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Euijoo doesn’t know how it started.
He remembers too much alcohol. Nicholas’s mouth too close to his own. A hand on his waist that lingered longer than it should have.
And then waking up in this same bed.
After that, it never really stopped.
They never talked about it. It was easy to call it friends with benefits because that term was clean and controlled and didn’t require vulnerability.
Nicholas never once suggested it should be anything else, and Euijoo never asked.
Now, the air in Nicholas’s apartment was thick, heavy with the scent of sex and sweat, a heady cocktail that Euijoo had come to crave more than he’d ever admit. He was pinned to the mattress, Nicholas’s weight a delicious, grounding pressure on his back. Nicholas was inside him, but he was torturously still, letting Euijoo feel every thick, pulsing inch of him without the relief of movement. It was a game Nicholas loved to play, a test of Euijoo’s composure, and one that Euijoo was losing spectacularly.
“You’re doing that on purpose,” Euijoo manages, though his voice lacks any real accusation and carries only breathless strain.
Nicholas doesn’t deny it; the faint curve of his mouth is answer enough.
“Come on, Euijoo,” Nicholas’s voice was a low rumble against his ear, the vibrations sending shivers down his spine. He gave a tiny, shallow thrust, just enough to make Euijoo’s breath hitch and his fingers twist desperately in the sheets. “Tell me what you want.”
Euijoo squeezed his eyes shut, his entire body trembling with the effort of holding still. He hated this, loved this. He hated how easily Nicholas could unravel him, how his body betrayed the unspoken agreement they’d made. His own dick was trapped against his stomach and the bed, hard and leaking, desperate for friction that Nicholas was deliberately withholding. “Please,” Euijoo finally choked out, the word barely a whisper. “Move, Nicholas. Please.”
That was all it took. A dark, victorious chuckle was his only warning before Nicholas’s control snapped. He pulled back, almost all the way out, leaving Euijoo feeling achingly empty for a split second before he slammed back in, setting a brutal, punishing rhythm that stole the air from Euijoo’s lungs. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, loud and obscene, a percussive beat to their ragged breaths. Nicholas’s hands gripped Euijoo’s hips, holding him in place as he drove into him again and again, his stamina, honed by countless hours on the basketball court, seemingly endless.
“You feel so good,” Nicholas growled, his voice strained with exertion. “So tight for me.”
Euijoo was reduced to a whimpering, pleading mess, pushing back to meet each powerful thrust, his mind going blissfully blank with pleasure. He could feel Nicholas’s thighs, the ones he’d drooled over during games, flexing against the back of his own, and the thought sent a fresh wave of arousal through him. He was so strong, so relentless.
“Fuck, Euijoo,” Nicholas groaned, his rhythm faltering slightly as he neared his peak. He reached around, wrapping a calloused hand around Euijoo’s neglected cock and stroking him in time with his thrusts. It was too much. With a sharp cry, Euijoo came hard, spilling over Nicholas’s hand and the sheets beneath him in long, pulsing waves. The clenching of his body around Nicholas’s dick was all it took for the other man to follow, burying himself deep with a groan as he filled Euijoo with his release.
For a few minutes, the only sound was their ragged breathing, the air cooling the sweat on their skin. Nicholas collapsed on top of him, his weight comforting for a moment before it became a heavy reminder of everything Euijoo couldn’t have. He felt Nicholas press a soft kiss to his shoulder blade before he finally pulled out, the loss leaving Euijoo feeling achingly empty and vulnerable. Nicholas disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a warm, wet towel to gently clean him up. The careful, almost tender gesture made Euijoo’s heart clench painfully. This was the worst part, the care that felt so real but meant nothing.
“I should get back,” Euijoo said, his voice hoarse as he sat up and started reaching for his clothes. He never stayed over. It was one of his rules, a flimsy barrier to protect his heart.
Nicholas didn’t say anything, just watched him dress from the bed. There was an unreadable expression in his eyes as Euijoo pulled on his jeans and shirt. Just as Euijoo was about to leave, Nicholas spoke. “You're coming to the game tomorrow night?”
