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There was a thunk at the cottage door, like some one had rapped it with a staff. Granny put her tea to steep and went to open it.
GOOD DAY, MISTRESS WEATHERWAX. Death stepped inside and carefully leaned his scythe against the wall.
Granny said, "Good day. Same problem as last time, I take it?"
Death paused in the act of pulling out a chair. ER, YES?
"But there is also something else?"
I BELIEVE IT IS CUSTOMARY TO HAVE A BIT OF TEA?
"I do have some just about ready, as it happens," said Granny, who had put the kettle to boil earlier because she knew Death liked to participate in human customs. "Have a seat."
After she handed Death his tea Granny watched him take a sip, then resisted the urge to glance down at the floor, where she knew the tea wasn't going. "May I ask?"
When nothing more was forthcoming Death said, I'M AFRAID I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.
"Where does the tea go when you drink it?"
I COULD NOT POSSIBLY SAY.
Granny considered. "Is that also why you have joint problems? Seems to me you should be able to do without."
I SUPPOSE IT MUST BE.
After a long silence, which was not awkward because neither participant was accustomed to feeling awkward, Death ventured, I TRUST MY MESSAGE GAVE YOU SUFFICIENT ADVANCE NOTICE?
"The message was all good and well," Granny said sharply, "but I must say the messenger left something to be desired."
INDEED? I APOLOGIZE ON MY ASSOCIATE'S BEHALF.
"I have never had rats in my scullery. It gave me and You both quite a shock."
I?
"No, You." Granny gestured to the white cat cautiously exiting her hiding place behind Granny's chair.
AH. A CAT.
"It was an offense to her professional pride, you understand."
I AM SURE IT WAS. Death reached down a spectral hand for You to sniff and spoke to the cat. YOU ARE A FORMIDABLE CREATURE. IT IS JUST THAT MY ASSOCIATE IS NOT ALIVE, YOU SEE. You deigned to rub her head against one bony finger.
Granny finished her own tea and said, "Well, let's be getting on with it. Stand up and make yourself solid."
Death complied. Granny felt for the problem and twisted until things clicked back into place.
OW. Death tested his shoulder. MUCH BETTER, THANK YOU. I BELIEVE IT IS CUSTOMARY TO PROVIDE PAYMENT?
Granny said, "Now, there's where you're wrong. I never asks for payment."
BUT PEOPLE OFTEN BRING YOU THINGS THAT ARE USEFUL TO YOU.
"Many people do. But I still help them that don't."
I SEE. Death searched his robes and produced a small bag of something. I HAVE BROUGHT YOU SOME RARE TEA FROM AGATEA. I TRUST IT WILL BE USEFUL?
Granny took the bag and sniffed its contents. In her opinion it didn't seem much different from regular tea, but it would impress the type of person who considered a thing to be better just because it was hard to get. "Thank you. It will be useful when I have important visitors."
THANK YOU AGAIN. I AM SURE I WILL MAKE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT SOMETIME. Death retrieved his scythe, opened the door, and paused. WOULD A RAVEN SUIT?
"I beg your pardon?"
A RAVEN. AS MY MESSENGER.
"I've nothing against ravens."