Archive of Our Own

Jeongin couldn't sleep. He was thinking too hard. 

He turned around to lay on his back, careful not to disturb Chan who was snoring on the other side of the bed. He'd fallen asleep with an arm slung around Jeongin but he'd quickly gotten hot in his sleep and unconsciously shifted away until they weren't touching anymore. 

Chan had slipped into his room about an hour ago, and he hadn't said anything outright but Jeongin knew he'd been looking to let himself go and have someone else call the shots for a little bit, so that's exactly what he'd done.

There was something so satisfying about having his oldest boyfriend whimpering underneath him, clutching his skin, trusting him so fully to take care of him and give him everything he needed. 

Chan was always so…responsive. So sensitive, so vocal about what felt good, which was usually everything. He was definitely a talker when they had sex, like he needed Jeongin to know how good he was feeling. As if it wasn't already obvious, but he wasn't complaining. Well, maybe he was complaining a little because that's what had started his spiral of thoughts that were currently keeping him awake. 

Because Jeongin had never bottomed before. He'd never had a relationship before meeting his members so when they'd all started dating he'd had exactly zero experience with anything involving another person. And he was happy about that, don't get him wrong. He loved getting to experience all his firsts with the people he loved the most, but when they'd all first started having sex Chan had made them all sit down and have what had been a very long conversation about likes, wants, preferences, etc so that everyone was on the same page. 

During that time, Jeongin had felt like he didn't have much to contribute, because he was a virgin and didn't really know what he liked yet. He hadn't even had sex with any of the others until a couple months after they'd all started dating because he'd been a little nervous, but they'd all been so good to him when he did finally start to get more intimate with them.

It had been Felix who had first taken his virginity, and it was a night he knew he would never forget. Felix had made him feel so loved and cared for, but he also hadn't made a huge deal out of it which he'd really appreciated. 

While he hadn't been ashamed, exactly, that he'd been the only person without any experience in their new relationship, it had still been a little embarrassing and a big reminder that he was the youngest, so he'd been glad that Felix hadn't made him feel like a baby. The others would've had a harder time with that, he knew. 

He had topped Felix that night. And then eventually he'd topped all the others, which had all been great experiences as well. It was amazing each time he did it, no matter that it had been a couple years now since that first time. But throughout those several years, he had still only ever topped. Only ever been the one fucking someone, not the one being fucked. 

And it was his own doing, really. He'd been asked before—mostly in the beginning but a couple times in the last year or so—if he ever wanted to try bottoming. And each time he'd said no, and because his boyfriends were perfect they never tried to push, never tried to persuade him into trying it. Jeongin was a top, and they knew that's all he would ever want and they loved him for it. 

Except, Jeongin had been thinking a lot lately. Because while in the past he'd truly never thought of bottoming, never had any interest in trying it because he loved fucking his boyfriends and it felt amazing, so why bother switching it up?

He couldn't deny that it sounded a little scary to him, too. He knew that bottoming for the first time could be uncomfortable as well, so in the past it had never really been something that had intrigued him enough to try. 

Now, though…he wasn't sure why he kept thinking about it. Maybe it had something to do with his boyfriends, and how loud and vocal they all got when they bottomed. He'd noticed, too, that some of them—Minho, for example—had a much different noise level when they were topping or bottoming. When Minho fucked someone, he mostly grunted or panted loudly, but when he was getting fucked? You could hear it through the walls nearly every time. 

Chan was similar, and tonight as Jeongin had fucked him he thought about what it must have felt like for him. Clearly it felt good (because Chan had babbled it to him the whole time) but could it really feel that good? That much different from topping? 

A couple nights ago he'd caved and searched online for answers. Does bottoming feel better than topping? The results had been inconclusive, just a bunch of stuff about how sex feels different for everyone and everyone had their own preferences and blah blah blah. Nothing super helpful because of course he knew all that already. 

He did find himself going through an article on prostate stimulation, though, because that was probably the thing he was most curious about. He'd never even fingered himself before, so he had no idea what his prostate felt like or how it would make him feel. And suddenly he'd found himself wanting to know. 

He didn't know what to do, though. He'd figured out that he probably wanted to at least try bottoming, but now he faced the problem of actually doing it. Realistically, he knew he could ask someone for help. All of his boyfriends bottomed at least semi-regularly and would all be capable of giving him some tips, but the thought of asking them had his face heating up and his heart jumping. 

So, he would try to figure this out himself. 

Tomorrow night, he told himself. Tomorrow night he would try. Just to see, and he probably wouldn't like it and then he could go back to being a top for the rest of his life. 

He stared at Chan's back, still picturing the way he'd looked underneath him that night. The way his eyes had rolled back and the veins in his neck had popped out from the pleasure of getting fucked into. Would he feel like that, if he let himself get topped? 

