Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alex isn’t pouting. 

He isn’t. 

Except he is.

Look, Henry needs this break. After dealing with Alex’s fight with a bike and Bea’s meeting with Elody, he needs the night out. Alex doesn’t begrudge him that. He’s only pouting because… Well, Alex wants to go too. He was supposed to go. Pez had sorted the schedule so they both had the weekend off - unheard of! He’d gotten all ready, made his curls extra bouncy and even put on those tight black jeans of his which Henry can’t help grabbing his ass in. 

Then his phone rang and ruined the plans. 

Not that he blames Luz. Food poisoning is food poisoning and Alex has no doubt that she’d have dragged herself to the apartment if he’d asked. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just one of those things. 

And of course Henry had tried to insist that he should be the one to stay home but Alex wasn’t having that. It’s Pez’s birthday! He might be Alex’s friend and boss but Pez is Henry’s person. There’s over a decade of friendship there and Alex knows how rare it is that they can relive their Oxford days between work and the shelter and parenthood…

So of course Alex doesn’t begrudge them their time together. He’d taken off his jeans and shirt and changed into sweats and a hoodie without complaint. He wanted them to have fun but if he could be there too? Well then that would be better. 

The TV show he’s watching hasn’t really grabbed his attention. Elody’s been tucked up in bed for over an hour so he doesn’t even have her as a distraction. Even the pets have decided to sleep elsewhere this evening, leaving him alone on the sofa.

Rude.

His phone buzzes just as Netflix prompts him to put on the next episode. 

David’s mean dad

22:23 😘😘😘😘😘

Alex frowns at his phone. Perhaps the shots have been broken out early because he hadn’t expected drunk Henry texts until at least 11. He’s about to text back a series of question marks when there’s a knock at the door. 

If this is Henry, Alex decides as he hauls himself off the sofa, he’s going to tell him to turn his cute ass around and go back to the party. He needs this. He needs this space to let off steam. Surely they can be so co-dependant already that they can’t spend one evening apart. 

Surely - 

But neither man in the hallway is Henry. Instead, grinning and holding a pizza box, is Elliot with Niko peeking out from behind him. 

“Alex-ella!” Elliot says, far louder than Alex would have liked since Elody’s room is rather close, “You shall go to the ball!”

Stunned, Alex just stands back and lets the men in. Elliot doesn’t stop, striding into the apartment as if he’s been there a million times before. Niko gives Alex a quick hug. 

“We didn’t see Henry’s text until half an hour ago,” Niko explains apologetically, “We were in the cinema. But we came straight here, well after we grabbed pizza.”

Alex’s brain still hasn’t caught up. Since when did Henry even have Niko’s number? “But why did Henry..?”

“Text?” Niko guesses. He links his arm around Alex’s and together head towards the clinking sounds of the kitchen, “I think he texted everyone in New York to find a babysitter. Luz gave him my number.”

“But it’s Friday night…” Alex protests weakly. “You guys must have a hundred different things to do instead of just bailing me out with childcare.”

Elliot just shrugs, “Our plan was the cinema. We’ve done that now. I had the rest of the evening carved out for pizza and making out with my pretty boyfriend on the sofa.” Niko flushes crimson but Elliot just gives him a wink. “You guys have a sofa, right?”

Oh… So the relationship has moved into the making out stage. Alex doesn’t quite know how to think about that. But Niko is smiling under all that blushing, so Alex decides he doesn’t need to work it out. If Niko’s happy then that’s enough.

“Go get dressed,” Niko pokes Alex in the ribs, “Are you wearing make up?”

“Oh,” Alex blinks in surprise. “I wasn’t planning on it - I’ve, well I’ve never worn make up before.” Beyond being a willing canvas for some kids in the summer program, the closest Alex has come to make up is Halloween facepaint. “Do you think… Would it suit me?”

Those are the magic words, because Niko almost vibrates with excitement. “I’ve got my bag! If you want to try something? Nothing big and over the top but -” Niko pauses, looking back at Elliot who’s already found the plates and is already setting mid setting out the pizza slices. “If that’s okay, Elle? I know you said you were hungry. I don’t want…” 

Alex watches indecision flicker across Niko’s face, those big brown eyes tightening with nerves. He opens his mouth, a kind reassurance on his tongue, but Elliot gets there first. He watches as Elliot sets down the pizza and moves towards his partner. Where Alex would have hugged Henry from behind, the quickest option, Elliot moves round until he’s in the peripheral of Niko’s vision. 

“Hey now…” Elliot speaks first to ensure his presence is known before he touches Niko. The moment Elliot’s hand finds Niko’s cheek, Alex watches the tension bleed out of his shoulders. “Pizza can wait. Go have fun, don’t worry about me. I can watch the 700 TikToks you sent me while I wait.”

“It’s not that many…” Niko grumbles, though can’t seem to stop a smile peaking through.

Elliot catches Alex's eye and raises a knowing eyebrow. It might actually be more than 700.

“Go make Alex pretty,” Elliot gives his boyfriend a gentle kiss, “Leave that Englishman’s jaw on the floor!” 

By the time Alex steps out of his Uber he’s almost bouncing with excitement. Niko has some skills! He didn’t go too far,  especially since it’s Alex’s first foray into the word of make-up. He’d been so kind, shown Alex the different options and listened to his ideas. The make-up is understated. Without the correct skintone for a base, Niko had concentrated highlighting the highpoints of his face with hints of warm bronzes. His eyes are simple but striking, lashes curled and coated in mascara and a black cat eye outlined with a metallic gold. Alex couldn’t believe the difference it made. His eyes looked almost liquid and so warm.

