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A nameless woman (Lappland, an unknown yet somehow familiar voice whispered in her head) opened her eyes, seeing nothing but the cold metal floor pressed against her bare skin. The room she was in erupted in cheers at the sight, as if she was the most important thing in the world.
"Procedure successful!" "Someone get a hold of her, we need to make sure her vitals are stable!"
Someone got their arms under her, gently rolling her on her back. The woman (Lappland, the voice insisted, Lappland!) groaned in pain as searing light blinded her, feebly (What's wrong? I should be stronger than this.) moving her arms to try and cover her face.
"Lower those lights!" Immediately the lights dimmed, and she opened her eyes to see a woman with pointed ears (Warfarin, you old bat!) staring back at her. All around her more people stood, ready to rush in as needed. A Feline, a Forte, a Perro, a Liberi. Each gap in her knowledge being filled by that voice.
"Are you feeling alright?" The Vampire holding her spoke up, closely watching for any sign of discomfort. "Can you talk?"
"Ahhh- Ghhhh-"
The woman felt frustrated as her body struggled to obey her commands, some deep part of her knowing what to do but too weak to actually do it.
"Easy now, take your time."
(Oh, they think I'm weak?) The voice felt irritated, and the woman let herself draw strength from that.
"Wh... Where are some damn... clothes? You all here... for a peep show or something?"
~~~
A 'reconvener'. That's what she was. She tuned out most of the explanation as she tried to parse what happened. She died, but now she's back somehow, reborn on a new world.
"Of course, Rhodes Island will support you as you adjust. We have specialists on staff who can walk you through any issues you may have."
Warfarin had left after ensuring the woman's condition was stable, running test after test while she was stuck in bed (Infuriating, I spent so much time dodging bed rest in my first life!). In her place she left a Cautus nurse to watch over the Lupo.
"And..." The Cautus stopped, looking expectantly at her. "Do you have any preference on what we should call you? It's entirely your decision."
The woman decided to stick with Lappland.
It's a good a name as any.
~~~
It took two months before Lappland was allowed to wander on her own, her (new) body needing time to adjust and rebuild muscle memory.
But there were challenges beyond just her body, every inch of her aching after just a few hours of movement.
She found herself constantly turning, wanting to make some kind of remark to someone who wasn't there. (Ah, if only Zarro were here to see. All these years, and still the games of man go on.) Every person she met caused an urge to behave erratically to bubble up inside of her; Be nice to this one, threaten that one. (Keep everyone guessing, it's always good for a laugh!) The nurse told her it was nothing but old thoughts being routed down new neural pathways, a momentary affliction that would fade in time, but it still unsettled her.
The worst of it came at dinner one night, when she thought she heard someone mention her name from across the cafeteria. (Are they mocking me? That just won't do. I should get my swords and- ah, wait, I don't have my swords right now. Oh well, that knife I'm holding should work perfe-)
"Are you alright, Lappland?"
She snapped out of her trance and noticed her arm was trembling, clutching her steak knife so hard her nails were digging into her hand and breaking the skin.
She started taking her meals in her room.
~~~
"So, how did you deal with it?"
The solution came when a visitor dropped by. Khorsyn, a fellow reconvener.
"For a while, I didn't. Much like you. 'If I have their body and their memories, clearly I must be them,' right?"
"But something changed." Lappland pushed through a small headache, her inherited memories triggering a sort of double vision. She looked at Khorsyn, the young warrior from the Order of Steel Oath. But at the same time she was also looking at Hellagur, the aged soldier who always had a seemingly endless reserve of candy and stories for the children receiving treatment at Rhodes Island. (Always glaring at me whenever he thought I was up to something.)
"It was his childhood, if you can believe it. To a point, I can recall everything about his life. I could tell you every warrior he fought besides in the Rhodes Island of old. I could teach you a thousand battle strategies he refined or tell you every private thought that ran through his head. Give me some time to focus, and I could give you a list of every meal he ate in any given week. But..." Khorsyn hesitated, and looked down at his hands. "I could not tell you what songs his mother sang to him as a child. Where did he go to school? What lessons did he excel at? Who was his first love? What ran through his heart when he first enlisted?"
