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Bruno hands over a gift bag, one taped shut so the raccoon popping out of the top doesn't drop down into the bag. Courtney scans the open floor. Robert is not so subtly peeking over the edge of the dividing wall. Their eyes meet and he ducks back down, like he was trying to hide. The construct glances back, towards Robert.
"He told me not to tell you," he whispers conspiratorially to her. She just rolls her eyes.
"Thanks, anyway, big guy." She smiles up at him and he smiles back.
"Enjoy the gift."
When he's gone, she breaks the tape seal. As thought, the raccoon plummets into the tissue paper. Red, like the bag. Grabbing the stuffed animal, holding it under her armpit, she digs into the rest.
Chocolates, hand warmers, Midol, Liquid IV… tampons. What the fuck? She lifts her head and Robert is back to looking at her. Glaring, she shoves the raccoon back in and ensuring no one would be able to see the 'gift'. "What the actual fuck, Robert?"
"Enjoy," he shouts back.
She turns heel and walks away. She would never say, even under torture, but it's actually a really thoughtful gift. And right on…
How the fuck did he notice that? Oh, she was going to get to the bottom of this.
It's two days later when Janelle asks Courtney for a tampon. Why her? Anyone's guess, but she passes one along because that's just what you do. By lunch, she's carrying a red bag and cradling a bulldog plush in her hands. Same size as Robert Robertson the Fourth.
Courtney is not tactful in her approach. She's straight forward. After ensuring they're alone in the break room, she approaches.
"So, you got a gift."
Janelle glares at her. Like really harshly, even after she gave her one of her good tampons! (She usually has a few shitty ones on hand to share, but she didn't when Janelle asked.) "I did. What's it to you?"
"From Robert?" Courtney asks, even though she totally knows the answer.
"Colm tried to play it off like it was his idea, but he would have gotten me a different animal if it was."
"Mind if I look?"
Janelle looks her up and down. "Robert got you the same, didn't he?"
Courtney shrugs. "Not entirely sure, but I want to be. So, can I?"
The assassin slides the bag over. "I already ate the chocolates. Don't know how he knew I liked raspberries."
Peeking into the bag, it's the same thing she got. Even down to the brand and size. Fancy organic cotton ones she bought once just to try. She didn't get the hype, but she's still going to use them, and presumably so is Janelle. She leaves them even if she's tempted to swipe them.
"I got plain dark," replies Courtney. "And you got the same stuff. I mean, besides the animal."
Janelle leans back in her chair. "How did he know?"
"Did Galen tell him? I mean, he hears everything–"
"–Which is why you shouldn't get busy on company grounds."
"How dare you, bitch. I've been good. Only to second base."
"Okay, now shut the fuck up," Janelle hisses. "Don't need you talking about you and Robert."
"Who the fuck said it was Robert?"
The room goes quiet. Neither say a word. Courtney stands first. She pats Janelle's shoulder when she passes. Fuck. She's never going to live this down, is she?
Courtney's been watching Mal and Alice for the past week and a half like fucking hawk. Both of them should be starting their period soon. Should. She's certain about it. Got that whole 'syncing cycles' sense tingling. She and Janelle sync. Mal and Alice sync. They lag a bit behind them, but it's not far behind.
The weekend passes and she's sure that their periods both started based on how sluggish Alice is and how Mal's tail won't stop twitching. Add that it's Monday and she knows the pain, given she dealt with the same thing two Monday's ago. She offers a bit of sympathy, but not much, by handing over a ten each and telling them it's a treat on her.
When lunch rolls around, Chad is passing Alice the same stupid red bag and Victor Mal. So, it's those closest to the other. Except she's not close to Bruno like the other three pairs. Was it to throw her off Robert's scent, even though it totally failed given how obvious he was?
Whatever. Courtney drags both women into the break room and makes everyone else scatter. She stares at the bags, which Alice pulls away.
"You ain't getting this," Alice snaps.
"Don't fucking want it. Just wanna look in it."
Mal offers her bag. When she raises a brow, the half demon just shrugs. "I know you and Janelle both got one two weeks ago. From Robert, right?"
