Work Text:
December 23rd
Yokohama, Japan
Dazai steps up to the doors of Mori's office. While he'd rather be anywhere but here, he reminds himself that this is the last mission he'll have to complete for the next week. The Port Mafia's observed holiday period is just about to start, and he refuses squander even one moment away from finding a beautiful woman and a bridge.
As he knocks, he thinks of how he'll spend his Christmas. Maybe he'll meet someone while ordering himself fried chicken. Suddenly, he's reminded that a certain hat-loving slug is quite the fan of a certain bakery in Yokohama that makes (a frankly delicious) strawberry shortcake. Hopefully they're not already sold out for the season.
" Come in." Mori's voice calls out from his office.
Dazai unceremoniously pushes open the door and bows quickly, avoiding Mori's eyes for the first few seconds. Instead, he opts to watch Elise flit around the ceiling of Mori's office as she decorates. Tinsel in lines along the ceiling, a full length Christmas tree with an (admittedly) beautiful star on top, the fireplace running, a mountain of presents to Elise from Mori himself, and more for other members from Kouyou, Chuuya, Dazai himself, and Yumeno. In terms of refreshments, Mori kept a teapot full of freshly brewed tea during all times, and had Elise keep a mug of Hot Chocolate.
" Ah, Dazai. My most precious executive. Do you happen to have that mission report for me? "
" I do. Here. " He tosses the files at Mori's desk, watching them land perfectly square in front of him and refusing to step closer.
Mori's eyes dim slightly, but he turns to open the files, and lightly skims them for information before asking Elise to take them and store them in the archives.
" So, Dazai. How do you like my office? Is it festive enough? I would have done it myself, but these aching bones can only do so much. Its a very cozy feeling this time of year."
" Elise has a better taste than you, Boss. I'm glad you left the task to her" Dazai intoned, locking eyes with Mori.
Elise, who had come back from the archives, giggled, "You know he's right, Rintarou!"
Mori sighed in exasperation. Elise turned to Dazai, clearly very pleased with herself.
As Dazau turned to leave, Elise stopped him by flying in front of him.
"Dazai-niichan, you should get Chuuya-san a present! Tomorrow's Christmas, after all."
Dazai suddenly tensed. " What's that supposed to mean, Elise-chan?"
" You like Chuuya-nii, no? Get him a gift for Christmas! It's Boss's abilty's orders! You can't refuse! Now go!"
And with that, Dazai found himself forcefully dismissed from Mori's office, to go buy the slug (of all people!!) a Christmas gift.
Outside the Port Mafia building, Dazai shivered. He hadn't had time to plan for the cold weather or being outside. Initially, Hirotsu or some of his subordinates would have drove him back to his container, but now, he had to be outside and find the slug a decent gift for Christmas.
His first spot was Kumoyume, a bakery and cafe that recently opened nearby. They marketed their products as soft, fluffy, and so delightful that one could crave for it in the middle of the night. As he opened the door, he heard the bell jingle as he walked up to the counter. Nobody seemed to be at the register, so Dazai turned around to look at the rest of the venue.
The lights and decor seemed like the realm of clouds, all very soft and comforting. The atmosphere was warm. Several couples were sipping on coffee and sharing stories over their sweet, jiggly, fluffy pastries. To Dazai, it seemed like a dream. Chuuya would love it here. It was comforting, soft, and so full of love, something so foreign to Dazai himself, that it felt overwhelming to the senses. He steeled his concentration, however, because he knew that Chuuya deserved all that from the world and more. If Dazai could not be the one for him, he'd just have to accept it.
" -- Excuse me, sir, did you want something? " The cashier's sweet voice interrupted his train of thought.
"Do you have any more of your famous Christmas Strawberry Shortcake?"
"Let me go check. As it is the season of Strawberry Shortcake... we may be out of stock... but I'm sure I can find you one!" She disappeared into the back again, allowing Dazai to be consumed by his thoughts once more.
She came back a few minutes later, holding a box. " You're in luck! Apparently we keep some extras for walk-in customers. Would you like one?"