He felt strong. Beautiful. Henry’s beautiful boy. 

Alex would never say it out loud for fear of breaking Henry’s heart, but he rarely believes Henry when he says those words.

Henry is the beautiful one of the pair. Pale and blond and eyes so blue it stops his heart. He’s tall and strong and…

Well Alex isn’t any of those things. 

He’s not pretty like Niko, lithe and almost feminine in his ethereal beauty. 

He’s not handsome like Elliot, who exudes authority with sharp lines and edges.

He definitely is not beautiful like Henry, who could have walked out of some renaissance painting. 

He’s just… Just Alex. 

But with Niko’s make up? It feels a bit like a shield. A mask. It makes him stand a little straighter with his shoulders pushed back. Proud.

He pushes through the doors of the bar, smile on his face, and heads to the rooftop bar which Pez has booked out for the celebrations.

Cool night air hits his skin and Alex takes in the crowd. Pez has immaculate taste. Small, intimate, with candles on tables and strings of fairy lights lighting the space against the city skyline. The music is loud with a strong enough beat that Alex can feel in his chest. His hips twitch, already desperate to wiggle and dance. 

Wiggle and dance with Henry…

Alex steps out of the stairway but doesn’t make it two steps before his way is blocked by a man who looked like a Henry from the Dollar Store. His hair is blond but dull with none of Henry’s shine, eyes light but a chilly grey. He’s tall, probably a little broader than Henry, made all the more so by his arms crossed over his chest.

“Pardon me -” It’s the poshest Scottish accent Alex has ever heard. It’s as if David Tennant and Benedict Cumberbatch have been put in a blender “- But this is a private party. They should have told you downstairs.” 

Those cold eyes take Alex in from head to toe, eyebrow raised as if finding him lacking somehow. It feels blindingly obvious that Alex’s whole outfit costs less than the man’s boat shoes. Every inch of him screams the kind of old British money which some Americans drool over. 

Alex isn’t one of those Americans.

“Oh I -” 

“Angus - down boy! He’s on the list,” Suddenly Pez is there, sweeping towards them through the crowd. He’s dressed immaculately as always in a tailored suit of fuchsia with a floral white shirt underneath. “In fact, he’s a VIP. Come here, Alexander, the birthday boy needs his hug!”

Alex is crushed in the hug. Pez is wonderfully warm, smelling faintly of vodka underneath his aftershave. 

“Happy birthday, boss!” Alex kisses him on both cheeks once he’s released.

Angus is looking at him like the shorter, young, latino in front of him is a puzzle which needs solved. At the word boss, he nods to himself. “I see. You're one of his shelter people? Kind of him to invite you to his birthday.”

“Oh you know me, a friend to all…” Pez slings a big arm over Alex’s shoulders and steers him out of the conversation and towards the bar. “Come on, let’s get you a drink. Then you can find your man and make him dance.”

Pez, predictably, waves away the money Alex’s offers as the drinks are placed in front of them. 

“Don’t be silly - birthday boy gets to buy the drinks.” He presses a shot into Alex’s hand. 

“What is it?” Alex gives it a curious sniff. 

“Vodka!” Pez leans down to speak conspiratorially into Alex’s ear, “Word of advice, darling. Vodka has a tendency to make our wonderful Haz rather slutty.”

Alex snorts, before cheersing Pez and flinging the shot back. He makes a face, vodka’s never his shot of choice. He takes a sip of the whiskey to chase the taste with a familiar burn. 

“Love the make-up by the way,” Pez gives his cheek one final - slightly sloppy - kiss before he’s spinning off into the crowd with his fresh drink. It gives Alex an opportunity to survey the rooftop. Henry won’t be on the dance floor, not without a substantial amount of bullying, so Alex heads off into the chattering crowd. 

Henry is hidden in the back corner. He’s leant against one of the high tables, chatting with a few women Alex doesn’t recognise. The moment their eyes meet though? Henry abandons the conversation without any excuse.

Henry’s eyes drag over him, from the sculpted jeans to the golden liner. Where Angus’s sharp appraisal had left him shrinking, Henry’s filled him with warmth from right down to his gut. 

“Darling -” Henry’s hands find Alex’s hips, drawing him closer so he can take in the makeup, “Jesus, you look - fuck…” 

Alex tilts his head up in a silent request for a kiss which Henry gladly gives. His arms slide up to wrap around Henry’s neck, mouth opening ever so slightly to get a taste of his boyfriend. 

“Dance with me?” Alex asks when they pull apart. Henry’s pupils are certainly more blown than they had been 10 seconds before. He begins to sway his hips to the music, the smallest of brushes brushes against Henry as a teasing promise. “Please?”

Henry barely even hesitates, strong hands squeezing at Alex’s waist. 

“Come on beautiful boy, let me show you off…”

They make it to the dance floor and - fuck - Alex has never seen Henry so loose. He grips Alex as they grind together, showing a rhythm which he’s kept well hidden. Alex leads. Their breath mingles together. Heartbeats merge in time with the thump thump thump of the music. 

Come on beautiful boy…

Alex feels it. 

Here. Dancing with Henry. Those strong hands on hips, staking a claim. Under the twinkling lights which bounce and sparkle off Niko’s products painted on his skin. 

