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“Come on,” Kelly said, laughing as he looked down at Stella. She was still lying in bed and had wrapped herself up in the comforter in the minute since he’d got up. “You’re the one who wanted to go on a run this morning.”
“And it was a great idea in theory. But now it’s actually the morning, It’s freezing cold and dark and I don’t want to get out of bed.”
Kelly reached an arm out to her, “You’ll be fine when we get started.”
Stella sighed. “I know and I’ll be glad we went too,” taking his hand in hers as she said it, letting him pull her so she was sitting up. “I’m just not loving that I actually have to get up and do it right now.”
He laughed again as he started walking out to the main area of the loft, leaving her in the bedroom alone.
“Where are you going?” she shouted after him.
Kelly kept walking as he replied, “You don’t like running on an empty stomach so I’m going to get you something.”
Stella smiled at how thoughtful he was being while she was still complaining about the early morning alarm. Took a deep breath and finally got fully up and out of bed, quickly grabbing one of his hoodies to pull on before she followed after him.
“Hi,” Kelly said as they met halfway between the kitchen and bedroom, he’d been on his way back to her and was expecting her to still be in bed. He had a banana in each hand, had already started eating one of them, and held out the other for her.
“Hi,” she replied as she took it off him.
“What kind of run are we doing?”
“We have plenty of time, could just go easy and see how long we last in the freezing cold.” Stressing the words freezing cold and reminding him that she was cold, just in case he’d forgot in the past two minutes.
“We’ll be fine. It’s not as bad as it’s been,” he reassured her, his hand on her hip.
“Yeah, like you said I’ll be fine once we get moving.” She nodded, trying to make herself believe that going for a run was what she wanted to do right now instead of crawling back into bed and bringing him with her. “I bet I’ll be faster than you.”
“I’ll take that challenge.”
~
“Have you got your watch?” Stella asked as she started unlocking the door ready to get going. Waiting for him as he put his phone in his pocket.
“Nah forgot to charge it.”
“I don’t even know why you got one, you never use it.”
“I do,” Kelly replied, as he walked over to her. “I’ll be with you the entire time. Whatever distance and pace yours says will be the same so it’s fine.”
“I guess,” closing the door once they were both through, passing the keys to him after she’d locked it since he had better pockets. “But I told you last night to make sure it was charged.”
“You did,” Kelly agreed. A grin on his face as he remembered the next part, “But then you started making out with me as I was cleaning up from dinner and I wasn’t really thinking about my watch any more.”
“I’ll give you that one. If I was doing all that and you were thinking about where your charger was I’d be kind of insulted.”
“Well then you’re good, because all I was thinking about was you.”
“Exactly how I like it.”
Once they got outside she started setting up her watch, waiting for it to load before they set off so she could keep track of what they’d done. Since they were doing an easy run it was less important, they didn’t need to worry about going at the correct pace or meeting any target, thought it was still nice to know. Evidence she could look back on as why it was worth them being awake and outside so early when she hit the mid-afternoon slump and still had the rest of her shift left and the possibility of calls all through the night.
“You ready?”
“Just a sec….” Stella replied, looking between him and the watch screen. “Okay that’s it, let’s go.” Pressing the button to start the run as they set off.
“You seen Hannah the other night at Molly’s right?” Kelly asked once they were settled into their pace. Since it was still so early in the morning, and cold like she’d made sure to tell him, it was pretty quiet with not too many other people about.
“Yes I did, and I already told you any gossip so I know that’s not why you’re asking.” He liked to pretend he didn’t care about gossip or drama, but he’d happily sit and listen to her and whatever she had to tell him, though there was the argument that he’d be just as happy if she was reciting the alphabet. He just wanted to listen to her and didn’t care what it was about.
“No it’s not.”
“You’re meaning with her being pregnant?” Since their initial conversation outside Molly’s they’d been continuing to talk about their feelings. Feelings about the miscarriage, about Isaiah leaving, about the general shitshow that their lives felt like at the minute. Everything that they’d tried to sweep under the rug for months.