" Yes please." Dazai responded." Could you write anything on it? "
" We could. What message would you like? "
" 'Merry Christmas, my dearest Slug' "
The waitress's eyebrows raised at the nickname, but if she had any thoughts, she did not voice them. After icing the words on in a sweet red icing to complement the strawberries on the top of the cake, she said, " That will be 4000 yen, please!"
Dazai just handed her the Port Mafia's card, and left with the cake box. His next stop? A Sakaya very close to Chuuya's apartment that he usually frequented. He had heard about their quality red wines on one of their previous missions, and made a decision to purchase him a very nice red, as well as an extra whiskey for himself for a job well done. If Oda was free, maybe he'd share some of the leftover whiskey in the bottle.
Holding the cake deftly in one hand, he mumbled a greeting as he walked into the Sakaya.
" Do you have a recommendation for red wines?"
The man at the register nodded.
" We have some newer arrivals, quite a good quality for a cheaper price, if that's what you need." He examined Dazai a little closer.
" I'll require some form of identification." He turned around to look for some of the bottles he had in stock.
" Do you happen to have a Petrus? Or Romanee-Conti?"
" I have both sir, but which one would you prefer? And from what year?"
"Petrus of at least 15 years ago. Romanee-Conti... maybe around 7-13 years ago at the latest."
" I'll see. One of those we definitely have in stock."
After digging around for a few minutes, the shopkeeper returned with a bottle.
" I found a bottle just like you asked. 10-year old Romanee-Conti, exquisitely aged and all."
" I'll take it. Put it on this card." Dazai handed his identification and the card over to the salesman.
The salesman nodded, inspecting the ID as well as the credit card, before shrugging and processing the payment.
" Merry Christmas, young boy!"
Apparently, the world decided that would be the perfect day for some light snowfall. Snowfall in Tokyo and the region around it, including Yokohama, wasn't expected until January. There was still a week remaining -- but here it was, slowly beginning to line the streets with its pure beauty.
Dazai cursed inwardly, making his way as fast as he could towards Chuuya's building. Just for a moment, he put down his gifts on the porch of a store and ducked into a nearby alley to warm up a little bit. He thought about Chuuya's warm embrace, the last time being when the Flags had been murdered last year, and Chuuya couldn't sleep comfortably for several months. So Dazai became the reluctantly accepted cuddle buddy, making sure Chuuya's nightmares were dealt with and he was able to sleep again. Even Dazai's own insomnia was nearly cured from the arrangement. Since then, whenever either of them felt unsafe alone, a quick text would be enough to convey the message Suddenly, a foot slammed into his back, knocking him off balance and sending every inch of his body into tense shock.
"Oh? What's the Port Mafia's brat of an executive doing out all alone?" The attacker sneered, looking down at the shivering, pathetic executive on the wet floor of the alley.
" You think you're all-powerful... don't you? All you worthless children running the organization into the ground..."
" Were you hired by somebody? " Dazai coughed out as he struggled to stand.
" Why would we tell you? " Dazai felt his vision go white as he was slapped back to the ground.
Another man came from behind, holding a pistol in one hand, a gemstone around his neck.
" Hey! We were only told to capture him! If Boss finds out he's dead... we're gonna be in more trouble than---" that was the last thing Dazai heard before his ears began to ring.
The second attacker activated an ability of some kind, Dazai couldn't tell, it seemed to be an ability perfect for capture. Kicking out at the air behind him, he stood, vision blurry, as the first attacker realized he was still up.
Before he even realized it, a sharp pain hit his left shoulder, and he felt the metal edge of a knife at his arm. Dazai pulled his gun out of his coat, shooting the first attacker cleanly in the head. The second, clearly fearing for his life, shook as he held on to his gun.
"Tell me who sent you." Dazai gritted out.
"I'LL SHOOT!" He yelled back.
Dazai walked up to him, brought the man's shaky gun up to his own forehead, thumping on it lightly, as if taunting death.
" Tell, or you and I will end up like your friend over there."