He feels beautiful. Henry’s beautiful boy. His beautiful partner. 

If they could dance forever, be this close forever, then Alex would be happy. 

Unfortunately…

“Henners!” A hand appears on Henry’s shoulder and tugs him back. Suddenly Alex is on his own, grinding on nothing as Angus pulls him away. “We need the Oxford crew for shots!”

Henners?

Alex wrinkles his nose.

Everyone's allowed a nickname but… Henners? It sounds like some cheap beer brand not - well not his Henry. 

Henry looks over his shoulder as he’s dragged away and mouths a ‘sorry’. Alex just waves it  away. It’s Pez’s birthday. If he wants his uni friends for shots then that’s what he gets. Even if he’d sent Angus to steal Henry away. 

Alex turns back to the crowd. There’s plenty of other people to talk to.

Pez’s friends - Angus excluded - are great. Alex gets absorbed into a group Pez knows from the local Nigerian church, who take great delight in teaching him some traditional dance steps. He accepts shots from the tray which is passed around and is flatly denied when he offers to buy the next tray. 

Sage - a PhD student from Abuja with beautiful golden jewellery weaved into her braids - becomes Alex’s new best friend. She drags him back to the dancefloor, stealing a set of coral beads from her fiancé and settling them round Alex’s neck. 

The dancing couldn’t be more different than before. With Henry, it had been close and fluid, flirting in the form of movement.  

Dancing with Sage is nothing short of a celebration. It’s happiness personified, an activity anyone and everyone who wants to join. People ebb and flow, in and out of the group and soon Alex is sweating and smiling and desperate for water. 

Sage follows him to the bar, laughing at Alex’s failing attempts to blow his curls out of his face.

“So few Americans can keep up with me!” Sage grins after they’ve ordered their water. “Where did Pez find you?”

“It’s the Latin blood!” Alex’s hips wiggle of their own accord, as if to prove the point. “I work for Pez at the shelter, but he’s also best friends with my boyfriend. Henry, have you met him? Tall? White? English? Great ass!”

Sage cackles but shakes her head, “I don’t think so? There are too many white boys here. They all look the same.”

Alex fakes a look of horror, “You take that back! My white boy is special!” To prove his point, Alex digs for his phone and opens it with clumsy fingers. “See?”

He holds out a photo to Sage as proof. It’s a photo from a random Saturday, Henry baking with Elody at his side with a few smudges of flour on her nose. 

“Oh he is pretty!” Sage smiles, “And who is the little one?”

“That’s Elody. Our daughter. Pez is her fairy godmother, he calls her Obim.”

“ Oh sweety!” Sage jolts, as if suddenly hit with an idea. “Do you do playdates? A family has just started at our church, fresh from Lagos. They have twin girls and need friends…” 

The pair chat for a little longer and swap numbers, promising to get the girls together when they can. By the time their waters are empty, Sage tries to pull him back towards the dancefloor. 

“I need the restroom,” Alex explains. Sage pouts but leaves him be. It’s not quite a lie. He does need to pee, but also needs to find his white boy.

He wanders downstairs into the main part of the bar and, by the time he finds the gender neutral restrooms, Alex realises those shots have gone to his head. He’s a little wobbly as he pushes into one of the stalls.

The music is loud enough to be heard in the restroom and Alex finds himself bobbing along to the beat. He’s so lost in the music that the door banging open makes him jump.

What follows isn’t shouting, but the kind of furious whispers which is almost worse. 

“Get away from me, prick!”

Alex blinks, brows furrowing. That’s Henry. His white boy.

“Jesus, when did you become such a prude!” Urgh. Angus. “You’re acting like I tried to take your dick out in the bar.”

“You tried to kiss me, you twat!”

The words are like ice water being dunked over Alex’s head. 

“We used to do far more than kiss, Henry. Don’t forget who you’re talking to. I know you. I’ve had you tied to the bed, begging for my belt so I don’t know who this little choir boy act is for but it’s not not fooling anyone.”

“That was a long time ago. Whatever we did back at school doesn’t give you the right kiss me when my fucking boyfriend is here!”

“Boyfriend?” The word drips with derision “What boyfriend? When I grabbed you for shots you were grinding up against that shelter volunteer? You didn’t seem to care much about having a boyfriend then.”

There’s a beat of silence before Angus lets out a harsh laugh, “You can’t be serious. The kid with the tacky eyeliner is the boyfriend? Really, Henry? Have you fucked your way through every man in New York and that’s what’s left?”

It feels like Alex has been stabbed. Ice cold and straight through the heart. 

A kid with the tacky gold eyeliner.

That’s what’s left.

He’s not even a he… Alex is a that. 

Tears well up in Alex’s eyes and he slaps a hand over his mouth to keep any traitorous sounds inside. The last thing he needs is to prove Angus right by crying in the bathroom stall. 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Alex has never heard such a sharp edge to Henry’s voice, as if he could draw blood with just his tongue. “And I suggest you stop before we really have a problem.”

“Oh poor Henners, have I touched a nerve?” Angus taunts, “God, you haven’t actually fallen for the boy have you? Well I suppose it will be an expensive first marriage for you. That’s what he’s after, I assume? Granny’s money?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Alex isn’t like that. Money is the last thing he cares about. He loves me and adores Elody.”