He raised his head, eyes locked on to Lappland's own.
"From there it became easy to doubt. It was not my hands who cut down countless enemies of Ursus, or my legs that ran from my homeland after contracting Oripathy, or my choice to dedicate myself to a small clinic. The man known as Hellagur truly died on Terra, but he became my foundation. I have seen his life. I know his regrets and try to avoid making the same mistakes, I know his skills and use them to hone my own. My advice, young wolf," Khorsyn rose from his seat and walked over to Lappland, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Take some time to think. Pour over all the memories you own. If you agree with them to the bottom of your heart then by all means, be Lappland Saluzzo reborn."
"And what if," Lappland forced herself to speak, to give voice to the question she'd been refusing to entertain from the moment she learned what a reconvener was, "I'm not."
What if she isn't Lappland Saluzzo. (I am.)
What if she's just a parasite wearing a dead woman's face. (What a laughable thought.)
"All the better, then." Khorsyn's smile was radiant. "For it means you can be whoever you want to be."
~~~
Digging through all her memories was simple, once she put her mind to it. (Of course, they're mine, after all.)
Like Khorsyn said, her childhood was mostly blank. An overall feeling of resentment, frustration, and suffocation occasionally broken up with small fragments of half-remembered moments. (No big loss.)
But once she reached an attempted rebellion against her father, of her flesh being pierced by the shards of an Originium bomb, details started to come into focus. A month after that, and she could recall even her most innermost thoughts verbatim. She trembled when she realized why:
Oripathy. The same disease that ended her first life. As it settled in, it began patiently cataloguing every trace thought Lappland had and recording it for future use.
Did it copy Lappland's soul?
Did she want it to copy Lappland's soul?
She pushed through, watching through the Lappland's life like a silent passenger. The more she remembered, from the wilds, to Lungmen, to Rhodes Island, to Siracusa, to Nuova Volsinii, to her own death (all the methods to my madness), the more she started to agree with her instincts. The intrusive thoughts, once terrifying in how much sway they held, began to settle around her like a familiar coat.
But...
The more she watched, the more she became entranced by the black-haired Lupo that always took centre stage in Lappland's heart. She felt the fangs of Lappland's old obsession start to snap shut around her throat.
(I want to see Texas.)
She wanted to see Texas.
It wouldn't be fair for Lappland to have all the fun (and there's so many things to see!)
But how could she meet her? (It's been far too long.) Even if she came to Talos-II before the gate went down, it's been well over a century since then. (Not even she's stubborn enough to beat old age!)
(But there's another way, isn't there?) One that she's already familiar with.
If Lappland could get a second chance, (it's only fair for Texas to get the same thing.)
~~~
"Sooooooo, can I ask you for a really big favor?"
Her tiny bunny of a nurse looked up from her terminal.
"Of course, Lappland, what do you need?"
"Now I don't know how Rhodes Island picks someone when making a new person like me, but if it's possible," Lappland could feel her tail wagging, excitedly waiting for her reunion, "could you perhaps grab Texas? Cellinia Texas, we worked together on Terra."
The Cautus started typing away, pulling up century-old files that Rhodes Island held on to all this time.
"Well how Warfarin chooses who gets reconvener treatment is a mystery to me, but I might be able to..." She stopped, her usual sunny smile slowly fading. "I'm... sorry, but according to our records from Terra, operator Texas never contracted Oripathy. It'd be impossible to make a reconvener of her, there wouldn't be any data within the Originium for us to pull from."
Lappland's tail stopped mid-wag. All of a sudden the coat started strangling her.
(notfairnotfairwhymenotherNOTFAIR)
In a small office in Rhodes Island, a white-haired Lupo quietly thanked a Cautus nurse for her help, as the part of her that was undeniably 'Lappland' went silent and still.
It seems she would need a new name after all.