Chapter Text
A knock on my bedroom door causes me to take my headphones off. A second one is enough to get me to actually check the door. With a harsh swing I open my barrier to the outside world, revealing my late-night visitor.
“Happy New Year!” My roommate blows a kazoo right into my face.
It takes a lot of restraint for me to not slam the door in his face, but I'd rather not piss off the guy I'll be sharing a bathroom with for the next five months.
Nick hasn't bothered me much since the start of the semester. Well, besides his guitar practice at all hours of the night and bringing a new girl over every weekend. And being suspiciously friendly. Other than those minor character flaws he's been a model dorm mate.
“I know Nick,” I mumble. “Same day as last year.”
He chuckles at my lame joke, hitting my shoulder in response. Despite his playfulness, it really smarts—damn gator strength.
“Good one.” Nick flashes me a toothy grin, showing off rows of razor-sharp teeth and his pierced tongue.
I'd hate to see him get close to a magnet with all those piercings. It looks like a stapler blew up in his face. He has those poser tribal tattoos that were cool in the aughts too; I can't imagine all the money he's spent to look like that.
He leans over my shoulder, ignoring my personal space, to peer into my bedroom.
“This is how you're celebrating the new year, bro? Alone in your room?”
I roll my eyes and do my best to block his view into my bedroom.
“I'm busy, Nick; I have a lot on my plate right now.”
He scoffs.
“Like what? Fighting the covenant for the hundredth time?”
Fuck, he saw my screen. Next time I need to move my monitor further away from the door.
My roommate grips my shoulder, shaking me out of my train of thought.
“Bro, live a little; it's New Year's Eve!” He reminds me as if that's all the assurance I need to break into jubilation. With a tug he pulls me out of my room and into the living room.
There's not much to our shared living space outside of an old couch Nick found on somebody's curb. I've been meaning to set up a TV as well but can't justify spending that kind of money right now. I doubt my old man would send me any sort of funds to buy one either. Getting to college was part of our little agreement, supporting me has been a whole other thing entirely.
“C'mon, man, I know a sorority that's throwing a party tonight, and you're coming with me.”
A party? I've never been to one of those, not a real one anyways.
“I, I dunno, I'm not sure—”
“Not sure? It's a party, Anon, not an exam.” He tries to reassure me, mellowing his pose. “Nobody's going to expect you to be taking notes.”
“I know that,” I huff. “It’s… complicated.”
“Oh,” Nick pauses for a second, taking on a less boisterous tone. “Is this about your ex?”
That obvious, huh?
“Yeah,” I quietly admit. “I haven't… done something like this since Lucy.”
Not that long ago I felt like I was on top of the world. I had gotten the girl, friends, and a scholarship for a good university. But the more time I was away, the more we… drifted apart. It was small at first but days without calls turned into weeks without messages. By the time I saw Lucy again for Christmas, it was like meeting a complete stranger. Neither of us could muster up the strength to point out the obvious, but it was there all the same.
I haven't talked to her since getting back on campus and I don't know if I ever will.
“That's rough, buddy.” My friend gives me a sympathetic nod. “Your first breakup is always your hardest. By the third, it’s like water off a duck though.”
“Uhh, thanks, I guess.” Don't think that's exactly the kind of advice I want to hear right now. Nick kind of sucks at the pep talks. At least his heart is in the right place. I think.
“Hey,” The blue dino pats my back. “You might even find that special girl.” He pauses for a second. “Or guy, if you're cool with that. No judgement.”
My face prunes like a raisin at the thought of some “special” guy. I'm not that desperate for a rebound.
“No thanks,” I blurt out.
Nick shrugs indifferently. “Don't knock it till you try it.”
Is he being serious? Is this how I find out my roommate has been eyeing me for a year?
This has to be the strangest come-on I've ever experienced.
“C'mon, we're wasting time. If we sit around and talk anymore, we won't get there till next year.” He pulls me along like a sack of potatoes towards the doorway.
I follow along with little resistance; at this point Nick has made up his mind, and there's no point arguing about it. Might as well go along and make something of tonight.
…
…
I hate it here.
My first real college party, and I hate everything about it. The music is loud and garish. Everyone smells weird and I just want to go back to my dorm and play rock ring. Damn, I can physically feel the music reverberate through my chest as it blares throughout the house.
Nick left me to fend for myself the moment he laid eyes on a girl that paid attention to him. So far I haven't seen anyone here I recognize outside of him. We don't exactly run in the same crowds, so I don't know what I was expecting from a sorority party, but it wasn't this.
I'm too stubborn to leave at this point; I've invested too much time to just give up. Instead of leaving, I've been leaning against the wall furthest from the stereo system. The only thing I have to keep me busy is the solo cup in my hand. Nick passed it onto me when we first got here; he downed his drink like it was water, but just a sip of it left my tongue feeling numb. No idea what's in this, but I doubt it's just alcohol.