"Yeah, we did. Got the same things too." She breaks the taped seal and passes over the penguin. "Besides the animal and chocolate."
Hand warmers, Liquid IV, Midol and Advil, that's new, chocolate–
"You like cookies and cream chocolate?" Courtney asks, pulling out the chocolate.
Mal snatches it out of her hand in a blink. "It's actually really good. Don't be a bitch about it."
"I wasn't. Janelle like raspberries in her chocolate. Who the fuck am I to judge?"
Alice snorts, opening her own bag. "Bet you're the most basic ass white bitch with chocolate."
"I have tastes!" She defends, albeit weakly. She searches the bag for tampons. Yup. Same. "You got the same, plus some Advil. Me and Janelle only got Midol."
"Oh, he remembered," Mal coos, taking the bag back. "Wait, he remembered. Why the fuck did he remember and how did he know about this?"
Courtney shrugs and tries to look into Alice's bag. "Don't know. Been trying to figure that out since he gave me mine. And he was super weird about it, too. Watching me while I opened it."
"You think he's got a kink or something?"
"Oh god. Don't say shit like that."
"Hey! People got a thing for demons. Why can't Robert also be a weird sex freak?"
Alice frowns, shuffling in her bag, drawing their attention. "Hey, did you guys tampons?"
Courtney looks at Mal, who looks at her, then they both look at Alice. "Yeah. Same brand and size. Fancy organic cottons ones. Why? Did he skip out on you?"
"Worse."
"How the fuck could it–"
Alice pulls out a pad. Probably the same organic cotton brand, but Courtney hasn't used a pad in a while, last when she caught a nasty bug and didn't want to get up to change a tampon. "This is how," Alice mutters, almost bitterly, but her voice is right on the edge of breaking.
Mal's already pulling out her tampons, a whole fistful (was it really that many? Damn. Robert must have spent a small fortune on all of these bags.). "Oh, babes. Don't worry. Here. You can have mine. I'll take the pads."
Alice looks up, tears ready to spill. "No, it's–" She sucks in a breath, blowing it out. Then another and Courtney helps her sit.
"Easy. I'll go yell at him," Courtney reassures. She's done it once. She's done it plenty of times. She'll do it again. The influencer grabs her arm, tight. She doesn't move for a moment before sitting next to Alice. "Wanna tell me why I can't yell at him?"
"Because he was right to give me pads," Alice mumbles, shame burning through her cheeks.
"Okay. Then what's the problem?"
"What's the problem? I use pads!"
"Okay! So the fuck what?! I do too! It's not my go-to, but I still use them from time to time."
The Aussie chimes in, hand on Alice's shoulder. "So do I. Wear them to bed. Don't need to worry about waking up in time. Tampons are just easier when you wear what I do." Mal softens, her voice quieter. "Did you really think we'd get upset or disgusted by you using pads?"
"Honestly?" Alice sniffles, "Yeah. I did. Feels like I'm always wearing a diaper and everyone can see it."
"God, no. No one is watching your ass that much–"
"Hey! I have a great ass!"
Courtney nods. "You do, but no one is trying see if you're wearing a pad. I bet besides us no one even knows about this."
"You're not wrong for using pads, babes. Everyone's got their preference. Though, it's freaky that he knows that…"
Alice looks up, tears filling her eyes. "God, he knows too. Who else does?"
Courtney grabs her by the shoulders. "Who the fuck cares? Why should you, Prism, bad ass extraordinaire, care what others think about you not using tampons? They don't matter."
A beat, then she's being hugged. Of course she hugs back.
"Thanks, Visi."
"I told you to call me Courtney. We're friends now."
"Thanks, Courtney."
Finally, Courtney spots Blazer– Mandy– get her own gift. Chase is delivering it with a lot of grumbles. Red bag. Little plush, a horse. Mandy waves when she catches her stare. She waves back and already knows what's in the bag. There's no mistaking it.
Tilting her head, Courtney watches as Robert rubs his stomach for the billionth time today. She hasn't been stalking him, just keeping an eye out, since he was a bitty extra snippy with the first few calls. It's about an hour before shift end when she gathers all the girls together. Locker room to hopefully hide the shit from Robert.
