feet are still stuck in the boots as his body twists, causing a flare of panic to burst inside his chest. He gropes for Tachibana and they both topple to the ground, cushioned by their heavy coats and the snow surrounding them. Tachibana's arms are wrapped around him, one around his shoulders, one cradling his head. His cheek is pressed to the cold nylon of Tachibana's jacket.
"You all right?" Tachibana asks. When Ono looks up, he can see his concerned scowl.
"I..." Ono takes a quick breath, in and out, taking stock. One of his feet has snapped free of its ski, the other turned in the scuffle so that it's in-line with his body. His body feels fine, and none of his joints hurt, but his heart is still pounding. "Yes. I'm okay."
Relief crosses Tachibana's face, quickly followed by irritation. "Get off me, then, if you're fine. Jeez, you scared me." Ono struggles, but doesn't know how to get up with one ski flopping awkwardly; Tachibana steadies him again, helping him sit up with a somewhat-comforting narrative of complaints and scolding, before he moves to help him snap the ski off and get to his feet.
Tachibana kneels on the ground beside him, aligning the skis so he can snap into them again. Ono rests a hand on his shoulder for balance as he steps in.
"One more time," Tachibana says.
"I really don't think it's necessary—"
"You came all the way to Hokkaido," Tachibana cuts him off, "so you're going to learn how to ski. One more time."
"...Do you think I can?"
Tachibana rolls his eyes. "Five year olds can learn how to ski. Of course I think you can."
Ono smothers the urge to squirm, both embarrassed and pleased.
--
By the time they return to the chalet, Ono is aching in muscles he didn't know he had. Still, he managed to go very slowy down the smallest training hill, the one they normally used for day-one clases, and he’s feeling very proud of himself. Even Tachibana seemed pleased, clapping him on the back with a grin when he slid to a stop.
There's hired help at the house, which—after a moment of thought—doesn't surprise Ono at all. Still, it's weird to be bowed over and to have his coat taken. "Your bath is ready upstairs, sir," the servant says.
He stammers out a thanks and then follows the servant to the second-floor bathroom—all pale stone tile and polished mirrors but still Japanese in design, the bath area separated off. The bath is already full, lavender-scented, and steaming. He takes a quick shower before sinking into the water with a grateful groan, luxuriating in the warmth.
After about twenty minutes, he hears a knock on the door. "It's me," Tachibana says. "I brought your change of clothes."
"Come in," Ono calls, his voice echoing strangely off the room's hard surfaces. There's a click, and then he can see Tachibana reflected in the mirror past the glass door.
"I'm surprised you didn't ask a servant to bring it," Ono says.
Tachibana keeps his gaze studiously trained on the fabric bundle in his hands, setting it on a low bench. "I thought you might not want a stranger going through your things."
Suddenly, Ono's thoughts are filled with Tachibana going through his clothes drawers, Tachibana's hands settling on his clean and folded underwear. A flash of heat goes through him. Stop, he hisses at himself.
"I appreciate that," he says.
Tachibana pauses. "So was I right?"
"I'm sorry?"
"I thought you might feel uncomfortable if I went through your stuff, too," Tachibana continues, "but based on what I know of you, I thought a stranger would be worse. You've always been a rather private person."
Ono blinks, the hot feeling dissolving into a strange ache. "You're right," he says. Tachibana nods and starts to move to the door. Emboldened by Tachibana's downturned head, his slightly hunched shoulders, he adds: "I don't mind, if it's you."
Tachibana falls still. "I see," he says. There's a small pause, before Tachibana gives a minute shake of his head. "Sorry for interrupting your bath. Please take your time."
The bathroom door closes behind him with a soft click.
Ono sighs, tipping his head back. "Easy, Yusuke," he murmurs to himself.
--
Ono wakes to the sound of screaming.
He bolts up in bed, his heart in his throat. The room is unfamiliar but empty, the shadows of the canopied bed looming over him. He cowers for a moment before another scream cuts through the air, and he recognizes Tachibana's voice.
His body is up and moving before he can think, flinging his bedroom door open and charging across the hall. Tachibana's door isn't locked, and in another moment he's at Tachibana's bedside, taking in the sight of the sleeping man thrashing and writhing in the sheets. "Tachibana," he calls, but Tachibana's only answer is a whimper, a small frightened animal noise that cuts Ono to the heart. "Tachibana!" he tries, louder, and then, "Tachibana, wake up!"
He climbs into bed beside Tachibana and between the dip of the mattress and Ono's shout, Tachibana finally awakens. His eyes are dazed and terrified, and before Ono can say anything, Tachibana's arms are flung around his shoulders and he's dragged into a hug.
Ono blinks, his arms coming up around Tachibana automatically to return the gesture. Tachibana's whole body is shaking, his face pressed against the curve where Ono's neck meets his shoulder. He can feel the wetness of tears there. Blinking fast, he starts to gently rock them both on instinct. "Shh, shh," he murmurs. "It was just a nightmare. You're okay. You're safe. It's just me, Ono."
"Ono...?" Tachibana says, his voice slurred, before he tenses. "Ono?" he says again, sharper.
Ono squeezes him in closer, and Tachibana doesn't fight him, just lets himself get bundled more firmly into Ono's hold. "It's okay," he says. "We're at your family's chalet in Hokkaido. We were skiing all day, remember? You're safe."
The feel of their bodies pressed so tightly together is making something dark and interested coil in Ono's gut. He swallows, trying to force the feeling away. Tachibana's breathing is steadying, and Ono tries to match it, willing both of them to be calm.
"Ono," Tachibana says eventually. His voice is rough, but approaching something that sounds more like his usual self. "I'm okay. You don't have to..."
"Do you want me to let go of you?" Ono asks.
He can feel Tachibana's response as an infinitesimal ratcheting up of tension. "...You're pushing yourself."
"I'm not," Ono says firmly. "And you just woke up from a terrible nightmare. I don't mind."
There's another small pause before Tachibana gives a small, bitter laugh. "I'm used to them, anyway. You really don't have to."
Ono's brow furrows. "Used to them? Nightmares?"
Tachibana nods against Ono's sleep-shirt.
"That's terrible," Ono says. "Have you seen a doctor for them?"
Tachibana snorts. "More than I can count," he says. "They tried all kinds of medications. The only ones that worked turned me into a zombie. I decided the nightmares were better than feeling dead all the time."
Ono tries to imagine Tachibana, always with a smile or a frown hovering around the edges of his mouth, just going through the motions without any expression at all. The thought makes him shiver. "I'm so sorry."
"Nah," Tachibana says, shifting, "that's just life. What's a nightmare or two? Worse things happen to people every day."
Ono hums. He gives Tachibana another brief squeeze. Tachibana huffs and starts to pull away.
"I don't want your pity," he says, rough.
"It's not pity."
Tachibana lifts his head. "What is it, then?"
Ono looks back, and can't answer.
They stare at each other for a moment, unable to read each other's expressions in the dark. After a moment Tachibana shakes his head. "Thanks," he says. His arms unwind from around Ono's shoulders and he pulls away. "Sorry for waking you up. I'll be okay."
Words are crowding inside Ono's mouth. In response, his mouth presses into a thin line. He leans forward, brushing Tachibana's sleep-mussed bangs out of the way, and presses a somber kiss to his forehead. Tachibana tenses, but holds still until Ono pulls back.
"Good night," he says.
"Good night," Tachibana returns, his voice lilting up at the end into something that's almost a question. His eyes are on Ono’s, searching.
"See you tomorrow," Ono says, and slips back to his bedroom. His mouth tingles for a long time.