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Chapter Text

In a storm, a young boy died, his body was dashed upon rocks as he attempted to flee in his cowardice. Most would never know his story, in a way his wish for obscurity was aided in his passing. No one knew Master Aang of the Southern Air Temple, no one cursed his name as he disappeared from the war. Yet, no one was left to love him, to care for him, save a lone boy in the Earth Kingdom, his neck unprepared for the weight of his crown.

In his place came a new child, born to the Northern Water Tribe, her eyes cold and serious as she bore the weight of siege after siege upon her people’s walls. For seventy years, Avatar Lusa stood brave against the assault, earning the epitaph “The Spirit of The Wall”. Her cold gaze would sweep across the ocean and ships would drown in her wake. Water Tribe soldiers would fight in ankle deep water, their wounds instantly healing after they were made. With such power, the Avatar that only knew water held back the tides. Only after these seventy years did she pass, an ailment of the heart claiming her life. Her body had to be put on display for three days before the Fire Nation ended their attack to move on to more pressing matters. A final weight borne to save her people from more pain.

The Avatar spirit found a new home in Língmíng, a reckless and angry boy, earth, water and even fire came simply to him. Yet, the boy had no airbending master, he was left crippled by his inability to manage anymore than the simplest gust, and yet, he fought on. At sixteen, the Dragon of The West began his long campaign to the capital, Ba Sing Se. Avatar Língmíng, The Stoneheart, attempted to fight his troops, to beat them back. It took three whole battalions of Fire Soldier Elites to take him down. His reward for his rebellion was simple, impalement upon thirty whole spears, a forest of pain with him as the central tree. As he choked out blood, he grinned and spat on the ground in front of the general. His last words were spiteful, an old Earth Kingdom curse that neither the boy nor the man it was directed at would understand the truth of.

“May you reap what you sow, General.”

Both failed to bring balance, The Avatar Spirit felt its mistakes. A soul that had stayed behind the walls it had hoped would allow it to grow had instead stayed stagnant and fought only for survival of their home rather than unity. Another so filled with anger and bitterness at the loss slowly surrounding him, what it had hoped to spur into considered action poisoned into reckless hate. It had one more chance, it had to choose the right soul, one considering but with the spark of ambition. It had been in luck to find one just like it desired, nestled in the heart of the enemy. 

On the day that Avatar Língmíng died, golden eyes opened to the world and the daughter of Prince Ozai was born upon it with a weight she didn’t know she was carrying.

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Lu Ten was beyond bored, he had been bored for months in fact. He had been stuck in the palace for so long while his father went conquering the earth savages. He sighed heavily, Uncle Ozai was so uptight it was barely worth mentioning him. Zuko and Azula were babies, even if Azula could talk now and Zuko could write they were still acting like babies. Aunt Ursa spent all her time doting over Zuko. Then there was Grandfather, he was just…strange, oddly cold, when Lu Ten was around the man he felt no familial warmth. The only thing he felt was the authority of the Firelord bearing down upon him like a weight.

Right now he felt that weight especially well as the old man’s eyes drilled into him from above. The rains from monsoon season that poured outside seemed to almost adorn him like a cloak. Lu Ten swallowed hard and bowed deeply like he had been taught by his father.

“How may I assist you, my Lord?” Always “Lord”, Never “Grandfather”. That had been drilled into him since day one, Azulon stood on ceremony and treated it as immutable law. He had even done away with the family name later royal families had taken for legal and historical convenience. Instead, he had chosen that his family would govern as the old Fire Nation had, with no clan name, for the royal family was a part of every clan. Agni had given them the divine right to rule and that was all they needed to prove themselves worthy.

Azulon’s voice approached his ears with the finality of a funeral dirge. “Lu Ten, you studied with the Fire Sages. You know the test devised to root out The Avatar.”

It was said less as a question and more of a statement, after all, the Firelord did not make requests. Lu Ten nodded resolutely, it had been something to do between semesters at Officer’s Academy and it kept his mind busy. He stood and cleared his throat. “I am sure there are others more qualified than I, My Lord.” Humility, an admirable trait that Azulon enjoyed to see displayed in his family.

“Yes, but it seems the Fire Sage sent from the island has been waylaid by this damnable monsoon.” Azulon said with a sneer, as if it was a failing of character on the sage’s part. “I refuse to wait longer to know if my granddaughter has been poisoned by that wretched creature. You will perform the test, I will deal with the results, whatever they may be.”

With that he turned and walked away, he didn’t tell Lu Ten to follow him, he didn’t need to. The ability to divine the Firelord’s desires was considered paramount to service in the palace, even for family. They stepped out of the western building and moved towards the central palace, two servants held umbrellas up to keep the rain off them. They didn’t even bat an eye as they clearly became soaked in an instant. Lu Ten itched to hold the umbrella himself and send the servant to go get warm. Azulon, however, would see that as too lowly a task for a member of the royal family. Perhaps, Lu Ten had too kind of a heart. When they finally arrived, the two servants bowed and left without a word. 

Lu Ten watched them go, but Azulon was watching him. “You think me cruel, do you not?”

Lu Ten’s heart stuttered, he did not want to insult the Firelord, but lying to him would be a far greater crime. “I-I apologize, my lord. I am still early in my training and so do not fully understand the reason behind such actions.” All fourteen years of his life seemed to tremble through him as Azulon fixed him with a heavy gaze.

The old man sighed deeply and looked forward. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t.” He continued his determined stride and Lu Ten kept pace. “When I was fourteen, my father sent me to hunt down the last of the air savages. These were not the ones who lived in their lofty temples, training the next generation. These were those that lived a truly nomadic lifestyle, wandering aimlessly from place to place.” His eyes took on a dark and stormy expression. “I chased them down for two years. A foolish and naive boy, I attempted to arrange a peace talk between our people and theirs, hoping to grant assimilation rights. I will not pretend that our war did not perhaps add to their desperation, but then they should have fought us in open battle, they would have died like soldiers. Instead, they laid traps in the Saihai jungles, where they asked us to meet them. Lu Ten, that jungle brought me plenty of horror, but it also taught me something you should learn quickly. Mercy does not exist, there is only you and your enemy. Whoever comes to that battle with mercy in their heart has already lost. What others see as mindless cruelty, I see as measured reminders to the people. That their Fire Lord does not hold compassion or mercy as a virtue. It allows them to wonder, if this is what I do to servants, how terrible would it be to be my enemy?”

Lu Ten gulped and bore the weight of his grandfather’s gaze as they moved on. It was so oppressive at times to be the grandchild of a man who felt more like a searing ambient heat than a person. When they finally stopped, it was in front of a room that held no decorations, nothing to denote its function except for a heavy lock. For some reason that lock filled Lu Ten with an intense dread.

“The child is inside.” Azulon intoned. “Along with the materials the sages requested. I trust there will be no issues…and no mercy.”

Lu Ten turned and bowed deeply to his grandfather. “Of course, my lord.” With as much hesitation as he could allow, Lu Ten paused at the door before pushing it open with a grim gaze.

Inside sat a girl no older than six, she was passing a blue flame between her fingers. Lu Ten couldn’t help the small smile that played on his lips, Azula had always been such a prodigy. If she hadn’t been subsumed by Uncle Ozai, Lu Ten would think he’d like to spend more time with her. Though he was more surprised by the colour of her fire, blue was sometimes called The Dutiful Flame, it did not act with rage or wrath. It was formed by pure discipline and training, for it to appear in one so young was unprecedented. Lu Ten shuddered to think what Azula had been through to forge it.

Azula turned towards him, her flame scattering. Her face was fixed with eyes much too sharp for a girl her age, a mouth that he knew held the full cruelty of her father. Luckily, he also knew that it wasn’t all she was.

“Hello, cousin.” She said with a polite bow. “I’m sure you know why I’m here?”

Lu Ten grimaced as he opened the box, pulled out a roll of cloth and began to unwrap it. “Yes, the sages are late and Firelord Azulon wishes for me to administer a test of your abilities that requires specialized equipment.” His movements were methodical, his hands careful as he extracted a brass contraption that held four small glass domes with a silver ball in each.

Azula eyed the trinket with an imperiously raised eyebrow that was much older an expression than she was. Lu Ten had to hold back a chuckle at a young girl copying her father so blatantly. “I think you are perhaps a little too old for toys, cousin.” She teased, she was trying to sound cruel, but she was young and it did little to fully conceal her nerves. Azulon would have disciplined her for that, Lu Ten knew all too well his grandfather’s lessons on mastering fear.

He schooled his face into one of calm placidity and smiled down at Azula. “Inside each of these silver balls is an oil soaked wick, when I press the button on this trinket, the wicks inside will light. You will have to hold each one of the balls up simultaneously before the wicks burn out.” In truth, Lu Ten knew what was really in the spheres, it was a necessary deception for the test. That was what most of the Fire Sages tutelage had been about, when it was time to lie and how to do it properly.

Azula, for her part, didn’t hesitate. She simply squared her shoulders and nodded resolutely, as was proper of someone who trained as often and as hard as she did. With a simple gesture, Lu Ten made it seem as if he ignited all the inner balls, while in truth only lighting one. The rest did not hold what he had described to Azula, instead, there was one each of water, soil and empty air. The only person capable of lifting more than one on their lonesome, was the Avatar. If that happened, the device would let out an ear piercing sound and alert anyone nearby. Azula’s expression took on a line of determination as she glared down at the device. With a simple kata, the ball of flame lifted without issue, Lu Ten allowed himself the briefest moment of hope and relief.

Azula, however, had never accepted failure as an option. Her gaze narrowed in anger and frustration, the world seemed to still and the other three spheres began to rumble. Lu Ten felt dread, horror, despair. Perhaps, in another life, he would have swallowed and allowed fate to take its course. Perhaps, a sage would have been sitting across from his cousin instead. His young, impetuous cousin, who despite being a brat and taking after her father quite a bit, was still a child. His hand acted before his mind and he grabbed Azula’s wrist.

“What are you do-“ She tried to pull away, but then she stopped as she looked at him. Maybe she had caught something in his reflection, outrage replaced confusion and bled into fear. At that moment, Azula looked as young as she was, the armor dropped away and Lu Ten could see the scared girl that she hid. Just as quickly, that armor shuttered back into place and her expression went stony. “What is going on, cousin?”

So, with a weight too great for his young shoulders, Lu Ten explained in hushed tones. As he did, he caught more glimpses of that scared girl. Perhaps, he had too kind of a heart. Because in that shadowed moment, he made a promise to himself, he would make sure his cousin could one day live unafraid.

—————————————————————————

Two Years Later

Azula was not pouting, she wasn’t, because girls of standing like her did not pout. She was simply…contemplating while in a foul mood. She had found an alcove she had discovered a while ago and slunk into it. It was a recess that one wouldn’t notice while walking by thanks to the massive statue of Firelord Kaoru that was directly in front of it.

“Stupid Mother, stupid ZuZu…” she muttered to herself. Who cared if those stupid turtle ducks got mad at her? That wasn’t even the point, they were just like what her father had called the servants, stepping stones. Lu Ten wouldn’t call them that. Her thoughts supplied. “Shut up, you’re not helping!” She hissed back at her brain.

She was so caught up in her own mind that she didn’t notice the sound of shuffling feet until they had slid into her vision. She was startled and looked up to see Lu Ten standing in front of her. He had gone from skinny and lanky to lean and rangey in the last two years, his hair had an unkempt nature that was the source of constant disapproving glares from Azula’s father. He had the beginnings of facial hair that he painstakingly groomed despite it being barely there. It still managed to frame his face into something welcoming despite that, in true contrast to the dao he kept at his side, a sign of his graduation from The Officer’s Academy.

“Well,” he said as he made a show of inspecting the alcove he had to bend down to look around. “You sure know how to pick a place to sulk, LaLa.”

“Princesses don’t sulk.” She said stubbornly as she turned away. She had long given up trying to stop using that inane nickname for her.

“Right, my apologies, oh composed one.” Lu Ten said with a chuckle as he raised his arms in mock surrender. “Please, spare me.” He stepped closer as she continued to stew and sat down on the ground next to her not even bothering to worry about getting his robe dirty. “What happened, LaLa?”

She sat silently for a while longer before the need to vent to someone won out. Mai and Ty Lee were great, but they always gave that look when she talked about these sorts of things, like they just couldn’t comprehend the issue. So, she told Lu Ten about the turtleducks and the fire and how her mother had yelled at her but never ever got mad at ZuZu for anything. When she was finished, Lu Ten was silent for several moments, Azula had learned to find that comforting in a way. He never exploded into anger like Father and never set secret expectations where failure was met with icy silence like Mother, it was odd to just…be, while he thought.

Eventually he looked down at Azula, his gaze incalculable. “Why did you try to burn the turtleducks, Azula?” There was no judgment in his tone, just an earnest question.

“Well, because…I don’t know…” She mumbled.

Lu Ten put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Think back…remember, examine the feelings as they were in the moment. Process them, then analyze them.”

“I guess…” She closed her eyes and thought back a bit. “I was waiting in the courtyard and I got impatient because ZuZu said he would finally practice katas with me. But then I found him at the pond, talking so close with Mother and they looked so happy. Then…hmmm…there’s a feeling there that I didn’t like.”

Lu Ten nodded and seemed to smile just a bit. “You’re getting better at that. Now, to me it sounded like you were upset with Zuko for being late and when you saw him with your mother, you got jealous. Does that sound like I have it right?”

Azula thought for a moment before grimacing and nodding. “Yes, I-I suppose.” She hated this part, being forced to analyze the weaknesses she still held.

“Hey,” Lu Ten said, a teasing word of warning in his tone. “Remember what we talked about?”

“Feelings are not weakness,” Azula spat with no small amount of bitterness. “The only weakness is ignoring them and allowing them to consume you.”

“Thank you, LaLa.” Lu Ten said and removed his hand from her shoulder. “So, now that we know what you were feeling, we can assess better methods to deal with that situation.” He spoke precisely, it was his officer voice, the one he slipped into whenever he started planning. “For now though, how about some…special bending training?”

Azula felt a mix of dread, nausea and worst of all, excitement. She hated how her sick soul sang at that prospect, she clamped down on it hard and shoved it down. She threw chains and locks on the feeling and buried it deep in her heart. Azula had made two versions of herself, Azula The Princess, who bowed and followed her father’s instructions, who did not know where The Avatar was hiding and was prepared to sacrifice anything for her nation. Then, there was Azula The Traitor, the vile girl who hid what she was because she was still scared to die, the one who deserved to be discovered and killed. She didn’t want to have these parasitic past lives attached to her, didn’t want the brand of traitor simply for being born wrong, besides, there was another factor to consider.

Azula scoffed. “What’s the point? It’s not like anything has changed.” The past two years and the best she could give was a minor gust of wind that one could confuse for a shift in the breeze.

“Maybe this time it’ll be different.” Lu Ten said with another smile, but there was a tension to it that threw Azula off. He had something he was holding back, she had been trained how to see secrets already. Maybe if she did this, he’d feel inclined to talk.

“Very well.” Azula said with a huff as she stood up. “Let’s go.”

The training area for Azula The Traitor and her cousin was much different than the one Azula The Princess had. While one trained in a well appointed dojo with two of the greatest sifus in The Way of The Dutiful Flame, the other trained in a shadowy grotto far away from where any prying eyes might have seen. While one’s instructors were viciously cold and calculated but removed from the physicality of her training, the other corrected her form gently and sparred with her regularly. It was a strange dichotomy and yet, as Lu Ten became a whirling dervish of flame in front of her, Azula had the oddest sensation that it felt a little familiar. 

For all his joviality and kindly affectations, Lu Ten was a monster in combat. While he had yet to master a kata style and hadn’t followed his father’s path in The Dragon’s Breath, he had done something equally impressive for his age and combined two preexisting styles into something wholly new. He had started with The Dancing Flame, a style that had been devised to emphasize circling and weaving into your opponent’s guard to deliver punishing blows that they couldn’t dodge easily. After he was comfortable with that, Lu Ten had incorporated The Ashen Blade Technique, a form that focused on combining swordplay into firebending to increase reach and multiply opportunities.

