Work Text:
And they're still alive. They're still alive-
They had done it. The party had finally defeated Vecna and the Mindflayer. After years of fighting and hurt and loss they finally put an end to it all. Steve had ripped Dustin back through the gate just as the bomb went off, destroying the Upside Down and finally, finally ended the cycle of suffering.
Celebration burst around them in the aftermath, but instead of joining Steve turned to Dustin, seizing his face.
"Are you okay?" Steve breathed out, moving his hands to Dustin's shoulders, then down his arms.
"I'm good," Dustin nodded, checking over Steve himself. "Are you-?"
"All good here." Steve quickly said, grinning as the two boys gripped each other's forearms- the fear of the other slipping away still overshadowing the relief of it being over.
Steve pulled Dustin into his arms, wrapping one arm around the younger boy's shoulders, the other cradling his head, pressing it to his heart.
And Dustin could hear it. Hear the too fast- yet steady- beat that kept on going. Despite everything, it stayed. Despite the demodogs and the flesh monsters and the falls and every other near-death experiences. It just kept going.
Dustin took fistfulls of Steve's jacket and buried his face into the older boy's chest and clung to the sound.
***
The ride back to the Squawk was quiet. After the adrenaline of it all being over wore off, the party got hit with the expected exhaustion that came with the days- no- years of battle.
Steve and Dustin had refused to be separated. They sat limply against the wall of Murrays van; Steve's arm still wrapped tightly around Dustin's shoulders with his cheek resting against the boy's hat, with Dustin's ear still pressed against Steve's heart.
They could only stay like that for so long before they had to help the rest of the party with the aftermath of everything. With near tears from Dustin and a stream of reassurance from Steve, they both went off to their respective tasks- Steve helping Hopper and Jonathan secure whatever had been left around the Squawk from the Upside Down, and Dustin working with the others to figure out a plan for the next few days.
Once the party had handled all that they could for the night, they split off to their families, including Robin with Vickie, leaving Dustin and Steve at the Squawk by themselves.
Dustin sank into the couch in the basement, still engulfed in the constant feeling of dread, the feeling that they aren't really safe. The feeling that they'll lose each other at any moment. Despite that this is the safest Dustin had been in years, he felt so far from it.
"I called your mom." Steve announced as he came into the room. "Told her you were staying here for the night. That you were okay."
And was he okay? Would he ever be okay?
Dustin nodded, staring at his hands and trying to push away the overflowing dread that he was still stuck with. Steve kneeled down next to him, now with a washcloth and bandaids.
Steve brought the washcloth up to his face. "You still have blood on you- and some of your cuts definitely need to be cleaned or they'll get infected."
"You don't have to do it," Dustin whispered. "You have your own injuries."
"I want to, though," Steve let out a deep sigh and gently lifted the boy's chin to start dabbing at a cut. "Just- let me take care of you, man."
The softness of Steve's voice and the look of worry in his eyes forced Dustin to swallow back a sob and choke out, "Okay."
So, he let him. After nearly two years Dustin let himself be taken care of. Let himself feel protected. Let himself- finally- feel safe.
Steve cleaned off the blood on his face and hands and bandaged the cuts scattered all over him. After he was finished, he brought down a pair of clothes he had stored at the Squawk and demanded Dustin change out of his battle clothes.
Dustin sat back down against the couch, as clean as he could get without having actually showered in a couple days. He removed his cap and tried to run a hand through his too-long hair, only to be met by knots.
Steve glanced over to him, noticing the problem. "Jeez man- you need help?"
Dustin stared at the floor sheepishly before muttering a quiet, "Yeah."
After grabbing his brush, Steve began carefully combing through the knots. His years of obtaining his 'perfect hair' shined through as he moved through Dustin's ragged curls in ease. It felt nice. To be treated like a little kid again. The only person who had ever brushed his hair was his mom, and she hadn't done so since middle school.
After a little while of Steve brushing through Dustin's hair Dustin noticed the bruise that had flowered on Steve's cheek. The bruise Dustin had given to him during the fight. He felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt remembering what had happened.
Dustin turned towards the older boy as tears threatened to spill over, staring at the bruise. "I don't think... I don't think I ever apologized."
Steve furrowed his brows but said nothing, urging Dustin to continue.
"For...for hitting you. For fighting with you. For-for calling you names and insulting you and just- just being an asshole to you."
"Hey, no, you don't need to-" Steve started, but Dustin just kept going.