“I am,” Kelly confirmed.
“Honestly, it’s hard. I would’ve been a few weeks behind her. As happy as I am for her, it’s soul destroying every time I start thinking of what we would be doing right now. She found out the gender recently, a little girl...” she trailed off, dropping the sentence while only halfway through, doing exactly as she’d just said, thinking about what-if scenarios and what could’ve been.
Kelly continued the conversation, unsure if she’d stopped because they were running at a decent pace and she needed to get her breath back again, or because of the subject they were talking about. It might be an easy conversational pace they were running at, but it wasn’t an easy conversation. But even still, they had to keep talking about it. Not talking hadn’t made it go away. “Would you have wanted to find out?”
“I think so. I don’t really buy into the whole everything having to be pink or blue thing, but I don’t think I could last so long without knowing.”
“Now that you put it like that, absolutely. Patience isn’t exactly your strong suit.”
Stella swatted his arm, “Like you’re any better.”
“Never said that,” he retorted before he went back to the heavier part of the conversation. “It sucks, seeing everyone else get what they wanted all while we just have to watch."
“Yeah. Makes me feel like doing the right thing and being sure before we started anything, wasn’t really the right thing.”
“I’m still glad we did it that way. I think it was the right thing for us.”
“I know that logically. But it’s hard to not feel like I should’ve done something differently or started trying sooner, or I don’t know.”
“No. I’m glad we were sure, that you were sure, that it was something we wanted. I would’ve never wanted you to do something you weren’t one hundred percent on.”
“I know, so am I,” she paused a second before she finished. “It just feels unfair.”
“It does.”
“But I am happy for my friend and I wouldn’t say any of that to her. It’s not her fault.”
“No its not.” He glanced over at her, checking on her before he asked, “Did you ever tell her about the miscarriage?”
“I never told anyone. Everyone else had stuff going on and I didn’t want it to be a whole big thing. And we’re only just talking about it properly. If I wasn’t talking to you about it no way I was talking to anyone else. It’s not really something I could just bring up in the middle of the common room.”
“We could tell them if you want. Or we could’ve at the time.”
“No,” she shook her head. “Everyone else has all of their own stuff going on. Vasquez started not long after and I already had enough of Pascal doubting my decisions, without giving him any more reason to.” They stopped at a set of traffic lights and she continued her point before they had to start running again, “Even now, work is enough of a mess at the minute with shifts off and the department having no money. I don’t want anyone treating us, or me any differently. If they started walking on eggshells around me it would just annoy me.”
“Okay but if that changes and you want to. It’s your decision,” he told her, just as the lights changed and they started moving again.
Stella nodded at his words. Running for a few minutes before her shoe caught her attention. “My lace is loose,” she told him, coming to a stop again.
He acted before she could, bending down to tie it for her.
“I was just telling you so you’d wait, not so you would do it for me.”
“I know,” he replied, standing up again once her lace was retied. Started running again without saying anything else about it. “I thought you said something about being faster than me?” he shouted as the distance between them increased, she was still standing in the same spot watching him, though it didn’t take long for her to take off running. She’d made the bet and she had no intentions of losing it.
~
After they got back home after their run, they worked around each other while getting ready. Since Kelly wasn’t on shift he didn’t have the same time crunch as she did which meant he tried to stay out of her way as much as he could, letting her get ready first. Made breakfast for them both since he wouldn’t get whatever was going at the fire house. Poured her coffee for her before he went to shower himself.
“Kelly, I’m about to leave!” Stella shouted as she put on her jacket. He had been getting dressed and she wanted to say goodbye before they separated.
He walked out their bedroom, still pulling his shirt on properly. “Okay.” Walked the rest of the distance over to her.
She kissed him as soon as he was close enough, her hand on his cheek. “You said you’ll come by the house later?”
“Yes,” Kelly confirmed, kissing her again. “I’ll let you know.”
“Okay, I’ll see you then.” She noticed the time on her watch, “But I’ve really got to go now or I’ll be late.”