I've been sipping on the dark liquid occasionally, hoping that I'd grow to like the way it tastes or at least tolerate it.
“ANON!”
I nearly spill my drink as my name is shouted into my ear. I whip to my left, afraid I've bothered some drunken partygoer, but it's just my roommate. He's looking a shade redder than usual, almost salmon; under his arm is an equally inebriated raptor girl. At least I think it is a girl; it's hard to tell with most of their hair covering their face.
“This is Alex!” He shouts over the booming music.
Damn, I was hoping the name would help me a little to solve the gender question. I raise my drink in response, not knowing what else to really do with that information.
“Wait, are you still on your first drink?” Nick points out my nearly full solo cup.
“Uh, yeah.” I admit feeling too embarrassed to think of a lie on the spot. The answer makes the man frown like it’s the most disappointing thing he’s heard all day.
“Oh, come on, Anon, drink.” He pats me on the back. “It’s New Year’s.”
“The drinks are free too,” Alex chirps in. “You can always get more.”
Wasn’t exactly worried about how much this would set me back, but her drunken encouragement is appreciated. Glancing into my cup, I see a liquid reflection of myself stare back at me. I look like a fish out of water standing here. Completely out of my element. Couldn't make it more obvious this is my first party if I tried.
They are right though; I've barely drunk any since getting here. Ah, what the hell, I’m going to feel like shit tomorrow regardless; might as well make it count. At Nick and Alex’s whooping approval, I swig the remainder of my drink in one go.
“That’s more like it, Anon.” Nick smiles, handing me his solo cup in return. “You can have the rest of mine, champ; you’ve earned it.”
I take the cup like it's a golden chalice with clammy hands. My head feels like it's circling the drain, becoming submerged in the liquid I just drank. It feels fucking awful. Yet I somehow weirdly want to keep repeating it. With another gulp I finish Nick's drink as well.
“Alex and I are going upstairs. I hope you get lucky too, Anon.” Alex's face flushes as they giggle into Nick's arm. The couple elope up the stairway, swaying left and right at each step.
Really doubt that's going to happen. Especially now that the room is starting to float away. Oh God, why did I even drink all that swill? My stomach lurches with nausea as bile grows in my throat. I need to find a place to lie down before I throw up everywhere and embarrass myself more than I already have.
Leaving my wallflower spot, I push through the throngs of dancing dinos in search of some place to lie down. Going up the stairs in my condition is a non-starter, so I have to find something on the first floor. As someone's tail bumps into my stomach, I nearly lose my lunch, but I do find my salvation: an old ruffed-up couch.
What looks to be a girl's top is sitting on it, but I don't care anymore; I just flop down like a dead fish. The couch springs whine from the added weight as I sink into the cushions.
All I can do now is stare up at the ceiling as the room spins around me. God, what an awful night.
…
…
What feels like two daggers being stabbed into my eyes is what rouses me from my dreamless sleep. I don't remember falling asleep last night; the last thing I can recall was that spinning couch, and then… nothing.
Opening my eyes I see the sun glaring down onto me like an angry god. Shifting to my side to avoid it causes me to fall off my resting place and fall face-first onto the cool grass.
THUDD
What a great way to ring in the new year, Anon, falling face first. Rough greenery pokes at my skin, and the taste of dirt fills my mouth. Mixing that with what already feels like sandpaper in there is legit fucking awful. Peeling myself off the ground, I looked around to make sure nobody saw what just happened. Nope, the entire quad is empty and looks like a ghost town. It makes sense, I guess not a lot of people wander around early on New Year's Day.
I sit back down on the bench I evidently slept on last night to gather my thoughts. Every inch of me feels like I've been hit by a bus. My body is sore all over, especially my legs that burn like hell. And my head throbs in agony as I try to string a thought together.
No idea how I ended up here last night, and looking around, I don’t see any clues. The only other thing in the university quad is a squirrel digging through a nearby trashcan.
Well, I have one thing going for me at least; my cigarettes are still in my back pocket. I open the pack with my clammy hands, careful not to drop any of the loose cigs. I used to never smoke, but ever since I dated Lucy, I’ve caught a craving for them.
Technically this place is supposed to be a smoke-free campus, but I need this right now. Then again, it would be my luck for the only campus cop to catch me smoking right now of all people. As I finish the cigarette, I drop it and crush it under my heel, making sure to smother it.
Well, on that note, I guess I should head back to my dorm; Nick is probably worried about me not coming back from the party. He could also be so hungover he hasn't noticed yet.