“Oh right, I heard you took in your sister’s crack baby. Jesus, Henry, what -”

The sharp crack of a slap ricochets off the walls of the bathroom and Alex stuffs his knuckle in his mouth to keep the surprise cry from spilling out. 

“Say that about my daughter again,” Henry growls, “I dare you…”

The ear-splitting silence fills the room, sucking out the oxygen until Alex’s chest begins to burn. 

“Get out of my way, prick.”

Alex hears Henry push the door to the bathroom open and footsteps disappear. After a few shuddering breaths, Alex hears Angus follow.

Only once he’s alone does Alex risk uncovering mouth. Immediately every sound he’s kept contained comes tumbling out. It’s not quite gasps, not quite sobs but something in between. A mix and muddle of everything Alex had kept locked up during the conversation.

With shaking hands he fishes his phone out of his pocket and stares blankly at the screen. 

He can’t text Henry, who’s likely gone straight to Pez after the fight. Which means Pez is also out for Alex too.

That only leaves one person at the party who’s saved in his phone contact list. A friendship which is maybe an hour old at best. 

Clumsy fingers open Sage’s contact and type out a message.

Alex the dancing queen

01:13 fuck

01:13 sorry. your orobably havin the best time upstairs

01:14 or mybe uv gone home

Sage (super cool beautiful hair)

01:14 Ezra and I are just getting our coats

01:15 everything okay? You find your whiteboy?

Alex the dancing queen

01:15 kinda. fuck im a mess

01:15 in the restrooms on the first floor

01:16 could you maybe

01:17 nm its fine you said you were leaving

Sage (super cool beautiful hair)

01:17 on my way. Ez is coming too

Chapter Text

“Maybe I should just go…” Alex mumbles around a tired sigh.

The look Sage gives him makes it clear that’s not happening. He’s given the woman the cliff notes version of Henry’s altercation with Angus. The look in eyes is one of fierce determination. It’s more than a little terrifying.

“What? And let this man win? No! Absolutely not!” Sage slams her huge bag on the counter and begins digging through, “First, let's sharpen up that eyeliner. No more tears over people who don’t matter, hear me?” 

Sage bats him non-to-gently on the nose with her eyeliner pen. “Now close your eyes and let me work.” 

“Yes, boss.”

“You are hot stuff, Alex!” Sage has clearly decided he needs a bit of cheerleading. “If you weren’t gay and I wasn’t engaged then I’d be locking you down in a heartbeat.”

Alex huffs out a breath which could be a laugh. “I’m actually bisexual.”

“Then we’re half way there - excellent! I’ll get rid of Ezra and we can run off into the sunset.”

“I’m right here.” Ezra says from his spot by the door. 

“Quiet, sweetness. I’m flirting.”

Alex feels himself relax as the pair bicker back and forth. It reminds him of being round June and Nora.

Honestly? Just having someone in his corner has calmed his emotions. Well, one of them. The shame drains away as Sage touches up his face, leaving only anger.

There is so much to rage over. Now that he’s no longer reeling, no longer frozen, Alex finds his indignation rising. The fact he had just stood there infuriates him. Angus has insulted Elody and tried to kiss his boyfriend and he’s just stood there? What kind of partner did that? The words about him don’t bother Alex so much. They can be ignored but the insults to his foxes? Never. 

Alex will ride against Hell for his adopted family.

“Right - you’re done!” 

Alex opens his eyes and - wow - perhaps Niko and Sage should open a makeover business together. She hadn’t taken over Niko’s earlier work, but sharpened all the edges which Alex had dulled with tears. 

“You’re hot stuff,” Sage repeats. She turns Alex round until he’s fully facing the mirror.  With a smile, Sage sets her chin companionably on his shoulder. “Come on, say it!” 

Alex squirms under such a direct gaze but Sage doesn’t let up. She prods him in the back.

“You’re not leaving until you do!”

“I’m…” Alex swallows awkwardly, “I’m hot stuff…”

Sage’s wide smile splits her face. “Too right you are!” She runs her hands through his curls to bring back their bouncy movement. “Now are we choosing the highroad? Chins up and ignoring that asshole? Or are we going low to teach him who he’s messing with?”

“Sage…” Her fiancé warns, but she just flutters an unbothered hand in his direction.

“Get on board or disappear, Ez. If you want plausible deniability, go get a drink at the bar.”

Sage offers Alex a wicked smile which he can’t help but return. 

“Okay,” Alex catches eyes with his co-conspiritor, “I’ve got an idea.”

“He needs to leave. Now. Before I do something which has him needing in an ambulance.”

The anger is rolling off Henry’s shoulders in waves. White. Hot. Fury. He ignores the water that Pez tries to put into his hands as he paces back and forth. He needs to put this rage somewhere. If he doesn’t, Henry worries that he is going to burn up from the inside out. 

“What’s he even doing here? Since when are you even still friends?”

“He’s in the city visiting Hugh. He asked to bring Angus and what was I meant to say. No?”

“Bloody right, you were meant to say no!” Henry storms, “He hasn’t changed one bit since university. Bastard then. Fuck - he might be even worse now.” 

He has to calm down before he goes to find Alex. God, at least Alex is safe dancing the night away upstairs. Henry has already decided not to tell him about the altercation, not when he’d been so happy earlier. It’s the only silver lining of this whole shitshow - Alex hasn’t had to hear it.

Pez reaches out and grips onto his upper arms to force his friend to still. “What did he say, Haz?”