The thought kept him up a little more, but the sound of Chan snoring peacefully finally made him succumb to his tiredness and he drifted off, hoping to rest up well for his big night tomorrow. 

~~~

He was nervous. 

That night he'd eaten an early dinner and told Chan he wanted to be by himself for a bit, which wasn't super unusual of him so Chan had just smiled and waved him off to his room. But now he was just sitting on his bed, not sure what to do.

Logically, he knew he didn't actually need to do anything. He could always just decide tonight wasn't the night, or that he wasn't interested in fingering himself anymore and go back out to Chan to say he'd changed his mind and wanted to spend the evening together, even though his boyfriend had probably already snuck off to his own room to get some more work done. 

No, he told himself. He wanted to try this. He was curious, and he didn't want to back out. He grabbed the bottle of lube that he kept under his bed and put it next to him, but then he got a little stuck again. Now what? Did he just…start? Should he touch his dick first, to get him in the mood?

He decided that that sounded like a good idea, so he pulled his pants off and reached for his laptop to pull up his favorite porn account. He'd found out pretty early on that he preferred videos where people's heads were hidden so he just imagined they were one of his boyfriends instead. 

He quickly searched for one of his favorite videos, where a man with a small dick that resembled Seungmin got played with until he was overstimulated and crying about it. He tried to forget about the fact that he was going to try fingering himself and focused on the video, his cock hardening quickly as he closed his eyes and listened to the sounds, imagining they were coming from Seungmin instead.

He was fully hard in no time, and he forced himself to let go of his dick, letting it flop onto his stomach. His heart was hammering in his chest, but he reminded himself again that he could always stop. That he was just doing this because he was curious to try, and no one would ever know if he chickened out two seconds in. 

He strained his ears, listening for any sound of Chan out and about in the apartment, but he didn't hear anything. He shoved his bed covers all the way down and decided to take his shirt off as well so it wouldn't be in his way, and then he finally reached for the lube bottle again.

His boyfriends always told him he had the perfect fingers. They were long, thin, and pretty, and apparently they felt really good when they were inside someone. He would find out soon if that also included himself. 

He just lubed up one to start, almost convinced that it wouldn't feel great and he wouldn't move on to a second. This would just be a quick experiment to make sure bottoming wasn't for him, and then he could go back to jerking himself off like nothing had happened. Right?

He took a deep, shaky breath and parted his thighs a little. He felt exposed, even with no one else in the room, and part of him wondered if he should cover himself with his bedsheets but decided against it. He was fine, he just needed to relax. 

He slid his hand between his legs, having to part them just a little more to make enough room, and the feeling of his wrist rubbing against the skin of his inner thighs was already enough to make him shiver. He'd never really been touched here. Only in the shower when washing himself, but this definitely felt different. He was staring at the ceiling with his bottom lip between his teeth when he first pressed his finger against his rim. 

It felt…weird? He was used to touching his boyfriends assholes, and he never thought twice about it now, but now that it was his own he felt hypersensitive about each touch. He could feel himself twitch against his finger slightly and it kinda freaked him out, but he didn't pull his finger away. But he didn't do anything else, either. He just held the tip of his finger against his hole for a couple seconds before he started to ever so slowly rub the digit up and down, trying to get used to touching himself there. 

His dick was getting soft, he noticed. Nothing that he was doing was particularly arousing, more weird-feeling, and his dick wasn't appreciating it. He brought his other hand down to wrap around himself, hoping for a distraction from his ass. 

He found it a little difficult to coordinate slowly stroking his cock while rubbing gently against his hole, but after a minute or so he managed to get a rhythm down, and he had to admit that it didn't feel bad. 

Now that he was a bit used to being touched there, he found that it was actually pretty pleasant. Jerking himself off at the same time had definitely been the right move, and it almost felt like the stimulation to his hole was finally contributing to his arousal instead of dimming it.

He knew he'd have to do more, though. It wouldn't count if he just rubbed himself to an orgasm without even properly fingering himself, so he took his hand off his dick for a moment. 

He added some more lube to his finger, not because it particularly needed more but because he was stalling a little. Finally, though, after hyping himself up a little, he pressed his finger again to the furled skin of his asshole with a little more pressure than he'd used before. 

His mouth parted as the tip of his finger slipped inside and was immediately gripped by his tight walls. He stilled, a little overwhelmed already. He was still shocked by how different it felt touching himself rather than one of his boyfriends. He was warm inside, a bit wet as well, and he felt tighter than he'd ever experienced with the others, no doubt because he'd never been penetrated before. It was also probably because he was all tense, and he tried to relax the best he could before pushing his finger in another inch and stopping again. 

There was no pain. Not yet, at least, and he was relieved, though he was sure that would change if he added more fingers. 

He was up to the first finger joint, but somehow it felt much bigger than he knew it was. He thought about the others and how some of them enjoyed being double penetrated and suddenly he couldn't fathom how they did it. How they didn't feel like they were being ripped in half. 

Well, they probably did, he thought. They just enjoyed feeling like that. 

He wasn't sure he was quite at that point, though. He wasn't moving his finger at all, just keeping it still inside of him and hesitantly prodding at his walls with the tip. He wanted to try finding his prostate eventually, but wondered if he should get to two fingers before he attempted that. 

First, though, he should focus on getting one full finger inside himself instead of laying there awkwardly with less than half a finger inside. He took a deep breath and on the exhale he slid his finger the rest of the way in until his knuckle was pressed against his rim. 

A soft noise left his mouth, like a little grunt, and he could feel himself clenching down on his finger and he tried to adjust to the strange feeling. It still didn't hurt, but it was uncomfortable. He definitely wasn't getting the hype yet. 

He slid his finger out and back in once, fascinated by the way he kept clenching down hard, like maybe he was trying to expel the intrusion, but on the first thrust back in he made another little grunting noise.

That felt…a little good?

He tried it again, sliding his finger out until just the tip remained inside and pushed it back in. It sent tingles up his spine, not at all unpleasant, and he wrapped his free hand around his dick again. 

He moaned softly, mostly at the way he was palming the head of his cock but maybe a little from how he was now fucking himself slowly with one finger. The uncomfortableness had gone away almost completely and his mouth stayed parted as he fucked himself, thighs inching a little further apart as his hips tilted up into the sensation. 

The feeling of having something inside him was still foreign and strange, but he liked the way it felt when the sides of his finger brushed against his soft walls. Enjoyed the way his dick seemed to respond to the stimulation.

He wanted to try another. See if that would still feel good, or maybe feel even better. 

So he halted his movements and took his finger out briefly to add some lube onto a second one. It felt weird being empty now that he'd gotten used to being full, and he thought he could understand better when the others would sometimes get so upset after he'd pulled out once they'd come. 

He held the tips of two fingers now against his tip and took another deep breath, his other hand still playing with the head of his cock as he pushed in. 

And—oh. That burned a little bit. 

He paused with just the very tips of his fingers inside of himself, still breathing deeply. He tried pushing them in a little more and his thighs twitched, threatening to close but he didn't pull them out. 

It wasn't super painful, still more uncomfortable than actual pain, but it was definitely more intense and prominent than it had been with one finger. 

He was touching himself again, long, languid strokes up and down his cock to take his mind off the feeling between his legs as he waited for it to go down a little. His erection had flagged a bit, but he was still mostly hard and warm in his hand and he tried to focus on that.

Eventually he found himself not noticing the fingers in his ass and he tried to wiggle them a little, sliding them just a bit further inside. It still felt a little uncomfortable but less so than it had at first, and so tentatively he slid them back out and pushed them into where they'd been before. 

It felt okay. Not as nice as he'd been feeling before with just one finger but the burning feeling was fading quickly so he tried pushing in further until his fingers were about halfway in. 

That made the burn come back, but it still wasn't bad enough that he wanted to take them out. The amount of lube he'd used was probably helping a lot, though the squelching noise his hole made with each movement had his ears burning. It sounded so loud in his quiet room, and while he knew there was no way it could be heard from outside his door he found himself praying that Chan would stay in his room whole night, or at least until he was done with this. 

He pushed in a little more, the hand on his cock coming to a halt as he focused on his fingers. His thighs were twitching closed again and he bit his bottom lip between his teeth at the slight sting. Just like last time he breathed in and out, sliding the two fingers the rest of the way in. 

He made a whimpering noise as his thighs fully closed and he let them stay that way, letting his fingers sit still inside himself while he stared at the ceiling and palmed himself absent-mindedly. His hole felt even tighter stretched around two fingers instead of one and his walls fluttered around him, clenching down periodically as his thighs continued to twitch. 

He wanted to try finding his prostate now that he'd successfully taken two fingers. He didn't think it would be that hard, since he'd become an expert at finding his boyfriends' prostates, so when the sting from his fingers subsided a little more he tried moving them as he opened his legs again, searching for that special spot and all the while playing with his dick to keep himself aroused. 

It turned out that finding his own prostate was a little more difficult than finding someone else's, so it took him a minute or so of prodding around, but he knew he'd found it when the pads of his fingers passed over a smooth and rubbery section, causing him to jolt and let out a louder whimper than he'd intended. It was like he could feel it in his whole body, like that one little gland connected all parts of him from his toes to his fingers, and the second pass over it had his dick jumping in his hand. 

He exhaled sharply, and for some reason it dawned on him at that moment that he'd successfully fingered himself. Sure, he hadn't come yet, but he'd fit two fingers in with minimal pain and he'd found his prostate and it felt good. 

Really good.

He pressed into it again and shuddered, some kind of keening noise coming out of him that he wasn't sure he'd ever made before. His hand sped up on his dick, and he wasn't sure if he just hadn't noticed that he was close to coming or if it had just come about so quickly, but all of a sudden he found himself nearly out of breath, his hips trying to roll up to his fingers to get more friction against his prostate. 

He tried thrusting them in and out and made that keening noise again as he brushed his prostate with each move. His wrist was getting a bit sore from the angle he needed to hold his hand at to hit it, but he was too desperate right now to care. 

He licked a fat stripe up his other palm in order to make the glide ever easier against his cock but he was leaking enough pre-cum that it almost didn't matter. His bottom lip felt close to splitting from how hard he was biting down on it and he was sure he was being louder than he meant to be, but he hoped that Chan had headphones on and was working on some music. Or at least he hoped the leader wouldn't try to come in here if he did hear, especially because Jeongin had asked to be alone tonight. 

He was still poking and prodding at his prostate with each thrust even though his wrist was really starting to ache now, but he was close so he kept going. There was a tightness in his gut and a warmth throughout his whole body that just kept spreading until he was breathing hard, legs twitching occasionally as his orgasm rapidly approached. 

A couple more good thrusts in with his fingers and it washed over him, causing his back to arch off the bed a little as his hips continued to push down onto his digits. He tried to muffle his moan the best he could be turning sideways and stuffing his face into the bed as his dick jerked in his grip, and his legs curled up and squeezed together, trapping his hand between them.

It was the strongest orgasm he'd had in a long time, and it seemed to go on for much longer than usual as he continued to stroke his fingers gingerly over his prostate even after he'd let go of his dick. Eventually his body jerked, though, finally starting to feel overstimulated and he quickly pulled out, his hand flopping down as his hole twitched from being empty. 

Maybe it was just in his head, but he thought he could feel the air of the room brushing against his insides, even though he knew there was no way he was gaping from just two fingers. 

He laid there for a while, fingers still wet from the lube and legs partly spread and trembling as his breathing slowly went back to normal. 

He still felt tingly, and his hole felt a little weird, like he was extra aware of it, but it wasn't necessarily a bad feeling. His ears strained for any sound in the apartment but it was still quiet, Chan most likely still in his room. 

He was proud of himself, he realized. He'd tried something new which he'd been nervous about, but it had turned out well. Really well, actually.

The problem was that now he wanted more. If he could feel that good from two fingers, how would three feel? How would being actually fucked feel? He found himself wanting to know. 

In order to be fucked, though, he would have to ask one of his boyfriends to do it, and the thought still made him nervous. He knew none of them would judge him, of course, and all of them would probably—definitely—be willing to fuck him if he asked, but it just sounded so humiliating. 

He'd been nothing but a strict top this whole time so asking them to switch it up felt…taboo. Abnormal, and embarrassing. He tried to remind himself that they tried new things all the time. New positions, new toys, new role-plays. So maybe him asking to try bottoming wouldn't be too earth shattering? 

He would have to think hard about who to ask. 

Not tonight, though, he decided. For now he wanted to put it out of his mind, take a shower and maybe go out to grab a snack before he settled into bed to watch some videos before going to sleep. He was happy with how tonight had gone, and he wanted to keep it that way by not worrying himself about possible future next steps. 

