Chapter Text
“Guess what the top comment on my most recent video is?” Simon said, setting his phone on his stomach to look up at his boyfriend.
He was sprawled across the couch, his head in Wille’s lap, while the other man ran his fingers through his hair. His curls would surely be a frizzy mess by now, but he didn’t care.
“The video of you listening to your new song from the studio?” Wille asked.
Simon hummed.
“Hm…something along the lines of ‘I need him biblically?’ which, honestly, is fair,” Wille teased.
Simon snorted and playfully swatted at his chest.
“Believe it or not, most people aren’t horndogs on main over me.”
“I’m simultaneously offended that the people don’t appreciate your beauty enough and relieved I don’t have competition.”
“Aw, my pretty Wille, there’s no competition.”
Wille smiled down at him and started to bend forward.
“Besides,” Simon continued, “like I’d ever fall for someone from TikTok simping over me…”
“Yeah, you have to be careful,” Wille said softly, lips inches from Simon’s. “You never know what weirdos you’ll attract that way.”
Simon inhaled sharply as Wille moved closer slowly, his eyes fluttered shut, and he stretched up to meet him.
Instead of feeling their lips collide, his eyes flew open when he felt a sudden wetness on his jaw. He tried to pull back with a screech, but Wille had one hand in his hair still, and the other was lovingly cradling his face as he licked up his cheek, ending with a dramatically loud kiss to his temple.
“EW, ugh, Wille!” Simon flailed on the couch.
“Like I said, baby, you’ll find total weirdos that way.”
“I hate you,” Simon huffed, pouting and crossing his arms.
“I love you too,” Wille beamed. “Now, what was the top comment?”
Simon sat up abruptly and scooted down the couch.
“Nope, never mind, doesn’t even matter anymore,” he said.
“Simmeeee,” Wille whined, reaching out to try to pull his boyfriend back to him. “No, tell me!”
“Willeeeee,” Simon mocked, laughing and turning to face him again.
It was Wille’s turn to huff and pout.
“Please?” Wille asked, sticking his bottom lip out.
Simon rolled his eyes fondly.
“Fine,” he sighed.
Wille cheered from the other end of the couch and leaned forward on his elbows, excitedly.
“So the caption of the video said the lyrics were personal, and someone said whoever I wrote it about was a lucky son of a bitch, but they were a little bummed because they had been shipping us since the Hector videos went viral.”
Wille’s jaw dropped.
“You mean to tell me,” he said lowly, leaning forward even more, “That people don’t know that I am the lucky son of a bitch you’re writing about?”
Simon gulped as Wille pushed up onto his knees and began scooting towards him.
“That I am the boyfriend you casually mention in some videos?”
Simon shook his head slightly, eyes locked on Wille’s as he inched forward.
“That I am the only weirdo who gets you biblically?”
Simon slid down until he was flat against the couch again, with his head on the armrest, as Wille crawled up his body until he was hovering over him.
“I had an idea to fix it,” Simon whispered.
“I’d love to hear it in about 20 minutes,” Wille whispered back.
When their lips finally met, they were both smiling into the kiss.
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
[Video opens with Simon standing on a terrace, looking into the camera. It’s a bright, clear day, and nice residential buildings can be seen faintly in the background. He begins speaking, voice and posture tense.]
Simon: Hey. My boyfriend wants to show you his lemon tree.
[Simon leans closer to the camera and points at it.]
Simon: And you better be nice about it.
[Simon’s eyes flit down and back up, as if sizing the viewer up.]
Simon: Go ahead, baby.
[Simon speaks sweetly and steps to the side, backing up while another man steps forward. Wille walks towards the camera, shoulders hunched and eyes focused on the large pot in his arms, playing up a fake nervousness for the bit.]
Wille: Uh, hi, everyone. I’m Wille, Simon’s boyfriend, and I wanted to tell you about my lemon tree.
[Wille looks over his shoulder, and Simon smiles and nods at him. When Wille turns back around, Simon makes a threatening face at the camera. Wille’s voice is a little more confident when he speaks again.]
Wille: Okay, so this is my lemon tree. I named her Myrtle, and she’s been with me for about five years.
[Wille pauses, setting the plant down on a small bistro table, and looks back to Simon once more.]
Simon: You’re doing great, love.
[Wille noticeably exhales and smiles brightly.]
Wille: So, Myrtle is a Meyer lemon tree, so her fruit is a little sweeter than other types of lemons. It takes lemon trees at least three years to start producing fruit, and I’m very proud of Myrtle’s progress this year.
[Wille slides the pot closer and turns it slightly, pointing to a specific branch.]
Wille: These are Myrtle’s flowers; lemon trees have white blooms that are very fragrant. Now, in a cold climate like Sweden, Myrtle has to live in a pot so that she won’t grow as big as trees planted in the ground, like in warmer climates.
[Behind him, Simon is smiling from ear to ear and staring at his boyfriend with big heart eyes.]
Wille: Myrtle normally stays in my apartment with a grow lamp, and only lives outside during the summer, because she needs at least six hours of sunlight a day and a warmer environment. She’s a lot like Simon in that regard, actually.
[Simon takes mock offense.]
Simon: Hey!
[Wille looks at him.]
Wille: Sorry, baby, but you know it’s true.
Simon: Yeah, yeah, just finish telling them about your girlfriend.
[Wille pets one of the lemons, leans in, and speaks softly to the plant.]
Wille: It’s okay, love, he’s just jealous.
[Simon walks up from behind him and wraps his arms around Wille’s waist, then raises on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Simon speaks lowly into his ear.]
Simon: Do you love Myrtle more than me?
[Wille holds his hands up on either side of the plant, like he’s covering its nonexistent ears.]
Wille: That’s like comparing apples to oranges.
[They both pause for a beat, then laugh together.]
Wille: Okay, you know what I mean - lemons to boyfriends.
Simon: Answer the question, Wille.
[Wille grins, spins in Simon’s arms, and cups his jaw. They smile dopily at each other, and Wille starts to lean down.]
[Video cuts off.]