Chapter Text
The king of Hell had a very close connection when it came to rubber ducks, toy ducks, real ducks, any kind of duck really. Especially given he was currently lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he held two he'd made himself, one duck looking like him, the other resembling Charlie.
He let out a dreary sigh as he placed them down beside him. He had been ordered by Charlie to rest after the whole Vox ordeal.
He'd been thinking about his marriage the past few days, about what he must've done wrong to push Lilith away so suddenly and coldly. He couldn't remember doing anything awful to her, he couldn't even remember doing anything remotely wrong to her, not in his eyes anyways.
He rubbed his eyes gently trying to think of something. He'd read every duck novel and listened to every musician. He'd even watched Quack! The Musical but nothing seemed to bring him any joy.
He turned onto his side stiffly, closing his eyes for his...5th nap of the day? It wasn't like he had anything else to do anyways.
The pain medication Belphegor gave him must've started to send him a little loopy, as he began to dream he was sitting on a cotton candy cloud floating through what seemed to be Miami as a flock of geese chased after him.
"Back, geese back.." He slurred into his pillow.
His dream eventually found him having some sort of sword fight with the big goose boss, but something caught his attention, it sounded like...
Knocking?
The king's eyes opened quickly, Charlie must be at the door, or Charlie's girlfriend, or whatever the rest of them are called.
He stood up quickly, wobbling slightly from the sudden awakening.
"Don't worry, Charlie- sweetie, daddys coming!" He called still half delirious, almost tripping over his long, fluffy dressing gown.
He swung the door open, rubbing his eyes with a rather goofy smile as his messy hair flopped over his eyes.
"Here I aaaam here to answer your calls, or anything you need or you know...anything." he chimed in a little musical tone.
"My my, my king, you really have let yourself go." A very familiar voice mocked.
"Oh now Charlie don't worry I am fi-" Lucifer paused, his eyes shot open and looked up quickly. Ooooh great. Great. The tall, creepy, lanky, freakish, annoying, red bastard.
The short king watched as he peered down on him, his weird wide smile stretching from one eye to the other. Eugh.
"Can't you read the sign," He drawled, making a big emphasis on the shiny golden sign next to his door. "Nooo Aaalastooors aaalloooowed" he continued.
Alastor's smile widened, his eyes crinkling at the at the corners. It almost looked as though his eyes had started to glow with rage.
'Oh he is so easy to annoy' Lucifer thought amused.
"Yes, sire, I can assure you I can read perfectly fine." He stilted, his fingers tapping along his cane slowly.
"Okay then- uhhh what are you doing here then?"
"I'm here to offer you some help."
"Help. From you. Really." Lucifer responded with a deadpanned tone.
"Yes, your majesty! Exactly that!"
"pfft- do you really think I would take help from you of all sinners?"
"You haven't even heard my offer yet." Alastor lent onto his cane, a relaxed expression washing over his face.
"Yeah and I don't really want to."
"I think it's something that would benefit you and Charlie rather well..." The demon continued, looking down at his fingers as he smirked. "Oh well, I'll listen to your orders and go." He said quickly, straightening himself up.
"Help me and Charlie-"
"No no," Alastor waved it off as he began to snake away. "you said you don't want to hear it sire, I wont tell you~"
Lucifer groaned, leaning against the doorway as he looked to the floor. This demon was cunning, he'll give him that.
"wait." He growled.
Alastor stopped, a predatory grin slithering across his face.
"Come in."
The demon's eyes sparkled with amusement as he swung round with self satisfied ease, each step oozing with confidence as he got closer.
"How polite of you~" he cooed as he brushed past into the apple's room.
The first sight to Alastor was...ducks. Lots of yellow rubber ducks. He had to hold in a snort as he looked around, all he could think of was how pathetic this all was.
His eyes wandered to the portraits on the wall, the Morningstar family standing together proud, pictures of Charlie when she was young, pictures of Lucifer on his own, and then he landed on a particular one, a painting of Lucifer and Lilith standing side by side. The deer narrowed his eyes slightly as some radio static cut through the heavy silence.
"Sooo..." Lucifer began uneasily. "come on then, tell me what your deal is so I don't have to look at your face for much longer."
