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Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of god

You've got to be kidding me... I swear that clock is broken... 

I grumbled staring at the clock on the tan walls of my bedroom only 1:25 A.M? I've been up for hours staring into the ceiling and clutching my cross like it would help

I couldn't get my thoughts off everything my parents, the church, the Wine bottles in the plastic bag, or the staring across he desk, the hand, the ring, his eyes tared so deeply into mine yet shallow He held me so comfortably against his chest a low groan emptying from his lips his hands groping...

Rising quickly out of Bed I gasped turns out  I had been staring into the wall again. spaced out half asleep.. school was in only 6 hours and this entire time I had slowly been starving myself of sleep with Absolute nonsense, guilt had piled slightly in me over the months I had been thinking of him, the summer visits we had were gone in memory and Now it felt so distant..

"You know if you ever need help you can come to me Alright?" How was i supposed to sleep when all that came was his arms wrapped around me and slowly suffocating me, intoxicating breath, not like my father's suffocation not the church or the motherly figure that sat by... not the Smell of beer on my dad more like a scent of cleanliness or roses, a liquor to show the way, 

My father really ingrained his religious bullshit didn't he.. in my bruised ribs, in the walls of our home with the hidden playgirl magazines hidden under  my mattress tucked away like it was a crime, Sin.

With an low sigh i laid back into bed an cold sweat running down the side of my face short black locks smothered into my pillow as I pushed my face into the mattress hoping my eyes would finally shut that my mind would go somewhere else my hands gripped onto my covers pulling them up over my head.

Crying.. tears fell onto the razor my dad held my head over the sink staring into the mirror as he grabbed at my bloody smeared thighs my jeans ripped off of me as he screamed into my ear and began to mumble verses about god.. my mother pleading at the same time she stared in disgust.

"You'vve got Be some Siissy! F-Fag.. Look at yourself, Danny! You think God's gonna Take You in?. Look at your body! It's dirty."

He held my face in the dirty palms of his hands his spit hitting parts of my face as he held me by the collar of my unbuttoned shirt,  after a good kick in the side and slam to the floor My shitty drunkard of a father walked out on me, Mama just standing there like a deer in the headlights...

My dreams couldn't of haunted me more I woke up feeling like total shit my mother and father already out the door.

Thankfully since my parents got up earlier I had the chance to take the bus to school it generally took 25-35 minutes since there usually wasn't that many teenagers in the district.

the sky was a dark blue, foggy and slightly cold a breeze chilling more as I stared and watched out of the window my thoughts running over the possibility of today, geography, a lab in science, English.. Algebra.. one of the worst subjects taught ever  even tho from 1th through 7th period everything was decently easy for Comphresion,

yet algebra if it wasn't for the already guilty yet strained relationship with god i would of swore I prayed everytime before a test it wasn't so bad tho

He would slip his hand over mine his cold ring pressing into my soft knuckles his breath and his voice taking over the classroom that ran with chaotic teenagers.. they all didn't see it, but I did.. maby because they didn't care or maby because they thought it was funny to see the Faggot get Sexually harassed by his teacher. 

The bus came to a rolling stop infront of the high-school and I sighed breaking thought my bag shuffled. 

Eighth period wasn't so bad.. only if it wasn't for the fact I had to go home, but at the same time my parents didn't come home till late and that's if they didn't go get off in some bullshit..  I had alone time with him basically my Math teacher he definitely was busy a lot but with the way tutoring was and the fact the high-school district didn't care rather or not you went home We had all the time we needed.  There was times he could even come Home with me... Take care of me.. be my father, be my mother? my God.

One night sneaking through his house so nervously i felt bad... a Divorce definitely wasn't good for the either of us.  The smell? It smelt like lazy candles and a almost dramatic scent of air fresheners almost comedic. A decently big guy like him..  I could hear a lazy stumble and sick sounding vouce echo out to me from the kitchen the glass of wine poured over the side of the counter into a separate glass an fragile look in his eyes. Desperate. 

"Im sorry for the mess.. I know it's kinda chaotic in here with all the boxes. You know she's been moving stuff and everything so i haven't had the time to pick it up" 

I had never drank alcohol besides from the Pope my cross necklace hanging low as I sat next to him across from the coffee table his ring was gone. He got rid of her just for his sake, Or was it mine.

"I know the church probably gives smaller amounts but i know it's been stressful for the both of us."

"You want me to get drunk with you.. Michael? Me?" 

"We don't have to if you really don't want to.. it just takes the edge off for me.. for later."

I knew he was definitely hurting inside? But getting me all drunk and stupid? Just to fade the guilt away from having sex with me? Really? Oh well.. what's the worst that could happen? My parents didn't get back late till anyway and they would just assume I was asleep.

"Its funny tasting.. I know." Cough.. Sputtering- "shit- they don't give the expensive kind like this out in the church.-" i lurched at the dry feeling in my throat.. white wine. I managed to choke the glass down and cough a low chuckle and slight smile curling across his face as he watched me dramatically act like I was choking to death.. clearing my throat.

Later that Night I felt fuzzy.. I could barely remember or Comprehend the situation I was in.. his body or his words.. I see why he gave me a smaller glass.. it felt warm with him.. flushing gave me color from the intoxication and the kissing across my neck we slipped past the boxes and the divorce papers and the bullshit of religion into his bedroom.. my parents would never know the safety of a heaven inside a man's bedroom.. that morning I woke up next to him.. I slipped back to my house walking for a good hour.. to lay back in bed and dream of our future nights together a mark on my neck to show it.