"It was Ace-" A shot sounded off, and Dazai noticed the man slumped down to the floor. His face was bleeding from the hits and foot to the back, but no bones seemed to be broken. Other than that, there was just the matter of the knife. His knees nearly gave out as he stood to finish the walk.
He made a quick call to Akutagawa regarding an investigation on Ace's behaviors when they returned from the holidays, but told him to enjoy his time off in the meantime. He remarked that if Akutagawa's progress hadn't improved by their next training session, or if he fell behind due to his holidays, there would be serious consequences, before hanging up and finding his way back to the porch where he'd hidden Chuuya's precious gifts.
Chuuya did not plan for anything to happen tonight. He'd gotten the mackerel a gift, (he was still considering whether to give it to him or not), and his cat, Sakana had already managed to find her Christmas present and play with it in his living room.
As he was cooking dinner, he heard the doorbell. He wasn't expecting any guests, so unless Kouyou was stopping by unannounced, who could be at the door?
Dazai had made it. Fearing his own physical state, he put down the gifts on the little bench near Chuuya's door as he rang the doorbell. He sighed, every inch of his body filling with deep relief. Chuuya's home meant safety. It meant a place where rain couldn't leak through the roof and cause his bedsheets to smell like rainwater gone bad. It meant a place for warm, good food, and someone to share it with, even if that someone was a short, hat-loving slug that would never understand Dazai's goals.
The last thought that ran through his head was how beautiful Chuuya looked when cooking for him, especially if he had made any dish from crab. And then, he felt nothing.
Chuuya answered the door, and his heart fell right out of his chest, dropping down to his stomach. Dazai looked terrible. Fresh bruises littered his back, neck, and torso. From what he could see with the bandages on, Dazai's skin was also beginning to turn purple from the cold. Chuuya quickly hoisted Dazai up from the ground, being careful not to irritate his knife wound.
Setting Dazai on the couch, Chuuya sighed. Then he brought his gifts inside, letting them sit on his kitchen counter as he searched for his first aid kit, the one he'd obtained after patching himself and Dazai up more times than either of them could count.
" Fuck, you bastard. What on Earth did you get yourself into?"
Dazai was, objectively, one of the most observant people in the Mafia. For Dazai to be caught off guard, something had to be different about today. What on earth was he thinking? Looking over his purchases, it was clear he had stepped out of Mafia territory.
Unwrapping all his bandages, Chuuya pressed ointment into them, letting them soothe out the angry bruises. Dazai twitched as the ointment stung his skin, but he did not make any noise. Chuuya replaced Dazai's bandages, covering scarred and injured skin from the younger's many insane attempts, as well as missions and Mori's punishments. Next, Chuuya dealt with the knife. Slowly, holding gauze around the knife, he pulled the tip out of the wound. Thankfully, it stopped before the bone, so Dazai wouldn't need a cast, but that shoulder would be bad for a while. Setting the knife aside, Chuuya inspected the cut. After ten stitches to seal it up, he covered the area in gauze to avoid any further bleeding.
Once Dazai no longer looked inches from death, Chuuya moved him to the bedroom downstairs, sighing in relief. He tucked the brunette in, leaving a glass of water and some painkillers for the migraine and joint pain he would surely have once he woke up.
Then, he went to go see his couch. A few spots got blood on them, but otherwise, it seemed fine. Chuuya wiped them off with a cleaner, muttering about 'stupid mackerels who have no consideration for where they bleed'. He sat next to Dazai's bed, on a chair, reading, while he waited for Dazai to awaken.
December 24th
Yokohama
Dazai's head was going to kill him. Clearly, the slug had patched him up yesterday. He saw the water and the painkillers, accompanied by a note:
' Mackerel: you better take these whenever you get up. If I see you haven't taken them, I will feed them to you when I'm awake. -- Chuuya '
Dazai obediently swallowed each one, feeling the pain in his head and shoulder subside, but still tingle uncomfortably.
Then, he shakily stood up from the bed, looking around. He tried not to show any weakness in his step, but at least nobody who would rat him out anywhere would find him here. This was home, safety, companionship. Dazai felt it since he had knocked yesterday.