Euijoo’s heart skipped a beat. “Wouldn’t miss it,” he said, trying to sound casual. “I’ll be in the usual spot with Yudai, Yuma, and Harua.”
Nicholas got up, pulling on a pair of boxer briefs. Euijoo had to look away, his mouth watering at the sight of his toned chest and powerful thighs. He grabbed his phone and bag, and Nicholas walked him to the door. The silence was heavy.
Euijoo opened the door and turned to say goodbye, but Nicholas surprised him, pulling him in by the front of his shirt and pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. It wasn’t hungry or demanding like their usual kisses; it was slow, and his half-lidded eyes held an intensity that made Euijoo’s knees weak. He released him just as quickly, and Euijoo stumbled out into the hallway.
He paused a street down, leaning against a lamppost and pressing a hand to his chest. His heart was hammering. Nicholas had never kissed him like that before, especially not when he was leaving. He shook his head, trying to dismiss it. Don’t think too much into it.
...
The next day at 4 p.m., Euijoo was walking across the courtyard with Yuma after a shared class. “Euijoo! Yuma!” a voice called out. They turned to see the basketball team sitting at an outdoor table, which included Nicholas, Jo, Fuma, Maki, and Taki. Euijoo’s eyes immediately found Nicholas, and he felt a flush creep up his neck as memories from the night before flooded his mind.
They approached the table. Yuma gave his boyfriend, Jo, a quick kiss. “What’s up?” Yuma asked.
“Strategizing before the game tonight,” Fuma explained, tapping a playbook on the table.
“You’ll do great,” Euijoo said, trying to keep his gaze from lingering on Nicholas for too long. After a bit more small talk, he and Yuma said their goodbyes. As they walked away, Euijoo heard Nicholas call his name. He turned to see Nicholas jogging toward him, something blue clutched in his hand.
Nicholas reached him and thrust the item into his hands. Euijoo looked down, confused. It was a basketball jersey, white with blue trim, with 'WANG' and the number 3 emblazoned on the back. Before Euijoo could speak, Nicholas said, “The others are all wearing jerseys. Didn’t want you to be left out.” Then he turned and jogged back to the table without another word, leaving Euijoo standing there, stunned.
The others wear jerseys because their boyfriends are on the team, Euijoo thought to himself.
Yuma cleared his throat beside him. “That’s awfully nice of Nicholas.”
Euijoo flushed, carefully folding the jersey and placing it in his bag. “It’s what he said. He didn’t want me to be left out.”
Yuma snorted. “Right. It’s not because he’s a possessive fucker who wants everyone to see you with his name on your back.”
“It’s not like that,” Euijoo insisted, though his heart wasn’t in it. Yuma, seeing his distress, let it go.
...
Later that evening, Euijoo sat with Yudai, Yuma, and Harua in their usual spot in the bleachers, seven rows up. He was wearing Nicholas’s jersey, and he loved the way it felt. He’d never admit it, especially with the way the other three were teasing him mercilessly. He’d caught a few curious stares from other students in the stands, wondering why he was wearing the star player’s jersey, but he ignored them.
The players streamed onto the court, and Euijoo spotted Nicholas instantly. He saw Nicholas scan the bleachers, their eyes meeting across the distance. A brilliant smile broke out on Nicholas’s face when he saw Euijoo. Euijoo flushed and gave a small wave. Yudai bumped his shoulder with a knowing smirk.
The game was fast and energetic. Euijoo’s eyes were glued to Nicholas the entire time, mesmerized by his strength and speed, the powerful grace with which he moved. He loved watching him play, loved seeing this side of him that was so different from the Nicholas in his apartment. Two hours later, their team won. The crowd erupted in cheers.
As the stands emptied, the four of them waited for the others to shower. Yudai couldn’t resist one last jab. “You sure that shirt means nothing?” he asked.
Euijoo was about to snap at him when he saw the five players approaching. He shot Yudai a glare that silenced him, and Yudai just smirked and put his hands up in defeat.
Jo went to Yuma, Fuma to Yudai, and Maki to Harua. Taki and Nicholas were the last to arrive. Taki’s arm was draped over Nicholas’s shoulders. “Man, I’m so sick of all you couples,” Taki complained. “It’s just the three of us left.”
