Chapter Text
Vaxildagger whispers: casual guild [Vox Machina] looking for serious new members to fill out mythic raid group, need healers/DPS
……
[Guild] Grogman: thats awful
[Guild] Vaxildagger: you wanna do better?
[Guild] Grogman: vox machina needs u to help kill shit. Be gud or git gud
[Guild] Vaxildagger: brilliant
[Guild] Minxie: make sure they know we are really friendly!!
[Guild] Vaxildagger: I only have so much space kiki I can’t write a novel here
[Guild] VexBankalt6: accepting scrubs 10k gold per
[Guild] Vaxildagger: how to not get members, a story by my sister
[Guild] Angelicpike: is that how they let you in scanlan?
[Guild] Lovebard: wow im going to miss raid night due to crying
[Guild] VexBankalt3: lmao as if he could afford it
[Guild] Vaxildagger: alright please act like normal humans for once I'm sending out invites
[NoMercyPercy has joined the guild]
[Guild] Vexahrrow: good god did you charge him extra for that edgelord name
A hand gripped her wrist tight before she was able to continue that train of thought on the keyboard. Vex eyed her brother and, not for the first time, regretted their decision to place their desks right next to each other- his, a secondhand Ikea deathtrap, and hers, a piece from the 90's they'd found on the side of the road. A few nails in the side and it was totally workable, but a good kick might send it collapsing down onto the huge dog that often served as her under-desk footstool.
“Please do not harass this kid out of the guild, have you seen his gear?”
He released her hand, and she hovered over the new kid's stat information. “Holy shit.” Top tier level stuff, to the point it was a wonder he'd asked to join their little shitshow at all.
“That's what I'm saying. So play nice.”
A glance over guild chat over the last few seconds had her sighing. “He better do hot DPS or I don't know how I will handle this.”
[Guild] NoMercyPercy: Is there an entrance fee to this guild? Who do I need to send it to? The guild leader, or is there some sort of guild treasurer?
[Guild] NoMercyPercy: Oh, I see Vexahrrow is ranked as “moneytwin”, how much should I send her?
[Guild] Angelicpike: no there's no fee she's just joking!
[Guild] Lovebard: I'm always accepting donations
[Guild] Lovebard: or selling dances but there's a line
[Guild] Grogman: a line runnin away from u maybe
[Guild] Lovebard: ya'll are heartbreaking tonight
The rest of the night followed in the same line, with their tight group behaving poorly as always, but the new kid (“Just Percy is fine, please,”) stuck around. Most of their members had known each other for a while now, and though distance separated them in the real world, Vex would not hesitate to call them her closest friends. On nights like tonight, when they had nothing planned for the guild, they all were scattered off on their own, but constantly filling the guild chat with chatter.
When Grog and Pike won yet another PVP duo against the latest unlucky pair, they'd all celebrate. Vax mostly liked to screw around leveling and constantly chatting. Vex spent most of her time sitting outside of the auction house and inside the trade chats. Keyleth had somehow coerced Percy into carrying her through old content for pretty new gear, and by the end of the night had wheedled them all into looking at her lovely new outfit.
Finally, as it grew late, her brother logged off and pushed his chair back, standing up. “I've got to work early tomorrow,” he said, stretching his shoulders and walking to the small kitchen.
[GUILD] Vexahrrow: bye all! we gotta bounce for the night
She received a chorus of goodbyes from them, including a “Farewell, it was a pleasure meeting you,” from the newbie which had her rolling her eyes.
She too logged off, shut her computer down, and followed after her brother. While he shoved leftovers into the ancient microwave, she eyed their 'family calender' posted on the side of the fridge. It was neat, and tidy, and was the backbone of their ability to function. Every Thursday was marked in red as “RAID NIGHT” and was often the highlight of their week. Vex's work schedule was in green, her twin's in blue. In yellow on Tuesdays was “Vex- Kennels” and once on every month was written “VAX- MEETING” in big, bold black.
Rarely was anything else on their schedule.
“I'm working late,” she said, grabbing a fork from the sparse silverware drawer. It stuck a little when she closed it, and by the time she'd rattled it shut, Vax had pulled his macaroni from the microwave and moved to the table. Unlike their desks, it was actually somewhat nice, having been abandoned by the previous tenants of the apartment. Once Vex had suggested they sell it and buy a shittier one, but neither of them had quite decided they were that desperate.