~~~

The next day he felt like everyone could tell what he'd done. Was that possible? Could his boyfriends tell that he'd fingered himself last night and was no longer a bottom-virgin? Or maybe he would still be a bottom-virgin until he was actually fucked by someone. He could hear Chan in his ear, telling him that virginity was some stupid social concept and to not give it so much power over him, so he tried not to think too hard about it and told himself firmly that there was no way everyone he encountered could tell that he'd had his fingers up his ass the night before. 

It was eating at him, though. He felt like he needed to tell someone, needed to talk about it and maybe even ask for help taking it even further. He'd been mulling his options over in his head the whole day, trying to decide who to approach. 

Chan had been the first person to cross his mind. He was their leader, their oldest, and had always stressed that they could come to him for absolutely anything and he would help them without judgment. But he quickly decided that going to Chan felt too…grand. 

And he knew he would mean well but he could see him making a big deal out of it, maybe even trying to make some kind of group meeting to announce that Jeongin wanted to try something new, and he wanted to keep this low key. Low stakes, no pressure. 

He'd quickly ruled out the other older members as well. While he loved being babied and doted on in certain situations this wasn't quite one of them, at least not the way the older members would probably treat him if he told them he wanted them to fuck him for the first time. He could picture the way Changbin and Minho would coo at him and he knew it would be too much for him, at least for the first time. 

He thought a lot about asking Seungmin to fuck him, for a couple reasons. He was the closest in age to him, he was probably the least likely to overreact to his asking and make a huge, embarrassing deal out of it, and Seungmin was his boyfriend that topped the least, so part of him thought that it would be less pressure on him if both he and Seungmin were doing something they didn't usually did. 

(His dick was also the smallest and he couldn't deny that's part of the reason he considered him, because it would probably hurt the least. Don't tell him that, though.)

He'd almost made up his mind and decided to ask Seungmin, but…he couldn't stop thinking about Felix. About the way he'd been the first to originally take his virginity, about how perfect he'd been for that whole experience. He hadn't made it a huge deal, but he'd still made it such a special experience and he'd been so caring, so patient, so willing to go at Jeongin's pace and do whatever he wanted. He knew he would act the same way if he came to him for this. 

It didn't take him long to make the decision, especially not after Felix texted him in a stroke of good timing and asked if he wanted to come over to his and Seungmin's place for dinner and a movie. He responded back that he would love to and tried to ignore the way he was suddenly feeling nervous again, his hands fiddling with his shirt as he thought about how he would actually go about asking. He wanted to do it without Seungmin in the room, too, so it could just be him and Felix. 

He worried the whole rest of the day about it, but he shouldn't have. Felix welcomed him into their apartment with an arm slung around his shoulder and a quick kiss to his cheek and told him they'd already ordered some take out food which should be arriving in about twenty minutes. 

He could see Seungmin on the living room couch and they waved at each other before he turned back to Felix. He wanted to get this over with so he didn't stress about it the rest of the night and ruin it for himself. 

"Um, Lix hyung," he said lowly so Seungmin wouldn't hear. He wasn't looking in their direction, anyway, but he still felt bad because he didn't like to keep secrets from any of them. He told himself that he would tell the rest of his boyfriends about his whole 'starting to bottom' experience eventually, and that it wasn't really a secret, just something he wasn't making a big deal of. 

"I wanna ask you something, but do you think we could go to your room for a second?"

And of course Felix was an angel, because he didn't look surprised, or concerned, or ask him loudly what he wanted to ask. He just called out to Seungmin that he was gonna show Jeongin something in his room and grabbed his pinky, pulling him down the hallway as Seungmin grunted in acknowledgment. 

"What's up?" He asked as soon as he'd closed his bedroom door and plopped down on the bed, finally looking a little concerned. He couldn't blame him, Jeongin thought, because it wasn't often any of them asked to speak with another in private unless they were resolving some petty argument, because generally they were extremely open with each other. 

"It's nothing serious," Jeongin said first, and he saw Felix's shoulders relax. "Nothing's wrong…I just…" he was stuck. Everything he'd planned out to say earlier today seemed to flee his brain and he stood there with his mouth open, probably looking like an idiot.

Felix reached his hand out to tug on his sleeve and pulled him onto the bed to sit next to him, and then patted his knee reassuringly. "It's okay. You can tell me."

"It's just kinda embarrassing," he mumbled, staring at his own lap. "Not sure where to start."

Felix just shrugged. "Take your time, then. No rush."

"I—you know how I've always been a top for the couple years we've been having sex?" He blurted out, hoping to just get it done with. He risked a glance up at Felix to find him looking mildly confused. 

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Well, I know you guys have asked me a couple times throughout the years if I wanted to try bottoming and I've always said no, so you guys kinda stopped asking which I appreciate. But…I think I wanna try now?"

"Oh—" Felix started, but Jeongin interrupted him.

"I actually already tried. Last night. Um, I fingered myself a little, just to see if I would like it. And I did. So." He stopped awkwardly, and looked up at Felix again.

"Well, that's good, right? That you enjoyed it?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Um. I'm not sure why I've been wanting to try it recently, but it's been on my mind and so I tried it, and I wasn't even really expecting to like it but…I definitely did so now I'm wondering if I would also like it if…?"

He let Felix fill in the blanks himself, too embarrassed to actually say. He shouldn't be, because this was his boyfriend and one of the people he trusted most in the world, but it was still hard to say out loud.

"Are you trying to say you'd like to bottom for one of us?" Felix asked. "You wanna try being fucked?"

"Um, yeah," he said, not quite able to look him in the eye. "I was hoping you would be willing to help me? You know, cause you've helped me before, when I was a virgin and…and you made me feel really good back then so I thought I would ask you to help with this, too."

Felix didn't say anything for a couple seconds, so he glanced up again to find his boyfriend was staring at him with poorly concealed lust. He seemed to shake himself out of it quickly, though, and his eyes turned more fond.

"I would love that," he said. "You really want me to fuck you?"

He nodded. "I mean, I think I want all of you to fuck me eventually, but I want to try with you first. Maybe I won't like it, and that's fine, but I just wanna give it a go."

"But you liked your fingers last night?" Felix asked. "How many did you use?"

"Just two. It was kinda uncomfortable at first but I'd been preparing myself for worse, so…"

"And you used lots of lube?"

"Yes, hyung," he said, feeling silly. "Lots of lube, I promise. I finger you guys all the time, remember?"

