Chapter Text
The two seemed to have just completed a mission for the day, as Chuuya held up report papers for the mission, while Dazai … brought himself. It was a day like any other in the port mafia lobby. Interns running around, crates of items being delivered here to there, it was bliss chaos on a Tuesday afternoon. “Dazai, i swear to fucking GOD if you dont get the hell out my business and—”
“Oh you wound me my dear slug~ you act as if im such a pain in your life, truly tragic!”
“That’s because YOU ARE.”
“Nonsense! Your life would be so empty without me! Face it, chibiko, I’m the reason why you have entertainment every da—”
“SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUP”
Chuuya's voice rang through the entirety of the port mafia corridor, as the two bickered on non-stop, as per usual ofcourse. Poor Hirotsu was already seen at the end of the corridor massaging his temple, feeling another migraine coming through at the sound of the infamous double black bickering once more like kindergarten children. Chuuya looked just about ready to throw Dazai out the window, before Hirotsu stepped in and snapped from the unruly commotion they’ve been causing from the morning. “ENOUGH! BOTH of you OUT. NOW.” Hirotsu pointed out the door, “You can't be serious…” Chuuya groaned, as Dazai fake pouts like the little shit he is. “what? but i've done nothing wrong! is is unjust, I say!”
“Out. right. Now. you two have caused enough drama as is, you've broken two antique vases and scared off at least 10 of our new recruits. You two are staying out this damned building until 4 pm.” Hirotsu dictated as he, bless the man, kicked the two out the door. Hirotsu swore he could hear at least 5 different sighs of relief in the lobby.
“See what you did, Dazai?! You got us literally kicked out of our own workplace!” Chuuya immediately yelled at Dazai again as soon as they got themselves up from the pavement. “Well! It's not my fault ol’Hirotsu’s in a mood.” Dazai shrugs. “This is all your fault! Now where do we go!? We JUST finished our mission, hell we haven’t even given in our reports! What would mori sa—” “Relax, chibi, you act as if he reads those things anyway.” Dazai brushes off Chuuya with an infuriatingly calm demeanor.
Ofcourse, the moment they get kicked out of the pm hq for causing ruckus they immediately cause impending chaos wherever they are now. “What do we do NOW!?” Chuuya looks at Dazai, perplexed on how they’re going to spend their evening now. “Let’s just walk around, jeez, it's not that deep.”
They both waited at the end of the sidewalk as they were to cross a street. Dazai being Dazai, he was crossing roads as if he owned nine lives. “Dazai, you suicidal maniac— look both ways before crossing dumbass, are you trying to get hit!?” Chuuya pulled Dazai back by his coat.“Well, maybe i am! Plus it's not my fault that the car crossed the same time I did.” Dazai waved off a near death experience.
“Is your brain DEFECTIVE.” God help Chuuya because he looks like he's about to bust a vein, or two. “C’mon chibi~ don't tell me you still look both ways before you cross? Scared the car driver won't see your shortass?” “WHY YOU—” they bicker, of course, as they unconsciously walk forward, and lo and behold.. Maybe they should have adhered to Chuuya's suggestion of looking both ways.
Chuuya and Dazai both pass out, yet eventually, after what felt like hours, woke up.
“ACK— mackerel! Get up, we’re trapped!” Chuuya hits his head on something. Was it just him, or did the room shrink? “Chibi! Stop moving, I'm getting crushed here!” great. Just… great. They were trapped in a tiny box, with no idea of where they are. “The hell even happened?? Last I remembered we got hit by some black carriage… and I blacked out.” Chuuya scratched his head in annoyance, trying to wrack his brain for any details that could give them any clue of where the hell they were.
“All I can remember was that hit. Ugh.. my head’s ringing” Dazai groaned. “Idiot, stop groaning and THINK.” Chuuya nudged Dazai's forehead, making the brunette yelp “BAD DOG!” he yelped, covering his poor forehead “WHY YOU— tch- we’re getting distracted here–, I’m blowing us out!” a red aura appeared around Chuuya, as he was ready to blow whatever box they were trapped in. “Chuuya, WAIT-”
Yet before Dazai's warning could reach Chuuya's ears, he had blown off the top of the cramped box they were in, the lid … surprisingly not tightly sealed, blew off like a firework “...oh. That works too.” Chuuya shrugged, getting up, Dazai following suit.
“That… could have killed us. Do it again.” Dazai grabbed Chuuya's shoulders and gave him the mile yard stare. “What the fuck– hell no, get off you suicidal maniac!” Chuuya pushed him off, as Dazai fell on his behind with a thud, looking around. “We were… in a coffin. We’re surrounded by dozens of them.” Dazai commented, as the both looked around the room, they noticed the alarming amount of coffins with gold embellishments and a keyhole right in the middle, a cold sweat broke through Chuuya.