Nicholas, with his eyes fixed on Euijoo. “Yeah,” he parroted, his voice low. “Just the three of us left.”
Yuma and Jo quickly pulled Taki away, leaving Euijoo alone with Nicholas. Nicholas stepped closer, invading Euijoo’s personal space, his presence overwhelming. He reached out, his fingers hooking into the collar of the jersey Euijoo was wearing, tugging him just a fraction closer.
“I like the way you look in this,” Nicholas said quietly, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through Euijoo’s entire body. His eyes were dark, intense, and fixed on Euijoo’s lips.
Euijoo’s breath hitched. He could feel the heat from Nicholas’s body, smell the clean scent of soap mixed with the faint, lingering smell of his sweat from the game. “Congratulations on the win,” Euijoo managed, his voice tight. “You looked… really good today.”
Nicholas’s eyes darkened further, a predatory glint in them that Euijoo knew all too well. He took another step forward, crowding him until Euijoo’s back was nearly against the cool concrete wall of the arena. The move sent a jolt of panic straight through Euijoo’s chest. This was too public, too raw.
He panicked and stumbled a step to the side, putting a few inches of precious space between them. “I—”
Nicholas’s expression shuttered instantly. The heat in his eyes cooled, and a mask of indifference slid into place. He seemed to realize what he’d done, the line he’d almost crossed in the semi-empty hallway. He took a deliberate step back, creating a formal distance that felt colder than the air around them.
“We should head off to the party,” Nicholas said, his voice now flat and devoid of the earlier warmth. He turned away from Euijoo, addressing the group as a whole. “Let’s go.”
Euijoo’s heart sank. He had ruined it. He had pushed him away, and Nicholas had retreated. He stood there for a moment, feeling hollowed out, before forcing his feet to move and follow the others out to the parking lot.
...
The party was in full swing, a pulsating mass of bodies bathed in strobing colored lights. The bass was vibrating through the soles of Euijoo’s shoes and up into his chest. He was on his second drink, a lukewarm beer that he’d mostly forgotten about, lost in the rhythm of the music. He was dancing with Harua, Maki and Taki, all four of them laughing and moving without a care in the world. It was easy to get lost in the moment, to let the music and the alcohol wash away the complicated feelings churning inside him.
Nicholas had been swallowed by the crowd the second they’d walked in. He was the star player, and everyone wanted a piece of him. Euijoo tried not to feel the familiar, bitter sting of jealousy. He didn’t own Nicholas. He had no right to feel this way. Still, his eyes kept scanning the room, a traitorous habit he couldn’t break.
And then he found him. Across the sea of people, leaning against a wall near the hallway that led to the bedrooms, Nicholas was already looking at him. The noise, the people, the flashing lights, it all faded away. There was only the intense, burning heat in Nicholas’s gaze, a look so possessive it made Euijoo’s breath catch. Nicholas slowly lifted his chin, a subtle gesture towards the darkened hallway.
Euijoo’s heart hammered against his ribs. He pulled away from his friends, leaning in to shout over the music. “Gonna go find the bathroom!” Harua gave him a thumbs-up, already turning back to Maki to continue their dance.
Euijoo slipped through the crowd, his skin tingling with anticipation. The hallway was darker and quieter, a welcome reprieve from the chaos of the main room. He walked to the very end, to the closed bathroom door, assuming Nicholas had gone inside. He knocked softly, the sound barely audible over the muffled thump of the bass.
The door swung open instantly. A hand shot out, grabbed his arm, and yanked him inside. The door slammed shut behind him, and a second later, he was pressed against the wood, Nicholas’s body flush against his. Before he could even process it, Nicholas’s mouth was on his, kissing him deeply, hungrily. Euijoo moaned into the kiss, his arms winding around Nicholas’s neck, his fingers tangling in the hair at his nape as he kissed him back with equal fervor. He heard the distinct click of the lock being turned.
“What’s gotten into you?” Euijoo gasped when Nicholas finally let him breathe, only to start kissing a hot, wet path down his neck.
