Chapter Text
16.
That was how many times she and Imogen had kissed that first night.
16 more than she’d ever gotten her humble hopes up for, 16 times that Imogen expanded her hearts potential, 16 little butterflies growing inside her like she was a cocoon meant to house their love, nurture it, be devoured by it.
There had been the first one of course, when they were floating up in the sky after she’d saved her from the wall of flames.
Then kisses 2-7 happened in relatively quick succession after they’d shared their true feelings.
8-14 were up against a tree that was conveniently located behind wherever Laudna had been standing and Imogen had been kind enough to press her back into. (Truly it was as hot as it was helpful, Laudna felt like her legs were going to give out from beneath her at any second.)
15 and 16 were on the way back to camp, both stolen under a promise of ‘last one.’
But hey, who was counting?
Besides Laudna of course.
17 was the next morning as soon as they both woke. Like they needed that affirmation that it hadn’t been some crazy dream.
It was a quick peck and just as quickly they moved away from each other to get ready for the day. Thin, giddy smiles on their cheeks.
18 was that night before bed. Camp made, dinner had, and haphazard plans laid, they’d taken their spots beside each other, lying on their sides and smiling like they both thought it was a dream and didn’t want to wake up. Then Imogen had pushed up on her elbow, leaned over to brush a hair off her face, and just leaned that last bit to kiss her.
Laudna had smiled and kissed her back, feeling that sensation like right when you bit into a cherry. Like right when the breeze carried the smell of a fresh loaf of bread. Like right when hope had blossomed.
Imogen pulled back to smile at her and not much further and they both breathed a little laugh.
“I’ll take one next if you’re just handing them out.” Fearne’s voice carried over from her spot across the fire. Her tone was teasing but her smile was absolutely affectionate, like she was more excited to see the two of them together than she’d ever be for defeating Predathos.
“Sorry Fearne, they’re only for her.” Imogen said without looking away and Laudna smiled, feeling her heart do a little dance. Only for her…
“You’re sure?” Laudna had asked softly, because Imogen should have everything, and she wasn’t sure she could be everything.
Kiss 19 had been her answer.
This pattern followed for the next few days. Every thing was lousy and intense around them. Eshteross had been killed, they were going to try and save the voice of the Tempest, the moons were still doing creepy moon things, but they’d always share at least one in the morning and one at night.
In Zephrah they shared kiss 28 under a cherry blossom tree. They all felt special, but that one had been really beautiful… the petals falling around her as she pulled her close and felt the winds blow the fabric on her skirts.
Kiss 31 had been later that night when they were on the roof of Orym’s mother’s house and they’d hit the 50’s before they parted. She’d also somehow climbed into Imogen’s lap with her fingers carded in her hair. Not that she needed to breathe much, but she certainly hadn’t been for those minutes. Oxygen had nothing on her girl. She needed Imogen in her lungs, every other second or she was sure she’d die.
Kiss 57 had been proceeded by one of the more terrifying experiences in Laudna’s life.
That was saying something. She had plenty to choose from, but this in particular had taken the cake and almost taken Imogen.
She had watched a beast hold Imogen in its jaw and try to tear her apart, and Laudna had stopped seeing color. It didn’t help that this place was called the Grey Valley, but even after she’d snarled and turned to a beast, glowering over her beloved’s form and watching the monster be absolutely decimated by Fearne she still only saw black and white and red. So much red on her girl as they carried her out of there. They’d healed many of the life threatening wounds, but she was still hurt. She was hurt and it might as well have been Laudna’s heart pierced as she watched her stumble through the wastes.
She held onto Laudna’s shoulder for a lot of the walk and let her tut and take care of her. She insisted on helping her up every incline and over every stone and Imogen just smiled tiredly.
She kissed her briefly when they found the entrance to a cave. Just a little press of lip to the corner of her mouth when they were getting ready to enter the hide out.
“I’m alright sugar.” She said, soft but confident. “I’ve survived worse.”
“I know, I know you’re incredibly capable, I just- I really really hated- Imogen he almost tore you in half.” Her words came out in a jumble and she knew she was doing a bad job at comforting the person with teeth marks, but Imogen shook her head and just smiled, pulling her close to lean against her.