…
It takes a while to walk back to my dorm. The quad is the heart of campus, with the library, academic buildings, and main office built around it, each with intermingling paths to each other like a spider web. The dorms, on the other hand, are on the ass end of campus, far away from prying eyes. I remember during orientation my guide mentioned something about only a third of students living on campus and that the dorm buildings were only a recent add-on. To think even with those odds I still ended up with a roommate like Nick. I hope he has some explanation as to how the hell I ended up so far away from the party. Passed out people don't go on nightly strolls by themselves after all.
After walking up the stairs (seriously, the elevator has been broken for two semesters now; when are they going to fix it?) I finally find myself face-to-face with my dorm's front door as I look through my pockets for my keycard. I swear to God if I lost anything last night Nick will never hear the end of it.
No, my key is right where I left it in my wallet. As I pull the card out, my eyes focus on a folded-up photo next to my ID. I know I shouldn’t look at it; if anything, I should have thrown it away, but I can’t help but pull it out and unfold it.
It’s a photo of my senior prom. Lucy’s mom insisted on taking enough pictures to fill up an entire scrapbook that night. At the time I hated every second of it, but I’m glad I still have something to remember the night by. The picture is just the two of us standing in Lucy’s living room, my hand on her waist and her wings around my shoulder. Both of us don’t look particularly happy to be there, and our smiles are strained at best, but at the time I felt like I had it all.
Strange how things can slip through your fingers so quickly.
“What have you got there, bro?”
My face flushes as I look up to Nick red-handed with my photo. How the hell could a guy so loud be so quiet?
“It's, uh, nothing.” I quickly blurt out, trying to think of something to say. Nick just laughs.
“Relax, Anon, I'm not a cop.” He assures me, leaning over to take a look at the picture for himself.
“Hey, you can’t—”
Nick ignores my protest, letting out a low whistle as he stares at the photo. He looks back at me and the photo a few times to make sure he’s seeing right.
“Is this you with that ex you mentioned?”
“Yeah?”
“Dayum, Anon.” He slaps me hard on my back, nearly knocking me over. “I didn’t know you moved like that.”
“Thanks.” I wince, still feeling the sting of his slap.
“I’m serious, man. When you said you had a girlfriend, I was picturing some little skinnie girl with frumpy hair and thick glasses, not…” Nick pauses for a moment, struggling to put his surprise into words. “That.” He motions to the photo, letting Lucy speak for herself.
I stuff the photo back into my pocket with a huff. Don't really want to hear how hot Nick thinks my ex is.
“Anyway, what happened last night?”
Nick frowns, confused by the question.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, how did I end up in the quad last night? I don’t remember anything that happened last night.”
“Oh.” Nick snaps his fingers. “Yeah, you were pretty wasted last. I saw you passed out on the couch when I left with Alex.”
“You left me passed out on a couch?!?”
“Calm down, Anon,” He raises his hands in defense.” I didn’t leave you alone; I left you with that girl.”
“What girl?”
He shrugs.
“I dunno, I didn’t ask her name. I kinda had other things on my mind at the time. But she said she knew you and would take you back.”
Take me back? Back where?
“And you didn’t think it was weird that I never showed up back here?”
“No, not really.” He shakes his head. “I figured you were at her place.”
“Well, who was she?”
“I said I don’t know, man.” He huffs, frustration creeping into his voice. “She was just another girl at the party.”
“Well, what did she look like?”
Nick’s face scrunches up as he tries to recall my late-night good Samaritan.
“Parasaur chick, blonde hair, kind of short,” he recalls. “When I left she was sitting on the couch trying to get you moving.”
I rack my brain trying to put a face to what Nick described but… nothing. Nada. Nobody from any of my classes comes to mind; I’d think someone like that would be hard to forget. But who was that girl and why did she want to take me somewhere? Probably just another drunk girl that mistook me for someone else.
“Anyway.” Nick stretches, letting out a tired yawn. “Alex made some ramen if you want any; help yourself.”
Ramen for breakfast? Well, beggars can’t be choosers.
“Thanks.” I step past my roommate to get into my dorm. Feels good to finally be back in my own place.
“Don’t thank me, man; thank her.” Nick points over to the lump lying on our couch. It slumps over, revealing a spring of hair under a layer of blankets and clothes.
“Uh, thanks, Alex.”
“Hmmph.” She grunts, turning back onto her side.
I walk past our unexpected guest to the small kitchenette; sitting on the counter is the ramen next to the microwave. A feast fit for a king.
It feels good to have some food in me at least, even if it is a little cold now. I pick at the last of the remaining ramen with a plastic spoon in silence.
“Hey Anon?” Nick speaks up, stepping into the kitchen.
“Yeah?” I look up from my sad empty bowl.
“Happy New Year.” He smiles, shaking my shoulder.
I can’t help but laugh a little in response. Even if I feel like shit, he seems to have enough energy for the both of us. Like there’s something worth celebrating that’s going to happen this year.
“Yeah,” I mumble. “Happy New Year.”