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Published:
2026-02-05
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We Can Swim a Little Longer

Summary:

Each of Lovro’s little gasps, each of Ivan’s groans as soft hands pulled at his hair, all the noise was swallowed up by the heavy blue around them. In this underwater world they didn’t need to slip away behind partitions or delete text messages or meet in parks an hour away from their homes. They could kiss and kiss and kiss without a care in the world. It was a deep water sanctuary and Lovro and Ivan allowed themselves to sink to the bottom. They allowed themselves to love.

—

What if Lovro invited Ivan over to his apartment after their secret kisses at school? What if they allowed themselves to love for just a little longer.

Notes:

This is set in Ivan’s POV and takes place sometime after Episode 5 Clip 4.

I noticed how quiet and tender and soft these recent clips have been and something in my heart just needed to write this.

Enjoy!

Work Text:

Srijeda/Wednesday 17:40

 

“Cozy,” Ivan nodded in approval as he let his eyes sweep over space.

 

Lovro had quietly shut the front door behind them after they entered his flatshare, whispering about Vito being at work and Masa probably taking a nap. Ivan toed off his shoes, not in the entry way where Lovro’s roommates could see, but right after he was ushered into Lovro’s room.

 

It was obviously a girl’s room, or had once been based on the small mirrored vanity or the heels near the closet (“It’s my friend Nora’s place. I’m just staying here while she’s away.”). Still, the place had little bits of Lovro shining through: a wooly denim jacket thrown over the back of a chair, rumbled schoolwork strewn on the desk, a few anime figurines placed atop the dresser. Ivan’s fingers drifted over a collection of One Piece miniatures then toyed with a tiny rubber duck. When he tapped it against the dresser it lit up in a soft whitish gold glow.

 

Lovro stood a little ways away from him, leaning against the wall just observing Ivan observing his room. Lovro still had his jacket on and was fiddling with the sleeve, a nervous tick. He chewed his lips in the cutest way.

 

“Wanna smoke?” Lovro asked. His hands were already riffing around his backpack searching for his stash and rolling papers.

 

“Later maybe,” Ivan said.

 

Lovro paused and his eyebrows furrowed a little perplexed. 

 

“Why not?”

 

Because I don’t want to be high when I kiss you. I want to remember everything. 

 

“Just not feeling it right now,” Ivan said. He tucked the tiny rubber duck into his pocket.

 

“So, you’re just gonna what? Look around at all my stuff?” Lovro asked. 

 

Ivan quirked his eyebrow, smiling. “Am I not allowed to look?” 

 

He let the double entendre hang in the air as he flirtatiously raked his eyes over Lovro’s body.

 

Lovro blushed and looked away. Ivan liked when Lovro got a little flustered. He had this faint red flush that traveled up his neck and tinged the tips of his ears. It always spread to the apples of his cheeks making him look younger than he was. Ivan wanted to hold his face between his palms. He wanted to squish it.

 

When he turned away, a familiar sight caught his attention in the corner of the room.

 

“Ahh I see why you don’t want me looking,” Ivan tsked and took a few long strides towards the record player by the wall. He picked up the black and white vinyl cover leaning against the box. Something warm bloomed in his chest that felt oddly similar to pride.

 

“It’s–it’s Nora’s. She must have left it here before Amsterdam.” The words left Lovro’s mouth in a rush.

 

Ivan hummed and turned it over. That’s when he saw the neon green price sticker. 

 

“Ah Yes, your friend Nora bought this Josipa Lisac record two weeks ago,” A grin split his face, he couldn’t help it. “When did you say she moved out again?”

 

When he turned around again he saw that Lovro was genuinely blushing now, cheeks washed in that youthful pouty pink. He wanted to capture the rosy color. He wanted to paint it.

 

“Like you don’t do stupid things for people you like.” Lovro scoffed but still didn’t meet Ivan’s gaze.

 

Ivan set down the vinyl and walked towards Lovro. He touched two fingers under the other boy’s chin and tilted his head up so that their eyes met.

 

“Of course I’ve done stupid things,” Ivan’s voice was fond and soft. Something in the back of his head buzzed warm and pleasant. “I go to stupid karaoke parties to spend time with boys I like.”

 

A surprised laugh escaped Lovro’s lip and Ivan took his opportunity.

 

Ivan pulled Lovro in for the softest of kisses. Lovro gasped slightly then melted into the touch like honey against the skin. He was always like this when they kissed, tentative at first, like he was still feeling it out before wading past the shallow waters. Ivan’s hands reached up to cup Lovro’s cheeks and Lovro’s hands held onto his wrists like he was scared to be washed away. The longer they kissed the more and more confident Lovro grew and each press of his lips became more and more insistent.

 

Ivan pushed the jacket off of Lovro’s shoulders in one swift motion and it fell to the floor with a soft thud. 