“But he couldn’t. Because my girl protected me.” Imogen said softly and Laudna sighed a deep breath, putting her arms out to wrap Imogen up close to her. No separation, no space for any demons or sons of hell to ever dare part them.
“I wish I could’ve protected you more.” She said, slowly seeing the shades of lavender in her hair. Slowly taking in the peachy tones to her skin.
“It’s enough.” Imogen said, pulling back slightly to see her face and running a finger on her chin. “I hate to say life is getting more and more dangerous. But I’m here. You’re here. It’s all we can hope for.”
Laudna sighed with her chin on her shoulder.
“You know I’ve always worried for you. In any encounter when I can’t see you across a battlefield, or right in front of me when a bandit or a shade creeper would get a hit in it killed me a little. Now though… it kills me a lot. More than a rope or a tree or a sword through my chest. Does that make sense?”
Imogen sighed, gripping her tighter.
“Love is a wild thing isn’t it?” She agreed, kissing her temple. “It killed me to lose you. A part of me was crushed under that building in Bassarus, and snared in that shadowed tree alongside you.”
Laudna felt one black tear break away and slide down her cheek.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Laudna you died.” She said in a pained whisper. “You don’t get to apologize for that alright? But I will thank you everyday for coming back to me… for letting me have this. If it’s for a day, a month, or 1000 years, I’ll cherish every one of them.”
Laudna laughed with another tear breaking free.
“How could I want to be anywhere but here?”
They shared kiss 58 right after this, and it was salty with tears and sweat and a bit of blood. It was perfect.
Kiss 62 was a night or so later when they had a room in an inn and a long day behind them and a long one ahead. Imogen was coming from the bath in her night gown with her hair wet and a towel drying it over her shoulder. She looked heavenly.
She smiled, looking shyly at Laudna and she wondered if she’d said that out loud, before realizing she had taken her circlet off and she probably thought it loud enough for every telepath from here to Ruidus to hear.
“Charmer.” Imogen said with a grin.
“It’s true.” Laudna said simply. She scooted closer to the edge of the bed and pat it as way of invitation. Imogen smiled not needing much of one and coming over to sit with one leg curled under her lap.
“You know I can’t help but feel like… you gave me this declaration of love, but I barely told you.. what you mean to me.” Laudna said, running a finger over the sheets in nonsensical patterns.
“Oh yeah?” Imogen asked, drawl deep and eye half lidded. Laudna took her hand in hers and nodded.
“If I’m your tether, then you are my pulse… the thing that makes me alive is you dear. Not just undead but alive. Feel it.” She shifted the hand holding Imogen’s to press it to her neck so she could feel the tempo beneath. Imogen inhaled with a smile.
“It’s going pretty fast there for you Laud.”
“It knows what I’m about to do…” She said, voice lowering as she leaned across and kissed her.
They lost their night gowns that night, and she heard Imogen gasp in a way she hadn’t before. Felt herself shake and grind and chase and having spent her whole life a terror she was stunned to say… she felt beautiful. There, draped above Imogen with that glowing look in her eyes that said there was nothing she’d rather be looking at… she thought perhaps she was something to behold. They shared kiss 91 at the end of their little tryst as the candles had long burned out. She was thankful she could see in the dark, to not miss a single moment of her girl.
The next night they were giggling and lying in bed sharing heated kisses. She felt like a princess in a story. A school girl with a crush. A young maiden in love. She basically felt like 1000 versions of someone, none of them herself, and it was glorious. Even stranger to learn that this feeling belonged to her now. That this was simply how Laudna no last name was going to feel.
Imogen smiled, pulling back with this wide gorgeous grin. “You’re insatiable.”
“You started it, I barely see how this is my fault.” Laudna said low and teasing.
“Feels like I’ve just been wanting to do it for so long.” Imogen said, smiling light and running a gentle thumb along the column of her throat. “Honestly I sort of can’t believe it sometimes.”
“You can’t believe it?” Laudna said with a warm smile of her own. “I’m a dead girl. A twice dead girl, and I’m… creepy. Gangly, unsightly, a blight on the sighted, and many other fun terms of endearment I’ve gathered over the years. I truly wonder how I’ve fallen into this parallel world where things are so different and there’s a you that loves a me.”