All this to say that, despite being six years younger, it was impressive that Azula had been able to survive as long as she had. Lu Ten was fast and precise in a way that fit a tactician like him. Her cousin didn’t fight, he stalked across an engagement like a prowling Viperwolf. He hemmed his enemy in with flourishing cuts and arcs of fire and then slid in like smoke to strike down upon them. To fight Lu Ten was to battle a liquid flame.

Azula bent out of the way of another strike and sent an arrow of blue flame at her cousin, only for him to spin out of the way and send an arc of searing fire roiling towards her like a wave from his sword arm. While she ducked out of the way, he rushed forward as she was blinded by the heat and light. Suddenly, he was upon her and all she could do was duck and dive around a flurry of attacks that came so fast she felt as if she was surrounded. Finally, in desperation, she tried to call on anything to come to her aid. The earth beneath Lu Ten’s feet shifted ever so slightly and caused his footing to slip, knocking his blade off the line and skittering away. Azula was allowed only the briefest exhilaration before her cousin dropped low and placed a palm against her abdomen, winning him the encounter. Azula cursed and sat down on the ground hard as she looked up at the grotto’s ceiling.

“Hey, you did better this time, you actually gave me a better workout than a lot of my instructors.” Lu Ten said as he wiped his face of sweat and drank from the bucket of clean water he’d brought with a tin cup. “That style is brutally efficient, give it a couple more years and you’ll be a terror with it, LaLa.”

If I don’t get executed first. Her mind helpfully supplied as she sighed. She looked up at Lu Ten, noting the tense demeanor of his stance, the way his shoulders moved tightly and how he drummed his fingers along his dao’s hilt. “What is going on?” She asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Lu Ten turned back and shot her a tight smile. “I…uh…I got you something.” He said as he walked to the back of the grotto and pulled a roll of canvas from a crevice. He hefted it up and moved over to Azula before placing it in front of her. The roll was maybe three meters long, she studied it with trepidation before raising a questioning eyebrow at her cousin. “Go ahead, open it.”

With careful fingers, Azula undid the knot that kept the canvas shut and rolled it out. Inside sat a jian in the most beautiful scabbard she’d laid eyes upon, it was midnight black with veins of blue running along it like lightning at night. The pommel was steel and held an engraved image of a Fire Nation flame. The handle was wrapped in soft leather that glided along her hand but allowed her a firm grip. The hilt was a similar dark steel that seemed to only barely catch the glint of sunlight. Hesitantly, Azula placed her hand on it and looked up at Lu Ten. When he nodded, she drew the blade and it shone with a luster she didn’t know was possible. While it looked normal at first glance, when the light caught the blade just right, it shone in rainbow hues like oil on water.

“Th-this is mine?” She asked, her voice softer than she thought possible. It was the first time she could remember getting a gift she truly wanted.

“Yeah…” Lu Ten said, his eyes sparkling. “It is, doesn’t have a name yet, either.”

Azula tilted her head in confusion. “A name?”

“Sure, every good weapon needs a name.” He patted his dao at his hip. “Like Hopebreaker!”

Azula gave Lu Ten a flat look. “You named your sword Hopebreaker?”

Her cousin had the decency to look chagrined at least. “I was fifteen and was finishing those scrolls about the boy who’s half evil spirit…”

Azula rolled her eyes so hard, she feared they would roll out. The banter cleared her head enough to ask the question that had pulled at her mind. “Why are you giving me this now?” It wasn’t her birthday or The Agni Festival.

Lu Ten seemed to visibly deflate. “I’m old enough now…Father’s called me to his side to lead the infantry for the siege.”

Azula felt a whirl of things, more than she had ever tried to analyze. It was as if several hammer blows had met her chest one after another. Lu Ten was leaving, Lu Ten was going to war, Lu Ten was heading to the frontlines, Lu Ten could die. It wasn’t mixing properly in her head. Azula The Princess would say that it was his duty as a loyal soldier to The Fire Nation. Azula The Traitor would…what would she want? To convince Lu Ten to find a way to stay? Ridiculous, there was no way it would happen.

“I…see.” Azula said slowly. “I suppose it was only a matter of time, thank you for the training cousin, I wish you luck.”

“Azula…” Lu Ten whispered. “It’s okay to be upset.”

“I’m not upset, it was an inevitability.”

Lu Ten’s expression softened into a sad smile. “Then why are you crying, LaLa?”

Azula’s hand shot up to her cheek and her fingers came away wet. So, that’s what it was like to cry from something other than pain, she’d never been allowed to do that before.

“Hey look,” Lu Ten said and he wrapped an arm around her. Azula stiffened in response before her body was coaxed by the warmth of him. “I have one more gift for you.” In his hand, he held a pommel about the size of the one already on her jian, but the engraving was different. Instead of the Fire Nation flame, it held all four of the elemental symbols, like how some showed the four nations in some older texts. Except instead, there were no walls dividing the elements, the ancient symbol for The Avatar. “I want you to one day live in a world where you can put this on your sword and wear it proudly. I want a world where my cousin can be The Avatar and not fear for her life.”

Azula gripped it with a shaking hand, what a dream that would be, a life without fear. She looked at the sword still in her lap and whispered a name. “Fear-Eater.”

That pommel sat in a secret loose plank for several years and that day was the last time she saw her cousin, but her secret did not die with him. Because when Lu Ten died, he left a letter for his father’s eyes alone tucked into his breast pocket. It only took General Iroh three years to open it.

Chapter Text

“Again.” Her father said, his hand was grasped onto her shoulder like an iron grip. The oppressive heat of Ozai’s private dojo made every breath like fire going down her lungs, but she stood once more and set herself into the starting stance of her form. She stared down her opponent in front of her. If she was tired, Zuko was practically swaying on his feet. Both of them were sweating profusely, trying to keep the cloying smoke out of their lungs. It was then that her father stepped back and spoke once more with a voice like a thunderclap. “Begin!”

Azula moved, sliding under an arc of flame that she expected as she closed the distance. Zuko was practiced in Grasping Fire, he favored explosive long range gouts of flame that kept his opponent at bay. Azula had been fighting her brother since she was old enough to bend and she knew the process. She would close distance, get under his guard and strike the moment he panicked. However, as much as Azula hated to admit it, her brother had an unnerving ability to adapt on the fly. Instead of the waist high arc she had expected, a rolling wave of flame came across the dojo at speed and Azula had to dive forward to avoid it before releasing two blasts from her fists and continuing her charge.

Her momentary pause to recover was capitalized by Zuko when he called forth a few blasts of his own and hopped back, creating more distance and resetting Azula’s advance. Azula didn’t hesitate, with a blast of flame at her feet, she rushed forward. Anticipating Zuko’s thought process, she ducked under the first blast of flame, parrying the second and third before fully dispersing the fourth. Now that she was within striking distance, Zuko’s firepower was largely a nonissue. He had power and accuracy, but he lacked speed and ferocity. She ducked under his guard and quickly knocked aside a sloppy strike to press her palm to his chest just as his own palm came in arcing fire. She flinched away from the heat on instinct, causing her attack to falter and requiring her to readjust. She whirled around to Zuko’s back, the points of her fingers aimed directly at his jugular.

“Point: Azula!” Ozai cried out, a hint of smug satisfaction as the heat of the room began to drop and Azula and Zuko shoved away from each other. Ozai turned to the guests in the room, three fire sages conferring with each other quietly.

The eldest among them stood. “We have reached a consensus.” Azula’s heart pounded with anticipation. “We have deemed that Princess Azula is worthy of the title of Master.” He bowed his head to each member of the royal family before turning to Azula. “Welcome to our ranks, Master Azula.”

Azula felt pride swell within her as she bowed and returned to kneeling. The cool air felt like a blessing and a curse as the coals underneath the floor were snuffed and windows were opened. It filled her lungs with sweet relief, but made her body sticky with the sweat of exertion. She remained stoic and kneeling outwardly as the sages took their leave and she was left with her father and Zuko alone.

“A disappointment of a performance on your end, boy.” Her father said, an edge of cruel command in his voice. “Though, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, as I always say, born lucky against lucky to be born.”

Once, Azula would have preened at those words, now they felt like an indictment of her existence. Born lucky, what a joke, she was born cursed more like. Past lives winding through her blood like unruly ghosts.

“You are perhaps half as good as your sister and that is being generous. I do not know why I try.” Her father continued as Zuko shrunk deeper into himself. Ridiculous, father hated cowards more than failures. “Get out of here, we will discuss your new training schedule later.”

Zuko ran from the room like Father had set him on fire and told him to go find the nearest well. She felt that satisfaction she’d been holding onto dwindle as her father’s hand landed on the back of her neck. “You flinched.” 

That was the only statement he needed for Azula’s body to start moving mechanically. Her hands moved to pull up the back of her training tunic, revealing a trail of several  scars. Dots the size of a thumb pad that started in between her shoulder blades and trailed down her spine. Measured punishment for each slip up, each errant strike, there were nineteen. Today would make twenty. Silently, Azula wished she’d just been lucky to be born. She didn’t scream, she learned that only made the pain last longer after the third one.

Azula did not flinch or move with stiffness as she made her way to her room. She walked with practiced precision, swallowing the pain and holding it back.  Zuko was sitting on the stairs up to the royal quarters, sniffling like a baby. Honestly, she was eleven and more in control than him. Something about the display made her blood boil into an incandescent rage as she approached him. Who was he to pretend like he knew hardship in training? Father didn’t even personally train him. He wasn’t worthy of such an honor, not special enough, not good enough and because of his inadequacy, she had to be trained alone.

“You know,” She hissed as she walked past him. “Father was rather harsh with his critique today.” She saw Zuko perk up for a moment, something akin to hope starting to light in his eyes. How naive. “If you were half as good as me, you’d be four times as good as you are.”

Her brother visibly deflated. “Yeah, Azula, whatever.”

Azula scoffed, that was not as fun as it should have been. There was no spark of outrage and indignation, no fight in the older boy, just resignation. Honestly, he was taking all the sport out of the exchange. Normally, Azula would have felt lucky to see the messenger boy that began running up the steps towards them, it would be something to tear her focus away. However, dread filled her as she saw his garb. He wore all white, that signaled that he delivered only one message, there had been a death in the royal line.

—————————————————————————

We regret to announce that Lu Ten, first of his name, born under Agni’s second eye, has perished in-

That was as far as she got before she had to stop reading, before the words became a blended slurry on the parchment. She didn’t cry, her eyes had given up on that the moment she had first heard the news, she had built a damn on those emotions, promised herself she could unleash it when Lu Ten returned, but that wasn’t going to happen. Lu Ten had died during the siege of Ba Sing Se. She rolled the sentence around in her head, tasted it on her lips, heard the tones of it from her voice. She did all of this privately, away from others, she couldn’t show them this. Not that they would care, of course, but best not to bring attention to it.

There was something that she had been able to show them, however. The anger, the outrage at her uncle for being a coward and retreating after gaining an advantage. They had already killed the one person who mattered, who among those earth barbarians had a right to live? None of them did, because Lu Ten was dead and it was their fault. She felt that rage in her and wanted to lash out like an animal, but she couldn’t. She kept herself contained and allowed only the briefest jab at her uncle before fading away under her mother’s condemnation.

It was easy enough to slip back to her secret grotto and train with Fear-Eater. The play of her muscles as she went through the forms allowed something to flow out of her, the emotion seemed to bleed through her strikes until she felt like she was slicing the air apart. Though, the blade felt off in her hand, like it was fighting her cuts. Azula frowned and pressed on with a thrust and twist. She imagined an Earth Kingdom soldier at the end of the blade, a strike across his gut and-

She was fighting against a tidal wave of soldiers, the damned ashbringers and their horrid surge tactics. The Trail of Embers, they called it, to march in wave after wave, never giving them enough time to recover. She looked up from the last man her kwan do had cleaved through and hefted it as a sea of stone spikes skewered half of them. Those stuck between them were met with a worse fate as she rushed forward and spread her hands out, flame charring them as it rushed between the spikes. Fire Nation scum burnt like kindling by her hands and-

Azula came to with a gasp, Fear-Eater tumbling from her hand as she collapsed to her knees. She had to take several deep breaths before she could manage to regain enough footing to lean against the grotto’s wall. Those had become more common as of late, flashes of memories that didn’t belong to her. Língmíng was the most common, maybe it was just that he was the most recent, but it also could be because of how familiar his anger felt. Each vision felt like a pressure in her head that refused to abate, like her past lives were pushing down upon her with the combined weight of their lives. It was getting to be-

Too much, this responsibility, it wasn’t hers, it couldn’t be. She didn’t want this anymore, didn’t want to bear this power or this weight. She didn’t know how to go a day without playing a prank, much less bring balance to a nation on the brink of war. She sped through the storm, rain and wind lashing at her like an angry spirit. It was an errant flash of lightning that did her in. She was tumbling through the sky, her bison far above, trying to reach her and then she was in the icy water. Drowning, drowning, drowning into-

Azula almost wretched on the floor before taking a few shaky breaths to right herself. She gulped down lungfuls of stagnant air before finally sitting upright once more. It wasn’t exactly a painful experience, but it was a shock to her system, like being dropped into the middle of a Northern ocean out of nowhere. She managed to collect herself and just in time to hear scrabbling sounds at the grotto’s entrance. She gripped Fear-Eater and stood as she heard voices beginning to approach closer.

“I’m telling you Mai, She’s been going here every other day!” A horrifyingly familiar voice says, growing closer.

“And I told you,” replies a far more monotone voice, carrying a hint of contrition. “I don’t do climbing unless I have to.”

Two sets of feet are Azula’s only remaining warning as she finishes fighting herself. She still has to lean against the wall, her lungs aching with the memory of water filling them. Ty Lee practically flounced into the grotto, her long braid twisting around her as if it had a mind of her home. She tried to look casual, like she had just been going on a stroll and hadn’t been hunting for Azula like a bloodhound. Behind her, Mai slid in more than walked, she was unobtrusive but still held a presence that drew one into her, like a shadow on the wall. For the briefest moment, the forms in front of Azula flickered and she saw-

Akaina, her beautiful eyes that were almost as light blue as the ice itself, the captain of her Immortals and her love, always there with an easy laugh and an easier smile-

Kuzon, his lip tugged up in a perpetual half smirk, that sarcastic wit ready to strike whenever the opportunity to call her nuts presented itself-

“Azula? Did you hear me?” Ty Lee was looking at her with concern. Mai had the courtesy of only fixing her with a raised eyebrow, which was equivalent to a tearful proclamation from her.

The firebending prodigy cleared her head and was able to fully process that they were in her grotto, standing there like it was nothing. Which meant they could see-

“Wow, Azula…” Ty Lee said as she scanned around, her gaze darting to objects that had been neatly organized, the bedroll in the corner and the stacks of scrolls Azula had managed to purloin from the royal library. As well as the small chair and the barrel she used as a table. “This place looks…”

“Lived in?” Mai supplied, her eyes were marking the smaller details, the way the stone floor of the area was worn smooth. The lantern with several discarded wicks next to it, Fear-Eater gripped in her hand, its scabbard at her waist. While the full picture wouldn’t be clear, the broader strokes would be, this place was sacred and they were treading on holy ground. “Um, Ty Lee, maybe we should…”

It was too much, Azula The Princess wasn’t supposed to be here, only The Traitor could exist in this place and now their lives were overlapping and blending in the most horrific way. So, she did what she knew and leaned on her father’s most foundational lesson. You can’t be hurt if you always strike first.

“What do you two think you are doing here?” Azula’s tone cracked across the grotto, bouncing off its walls like a blast from a navy ship.

Ty Lee stiffened slightly and turned to Azula. “Well, you’ve been gone for the past week and we got worried.”

“Are you implying that I, as a Princess of The Fire Nation, cannot take care of myself?” She lashed out. “Save such sentiments for Zuko, he’s the one who seems to have been bred for weakness.”

