Work Text:
The vacation house was built into a hill. On one side, the front door opened onto the grass. On the other, if someone opened a door (it was only windows. So if they smashed a window) and stepped out, they'd fall on the grass between the pond and the pillars that supported the house, and probably break a few bones.
Heeseung and Sunghoon were sitting, talking and laughing, side by side at the pond's edge. Finding nothing else interesting, Jake watched them through the window while he waited for Jay, and he felt more than a little uncomfortable when suddenly Heeseung moved toward Sunghoon—actually, he couldn't tell who moved first—and then it became pretty obvious what they were doing, rolling around in the grass at the pond's edge.
"They're gonna regret that," Jay's voice said, startling Jake. His body pitched like he'd been shocked. He felt like he'd been shocked. "Bugs and grass falling out of every crevice later."
"You speaking from experience?"
"Just common sense."
"Experience."
"Yeah, experience."
"Was it good?"
Jay shrugged. "It was fun at the time, but like I said, the regret came later."
"Was it only the bugs you regretted?"
"No. Well, I mean, yeah. For a while I thought they were the one. But, you know, life doesn't give you all your aces from the start."
"That's what you think?"
"I don't know what I think."
"Me neither. I've liked people before but never enough to think they'll be the one."
"I just fall too easily." Jay laughed.
Jake wanted to comfort him but he didn't know how. He'd been told he had a comforting presence and that was why he was so coveted for hangouts. The issue was that he didn't always know how to use that comforting presence when it really mattered to him.
"Man," Jay said, looking down through the window at the pond again. "They're still going at it."
"You'd think they'd have some shame."
"They will later."
"Can you guarantee that?"
Jay shook his head. "I really can't."
"Come on," Jake said, "let's see what's in the kitchen."
In the kitchen Jay got a beer out of the fridge and offered Jake one but Jake refused. He didn't want to drink before dinner and he didn't want a repeat of the other night, either.
(Riki had taken a video of them and video-Jake had been watching Jay drink and talk and after-video-Jake insisted everyone else was looking at him at that time too—because they were—but it really was no use because even he could tell he was hopeless. Ironically, he felt the only option he had was hope. To hope Jay felt the same way or to hope it all would fade eventually, before Jay got into a serious long-term relationship that wasn't with Jake.)
The beer can made a brief, faint whooshing sound when Jay popped it open. He got out a pack of crunchy somethings to go with it. "Why do you call Heeseung baby?"
"I call everyone things. Come on, baby; I'm here, love; what's that, darling?"
"I can't tell if you're joking or not."
"I'm not. Is it funny?" Jake already felt a smile forming on his own face.
Jay laughed, more at himself than Jake. "Not that funny? I give people weirder nicknames. Those are just regular pet names."
"I don't know how you think of those."
"You collect a bunch of things about a person and put them together. Try it."
Jake started to speak and then stopped. "No. Nope."
"No?"
"No."
Jay drank. Jake tried not to watch how his body, steady from all the exercise he'd done over the years, contrasted the movement of his throat. Failed.
Jay finished drinking. He noticed Jake watching. "You want some?"
Jake shook his head.
Jake brought drinks from the fridge for everybody and joined them, crowding around the table for dinner.
"Hey, baby," he said, brushing his hand over Jay's shoulders as he sat beside him.
Instead of answering in the usual way, Jay coughed and turned so Jake couldn't see his face. Maybe the food was spicy, or bitter like that time Jay drank gosam tea.
"Don't throw up, baby," Jake said, and patted Jay on the back before returning the care to his growling stomach.
The others at the table that noticed laughed. The ones that didn't kept eating and talking. Heeseung and Sunghoon, at the end of the row opposite Jake, were talking quietly to each other. They looked considerably less disheveled than Jake had expected. Sunghoon hadn't even noticed this Jay-Jake moment, which was pretty rare. The stir-fry noodles weren't spicy.
So, yeah. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Jake to call Jay baby.
"I can call you nicknames, too."
"I know."
"I will call you nicknames, too."
"You already do, Jay, don't forget."