"Right, sorry. You definitely know what you're doing, Innie. But you want to try more than fingers now?"

"Yeah," he said. "To see if I'd like it."

"Well, if you liked your fingers it's probably safe to assume you would enjoy getting fucked. But maybe not," Felix shrugged. "I guess we'll find out, and if you don't like it then no big deal."

"Right," he agreed. "No big deal. Thanks for helping me."

"Right, cause there's absolutely nothing in it for me," Felix said seriously. "I definitely won't enjoy getting the chance to fuck you."

Jeongin rolled his eyes, swatting him lightly on the shoulder. "Whatever. C'mon, let's go back to Seungmin, he's probably wondering what we're doing. Oh—can you not let the others know? I promise I'll tell them eventually, just…not until after we do it. I don’t wanna make a huge deal of it."

"Sure," Felix said easily. "I won't say a thing," and he mimed zipping his lips closed. 

They didn't say anything more about it the rest of the night, and both he and Felix acted perfectly normal as the food arrived and they sat down with Seungmin to eat. He knew he'd made the right decision about who to ask, and he was glad that he didn't have to worry about it even more. He was barely worried about the actual event, either, because now Felix would help him and make sure everything went smoothly. He felt like it was out of his hands now, and he was glad. 

Seungmin didn't seem to notice anything was up, either, and held up a steady conversation with them over dinner before they all cleaned up and moved to the couch where Felix started scrolling through different movies to find one that seemed interesting, and Jeongin let himself press slightly up against Seungmin, his head on one of his broad shoulders. 

~~~

A whole week went by before Jeongin and Felix found the opportunity they'd been looking for. Mainly, Jeongin wanted to find a time when Chan would be out of their apartment for a while so he and Felix didn't have to worry about sneaking around or being quiet, because he still felt like keeping things between the two of them for now. 

Since Chan, being the chronic workaholic that he was, worked late at the studio often, it wasn't long before Jeongin got a text from him just before he got home telling him that Chan wanted to spend a couple extra hours in the studio that night and wouldn't be home until around midnight. Part of him wanted to scold his oldest boyfriend and tell him that sleep was important, but he resisted the urge this time and instead texted Felix to ask if they could do it that night. 

Felix responded in record speed, saying he would be there as fast as possible. 

Jeongin sat on his couch while he waited, trying to watch the YouTube video he'd put on but his heart was fluttering in his chest and his belly kept swooping randomly like he was on a roller coaster. He couldn't sit still either, his hands fiddled with the throw blanket next to him and one of his legs kept jittering up and down. 

By the time Felix let himself into the apartment he was a nervous wreck, and his boyfriend noticed immediately. 

"Hey," he said worriedly, coming to sit next to him. "Are you nervous? We don't need to do anything tonight if you're having second thoughts, or just wanna wait a bit longer."

"No, I wanna do it," Jeongin said firmly. "I dunno why I'm so nervous, but I definitely want to try. I trust you."

"It's normal to be nervous," Felix told him. "You're trying something new, that's always scary. But we'll go slow, okay? And we can stop anytime, don't worry about disappointing me or anything. I just want you to be comfortable and go at your own pace."

Jeongin nodded, feeling reassured. He knew he was being silly, and while the knowledge of that didn't do too much to calm him down, he knew Felix would make this good for him, and he knew nothing would happen that he didn't want, so when Felix asked him if he wanted to move into his room he stood up without hesitation. 

Felix took charge from the moment they were in his room, gently pushing him over to the bed and coaxing him to sit up at the headboard while he bent down to grab the lube from under his bed. Jeongin watched him climb up on the bed and situate himself next to his legs. 

"You wanna take these off?" Felix asked him, gesturing to his pants. "Or d'you wanna kiss me first?"

"Take them off," Jeongin said, pushing his pants and underwear down in one go and tossing them off the bed. "And then kiss you."

He pulled on Felix's shirt to get him closer and Felix complied, leaning his head forward until their lips could connect softly. Jeongin felt himself relax, which was probably what Felix was aiming for. It was impossible for him to be tensed up and stressed while kissing one of his boyfriends, and this was no exception. Felix had brought his hands up to graze against his sides, pulling his shirt up slightly so he could brush against Jeongin's bare skin.

He shivered as fingers tickled his ribcage as Felix sucked on his bottom lip and swiped his tongue across it, asking for entry which he gladly gave. 

He moaned quietly into Felix's mouth as the fingers on his ribs pushed his shirt up even higher and moved to press into his chest, cupping his pecs and swiping his thumbs across his nipples. 

"These are sensitive, aren't they," Felix murmured, thumbing over his pebbled nipples again as Jeongin whimpered. Their lips detached with a thin string of spit connecting them as Felix moved down to his neck, kissing at his pulse. 

His nipples had always been sensitive and he could feel himself starting to get hard already, his dick taking interest in the way Felix's fingers were still playing with him. One hand moved down at some point to scratch its nails lightly across his stomach and he shuddered, because that had always been another sensitive part of his body. 

Eventually Felix's hand made it down to where a neat patch of pubic hair sat on top of his dick, and his fingers traced through the hair on their way to his dick, where he finally wrapped a hand around him.

Jeongin's hips jerked slightly at the touch, already feeling worked up as Felix kissed down his throat until he was scraping his teeth against the column of it. 

Felix kept his touches light, his warm hand dragging up his cock slowly, a little awkwardly done because it was dry, but Jeongin still liked it. His dick bobbed a little in Felix's small fingers and he moaned airily as Felix swiped his thumb over the tip. 

Felix sat up suddenly, his hand falling off Jeongin's dick and his lips detaching from his neck. He grunted in protest, hands coming out to try and pull him back down, but Felix pushed them away gently. 

"You want me to get a finger in you, baby?" Felix asked, caressing the soft skin of his inner thighs but not parting them. "Or we can kiss a little more." 

"No, we can start," Jeongin said, swallowing dryly. "Go slow?"

"Of course," Felix said. "Were you sore at all after you fingered yourself?"

"Not really," he said. "Felt a little weird in the morning but nothing too noticeable, and it went away pretty quick."

"That's good." Felix was opening up the lube bottle, and Jeongin parted his legs bravely before it could be done for him. Just like last night he felt incredibly exposed and vulnerable with his hole on display, except this time there was someone there to see it. 

Not that Felix had never seen his asshole before, but he'd definitely never seen it so clearly, so on display, and not with the intention of entering it.

Felix looked completely unphased, though, which made Jeongin feel a lot better. He tried to keep in mind that he'd seen each one of his boyfriends in this position hundreds of times and he'd never thought anything negative about them. In fact, the sight of their holes twitching and on display normally turned him on greatly, so he hoped Felix was feeling the same way even if he was doing a good job at hiding his own lust. 

"Can I touch you here, Innie?" Felix asked, looking between his parted legs and hovering his hand between them. One finger had been slicked up with what was probably an excess amount of lube, even more than he'd used last night, but he thought it was sweet. Even though he would definitely be a sticky mess by the end of this. 

"Yeah," Jeongin said, and Felix looked him in the eyes for a second as if making sure he didn't look too nervous. He must've decided that Jeongin looked ready, though, because his lubed up finger pressed between his ass cheeks to rest on his hole.

It was a little unnerving when it wasn't his own finger. When he wasn't the one controlling the digit and he knew he couldn't predict Felix's next movement, even though he knew his boyfriend wouldn't do anything drastic with asking him first. 

His hole clenched at the slight pressure that Felix was putting on it, but he could tell he wasn't trying to push in yet. It almost felt like his hole was kissing Felix’s finger with the way it twitched against it.

"Feel okay?" Felix asked neutrally. 

"Feels good," he said, and it was true. Maybe it was a little weird to have someone else's finger against his asshole but it didn't feel bad, and as Felix rubbed the tip of his finger across his hole he let out a soft sigh of appreciation. 

His dick wasn't softening, he realized. So he was already doing better at this if his hole being touched didn't make his dick flag. He almost wanted to touch himself but decided against it, wanting to give Felix his full attention. 