But Henry shakes his head. He can’t say it, can’t put those words back into the world again. Now without shattering. 

“Henry!” Oh dear. Full names. It’s serious.

“Percy.” 

The look his old friend gives him is full of frustration. Henry knows he isn’t going to get out of this conversation without giving him something… Bloody stubborn man. 

“He tried to kiss me…” Pez opens his mouth but Henry holds up a hand to silence him. “It’s whatever. Maybe he didn’t know I have a boyfriend, or he could have at least played it off as that, but he did the standard Angus thing and got… pissy…”

“Pissy.” Pez echoes. They’ve both seen it over their years at university, Angus’ tendency to throw his toys out his pram when he doesn’t get what he wants or feels humiliated. Clearly the decade since their undergrad hasn’t caused much growth. “What did he -?”

“You don’t want to know. Believe me. Else I’ll be helping you push him off the roof… Just, I need him out. Please.” Christ, he can feel a headache coming on. Wasn’t Henry supposed to be having a fun night?

“Okay - Okay. Right. Let’s -”

A crash from the bar area steals Pez’s attention. Henry follows his gaze but can’t see what’s going on beyond a crowd. 

“What the -”

“You stupid prick!”

Alex makes an exaggerated ‘oops’ face. He pointedly doesn’t look at Sage or he will definitely start cracking up. 

The plan was stupid and simple, the sort of childish idea only a couple of drunks can concoct and think it’s genius. A tray of 4 glasses of red wine.  Ezra’s ‘accidental’ out leg between tables. An oscar-worthy trip by Alex. 

And now Angus is on the floor, stupid designer shirt and smug face covered in almost a whole bottle of thick red wine. It’s clear he’s furious. It’s a wonder the wine isn’t steaming off his skin. 

Perhaps if Alex was sober, he’d have been able to keep a straight face. But it just feels so fucking good. The man who had called him a that, who had spouted such hateful things about the sweetest little girl in the Northern Hemisphere, now looks so ridiculous stained red and spluttering on the floor of the bar. Suddenly, listening to anything he had to say seemed absurdly ridiculous. Why had he ever listened to this ridiculous man?

“I’m - I’m sor-” Alex can’t even get to the end of his fake apology without a smile cracking his face. 

He hides it from the crowd by bending down, under the pretence of helping him up, where he lets his mask drop. The grin which Alex flashes is wrathful and dangerous.

“Come after my family again,” Alex lets their eyes meet and revels in the nerves which flashes across Angus’s face, “And wine stains will be the least of your problems.”

He holds out his hand like the picture of the good mannered boy his mother has raised and speaks loud enough for the crowd to hear. 

“So fucking clumsy… Sorry. Let me help you -” 

Angus slaps his hand away. “Bastard!”

Perfect. 

Alex straightens up, hands held high in exaggerated surrender. “It was an accident!”

“Bullshit! You crazy fucking tosser! You - Ah!”

In Angus’s haste to scramble to his feet, his hand lands on a piece of glass and blood spurts from his palm.

Oh… 

Not part of the plan but Alex isn’t going to complain about the development. 

For Elody, he decides. The asshole deserves it.

Staff members descend with paper towels and spluttered apologies. Alex steps back and spots a Sage and Ezra slip through the door, their work complete. He turns with plans to head back to the bar but stops in his tracks. Blue eyes nail him to the spot.

Fuck. 

Henry is staring at him. No. Not staring. Studying. Like a lion who’s working out the angles of a jump before descending on a gazelle. 

Fuck. 

Fuck.

Alex swallows, his heart fluttering against his ribcage. He aims for an easy smile but is sure nervousness pulls at the edges.

“Hi, baby?”

“So are fucking incredible.” 

The moment Niko and Elliot leave through the apartment door, Henry is on him. Hands roaming over his chest and under his shirt, lips and teeth biting at his jaw and the sensitive skin of his neck.

“Hen!” Alex’s brain short circuits as Henry’s lips find his pulse point and sucks hard enough to leave a bruise, “Baby, I - fuck!”

“Jesus, I wanted your shirt off when I first saw you at the club. Those jeans, that make-up. Fuck, I would have had you right there on the dancefloor if I could…” Henry captures Alex’s whine in his mouth. “So proud of you. So proud of my beautiful boy. Would have shown you off in front of everyone, shown the crowd how pretty you are without these clothes. Everyone would have known you’re mine then. The hottest man at the party and he’s mine!”

Alex’s hands scramble desperately at Henry’s shoulders. His muscles don’t seem to listen to him, as if Henry’s strong sucks and sharp bites are taking over his nervous system. He doesn’t realise Henry’s hands have moved until he grips high on the meat of his thighs. 

“Jump.” Henry commands and Alex doesn’t even ask ‘how high’. He jumps and wraps his legs around Henry’s hips, arms around his neck. Henry presses Alex back against the wall, grinding their crotches together. All Alex can do is hang on and feel. 

“Fuck, fuck, you’re so hot,” Henry growls before going back to attack Alex’s mouth. And it is an attack. Alex’s mouth falls open, letting Henry lick into his mouth, biting on his bottom lip and tugging until he whines. 

“And then I see you,” Henry rocks his hips forward and Alex can feel how hard he is, even through their jeans, “Fuck, the way you went after Angus. Made him bleed after he insulted our family. I’ve never been so turned on in my life.” 