“Th-that’s not what I’m saying!” Ty Lee stutters out, nervousness and frustration evident on her face, good, it should get her away faster. “It’s just that your aura has been all black and blue and sometimes it doesn’t even look like yo-“

“Ah! The ever present aura, what a convenient hallucination to prescribe your eavesdropping or spying to. Tell me, does it feel good being a gossip and exposing every little secret you find?” Azula was launching towards a tirade and she could tell. “Does it finally make you feel important to have the attention you crave? Since we both know your mother and father won’t give it to you.”

That blow seemed to land hard as Ty Lee took several steps back like she was physically struck. Mai stepped between them and leveled a glare at Azula. “That’s enough, what’s gotten into you?” The anger began to boil over and mix with other feelings, bringing them to the surface.

“Well, if it isn’t my brother’s future harlot?” She sniped. “Did being traded for political favors by your father feel good? Knowing it’s the greatest thing you’ll ever achieve.”

Ty Lee actually pushed Mai away, there was a new thunder in her expression. “Why are you being such a jerk? It’s not our fault you were being all secretive! We’re supposed to be your friends!”

Azula’s voice took on a hard edge as she reared up for the blow to end it. “When did I ever imply we were friends?”

She expected a snarl and a condemnation, she expected tears and yelling and storming off. She did not expect Ty Lee to rush past Mai and smack Azula so hard that her vision went blank for several seconds. Azula shook her head and something in her snapped. She let loose a primal scream and launched herself at the acrobatic girl. There was no real strategy or forethought, Azula just wanted to hurt something. Her fist slammed into Ty Lee over and over, to her credit, the girl gave as good as she got. They became a whirling mess of scratches and bites and fists that made it impossible to tell where one began and the other ended. Azula’s vision simply became a blur of fury and desperation and-

She couldn’t stop fighting, she wouldn’t, Sozin was lost, but he was still her friend. Maybe he just needed someone to keep fighting for him, maybe if she just tried a little harder he-

Azula exploded back from the melee, panting from more than just the brawl. That last vision felt targeted. She and Ty Lee looked at each other, hunched over and panting, their clothes torn and ripped.

“Great, now that you both got that out of your system, can we get to the part where Azula realizes we’re not her enemy again?” Mai said in a tone as bored as if she was commenting on the weather from the lone chair, casually reading one of Azula’s scrolls. “Lot of history about the air nomads in here, kind of interesting. A lot of sword form scrolls, guess that makes sense though.”

Azula carefully took Fear-Eater off the ground, giving her blade a silent apology for dropping twice in such short succession and promising to give it a deep cleaning to make up for it, before sheathing it once more. “You both shouldn’t be here.” She muttered.

Ty Lee wiped blood from the corner of her mouth and rolled her eyes. “Azula, I don’t know what’s so hard about this! We’re friends, we care about you and all that stuff! Right, Mai?”

Mai looked up from the scroll on recorded airbender tactics seen by Fire Nation generals. “If you’re upset, you become even more of a menace. I consider this my duty to The Fire Nation fulfilled.” She said just as blankly as everything else, but the smallest tug of her lips told Azula she was teasing.

Azula allowed the most minute amount of tension to bleed out of her. She had to remind herself that these were not the palace sycophants that would whisper in Grandfather’s ear about her most minor transgressions. These were Mai and Ty Lee and they were hers. 

“Very well, you may stay, but do not distract me from my practice.” Azula would have to pause on her attempts to bend air, but it wasn’t like she was making any progress there.

“Oooooh!” Ty Lee exclaimed, clapping her hands together in excitement. “Can we spar some? I’ve been practicing my chi blocking! What are you working on?”

“Combining Way of The Dutiful Flame with Phoenix Sword.” Azula replied, he jian wasn’t built for the same arcing slashes as Lu Ten’s dao, but the idea of combining a sword form with a kata style had stuck with her. The Dutiful Flame was already known for its sharp and precise strikes, the type that let masters punch through Imperial Class warship armor. Phoenix Sword was about rushes of thrusts that would force an opponent to parry and block less vital areas, opening them to decisive strikes against critical vital points.

“Man, you firebenders and all your fancy kata names and stuff. Who even comes up with this stuff?”

“Whoever invents the form, most wish to make the name memorable, there are plenty of forms and styles that have faded into obscurity over the centuries because they didn’t catch people’s eyes. My own kata form has a direct opposite that makes one’s flames blood red, but Flame of The Heart’s Blood didn’t ever take off.” Azula explained as she carefully checked over Fear-Eater once more, checking to see if dropping it had nicked or knurled the edge in a way she’d have to take care of. “Mai will you be joining us?”

“Not this time.” Mai said as she picked up another scroll. “I left my knives at our estate today and I’m actually finding this stuff pretty interesting. Didn’t know that air nomads were vegetarians.”

“Only the monks.” Azula spoke, feeling the information more than actually knowing it, like something she’d grown used to correcting others about. “They believed the consumption of flesh would keep them tied to their earthly desires. The actual nomads were willing to eat meat because they understood how deeply they relied on the herds and saw themselves as a natural part of the cycle of life, culling the old and the weakest. Air nomads were known to be very vicious hunters, imagine how much more accurately you could shoot a bow when you could negate the wind”

They went on like that for a while and even though the weight of Lu Ten’s death weighed on her just as heavily as when he left three years ago. Azula genuinely felt lighter than she had since learning of it. Maybe… a traitorous thought began to grow, like an errant ember. Maybe it’s ok to let them in.

—————————————————————————

Azula finished her performance for her grandfather and took a deep breath, feeling her chi settle. Another year since Lu Ten’s death and even her twelve year old self could see the pai sho pieces her father was playing with. A show of force and competence before his father, a show of potential heirs. Azula had been questioned on Fire nation history, she’d answered dutifully, even when the memories of the monk boy practically screamed about how wrong they were. She knew that the air nomads had no standing army, knew that it was not their way to be anything but practicing pacifists. Yet, she also knew about The Brotherhood of Silence, knew that not all air nomads were so lenient when their enemies came. Some could and did consume all the air in a room or drag it out of a person’s lungs. Regardless, she could see what her father’s ploy was, even if Zuko wore that perpetual look of confusion he always did when it came to politics. Truly, he had no mind for the subject.

When they were dismissed, however, Azula found it simple to slip behind a pillar and listen. The light steps of Aang and the mission silence of Língmíng finally aiding her with their memories rather than being a hindrance. The conversation had gone about where Azula had expected it to at first. Her uncle was weak, ever since his return to the palace, he doted on Zuko more than even her mother did. It was like he was already looking for a replacement for Lu Ten, it made her teeth grind just thinking about it.

In her rage, she almost believed she misheard when the conversation shifted. “You dare ask this of me when your brother is grieving the loss of a son?” Azulon thundered, the braziers lighting white with the flames of his own original technique, The Star’s Inferno. “Then kill your own son! Perhaps if you understand his pain, I will consider you as my successor then!”

Azula froze, her mind ran the calculations, any rational person would refuse such a request. Yet, her father was ambition incarnate, an unstoppable force. “As you wish, my lord.” Azula darted from the room as fast as she could without being spotted.

Her heart was pounding, her father was going to kill her brother. She wished she could feel satisfied by that, wished the hate in her could extend and grow so easily. Yet, she’d already lost Lu Ten, it felt unfair that she’d lose two. Her feet carried her to her mother’s chambers almost automatically, as if her feet knew the route that she’d hardly taken by heart. Standing there, she knew there was no reversing this decision, whatever happened next would put her on a clock, some invisible karmic wheel would start spinning towards her discovery. Still, she gathered her courage and knocked on her mother’s door.

It swung open and her mother stood in all her radiance, it was easy to see why her father had married her when she looked objectively beautiful even while clearly preparing for bed soon. “Azula,” she said, her eyes awash with confusion. “To what do I owe this pleasure? Does your father require me?” And wasn’t it ironic that they were so detached from one another that her own mother viewed her as just an extension of her father.

“Mother,” Azula said, her tone grim. “I have some things to tell you.”

When she’d finished her tale, her mother looked pale, she had delivered the conversation with the accuracy of a court spy. Azula didn’t wait to see the aftermath, she needed to be free from this, she needed her girls. Yet, it was late, so instead, she returned to her room and waited. She heard her mother creep into Zuko’s room and speak to him. Azula waited. She heard her leave him, confused and worried. Azula waited. Heard her mother’s footsteps pad towards her own and pause outside. Azula waited. Heard a heavy sigh as those footsteps continued on. Azula waited. Her mother’s footfalls faded away. Azula breathed heavily through her nose, she didn’t know what she expected. Why would one act erase the monster her mother saw?

Finally, she moved, her body still in that state where she was not entirely giving it commands. She crept along rooftops to Mai’s estate first, it was the closest after all and most nights, she’d find Ty Lee there as well. Mai’s parents were almost always away and Ty Lee’s almost never noticed she was gone unless it was time to do inventory for their trading lines. She tapped on the wooden shutters of the second story window where Mai’s room was. It was a trivial enough pursuit for her skills to get up there, though the new guards did add a new level of challenge to the endeavor. The window swung open and Azula was snapped out of her fugue state by the gust of warm air that buffeted her and left her reeling, her footing crumbling beneath her. She was about to fall, maybe a blast of flame would catch her, maybe she could generate just enough propulsion she cou-

Air blasted against her back, a heavy unseen force sending her tumbling into the window and onto Mai’s floor with a thud. She looked up and there was Ty Lee, in a stance she had never seen, looking terrified. Her mind raced with possibilities until the rumors started to come back to her. It wasn’t uncommon for some soldiers to have taken women amongst the air nomads as spoils of war. Some even ended up marrying their captors. Ty Lee’s family were merchants now, but they’d gotten their start as mercenaries in Sozin’s army. Ty Lee was an airbender and she looked absolutely terrified.

Azula considered simply accusing her, maybe going and telling her father in hopes of some leniency. The idea shriveled like a corpse left out in the sun. The truth was, Azula was tired of the secrets and lies she was cloaked in. As she thought about it, she could see the collision course she was on. She just missed trusting someone, missed having a person that she could know not to be like the hidden political knives of the courts and Ministers. She wanted to trust her girls and she knew as clear as day, thanks to Lu Ten’s voice in echoing one of his many platitudes, that trust went both ways. So, with a sigh, she lifted her palm and focused until a small circle of air rotated the dust on the floor from her fall. The brush that Mai had been holding clattered, Ty Lee gasped aloud and Azula looked at them with exhausted eyes.

“We have a lot to discuss.”

Chapter Text

Ty Lee and Mai stared at Azula like she’d suddenly sprouted wings and begun flying around the room while singing a bawdy tavern song.

“I’ve seen you bend fire…” Mai said slowly.

“Yes, I am quite the prodigy at it if you were unaware.” Azula said as she slumped forward, already dreading this conversation.

“But you just…the air…you bent it!” Ty Lee exclaimed.

“As long as we’re stating the obvious, so did you, Ty Lee. Though I can tell what you’re getting at. In the effort of expediency, I will simply state that what you’re thinking is true.”

“Agni’s charred balls…” Mai whispered

Azula blinked twice, she’d never heard Mai let out more than a brief sigh of exasperation to a situation. “Yes, well…” Azula cleared her throat. “You can see why I’d want to keep this quiet.

Ty Lee was still staring dumbfounded at Azula, she managed to shake herself free from her stupor at last and then seemed to enter a new one as she stared down at her hands. “I…airbended…I…how did…?” She tilted her head as if listening to a melody only she could hear and bent her arm in a way not dissimilar from a kata. With a thrust, air swirled and snuffed out two of Mai’s lanterns. Ty Lee’s eyes snapped open and she laughed in disbelief. “I’m an airbender!” It almost immediately gave way to horror as realization began to dawn on her. “I’m an airbender and one of my best friends is The Avatar. Oh…this is not good.”

“That is putting it mildly.” Azula said, a tinge of nervousness almost creeping into her voice before she shut it down with prejudice. She was planning now, her mind like a damned lake with all the sluice gates unlocked. Thoughts ran through rivers and tributaries of possibilities before settling on the broad strokes. “We need to plan an exit strategy. It will only be a matter of time until one of our secrets is revealed and while I was trained to withstand torture, you two are less likely to succeed.”

Mai scoffed and rolled her eyes. “No offense, Azula, but we don’t exactly have the training or actual resources to get out of here. Ty Lee could maybe manage it, but you and I? We don’t have money because everything is taken care of for us.”

Azula considered the words carefully, rearranging thoughts and ideas as if they were parts of a puzzle box. “So, we act slowly, cautiously, we gather funds and supplies and begin to formulate a plan. While we do so, we train, we gain the necessary skills and then…” Azula braced herself for what she was about to say. “Then we leave the Fire Nation for good.”

Mai and Ty Lee turned to each other and seemed to have a silent conversation before Ty Lee turned to her. “But…you’re The Avatar, aren’t you supposed to, y’know, bring balance to the world?”

Azula felt frustration rise in her. “Just because some ghosts decided to latch onto my spirit like barnacles on a navy ship, does not mean I am obligated to do as they ask.” Her head lanced with pain and-

“Just because I am stuck with these memories doesn’t mean that I must accept their commands!” She shouted, fists clenched as she stared down her elder. “I will not be your weapon!”

“No, Lusa.” His voice was grave, like he was already mourning her. “But you will be our shield.”

Azula stumbled only slightly, but that was enough to draw her companions concerned gazes. “I’m fine, it happens sometimes, memories from other Avatars.”

“Riiiiight,” Mai said, drawing out the word as she turned. “Moving on from the fact that Azula is possessed, I guess I can use those scrolls you took to find someplace we can hole up for a while. From what I was reading in your hideout, the air nomads had a lot of different hideaways.”

Azula blinked, it had only just occurred to her that Mai was talking as if her following them was expected. “You do not have to come with us, you have a life and a future here.”

“As your brother’s arm candy?”

Azula stiffened involuntarily. “I was…out of line when I said that, it has only just now occurred to me that I never properly apologized.”

Mai waved a hand. “Save it, you were right, my parents practically bred me for politics. But, pouring over those scrolls in your grotto? Finding all the hidden secrets in history? Azula, this past year has been the only time I’ve felt actual passion about anything.” Her voice grew into a fervor that Azula didn’t know she was capable of. “I want to learn more, see more, I can’t do that if I’m playing a paper doll for my family and their expectations. You guys being on the run? That’ll just be a bonus when I write a memoir.”

Ty Lee looked at Mai with wonder and awe. “Your aura is pink, it’s never been pink before!”

Azula sighed and let herself bask in the moment for a breath before nodding and looking at both of her friends. Then it’s decided, we plan, we train, we escape.”

“Right,” Ty Lee said, apprehension clear in her voice. “Just…gotta figure out airbending…in secret…with no instructions…”

Azula sighed, she didn’t want to do this, but Ty Lee always worked better when she was helping someone. “I suppose…anything you figure out, you can try to teach me.” Her heart soared inside, ready to stretch long forgotten muscles. While Azula felt sick, it had always been a feeling in the back of her mind, every time she used air or earth, she was betraying everything her father built her for. She was meant to be the sword, now she was taking the first step in being the dagger in her nation’s back. The scars along her spine burned with remembered failure. What had become of her?

She shook the thought off and stood. “I don’t think I need to tell you that I’m placing a ridiculous amount of trust in you with this secret. I-“ She tried to get the words out, they clawed at her throat like a wild animal that didn’t know which way to leave to escape. Despite everything, she just couldn’t. “I should head back, things are going to be intense in the palace for a while.”

“Why?” Ty Lee asked

“Oh…nothing major.” Azula said with forced casualty. “Just my father plotting my brother’s murder.”

The silence was almost more dreadful than the initial panic. That night, the entire palace had been in an uproar, Firelord Azulon had been found dead in his sleep. His last act had been signing his name on the document that named Prince Ozai, now Firelord Ozai, his successor. No one mentioned that Ursa, his wife and the woman who had birthed his children had disappeared in the night as well. Everyone in the palace knew that some things were best left as quiet mysteries, things that were known but never spoken of. Everyone knew this, except Zuko. Azula’s brother sobbed inconsolably, a fourteen year old boy, weeping like a toddler. It was too much for Azula not to lash out after the third hour of his wailing in the royal chambers of their mother.