"You can push in," he told him as Felix continued to rub slowly over his hole. It felt good, but he knew it could feel better and he wanted to get on with it. 

Felix didn't question him or ask if he was sure, just applied a bit more pressure on his rim until the tip of his finger slid inside, and Jeongin found himself clenching down tightly on it.

"Relax, baby," Felix said, his free hand running up and down his thigh in a soothing gesture. "Does it still feel okay?"

"Mhm," he said. The slight uncomfortable feeling was back, but he couldn't actually tell if it hurt or not. He thought it was just the strange feeling of having something inside of him when this was only the second time he'd experienced that. "Feels okay."

"Want me to go in more?"

He nodded. "Just a little. Like halfway in?"

"Sure," Felix said, wiggling his finger in deeper until it was halfway in, and Jeongin relaxed the best he could just like he'd been told. Felix's fingers were smaller than his, and he felt like he could already tell the difference. 

Felix's dick, however, wasn't super long—probably average in length—but it was thicker than Jeongin's, and he knew he would probably want to take three fingers before attempting to fit Felix's cock inside him. It would definitely be more than he took last night, but he was hoping it wouldn't be too difficult. 

"Still good?"

"Yeah. Just keep it there—well, you can go in and out a bit."

Felix listened to him, taking his finger out almost all the way and sliding it back in halfway several times, his eyes trained on Jeongin's face like he was searching for any sign of distress.

Jeongin was liking this, though. There wasn't any pain, and he felt like he was mostly used to having something inside him again and now that he was adapting to the feeling it felt a little surreal, but in a good way. 

His Felix hyung was inside him. He could feel him in his insides and it was weird but also good. It felt kinda nice. Felix was stroking along his walls gently as he pushed his fingers in and out, almost like he was exploring him. 

He was still hard, but still resisting the urge to touch himself. Part of him wondered if he'd be able to come untouched, but he would probably leave that for another day. He had a feeling he would want to distract himself by touching his dick once they progressed to him actually taking a dick. 

"You can go all the way in," he said after a bit. He'd almost forgotten that Felix was still only pushing his finger in halfway just like he'd asked for, but he was definitely ready for more. 

Once again, Felix listened to him right away and on his next thrust he slowed his finger down a little but slid it all the way in. Again, his fingers were shorter than Jeongin's so it didn't feel like too much more and he took it easily.

He cringed at the squelch of lube that rang out as Felix's knuckle brushed against his rim, and the sound only continued as the finger was thrust in and out. 

Just like last night, his thighs were starting to close in on themselves, but unlike last night there was a person in between them which prevented that from happening. 

"Feels good," he told Felix, before his boyfriend could ask. 

Felix was doing this thing with his finger where he curled it slightly upwards and dragged it across his walls with each thrust, and the sensation had him squirming a little bit, not sure what to do with himself. 

"Lix hyung," he mumbled, hips twitching up into his touch. "I like that."

"Yeah, baby?"

"Mmh," he nodded, fingers twisting in the bedsheets to give them something to do. He kept making little noises, soft grunts and moans as Felix kept thrusting into him gently. His dick was fully hard and even starting to leak a small amount of pre-cum. 

"Just let me know if you want a second. No rush, though."

Felix really was an angel on earth. He still had his pants on but Jeongin could see that he was tenting them, obviously hard and he probably had been this whole time, but it would still be a while until he got his dick wet and even then Jeongin knew he'd be going slow, controlling himself so it didn't hurt. 

"We can try a second one," he said meekly. "The second one hurt just a little bit last night, though…"

Felix nodded. "That's normal, baby. I'll go nice and slow, but tell me if it's too much and I'll pull out."

He took the first finger out so he could add more lube, pouring on an excessive amount again that made Jeongin cringe, because he knew it would be super noisy but hopefully it also lessened the burn.

Felix pressed the tips of his fingers against his rim and glanced back up at Jeongin, waiting for his nod of approval before he pushed them in. 

Jeongin grunted slightly at the pressure and the burn that soon accompanied it. 

"Relax your muscles," Felix told him, his hand rubbing his thigh again. "That'll make it a lot easier."

It was hard, because his body instinctively wanted to tense up against the intrusion and the slight pain, but he focused on Felix's hand on him and forced himself to relax, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. 

"Good boy, Innie," Felix said, and he whimpered. 

"You like that? Wanna be my good boy tonight?"

He nodded eagerly, and his body tried to tense up again as Felix's fingers shifted slightly inside of him, but he quickly relaxed again. 

"Good," Felix said again. "I'm gonna push in a bit more, okay?"

Once again he waited for Jeongin to nod before he moved, thrusting his fingers in another inch or so. Jeongin whimpered at the burn, his fingers twisting in the sheets. He kinda wanted to reach up for Felix and hold him instead, but with the way his boyfriend was sitting between his legs he didn't think he could reach him.

"Does it hurt, Innie?"

"A little," he said. "More uncomfortable than painful."

Felix hummed. "That's good, baby." 

He started thrusting his fingers in and out, but doing what he'd done before by only pushing them in halfway so Jeongin could adjust to them a bit more. He was keeping his fingers pressed together, too. Not scissoring them at all like he would have to eventually.

The uncomfortable feeling from the stretch ebbed away quickly and soon Felix was thrusting his fingers all the way in, still doing that curved thing with the tips of them that was starting to drive him a little insane. It was cool, because he did that with his own fingers when he had sex with the others, and he knew it felt good but now he knew exactly what it felt like. 

"You seem to like this a lot," Felix teased as Jeongin tried to stifle a moan.

"'S good," he defended. "You know it's good." 

"Mm, I do," Felix agreed. "I like it a lot when you finger me, Jeonginnie. And I really like it when you play with my prostate. Did you find yours when you did this to yourself?"

"Yeah," he said shakily. "Um. It was nice."

"Just 'nice'?" Felix smiled. "I bet it felt better than that. You want me to find it?"

He nodded, hips pushing out into Felix in excitement. "Please?"

"Eager," Felix smiled, but his fingers found his prostate almost right away and he jolted, a strangled noise escaping his lips as Felix pressed against his spot.

"There we go," Felix said, a smirk on his face. "That's the good spot, isn't it, Innie?"

He moaned as Felix jabbed his prostate again. It somehow felt even better than it had last week. The angle was definitely better, and Felix was certainly skilled with his fingers as he poked and prodded at his walls, brushing against his prostate with every other thrust. 

His hips were threatening to come off the bed, trying to get closer to his boyfriend and the pleasure. He was clenching his ass down hard, as if scared that Felix were going to pull out and leave him empty as he squirmed, knuckles going white from how hard he was gripping the bed sheets.

Felix still had a smirk on his face, clearly enjoying the show. 

"Innie-yah," he said after a minute or so, when Jeongin was just starting to notice how neglected his dick had been this whole time. His fingers twitched with the urge to reach out and touch it. "Do you wanna come, baby?" 

His mind blanked. Did he? 

He wanted to be fucked, that was the goal of tonight. But he could tell he wasn't far from an orgasm and he felt so good, and he also wasn't thinking super clearly so he was struggling to come up with an answer. 

"Here's what I'm thinking," Felix said, slowing his fingers down a little. Jeongin whined in protest, but Felix shushed him. "It's okay, baby. Just listen to what I'm suggesting for a second. I think you should come now, and then I think we should see how sensitive you feel afterwards. If you're up to it we can continue right away and I'll give you a third finger and then my dick, but if you're too sensitive we'll take a little break and plug you up so you stay nice and stretched out for me. What do you think?"

He whined again, hips trying to grind down. 

"Hey, were you listening to me, Jeongin-ah? You wanna come now and see how you feel about continuing right away? I promise I'll still fuck you tonight even if we take a little break."

Jeongin nodded, fine with what anything Felix suggested right now as long as he got to come. He wanted to touch his dick so badly and when Felix resumed fucking his fingers into him at a faster pace he caved, untangling one hand from the sheets and using it to grip himself tight, crying out at how good it felt. 