The bleeding had been an accident, not that Alex has the spare brain power to admit it right now.

“Our protector. Our champion. I love you so fucking much. Fuck me? Please? I need to feel you in me. I need you so close that no one can split us apart…” Henry drops his head down to rest against Alex’s shoulder. 

“Please?”

It’s the final word which catches Alex off guard. Everything else has been so rough. 

Demanding.

There’s something different in the word. That final ‘please’. It’s desperate, a tight edge which makes Alex worry that one wrong move might shatter the beautiful man in front of him. For all that Henry’s being rough, grabbing at him and nipping with teeth, the plea in that single word tells Alex he needs to know. 

For all that Henry’s asking to be fucked, what he needs is to be loved.

Once they make it to their bed, Alex worships. He doesn’t let Henry goad him into something rough and fast because that’s not what he needs. As he opens Henry up with his fingers, Alex makes sure he is loved. Adored. Henry needs the opposite to whatever bullshit Angus had given him over a decade ago. So much of Henry’s life has been alone. Standing on his own two feet and pretending that he likes it that way. 

Alex knows better. 

There’s nothing Alex wants more than to prove to Henry that he knows what he needs..

By the time Henry is stretched and ready, the strong body is quivering under Alex’s fingers.

“Alex, Alex, please…” Henry begs when Alex slides out his three fingers and curls his body around  Henry’s back. “I need - Don’t leave me empty. Please.”

“Never.” Alex promises with a kiss against the top of his spine. With a gentle hand, Alex pushes his top leg up to open him further. “I’ll always be here to give you what you need. No matter what.”

The initial breach is careful, far more careful than Henry would have done if he’d been in control. 

“So beautiful…” Alex whispers as he slides home. He shudders at the warmth, the tight, slick heat which he’s come to adore. “Love being inside of you. Love feeling you around me. Mine. Always mine.”

“Yours,” Henry agrees. His head falls back to rest on Alex’s shoulder, revealing the long expanse of milky white skin down his neck. In the darkness of the room the skin takes on a blue hue. Magical. Ethereal. “Yours forever.”

“Can I..?” Alex swallows. He wants to give Henry time to adjust. He should… But he’s so warm. Tight. Having him so close, in his arms and yet enveloping him. It’s so much. Flying so close to the sun that Alex is sure he’ll melt with one wrong move, one wrong -

“Give it to me.” 

Alex whines and begins to move his hips. The warmth drags against his cock, the shudder of the man in his arms, it’s sensory overload in the best way. 

“It’s me and you now,” Alex murmurs against Henry’s ear. The man's eyes are closed, mouth ever so slightly slack as he lets out little pants. Henry’s in rapture, allowing himself to be adored. “You’ll never be alone again. Never have to face the world alone again. It’s us, baby. Together. Forever.” 

“Forever…” Henry echos. His chest is heaving, shuddering as Alex strokes in and out of the most delicate part of him. 

Alex slides his hand from Henry’s thigh to starfish across his strong stomach, pulling them tighter together. 

“No one can split up apart,” Alex remembers his words from earlier. He strokes his fingers across the lines of his torso, offering appropriate reverence to the seams of his beautiful body. “Not ever. I’m with you until the end. I love you, Henry. Love you so fucking much.”

Henry doesn’t seem to notice as tears form in the corners of his closed eyes. Alex just kisses them away from anywhere he can reach.

Alex shifts the angle of his hips just on the next thrust. The cry which falls from Henry’s lips tells him he’s found the right spot. 

“Alex!”

“Not gonna swear on something boring like some god or the stars,” Alex draws back and presses back in. His length slides across Henry’s prostate, the prolonged sensation sending spasms of pleasure right down to his partner's toes. “Gonna swear on something that matters. On a ham-smuggling dogs or blue porridge or - fuck, Hen - green lanterns. I’ll swear on all the things that really matter that I’ll be by your side for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Forever?” Henry gasps. His back arches into the curve which will forever drive Alex to insanity. The curve he wants to lick and map out with his tongue until it’s seared into his memory. 

“Forever, baby.” Alex’s hand slides from Henry’s stomach down to his hard, weeping cock. 

“Close!” Henry gasps as he begins to fuck into Alex’s fist. “I’m close. Christ, god, Alex. Don’t stop - fuck -”

“Never gonna stop,” Alex pants into his ear, “Never. Me and you, baby. Forever.”  He lets his thumb rub just under the head which never fails to turn Henry into a feral mess. “Always.”

The splash of Henry’s warm cum is enough to tip Alex over the edge. One final thrust and he spills with a strangled cry he only just manages to muffle in Henry’s neck.

They’ll need to get up to clean themselves. Alex knows that. Just for a few minutes though? Alex lets them just relax together. He can’t bring himself to put out just yet. He just needs to be as close as possible to the man in his arms. To be connected. 

Just for a few minutes, a few quiet minutes which is just for them.

The world can wait. It owes them that.

Chapter Text

“We were never together.”

The pair are stretched out on their sofa the next morning, Elody freshly deposited at her dance classes. Alex has suggested they find a cafe or perhaps a park, but Henry had been hesitant. Alex didn’t know exactly what he wanted to share, but if it was easier to do within the comfort of their home then that’s what they’d do.

As is their normal positions, they’re at either end of the sofa, Alex’s feet in Henry's lap with his hand resting lightly on his ankles.

“Me and Angus,” Henry clarifies even though they both know who he’s talking about. 