He found Chuuya fast asleep, drooling on a chair as he faced Dazai's bed. The coffee table in the living room had a book hanging off one side, as if someone clumsily placed it there. Dazai concluded that he must have used his ability to move the book as he didn't want to move from his chair.
"Slug" Dazai whispered. He shook Chuuya, who immediately woke up.
"Wha-- Dazai! I'm glad to see you're awake, fishy bastard..." Chuuya looked at him closely.
"Hmm. You seem to have healed a bit. Go, brush your teeth and clean up. I'll make something to eat."
"Slug, I want to give you my gifts for Christmas."
"We'll do that later. Right now, I'm gonna wash up, take care of Sakana, and then cook." Chuuya moved to stand and walked out of the bedroom.
"By the time I'm done, you should also be cleaned up at least!" Chuuya called out from the stairs.
And with that, Dazai began his Christmas morning. He moved to the bathroom attached to the little guest room, staring at himself in the mirror. He picked up the toothbrush he'd left here the last time, (Chuuya must have moved it over) and stared at himself in the mirror some more. He brushed away some wayward curls from his face, using a small comb to set them in place. He rubbed at his sticky eyes, washing them out with water.
Once dressed, Dazai made his way to Chuuya's kitchen. Sakana was resting on a counter, her breakfast of canned tuna open and partly eaten. Chuuya, meanwhile, was tending to the stove, flipping soft, fluffy souffle pancakes.
"Merry Christmas, Mackerel. How many pancakes do you want?"
"Two. Do you have that Strawberry Cream?"
" I should have some left over. Do you want some fresh strawberries as well?"
"No thank you."
Dazai sat at the table, slowly digging into his breakfast, and Chuuya joined in with his own plate. Silence loomed over the dining table, as neither was prepared to break it and talk about what happened.
"How are your injuries this morning?" Chuuya started.
"They're... better." Dazai breathed out, unsure how long before Chuuya figured out something was up.
"I'm glad. I assume there's a reason you're here? What's your plan for today?"
"Just... wanted to give the Slug something... for Christmas." Dazai mumbled, an uncharacteristic red creeping onto his face that he hoped Chuuya wouldn't notice.
"Okay. Cut the crap, Dazai. You wouldn't get me a Christmas gift out of the blue like that. It's poisoned, right?" Chuuya said, thinking he'd figured out everything.
"No~! It's just a Christmas gift for my dearest hatrack!!" Dazai replied in a singsong tone.
"Okay now I'm convinced you've tampered with it." Chuuya said, standing up from the table angrily and collecting their plates.
"I really haven't! Chuuya just assumes the worst!"
"Maybe because you can't just be upfront with me for once, when you're not bleeding out on my doorstep!" Chuuya retorted.
"Well maybe, if the slug weren't so short-tempered all the time, I wouldn't annoy him as much!" Dazai teased. He enjoyed the comfortable banter.
"GODDAMN it Dazai can you not stay away from height jokes EVEN ONCE??"
"Someone I hate shouldn't be so short~~" Dazai began, singing again.
He heard fast footsteps, before Chuuya was right in his face.
"Yeah? Well just so you know, I love you."
And the world around Dazai crashed.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fuck. Fuck what did he just say. What prompted him to blurt that out? Which god was cursing out his name for him to suddenly bring that up all of a sudden?
"No, no, wait, I meant 'I hate you too'. Wait, wait, Dazai, don't take this the wrong way... ummm..." Chuuya stammered over his words like he was suddenly a child again, even though he didn't remember any of his own childhood, his stammering felt so babyish it made him even more embarrassed.
Even worse, Dazai was frozen in front of him and looked like he was about to overheat from crashing out over the revelation. This is where it would all end. Dazai would apologize and say Chuuya never meant anything to him, nothing more than a rivalry between coworkers, and suddenly, the world would tilt on its axis and the two would never be partnered again. Chuuya would never see him again, would never be able to save him from a stupid attempt, never be able to see his shining happy eyes over crab stew, everything was ruined.