“Oh, do be quiet!” She snapped. “Your incessant whimpering is not going to change things.”

“She’s gone!” He screamed at her, rage in his eyes as his hands ignited in flame. “Do you just not care?”

Azula raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “About what, ZuZu? A woman I barely knew and had no interest in me until I gave her something useful is gone. Forgive me if my heart does not break for your favorite nursemaid.” Inside, Azula was struggling to remember why she cared enough to save her brother’s life in the first place. For the briefest instance, a flash of Lu Ten’s face appeared in her vision and she threw that thought away. She was not Iroh, she would not besmirch Lu Ten’s memory by pretending Zuko could be anything like him.

Zuko yelled something primal and his fist released a blast of fire larger than any other he had before. It roiled forward, fueled by pure rage. Anger and hate, Lu Ten’s words from one of their training sessions came to Azula. Are powerful when used instead of breath, but they’re a crutch, they lack control, lack discipline and are easily dispersed. With little effort, Azula sent a blazing trail of blue flame forward and split Zuko’s blast in half, parting it around her as she glared at him.

“You made her leave!” He screamed, half feral, his hair coming undone from its top knot in strands. “I don’t know how, but it’s your fault! You’re a monster and she always knew it!”

Azula laughed and she didn’t stop laughing. The pure irony of how right and how wrong her brother was cracked something deep within her. She couldn’t stop the cackle that was spewing out of her. She wasn’t a monster for what she did, she was a monster for what she was. Every moment that Azula existed, she betrayed the Fire Nation, she spat at her father’s feet. She was everything that was anathema to her country’s glory. She was the most vile thing in existence and Zuko thought that saving his life was the worst thing she could have done. It was a comical act that left her gasping for air. Zuko was staring at her like she had lost her mind, perhaps she finally had. She stood gracefully, the smirk of Azula The Princess firmly back in place.

“Thank you for that, brother.” She said, her voice a paragon of polite etiquette. “I needed a good laugh.”

He tried to yell after her, to get her to face him, but his voice had turned into little more than a buzzing sensation in her head. She had to begin her planning, one more person who thought she was a monster wasn’t going to change that. After all, what could Zuko say that she didn’t already know?

—————————————————————————

The vision started the same way each time, she was sitting in a room, playing with a young girl, no older than three summers. Her face still held the cherubic appearance of very young children as she giggled and gasped. Azula’s hands danced along the younger girls vision and all she could think was how she would give anything to keep her safe, do anything for this small life.  Then, the rumbling began, a low and insidious drumming against the earth that made it tremble. She turns to look out the window and is greeted by a sea of Fire Nation soldiers.

She wanted to fight, saw her parents armed with little more than clubs and farm tools ready to stand tall. Yet, she was small and young and the child in her arms was too precious. So, she ran and ran until she felt like she'd run for miles, the only hint of her village, a corona of fire off in the distance. She hid in the forest and hoped to be safe, to keep the girl safe. She didn’t, the vision blurred, but she knew that the flames that she saw were not a campfire, they were too small. 

The rage consumed her, a man earthquake in her soul that tore apart the ground around her. In that instant, one became many and they went to inflict as much harm as possible to these scum that flaunted their disregard for the balance of the world. Soldiers drowned in mudslides, were shredded by blades of rain, reduced to ashes as their own fire turned on them. It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough, her sister was dead and The Avatar wouldn’t be satisfied until every last bearer of that accursed flame insignia was dead.

Azula gasped and shot up, gripping her neck as desperate ragged breaths. A pair of hands stabilized her as she slumped forward, her head spinning like a pinwheel firework at Agni’s Festival. Someone was talking to her, but it took several seconds for her thoughts to rearrange enough that she could assemble the noises she heard into words and then into a sentence.

“Azula!” Ty Lee shouted, her grip on the reluctant Avatar’s shoulders tightening. “Are you okay? That was a really long one.” Her braid had gotten ridiculous, it went all the way to her calves now and yet it never seemed to get in her way. She’d reached the awkward time of being tall and skinny but not being old enough to have it fill out in any way that didn’t make her look slightly awkward in her body. Not that Azula had any room to talk on the subject, fourteen and she’d barely grown a few inches taller than when she was twelve.

“How long?” Azula rasped as she grasped at the canteen Ty Lee offered her and greedily gulped down half of it.

“Forty-two seconds.” Mai answered as she checked an hourglass nearby. The bifocals she now wore thanks to the hours she spent reading in low light glinting against the lantern’s glow next to her. “Second longest, only beaten by that one from Lusa that you refuse to elaborate on.”

Azula did her best to hide the red that must have crept up her neck at the memory of the minute long vision from the waterbender’s memories. Seeing a woman and her lover being intimate from the perspective of one of them was an uncomfortable experience for several reasons. She stood and cleared her throat. “Regardless, It was Língmíng again.”

“Anything new?” Ty Lee asked as she flipped into a handstand.

“No,” Azula said with a frustrated huff. “It was the night he first entered The Avatar State, again.”

“Based on what I could piece together, that’s when he got that tacky nickname. Some archer got him right in the chest with an arrow and it just…did nothing.”

Azula found herself grimacing and rubbing her sternum with phantom pain. “Oh, it did something, The Avatar State just protected him by drawing minerals in and creating a hardened layer around his heart. It nearly killed him, but nearly is better than truly.”

Ty Lee let out a low whistle. “Could you do that?”

Azula shook her head. “Not without surrendering to those other spirits and even then…it’s a risky move with a less than favorable chance of survival.”

Mai nodded. “Right, so, no turning your heart into a rock.”

Azula rolled her eyes and looked around before standing. “With that out of the way, I think I’m close to it.”

Both the other girls perked up. “Really?” Ty Lee asked, bouncing up and down in excitement. Mai simply shut the journal she was reading and looked up with a raised and expectant eyebrow.

Azula faced the exit of the grotto, her eyes fixed on the water just outside and took a deep breath. Her hands moved in a circle, as sparks began to slough off her fingers. First, came the negative charge, she channeled all of her anger and despair into her left hand. Sparks became electricity and left a crackling arc in the air. Next was the positive charge, she held her memories of Lu Ten, her thoughts of Ty Lee and Mai in her right hand. The two electric hands formed a complete circle and Azula thrust it forward with the neutral charge, intent, focused and sharped. Light flashed in blinding white with a large crack of thunder as a bolt of pure lightning cracked across the water like a whip. Azula felt pride sing in her heart as she stared at the hole the light left in her vision. Two years of training and she’d managed to finally bend lightning, the most difficult form of firebending known.

“Well, that’s my main goal complete.” Azula said with a prim tone, feeling all too pleased with herself. “What about you two?”

Mai hummed as she pulled out several maps from the bag she kept in the grotto. The place had gotten more crowded as they’d grown and planned and now was as much Mai and Ty Lee’s as it was Azula’s. There were trinkets and odds and ends from both the girls everywhere, Mai’s knives, Ty Lee’s training weights. The only place left untouched was where Azula set down Fear-Eater, the same place Lu Ten had stored it before first giving it to her. That spot was a place of honor neither girl trespassed upon.

“Well, Plan A through C are still viable but only if things go as predicted.” Mai said as she scanned her maps, her voice matter of fact as always. “Plan D is our most stable one, provided my research is right and Ty Lee can actually pull off what we need.”

With that, Azula turned to Ty Lee and raised an eyebrow, the girl smiled and rocked her hand side to side. “I’m still not great at it, but I should be able to pull it off, might just not be quick.”

Azula nodded and turned to hide her grimace. She had been trying for the better part of these two years to push anything more than the barest breezes and she had gotten nowhere. She was a prodigy with fire and Earth she could at least manage simple and useful maneuvers with but with air and water? Those elements felt unbelievably silent to her. She was not a person used to failure and while Ty Lee continued to improve, Azula had stagnated. It was such an odd thing to feel frustrated that she wasn’t progressing in something that felt so parasitic. Akin to being angry that a terminal illness wasn’t putrefacting her organs quicker.

Still, as Mai smiled softly at Ty Lee, the beginnings of a flickering warmth grew in Azula’s chest. She opened her mouth to speak. “I-“ The girls turned to her, eyes expectant, the words still did not leave her. “I should go, people may ask questions if I’m not seen soon.” With that, she fled and swallowed the lump in her throat.

When she’d finished climbing the sheer ocean cliff that was the only path to the grotto, Azula moved with practiced grace to the courtyard. She had planned to be seen mingling with the ministers and admirals, clearly making connections for all to see. However, she was blockaded by an aged old man, his smile genial in a way it had no right to be. His hands were clasped in front of him and he made no attempt to hide his liver spots.

“My dear niece,” Iroh said, his voice one of practiced patience. “I had hoped we might have a conversation over a spot of tea?”

Azula’s eyes narrowed immediately, what did he want? What was he planning? What benefit did he gain from this move? Unfortunately for her, the only way to get answers was to play his game. Azula had never held any notions that her uncle was the doddering fool he’d begun to play, a decade long conquest was not forgotten by four years of foolishness in her eyes. While most saw the version he had crafted since his failure Ba Sing Se, Azula had been born a liar.

“Very well, Uncle, may I ask for what purpose you wish to speak to me?” She said, keeping her tone cordial but carefully detached.

Iroh smiled, but there was a tightness to it, like he was trying to disguise something sour on his tongue. “I recently read a letter that I have long been procrastinating on and it mentioned you in great detail. I would love to discuss the contents with you over some jasmine tea and pai sho.”

Azula’s mind whirled, a letter? From whom? And when? Still, she nodded and followed Iroh as he walked down through the courtyard. His face never left that open and genial expression for long, but Azula could see how his head subtly tilted to conversations or how his eyes studied certain groups a bit longer.  Iroh was a schemer in the guise of a fool and yet, she could not for the life of her figure out what the scheme was.

They made it to Iroh’s private chambers and the old man immediately got to work with a teapot. His hands worked with the same meticulous care that she cleaned Fear-Eater with. Careful and methodical, almost reverent as he set it on the fire to boil. As the pot boiled, he pulled a pai sho board out and placed it on the table. “Which version of the game would you prefer?”

Azula wanted to tell him to take his pai sho board and speak plainly before she incinerated it and made him swallow the ash. Instead, she fixed her face into impassivity. “Skud.”

Skud Pai Sho was a game where each player tried to create harmonies amongst the flowers on their tiles while also trying to prevent their opponent from doing the same. It was complex and required a level of deceit to trick one’s opponent into believing they were completing one harmony instead of another.

Iroh nodded and held up his first tile, a white lotus that he placed directly in the middle. It was a bold strategy, allowing for several vectors to begin building, but Azula immediately shut one of those down with a jasmine tile. The game went on like that, with Iroh attempting to build grand harmonies off a single piece and Azula quickly snapping them off at the pass. Multiple times, she tried to get him to simply tell her why he wished to speak with her, but the old man simply shook his head.

“After the tea is finished, I think.”

When the last tile was placed, Iroh and Azula looked upon the board. It was a very telling game, Iroh had still managed a few minor harmonies, but none of his larger ones had gone anywhere. Azula had no harmonies, she had devoted every resource to stopping her uncle at every turn.

“It seems you win, Uncle.” Azula said through gritted teeth as she bowed her head.

“I find the victory lies in what the game tells us about ourselves.” Iroh said as he finally began to pour the tea into two cups, first Azula’s and then his own. “I, for one, should take this game as a sign to stop planning so grandly and focus on smaller things. If one focuses too much on the landscape, they will never finish the painting. Did you learn anything, niece?”

Azula rolled her eyes at the platitude and sighed as she looked down at the board. She saw her mistake clearly, aggression out of fear. She feared her opponents victory and so she struck out first rather than growing and building her own strength. “Nothing too important.” She answered as she swirled the tea in her hand. “Regardless, Uncle, would you care to explain why I’m here?”

Iroh’s demeanor shifted and his eyes took on a grave appearance. “I suppose I put it off long enough.” With that, he drew a letter from his sleeve and placed it in front of Azula. It was yellowed with age and had a long dried bloodstain on the corner, but the wax seal looked freshly broken. In all too familiar writing were the words “For My Father’s Eyes Only, In The Event Of My Death.” Lu Ten’s last message. Icy grief and dread mixes in her gut, what could it say? Her hand unconsciously reached towards it, and her fingers rested on the paper.

“I will admit to a level of cowardice.” Iroh continued as she slowly inched the letter closer. “I was terrified of what it would say, so I only read it for the first time last night. Pathetic, I know, but I am old and grief seems to be the only sadness that aches more as you age.”

Azula swallowed and opened the letter.

Father,

If you are reading this, than I am most assuredly dead. I won’t waste words on that matter. Except to say that, no matter what, I don’t blame you. War is a vile thing as I’ve come to learn in three years of fighting. Would that I could do away with the whole concept, but one man doesn’t end a war. However, I don’t write this letter for that reason, or at least, for that reason alone. 

I confess that I’ve harbored a great secret, father. I know the identity of The Avatar and I hope more than anything you will help her survive.

That’s as far as Azula got before she launched out of her seat in terror, eyes fixed on Iroh. She focused on him like an opponent and immediately began to watch his footing, his hands, his demeanor. Her uncle was The Dragon of The West and he did not earn that name lightly. Could she beat him? No, even at his age, he still was a mater of five different forms. She could get away, but then what? Iroh sipped his tea.

“Well, this is the part where I tell you I have no intention of revealing your identity, niece.” He looked casual, relaxed and Azula could see why it would make him a fearsome general. What kind of man could march an army forward while commenting on how nice the weather was.

“Why?” Azula asked, still tense, still watching. If Azula was a liar, Iroh was something else. For all her talk of not falling for his guise, she still had underestimated him. He had shown her a mask and she’d assumed it was the only one he wore.

“Because,” Iroh said and set his tea down. “The world needs The Avatar.”

Azula scoffed. “Sorry to disappoint, Uncle, but I am not going to restore the precious balance the spirits wail on about in tales.”

Her Uncle shrugged as if they were disagreeing on a preference in spices. “You may believe that, but destiny is like a river full of rapids. You can fight it, but it will carry you all the same. You’re only deciding how tired you’ll be at the end.”

Azula grimaced and glared at Iroh. “Have you ever considered not speaking in poetic metaphor?”

Iroh grinned and chuckled sadly. “You’ll find many old men pick up the unfortunate habit of needing to make words into wisdom. We tend to have less to spare.” He sipped his tea. “So, now that you are aware of my knowledge, what do you plan to do?”

Azula thought for a moment before deciding then and there. She would stay the course, her plans were solid and in perhaps another year or so, she would be able to flee freely. Destiny held other notions however, because one week later, her brother would be challenged to an Agni Kai and everything would change.

When she heard the challenge had been issued because her brother had spoken out of turn in a war meeting and insulted a general’s honor, she’d honestly been impressed. It was a bold political move, angering a high ranking official and causing him to challenge Zuko impulsively. Zuko wasn’t the level of prodigy Azula was, only just recently making it to his mastery, but he was still taught by the best instructors in the nation. It would have been a good entry into politics through strength.

Then she saw his true opponent and realized that it wasn’t a political move from Zuko, it was her father culling the weak. He towered over Zuko like he had done to her many times before, but unlike Azula who had learned never to flinch, never to show fear. Zuko crumbled and begged not to fight him. Ridiculous, Father despised cowardice much more than failure. As smoke curled from her brother’s face, Azula found herself comparing his screams to hers, before she learned that they didn’t help. His were louder. Hers were higher.

Then came the proclamation and Azula’s heart dropped like a lead weight and she turned to see Iroh staring at her. Iroh who had always loved Zuko, Iroh who clearly saw a second chance in her brother, Iroh who knew her secret, Iroh who despite his promises, she did not trust now that the choice was her or Zuko. As quietly and inconspicuously as possible, she left the palace, went to Mai’s estate and together they left to get Ty Lee, once altogether, they went to a secret grotto that had been hidden from prying eyes for years and then slipped between the guard rotations at the gate of Caldera. Each moment they made distant a weight both gained and lessened. By midnight, they managed to buy passage with a caravan that didn’t ask questions about the jewels they studied Mai’s map to make sure their path was correct. 

