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Johnny bless his little chaos gremlin heart had a small plate of ribs. Barbecue soaked and fall off the bone baby back ribs. He’s also a messy eater so when a drop of sauce. Landed on his shirt John ‘Zero Shame’ MacTavish peeled his shirt off. Revealing his rage baiting body a nice sculpted six pack and massive frame. He looks like he’s getting ready to put on the spartan armor and fight the Covenant.
Not be a regular college student and for the life of him Simon can’t stop staring. “Johnny.. how the fuck can you eat like that and still look like you do?” He finished chewing for a moment after thinking on it. “Six months” he said and Simon looked confused but when Soap didn’t elaborate. “Excuse me” Simon asked then Johnny clarified “six months.. as in one month per ab. I need six months in advance to look like this and no less than five mental breakdowns. While watching sad Dracula a love story edits.” He went back to eating like this is all completely normal.
Nothing to see here don’t mind the shredded chaos gremlin currently assaulting Simon’s sanity.
To someone like Simon "Ghost" Riley who is a nutrition major. John "Soap" MacTavish is rage bait.. more specifically how his body defies everything he's been taught. He's seen his roommate scarf down soup from the can and call it a snack. Three packets of fruit snacks is a hearty snack. Fast food? You don't have to twist his arm about it this man lives off Tyson chicken. And still somehow has a body sculpted by the gods.. it's infuriating but also.. it's just how he is.
And Simon has learned it's easier to just go with it than bash his head against that brick wall.
Plus if rooming with this brat has taught him anything it’s that he’s no better than street cat callers. When it comes to any and every time he’s got his shirt off. The unholy things that he’d do to this man but also fuck anyone who says anything about it. The list of people he’s beaten up for making lewd comments is long and distinguished. He’s got a full time job keeping his easy roommate from ending up on Buzzfeed Unsolved. His ripped.. easy.. nerdy.. gamer roommate that can also draw and paint.
He’s seen the man zone out to a documentary about Da Vinci. And right now he’s getting very mixed signals from the man. This is two weeks in a row that the man has decided to show skin around him. And it’s been two weeks since Simon started questioning everything about himself.
Like.. yeah watching this man eat ribs is hot but how does one get turned on. By watching him sketch or those long fingers glide over piano keys. Or say something in one of the like sixteen languages he knows. Tell him how he wants to be the fucking sculpter he’s working on. Because it’ll mean Johnny has hands on him like that.
Yes watching those muscles work as he’s weight lifting is enough to make his mouth go dry. But tell Simon why watching him beautiful mind his way through chem lab makes him weak at the knees. It’s thrown Simon Riley into chaos complete and total mayhem.
Because when he’s not unintentionally making Simon want to jump his bones. He’s making Simon want to strangle him. There is no in between it’s either confused lust or rage. He watched Johnny polish off those ribs and then next morning. Bright and early witnessed Soap cackling like a man that should not have access to fire. Sneaking by with hand sanitizer in his hand a minute later all Simon hears is. "Let there fucking be light" and then the unmistakable sounds. Of the hand sanitizer igniting. He knows it's for a spell.. he knows his witchy chaos gremlin is doing craft things. But Jesus Christ would it not hurt to have some context beforehand.
Simon couldn’t even get a break this early just standing in the doorway. Like a confused zombie it also doesn’t help. That he’s fairly sure the man is in boxers and nothing else. “Somedays I swear you’re actually trying to fucking kill me Johnny and please don’t set off the smoke alarm again.” He called after him and went to make his caffeinated tea it’s too early for this fuck shit.
He grabbed his tea remembered that he has a game today. College hockey and given his size naturally he’s an enforcer. Which means he’s either getting knocked around or he’s the one creating the bruises. There is no inbetween and if all goes well he won’t have a stick broken across his back again. That one ended up on ESPN and he ended up with a gnarly bruise.
It’s also one reason why he doesn’t tell Johnny about his games. Simon gets hurt often in games and he doesn’t want Johnny to see it. It’s not a complex or anything but more so what happens in the aftermath.
Which brings them to the other quirk of their ‘relationship.’ Simon was in pain but not from what you’d think. No this session of owww is brought to you by the fact that Johnny has a bad habit. That bad habit being tackling his ass like an overly worried puppy. Every time Simon takes a hard hit.. which is counterproductive not that he’ll say anything. He tolerates and even adores this chaos gremlin and with that comes pain.
Most of the time it’s fine.. but on the rare occasion that Johnny aims awkwardly and does damage. There’s an unspoken rule.. don’t tell Johnny that he’d accidentally hurt Simon. That would cause unnecessary stress to his already freaking out chaos gremlin.
Right now he’s under a weighted blanket and praying that Johnny doesn’t notice. Popped some excedrin and settled in for a Sunday of questioning his life choices. He’d be fine Simon woke up around noon. To the tv going, a sore neck and the unmistakable sounds of Mass Effect Andromeda going. One of Johnny’s favorites he noticed those blue eyes go from the screen to him. Simon knew he was well and truly busted this time.
Even so he managed to turn the tide in his favor here. “Johnny.. drink your gay juice.. play your space romance game and calm your anxious mind.” Simon motioned it’s a tactic that always seemed to work in the past. And now didn’t seem like it’d be an exception which is good. And saves Simon from dealing with his own feelings for now. Buying himself more time before he has to confront it.
Simon willed himself to sit up and tried not to let it show how fucked his core is. Getting checked into the glass hurt but so did being tackled by Johnny. Because despite the fact that he should’ve been in art class. He’d showed up anyway and proceeded to worry.
Then before Simon could think breath or maneuver tackled him sending them both over the locker room bench. There’s a running joke with the team that Johnny. Was most definitely the kid that head butted someone as hard as he could to show affection.
Simon watched him play his favorite space romance game then eventually. It took a left turn into his favorite movie. A gothic romance fantasy film where he cried no less than five times. And Simon felt his heart melt he couldn’t help but wonder things. Going from wanting to lick the bbq sauce he spilled off those abs. To wanting to strangle him to this is… maddening and exhausting.