"Hey, my memory's not that bad."
"Mine is." He couldn't remember the string of nicknames Jay had for him, but he could remember physics calculations and (sometimes) song lyrics he composed in his head fine.
"It has pros and cons. You can remember some things. That's why you're baby Australian milk puppy golden retriever genius composer Sim Jaeyun."
"Wow, that's gotten long."
"I can make it longer."
On another afternoon-almost-evening when it wasn't quite time to get everyone together for dinner yet, Jake and Jay were once again alone in the living room. This time nobody was rolling around by the pond. Jake actually had no idea where anyone else was but he figured they'd show up for food at some point.
Nobody rolled around by the pond but a car rolled around on the wooden floor of the living room. Jay stood on the rug with the controller.
"We're not supposed to have these in here," Jake said, attempting to untangle the antenna of a remote from the wheels of another car.
"Why is that?"
"I don't know. Might damage the floors."
"These floors can take worse. Wanna race?"
"As soon as I get this out."
Jay played announcer. "Four time winner Jay Park enters the trrraaackk—but can the baby Australian milk puppy cutie race driver demon be beat? Or is it futile? We wish Jay Park our best!"
Jake brought his car to the start of the "track" beside Jay's. "I'm going to run into a wall."
"You're going to win," Jay said. "Three, two, one. Go!"
Jake fumbled the controller and the car spun. "Wait you didn't say if we were going on—ah!"
"Stop moaning and win." Jay was focused on speeding his car through the makeshift course now.
An intense few minutes later, the race was done.
"You won!"
"I ran into the wall."
"The wall was the finish line!"
"Your car also ran into a wall. Farther away."
"It was the wrong wall. You won! You're F1's dream driver now."
"This isn't how F1 races work."
"Accept your win, Sim Jaeyun. You might not get so lucky next time."
"I'll be sure to find you next time I want to drive into walls."
Soon, Jungwon came in, followed shortly by Sunghoon and then Sunoo.
Jay grabbed Jake and presented him to their friends. "He won! Look at our baby Australian milk puppy golden retriever cream border collie Layla cutie genius composer pretty face hip-hop boy F1's dream race demon Sim Jaeyun."
Sunghoon laughed and tried to say the same nickname but trailed off not even a third of the way through. Then he just laughed more.
"How did you have enough air for that?" Sunoo looked amazed.
Jungwon jumped on both of them, smelling like sweat and trees. "When Riki comes he's gonna be hungry so be prepared."
"Hey, baby," Jay said when Jake walked up to him. He was sitting on the wooden swing that couldn't swing because it was right up against the back of the house facing the yard.
Jake tilted his head.
Jay raised his eyebrows.
Jake tilted his head the other way. "Where's the rest of it?"
Jay made an innocent face. "Rest of what?"
"The nickname?"
Jay moved over and Jake sat beside him.
"Oh, I thought it'd gotten too long. I got rid of it."
"No you didn't."
"How do you know?"
"I just do."
"Really?"
"Really, really."
The pollen-and-sun smell was strong. Jake perpetually felt like he was holding in a sneeze.
"If you know me so well, why don't you know my feelings for you?"
"What?"
Jay kept looking at him. "You heard me."
The mindless summer that had tugged Jake around all day had been doused. It didn't feel as scary as he'd hoped it would. It didn't have the same volcanic feeling he'd expected. Jay finally looked away, but he didn't leave even though Jake still hadn't said anything. He didn't take it back, either.
"I didn't want to assume," Jake said.
"You could've."
You could've wanted to? You could've assumed?
What was it?
"I didn't."
"It's safe to now."
"Um—I—uh." He felt like a teenager. If he thought about it, his teenhood wasn't that far behind him, so this time it could slide. "Me too. For me too, yeah."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Jay was smiling at him. Jake smiled back.
The swing hit the wall with a dry thump when Jay shifted position. Now their knees were touching. "I don't really know what to do now."
"I mean." Jake looked over at the pond. "I know what we're not doing."
Jay laughed. "I think that's already been established."
Jake was glad life hadn't given him all his aces from the start.