It would only be a few days to The Western Air Temple.

Chapter Text

“Azu-, I mean, um, Rin?” A voice called out, dragging Azula up from the depths of slumber she’d found herself in. She blinked hard at the glaring light of dawn, judging by the hue of the sky, she’d slept six hours. That was sloppy for her, she’d have to train hard to make up for it. She turned to the person who had woken up, Ty Lee, her face a mask of apprehension.

“Yes, Chie? Is there a problem?” She asked, the fake names they’d given to the caravan master flowing much easier from her lips. The caravan master whose entourage they’d been part of for much longer than they’d initially intended. What had been planned to be a journey of a couple days to the canyon near the Western Air Temple had been waylaid into one of weeks as a broken dam had washed half the  road the caravan master had planned to take away. Leaving him needing to take a much longer alternative route.

“Hideyo was asking if you could help him up front today?” Ty Lee asked, her voice softer than usual as Azula grimaced. Hideyo was one of the caravan master’s two scouts and had been so impressed when Azula had helped the caravan by spotting the sign of a wild Komodo Rhino herd nearby and helping them avoid it that he had practically begged her to aid him in scouting. She had agreed in return for a few special privileges, hence why Azula, Mai and Ty Lee had their own cart to sleep in rather than sharing with others. The fact that they were, in fact, sharing it with goods intended to be sold was a minor point. Azula would have preferred to scout with Haru, but the girl preferred to keep an eye on their rear alone.

There was just one issue that Azula could think of as she strapped her jian around her waist and made the trek to the front. She gave a respectful nod to Kinu, the caravan master before heading further ahead to range with Hideyo. The boy only a year older than her grinned as she approached. It may have seemed odd that the young were being used as scouts, but with most of the caravan’s passengers being the old and infirm that couldn’t serve in the army and the few able bodied men needed to guard the cargo, they were the only able bodied option left.

“Rin!” He shouted as she approached, his voice booming. “I was wondering when you would show up!” He was blushing slightly, his pupils dilated as he chuckled uncomfortably. Yes, the only problem was that Hideyo had a crush. “Did you get a chance to talk to Fumiko about what I asked you?” Which would have been manageable, if it wasn’t on Mai.

“I know this may seem a difficult concept for you to grasp, Hideyo, considering the only other women you talk to are your mother and I.” Azula said primly as she began scanning the treeline. “Yet, I feel I should reiterate that women are more receptive when you grow a pair and talk to them yourself. You know, like a person with thoughts and those emotions the rest of humanity is so fond of.”

“Says the one who told Haru that you thought her nails were ‘perfect for concealed weapons, sharp and able to gouge an enemy’s eyes.’ She still stares at her nails in horror sometimes.”

Azula rolled her eyes. “That wasn’t even flirting, I was paying her a genuine compliment. Something you can’t do without stuttering over your sentences as if you randomly developed a speech impediment.”

Hideyo rubbed the back of his neck. “I know but it’s just hard, Fumiko is so smart and beautiful. I’m just nothing great and since she’s your friend I thought you could put in a good word for me and-“

They continued on like this for a while, bantering while Azula considered ways to possibly throw Hideyo off a cliff. Itwas calming, being useful like that, her blade honed for any coming trouble. It was a tension in her body that she could unspool. Then, something reeled it all back in.

“Hideyo, shut up.” Azula said as a glint of metal off the road caught her vision. Hideyo immediately quieted and crouched low as Azula did the same. She moved closer until she was right on top of it and was able to inspect what she found more closely. On the ground, half buried was a pile of fire nation insignia’s that looked like they’d been cut off from pauldrons. Azula touched the edge of one and frowned. “Deserters…These were severed with firebending, and recently too, the edges are still warm. Anyone with that level of control would most likely be a corporal, maybe…First Rank? Definitely not Second though, cuts aren’t clean enough.”

“Deserters?” Hideyo asked, his voice strained with a deep anger that Azula recognized, for whatever reason, Hideyo hated these people. “You said a corporal, not a master then?”

Azula shakes her head, forgetting that she’s not talking to someone well versed in the command structure of The Imperial Infantry. “He most likely is, military rank always goes before mastery, though.” She stood, scanning the treeline. “This is an issue, deserters will be desperate for food and supplies. More importantly…” She pulled one of the metallic pieces out and held it up, underneath the flame insignia was a pair of crossed arrows held in a clenched fist. “This is a recon unit, judging by the number, a full squad.”

Hideyo growled audibly, quietly stringing his bow and grabbing an arrow from his hip quiver. “How many would you say that is?”

Azula thought for a moment, calculating what she knew about the area from Mai’s research. “This place isn’t particularly well traveled or heavy in dangerous fauna, so they’ve most likely not suffered in heavy losses. Eight, including the corporal, maybe six if we’re lucky, twelve if we aren’t. The main issue is that they’ll have trapped the area and kept an eye on main roads.”

Hideyo’s voice took on a hard edge. “So if we continue, we’d be walking in a trap.”

Azula couldn’t help the smirk that crept up her face. “No, we’re already in it. No recon unit would have left this evidence unless they wanted it to be found. Which means, they want us to rush back to the caravan and alert them.”

“Okay, maybe I’m stupid, but I can’t think of a single reason why ambushers would want us to know they’re waiting for us.” Hideyo said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it, Rin?”

Azula really had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “Because the ambush isn’t here, it’s on the next road we would take to detour, right next to the river. It’d be easy to pin a caravan of mostly refugees there.” She’s speaking with the experience of one who studied under generals for most of her life. 

“So, what do we do then?” Hideyo asks, chewing his lip in thought. “No way they’d leave this area unwatched either.”

Azula smirked as her body thrummed in anticipation, there was a building storm in her veins, a tempest that was growing by the second. “Head back, get Chie and Yumiko and then come to me. Meanwhile, you stay with the caravan and guide them to their trap.”

“I’m sorry.” Hideyo said, his eyes full of confusion and hesitation. Those were not the eyes of a warrior or a leader, they are the eyes of someone who wanted revenge. That would be a liability, someone who couldn’t think rationally. “Did you say you want me to guide our caravan into an ambush?”

“What’s the saying?” Azula asked rhetorically. “Better the viperwolf you know then the one you don’t?”

—————————————————————————

They crept through the underbrush like phantoms in the night. Fear-Eater practically vibrated in her hand, the fire nation insignia on the pommel felt heavy, like it knew it had no business being there. Azula grit her teeth, Mai and Ty Lee at her sides, one spinning a knife between her fingers and the other holding a face of grim determination that looked odd on her. They’d silently tracked their quarry through the forest for a few hours, looping around to avoid being spotted. Azula’s fingers itched to just scorch the forest down and smoke out the deserters, but she couldn’t firebend without immediately giving away her identity. So, instead, she sat in the low bush of the forest, stalking forward with her companions.

As they drew ever closer, Azula began to hear voices, she signalled Mai and Ty Lee to stay behind as she crept closer to hear what was being said. Though, she had yet to actually lay eyes on her targets.

“I’m telling you, I don’t know what Akira was thinking, keeping that thing in the middle of camp.” One man said, his voice tight with anxiety. “There’s no way we can hold it for long and that goes double for being able to sell it.”

“Relax, will you?” A woman replied, her tone light and airy. “We’re not going to sell it, remember? We take that to The Firelord and we’re bound to get a pardon, just got to take out a caravan or two more and we’ll have enough supplies to take it to Caldera.”

“And you really think it’s a…y’know?”

“Considering what it did to Miyori? Yeah, I really do.”

While the two deserters fell into silence, Azula filed their conversation for later consideration and crept forward. She spotted two silhouettes under a tree and looked back towards Mai and Ty Lee, signaling with her hands what she saw. The two girls reacted quickly, Mai moving forward with her arms positioned to throw a knife when necessary, while Ty Lee leapt up into a tree on a small burst of air. Azula for her part got low to the ground and practically crawled up to the pair. As she got closer, more details filled in. The pair were in leathers with light metal plating on critical vital points, definitely a recon unit. They carried quivers of arrows and bows as well as short blades for close quarters engagements. It was a standard kit, one she remembered well from her lessons.

Not taking any chances, once she closed the distance, Azula launched forward and planted her pommel directly into the woman’s stomach, just below the diaphragm. She let out a wheeze as the air was knocked out of her. At the same time, Ty Lee dropped on the man and pinned his neck in a leg lock while her fingers went to work on his pressure points. Mai capitalized on the opening Azula made by pinning the woman’s boots to the ground with a pair of knives. She tried to scream, but without much air in her lungs all that came out was a stuttering gasp. 

The man tried to grab Ty Lee and pry her off, but she just kept laying repeated elbow strikes into his face, disorienting him and keeping him grappled. Seeing that the airbender had her opponent handled, Azula quickly handled her own by shoulder checking her hard. The momentum, along with the inability to move her feet, led to the woman dropping to the ground and onto her back. She tried to stand back up, but Azula was on top of her in a moment. However, she’d miscalculated and the woman pulled a concealed dagger that tore across Azula’s sword arm, leaving a red gash. Azula cursed and drew back, allowing the woman to use her hips and flip Azula over onto the ground. The woman was preparing another strike when a hand gripped her chin and jerked her face up as a knife slid towards her neck.

“I would highly advise against that.” Mai said from behind. “Red is not your color.”

The woman seemed to weigh her options before sighing and dropping her knife. Mai kicked it away and Azula shoved the woman away to stand. The firebender quickly righted herself and pinned the woman with the point of her blade. Ty Lee dragged the limp man towards them and dropped him like a ragdoll she got bored of.

“Well,” Azula said as she brushed her clothes off. “This is the part where you tell us where the other ambushers are and where your camp is.” As she waited, she pulled a strip of cloth from her pocket and wrapped her still bleeding forearm.

“Why would I do that?” The woman scoffed. “You’ll just kill me anyways.”

“I am so glad you asked.” Azula said, keeping her tone bright. She kneeled down and traced a finger along the woman’s throat. “You see, I actually studied under The Minister of Information for a while. He was very in depth with his instruction. The things I could tell you about human anatomy would leave you boggled. So, I can either be told what I want now, or after you have six fingers left.”

The woman gulped, fear evident in her eyes. After she had revealed her co-conspirators' locations and her camp, Azula was all but prepared to slit her throat and be done with it, but Mai caught her wrist. Her face was as unreadable as smooth stone as she spoke. “She’s given us what we want, let’s just tie her up and give her to the caravan.” Azula was surprised to say the least, Mai had always been on the more ruthless side, it was always Ty Lee with the soft heart. “I know what you’ve been taught, but I don’t think I’m ready to take a life and I don’t think you are either.”

That wasn’t entirely true, Azula could remember a fire ferret, her father had told her to raise it when she was five. For a year she’d cared for it, trained it, loved it in the way only a naive child could. Then…then…

Hands stained red and black with blood and char, the smell of burnt fur, her vision watery, her throat raw with scratching sobs. Something at her feet, claw marks on her wrists from its struggle.

“This is loyalty, Azula. This is power.”

Then it had passed away from an ailment. That had given her an understanding about holding on to sentimental things, she had made a breakthrough in The Dutiful Flame around the same time, her fire had been blue ever since. Still, she was willing to give Mai that comfort, she would give a lot to her girls. “Fine, if you insist, but I won’t hold back in a fight.”

“I didn’t ask you to, if it’s between you or them, always choose yourself.” Mai replied sternly.

“Hey, guys!” Ty Lee said as she started working some knots around the still unconscious man. “If you’re done having a sad girl competition, maybe you could help with the hard part?”

When they returned with their captives in tow, Hideyo and Kinu were the first to greet them. Daiki, the big man who organized the people who guarded the cargo and people was not far behind.

“What did you find out?” Kinu asked, meanwhile, Hideyo glared at the two deserters like they were maggots that he’d found in his rice bowl.

Azula’s mind immediately shifted to the professional air of someone used to reporting progress. “They’re a squad of twelve. Six more are along this path with four at their camp. They plan to ambush you at the river bend not far from here. However, these two were lookouts that were also sent to hunt for food, they have the remainder of the arrows their group has. They planned to use the element of surprise to overwhelm your guard and loot your caravan.”

Kinu stroked his long beard and nodded along. He turned to Daiki and raised an eyebrow. “You can handle six?”

Daiki simply grunted and hefted his kanabo in answer, he was a man of very few words. Kinu nodded and looked over to Azula. “Anything else?”

“Yes, I’m going after their camp.” Azula stated simply. “I want to see if they know of any other bandits or deserters in the area so we can avoid them.” What she didn’t say was that she also wanted to know what these people apparently had that they thought was valuable enough to gain them a pardon from her father.

Kinu shook his head. “I think you’re a fool to go into a fight like that outnumbered, but I can’t rightly stop you.”

“They won’t be outnumbered.” Hideyo said, his expression like an oncoming storm. “I’ll go with them.”

“Absolutely not.” Azula said, making her voice brim with command.

Hideyo stiffened. “You took on two and got injured.” He looked pointedly at Azula’s arm, where the bloody cloth was. “You’re going into twice those numbers, Rin. With just Chie and Fumiko, you need backup.”

“Then I’ll ask Haru.”

Hideyo snorted. “Haru’s got good eyes, but she’s ash in a fight. I can watch your back, Rin. You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you and your friends”

Azula weighed her options and looked back at Mai and Ty Lee. Mai looked disinterested and just cleaned her bifocals, clearly uncaring about the conversation.

“He’s got a point.” Ty Lee said. “It’d be good to have someone to keep at least one of them off us.”

Azula weighed the options before coming to a decision. “Fine,” Hideyo perked up visibly, before Azula continued. “But I have conditions.”

“Name them.” Hideyo said.

“I need to know why you have such a vindictive streak for deserters and I need your promise that you can keep it under control. I don’t care if you kill them, but you need to be able to stay level.” Azula kept her eyes steady with his as she set the boundaries.

He blew out a long breath before nodding. “Alright, but do you mind if we talk on the way? Don’t feel like airing out my past to the whole caravan.”

Azula nodded and turned without waiting, knowing that Mai and Ty Lee would follow her. She needed to find a way to express what that meant to her, eventually. They cross back into the treeline and Hideyo takes a few minutes before his story leaves him.

“My mother raised me alone, dad got drafted and never made it back, pretty common story, I know.” His voice was thick with the emotions he was holding back. “For a long time, I hated the war, swore I’d desert the minute I had a chance. When some men came to our home and asked my mom to hide them from the military, she was hesitant at first. I asked her to, practically begged her to let them in. If they hated the army like I did, they must be good men, right?” He chuckled, but it was a hollow and bitter sound. “Stupid and naive. Once they were inside, they charged us. I managed to slip out a window and get away, but mom…she…” Hideyo swallowed and looked away. “She didn’t make it.” A fury entered his voice. “So I’m not going to let one of those bastards get away.”

Azula took it in and processed it. It wasn’t an uncommon tale, some of the caravan’s refugees had almost the exact same tale. Really, only one thing mattered. “What I need to know is whether you can keep control in a fight. I need you to watch our backs, not fly into a rage.”

Hideyo nodded. “It’s not my first time fighting their kind, I made a few mistakes before, but I learned.”

“Alright, we’ll be there in a few minutes, keep your eyes open.”

When they arrive, Azula frowns at the scene before her. The camp is small, four people milling about, keeping their eyes on the treeline. They’re giving one area of their camp a wide berth, however, a massive iron box on wheels that shook with impacts from whatever was inside. Whatever creature lay inside let loose an enraged screech that left Azula’s ears ringing and her blood thundering.

“It’s aura…” Ty Lee murmured, she sounded heartbroken. “It’s so scared.”

Mai placed a comforting hand on the airbender and Azula saw Ty Lee’s sorrow calcify into righteous anger. “We’re going to beat them.”