"Did you mean it?" Dazai croaked out, having regained consciousness long enough to ask that simple question.
Chuuya supposed there was no point in denying it. "Y-yeah. I did."
Dazai cleared his throat. "I love Chuuya too."
What.
WHAT.
No, no, Chuuya had to be hallucinating. 'Arahabaki pinch me if I'm in the dream realm or something equally insane', he thought.
"HAAAAAH?"
"I love Chuuya too. I- I have for a while. Since we started sharing a bed for 'nightmares'. Chuuya's felt like home since then. Nothing has really felt like home for a long time."
"Nobody's believed that I'm human more than you have," Chuuya began, "That really made me love you more." Chuuya finished.
In that kitchen, for the first time, two teary-eyed teens would hug for the very first time. Dazai angled Chuuya's face upward, pulling him into a kiss. As it deepened, happy smiles bloomed on their faces.
After they separated, Dazai internally screamed. 'His lips are soft...' Where'd that thought come from? He didn't know.
"Your lips are soft, Chuuya~"
"Oh shut up Mackerel. I should have gotten you some chapstick as your Christmas gift."
"CHUUYA??!!"
The two giggled after that, and it turned into loud, raucous laughter. Once they had finally calmed down, Chuuya brought up the question.
"So, Mackerel, What are we?"
"Whatever you want us to be, my dearest Slug."
"Boyfriends?"
"Nah. We sound like stupid teenagers. How about... Partners?"
"Partners sounds nice."
Chuuya was just about to punch him in the shoulder, before he remembered the bandages.
"Hey Osamu, do you happen to have any information on the guys that beat you up?"
Dazai hummed. "I could probably get someone to find them, why?"
"I was thinking of giving their info as a tip to Akutagawa, or Hirotsu, and letting the Port Mafia take care of them... If not I can always do it myself."
"Oh. Yeah I'll give you anything I can find about them. If you keep using my first name I think I might actually pass out."
Chuuya laughed. "I'm gonna make good use of it, Osamu. Get yourself some life insurance."
"Dying by use of one's first name is not something I've ever heard of but it would be an interesting way to go."
Sakana, sensing a shift, jumped between the boys, looking up at Dazai, as if to say 'Don't hurt him'.
Dazai bent down to stroke her back, letting the soothing purrs resound in the silence.
"Ne, ne, Chuuya!! Open my gift!!"
The two had obtained matching Christmas pajamas, and ordered Fried Chicken with some spicy sauces on the side. While they waited for it to arrive, they thought it would be a good time to share presents.
"I already saw the cake, and I'm assuming its shortcake based on the season. Am I correct?" Chuuya questioned, a smirk sitting on his face.
"I saw you rave about the Grand Opening for that bakery downtown. Kumoyume, no? So I made a last minute purchase."
"Thank you. I'm glad you remember I like it. I got you a set of whiskey glasses. I thought you could put them to some use with Odasaku and Ango, or keep them in your office for visitors. They're made of real crystal and have 18k gold trims at the top. I would have gotten you a bottle of whiskey but I think the glasses would last longer."
"I got Chibi a special wine. Guess?"
"Don't tell me its a Petrus."
"Even better."
"A Romanee-Conti??"
"Indeed. Cost the Mafia a pretty penny but its all on Mori's card anyway. God knows he has more than enough money to afford several bottles of red wines."
Chuuya laughed at that, admiring the bottle. "What else is in your bag from the Sakaya?"
"Just Champagne for New Years, and a whiskey for me to share at Lupin or at Odasaku's place if I'm not gonna drink your gift."
Chuuya hummed. A comfortable silence settled between the two before the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it." Dazai said, standing up from his spot on the couch.
The rest of the evening consisted of Mario Kart until they were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe, Chuuya accusing Dazai of cheating while Dazai defended himself by affirming that Princess Peach was simply the best Mario Kart character. After their dinner and a slice of shortcake each, they put on a cheesy Christmas movie while cuddling on the couch. After one more passionate round of making out, Dazai said,
"Merry Christmas, Chuuya."
"Merry Christmas, Osamu."