“Aren’t you the only officer there today?”
She thought it over in her head, and realised he was right, that the only other officer was Hermann but he’d went back to just being a firefighter. “Huh, I guess I am.” She smirked, “Well then, since there’s no one to give me into trouble I can maybe push leaving another minute,” reaching to pull him into another kiss.
~
In the early afternoon Kelly headed inside Stella’s office to see her sitting at her desk with her phone in one hand. “Hey babe,” he said, announcing his presence.
Stella looked up from her phone instantly at the sound of his voice, “Hi. I only just saw your text or I would’ve came out to meet you.”
“It’s fine. Still freezing cold.” A smirk as he brought up what she had said to him multiple times that morning.
Stella rolled her eyes at him as he sat in the chair at the other side of his desk. “Do you have any plans to install any billboards at the minute?”
Her question took him by surprise. “Can’t say that I do,” he answered, confused where it have came from but answered her anyway.
“Good, keep it that way.”
“Sure. You gonna tell me what that’s about?”
“Call from this morning. Guy was up installing a billboard and ended up hanging off the side of it.”
“Bad?”
“Not awful. We got him down and to Med. Violet and Novak said he was okay. I just know how you like to keep busy so don’t go volunteering to help anyone with that please.”
Kelly nodded, “I’ll keep it in mind.”
“And the billboard was for a big accident lawyer, who now wants to come by the fire house to talk to me.” She sighed, “And I am not expecting that to go well.”
“Last thing the department needs is losing more money.”
“Exactly. So I’m not looking forward to meeting Uncle Larry.”
“The one on TV?”
“The very one.”
“Well then,” he smirked, thinking of the adverts he’d seen, “let me know how that goes.”
“Will do.” She drummed her fingers on her desk, thinking of anything else she had to tell or ask him about since she’d seen him last. “How’s Van Meter, your text said he’s got you looking into another case?”
Kelly nodded, “I need to go to OFI and talk to Captain Hargrave about it, there’s something not quite adding up. Just stopped by to see you first. Let you know what I’m up to.”
“I guess you had to find something to do or you’d be sitting at home counting down the minutes till I got back.”
“Still got plenty of time for that.”
“But remember I have Girls on Fire tomorrow, and then I’m working at Molly’s as well.”
“I know. My regular seat at Molly’s is calling my name.”
~
“Thank you for doing that,” Stella said as Kelly came back inside after putting the rubbish out.
“Of course,” he brushed her off. With her on the closing shift he wasn’t going to sit about and watch her tidy up, wasn’t going to make her go out in the dark alone to put the rubbish out. Him helping out also had the benefit of getting them home a little bit quicker, two sets of hands better than one. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah, that was the last thing. Let me grab my jacket and we can head.”
Since he’d just been outside he already had his coat on, followed after her while she got hers, watching her thinking of everything they’d talked about recently, being open with each other about how they were feeling. How it was such a contrast to them ignoring things and how much better they both seemed to be for it.
Oblivious to his attention, Stella made her way to the front door, pushing it open so they could finally head home. “You coming?”
“Yeah.” He walked out the door and stood to the side, looking around the street as he waited on her locking the door. His eyes caught the spot they’d stood in what felt like longer ago than just last week that had finally got them talking. “Thank you.”
“For what? Last I checked you didn’t need to thank me for locking a door.”
“Not for that,” he scoffed, pausing as he decided the right words to say. “For telling me how you’re feeling, for being the person I can talk to about how I’m feeling. For being you. As much as I hate everything we’ve been through recently I’m glad that we’re in it together.”
“I’m glad we’re in it together too. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
She kissed him before she changed the subject, “But I’m still going to be holding it over you that I won our race yesterday. No amount of sweet talking will save you from that.”
“Guess we’ll just need to do a rematch then.”
“I guess we will,” Stella agreed. “But can we go home already because it’s freezing out here.”
He put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side in an attempt to warm her up. “Yeah, let's go home.”