Hideyo looked as if he’d barely registered the box, his eyes were solely fixed on the deserters with such a hate that Azula thought he’d burn holes into their heads. Two were grouped up near the southern edge of the camp while one was cooking a stew. The final one was just whittling, but Azula marked him as the major threat immediately. He was wearing a dragonhawk insignia on his breastplate. That meant he was a corporal, their leader, a man that was lean in the way of a scout, muscle meant for endurance rather than power, at his side was a nonstandard dao instead of the usual short blade. Azula mulled it over, letting her plan coalesce.

“Okay, Chie, I need you to keep those two over there occupied, we can’t have them joining the fray until we’ve dealt with the others. Fumiko, you take Stewpot, he’s closest to the corporal and I need him pinned down. I’ll go after their leader, try to go for a decisive strike early. Hideyo, stay back and provide ranged support.” She cut the boy off as he opened his mouth to protest. “I need you there, you have the most range out of us and that means you're the best option to switch targets and aid who needs it most. Focus on Fumiko’s fight first, Chie is our most competent close quarters fighter so she should be able to hold her own long enough for you and Mai to finish up Stewpot and help with the other two. I can keep the corporal busy for that long.”

Hideyo looked upset, but nodded in acceptance. With the plan set, Azula wasted no time rushing forward. The corporal barely had enough time to draw his sword and block her first strike with her jian. The blow rang out like a bell and Azula leapt back as the man struck back out at her. He tilted his head in curiosity more than worry.

“Who are you, little girl?” He asked, his voice thin and raspy. “You look familiar.”

“Hmmm…you’ve experienced death before then?” Azula said, her tone mocking.

The corporal scoffed. “I like you, care to join me and my friends instead of throwing your life away here?”

At that moment, Azula heard the crash of blades and the impact of fists as her companions descended on the rest of the deserters. “No, thank you, I have my own.”

What followed was a blur of blade and flame. The corporal fought like a lesser version of Lu Ten, a pale imitation of a much better fighter. Still, Azula was a pale imitation of herself, with Hideyo around she couldn’t firebend without risking her identity. Even if she attempted to fuel her fire in a different way, changes to one’s inner fire like that took time and effort that she didn’t have in this fight. So, instead she played defensively, weaving around the corporal's fire and parrying his blade strikes to the best of her ability. She didn’t come out unscathed, the corporal managed several cuts and burns along her arms as Azula sacrificed pain for more time. It was a battle of inches and he was winning. She heard a scream of pain and fought the urge to check the progress of the battle. Distraction like that was a weakness she couldn’t afford. The world bled into a tunnel where only the fight she was currently in existed, memories of past battles that weren’t entirely her own guided her arms into more complex parries until finally, the man made an error and Azula was able to score a long gash along his sword arm.

The corporal backed up slightly. “Well, I suppose it’s time I actually start try-“

That was as far as the man got before a high speed Ty Lee flew forward and slammed her foot into the side of his knee. It popped out of place with a sickening tearing sound and he collapsed screaming. Azula was panting heavily, that fight maybe only lasted half a minute, but without her bending, Azula was severely outmatched, a weakness she would have to correct. The rest of his men laid on the ground frowning from their wounds, Azula was honestly shocked that none of them had arrows in their throats.

As if fate heard her thoughts and found irony the most entertaining form of comedy, Hideyo stalked out of the treeline, making a straight charge towards the corporal with fury in his eyes. He knocked an arrow and drew, holding it right at the man’s eye. Azula wouldn’t have intervened, what business was it of hers who died here? And yet, Hideyo’s hand trembled slightly on the string, his eyes were constellations of grief and pain and anger. Azula mentally cursed herself for what she was about to do, before she could second guess herself, her jian flashed out and severed Hideyo’s bowstring. His fury turned on her in an instant.

“Don’t tell me you want to let this monster live!” He snarled, Azula remained unphased, he was nothing compared to the master of fear that raised her.

“Frankly, I don’t care about him. However, the fights over and as much as I am ambivalent to his continued existence. I-“ Azula swallowed, there it was again, the words that failed to formulate properly and just became vapor in her throat. “I don’t believe you want to be a murderer. You still…you still look your age.” She didn’t know what exactly she meant by that, but Hideyo seemed to as he calmed down considerably and nodded to her. His demeanor seemed to soften and he shook his head like he was being ridiculous.

“Thanks, Rin and umm…Fumiko, if you maybe wanted to…I don’t know, talk sometime?”

Mai sighed like a great weight was lifted off her. “I’m flattered, Hideyo, but I am not looking for a relationship right now.”

“Cool, cool…” some of that naive boy peaked through as he rubbed his neck in embarrassment. “Does anyone want to see what the scary monster in the cage is?”

After looting the key from the corporal and tying up him and his men, Azula approached the metal box. She hesitantly slid the key in and turned, the door burst open and something out of myths and fables came charging out. It was at least four and half meters tall and fourteen long. Its beaked head was graceful and predatory like a hawk with eyes that held burning white irises. It had a broad back and torso that led to feathered wings that seemed to operate more like a possumbat’s in shape with three claws at the joint that pawed the ground. Its backside had haunches that were large and powerful. It moved more like a lionvulture than anything else and it was currently staring down Azula with a piercing gaze, its crimson feathers glinting in the light. It was terrifying, it was powerful, it was deadly sunfire incarnate, it was the most beautiful creature Azula had ever seen.

“Agni…” Mai whispered in awe. “It can’t be…”

Ty Lee whimpered. “Azula is that…”

“Agni’s sunburnt ass…” Hideyo cursed

“A Phoenix” They all said in unison.

One of its eyes had a scar, like something had tried to slash it out and failed. It looked panicked as well, like it was both trying to run but too afraid to. That was when Azula saw its right wing, the feathers were torn to shreds, mangled beyond flight.

“So that’s how they captured you.” Azula murmured as she looked at the scar on its eye, too large for a blade, but…maybe another of its kind. “You were hurt by your family.”

The phoenix seemed to tense like it understood her. Azula wracked her brain for all the myths she heard of phoenixes. They were reborn when they died, they were Agni’s children and…fire healed them. Hesitantly, not even bothering to care about Hideyo’s presence anymore, Azula pressed a trembling hand to the phoenix’s feathered chest. She called upon her chi and blue flame licked its feathers. The creature seemed to startle in surprise before it relaxed into the flame, its feathers started to take on the same hue as Azula’s flame as its wing began to mend. In that moment, she felt its chi reach out to her own and intertwine. Instantly, Azula understood it, the fear, the pain, the betrayal of another of her kind. It wasn’t like the Avatar spirit where memories and emotions flooded her, it was a sturdy presence in the back of her head. Silently, she promised it that she wouldn’t allow it to feel that pain any longer, it was a conviction that burned in her with Agni’s own heat. When the creature’s wing fully healed she, and she was a girl according to what Azula knew now, screeched happily and began to nuzzle her affectionately with her beak, its previously red feathers now a deep azure blue.

Azula stood and turned to see Mai and Ty Lee looking at her with shock while Hideyo looked ready to faint. “Everyone, say hello to Nozomi.” She said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

After Hideyo had mostly recovered, he had promised not to tell anyone what he saw. In his own words, “You have a giant flaming murder bird and that is the least scary thing about you. I don’t want to be on your bad side.”

Now, Azula, Mai and Ty Lee were shouldering their packs and very carefully climbing onto Nozomi.

“Just to double check.” Mai said. “You met this bird a few hours ago after it looked like it was debating having you for a midday snack.”

Azula huffed. “I will vouch that Nozomi is extremely refined.” The phoenix’s support of this statement was being beak-deep in a barrel of the deserter’s rations they’d taken.

“Right…” Mai said skeptically

“Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport, Mai. I can tell Nozomi’s a good bird! She and Azula are bound together now…or maybe they always were? It’s complicated.” Ty Lee said as she held on tight to the phoenix. “Welp! Off we go, right guys?”

“Yes.” Azula said as Nozomi prepped herself into a half pounce just from her intent. “To the Western Air Temple.”

They launched high into the sky, the air whistling past and Azula had to wonder when she started smiling. She looked down and saw the world below them like she could go anywhere, be anyone in that moment. An epiphany began to form, only the first kernel, but it was there with Agni’s light kissing her skin and wind tussling her hair.

Air is Freedom.

As she thought it, she felt the mythical creature underneath screech in agreement.

Chapter Text

The Western Air Temple’s layout was made by the most sadistic monk to ever exist. At least, that was what Azula decided when she saw it. Looking at it too hard gave her the strangest sense of vertigo, which combined so well with the strange sense of deja vu that came whenever she was looking at a place she had seen before in a past life. Nozomi, for her part, circled above as they surveyed the area and its upside down buildings. Azula could feel how exhausted the phoenix was though, healing a wound of that magnitude seemed to take a lot out of her, even with Azula’s more focused fire. Not to mention trying to keep Azula and her girls on the avian creature’s back without a saddle was proving difficult.

“Mai!” Azula shouted over the wind that was blowing past her. “What are we looking for?”

Mai peered over Nozomi’s wing while keeping as tight a grip on the phoenix’s back feathers as possible. “If the documents are right, the fire nation used a courtyard to land, it should be just about…there!” She pointed to an opening amongst the strange upside down buildings. It would just barely fit Nozomi and landing was going to be rough. Still, Azula leaned in close to the creature’s head and spoke as calmly as she could. “Nozomi, I know you’re tired, would you be so kind as to set down in that courtyard for us so you can get a nap while we get settled?”

Nozomi let out a soft trill of agreement and her wings beat furiously to slow her descent. Talons scored into stone and left heated trails that glowed slightly as they came to a sliding stop. Mai practically scrambled off while Ty Lee took the time to stroke Nozomi’s plumage and thank her before sliding off with practiced grace. Azula extricated herself and bowed respectfully.

“Thank you, Nozomi, I appreciate your help.” She said, her tone formal.

Nozomi’s response was to release a huff of air that sounded like a laugh and nuzzle Azula with her beak before crawling slightly away and curling up in the courtyard. Azula was already missing the feeling of the air on her skin. When she was up above on Nozomi’s back, she felt as if she was on the verge of a breakthrough, but something still blocked her from a full understanding.

“Yeah…” Mai said, eyeing the phoenix wearily. “Still not sure that thing won’t eat me.”

Ty Lee giggled. “But look at her! She’s so pretty and cute!” The acrobat went to pet more of Nozomi’s feathers when she suddenly stopped, her eyes fixed on the ground right in front of her. Her hands trembled as she crouched down and picked something up.

Azula drew closer and saw the string of wooden beads in her hands. Each one was intricately handcarved with swirling designs that seemed to blend from one bead to the next. There may have once been a medallion or something on the end point, but whatever was meant to be there had been burnt off by a stream of flame. Ty Lee stared at the object like it held the secrets of the universe within it. When her voice finally left her, it sounded hollow in a way that made Azula uncomfortable. “All this destruction and death for what? Azula says he was already dead. What was the point?”

That tone felt horrible to hear, Ty Lee was supposed to be bright and like the sun on a clear day, so warm that it hurt to stay within it for too long. Now, that light looked so overcast that Azula didn’t know how to act.

“I-“ She tried and nothing came out. She grit her teeth in frustration, it was as if her throat would not allow air to pass so that any words briefly resembling weakness would never go through her.

It was Mai that crouched down and placed a comforting hand on Ty Lee’s shoulder. “I’ve studied a lot of history and I can tell you that senseless violence is usually the tool of the violent to gain control. It’s never kind and more often than not, completely unnecessary. We can’t continuously mourn the ruining of the past, though, we can only strive for a better future.”

Ty Lee seemed to take some form of fortitude in that and straightened up, her shoulders tense but prepared. “Let’s go. You said there was a door you needed unlocked.”

Mai nodded. “The Western Air Temple was home to one of the few sects of non-pacifist airbender monks. They were called The Wind Guard, they trained to protect sacred places of the ancestors from intruders. However, when the Fire Nation came…they were too few, guardians, not an army. However, their corpses and weapons are what you find as an explanation in Fire Nation texts to prove that the air nomads had a standing army and were preparing for war.” Her voice was matter of fact until the last sentence, where it became somber. Azula supposed one could only research a people for so long before beginning to sympathize with them. Azula held no compunctions about her people’s actions anymore, it would be difficult to when memories of their wrongdoings slammed into her head repeatedly like a judge’s gavel. She just found it difficult to reconcile what she knew with what she had learned for most of her life. “However, what that all means, is that they had an armory here, one that Fire Nation soldiers couldn’t get into with the firepower they were able to transport in the air to here. One that I’m hoping has bending scrolls for you two.”

Azula groaned in aggravation as she looked at the impossibly annoying upside down architecture before her. “Please tell me that you have some idea where that armory is.”

Mai’s cheeks coloured and she pushed her bifocals up her nose in an attempt to disguise her face. “Let’s just say that if it didn’t hold immediate tactical advantage, they didn’t give very many details. Apparently, the interior proved difficult to navigate and impossible to map.”

“Great, beautiful even.” Azula sighed as she looked around with a cursory glance. Her skin itched with the need for distance, weeks on the road had left her with too much time around people and not enough solitude to mentally organize the events that had occurred. “You two set up camp around here, with Nozomi we won’t need a fire except to cook. I’ll go looking for this armory.”

She didn’t wait for an answer, she simply turned and headed into the mind bending corridors of the temple’s interior. She needed to clear her head, try and find whatever that brief connection to the air around her had been. Unfortunately, the temple’s designer had other plans. If the exterior had been vertigo inducing, the interior was maddening. Stairs were placed at angles where one would have to run along the wall to reach the next floor, hallways turned into bending spirals. With a few jets of flame, it was manageable, but it made the internal layout a fresh new torture to navigate.

“What am I even doing?” Azula muttered to herself. “I won’t improve in airbending by wandering around like some half-cocked hunting dragonhawk.”

“Does it not get tiring to spend your life constantly trying to make a blade sharper?”

Azula whirled around, as a voice echoed through the halls, her hands alight in an instant. “Might as well show yourself, I doubt you want to become roasted.”

“You are always so angry. Is that really how you want to be?”

“What would you know?” She shouted, wisps of blue flame curling out of her mouth. The voice was low and gruff, it sounded like someone who had been breathing in ash and coal their entire life.

“Plenty, I’ve seen your whole life, Azula.”

“What are you, some sort of spirit?” Azula growled as she kept her eyes scanning the strange hallways. That was when they began to twist and warp. They were already mind bending, but in that moment, they shifted like soft clay under the hands of some unseen worker.

“I am The Master of Forges, Little Blade. I see how you have been crafted, I see every edge that has been sharpened to a razor, I see where the faults in your construction lie. You have stepped into where I have made my home here and you have trespassed. I will give you the courtesy of retreat, just once.”

Azula’s pride bristled, she did not retreat, she was not made for it. “Counter offer, you can kindly vacate this temple, it’s no more yours than mine.”

The hallway stretched endlessly forward, darkness beginning to encroach on the world around Azula. She’d never liked the dark, didn’t like its encroaching closeness, didn’t like how it suffocated her. As it closed in, she was left with only the flames in her hands as light. Only for those two to be snuffed out. “Let us examine your forging more closely, yes?” In the dark, a hammer strike rang out like a temple bell.

Azula stood with her back straight, her eyes forward. It was what she needed to look like, sturdy and resolute. Like Father had told her. She watched from the balcony as the soldiers dragged the two men to the stage. They were dressed in ragged robes, bruised and bloody. They looked horribly pathetic.

“These men…” Her father spoke with a curling lip. “It’s the only proper punishment for them to receive.”

“What crime did they commit, Father?” Azula asked, her voice slowed for proper elocution, it was very important that she spoke properly. 

“Disloyalty.” He answered, his voice cold like a grave. “The Office Of Public Morality found that they had discussed a distaste for our great conquest. It would have developed into sedition soon enough. Adding on their…degeneracy with each other and it only got worse.”

“Their degeneracy, Father?”