“It would be okay if you were,” Alex says and means it. Perhaps earlier in their relationship he might have been intimidated at Henry’s experiences but not now, now after everything they’ve managed together. 

“I wouldn’t lie to you, love. Not about this,” Henry gives his ankle a squeeze. “But it wasn’t a relationship.”

“How did you meet?” Alex asks.

“Oh some random house party Pez dragged me to…” Of course Pez is involved. Menace. “I was new to being out. Well new to being allowed to be out at least. And Angus just seemed so… Well experienced.”

“Isn’t he your age?” 

Henry shakes his head. “He was a year ahead of me. Not much in the grand scheme of things but I was 18 and fresh out from under my gran’s thumb. He seemed so confident, knowledgeable. I guess I went a little moon eyed. It never occurred to me that what he had to say wasn’t right. It took… Well it took a bit of time for me to see what we were doing for what it was…”

The echo of Angus’s taunts return to the forefront of Alex’s mind.

I’ve had you tied to the bed, begging for my belt.

The dread in Alex’s stomach only builds. “Henry…”

Henry reaches out to pat Alex’s knee. “I’m okay, love. It was a long time ago.”

“Doesn’t make it okay.”

“Well that’s certainly true, but I don’t want to make him into some kind of super villain. He’s a wanker. An old-money tosser who has never understood why the rest of the world doesn’t worship him like his family. A bastard with a hugely inflated ego and sense of self importance,” Henry just gives a little shrug. “But all that can be true at the same time as him not being a predator. Or, at least, I’ve never seen it.”

Alex would still rather take the mother fucker for a long walk off a short pier, but decides against telling that to Henry. At least for the moment. 

“I was…” Henry pauses. It seems to take himself a moment to properly order his thoughts. Alex forces himself to be patient. “I had so many scars, Alex, and they were so fresh. Gran’s words felt like they were branded across my skin and I… It felt like the only way I could let myself have that pleasure was if it was coated in pain first.”

“Henry…” Suddenly the space between them seems completely unacceptable. Alex removes his feet from Henry’s lap and settles himself there instead. It allows him full access to the pinched expression of his partner’s face. He begins to carefully stroke away at the worry lines at his forehead. Once they are smooth, Alex goes to work at the creases around Henry’s mouth, the pads of his thumbs working in perfect symmetry. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Those bright eyes flutter closed under Alex’s singular focus, revelling in the attention as the younger man does his best to wipe away any remains of those words as easily as leftover crumbs. Alex knows it’s not that simple. It never is. Those words couldn’t be brushed off as much as exorcised. Cut out like a cancer using years of therapy and rewiring as a tool.

Pride wars with sorrow in Alex’s chest. Pride at all Henry has overcome and accomplished, sorrow that it was ever necessary. 

“Angus gave me what I wanted, what I thought I needed,” Henry sighs. He leans his cheek into Alex’s warm palm. “I… I didn’t know it was allowed to feel so good. Like it is with you.”

And that? Well those few words both break his heart and bond it back together with liquid gold.

“Love you so much…” Alex whispers.

“As I love you, sweetboy…”

Alex shuffles even closer until their chests brush and his forehead finds Henry’s shoulder. Alex wishes this could be the end of it. And yet… Memories won't stop biting at the edges of his brain. What if… What if he had..?

He knows he should leave it alone, Henry has already shared so much, but Alexander Claremont-Diaz has never been one to resist pressing at a bruise. Leaving a scab unpicked. A big red button unpressed. He can’t allow himself to leave his question unasked, even the outcome has the potential to hurt.

“What we did,” Alex mumbles against Henry’s shoulder, “In the kitchen at Christmas. When you asked me to… Was that..?”

The memory is suddenly so clear. Henry’s torso pressed down against the cool worktop, panting out little breaths as Alex turned the beautiful pale skin of his ass red under his hand.

What’s an appropriate punishment for you being so mean?

Tell me. How do you want to be punished?

You need to take your spanking.

Alex suddenly tastes bile.

“Did I…” Alex can’t find the words to finish such a horrifying thought.

“Oh, Alex, no. No. In no way is it the same. It’s not - sweetheart, look at me, please?” 

Alex lets his head be nudged up until they lock eyes. 

“What we did - what we sometimes do - is based in respect. We communicate. We talk about our wants and desires and set boundaries. We know that either of us can end the game at any time for any reason. At its core it’s an exercise in trust…” Henry draws one of Alex’s hands up and presses it to his cheek. Alex feels his knuckle stroke against Henry’s cheekbone. Soft. Trusting. 

“I never trusted Angus like I trust you. We never spoke about it. Never established safewords. He went too far more than once, not that I had a framework to tell him. My scar here?” Henry touches his freehand to his side on his ribs. “He wasn’t careful. Got carried away and the buckle of his belt caught me and broke the skin.”

Of course Alex knows the scar. He’s mapped it under his tongue countless times. He draws his hand back and slowly inches up the t-shirt. It’s there. A small, straight scar, perhaps the length of Alex’s thumbnail and a few shades darker than the rest of Henry’s torso. Alex had never asked. Why hadn’t he asked?  He’d always made the assumption that it was a left over from childhood. A slash from a tree or jagged rock.

Not…

Jesus. Fuck. A belt.

It’s enough to drive Alex to homicide.