Vex took the seat next to her brother and reached out for his food with her fork. He didn't argue and pushed the bowl between them. “This is shit,” she complained.
“It's dollar store mac I made while you were gone on Tuesday.”
“I don't think even Trinket would eat this.” The dog, who was standing next to her and was still easily tall enough to rest his entire drooling head right on the table, huffed at her when she said his name. Vex spared a scratch with her free hand for her truest love.
“That's because you've spoilt him.”
“Absolutely, completely true, and I will continue to do so until my dying breath. Isn't that right, my big handsome wiggle-butt?” If Trinket had any semblance of a tail larger than a nub it would have been a deadly weapon. As it was, his entire big body shook when he was excited, wagging his whole lower half. He could barely keep his muzzle on the table with the strength of his happiness when Vex baby talked him.
Vax rolled his eyes, but was smiling from the side of his mouth. “You two can finish this, I've got to sleep.” He stood, fully handing her control of what remained of the leftovers before stepping to the sink and tossing his fork in. “Goodnight, sis,” he said, pausing on his way back to lean over and plant a kiss along her hairline.
“Night, Vax.” She waved him away and he retreated to his room, the door quietly shutting behind him. Vex took her time finishing the macaroni, making sure to wash the dishes in the sink thoroughly once done. Trinket stayed at her side the entire time, looking hopeful. Perfectly guilty of spoiling him, she offered him a bite of the last remnants, but true to form he turned up his nose.
“That's right,” she told him, running a sponge carefully over the edges of the fork before rinsing it down, “we are too good for dollar store mac.”
(He kept right in her way by the sink, though, because he was still a dog and just maybe she would end up dropping something good and delicious.)
Her night always ended with a short walk for Trinket. He collected his own leash, she grabbed a (big) bag for big dog waste, her beloved Zune, and, per her brother's well-meaning request, slipped a canister of pepper spray into her pocket. He worried a lot, probably too much- it took quite a bit of debate to reach this point where he'd not be insisting to accompany her on an after-dark walk. As if a giant terrifying dog dog wasn't enough of a deterrent. But as Pike always said, “he just really loves you, it can't be a bad thing,” so she took her tiny pink can of spray and didn't complain.
(Pike did not know that his love and overwhelming sense of protection could be and had been a Bad Thing. They didn't need to hassle their internet friends with real life problems.)
The weather was nice and the walk was long, both of them feeling content later as she brushed first her teeth and then Trinket's, crawling into her own small bed and shortly after being covered in too many pounds of dog. The wall between her's and Vax's room was thin, and once Trinket's breathing slowed and quieted she could hear her twin shifting in bed, occasionally knocking against the wall in his sleep. Sometimes a cat would yowl in the alleyway outside her window, or a car alarm would go off, but these and more were the sounds of her hard-earned home, and Vex slept soundly.
This was how normal nights went for them both.
Thursdays were not a normal night.
On Thursdays, they raided. Despite how much they goofed off the rest of the week in game, they were always serious on raid night. 7pm sharp (at least, in the twins' time zone) they had all better be logged in and ready to go in their best gear, enchantments up and gem slots filled. They weren't the most hard-core of players, but for one night a week, they liked to pretend they knew what they were doing. It also helped that they had a few players from a different guild, which raided on another night, who were happy to join in and help fill out their ranks on Thursdays. They often depended on Kima as their second tank, and Kashaw was a beautiful healer (if not a very social one). There was never a shortage of damage dealers, with a variety of players joining them on various weeks- Jarrett, Zahra, sometimes even Gern, though he was in a very difficult time zone (or maybe he was just difficult).
Zahra and Vex had an ongoing competition for highest DPS, but it had fallen largely to the wayside after Percy's joining. In the following weeks he had proven his entry into the guild by doing nearly 30% more than Vex's very best, even on a bad night. The whole thing was made worse by the fact that he was so casual about it, often offering to help carry her on off-nights for better gear or asking if she needed help figuring out her attack rotation.
Vax thought it was hilarious and took joy posting the dps stats after each encounter.