“Did… did we get written off as dead…?” Chuuya stared at the coffins in horror. “Mm.. probably not. The robes we’re wearing right now aren't really morgue attire, ya know?” Chuuya's eyes widened, looking down to his and Dazai's attire. This wasn’t what they were wearing when they left the port mafia.
They were both wearing a black, button up turtle neck one piece that connected to long black pants with gold buttons and gold detailing on it, a black robe on top of it with a purple collar that connected to a hood at the back, with golden rims, and golden patterning on it. They had a purple belt on too with a complicatedly designed golden buckle, the robes having long black sleeves with a gold design on the ends of it, and on the ends of the first layer of the robe. The inner lining of the robe had the same gold patterns as the collar and hood.
“Geez, whoever kidnapped us dressed us up real good.” Dazai commented, feeling the fabric. “Idiot-! We’ve been kidnapped and changed, and that's what you’re talking about!?” Chuuya's mouth hung open at the utter mess of priorities. “Can’t a man appreciate his clothes?” he huffed, putting the hood on.
“Oh shut the fuck up, can’t we just pay attention to finding out where the fuck we are and how we can get the hell out of here!?” Chuuya hauled Dazai up. “Aw. but i was hoping we could’ve just stayed in the coffin for longeer~~” he whined, dramatically putting a hand over his head, while Chuuya could only facepalm.
“What’s the commotion back there!?” a man’s voice rang. They sounded like…. Mori?? Both Dazai and Chuuya recognized the voice, as they both turned to the source of it, and oh boy were they mistaken. A tall man with a crow-like mask and a top hat came barging in, with a cane. “You two students– orientation has started! Why are you both still here!?” the man’s voice exasperated. “What the– orientation? Hell do you think we are, elementary stu–” before Chuuya could go on a tyrannical flow state of slurs, the crow man cut him off.
“Ah! You first years- out of the utter kindness of my heart, I'll let you off hook just this once! Now, get to the orientation room, so we can start.” The mysterious figure cut as he walked out the door, before Dazai and Chuuya glanced at each other. “The hell was that guy’s problem…?” Chuuya commented, scratching his head.
“Does it look like I know? The only clue we have right now is the fact that we’re in a SCHOOL. A SCHOOL.” Dazai emphasized as if they had just entered the gates of hell. “From mafiosos to schoolkids… what grade is this even?! Did our kidnapper fucking send us to school???” Chuuya grimaced at the thought. “Well…. Whoever kidnapped us has our exact measurements, and most likely personal information. Just look at how fitting and tailored the robes are.” Dazai added, finally, a good point.
“Well… I guess so. We should be more careful then. But for now… should we join the orientation thing the guy was talking about?” Chuuya sighed in resignation, lost on what the fuck they were supposed to do. “I guess so. Keep your guard up, though.” Dazai added as the two walked out the coffin and out the room, to be met with a hall of students, all in similar attire, present, the same bird man up front, and a… mirror up there too.
Students seemed to all be called by name, and be brought up to the stage, as the mirror fucking talks and assigns them to a… dorm? Chuuya and Dazai look at each other, confused, before taking a vacant seat. The chamber had 7 smaller mirrors surrounding the big one, each with a boy standing in front of each respective mirror. There was a red headed boy, a boy with lion ears, a boy with glasses, a handsome boy, a… voice from a tablet..? a boy with red eyes, and a boy with a deep voice. They seemed to be conversing as the students started being separated to each smaller mirror.
“Nakahara Chuuya” the bird man up front called out, as Dazai nudged Chuuya, signaling for him to go up, the red head reluctantly stepping up, as the mirror glowed with green flames. “State your name.” the mirror spoke, catching Chuuya off guard.
“...Nakahara Chuuya.” he answered carefully, the mirror pausing for a moment. “The nature of your soul is … intense. You are extremely passionate, and loyal, and possess great physical prowess. Yet I sense a hole of utter destruction in your soul. Your magic is flexible and potent, you are persistent and ambitious. … Savanaclaw.” the mirror’s booming voice answered. Chuuya blinked once, twice… did a fucking mirror just.. Psychoanalyze him?
Before he could think of it further, he was ushered to the pack of students with the boy with lion ears. “Osamu Dazai” the bird man called up Dazai next, as Dazai calmly walked his way there without a care in the world. “State your name” the mirror asks the same question. “Osamu Dazai” Dazai answered with his usual charm and confidence, despite having no fucking idea what’s going on.
“The nature of your soul is … one that gazes into death without fear, studying and trying to solve the manner and use of life like a puzzle. Sharp-witted, hollow, and dangerously curious, your magic is.. Numbing. You do not fear the abyss… Diasomnia.” Dazai stared at the mirror in curiosity. What is said was quite spot on. Dazai was then ushered to the boy with the deep voice, the boy’s pink eyes following Dazai like a monitor with a mischievously youthful gleam.
There was certainly something about this boy that.. Didn't quite sit right with Dazai, yet it intrigued him to no end. Now the duo was separated in different dorms, Chuuya in savanaclaw and Dazai in diasomnia.