“You,” Nicholas growled against his skin, his voice a low, rough rumble. “You’ve looked way too good in my shirt all day. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
Nicholas’s hands gripped his hips, pulling him away from the door and maneuvering him backward until his legs hit the porcelain of the sink. He backed Euijoo up against it, and Euijoo instinctively braced his hands on the cool countertop on either side of his body. He watched, mesmerized, as Nicholas sank to his knees in front of him. The sight made Euijoo’s head spin.
Nicholas slowly hooked his fingers into the waistband of Euijoo’s jeans and tugged. Euijoo shifted his hips, letting Nicholas pull his pants and underwear down in one smooth motion. They pooled around his ankles. Nicholas looked up at him from his knees, his eyes dark and filled with an adoration that stole the air from Euijoo’s lungs.
He was already so hard, aching with need. “I should be the one on my knees,” Euijoo breathed, his voice shaky. “To congratulate you on the win.”
A slow, wicked smile spread across Nicholas’s face. “This,” he said, his gaze dropping to Euijoo’s straining erection, “is my prize.”
Euijoo’s heart skipped a beat. And then Nicholas leaned in and took him into his mouth. The wet, enveloping heat was overwhelming. Nicholas was an expert, his tongue and lips working in perfect rhythm, knowing exactly how to drive him wild. Euijoo’s head fell back, his knuckles white as he gripped the edge of the sink, soft whimpers escaping his lips. The party, the people, it all melted away, leaving only this. Only Nicholas.
A few minutes later, he felt the familiar tightening coil low in his belly. “Nicholas,” he gasped, his hands flying to Nicholas’s hair, trying to push him away. “I’m gonna… I’m close…”
Nicholas didn’t pull off. Instead, he hollowed his cheeks and sucked harder, taking him deeper, and with a choked cry, Euijoo came. Nicholas swallowed everything, his tongue gently cleaning him before he carefully tucked Euijoo back into his pants and pulled them up. He rose to his feet, crowding Euijoo against the sink again, his hands resting on the counter on either side of Euijoo’s body, caging him in. They stared at each other in the dim light, the air thick with unspoken words, their breathing mingling in the small space.
Then, a sharp, aggressive knock rattled the door. “Hey! Get the fuck out already! People need to piss!”
Nicholas rolled his eyes, a flicker of annoyance crossing his face. He pulled Euijoo towards the door, but Euijoo resisted, his mind finally clearing enough to remember. “Wait,” he whispered. “What about you?”
Nicholas smiled, a genuine, soft smile that was just for him. He leaned in and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to Euijoo’s lips. “It’s okay,” he murmured against his mouth. “Tonight was about you.”
He unlocked the door and they slipped out into the hallway. A drunk guy was leaning against the opposite wall, glaring at them impatiently. He wasn’t anyone they knew, so Euijoo didn’t feel the familiar knot of tension in his stomach about being seen leaving a bathroom together. They walked back towards the main party, Nicholas’s hand brushing against his, a small touch that sent a jolt all the way to his heart.
...
A few days later, the nine of them were sprawled across a large table in the sun-drenched courtyard. It was a lazy, comfortable afternoon. Jo and Yuma were sharing a pair of headphones, Fuma and Maki were hunched over a laptop, and Taki and Harua were talking about weekend plans.
Euijoo had a textbook open, attempting some last-minute cramming for an exam, but it was a useless effort. Nicholas was right next to him, fast asleep with his head pillowed on his folded arms, facing Euijoo. Their thighs were pressed together, a warm line of contact that made it impossible for Euijoo to focus on anything else. He watched the gentle rise and fall of Nicholas’s back, thinking he looked adorable like this, all soft and unguarded.
A sharp poke in his side made him jump. He turned to see Yudai giving him a knowing smirk. Euijoo flushed and quickly averted his eyes back to his textbook, pretending to be engrossed in a chapter he's tried reading 5 times now.
Just then, a shadow fell over their table. Euijoo looked up and saw Minjoon, a quiet, sweet-faced guy from his history class. They’d been partners on a project a few weeks back and had gotten along well. Euijoo offered a friendly smile. “Hey, Minjoon.”
