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One thing that Stan learned very quickly about his two new little niblets was that they were very clingy. On their good days it wasn’t too much of a hassle. They were fine running around and doing their own thing in his general vicinity, and if he needed to he could leave them with Soos for a few hours without them kicking up a fuss. But only with Soos, and he had to come watch the kids at the Shack, Stan couldn’t take them to wherever Soos was. Both lessons Stan had learned the hard way, very quickly turning a good day into a bad one. On the bad days, Dipper and Mabel would follow him around like an extra pair of shadows and tended to get anxious and prone to tantrums if he was out of their sight for longer than it took to use the bathroom, and sometimes not even that long. It was just lucky that the tourists thought Mr. Mystery giving tours with his two little ‘grandkids’ – grandkids sounded cuter than great-niece and nephew – was adorable.
Stan hadn’t even enrolled them in school up here in Oregon yet. Granted, part of the reason for that was because the kids were only in kindergarten and Stan didn’t see what they were going to learn there that they didn’t already know. Mabel was a master of all kinds or arts and crafts, and as for Dipper, Stan had quickly figured out that whenever Mabel wanted her bedtime story from one of their ridiculously over-priced picture books – now that was a racket; ten bucks for a couple of pictures and less than 100 words of text – he could hand the book to Dipper, sit back, and only jump in when Dipper got to a word he couldn’t quite handle yet. But the main reason that he hadn’t was he was worried about how the kids would handle being stuck at school, and away from him, all day. He was starting to get worried about the whole situation, to be honest.
It was Soos who was finally able to tell Stan the reason for the whole thing, one day in between tours when the two of them were out on the porch watching the kids running around. “Well, you’re kind of like their dad now, right dude? And before their grandpa was kind of like their dad, and they lost them. So now they’re afraid of losing you too.” Soos laughed nervously. “Or whatever. I mean, it’s not like I would know anything about that.”
“Soos, you’re a genius!” Stan said. He let that sit in the air for a moment or two before following it with, “Now get back to work.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Pines,” Soos said, still looking starry-eyed from the compliment.
So now Stan knew what was wrong, but not how to fix it. Well, not besides just riding it out, since this seemed like one of those problems that would just go away on their own eventually. But still, there had to be something he could do to speed the whole thing up, or help somehow; the question was just what.
When the idea finally came to Stan it was in the middle of one of the kids’ not so good days. Dipper had been the one who had started out the day anxious and fretful, and then he ended up dragging his sister’s mood down with him, which was how was it happened more often than not. Of course, on the days when Mabel was in a bad mood, there was no one better at cheering her up than Dipper, so Stan supposed it all evened out in the end. Which was fine and good in the end, but today was a bit of a problem, since he had to get something out of his safe for this idea, and he didn’t know how he was going to manage that without upsetting the kids; they weren’t allow them in his study.
Finally he decided to throw one of their favorite videos in and sat down to watch it with them. By the time they got to the climax with the little detective mouse and the bad guy rat running around inside Big Ben, Stan was able to excuse himself for a few minutes without the kids’ eyes ever once coming unglued from the screen. So Stan went and got what he needed, then came back and sat down in his chair as he waited for the movie to end.
The credits started rolling and Stan paused the video, prompting Mabel to turn around and demand, “Again, Grunkle Stan.”
“Maybe in a minute,” Stan told her. “I’ve got something I want to show you both first. Come over here.”
Dipper and Mabel came and stood at the foot of his chair, and Stan handed each of them one of the thick cardstock sheets. They peered at them for a minute, then Mabel asked, “What’s it say, Dipper?”
Dipper shook his head. “There are too many big words. Grunkle Stan?”
“Here let me see that, sweetie?” Stan said. He grabbed one end of Mabel’s, letting her keep hold of the other side, and then used his free hand to point out the words as he read them out loud. “Certificate of Adoption. This is to certify that Mabel Pines has been formally adopted into the Pines family by Stanford Pines, and is entitled to all the rights and privileges there to as his daughter, on this 15th day of March 2005. Yours says the same thing, Dipper, except with your name and it says son instead of daughter.”
“Does this mean you’re our dad now?” Dipper asked.
“Legally speaking,” Stan said. “But I don’t want you kids thinking I’m trying to replace your dad. He was a good person and he and your mom loved both of you a lot. I don’t know if you knew this, but I was there on the day you were born and let me tell you, your parents’ reaction to the two of you was the sappiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Though his and Shermie’s reactions were probably a close second. “Besides he was your family, and you don’t replace family.
“What this is, is a promise. I told you kids I would be taking care of you two little guys from now on; if you ever need me then I’m gonna be there for you, no matter what. And these are the proof I meant it.”
That’s when Dipper started crying.
“Whoa, hey there kiddo, what’s wrong?” Stan asked. He picked the boy up and settled him on his lap, gently taking the certificate from him to place it safe on the side table. Dipper grabbed Stan’s shirt tight in either fist and began sobbing into Stan’s chest.
“Me too,” Mabel cried, dropping her certificate heedlessly on the ground before clambering up on Stan’s lap as well. She hugged her brother and Stan wrapped his arms around both of them.
“Now why don’t you tell your sister and me why you’re crying?”
“I don’t like Aunt Karen,” Dipper got out between sobs.
Well that wasn’t what Stan had been expecting, but he could roll with it. “Can’t say as I like her either. That’s why I told her that I’d be the one taking you two kids home with me and not her.”
“And you’re never ever gonna make Dipper ‘n me go ta Alabama to live with her, right?” Mabel said.
“Course not,” Stan said, disgusted by the very idea.
“See Dipper, I told you.”
Dipper nodded, but he didn’t stop crying. If anything, he started crying even harder. That’s when Stan realized, the kid wasn’t upset at all; he was relieved. Apparently he had been worried this whole time that Stan was just going to change his mind one day and ship them off to their aunt.
“Alright, alright, I’ve got you,” Stan said, hugging both kids close. “And I’m never letting you go.”
(The next day, Stan made photocopies of the adoption certificates for the kids to keep before putting the originals back in his safe. Mabel had Stan hang hers up on the wall next to her bed, but Dipper turned him down when he offered to do the same thing for him. Stan might’ve been worried about it, but from that day on he often caught sight of a folded up piece of paper sticking up out of Dipper’s back pocket.)