Chapter Text
Sawamura Daichi has added sneaky snek to the chat.
Bokuto’s babe: WHAT THE HELL SAWMURA
Bokuto’s babe: WHAT
Bokuto’s babe: WHAT IS GOING ON WHY DO YOU HATE ME
Sawamura Daichi: Kuroo, why are you so angry?
Sawamura Daichi: He’s a captain, isn’t he?
Kuroo’s babe: nah sawamura kuroo just hates him
Kuroo’s babe: idk why tho he seems pretty decent
queen bitch: who is this guy????
Kuroo’s babe: he’s the captain of Nohebi
Bokuto’s babe: HES A LYING CHEATING ASSHOLE AND HE SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE
queen bitch: where is he anyways?
Bokuto’s babe: probably sucking some guy off
Sawamura Daichi: Kuroo, don’t be rude!
Kuroo’s babe has changed Sawamura Daichi’s name to Dadchi.
sneaky snek: hello
sneaky snek: what the hell is this
sneaky snek: and thank you for defending my honor sawamura, how valiant of you ;)
Bokuto’s babe has left the chat.
Kuroo’s babe: jesus christ
Kuroo’s babe has added Bokuto’s babe to the chat.
queen bitch: hi i’m oikawa tooru
queen bitch: you might know me as the grand king
queen bitch: i’m like the best setter in the whole miyagi prefecture
queen bitch: awaiting your praise
sneaky snek: oh yeah you’re on aoba johsai
sneaky snek: the team that could never beat shiratorizawa?
Ushijima Wakatoshi: If he had come to Shiratorizawa, that wouldn’t have been a problem.
queen bitch: FUCK YOU USHIWAKA AND FUCK YOUR TEAM I HATE YOU
Bokuto’s babe: hey oikawa wanna bond over hated rivals
queen bitch: GLADLY
tongue ring: what the hell
tongue ring: this is what i walk in on
tongue ring: seriously what the hell
Kuroo’s babe: TERUSHIMA
Kuroo’s babe: HEY HEY HEYY SWEET CHEEKS
tongue ring: yeah hi
tongue ring: why is kuroo so mad
queen bitch: you wouldnt understand
queen bitch: hes an innocent child someone cover his ears
tongue ring: FUCK YOU OIKWAW IM ONLY A YEAR YOUNGER THAN YOU GUYS
Dadchi: Terushima, watch your language.
tongue ring: BUT HE STARTED IT
Dadchi: I don’t care who started it, I’m ending it.
tongue ring has changed Dadchi’s name to Big Daddy D.
Big Daddy D: Real mature, Terushima.
sneaky snek: damn daddy
Bokuto’s babe: gross
Ushijima Wakatoshi: Why are you calling him daddy?
sneaky snek: would you rather i call you daddy instead? ;)
Ushijima Wakatoshi: I just asked Tendou what that meant and he started laughing.
queen bitch has changed the chat name to Save Ushiwaka 2k16.
Kuroo’s babe: tell tendou i say hi!!!!!
Ushijima Wakatoshi: Tendou says hello.
sneaky snek: wait is kenma in this chat????
sneaky snek: hes not a captain????
Big Daddy D: Actually, that’s just Bokuto.
sneaky snek: tetsurou you dog
Bokuto’s babe: fuck off
tongue ring: whos this snek guy
tongue ring: im very confuzzled
Bokuto’s babe: NO ONE YOUR INNOCENT MIND NEEDS TO KNOW
sneaky snek: im daishou suguru, captain of nohebi academy volleyball club
sneaky snek: who are you
tongue ring: im terushima yuuji from johzenji
sneaky snek: do you actually have a tongue ring
tongue ring: you bet
sneaky snek: das cute
Big Daddy D: YOUNG LOVE
queen bitch has changed Big Daddy D’s name to proud dadchi
Bokuto’s babe: NO TERU GET AWAY FROM HIM
Kuroo’s babe has changed the chat name to kuroo is a protective dad.
proud dadchi: Kuroo, be nice.
Bokuto’s babe: IM ALWAYS NICE
queen bitch: right and im a virgin
Bokuto’s babe: OIKAWA YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE
sneaky snek: get rekt tetsu
Bokuto’s babe: FUCK YOU
sneaky snek: oh tetsu, at least take me out to dinner first
Bokuto’s babe: im out
Bokuto’s babe has left kuroo is a protective dad.
Kuroo’s babe: le sigh
Kuroo’s babe has added Bokuto’s babe to kuroo is a protective dad.
Bokuto’s babe: why do u do this
Kuroo’s babe: soz babe luv ya
Bokuto’s babe: youre tacky and i hate you
Kuroo’s babe: :((((((((((((((((
queen bitch: when the otp breaks up
Ushijima Wakatoshi: The what?
queen bitch: you wouldnt know go away
Ushijima Wakatoshi: Tendou is reading over my shoulder and he asked if you wanted to fight.
queen bitch: im sooooooo scared
Kuroo’s babe: bro youre dead lmao
Bokuto’s babe has changed the chat name to rip trashykawa .
queen bitch: heyyyy only iwa-chan can call me that :(
proud dadchi: Guys, don’t be mean to Oikawa.
sneaky snek: listen to daddy
Bokuto’s babe: gross
proud dadchi: Kuroo, be nice.
Bokuto’s babe: HE JUST CALLED YOU DADDY ARE YOU NOT SEEING THIS
proud dadchi: He’s a very nice boy, and I think that you shouldn’t be so mean to him. He’s done nothing wrong.
sneaky snek: aww thank you sawamura :)
Bokuto’s babe: NOTHING WRONG??????