"Someone looks like utter shit." My friends voice muttered off to me as she nudged into my arm with an playful tease.. Sasha had been there for me. Rough and thin, thick or hard.. she didn't know what kept me awake at night nor the relationship I had with my Math teacher but it always made me feel better that she cared, Some nights she even helped me get better with my Self-mutilation.. bandaged me up while my parents were out so I never had to worry about having a Girl in my room, even tho she clearly knew I was A homosexual.

"Not very good sleep.. i can barely keep my eyes open.. feels like im about to go into cardiac arrest practically With how hyper aware and tired I am."

Think' they'll use your dead body for science class..?" She hummed sarcastically and smiled bending her forearms against the desk pushing into my personal space

"Hopefully, anything to get me out of this classroom.." people were always rude around this period.. pushing, slamming, teasing, it never ceased at school or at home always just the same people, same bullshit, same fights..

My dad broke my nose once because I punched a kid for calling me "Daddy's little bitch toy.." the asshole had it coming... he shouted at me and told me that wrath was a sin and that the lake of fire would swallow me whole.. Hypocrite Never knew the story about throwing rocks in a glass house..

Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
    but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

funny..

"Sooo are you gonna stay after school?." My friend chimed again pulling me out of lamenting thoughts.. "ehh.. not today.. My parents want me to come home early to pray and have "Church night." i watched as my friend pulled an exaggerated face and sighed with understanding sinking back into her seat to focus on the lesson an low dramatic mumble coming from herm "alrright.. fine, but hey if anything goes wrong or if you the time call me.. okay."

"Alright."

Church night? Again.. church night was family night.. my mother came up with it to keep us.. I guess stable. She wanted us to all hang out in the living room and read passages while playing shitty outdated board games.. Most times I managed to swindle myself out of it. Homework.. dead cat, sickness, dad is too wasted.. it was sweet atleast from her to do Something. But it ate my soul to have to sit around my father.

Throughout the day i groaned and whined about my exhaustion.. till the end of 7th period came.. 8th algebra... I looked terrible.. and borderline couldn't keep myself up straight but the thought of sitting next to Mr baker kept me going. I couldn't help as my head drifted off onto my desk and laid smooth against the cold wood an calming sudden chill hitting me. My eyes beginning to flutter slightly as I watched a dark sleepy haze come down on me. "Danny." Mmmgh?. Huh

"Danny There's no time to be sleeping in class, we have a test coming up.." my teachers calm voice pulled me out of sleeping as I groaned slowly lifting my head to stare up at hiim Luckily nearly every student was in pairs or grouped together and all in separate parts at the front of the classroom while I was in the back next to his desk..

there were time's of course, when people gave us werid looks.. but it didn't hide the fact that nobody really paid attention or careMr baker stood over me with his arms crossed a scent of cheap cologne his wife probably bought him.. before he divorced her of course for being a gay man

"Danny i expect to see a raise in your grades and I can't have you dozing off in class.. how about you sit next to me?. Really..? I nodded slowly still sleepy an gentle smile and slight smirk brushing his face i stood up slowly pulling an chair with me behind the slightly cramped space of the desk it was a heavy duty wooden one with drawers in it that pulled out

With an slight swallow and gulp I watched as he walked around me and sat down in his chair his body only a couple inches parted his hands pulling the papers off his desk infront of me grabbing a pen and standing slightly to lean over his pen and pencils holder i watched as his thick forearms flexed out a bit to hold himself up as he lifted off his seat for that split second before sitting down

Sorry i haven't been sleeping well. i just have been stressed out and this subject isn't my strong suit." I mumbled slightly Anxious tapping at the wooden desk gently with almost silently begging eyes that he would understand.

"It's fine, at least you try."

"Yeah." I echoed a quiet sigh of relief his glance moving away from me and onto the classroom my hands settling into my lap, Mind running quietly a feeling to connect again with him.. 

I know he's always had a bit of a hard time with his emotions, but i feel kinda bad. With the time and space we had i began to mumble to him a little more quietly then before slightly getting closer to him. it's been stressful for the both of us.. and it's your job, but my family- dad has been rougher at home." I watched closely as he paused for a moment his fingers were messing with a pen, clicking that came to a stop his hand's shifting his glasses up back over his nose "im sorry.." he shyly grumbled a change in attitude i felt almost bad as he seemed genuinely sorry. 

"It's alright.. im just glad to see you especially after everything you've been dealing with.

I heard an slight swallow as he turned slightly bringing himself closer to me. "im fine.. just. She's already moved on, it was for the best."

I smiled reassuringly and wrapped an arm slowly around his waist beneath the desk to hide any other student's who were far away still chattering along with their friend's it was a gentle gesture and emotional expression as well a slight tease to our taboo relationship, despite it's almost sad secretive nature, He wasn't happy with her.. he was happy with me.. him, me, God, maby god had a plan for both.

His head turned towards me slightly as an way to signal me off his hand coming to pull mine off grasping over my soft plams i could see the hesitation in his eyes as he looked over papers and tried to go back to clicking his pen and ignoring my movements shoving my hand back to my lap..

Huff.. "C'mon no one's looking.. " i mumbled quietly to him tapping again looking around to see if anyone was looking he let out an small grunt and slightly tensed up. 

"No.. it's too risky.. stop." He muttered trying to get me to refrain from touching him

NOTE FOR YOU. HES JERKING OFF IN THE SHOWER DURING "CHURCH NIGHT" BEFORE THEY PLAY THE STUPJD BOARD GAME AND HES TIRED AND GROSNING LOWLY AMD HIS MOM ASKS HJM OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM IF HES OKAY AND HE MAKES UP A LIE SAYING HES SICK FEELING FROM THE SCHOOL FOOD SO HE SKIPS FAMILY NIGHTS AND CUMS EVERYYYWHERW.M PREMATURE EJAC BTW</p>