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A shrill, pulsating noise resounded through my skull, signalling that it was time to wake up from my reverie. A precaution I had set for myself; knowing I would waste my early hours lost in a daydream. Brought back to earth by such an annoying piece of technology, I let it continue with its incessant ringing for just a bit longer, lying in a pool of sweat and listening to the cicadas beyond my window flutter about in their own world. I thought, maybe if I had been born an insect, I would have enjoyed such a short existence far more than these last 20 years of my own human life.
Letting out a disgruntled sigh, I finally grabbed my phone and silenced its noise. I looked through my email, hoping for a word back from the air conditioning repairmen. Unfortunately, no dice, but instead, I was met by mail I was hoping not to see.
“Ryuu-dono, please meet me at the usual location at noon.”
The sender was an anonymous burner address, but it didn't take much for me to put two and two together. Ever since my father―no, my boss, passed two summers ago, I had inherited his business; a fact that I was none too happy about. Complaining would get me nowhere fast, however, so I begrudgingly went along with it. Pocketing my phone, a cheap clamshell model as I would frequently have to replace it, I proceeded with my usual morning routine: shower, breakfast, work out, and then set off from my cramped apartment in downtown Nakaura.
Stopping my bike outside of a corner store, I entered, heading straight to the counter.
“Ey, Kazama-kun, the usual again?” The clerk said when he saw me, chuckling through his toothy grin.
“Yeah.” I replied simply, fishing out some cash from my wallet as he went to the back to grab a pack of cigarettes. “You got any Junmai on markdown?” I asked.
“Sure do! Anything in particular you want?”
“I want whatever’s cheapest.” I replied bluntly. I wasn't much of a drinker, far from it. The guys I was dealing with on the other hand would drink anything short of cheap beer, so I was more than happy to be stingy.
“You got it, boss.” The clerk replied, ringing up a bottle and directing me to the fridge it was located in so that I could fetch it myself. I was enough of a regular here that he had long since stopped caring to card me or keep a close eye to make sure I was grabbing what I actually bought; I wasn’t going to abuse that trust, even if I didn’t think of him as much of a friend, something he either failed to, or willingly decided not to, recognize.
After stuffing the substances in a bag and hopping back on my bike, I continued through the city blocks, cutting through back alleys and occasionally slowing down to greet people walking past. Relative to Nakaura’s size, the downtown district was rather large. It made sense, I figured; the city’s economy is held up largely by two things: artists, and the adventurer’s guild. For every celebrity musician or legendary hero (Saints, as they’re officially known), there were several dozen more failed idols and scrappers living off safe bounties and menial tasks. The majority of the citizens here were born elsewhere in the country; many moving in from Tokyo and Kawasaki, though some would seek opportunity here from as far away as Sapporo. This diversity, perhaps, along with the relative modernity of the city, may explain the friendliness of the culture here. Despite our proximity to Tokyo, people here are generally very laid back. If someone had a problem with you, they would just say so, not like the rigid formality of our northern neighbor. All of this to say, I did feel at home here, and I liked to pay it forward in whatever ways I could, even if sometimes that just amounted to telling someone ‘good morning’ or giving the kids a high five as I passed. I still had some time before I was supposed to meet with the person who sent me a message earlier, so I decided to make a stop by an abandoned building and take a smoking break.
It was, unfortunately, one habit I couldn’t kick. It’s not that I wasn’t aware it was a problem, but I never found the motivation to seriously try quitting. On occasion, I’d get the urge and attempt to go cold turkey, but I always gave up as soon as the withdrawal symptoms set in. I was always skeptical of other methods too; perhaps it was just my own justification to defend myself, but without anyone willing to intervene, I had ended up just being set in my ways. Cigarettes were, in a way, a form of rebellion I had adopted when I was younger. My dad was a smoker himself, but insisted upon cigars, calling cigarettes ‘pedestrian’ and deriding me for preferring something so low-class. To me, that was just positive reinforcement. I didn’t want to be such a pompous asshole, especially when I knew I would be inheriting such a dirty business.
Eventually, the time came. As the clock on my phone read 12:00, I entered an empty warehouse by the harbor. A handful of older men in suits awaited me. As soon as it was confirmed there were no outsiders listening in, they presented a briefcase full of money. Despite the hefty sum within, they appeared dissatisfied.
“Ryuu-dono, our earnings have steadily been dropping these last few months. We’re falling behind, boss.”
“I know.” I replied with an exhausted sigh. “I told you all this already. I’m not stooping to my father’s level. It’s one thing to take from politicians and business moguls, but I’ve been working to untangle citizens from their debts.”
“Boss, we ain’t a charity. Those ‘citizens’ are in the situation they’re in because they willingly confided in us over the authorities. They knew what they were getting into when they made their contracts.”
“I don’t care.” I bit back sharply. “There’s no honor in money coerced out of people backed into a corner. I’m not saying we can turn this place into a clean organization overnight, but if you―if we’re going to wear the aesthetics of chivalry, then we need to earn it.”
“Ryuu-dono.” One of the men approached me, putting his hand on my shoulder. “It’s clear you don’t want to live this lifestyle; that’s okay. You’re a good kid, and you’re almost like a son to all of us. But you’re also too naive for your own good. This whole operation- it’s fundamentally rotten. The rest of us are here because we couldn’t live honest lives. Stop trying to fix what’s broken. Pick an heir and get as far away as you can. Your old man ain’t here to stop you anymore.”
I knew he was right. There was no way I could reform a whole organization alone; even as the de facto ‘boss’ of this small family, I was too young and inexperienced to be taken seriously. It’s not that this guy was being insincere or condescending: he was simply old enough to understand that there are some forces in this world that are beyond me. Even if I could wash the generational sins of this family, what then? We were just a cog in the larger machine. I’d just be giving worse offenders a chance to replace us.
Still, at that moment I couldn’t accept the lifeline I was given. Sure, I could just run from it all, cut ties with my past. That was what I had been wishing for all this time. Yet, when finally offered such a choice, it felt like I was being told that all my effort was for nothing. Every step I had taken to clean up after my father, every day I battled against my own conscience, every moment I suffered from the Kazama name.
“No.” I replied, shaking my head. “I know it may be foolish. Childish, even. But I want to change this organization. Not just for my sake, either. You say you couldn’t live honest lives? I don’t think that’s true. You just weren’t given a chance to be forgiven.” I offered my hand. “I swear to you, by the gods and goddesses up above, I’ll give you that chance. If that’s what you truly want, then join me. If not, then I hereby exile you from the Kazama family.”
The men in front of me all stared in bewilderment at my bold proclamation. Then one began to laugh. Another after that. Soon, the whole warehouse was echoing with the sounds of several old men’s amusement.
“Ryuu-dono,” the man in front of me said, taking my hand in a firm grip. “I hope you know the hellish path you’ve just set yourself upon.” I gulped. “I, for one, look forward to seeing how you aim to make such a lofty goal possible.”
Against all odds, my gambit had worked. Many of the men there thought I sounded insane, and a few left the family after that. Despite that, however, the rest were willing to humor my ambitions. The path ahead was going to be difficult, but I thought, if I could actually pull this off, maybe living as a human wasn’t such a bad existence after all.