Bokuto’s babe: HES A CHEATER AND A LIAR AND HE MANIPULATES SOFT PEOPLE LIKE YOU INTO THINKING HES AN ANGEL
sneaky snek: tetsu i would never do anything like that
Bokuto’s babe: YOU FUCKING
queen bitch has changed Bokuto’s babe’s name to plz halp me.
tongue ring: lol
plz halp me: TERUSHIMA MY SON
plz halp me: STOP LAUGHING AT MY PAIN YOU DONT KNOW ANY BETTER
tongue ring: lolol
plz halp me: TEru
Ushijima Wakatoshi: Is this chat going anywhere?
Ushijima Wakatoshi: Because Tendou wants me to stop looking at my phone.
Kuroo’s babe: hooT HOOT
sneaky snek: aww wakatoshi i thought we had something special
queen bitch: “something special” lmao you asked if you could call him daddy and now youre suddenly on a first name basis
Ushijima Wakatoshi: i need a name, place, muscle size
plz halp me: wut
Ushijima Wakatoshi: DID I FUCKING STUTTER
Ushijima Wakatoshi: THAT SNEK GUY
tongue ring: lol
Kuroo’s babe: oh i see
Kuroo’s babe has changed the chat name to you are now now rocking with will.i.am and .
Kuroo’s babe: bro back me up
plz halp me has changed Ushijima Wakatoshi’s name to tendou bitch.
Kuroo’s babe: brooooooo
plz halp me: brooooooo
tendou bitch: WHO IS HE
queen bitch: his name is daishou suguru hes pretty cute
sneaky snek: aww bae <3
tendou bitch: WHY IS HE CALLING MY MAN DADDY
tendou bitch: oBgwiubviubvsdzilhbcieuqob
tendou bitch: I got the phone back.
queen bitch: dammit
proud dadchi: Oikawa!
queen bitch: >:(
proud dadchi: Do you want me to tell Iwaizumi on you?
queen bitch: iwa-chan would never get mad at me for being mean to ushiwaka
proud dadchi: Oh yeah that’s true.
plz halp me: daichi tell tsukki to text me back
plz halp me: i just wanna talk
tongue ring: yeah “talk” ;)
Kuroo’s babe: WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH A DIRTY MIND YOU ARE A CHILD
tongue ring: ;(((((((
Kuroo’s babe: dafuq is that
proud dadchi: Tsukishima says to tell you to stop texting him. He’s “studying”.
proud dadchi: I know that Yamaguchi went over to his house, though.
tongue ring: hey daishou wanna study and chill? ;)
tongue ring: fyi im in class 7 so i wont have to study much ;))))))))
sneaky snek: oh um
sneaky snek: sure
plz halp me: lol someone is flustered
Kuroo’s babe: NICE KILL TERU
sneaky snek: IM NOT FLUSTERED GO AWAY KUROO
tongue ring: its okay babe im known to have that effect on people ;)
sneaky snek: slkvnsoirbgoscvjxncalksd
sneaky snek: SHIT i didnt mean to send that
queen bitch: this is getting really gay really fast
queen bitch: like 0 to blowing your boyfriend in a janitors closet real quick
plz halp me: so proud of you my son :’3
tongue ring: :D
tendou bitch: I agree with Oikawa, this is pretty gay.
Kuroo’s babe: werent you with tendou lolollolollololololol ;))))))))
tendou bitch: I was, but my phone kept buzzing.
queen bitch: YES I COCK BLOCKED USHIWAKA
queen bitch: TAKE THAT HA
tendou bitch: Come be a cock block at Shiratorizawa.
queen bitch: …
sneaky snek: i think hes broken lmao
Kuroo’s babe: WAIT FOR IT DAISHOU
proud dadchi: Why the yelling?
plz halp me: shhhh here it comes
queen bitch: i cant
queen bitch has left you are now now rocking with will.i.am and.
Kuroo’s babe: BOOM
plz halp me: THere IT iS
sneaky snek: now that hes gone lets talk shit about him
plz halp me: this could turn into mean girls vv fast
Kuroo’s babe has added queen bitch to you are now now rocking with will.i.am and.
queen bitch: i knew you guys would want me back ;)
plz halp me: did you see what daishou said
queen bitch: oh its fine i would do the same if he left the chat :)
Kuroo’s babe: fuck this is gettin real
tongue ring has changed the chat name to oikawa vs. daishou.
sneaky snek: you have a cute face sweetie
sneaky snek: dont make me mess that up :)
queen bitch: you talk a big game for someone who cant even get to nationals :)
sneaky snek: look whos talking hun :)
plz halp me: *calls yaku* mom can you pick me up im scared
Kuroo’s babe: those smiley faces are full of hatred and contempt
proud dadchi: Okay guys, retract the claws.
tongue ring: youre both pretty
queen bitch: thank you terushima
queen bitch: at least i actually have someone who tells me so on a daily basis :)
Kuroo’s babe: oh shit
tendou bitch: As they say; that was below the belt, Oikawa.
Kuroo’s babe: RIIIIIIGGHHHHTTT?????????
plz halp me: as much as id love to see daishou get rekt, i have to go give my fish a bath
Kuroo’s babe: i have to go help my bro with that bath so bye
tendou bitch: This is making me extremely uncomfortable, so I am going to mute my phone and go hang out with Tendou.
tongue ring: imma leave too peace out
proud dadchi: Play nice, boys.
queen bitch: same time tomorrow?
sneaky snek: of course
queen bitch: love ya!
sneaky snek: love you too ;)