"Yes I do!" He exclaimed. "Yes, I do because this whole time you were just trying to protect me, and trying to get me to talk to you, and trying to keep me from getting myself beat up like an idiot and instead of listening I was the biggest jerk to you."
The tears that were threatening to spill over did as he continued. "I kept pushing you away when I needed you the most and when everyone around me was hurting- but especially you because you have the biggest heart and just wanted me to be safe-"
Steve gripped Dustin's shoulders as his tears turned into ragged sobs, but he had to tell Steve this. He needed to know. "And-and you're always putting yourself in danger to protect other people, and that-that's what got Eddie killed was protecting me and I thought that if-if maybe I pushed you away enough you would-wouldn't care enough to risk your life for me- but I know that isn't true, and I just hurt you, and I'm so sorry-"
"No, no, buddy c'mere," Steve pulled Dustin into his arms, "C'mere, it's okay-"
"But it's not," Dustin wails, clinging onto the older boy. "It's not. I know you care. But I felt like it was my fault and that-that I didn't deserve to feel happy or safe because when I do people get hurt because of me and you-you're the most important person in my life and you've almost died because of me a hundred times-"
"Stop," Steve choked out, pulling Dustin all the way onto his lap and cradling his head, almost like a small child as he rocked the two of them back and forth. "Stop. Just take a deep breath, bud. Please just breathe, you're gonna choke."
They sat there for a few moments, Dustin desperately trying to breathe through his sobs, as Steve shed a few of his own tears while carding his hand through Dustin's hair.
Eventually, Dustin's cries and breaths had calmed down enough to the point where Steve peeled the younger boy back, just enough to be able to look at him.
"First of all," Steve started quietly, wiping away some remaining tears on the Dustin's face. "Eddie's death is in no way your fault. I'm so sorry if it sounded like I was blaming you earlier, but you're a kid- Christ you're sixteen. There is no way in hell that Eddie's, or anyone's death is your fault. You got that?"
A few more tears spilled from Dustin's glassy eyes, but he only nodded.
Steve's grip on the smaller boy tightened. "Good. Second, it's my job to protect you little shits. That's what I'm here for. And yeah- I definitely could have been more careful for a few of those times, but that isn't on you, man. I made those choices. And I would choose them again every time. Y'know why?"
Dustin shook his head as Steve pulled him closer again, resting his cheek on Dustin's curly hair. "Because you're my little brother. And I can't let anything happen to you- I won't. Not if I can do anything about it."
Dustin buried himself further into Steve's arms and let out another watery sob. "I love you. I love you Steve- you're my brother too. My big brother."
Just the thought of it brought even more water works. Dustin had always been jealous of Mike, and Will, and Max, and Lucas because they all had siblings. His friends had assured him that it wasn't that great- but it was. It was because you had a best friend for life. No matter what happened they would always have each other. And Dustin had never had that. Add in the fact that he'd always felt less within the group, like everyone had a best friend but him, and it made him feel so excruciatingly lonely.
But in came Steve Harrington. Steve, who helped him get ready for his first middle school dance. Steve, who came running out of the room when he saw that Dustin was back from camp. Steve, who drives him home from school in the rain, who plays Duck Hunt with him in the arcade, who watched the Star Wars movies with him 7 times, who jumps in front of danger for him, who called Dustin his best friend. His brother.
Because that's what they were, weren't they? Best friends for life. No matter what happened- no matter what shit they dealt with now, and will deal with in the future, they'll always have each other. So fuck blood- they were brothers.
And so they sat there, curled up together on the couch, still reeling from the aftermath of the hell they dealt with for nearly 5 years coming to a close. Tomorrow they'll have to deal with their new reality, both the ups and downs of it. But they'll get through it.
They'll go back to the way things were- except it will be nothing like it. And it'll be better that way. They'll still go to the arcade, and watch Star Wars, and call each other every day. Except now half of those calls will be after a nightmare. Except now Steve will come with Dustin to Eddie's grave to protect him from getting beat up. Except now they'll have to learn to live with what they've gone through.
Dustin will graduate high school and Steve will pretend that he didn't sob his eyes out. He'll move to college, and Steve will follow him there because wherever his little brother goes so does he. They'll get jobs and girlfriends and change the world in one way or another. And they'll always have each other. Because that's what brothers do.
But for now, they're curled up on the couch of the Squawk. Steve's hand is slowly carding through Dustin's hair, and Dustin presses his ear to Steve's heart.
And it keeps beating. And it doesn't stop.