Minjoon smiled back, though it looked a bit shy. “Hey, Euijoo. Sorry to interrupt. Can I… can I talk to you for a second?”
Euijoo was surprised, but he nodded. “Yeah, sure.” As he stood up, he felt a shift beside him. Nicholas was stirring from his nap, lifting his head slowly. His eyes, still heavy with sleep, immediately locked onto Minjoon, who visibly flinched under the sudden, intense glare. Euijoo didn’t think much of it, chalking it up to a grumpy awakening. He followed Minjoon to a quieter spot a little farther into the courtyard, under the shade of a large oak tree.
“Thanks for coming over,” Minjoon said, fidgeting with the strap of his backpack. He took a deep breath. “Look, I’m just going to say this. I really like you, Euijoo. And I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me sometime.”
Euijoo’s mind went blank. He was so completely stunned he could only stare. A blush crept up his neck. He should have been flattered, maybe even happy, but all he could feel was a strange, sinking sense of guilt. It felt like a betrayal. They aren’t together, he told himself, but the thought was hollow. All he wanted was Nicholas.
“Minjoon, I… wow,” he stammered. “I’m really flattered. Can I… can I think about it?”
Minjoon didn’t look upset, just relieved to have gotten it out. “Of course. Yeah, totally. Just… text me when you have an answer, I guess.”
Euijoo nodded mutely and watched him walk away before heading back to the table, his mind a tangled mess. What was he supposed to do? Should he pursue a relationship with someone else, someone who could actually give him what he wanted? The thought alone was miserable. He didn’t want anyone else.
As he got closer to the table, he could see it looked like a storm had broken out. Nicholas was leaning forward, his posture tense, and he seemed to be arguing in hushed, harsh tones with the others. When Euijoo reached them, they all went silent. He sat back down in his original spot, feeling the weight of everyone’s gaze on him.
“What?” he asked, looking around.
Harua was the one to break the silence. “What did that guy want?”
Euijoo hesitated, feeling Nicholas’s eyes on him, though the other boy was now staring down at his phone. “He, uh… he asked me out.”
The silence that followed was even heavier. Yuma finally asked, “Did you say yes?”
“I said I’d think about it,” Euijoo said quietly.
Yudai leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms behind his head. “Well, it’s nice to see some people still have the guts to actually tell others how they feel.” He said it casually.
Euijoo just frowned in confusion. Nicholas, however, was glaring daggers at Yudai.
...
That same evening, around 8 p.m., Euijoo was curled up in his dorm room trying to study when his phone buzzed. It was a text from Nicholas.
Nicholas: Come over?
Just two words, but they were enough to make Euijoo’s resolve crumble. He texted back a simple ok and left his dorm. The ten-minute walk to Nicholas’s off-campus apartment felt both endless and far too short.
He was surprised when Nicholas opened the door and the smell of takeout filled the apartment. Thai food, his favorite. “I ordered food,” Nicholas said, his voice gruff. “Sit down and eat.”
They sat on the couch together, the cartons spread out on the coffee table, and put on a movie. It was… domestic. Nice. Euijoo found himself thinking that this sort of felt like a date.
He expected that after they ate, Nicholas would make his move, that the familiar pattern would continue. But it didn’t.
After they’d cleaned up all the food, Nicholas simply dragged him back to the couch, pulling him down to cuddle against his side as the movie continued. Euijoo was confused, but he melted into the embrace, secretly happy and allowing himself to relax.
When the movie ended, they moved to the bedroom. Okay, now, he thought. But again, Nicholas just pulled him under the covers, wrapped an arm around his waist, and murmured, “I’m tired. Sleep over.”
Euijoo froze. This was new territory. He hesitated. “If you’re tired, I can just go home and let you rest.”
“It’s too late,” Nicholas said, his voice muffled by the pillow.
“Then why did you call me over today?” Euijoo asked, his confusion starting to bubble into frustration.
Nicholas shifted, his voice rising with agitation. “Why can’t I call you over just for this?”