"You're being weird, Courtney," Alice mutters, crossing her arms over her chest. Clearly, she isn't supposed to hear that but does.
"I think Robert is on his period," she declares. That gets three blank stares, so she explains her detective work. If you can call it that. "Ergo, period."
Janelle mirrors Alice. "Let's say you're right about this. Why in the hell did you gather us?"
Courtney levels her a glare. "Did you fucking forget what Robert did for us? Each of us? Personalized and everything. He didn't have to, but he did. He gave us more thought than I, we, realized. He clearly cares a lot about us. We should care right back."
Pointing to Mal, she continues, "Mal, get the bag and tissue paper.
"Janelle, you get the chocolate and stuffed animal. I know you can find out what he likes. I trust you.
"Alice, Midol and hand warmers. If anyone could get hand warmers, I believe it's you."
Alice nods, "You got it. But what are you getting?"
"I'll spend the big bucks and get pads and tampons. Don't know what he uses, but I'll get the fancy shit for him. Alright," she claps. "Let's go Z-Team. We need to get all this back before he leaves today."
Robert's eyes flick to each of them. He was just finishing getting ready to leave when they caught him. Now, they can watch Robert open their gift. The bag is stuffed with tissue paper because the bird Janelle picked couldn't sit like the animals he got them, front half hanging over the lip of the bag. Doesn't really matter. They got everything he got them.
His eyes go down to the bag that was thrust into his hands. "It's red." Like that explains his hesitation. "I believe when I gave you a red bag, it meant… something."
Courtney rolls her eyes. "Oh my fucking god. What a prude. Call it what it is, a period."
"Right, a period. They were period gift bags."
"Yup." She gestures to the bag. "You're getting one, too."
"But I'm not–"
Mal reaches over and gently squeezes his arm. "You don't have to say it. We get it. Just wanted to say thanks for what you did for us."
"But you need to open it here," Janelle points out. "You watched us. Now, we watch you."
"Creepy," Robert drawls out, but does move the tissue paper around. His face softens as he sees it all. "You didn't have to."
"Of course not, but you've done a lot for us. This is just one thank you of many," Courtney says, bumping shoulders. "Seriously. Thank you."
Robert pulls out the pads, hands them to Alice, and then pulls out the tampons and hands them to Mal. Completely unashamed and a bit unamused. "Appreciate the products, but you can keep them."
"Hey! I spent good money on that fancy ass shit for you!"
Then he looks at the pads and tampons not in Courtney's hands. "You'll share, right?"
She grumbles. Of course, she'll share. Not like she'd ever use them, except in an emergency. "Yeah, fine. What do I need to buy instead?"
"Oh, nothing. I'm perfectly fine with what I have. Leave that part out of the equation."
"Damn, he uses a cup!" Alice says, realization hitting her. And yeah, that would make a lot of sense. She knows nothing about cups, so she'll definitely leave that to him.
Robert levels an unimpressed look. "God, you're all stupid. I am a man. I have testosterone flowing through me. I don't get a period."
"No, but you… You had all the signs! I fucking Sherlock Holmes'd your ass!"
A long, heavy sigh from the man and he falls back into his seat. He starts rubbing his temple and well, Courtney's starting to feel like she got it all wrong. Shit. At least there's a gift to make up for their, her, idiocy.
"Look. Thank you for the gift. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't get a period."
"But, but you knew all our signs. Got us the bags basically same day. You definitely knew what to pack."
"Because I used to."
"The snapping?"
"I thought Beef got into the garbage."
"Rubbing your stomach?"
"Bad breakfast burrito."
"And that's the bathroom break looking panicked, too, right?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"Yeah. 'Oh' is right. Again, appreciate the gift, but you had it all wrong." Robert looks at each of them, lingering on each for a moment before going to the next. "I will be enjoying the chocolate, bird, and hand warmers, thank you."
Courtney reaches in the bag and grabs the Midol. "Since you won't be needing it, anyway."
A roll of his eyes and a small smile is all the permission she need. Hey, free Midol is free Midol.