Alex ghosts a finger over the mark, treating it as if it were fresh and not over a decade old. To leave such a mark on something so pure feels sacrilegious. A capital offence. Alex shuffles back on Henry’s lap so he can bend down properly and inspect the blemish. Before he truly decides to do it, Alex leans forward and kisses right over the scar.

“He shouldn’t have done that to you…”

“No,” Henry agrees, “But it was an accident. I wish I could say that it woke me up and I never went back but it took a few more times for me to come to my senses. I talked to Pez about it, did some reading, even went to a kink night with other likeminded people and learned quickly that whatever we were engaging in wasn’t safe or sane. The fact that these hardcore people were horrified by what I was describing really shocked me… It gave me a lot of clarity.”

With a final kiss, Alex replaces the fabric over Henry’s side. 

“That’s a shitty way to learn a lesson.”

“Quite…” Henry nods. He opens his arms and Alex slots himself into them with a sad sigh. “Not long after Angus and I finished whatever it was we had, Pez bullied me into talking to a university counsellor. She was very helpful in untangling lots of my feelings, like why I felt like I was only allowed pleasure from sex if it was accompanied by punishment. In a weird way, Angus kind of helped me. Who knows how long it would have taken me to speak to someone without that whole shitshow.”

Alex glowers at the idea of Angus being in any way helpful. Henry just laughs and kisses his pursed lips. 

“I’m gonna end him if I ever see him again…” Alex mumbles as he settles himself into Henry’s embrace. “A red wine shower is nothing. Maybe I can convince him to meet me at the top of something high… Or next to something sharp… Or a deep fat fryer? I bet I could still make it look like an accident…”

“You are a menace and I love you.”

The kiss Alex feels against his temple makes him sigh. Alex cheatcode activated. 

“Can I ask one thing though…” Alex, in a wonderful David impression, uses his nose to bully his way under Henry’s chin. It’s his spot. That’s the rules.

“Of course, love.”

“When we… play…” Alex begins, picking his words carefully, “I don’t like pain. I’ve said before I don’t want to be hit.”

He feels Henry’s nod above him, “And I’ll always respect your boundary, love.”

“But I don’t ever want to hit you with anything either.” Truthfully, the thought has been sitting in the back of Alex’s mind for a while. This conversation has only served to clarify his thinking. “Spanking is one thing but I don’t want to use anything. Ever. No paddles or whips and definitely never a belt. I get that might be a disappointment, maybe you were hoping I’d get there one day but I don’t think I will. I never want to do it. I don’t think I could.”

Henry doesn’t reply right away, but the kiss he presses to Alex’s skin is enough to keep him from spiralling. 

“You will never be a disappointment to me,” Henry whispers finally. “Not ever. And certainly not for something like this. I’ll never ask that of you, Alex. You have my word.” 

“It’s not something you need?” 

“My sweet boy,” Henry rubs his thumbs across the tendons of Alex’s arms, leaving happy little shivers in their wake, “I need you. That’s all. You satisfy me fully. Anything else is just trinkets. You’re the real prize. My treasure…”

Alex, out of words for the moment, just snuggles in closer. 

Sooner than either men would have preferred, they’re off out again to collect Elody. She happily stretches herself between them, rambling about various dance class gossip as they make their way to the restaurant Pez has picked out for his birthday lunch. Unlike the party, which was loud and full, this meal has more of a select guest list. Just Pez, his obim, his white boy brother and his employee turned friend. Four is enough for this little celebration. Just family. 

“Darlings!” Pez stands when they enter. Elody takes the first hug, squeezing her fairy godmother’s waist and making him bend down so she could kiss both cheeks. 

“Happy birthday!” Elody sings. She steps back, and snatches the gift bag from her papi’s hand. “This is from me!”

“Oh, obim, you’re spoiling me!” Pez beams and kisses the top of her head.

Henry steps forward and takes his next hug before Pez turns to Alex with a sly grin.

“And hello to our little assassin!” Pez grins before tugging him in. “I hear from Sage that you two have become best friends and partners in crime. Should I be concerned?”

“Why’s papi an assassin?” Elody pipes up, looking between the men as they all take their seats. 

“Oh -” Alex’s face flushes at the memories from last night. In the sober light of day, Alex knows that it’s not a story which he wants to share with Elody. Not in any way, shape or form. “I mean…”

“He kept disappearing last night, angel, that’s all.” Henry lies smoothly. “Now, what are you having to drink?”

As Elody launches into her opening statement about why she deserves something fizzy since its a special occasion, Pez catches Alex’s eye and gives him a wink. It does nothing to stop the heat in Alex’s cheeks. With Elody distracted doing her fabulous sugar based lawyer impression with her dad, Pez deems it safe enough to lean over to Alex’s ear.

“I’m sorry about last night…” He murmurs with gentle squeeze to Alex’s elbow. “But thank you. Christ, you truly are perfect for my wonderful Haz. Alex, darling, you officially have my blessing.”

Alex, the mature adult that he is, almost chokes on his own tongue. He manages to get himself under control just before either of his Foxes notice. He looks wide-eyed at Pez, who preens at the little seed of chaos he’s planted. 

“Just wanted to make it clear, dear, in case it ever becomes relevant…” Pez picks up the menu and makes a show of reading over the options. “Have you ever tried the French toast here? Apparently they make it with banana bread. Marvellous stuff.”

Alex just nods. His brain hasn’t returned to his body yet. 

Well… That’s certainly good to know.