Chapter Text
Not the Bostons WAGS
Mar 14, 2015 / 15:23
(Jane has been added to Not the Boston WAGs)
Shannon: Oh? Fresh meat?
(Jane has left Not the Boston WAGs)
Vikki: Way to scare her off!
(Jane has been added to Not the Boston WAGs)
Vikki: Hey Jane! I spent like twenty minutes trying to draft an introduction message but I'm way too tired for that rn so I figured I'd just drop you into the deep end and see if you can swim
Jane: I'm actually a very strong swimmer
Jane: Sorry, what's going on?
Shannon: Real tactful Vik
Marcus: Hello Jane!!! :)
Shannon: Well, if you've been added to this chat, it means you're officially not a Boston WAG!
Jane: Of course I am not a Boston Raiders WAG.
Jane: Who are you people and how did you get my number?
Vikki: Sveta stole it from Ilya's phone, seemed to think you meet the qualifications
Jane: Who? I don't know anyone named Ilya.
Jane: Or Sveta
Shannon: Shit another one of Roz's girls? And recced by Sveta herself too!
Marcus: Wait do you really not know Rozanov? Vikki did you just add a complete stranger in our inner sanctum???
Shannon: Mark stfu obviously Jane's playing dumb. I don't really blame her either.
Jaz: Y'all are awful. Hello Jane. How are you doing today?
Jane: I was fine, now I'm just confused
Jaz: I don't blame you. Vikki, you know I love you, but it's pretty rude to steal someone's phone number and add them to a chat with no context other than "you're not a WAG, we're not a WAG, let's be friends"
(Jane has left Not the Boston WAGs)
(Jane has been added to Not the Boston WAGs)
Vikki: Babe don't even bother trying, I can do this all day. But Jaz has a point! Let's do introductions, name/player/situation. In order of addition to make this easier
Vikki: I'm Vikki Marlow, first ex wife of one Clifford Marlow and mother of his children.
Jaz: Jazmine St-Simon, you might recognize me as the only one in the Boston WAG box who isn't white, blonde, and a size zero. Technically I am a WAG but Vikki got me in the divorce because she was the only tolerable one of that bunch.
Shannon: Shannon Smith, ex wife #2, better known as "that bitch who knew what she was doing with the pre-nup"
Marcus: Marcus Ford, I'm not Josh Kane's boyfriend but straight people are so fucking weird about relationships that don't fall into their strict black/white, romantic/platonic binary that we keep our partnership very much on the down-low in order not to get hated crimed
Jane: Marcus Ford as in former star goalie for the Denver Pioneers??
Marcus: Uh yeah actually. That's how Josh and I met, we played and roomed together in college
Marcus: You just know that off the top of your head?
Shannon: Wow Rozy has a type and it's way to into hockey
Jane: I don't know what you're talking about
Jaz: Sweetie it's okay. This group chat is for people involved with Raiders players, who might not fall into the wife or girlfriend category, but are important to them anyway. We're not going to judge you no matter how nontraditional your relationship with Ilya is.
Jane: I'm not important to Rozanov.
Jane: I don't even know him.
Vikki: LOL that's not what Svetlana thinks and she's always right. She says you've been chatting for years and Cliff's been talking about Roz's famous Montreal girl since we were married
Shannon: Throughout our marriage too. Rozanov is apparently super cagey about you and Cliff is the least curious person in the world so he could never tell me shit though
Jaz: This chat is about supporting each other and we want you to be comfortable, so we won't pressure you to share anything you don't want to (looking at you Shannon) but all of us are stubborn as hell so short of blocking us all you're not going to escape this
Marcus: Let's be honest, Callie could probably find a way around the blocking thing
Jane: Callie?
Shannon: Callie our Queen! Our favorite international super spy!
Vikki: Super spyyyyyy
Vikki: Damn it that's going to be suck in my head the rest of the day
Shannon: It's been stuck in my head for YEARS thanks to your kids
Jaz: Callie is Connors' not-girlfriend, she travels a lot for work and speaks like ten language and has to change her number pretty often but she's super tech savy and somehow adds herself when she has to get a new phone
Marcus: They met at a fundraiser in NY when she stole his watch
Jane: …Okay then. And Svetlana? What's her deal, her name is familiar?
Shannon: Probs cause she gets photographed with Roz all the time, plus her dad was some kinda Russian hockey star who played here in Boston a loooong time ago. Has he never mentioned her to you?
Jane: He's never mentioned anyone because we don't talk
Shannon: haha I don't blame you, talking would not be the first thing I chose to do with Ilya Rozanov ;)))
Jane: BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER
Jane: So she's his girlfriend?
Marcus: Rozanov doesn't have a girlfriend. Their deal is kinda the opposite of me and Josh's because they're friends who occasionally hook up but don't live together. She's not here because she hates being in group chats? But she'll text us individually, if she wants to hang out or swap insider info
Marcus: Sometimes me and her watch away games together, she knows puck
Shannon: Like I said, Rozy has a type
Jaz: The day Boston hires her as GM is the day we secure the next five cups
Jane: Literally anyone would be a better GM than Thralls, that's not saying much
Marcus: THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING
Vikki: I think you're gonna fit in here just fine babe
Not the Bostons WAGS
Mar 15, 2015 / 3:46
Callie: technically I stole his wallet
Callie: I just told him that I was going to steal his watch :) as a distraction
Callie: Welcome to the chat, Jane from Montreal
Callie: Jane with an Ottawa area code
Callie: This is going to be fun, I can tell :)
Not the Bostons WAGS
Mar 15, 2015 / 6:20
Marcus: damn it Callie, would it kill you to be online when anyone else is awake
Marcus: your sleep schedule scares me