Tonight, though, things were not going well. It was a different issue each attempt. First Keyleth wiped them all by exploding in the middle of the party. She was very apologetic about the encounter, but as usual when it came to Keyleth, Vax was very forgiving. Next try had Scanlan AFK-ing and doing zero heals- Vax was not quite so forgiving about this. At one point they had the boss down to 5% remaining health... and wiped anyway.
Eventually Vax called for a break.
[Guild] Vaxildagger: lets take 5 alright guys, we're close we can do this lets just pull it back together
[Guild] NoMercyPercy: Have you ever considered a guild voice chat? It might help make it easier; I'd be happy to host a server for one.
[Guild] Vexahrrow: we dont have a mic over here
[Guild] Vaxildagger: actually go ahead and set one up Perc
“I've got a surprise for you, sis.” Vax got up from his chair while his sister stared at him dubiously.
“What did you do?” He ducked into his room for a minute and she called after him, “Vax?”
He returned with a box. “I was thinking about saving this for our birthday, but now's as good a time as any. So, happy early birth, Vex.” He sat back down and slid the box over onto her desk. “I figured if we just set it between our desks it should be able to pick both of us up easily-”
“Did you steal this?” Her voice was very quiet.
“No! No, gods, I didn't steal this, I swear.”
She hesitated, but started to open it. “Where did you get the money for this?” It was a cute little microphone, nothing super special, but presumably perfectly functional.
“I took a few extra shifts, and saved a little, and got it at a closing Radioshack for very cheap. Really, don't worry about it, alright?” He grabbed the dangling wire and plugged it into the top of his tower, letting her set the microphone on his desk close to her.
[Guild] NoMercyPercy: Alright, here's the link; there's no password for now unless you feel that we should end up having one.
“Ugh, come here, brother,” Vex slid her chair over and grabbed her twin in a one armed sitting hug. “You're the best, thank you.”
He hugged her back, shoving her a little. “Yeah, well, I owe you.”
“Oh, shut up. Get the chat working!”
It took a bit to install the drivers, and install the voice host program, and log in. By the time they had fiddled with the sound testing on their microphone and headphones, most everybody was already in the group. Raid for the moment was forgotten while the longtime friends enjoyed being able to speak to each other for real.
“Hello!” Vex greeted, her brother repeating her. A chorus of 'hellos' replied, and the twins grinned. Some voices they already knew (Pike and Keyleth were easy with their phone numbers), some of them were incredibly obvious (Kashaw's halfhearted grunt was a dead giveaway), and some of them she couldn't place without looking to see which name lit up as they spoke.
The next voice pinged as 'Betterbard', a player who joined them on and off when she could, “Uhm, wait a second-”
And then Scanlan- “Wait, Kaylie?”
“...Dad?”
“Since when are you- do you even play this game?”
“What the fuck.”
“Language, Kaylie!”
“Oh, my god.”
Vex and Vax turned to stare at each other wide eyed. He slowly reached out and hit the mute button on the microphone, and then both twins burst into laughter. Trinket startled underneath the desk and Vex patted his head back down, still laughing. “This was worth it.”
“Absolutely.” There had been extensive conversations between the twins on whether or not Scanlan was 12 or 40- imagining him trying to flirt with every member of the raid while his own daughter was in the group was a blessing.
Vax unmuted them. “Ok, family drama aside, are we ready to try again?”
A new voice spoke up. “Is there anything that anybody needs explained to them about the mechanics?”
“I guess I don't really understand the timed dispelling of the curse....” confessed Keyleth.
While she and the previous speaker, who kept pinging as Percy, went over how to dispel without murdering everybody in the raid, Vex felt her phone buzz. She picked it up to see a text from Pike.
'holy shit percy's not 12'
'omg pike he sounds like he should be doing radio commercials'
'he can narrate the audio book of my life'
'maybe I should pretend to be bad at mechanics like kiki just to hear him explain them'
'lmao ouch vex'
'do you think I could get him to call me at night and whisper in my ear until I fell asleep'
“Yo Stubby, do you think you could ready up or should we keep waiting on you texting.”
She slowly slid her phone up next to her monitor with a guilty look that could rival one of Trinket's. “Sorry, I'm ready!” She could hear Pike giggling as she hit the green ready check.
They killed that boss easy, and the next one after only 4 wipes.
It was a good night.