Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Shitty guys, shitty beer, shitty movies in a shitty apartment
When they were younger men, during a night out Clef had kissed Kondraki and he pushed him off, playing it off as just drunken teasing, a joke taken too far. These days, Kondraki found that he and Clef lean on each other a lot, the only people they will really seek out or accept help from, and he feels much closer to him. Theyre calmer men now, they've seen a lot and been through a lot and most of it was together. Most of their time together feels more domestic now, they dont go out as much, he wouldnt mind the thought of living together permanently. What with his wife passed on and his kid leaving home, he's felt lonely more often, spending more time working just to feel less isolated. He even got a subtle request from the 05s to stop putting in so many extra hours as they have already given him so many raises throughout his career and are reluctant to give another. He began to wonder if things had been better if he had let things go differently, if he had felt the way he did now, back then..?
Bad timing, he supposed. It felt a bit late to change the status quo, anyway, Clef no doubt had changed his mind on any sort of romantic or sexual involvement with each other since then. And perhaps those feelings were a spur of the moment thing, due to the influence of the alcohol.
He considered asking Alto about living together and spending more time together platonically, but that felt a bit too complicated, and like he had given up on moving on, finding another partner. He had promised his ex wife that he wouldnt let himself be alone forever if anything were to happen to her, and Clef knew that.
He was due to sit in Alto's shitty apartment and drink shitty beer that evening, while watching a shitty movie and eating shitty food. Ideal night in.
He was hesitant about going, having been struggling to remain in full denial of his feelings, and feeling lower than usual lately. He was wanting to fall into a routine of zombying about at work until passing out at his desk or going home to do nothing but eat cold noodles - not having the energy to boil the water - and sleep. But unfortunately, Clef was feeling better than usual lately, possibly some sort of manic episode but the foundation didnt care too much about diagnosing anything, only making sure you weren't too scarred to stop working and not so healthy you realise what an awful place it was to be and leave, and he was not going to let Ben cancel again without a fight, even if he claimed illness.
He could phone from the bathroom, having the worst bouts of diarrhea in his life, and Clef would call him a liar and tell him to come anyway, then promptly hang up the phone.
So on he went, getting in his car, knowing Clef got off an hour earlier than he did and so would be ready by now.
As he drove, he called Draven, just to check up on how things were going for him, but got no response. He sighed, not knowing if Draven was just busy or intentionally ignoring him. This had been the pattern for a number of weeks.
Eventually, he reached Clef's, and got out the car, bending down to check he didnt look too shitty in his rear view mirror, retying his hair as he walked up to the door.
"Alto! Let me in!" He called out as he rapped on the door impatiently.
Clef came to the door, smiling wide, bowing as he moved to the side. "Checking you look pretty enough for little old me was too much, Benjamin, you should know you don't have to be presentable in my home"
"Its been a long day, im allowed to check i dont look like literal dung before I pull up to my friend's home for dinner. Its polite to be presentable"
"When am I ever polite to *you* though?"
"Youre not, you're a bastard. Im not returning your manners, im being better than you."
"Yeah, you're real nice, asshole"
By the time the two had finished bantering, Kondraki was sat on Clef's couch, and they both had a plate of lasagna and chips, with Clef getting the movie ready on the TV.
"I think you undercooked your lasagna"
"I think your mom undercooked you, there some important things missing from that noggin sometimes, I think"
A few cans of cheap beer in, dinner was long since finished, they had finished their movie and let Netflix play something random next that they weren't paying very much attention to, and were just talking. They weren't quite hugging or cuddling or anything overly affectionate, but they were comfortable enough in their friendship by now that they'd lean against each other. Backs pressed together, or Clef leant against Kondraki's shoulder, something like that when they were alone and vulnerable.
"I miss her, I'd like to give it another chance, Kon" Clef says, out of the blue after a comfortable silence.
"Im not so sure thats a good idea, bud. You remember how terrible it was for you?"
"I know, I know. It was a disaster of a first date, but im sure the second would be wonderful."
Kondraki paused, confused. "Wait, only one date? Youre not talking about Lilly?"
Clef looked at him incredulously. "No?? Im talking about that cute blonde i went on a date with that one time. The girl was so attention seeking, couldnt handle your eyes being off her for a second, or she went crazy. But damn, it was kind of hot... we had spaghetti, it was so romantic, I want another chance at that" he said, wistful eyes going distant, biting his lips as his hands carved out a woman's figure in the air.
"Alto."
"Yeah?"
"Are you talking about -173?"
"..."
"Alto..."
"Yeah, maybe."
"I fucking hate you."
"She was fucking hot in that dress, though~"
"Its not even a she! Youre just delusional! At this point youd think I'D look good in a short red dress!"
Clef stopped, looking Kondraki up and down, raising an eyebrow and biting his lip again.
Kondraki shoved him off his shoulder, rolling his eyes so hard they might fall out his head.
"You dont have the figure for it, im messing with you"
"Now you're just being a dick"
"Do you want me to want you in a dress or not?!"
Kondraki starts to mumble the lyrics "i waaaant youu to waant mee" under his breath, stifling a smile badly.
"AND I NEEEED YOU TO NEED MEE" Clef continued.
The two quickly devolved into loud laughter, angering Clef's neighbours below him, who banged against their ceiling - his floor - and he held his hand up to shush Kondraki and cover his mouth, still giggling to himself but quieter now.
Kondraki yawned and stretched his arms out ending by grabbing Clef and wrangling him as tightly to his torso as possible, with Clef struggling to get out while laughing louder, even going as far as to try and bite him but he couldnt bend down far enough to get at his forearms. He reached around, chomping down on Kondraki's shoulder, leading to a grunt of pain and his arms loosening, allowing Clef to grab his wrists and lift his arms off, tossing himself off the couch, hitting the ground with a *thud* "ough".
Kondraki did this for two reasons. One reason was that horseplay was fun, and nothing felt better after sharing a case of shitty beer than play fighting your friend. The other reason was that when Clef got more depressive, reliving anything he had been through he could often get aggressive or downright violent towards those in his vicinity. Kondraki had began to take it upon himself to hold Clef back and down from harming anyone, Clef himself included, and horseplay was a good way for him to practice, make sure he was prepared for anything Clef might do during those moments of dissociation. The deep pressure also helped to ground him faster, but not by much.
He still had a large scratch on his arm, reaching from his wrist right down to his elbow from when he had to grab Clef faster and less precisely than usual as he scrambled towards his shotgun and he earned a fingernail raked through his skin, the blood only furthering the dissociative state and delusions, making it last for longer.
Clef, currently on the floor, began hauling himself back up, basically crawling up as he was unsteady on his feet and not too concerned about being normal infront of Kondraki.
"I almost fell asleep on the floor, Konny. You were going to do nothing?"
"Its where you belong, I figured it was fine"
Before long, they were both asleep, both snoring loudly, Clef draped over Kondraki's chest, Kondraki halfway towards falling off the couch, held up by some particularly friction-y couch cushions that were a gift to Clef from Kondraki's wife way back when he first got the apartment, due to his lack of decoration and furnishing.