Imogen pulled her closer, resting her head against her chest, lightly stroking her back and keeping her curled in tight.
“I wish I could undo it all.” She said gently. “Every bad thing that ever happened before I met you. I wish I could take it away.”
Laudna smiled. She was doing it a lot lately, but not in the ‘I swear I’m fine’ way, or the ‘Ooooh things are getting interesting’ way, or even in the ‘I want to unsettle them just a little’ way. She was smiling from her cheeks straight to her heart and it sort of made her feel like crying.
“If you could I wouldn’t have met you.” Laudna said gently. “If Matilda Bradbury had gone on to live an uneventful life, or if a single town had accepted a dead and wandering girl, there wouldn’t be an us. An Imogen and a Laudna. And there is nothing I wouldn’t endure to keep that darling.”
Imogen hummed against her and kissed her forehead. “How’d I get so lucky to fall for you?”
She chuckled, turning her head and stealing the next kiss. She smiled lazily and then her eyes flew up.
“That was 100.”
Imogen’s face turned in slight confusion, that grew when Laudna jumped out of the bed and scrambled over to her bag.
“That was what?”
“100!” Laudna said, jumping back in the bed with her legs crossed and her hands clasped together. “I have something for you to commemorate it.”
“Okay?” Imogen said.
She opened her hands to reveal a charm. The smallest bones she’d been able to find, twined with thin threads into a little heart shape, all dangling on a red ribbon with a dark onyx gemstone she’d been carrying around for a while. Imogen smiled at the little thing, smaller than her thumbnail, and Laudna transferred it to her palm.
“I thought it could be a little charm for your-“ And she motioned to the red wristband she’d been wearing since their early days with the Hells.
“I love it honey.” She said taking it delicately and using her mage hand to wind it around her bracelet while she held it steady between a thumb and forefinger.
“It looks great.” She said, a little giddy at seeing it displayed on her girl.
“It does.” She agreed. “Wait, you said this was for commemorating something?”
Laudna blushed slightly, turning her head away with a smile.
“Well… yes. It might be a little silly to say out loud.”
“I don’t think you’re silly.” Imogen said, putting her hand over Laudna’s. She nodded, leaning so her shoulder was pressed into her girls side.
“That was our 100th kiss.” She said with a small shrug. 100 more than she ever thought she’d have.
“What?” Imogen said with a smile. “Really? You’ve been counting?”
Laudna nodded. “I… count a lot of things. It was a technique when I was alone that helped me feel like things were happening. Like they were real, because I had tangible proof. I had statistics. I can tell you I went to 48 different towns before I ended up in Gelvaan. 15 cities. 7 communes. I caught 273 butterflies during that time. I ate 102 loaves of bread. I’ve been stabbed with a pitchfork 6 times. When we were in the Highlands I took 26,121 steps. I’ve told you you’re very capable about a million times, and Pâtê has learned 19 different dances.”
Imogen smiled, running her thumb along the back of her knuckles.
“So you’ve been counting kisses?”
“Because it feels like a way to make sure it’s real.” Laudna nodded.
Imogen leaned over and pressed her forehead to hers, inhaling slowly and exhaling.
“It’s real baby. You don’t have to count to believe it, cause I’ll be here to remind you.”
Laudna smiled, closing her eyes and absorbing the feeling. The slight pressure, the warmth, the everything of her girl right here with her.
“I know you’re right... but is it okay if I count a while longer?” She asked. “Just to be sure.”
“Of course Laud.” She said, giving her the lightest press of lips. Laudna pressed back, and then Imogen was draping her arms over her neck and pressing her back into the mattress.
An hour or so later they were lying with their clothes stripped and sweat glistening on their skin.
“How many was that?” Imogen asked her, pressing up on the bed to kiss her neck and give her a coy smile.
Laudna chuckled, moving her arm from where it was draped over her face.
“137.” She said, having to do some quick math with the haze of earlier lifting.
Imogen hummed and leaned back down to steal a quick press of lip. “I prefer even numbers.”
Laudna chuckled, leaning back to steal another. “I like odds.”
“That’s gonna be a problem isn’t it?” Imogen said, leaning back down and kissing her again.
And all Laudna could feel in between this joy and this love was her pulse. Pounding around inside the cage of her body in a steady pattern of thump thump.