"There you go, baby," Felix crooned. "Good boy, Innie, make yourself feel good."

Jeongin felt like he was going a little crazy as his breaths picked up until he was taking in short bursts of air, his eyes wide as he squirmed and writhed from just two fingers pressing deliciously against his sweet spot while his own hand fisted himself roughly. It hurt a little from how rough he was being with himself but he didn't care because he was hurtling towards his orgasm and when he moaned he could taste it on his tongue. 

"Let go, Jeonginnie, come on," Felix encouraged him. "You look so pretty when you come, I wanna see it. Come on, now."

He curled his fingers meanly, dragging the pads of them across his prostate and Jeongin cried out, biting down on his bottom lip hard as he gasped and tightened his grip on his dick even more until tears were threatening to brim at his eyes from how intense it all felt. 

He just needed something to push him over the edge and his other hand flew up to his chest, kneading at his right pec and scrambling to get his nipple between his fingers to tug at it. 

He moaned, body twitching as his orgasm flooded through him, elevated by the three points of stimulation on his body as he continued to pull on his nipple and his dick at the same time. 

"Good boy, Jeonginnie," Felix was saying, milking his orgasm with steady drags along his prostate until Jeongin's toes were curling with the pleasure of it, his eyes threatening to roll back. 

His body slumped once his orgasm started to fade, though there was still a tingling sensation in his toes and fingers, and his body almost felt like it was buzzing, like there was a current inside of him. 

Eventually, though, the pleasure from having Felix's fingers inside of him turned to a slight stinging sensation and he whined the next time they brushed over his prostate, thighs trying to curl closed.

"Too much?" Felix asked, already pulling them out. 

"'S a lot," Jeongin agreed. "Try again in just a minute, though? I want you to fuck me."

"Patience, baby," Felix told him. "It'll happen tonight if you want it to. We might just have to take a little break to wait for your sensitivity to go down. I don't want it to be uncomfortable for you. 

Jeongin huffed, but after a minute or two went by he asked Felix to try again, and his boyfriend listened to him.

Immediately, though, he could tell he still wasn't ready. 

He was so sensitive, so much that as Felix slid his fingers inside he had to grit his teeth at how intense it was, and his body locked up, his face scrunching in discomfort as his legs clamped closed.

"Yeah, let's wait a while," Felix said before Jeongin could even tell him to stop. "It's okay, baby, it probably won't take long. And like I said, you can wear a plug so we won't lose any progress. Do you have any in here?"

He did, actually. A couple that he kept to use on his boyfriends if the need or want ever appeared, but when he directed Felix to pull out the box under his bed which kept his modest collection of sex toys, he realized that they were all too big for what he needed right now.

"Don't worry," Felix said as his face fell. "I came prepared because I thought you might not have one. Can I go grab my bag from the living room?"

"You brought a butt plug over in your bag?" Jeongin asked incredulously. "That's crazy, Lix."

Felix just shrugged. "I thought we might need one, and I was right, wasn't I?"

He left and came back with a much more appropriately sized plug.

"Sit up a little," Felix told him. "Against the headboard, there you go. I'll just put it in and we can watch some videos for a bit, okay?"

"Won't this feel bad?" Jeongin asked nervously, but he sat up as Felix instructed. "If I'm so sensitive?"

"I think you'll be okay if you don't move around too much," Felix told him. "That's why I asked you to sit up, first. If it's too much we can take it out, though. It's not like you'll tighten up that much, anyway."

He waited for Jeongin to give him the go ahead before he lubed up the plug sufficiently and then pressed it against his rim. It was colder than his or Felix's fingers had been, but he took a deep breath and relaxed himself as it went in. 

He winced at first as the metal slid against his sensitive walls, but once it popped in and he sat still for a couple seconds he found that it wasn't that bad. Just like Felix had said, it was a bit uncomfortable when he shifted because it rubbed up against him, but he was already laying back on the bed and once Felix snuggled in next to him he had no desire to move. He actually found that he could almost entirely ignore the presence of the plug, especially once Felix started playing a video on his phone. 

Twenty five minutes later he started getting restless. The plug didn't bother him anymore even when he shifted around, and he'd even found himself clenching down on it unconsciously.

"Lix hyung," he murmured when their next video ended. "Can we try again now?"

He'd been feeling a little guilty because he'd been so lost in himself and his own pleasure that he'd completely forgotten that Felix hadn't come yet, nor even gotten out of his pants during this whole thing. He'd never mentioned it, though, and Jeongin couldn't see a bulge in his pants anymore so he must've softened while they'd been laying down. He wished he'd remembered in time to offer him some help but now he was just hoping they could get back to the whole reason they were here: him getting fucked, which would hopefully feel really good for Felix as well. 

Felix tossed his phone to the side and had him lay down completely this time, though now he had Jeongin bend his knees and pull them up near his chest before letting them lay to the side. He was even more spread out this way, and he still found it to be pretty embarrassing, but once again Felix didn't seem phased by it. He grabbed the lube from where it had been tossed to the side and brought it closer before peering between his legs and grasping the base of the plug with one hand.

"Gonna take this out," he warned before he pulled on it. 

It slipped out easily but Jeongin still gasped at the sensation. It felt kinda wrong to be empty now, and he found himself almost desperate for Felix to fill him back up with his fingers. 

"Hyung," he mumbled, "Feels weird."

"To be empty?" Felix asked, and he giggled. "Yeah, I know what that feels like, baby. I'll fill you up, though, don't worry your pretty little head about it."

And he wasn't lying, because not two seconds later there were two fingers prodding at his hole and pressing inside. The plug had done a good job of keeping him open because the slide in was easy and Jeongin hummed in content as he was filled again. He couldn't believe he hadn't tried this before.

"There you go," Felix said as he relaxed. "I'll get you stretched open a bit more and then we'll see if you're ready for a third."

"And then you'll fuck me?" Jeongin asked, eyes wide.

"Yep," Felix assured me. "We'll get there, baby, don't worry. You just gotta be patient for a bit more."

He nodded, watching between his legs as Felix thrusted his fingers in and out and slowly started to separate them. He made a little sound at the feeling, not painful but more pressure was applied to his walls as Felix started stretching him out. 

His boyfriend's hand was on his thigh again, rubbing it soothingly and he focused on that instead of the way his fingers were scissoring, spreading just a little bit further each time.

He grunted when the slight burning sensation came back, his legs twitching a little, and Felix took note of it. 

"Does it hurt, Innie?"

"Burns a little," he admitted. "Not too bad."

But Felix still brought his fingers back together a little until it was comfortable again. "I'll go a little slower," he said, and part of Jeongin wanted to protest but he knew Felix knew what he was doing.

"I can't believe you can open yourself up in just a few minutes," he said. This felt like it had taken forever and he still hadn't even taken three fingers, let alone a dick. But Felix could prep himself in under five minutes when he really wanted to, though he did tell Jeongin that the stretch still burned a little. He just enjoyed that. 

Jeongin didn't think he liked the burning sensation. Not yet, at least. Maybe he would like it in the future if he kept bottoming (he was pretty sure he would) but for now he wanted it to be the least painful as possible, so he kept his mouth shut as Felix's fingers became a little more cautious, his eyes watching his face carefully to watch for any signs of pain as he continued to stretch him open. 

It took several more minutes of him being obediently patient until Felix mentioned trying a third. He could spread his fingers inside of him comfortably now, and Jeongin's hips had started to make small movements, pushing down subtly as his dick filled up a little. 

"Do you feel ready for a third, Innie? We can stay like this for a while, too."

"No—want another."

He saw the ghost of a smile on Felix's face, and he knew why. Even to himself he could hear how whiny it sounded, how much he sounded like the others when they were impatient and wanted to get fucked. He blushed a deep red but Felix didn't comment on his tone, thankfully. 