“Because you never have!” Euijoo snapped, sitting up and turning to face him in the dark. “You only call me over to have sex, and then I leave. That’s what we’ve always done. So yeah, I’m confused.”
“Maybe I don’t want that anymore!” Nicholas yelled, his voice cracking with frustration.
The words hit Euijoo like a physical blow. He felt the air leave his lungs, a sharp, painful ache spreading through his chest. He scrambled out of the bed, his hands shaking as he reached for his clothes on the floor. “Then it’s over,” he said, his voice choked. “If you don’t want it anymore...”
“Wait, that’s not what I meant!” Nicholas scrambled up after him, grabbing his arm, trying to stop him from pulling on his jeans. “Euijoo, stop.”
Euijoo was confused and heartbroken, and he couldn’t stop the hot tears from spilling down his cheeks. He wrenched his arm away. “What do you want, Nicholas?” he cried. “Just tell me what you want!”
Nicholas looked completely stricken, his face pale in the dim light. He looked terrified, like he thought Euijoo was about to reject him completely. “You,” he whispered, his voice desperate. “I want you. Fully. In every shape and form. Not just one random night or a fuck here and there. I want you to love me like I love you.”
Euijoo stared at him, his tears freezing on his cheeks. All this time… Instead of answering with words, Euijoo closed the distance between them, cupped Nicholas’s face in his hands, and pulled him into a deep, emotional kiss. It was wet with tears and filled with all the unspoken feelings of the past year. “I already love you,” he whispered against his lips.
Nicholas let out a shuddering breath, wrapping his arms around Euijoo and pulling him into a tight, desperate hug, burying his face in Euijoo’s neck. Euijoo hugged him back just as tightly, clinging to him as if he were a lifeline.
“Will you date me?” Nicholas asked, his voice muffled and thick with emotion. “For real. Not in secret. Not friends with benefits. Just… be mine.”
Euijoo hugged him tighter, nodding into his shoulder. “Yes,” he whispered. “Yes.”
They finally lay back down in the bed, tangled in each other’s arms, the tension replaced by a profound sense of peace. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Euijoo asked softly, “How long have you felt this way?”
Nicholas pressed a kiss to his forehead. “From before we even started being friends with benefits,” he admitted quietly. “I was just too much of a coward to say anything.”
Euijoo let out a watery laugh. He couldn't believe it. All this time, all the secret pining… and Nicholas had felt the same way. They were both so stupid. “I can’t believe we wasted so much time,” he murmured, pressing his face into Nicholas’s chest. “We could have been actually dating this whole time.”
Nicholas’s arms tightened around him, a low chuckle vibrating through his chest. “I know. We’re idiots.” He was quiet for a moment, stroking Euijoo’s hair. Then, his voice took on a slightly different tone, a familiar, possessive edge that Euijoo now recognized as jealousy. “So… are you going to let down that Minjoon guy?”
Euijoo pulled back just enough to see his face. In the dim light from the streetlamp outside the window, he could see the pout forming on Nicholas’s lips, the slight furrow of his brow. He was sulking. The sight was so endearing, so utterly Nicholas, that a wave of affection washed over Euijoo, so strong it almost hurt. He started to laugh.
Nicholas’s pout deepened. “What’s so funny?”
“You,” Euijoo giggled, leaning in to kiss the pout right off his lips. It was a soft, sweet kiss, full of amusement and love. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous,” Nicholas grumbled, but the effect was ruined by the way he instinctively chased Euijoo’s lips for another kiss.
Euijoo smiled against his mouth. “I already texted him,” he said softly. “Hours ago. I told him I couldn’t go out with him because I liked someone else.”
Nicholas stilled, pulling back to look at him properly, his eyes searching. A slow, smug grin started to spread across his face. “Yeah?” he asked, his voice dropping to that low, confident rumble that always made Euijoo’s stomach flutter. “This ‘someone else’… he better be me.”
Euijoo rolled his eyes playfully. He wrapped his arms around Nicholas’s neck, pulling him down until their foreheads were resting together. “It’s you,” he whispered, sealing the promise with another kiss. “It’s always been you.”