“They bedded each other…frequently.”  His voice was filled with disgust. “Such a waste”

Azula looked down at the men from above, they were young, maybe in their early twenties or late teens. She hadn’t known until that moment that thought could be traitorous all on its own. As the executioner’s blade rose, Azula did not turn away, Father had brought her here to show her something and she would attend the lesson. The blade swung down and the first man’s head lolled off, a spray of arterial blood painting the wood of the platform. The second one began to thrash and sob like a wild animal as he looked at the other's corpse. Azula found her chest aching at the sight for a moment and wondered if that was what love was supposed to look like, something feral and unhinged that bit and latched on with tearing claws. She knew then that she should never love another. She was five years old.

Azula rocketed back to the present, groaning as her head felt like it had been compressed. It was only her experience with the memories of The Avatars that she stayed upright. At least, she was relatively certain she was upright, the rules of the universe seemed subjective in the liminal darkness, like she could take a step and the very concept of where “down” was in relation to her would shift.

“The first flaw.” The supposed Master of Forges stated, voice echoing ethereally around her. “It is a poor craftsman that forces the metal into a shape it is not meant for.”

“W-why are you doing this?” Azula screamed in frustration. “What do you gain from this?”

“My purpose is to forge.” It stated simply. “There is no greater insult to me than shoddy craftsmanship. We continue, I cannot help your reforging if I do not study the flaws extensively.”

“My what?” Azula questioned, but it was already too late,another hammer strike and the darkness took her again.

Azula was trying very hard not to cry, it was still difficult but getting better. She made a mistake in training again and Father had punished her. She deserved it, but it still hurt. Her back burned every time she tried to bend down or stand. She craved the ghost of a half remembered sensation, one she must have felt long ago. Head buried into the crook of something warm, her hands clutching cloth desperately. What a strange feeling, to know exactly what you crave, but have no reference for it. Mother enters the room and Azula’s face easily slips into a mask of neutrality. It’s much simpler to do when someone can see her.

“Azula, are you alright?” Mother asks as she peeks her head in. “You haven’t been out of your room all day.”

A strange anger began to build in her, why was Mother here now? Only when people were starting to notice she’d been gone. So, Azula did what she knew best when she felt angry, she wielded it like she was wielded by her father. “I’m fine, why don’t you go spend more time coddling ZuZu, he seems to be the one who’s a crybaby.”

“Azula!” Her mother shouted, comfort quickly turning to reprimand. “That is not nice!”

Azula snorted and turned away from Mother without another word.

A heavy sigh and a sentence mumbled at a volume that she wasn’t supposed to hear, but did anyway. “There’s something wrong with that girl.”

Azula wretched on the ground, or what she thought was the ground as her mind spun through darkness. “E-enough…stop this…”

“The second flaw,” The spirit continued without acknowledging her plea, maybe it was a sign of delirium, but Azula thought she could hear a bellows heating a forge now. Was that heat starting to caress her face? “A blade forged without tempering, nothing to strengthen it against blows or protect it from the slow chipping of existence.”

“I was made strong! Crafted to be perfect!” Azula protested, vitriol building inside her, the only flaw was her birth, were these damnable spirits latched onto her. “I’m the one that was wrong!” Yet, her voice sounded like pleading, even to her ears.

“It is a poor craftsman who finds fault in the material rather than their own work.” The Master of Forges responded. “This next flaw is deep, you have hidden it well, but we must see it.”

“I don’t want-“ Another ringing strike of the hammer and Azula was blasted back into the past once more.

She stared at the fire ferret in her hands. She didn’t understand why it was becoming so hard not to cry. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t love it. She knew that love was weakness, a chink in the armor that would only serve to leave her exposed. Yet, she had named it, had cared for it, had played with it for a year. Her little Okibi, always so excitable, always so full of energy and life. Now dead, at her feet, by her hands. She didn’t even realize it was happening at first, she could vaguely recall Father’s voice telling her to do something. Her hands had moved on instinct and now they were coated in blood and scratches and soot. She had killed Okibi and the worst part was that some part of her felt a sick sense of pride. Maybe, maybe this was enough? Maybe this would absolve her of the traitorous existence she harbored? She looked up at her father with fragile hope and his expression shattered it in a single breath. He held no approval or reprimand, he only held expectation in his countenance.

“This is loyalty, This is power.” He told her, a hand like an iron weight on her shoulder. “It is exactly what I expect of you.”

In that moment, Azula understood something no other person would grasp. She had not spent a single moment of her life free and she most likely, never would. Father would continue to push her and mold her into what he desired and she would let him, because as much as his hand was a weight, it was the warmest touch she’d known.

Azula came back to sweltering heat, the kind where breathing only exacerbated the issue. For a moment, she couldn’t tell if she was in reality once more, or a memory of her mastery test. She felt sick, she hadn’t wanted to remember that, now it stood in her memory like an errant, jagged line in a sand garden.

“The third flaw, a blade can be sharpened too much, thinning it, weakening it to knicks and pressure.”

“That’s…enough…” Azula panted as she stood, outrage was building inside her, she had too much and now…now they were rising within her.

“I must be certain that-“

“I SAID ENOUGH!” The words ripped free from Azula’s throat like a violent creature, echoing with the command of hundreds of lives. The rage, the power, it flooded through the darkness and swept it away like ash on the wind. Revealed to her was the ghostly apparition of a masculine figure easily ten feet tall and bulging with muscles, its skin was dull iron and its eyes were burning embers. In its mouth were fanged tusks of pure glinting silver. It worked a forge that was long dead, the heat only an illusion, the hammer dull and forgotten. “I AM NOT A BLADE!”

A grin of sharp metal greeted her. “Now you understand.”

The reaction startled Azula, her rage flickered for the briefest moment. That was what the spirit capitalized on, but not in the way she expected. It pulled out a bundle from under its forge and unwrapped it, revealing rice balls with vegetables mixed in.

“Offerings,” it explained. “the last I received, I would share them, but unless you plan to crossover, Avatar. You will find such things less than palatable.”

The rage seemed to fully diffuse into confusion. “What is this?”

“Hm?” The spirit said, half a rice ball already in its serrated mouth. “Ah, I had to correct you on something. You wrongly believed yourself to be a blade.”

“I believe I just quite accurately stated my rejection of that concept.” Azula seethed.

“Yet, look at how you think of yourself, you were not raised, you were crafted, molded, honed. All your words, not mine.” The Master of The Forge continued to eat before sighing and setting a large metal hand on the forge. “One of my greatest friends manned this forge, he and I would talk and laugh and do all the things a friend should do. Then, he died, old age, I think, it tends to be for many of you mortals. Regardless, he had a saying, “The man who treats himself as a weapon, should not be surprised when he is wielded like one.”

Azula crossed her arms. “Your point, spirit, my time is not as boundless as yours and I find myself quickly remembering my distaste for you.”

The spirit chuckled, it was a sound like knives gently scraping against each other. “You have spent far too long being wielded by others, Avatar. Even now, you run out of fear instilled by another. It is time to stop acting like a blade and choose rather than let the choice be made.” It turned to her with mirthful eyes. “You have struggled with air because it is the element of freedom and you have never truly allowed yourself to be free, to be something beyond the blade your father tried to forge.”

“And what would you suggest I do, then? Follow the path of other Avatars? End up another parasite on someone else’s soul?”

The spirit shrugged. “As I said, you need to make that choice. I think I shall leave this place, however, I need a change of scenery.” It stood and began to fade. “Thank you for giving me one last project and…I’m sorry for being rough with you. You mortals tend to be very hardheaded.”

Azula sneered at the spirit but said no more as it faded into nothingness. In its place were the skeletal remains of a long dead monk, his hand still curled around a hammer. She chose to simply leave the body, it seemed wrong to remove the body from its place among the forge and bellows. Instead, she closed her eyes and began to meditate, to focus on those horrid memories. Instead of focusing on them, fixating on what they were, she examined them, acknowledged them and let them pass her by. She considered what she wanted, without considering her fear, without anything but the core of herself. What she found was telling, the kernel of truth she buried deep inside and only then was willing to pull out and hold up.

“I’m tired of doing things because I’m afraid, I want to live for more than survival.” Those words caused something to click inside Azula, suddenly the air felt more alive against her skin and down the hall. Down the hall? Oh, that was how airbenders were meant to find their way through. The airflow, it moved oddly and seemed to guide to different areas while completely ignoring dead ends and roundabouts. Azula couldn’t help the smile that lifted up from her mouth, she had finally cracked it, the freedom, the air, it all was there for her. All she had to do was listen, feel and it was right there, waiting for her touch and command.

When she left the temple, wind seemed to drape her like a cloak. She looked up to see the sun low in the sky, she had been there much longer than she had thought. Ty Lee shot up from the place she’d been sitting, watching the temple with intense focus. At the same time several hundred pounds of avian might came barreling towards Azula on four claws to pin her to the ground and worriedly nuzzle against her.

“Azula, what happened? You were gone for hours!” She turned back towards their one tent. “Mai! She’s back!”

Azula sighed and dropped the load in her arm, once she’d understood the mechanism, the door to the armory had proven easy enough. Unfortunately, time had taken its toll and most of the weapons and scrolls were long since decayed. Still, a single weapon had survived, a Pu Dao that was well maintained and tucked away, beads and tassles decorating the haft. Yet, that was not the treasure that Azula was happiest about, three air bending scrolls had managed to hold on as well.

A tired smirk climbed her face as Mai stepped out, a questioning look on her face. “I found the armory and a bit of perspective. I-“ The words tried to fight her as always, but this time, she gripped them and dragged them out, even though it hurt, even though it weakened her. “I want you to know how thankful I am to have you both as friends. I know coming with me couldn’t have been easy, so, thank you, both of you.”

Nozomi kept nudging her, so she petted the phoenix along her beak and smiled. “I’m alright, I promise” She murmured softly, the phoenix seemed to accept her word and let Azula up, but stayed close, warmth radiating from her body.

Mai blinked and looked at Azula like she’d grown a second head. “That must have been a hell of a perspective, but like I said, I was going to leave at some point anyway. Having the Avatar personally concerned about my safety is a bonus. Which means you better not take all the responsibility for this, I made my choice.”

Ty Lee, true to form, had a much less reserved reaction. The acrobat crashed into Azula and wrapped her arms around her. At first, Azula started to panic, was this an attack? Yet, as it dragged on, she realized that Ty Lee was hugging her. She felt her body relax into the touch, it felt warm, nice even. She swallowed as the feeling of another person got to be too much and stepped away. “There’s one more thing, I don’t think I want to hide out here permanently anymore. I…I don’t know how, but I want to stop running eventually. I want to be able to make the choices I desire without fear. This will most likely mean truly becoming traitors to the Fire Nation, are you both prepared for that?”

Mai rolled her eyes. “About time you got with the program, even the sanitized history from Fire Nation records was enough to make me want to do something.”

Ty Lee bent down and picked up the Pu Dao, she straightened up and slammed the butt of the weapon against the ground. “I won’t get to know these people, they took that from me.” She whispered, her voice uncharacteristically somber. “I won’t know half of my own blood because of them. So, yeah, I don’t think I care about loyalty to them anymore.”

“Very well.” Azula said, regaining her composure fully. “Then, we train, we work to get stronger and then, I suppose the Avatar will rise once more.”

—————————————————————————

Her hands ached from trying to pull on the ropes, wrists scabbed from the friction, but they had finally loosened enough. She hadn’t stopped fighting, she would never stop fighting. Sneaking onto her father’s ship with her brother had been a poor idea, she was willing to admit that. Her own stupidity wasn’t going to stop her from freeing them, though. She breathed out and her breath steamed in the cold of the high mountains, her guards barely noticing, they had long since written her off as little more than a potential sack of coins. She glanced back at her brother and he nodded, he was ready. She watched her breath condense against the metal of their cage and sent the droplets to join the rest she’d managed to collect into the palm of her hand. She was still a novice, she wouldn’t be able to fight with such a small amount of water, but she could move it into the lock and freeze it when the guards weren’t looking. It was all a matter of time.

Chapter Text

She had bitten through her lip, if the coppery tang that hit her tongue and coated the back of her throat was any indication. Her legs ached and screamed as she collapsed again onto the canyon’s floor, huffing for air. How long had they been running from the men chasing them?  She tilted her head up towards the full moon, feeling the pull of the spirits, trying to collect herself. It had to have been a month at this point, the longest stint of freedom they had was the week before yesterday. A full week with no one chasing them, they thought they’d finally been clear. Then, her brother had taken an arrow in his thigh. She’d had to carry him through these mountains and that had slowed them down significantly, not to mention left her exhausted. 

She moved to grab him again and lift with her tired arms, but his hand grasped her wrist tightly, his face tightened as he worked through the pain of the arrow shaft still embedded in his leg. They had seen enough hunting accidents in their tribe to know you didn’t remove the arrow until you were ready to work on it.

“You…you gotta leave me.” He said, his tone serious and his eyes heavy. She knew he blamed himself for how they ended up here. It was his idea to sneak up on their dad’s ship amongst the supplies so that they could try and help him.

“Not…an option” she grunted out in physical exertion as she tried to lift him again. It was her fault, after all. She was the one who had tried to waterbend at those pirates, when they had seen that, it was like their eyes had become orbs of greed. They had taken her and when her brother tried to fight back, they’d taken him too and threatened her with his life to insure compliance. His missing eye had been the price she’d needed to pay for disobedience. Every time she looked at his face now, half wrapped in cloth, she was reminded of her failure. “We’re both getting out of here…we’re both surviving.”

He shook his head and pulled out his boomerang, one of the only things he’d manage to escape with when they ran, that and her mother’s necklace. “Look, I might be able to buy you some time, maybe take out two or three of these guys,actually, probably just one or two, my depth perception is not what it used to be.”

“No! I can’t lose you too! C’mon, we can-“

“I’m supposed to protect you!” He shouted, cutting her off as he looked up at her with determination in his one remaining eye. “Let me do my job and go…please.”

She could feel the sobs climbing higher, like she was drowning in her own lungs. “I…I can’t…”

An arrow drilled into the ground and her heart sank, they’d found them. A squad of seven men with gleefully sadistic expressions sauntered from the bend in the path. Each of them held weapons that looked more suited to maiming than killing.

“Raindrop!” Their captain called out, a vile man with the face of a particularly thin rat. She hated when he called her that. “It’s been a merry chase, fox and rabbit, but I think we can agree this is where it ends.”

Instead of answering immediately, she scanned around while her brother struggled to his feet, boomerang gripped by white knuckles. They were on the side of a canyon with only two ways to escape, forward and down. Forward meant certain capture, the pathway was narrow and had no cover, the next bend was a full fifty meter sprint that neither of them could make. Down was a series of jagged rocks that led to what one could generously call a river down below. Maybe they could hit the water, but she remembered when Old Man Daku slipped off an ice shelf into the water, it broke his fall, but made sure to do the same to all his ribs.

“Now, Raindrop, we can make this easy.” The captain continued his voice dripping with false mercy. “A month chasing you is impressive, I’ll give you that. For exceeding my expectations, I promise I’ll only take one of your brother’s hands, hm?”

She looked back at her brother, he was scared, he hid it well in fury and outrage, but you could only spend your whole life looking at someone’s face and believe the lies they tell themselves for so long. She sighed and raised her hands, a pitiful disc of water formed in her hand, the best she could manage. Still, if she was going to die there, it would be as a Tui and La damned waterbender. She froze it, one of the few tricks she’d learned, and launched it at the captain. He dodged easily, though the edge of the thin ice caught his cheek and a small well of blood rose from a scratch.

The man grimaced and sighed like he was disappointed. “I guess I’ll be taking an arm too.”