He carefully held himself back from whining again when Felix pulled his fingers out to add more lube, and he watched them in slight apprehension. Two fingers was all he'd taken last week, and even though his hand was bigger than Felix's, three fingers was still more than two and he hoped he could take it. The good thing was that Felix's dick should be pretty easy to handle if he could take three fingers comfortably, and he knew his boyfriend would make it good for him.

"Ready?" Felix asked as he lined his fingers up. "Remember, just tell me if it hurts at all."

"It'll be fine," he said, trying to convince himself. "Go on."

At first, his hole didn't let them in. There was a large pressure between his legs and he could feel the tips pressing against his rim, but they failed to go in for several seconds. 

"Relax, Jeonginnie," Felix reminded him, and he made an effort to relax his whole body. "Just let me in, you can do it—there we go."

They popped inside, and Jeongin whimpered quietly at the stretch. His thighs drifted closer together, brushing up against Felix's sides and he took a deep breath in before exhaling out through his mouth.

"It's okay," he said, mostly to himself but also because Felix was about to ask. "Not too bad."

And it was true. He could definitely feel the additional stretch, but Felix had done a wonderful job at preparing him with two fingers, so while there was an increased pressure on his walls and a small sting, it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. 

"I'm just gonna keep it like this for a bit, honey," Felix told him, thrusting his fingers in shallowly, just the tips. "You're doing so good, I'm really impressed."

He preened under the praise, his heart skipping a beat. 

Felix pushed in a little deeper until he started to struggle, hips shifting in discomfort until Felix retreated. 

"This will take a little bit," Felix told him. "But that's okay, baby. Just bear with me."

He kept thrusting his fingers in, going a little deeper every so often but only by a minimal amount until Jeongin was getting antsy, but he knew this was for the best. He didn't want it to hurt and Felix was making sure of that. 

"So good, baby," Felix kept telling him, and he even added more lube at some point which only made the squelching sound louder. It had his ears burning but it was worth it once Felix was finally able to wiggle his fingers in all the way.

"Perfect, Innie," he said. "Such a good boy for me. Does it feel okay?"

"'S tight, hyung," he said, wiggling his hips as he tried to adjust to it. His hole was fluttering weakly and gripping Felix's fingers tightly but he tried his very best to relax. He felt extremely stretched open and almost couldn’t believe he wasn’t splitting in two, because he hadn’t imagined his hole was capable of being this open. 

"Hyung, will you touch me?" He asked, and then rushed to elaborate. "My dick, I mean. Please?"

Felix did just that, wrapping his small fingers around his dick and Jeongin hummed in content. The warm touch was enough to partly take his mind off the burn of the stretch, especially when Felix started to stroke him.

His movements were slow and languid, clearly not trying to work him up towards an orgasm but just to make him feel good. He closed his eyes, focusing on his dick while Felix started to slowly thrust his fingers in and out again until the slide was easier, less uncomfortable. Until he felt like he could breathe a little easier.

"Doing okay?" Felix asked, still dragging his hand up his cock in lazy strokes. "You look so beautiful like this, Innie."

"Feels better, hyung," he said truthfully. "You're really good at this, you know." 

"Aw, thanks. I just want this to be good for you, Jeonginnie."

"It's really good," he said. "I was nervous, cause I thought it was gonna hurt a lot, but it hasn't been bad at all."

"We've just gotta go slow," Felix said, nodding. "If you're relaxed, and aroused, and we're going slow it shouldn't hurt. Just a little uncomfortable at times, yeah?"

He nodded. "'S not uncomfortable anymore, though," he said. Felix had been thrusting his three fingers in all the way for a couple minutes now and the slight sting of the stretch had ebbed away until it was pleasurable again, his fingers starting to twist into the sheets like they had before. "Do you think I'm ready for you dick yet?"

"I think you are," Felix nodded, and Jeongin felt his tummy flutter. "You feel ready?"

"Mhm. Want you to fuck me, hyung. Please?"

"Well, I can't say no since you asked so politely. Gonna give you my cock, baby, don't worry."

He couldn't help the pitiful whine that escaped him when Felix pulled out, leaving him empty when he'd just been so full. Felix shushed him, one hand still caressing his thigh while the other finally shimmied his pants off, releasing his hard dick from his underwear. He pulled his shirt off, too, getting fully naked which Jeongin greatly appreciated. He'd been getting tired of being the only one undressed. 

"Spread these a little more for me, perfect," Felix said, parting his legs to make more room in between them. Jeongin was staring at his dick, trying to picture it inside him. It looked bigger all of a sudden, bigger than three fingers and he gulped. He trusted Felix to know when he was ready, though, and knew his boyfriend wouldn't be fucking him yet if he thought he needed more prep. 

It looked even bigger when Felix shifted forward so he could line himself up, and Jeongin stilled as the head bumped against his rim.

Suddenly, everything felt a bit more real. He was actually doing this, actually going to get fucked after he'd been an exclusive top his whole life and told everyone that's all he would ever be. He still couldn't really believe he'd gotten himself into this. 

Felix kept his tip pressed against him, but he wasn't making any move to push in. Instead, he was just looking at him.

"You can still back out," he said, maybe sensing the complicated emotions that were flying through his mind. "I could just jerk you off, or you could fuck me, or we could just forget all about it and keep watching those videos. Your choice, Jeonginnie."

"No, 'm not backing out," he said quickly. "Just…can't believe I'm actually doing this."

"You're sure you still want to? I won't think any less of you if you've changed your mind."

"I haven't," he insisted. "I really want you to fuck me. Please, Felix hyung?"

"Okay. I'm gonna push in, then."

He waited for Jeongin to nod at him before his hips moved forward, the head of his cock pushing against his hole with enough force that it slipped inside.

Jeongin tensed up before quickly forcing himself to relax, but the pain he'd been preparing for didn't come. It was…a lot of pressure. He could feel his walls being pushed apart by Felix's dick but he was stretched enough that it didn't feel too much different from the fingers. 

What did feel different was the way Felix was hot inside of him, and twitching slightly, clearly very turned on. His dick felt…firmer? He was clearly rock hard, harder and more unmoveable.

He looked up at his face, at the way his brows were scrunched together and he knew this must feel heavenly to Felix, especially after he'd been hard for so long without being touched at all. 

His control was impeccable, though. He didn't push in any further, leaving just his tip inside for Jeongin to adjust to, but he was already wanting more. 

"Keep going," he said, one hand reaching out to grab Felix's thigh. "Hyung, it doesn't hurt at all."

"Good, baby," Felix said, and he gave him another inch or so. "Your hole looks so pretty stretched out like this." And he brought a hand down to rub lightly at his rim where it was stretched out. Jeongin shuddered at the touch and tried to bat his hand away.

"Hyung," he complained, embarrassed. He didn't know if he could handle getting his hole called pretty, but it was making his stomach do somersaults for some reason.

"It's the truth," Felix said, but he let his hand be pushed away and rocked his hips forward a little more. "So pretty, my Jeonginnie. Does it feel good?"

It did. It felt really good, actually. The drag of Felix's cock against his walls had him feeling out of breath already, if Felix hadn't moved a hand to his hip he'd probably be lifting them off the bed to get closer to him. 

He didn't even give Felix an answer to his question, because his boyfriend pushed in even further and he gasped before some kind of strangled moan got pushed out of his throat. 

Felix was smirking at him, but he didn't say anything, just rubbed his thumb over his hipbone lovingly. His hips pulled back, taking his cock with him, before he slid forward again, fucking into him shallowly.

Jeongin felt like the air was punched out of him, and his hand clutched tightly to Felix's thigh as he repeated the motion. His brows were still scrunched together like he was restraining himself, but his movements were calm and in control as he began to fuck in and out, pushing in a little deeper each time. 

Jeongin was moaning. The drag against his walls felt amazing and he was even beginning to appreciate the stretch. Maybe he really would get to the point eventually where he craved the burn of it.