"Aah yes," Alastor spun round on his heels quickly, casually strolling closer to the short king. The height difference was unbearably noticeable, it made the deer even more amused as he gazed down at him. How could such a powerful being look so vulnerable.
"I happened to notice that you look rather, how should I say? Weak, small, powerless, you really don't hold much of a threat to Hell anymore do you~?" The deer purred, amusement lacing every word.
"Oh yeah real flattering you're really helping your case here aren't you."
"And that is why I've come to see you today. I seem to be in a small predicament myself, and it's making it harder for me to do what I have to do."
Lucifer let out a long stretching yawn as he laid down onto his bed, looking as though he'd rather watch paint dry.
"My deal," He growled. "is that you heal this angelic wound I got from protecting your dear Charlotte Morningstar. In return, I will lend my protection to the hotel, Charlotte and specifically you if any force threaten what is yours. I shall stand by your side in service of throne and the order of Hell."
"wait.....ThAtS iT?" Lucifer asked, half shocked, half cautious.
"That's it! Pretty enticing isn't it?" Alastor stepped closer, his eyes becoming brighter, his smile wider as he stretched out his hand, his powers beginning to glitch, screams of terror filling the air.
"You could almost call me your p̵̧̜̣͉̮̻͇̼͕̃̿̾̆̃͐è̷̝̜̊̊r̴̛̥͇͎̼̮͌͆̕͜š̷̡͈̘͉̺͔͈̖̜̽̅̀́͑̂o̶̢̢̯̟̺̬̯̞̾̆̀n̷̲̞͈͕̦̯̠͉͋̑͋̋́̓͌͘ã̵̬̗̣̜͉ͅļ̵̡͚͉̰̫͙̒̓̇̄̄͝ ̷̨̡̥̤̙͓͇͊̿͊̀̌̃̈̃̑͝e̵̯͈̘͖̺̙͈̖̩̾̅x̶̮̞͂̌̇̄̍̊̐o̷̢̪̫̥̮̓̃c̸̢̗̘̘̻̭̄͗̏͆̌̕ũ̴̧̙̫̋͑̽̕ț̵̡̱̙̲͚̦͕̤̃͛̇̅̏̽̕͝͝i̴̧͇̰̱̲̰̻̜͒̒̿̆̚ͅó̵̰̯͉̳̤̥͍͖̤̚̚n̶͈͐͑̍̓͘̚ȩ̶̯̭̻͈̖̥̲̥̀̇̽̈͗̄͊́̚͝ṟ̶͉͇̈́̓̃͐̍̄̑̿ ."
Lucifer clicked his tongue, sighing and looking over at his pain medication. He couldn't let this happen again.
Never again.
"It's a deal."
They locked hands, power waving around them as they could practically feel their souls being tied together. The lights flickered, a red and green aura hovering around them as radio screeches filled the room.
Even after they had let go power still sparked between their hands. Lucifer had to admit it was probably the most energised deal he'd ever made with a sinner.
"Good. Well now that's done I suppose you can see yourself out." Lucifer mumbled, opening the door.
Alastor strolled out with ease. He felt empowered, it felt exhilarating, by God perhaps it was the best deal he had ever made.
He was about to walk away down the hall when suddenly he stopped again.
"Oh, Lucifer." He chimed.
"What now??"
"Would you sign this for me?" The deer pulled out a single sheet of paper with the smallest handwriting Lucifer had ever seen, and a Signature space at the bottom.
"I would if I could actually read it? The hell is this?" Luci asked, the paper directly up to his face trying to read it.
"It is simply an 'in paper' form of our deal." Alastor quipped. "You can read through it if you want, everything I have stated is on there, written in ink."
"If I sign it, will you go away?" The king asked.
Alastor smiled innocently, nodding his head.
Lucifer rolled his eyes before signing it quickly.
"There, done. finished." Lucifer practically shoved the piece of paper into Alastor's chest. "Now don't come to see me until you want your wound fixed or whatever."
"Whatever his majesty wants~" Alastor smiled innocently, causing Lucifer to frown and shut his door quickly.
The deer gently folded the piece of paper and slotted it safely into a pocket inside his jacket.
"Oh my little king," he mumbled looking back to the door. "what you've just done."