 

Lovro’s lips parted and Ivan chased after him, seeking the taste of sweet cinnamon and woodsmoke that always lingered on Lovro’s tongue. When Ivan nipped at his neck Lovro let out the brightest laugh then tugged Ivan’s arm and pulled him towards the bed.

 

They tumbled onto the mattress in a giddy laughing mess. Ivan’s head hit the pillow and he pulled Lovro closer till they lay side by side, nose to nose. 

 

Lovro’s features were illuminated by the afternoon sunlight that streamed through the wide open windows. His beautiful blue eyes took on an opalescent quality and Ivan could see every fleck of color bathed in the soft light. His lips, slightly plush from their kisses, pulled upwards in a small smile that made Ivan want to kiss him even more. 

 

But even lying down Ivan noticed the slight rigidness of Lovro’s posture. It was the same way he walked through school. With the nearly imperceptible squaring of his shoulders like he was protecting his body from an invisible threat that could appear right around any corner. Ivan would watch him walk across the yard, head hunched, fight or flight.

 

His guard was up even now, alone with Ivan, tucked away in this oasis of this apartment.

 

Ivan kissed Lovro again and reached down to intertwine their hands. Lovro almost automatically pulled away, then as if only just realizing what he did, broke away from the kiss and murmured “Sorry, sorry”. He slid his hand into Ivan’s once more and rubbed his thumb over the skin, an apology hidden in a touch.

 

Ivan searched Lovro’s face for any apprehension, any indication that he should leave, but all he saw was a desperately beautiful boy with hopeful eyes. They held such sincerity, such promise that Ivan’s heart couldn’t help but stutter.

 

Despite Lovro’s protests Ivan sat up. 

 

He reached over his legs and grabbed the navy blue quilt that sat folded at the foot of the bed. In one dramatic flourish he fluffed it out and pulled the blanket over their heads. 

 

Lovro laughed delightedly. “What are you doing!”

 

The sheet ballooned over them, capturing Lovro’s laughter in a bubble of fabric, floating, fluttering down around them.

 

I dream about that laugh. Ivan thought. I want to memorize it. Burn a CD of it. Make a song of it. I’d play it every single night.

 

Ivan pulled the light-up rubber duckie from his pocket and set it in the darkness between them. The faint glow illuminated their skin. Up close Ivan could see the individual moles on Lovro’s face. He could count his eyelashes.

 

“What’s this?” Lovro asked, smiling. His lips quirked up delicately.

 

“We’re underwater,” Ivan whispered, motioning towards the dark blue around them.

 

The expression on Lovro’s face, it was surprised at first. Then after a few heartbeats passed it melted into a look of melancholy that only Lovro could produce. He softly exhaled and closed his eyes as if drifting off into a memory. 

 

Ivan gave into his urges and swiped his thumb along the creasing wrinkles between Lovro’s worried brows. 

 

“Don’t worry.” Ivan whispered. “I know how to swim.”

 

This time when they kissed it wasn’t as soft or as gentle as before. They were the desperate kisses of two drowning men in search of air. Ivan’s kisses were passionate but aching. He nipped along Lovro’s jaw and pressed featherlight kisses on the fading bruise at his cheek. He licked at the corners of Lovro’s mouth and absorbed his soft sighs. 

 

Ivan’s hand trailed under Lovro’s shirt–not insistent or demanding, but reverent–like he was tracing patterns in a puddle of water, watching them ripple across the surface before they disappeared.

 

Each of Lovro’s little gasps, each of Ivan’s groans as soft hands pulled at his hair, all the noise was swallowed up by the heavy blue around them. In this underwater world they didn’t need to slip away behind partitions or delete text messages or meet in parks an hour away from their homes. They could kiss and kiss and kiss without a care in the world. It was a deep water sanctuary and Lovro and Ivan allowed themselves to sink to the bottom. They allowed themselves to love.

 

Suddenly a loud knock rapped against the door.

 

“Lovro! Vito’s coming home soon! We have to decide on dinner.” Masa’s voice rang out behind the door.

 

Lovro nearly jumped out of his skin when they heard the jiggle of a lock, someone trying to get into the room

 

“I locked it,” Ivan whispered quickly to try and soothe Lovro’s immediate panic.

 

“Uh, Masa, can we talk about this later?” Lovro yelled. “I’m kind of tired right now.”

 

After a few tense seconds they heard the sound of footsteps receding and a grumble that sounded like “Aren’t you always”. 

 

Lovro’s eyes closed as he sighed, shoulders easing ever so slightly. 

 

“Should I go?” Ivan murmured. He said the words but he really didn’t mean them,

 

For the first time Ivan understood what people meant when they said ‘love is all-consuming’. He got lost in this feeling and he didn’t ever want to leave.

 

Lovro opened his eyes. They had such clarity. 

 

“No,” Lovro shook his head. He tugged at Ivan’s shirt, the move sent a warm feeling over Ivan’s skin. A tiny smile bloomed across Lovro’s lips.

 

 “We can swim a little longer.”