"Lix hyung," he whined, before moaning again as Felix thrusted in. Whatever he wanted to say next got lost as Felix pushed the rest of the way in until his pelvis was pressed to his ass, and his dick brushed up against his prostate. 

He saw stars, and made a high keening noise in his throat as his hips tried to buck up. Felix hadn't touched his prostate since his first orgasm and he'd nearly forgotten how good it felt. This was amazing. 

Felix had said something to him, but he hadn't been paying attention.

"What?"

"I said you feel so good, Innie," Felix said. He sounded like his teeth were gritted. "So tight, fuck, baby. You're so perfect."

He whimpered as Felix thrust in again, hitting his prostate on the way. His chest felt tight and his head tipped back until he had to bring his eyes down to keep looking at his boyfriend. He felt so full, too, more than he'd felt with the fingers. The thought that his boyfriend's dick was inside him had his head spinning, his mind going blank with pleasure. 

He could hear himself letting out a spew of pathetic whimpers and moans, feeling overwhelmed already but in the best way possible. His chest was rising up and down as if he were the one doing all the work even though he was just laying down and taking it. 

In the back of his mind he thought about how he'd noticed several of his boyfriends got more vocal when they bottomed, and he supposed he could add himself to that list because he seemed incapable of shutting up for some reason. He knew Felix wouldn't judge him, though. In fact, his boyfriend seemed to be enjoying it. 

His speed had gradually picked up, almost like he couldn't help himself, but Jeongin was loving it. He was clutching onto his leg for what felt like dear life as his chest heaved, stomach fluttering non stop each time Felix pressed against his prostate and his eyes threatened to roll back. 

Suddenly Felix leaned forward, grabbing one of Jeongin's legs and taking it with him so it was bent towards his chest, and his moan choked off as his eyes flew open.

The new angle had Felix pushing in even deeper than before, and he swore he could feel him in his stomach even though he knew he wasn't that long. 

"Felix," he whined, forgetting the honorific in his desperation but he knew Felix didn't care. 

"Good boy," Felix was panting. "Good boy, Jeonginnie, you're taking me so well. I'm not gonna last too long, baby, but you'll come with me, right?"

He nodded frantically, and Felix grabbed his hand, bringing it down to his own dick.

"Want you to touch yourself, Ayen. Make yourself feel good while I fuck you, okay? Good boy."

He curled his shaking fingers around himself, and let out the loudest moan of the night. One that Chan surely would have heard if he were home. 

"Lix," he sniffled. He almost felt numb, but also like he was feeling more than he'd ever felt in his life, and the contrast had his head spinning, overwhelmed. He squeezed tightly around his dick and shuddered violently from the dual sensations, 

"Fuck, baby, I'm gonna lose it," Felix strained, his face tight. His hips were jerking up now, like he'd lost control of them and could only thrust up into Jeongin's tight heat to satiate his arousal and chase his own orgasm. "This is insane, Jeonginnie, you're so good."

He preened, fisting himself faster. There was a familiar tightness in his gut, like a coil winding up tighter and tighter until he was short of breath, skin feeling like it was on fire. 

There was a current running through him, getting stronger with each rub of Felix's dick inside him, each squeeze of his hand around his own. It got so strong that he couldn't keep his eyes open so he squeezed them shut, his bottom lip bitten hard between his teeth until he felt close to breaking it open. 

Felix was panting above him, ragged breaths interrupted occasionally by desperate groans as his hips snapped forward erratically. 

He clutched Felix with his free hand, wanting him as close as possible as he got overwhelmed by all the sensations. It was almost scary, how much he was feeling, but having Felix close made it better and if he could he would fuse their skin together so Felix could never pull back from him. 

He could feel his orgasm approaching, could feel the way it was building in power as it prepared to slam into him, and he almost wondered if it would be too much. With Felix close to him now, hovering right above him, he could move his arm to wrap around his neck, clinging onto him as his body tensed up to prepare himself. 

The coil in his gut was wound so tight that he could feel it in his whole body, and when Felix pressed perfectly against his prostate it snapped, and he lurched off the bed with a broken cry. 

His hand was shaking so bad he struggled to jerk himself off, but that didn't stop the way his orgasm crashed through him and lit up every nerve in his body until he felt like he could explode. His body was arched up into Felix, pressed close enough together that they were practically breathing into each other's faces, and Felix leaned forward to smash their lips together just as his dick twitched inside him and the next thing Jeongin knew there was a rush of cum as he was filled up.

He hadn't actually thought about that part before, but he found himself enjoying it. It was kind of a weird sensation, one he hadn't prepared for, but he was still paying more attention to the last part of his orgasm than to the cum being pushed into him. 

Felix was kissing him messily. Both of them were too out of it in the moment to make it a good kiss, but neither of them cared. Jeongin whimpered into his mouth and Felix thrust into him a couple more times, his legs trying to close as oversensitivity set in, but just as it was really about to become too much Felix pulled back, his cock slipping out to leave him empty. 

Jeongin blushed immediately at the first drip of cum that escaped him, and he clenched his ass up tight to prevent the rest from coming out. He quickly found that he was too tired to keep himself tensed up, though, and watched between his legs with dismay as more cum escaped him.

"Don't worry about it, Innie," Felix said. "You've watched cum drip out of me plenty of times, I promise I'm not judging. I can't, really, since I put it in there in the first place."

"Stop," he said weakly, blushing harder. 

"You feel okay?" Felix asked, for what felt like the hundredth time this night. Jeongin appreciated his care, though. "I really meant to ask you if you wanted me to come inside, so I hope you didn't mind. I kinda lost control of myself."

"I don't mind," he said quickly. "I liked it, actually. So don't worry."

"And you liked everything else?"

"Hyung, I just had probably the best orgasm of my life," Jeongin told him honestly. "It's safe to say I liked it a lot. All thanks to you."

"Oh, whatever. I'm just glad I could make it good for you. Do you think you want to try with the others?"

Jeongin nodded slowly. "I do. Eventually. I don't wanna overwhelm myself, but I do want to try with everyone else."

"Take your time," Felix agreed. "No one will rush you, and I agree that you shouldn't overwhelm yourself. I can't promise they won't shit themselves when you tell them I've already fucked you, though."

He'd shifted to lay down next to him on the bed, their sides pressed close together as they tried to slow their breathing. 

"Yeah, that'll be fun," Jeongin agreed. "How should we tell them?"

"Hmm, I don't know. It's up to you, of course, but…I feel like you should do it really casually. Invite everyone over for dinner and mention halfway through that you're ass is still sore cause I fucked you so good."

Jeongin grinned. "Someone would choke on their food, for sure."

"Yeah, maybe do it right after dinner. I guess we don't want any of them to die."

"Preferably not," Jeongin agreed. And then: "Hyung, will you help me clean the cum out of my ass?"

"I would love to, Jeonginnie."

Felix helped him off the bed and into the shower, where sure enough he helped Jeongin clean himself out. It was a bit uncomfortable because he was still sensitive after his orgasm, but Felix was quick and efficient and as soon as he was done he helped wash off the rest of him, batting Jeongin's hands away when he tried to help. 

He also insisted on Jeongin having something to eat and drink once they were all dry, and practically dragged him to the couch where they snuggled up on the couch under the largest, fluffiest blanket in the apartment to keep watching stupid YouTube videos that had them both laughing. 

Jeongin felt…strangely happy. A week ago he'd never had anything in his ass before and was a nervous wreck about fingering himself, but now here he was. No longer a bottom virgin and able to say that the experience had been amazing. 

All thanks to his boyfriend, of course. He couldn't believe how lucky he was, having Felix in his life. And all the others, of course, because he knew if he did end up bottoming with them as well, it would be just as good because each of them loved him so much and would put so much effort into making him comfortable.

He was still glad he'd chosen Felix for his first, though. There was something satisfying about giving him this first when he'd trusted him with his virginity those several years ago. It felt special, something the two of them could share for the rest of their lives, and even though he might not make a big deal of it, he knew Felix felt the same.