Her brother stumbled forward and used the canyon wall as a crutch, prepared to fight and stand beside her as the men closed in, when a sound reached everyone's ears that seemed to make the stone itself still. A low and haunting tone started to whistle through the scant few trees around. It started subtle, but quickly built up and up and up in volume and pitch in cascading rises and falls in tone. No one moved, it suddenly felt like they’d trespassed on a spirits domain. When a woman suddenly seemed to fly up from the canyon’s side, the waterbender was sure they had. The girl was probably around her age, sixteen, and she was beautiful. The bottom half of her face was obscured by a wooden half-mask, but her eyes looked like molten gold or miniature suns. At her hip was a sheathed blade whose sheath looked like it was made of captured lightning on a night sky. She was dressed like a fighter, clothes that weren’t baggy, but not overly tight either and all in dark reds and blacks. Yet, the loose nature of her clothes did little to hide how she moved, even standing, she didn’t look like she was waiting, she looked like she was prowling.

The woman leveled an almost bored stare at the captain and the moment she spoke, the haunting melody stopped. “Leave this place, now. This is the only warning you will receive.” She sounded like her every word was a matter of fact statement, not bored as she had originally guessed. No, she sounded disappointed, as if she had just been in the middle of something far more important and was taking time away from it to deal with the situation.

The captain and his men laughed heartily at that. “Girl, you best step aside, that’s my merchandise you’re in the way of.”

Rage boiled over and she spat. “I am a person you spirits damned disgusting man!”

Instead of answering him directly, the golden-eyed woman looked up at the sky like she was hoping for strength from her ancestors. “You heard them, let’s just deal with this refuse and be done with it.”

Shadows descended from the top of the canyon and landed with perfect grace from a three meter drop. A landing that ended with one man’s head meeting the ground by the butt of a spear crashing into it from behind. Another turned to swipe at one of the two new figures but they ducked under and pinned his hand to the wall of the canyon with a knife before several quick punches to his face knocked him unconscious. Meanwhile, the golden eyed woman moved as quick as the lightning on her scabbard, pulling the whole sword free from her waist. She slammed the pommel into the gut of one of the men, turning at the waist to force him off the path’s edge. He fell back and barely managed to grip the edge to prevent himself from tumbling to his death.

The waterbender shivered, in the span of five seconds the fight had gone from five on one to three on three. The rest paused, eyeing each other warily, like two wolf packs over a penguinseal corpse in the dark months. Now that they weren’t moving, she could make out more of the features of the other two, both had the same half-masks, but one was a lot thinner and taller, her hair in black tresses that seemed meticulously maintained, the most impressive part was that she wore a pair of bifocals that hadn’t fallen off throughout the skirmish. The other was in the middle of the height and built lean. She was dressed in light and billowing clothes, she would have seemed friendly and cute if not for the spear in her hand. 

All three men surged forward to attack the golden eyed woman, blades out to cage her in before the other two could close the distance. She drew her blade and its steel shimmered like heat on the air, with a single twitch of her wrist, two blades were parried off course and another was dodged. Her blade lashed out like a scorpion’s tail and skewered one of the men in the thigh. He went down hard, but took the woman’s blade with him. Just as the last of the captain’s men was about to catch the woman out and score a gash along her back, a boomerang caught him in the back of the head and whirled back into the hand of the waterbender’s brother. He grinned, gripping his leg as he finally lost strength in it. The captain barreled down on the woman and she slid past him with ease, the waterbender looked at the two other women, but they were standing off to the side, looking relaxed as their companion engaged him. He struck out with his saber in a wide arc, only for it to be knocked away with a palm strike on the flat of the blade. Yet, she didn’t see the small dagger he had palmed from behind his waist. By all metrics, it should have slammed into the woman’s side and left her bleeding out on the floor. Instead, all the waterbender saw was a flash of blue light and suddenly the captain was holding a charred hand as he fell to his knees.

“Ashbringer…” she whispered, fear clenching in her heart as memories of her mother’s stricken face assaulted her. She looked to her brother, but his eye had closed and his breathing had slowed. He was unconscious and she was frozen in fear as the golden eyed woman dragged the captain forward and deposited him at her feet.

“What’s your name, waterbender?” She asked, her tone was sharp and commanding in a way that made spines straightened, it was clear this woman was used to being obeyed.

“K-Katara, my name is Katara.” She swallowed hard, trying to keep her hands from shaking.

The woman cast a cool gaze on Katara before kicking the pirate captain in the side. He groaned softly, pain clearly winning over cognition. “This man was your assailant, so his life is your decision.”

Katara stared at him, he had taken her brother’s eye, he had chased them to the ends of the earth. She wanted to end him, wanted to hurt him, wanted him to feel all her pain returned upon him. A dark pit settled in her heart and something called on her to feed it. Something thrummed at her fingertips, like threads that were almost close to being plucked. She could practically hear his heart thumping as she stared at him and in his eyes she saw true fear.

“Let him go.” Katara said, turning away from the man. She didn’t want to see him die, he hadn’t earned the right to be the line she crossed.

The woman shrugged noncommittally and knocked him out with a boot strike to the head. Katara looked up at her and those burning eyes.

“So,” she asked. “What are you going to do to us?”

The woman didn’t answer directly, she looked over her shoulder at the other two women, the one with the spear was happily looting the men’s pockets. Meanwhile, the other was crouched over her brother, looking him over.

“Hey!” Katara yelled, finding enough of her energy to stand and stumble forward. The golden eyed woman didn’t even bother trying to stop her. “What are you doing to Sokka?”

She turned her gaze from her brother and answered in monotone, her voice somehow both calming and serious. “I’m checking his wounds, that leg looks pretty bad. He could lose it if we don’t act fast.”

The spear wielder shot up towards the golden eyed woman and bounced in place. “Look, I know what you’re gonna say, but if we just leave him here, he’s gonna die. Plus, if we leave her here, he’ll freak out and probably attack us. Plus, plus…” The girl trailed off as she leaned in and whispered something in the other woman’s ear.

The woman’s hands drummed along her sword’s hilt and seemed to think for a moment before releasing a huff of air and turning away. “Fine, Nozomi is coming.”

The spear wielder cheered and hugged the woman, who seemed less than thrilled. She flounced over to Katara and held out her hand. “Hi! I’m Ty Lee, the one by your brother is Mai and Miss Grumpypants is-“

“Rin.” The golden eyed woman said, cutting off her companion. “You can call me Rin. Mai, can you carry the guy?”

The woman by her brother, Mai, hummed. “Might need a little bit of help, Ty Lee?”

Seemingly completely forgetting the proffered handshake, Ty Lee slipped away towards Mai and Sokka’s unconscious form. Katara wasn’t certain how the two of them planned to lift an eighteen year old man and carry him more than a few feet when her question was answered by a screech that shook the walls of the canyon. 

Katara’s head craned up in fear as she saw a creature from legend blazing blue across the sky. “Tui and La…” she whispered as blazing talons arrested the giant creature's momentum. It was massive and terrifying to behold. “What is that?”

“The most spoiled and overgrown chickenlizard in existence.” Mai mumbled as she hefted Sokka with Ty Lee’s aid. Meanwhile, Rin softly murmured to the creature while rubbing its beak and petting its chest down.

“Her name is Nozomi and she’s your ride.” Rin said plainly.

Katara looked up to see a saddle-like harness across the avian things back. For a moment, she briefly reconsidered the dive into the river below.

—————————————————————————

Azula was not having a good day. She had wanted to simply go hunting with Nozomi, but of course, Ty Lee had to have spotted those pirates. They were far from the coast and clearly tailing someone or something, which meant that they were going to get involved. Since Ty Lee had apparently developed a savior complex in the past month or so. She had landed and found the water tribe girl and her brother. The brother was currently being worked on by Mai in her tent, while Azula was trying to see if the waterbender could look at her without immediately flinching.

She had eventually given up on that endeavor and simply sat across the campfire from the girl. The fire wasn’t usually something she had reason to make, but Ty Lee suggested that their guests might not be comfortable huddling up with Nozomi. Which was patently ridiculous, Nozomi was beautiful and regal, even if she was beak deep in a sabermoose, which she was at that moment.

Azula studied the girl across the fire, her brown tresses that fell onto chestnut skin. Her bright blue eyes reminded Azula of the ocean right as the sun hit it off the coast of Caldera. She studied her hands as she wrung them close, calloused in the way that someone who had made tools would be. Not a hunter of any kind like her brother, but she had skills in crafting, perhaps. Of course, that wasn’t why Azula brought her here, as Ty Lee pointed out, she’d need to learn waterbending eventually. Though, she had taken to airbending quite well after her breakthrough, even if she couldn’t make heads or tails of some of the things that Ty Lee was starting to experiment with. Still, she could feel how quickly the air responded to her now, she was able to meditate easier, breathe more freely. If she were following the path of an air nomad, she would have already had her tattoos, though she wondered if her “wind blade” would have been approved of.

That wasn’t important, now, though. What was important was getting the waterbender to not look at her like she thought Azula was going to kill her at any moment. She despised this part of meeting new people, Mai and Ty Lee knew her since she was a child and everyone else she’d met was a viper looking to exploit her, so she had never been the best at introducing herself.

“So…” Azula started. “Why did those pirates want you and your brother?”

The girl, Katara, that was her name, grimaced. “How many waterbenders do you know that live outside of Lusa’s wall?”

Azula pushed back the pressure of a building memory at the name and shook her head. “So, nothing interesting, just run of the mill slavers.”

The girl scoffed. “Sorry our suffering wasn’t entertaining enough for you.”

That boiled something in Azula’s blood. “You know, I might be new to this, but I think that saving someone’s life usually ends with being thanked for the action.”

Katara sighed and looked away. “Thank you, now what do you want? Ashbringers don’t do anything out of pure kindness.”

It took a few seconds for the mental puzzle piece to click, but once it did, Azula understood. There were only two places that used that term and this girl did not look like a citizen of the Earth Kingdom. “You’re from the South, then?”

“Yes, so you can understand why I’m a little worried about accepting help from one of your kind when you won’t even show your face!” Katara bit back, her glare fierce.

Azula schooled herself into indifference, leave it to the daughter to pay for the sins of the grandfather. Azulon had theorized that if every airbender was dead, The Avatar would just be born as another waterbender instead, so he had taken proactive measures to try and ensure he only had one location to hunt in. “If I took off my mask, would that in any way truly ease your suspicion?”

Katara seemed to deflate. “No, but your friends did, so I thought…”

“My friends have a lot less they need to protect than me.” Azula replied as Mai’s head poked out.

“Hey, I’m going to need some fire in here.” She said, glancing at Katara before returning her gaze to Azula. “That eye needs to go, it’s infected and that means I need to cauterize the flesh it was touching to be safe.”

“Are you sure?” Azula whispered as she closed in.

“I’m relying on surgery and triage books that were out of date a decade ago.” Mai whispered. “I’m doing the best I can.”

Azula simply nodded and headed into the tent. The boy, Sokka’s leg, wound had already had the arrow extracted and been cleaned and bandaged. The mess that was his eye had been exposed and Azula forced herself not to think about the details of it. Instead, she simply began heating the knife and iron rod she was handed with a simple blade of flame.

“I take it you’re crashing and burning with the new girl?” Mai asked as she washed the boy’s face clean of blood.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Azula snapped, no matter how true it was.

“Because you’re you and small talk is your worst enemy.” Mai replied.

Azula didn’t dignify that with a response. Instead she carefully set the implements down and turned to leave. “I take it that he’s going to start screaming soon?” She didn’t want to be there, in a room of screams and burning eyes.

“Probably, want to warn your new friend?” Mai said as she picked up the heated knife’s handle.

“Fine.” Azula replied and quickly left to return to Katara.

The girl shot up, her face a storm of worry. “Is my brother okay?” How odd, was that what a sibling's concern was meant to look like?

“He’ll be fine, but the next part is unpleasant. You might hear him screaming.” She tried to keep her voice neutral, but the irony of “may” in that sentence made it wobble slightly. She knew that Sokka would scream, Zuko had.

For the first time of the night, Katara seemed to show concern towards Azula. She reached out, but Azula moved forward. “You should get some rest, it’s late, we’ll figure out where to drop you and your brother off in the morning if you want.”

With that, she left the water tribe girl and went to Nozomi. Normally, she would sleep in her tent, but tonight Azula craved the comfort of her phoenix’s warmth and the shelter of her wing.

Azula didn’t sleep well, she rarely did without physically exhausting herself. Despite her best efforts, all the hobbies she’d tried so far had proven lackluster. Her mind and body were trained for battle and only sparring and training had done enough to wear her out. So, as the first beginnings of dawn crested up into the temple, Azula climbed to the upper level where they had made their training grounds. There, she stood in the silence and felt the air, felt the movements and moved with them. Air wasn’t actually that different from fire, all things considered. Fire was like a soldier that required constant discipline or it would run wild. It was one that had to be watched by its commander and kept under tight control. Air was like a scout, it could be sent forward and only worked when you trusted it to do its job. Too much control and it would simply disperse under one’s grip, too little and it would be too scattered to be effective.

Azula worked through her forms with closed eyes, her hands taking to the quick and precise movements with practiced ease. Wind and air whipped around her invisibly as she worked, like a dance for one. Her mind went to the water tribe girl and that look in her eyes, the distrust and fear. Didn’t she deserve something else, hadn’t her existence already paid for the transgressions of her family? Had she not been punished enough?

What a stupid idea, she stopped her training to laugh at herself. There would never be enough punishment and she’d deserve every bit of it. Yet, she had to believe she was choosing something else, a path forward, as unclear as it was. Every step that Azula took down the path of becoming The Avatar felt like a deep betrayal of all she was meant to be. As if she was spitting on her nation’s glory and grinding the flag into the dirt with her heel. Katara was a possible step in that path, if she could be convinced to join. There was a moment where she thought it would be quite simple, when Katara was staring down at the man who’d imprisoned her. There was a darkness in those eyes that seemed to want to pull Azula in, it was intriguing to say the least.

“Get it together.” Azula chided herself as she steadied her stance. “She’s a means to an end, not some servant girl for you to stare at.”

Azula had been aware of her proclivities for a long time, one could only live in a palace full of beautiful women for so long before it became obvious. She had never acted on it, she was meant to be perfect, after all. So, she’d done the same thing to her desire as she had done with her status of The Avatar, buried it deep. Unfortunately, with one secret always came more and this one had lodged itself free and made it known to Azula once more. She had managed so far, but something about Katara made that little bit of truth brighter and that sickened Azula.

She finished her exercises and moved to wipe down with a cloth when she heard the sound of someone struggling to climb up the steep carved stone on the side of the ledge. She peered down to see the waterbender clinging onto an abutment for dear life.

“What are you doing?” Azula drawled, raising an eyebrow.

“Climbing, obviously.” Katara replied through grit teeth.

“I see that…why?”

“Couldn’t sleep, heard noises up here, decided to check it out.” Her words came out in heaving breaths of exertion.

“So your genius plan was to…simply climb with no equipment and half dead from your trek? Are you trying to undo all the work I put into keeping you alive?” Azula teased, a slight chuckle growing in her chest.

Katara rolled her eyes and reached up with a single hand. “Well, do you mind putting in a little extra work?”

Azula benevolently took the waterbender’s hand and hoisted her up onto the platform with only a little exertion. However, due to the overbalance, they both ended up falling to the ground next to each other. 

“I will admit to my execution of that being less than graceful.” Azula said wryly.

“Gee, you think?” Katara said with a giggle before her face turned more serious. “I…I wanted to apologize for earlier. You and your friends have only been helpful and I reacted poorly to you being a firebender.”

Azula shrugged. “It isn’t the first time people assumed things because of who I was or what I could do, I can guarantee you won’t be the last.”

Katara gripped her hand, it was warm and Azula had to hold back a small gasp at the sudden contact. “Still, I’m sorry, Rin. If you guys need any help, just let me know.”

Azula swallowed and nodded. “Thank you, Katara. I…” what was she thinking? Was she really about to say this? “My name’s…not Rin. I don’t think telling you my real name would be smart right now, but if you’re traveling with us, it’s probably best to get that out of the way before it gets revealed in some needlessly dramatic fashion.”

Katara nodded. “Fair enough. So, what now? Are we friends?”

“Allies, at the least. We get you to where you want to go and decide from there, sound fair?”

Katara smiled like a weight had been released. “Yeah…thank you again.”

Azula felt something spark inside her at that smile, she smothered it fast.