Chapter Text
6 Months ago
Vi hated the long drives, hated how quiet it was driving through the darkened woods…it creeped her out. Especially because she wasn’t driving a car…but a motorcycle; the moon shined down on her, the air hit every inch of her body and her eyes grew watery under her helmet from the breeze. If it were up to her, she’d be home right now enjoying her last night of freedom…instead she chose to get up and drive to the college her girlfriend went to. Which was an hour away; she didn’t mind driving to see Caitlyn…has been for the last three months, but it sure did tire her out.
She zoomed past street lights one after another, until finally she had arrived at the college itself. And every inch of her body grew tense…her heart raced and her hands grew shaky as she parked. She wasn’t just coming to see her girlfriend, but she also came here to tell Caitlyn the news she knew would anger her. She knows this night won’t go so well…..She sighed, turned off the bike and took off her helmet; she sat there and mumbled to herself as she gathered the courage to text Caitlyn that was here. Maybe Caitlyn would understand why she was doing this; maybe she won’t be upset…she has to understand that what she was about to do, was for her…it was something she was bound to do.
She started rubbing circles on her helmet with her thumbs as her mind twisted and turned with worry and concern, her eyes started to wonder on their own. She looked up and her eyes found the moon and the stars looking back at her; it was like Vi was asking for answers…searching for anything to change her mind but all she saw was her failures and her weakest moments she regretted…which only set fuel to her decision more.
“Vi?”
She heard that sweet voice, almost like she was far away…maybe it was in her head. It wouldn’t be the first, she seemed to have problems lately with her own mind putting things together that’s not there really. Most days she would deal with the constant shakes from her hands…which she didn’t get. They let her in and she has the shakes, not to mention epilepsy; they did say as long as it’s controlled and if she took medication for it…which she did. But still…was this really happening?
“Violet?”
She heard it again, but this time it was much much closer; so she turned her head to that beautiful voice and what a surprise. It was actually her girlfriend standing no more than an inch close to her with her hand on her shoulder with a concerned look. She looked beautiful, seemed like she got even more beautiful each time Vi saw her. She wore a black short sleeve shirt with some dark blue jeans with her hair up in a neat ponytail. Her eyes stood out in the midnight light, her lips pink filled and those remarkable cheekbones…sometimes Vi couldn’t believe she’d managed to pull someone as beautiful as Caitlyn.
Caitlyn must’ve noticed VI’s stare because she called out for her again.
“Vi are you alright? I’ve been waiting for you up in the room for quite sometime.” She softly said in a concerned voice. Vi snapped her eyes up to Caitlyn’s and softly smiled the best she could “yeah I’m okay, I just uhh—I was just caught up in my head” she felt Caitlyn’s hand trail to her back and started to rub gentle circles “do you want to talk about it?” She whispered, not taking her eyes off of Vi. And in that moment, Vi looked deeply into Caitlyn’s eyes and felt nothing but love and support and it only made the guilt rise. She cleared her throat and tried her best to be nice about it, she gently pulled away from Caitlyn’s touch and got off the bike.
“It’s okay, how about we go up to the room? We can order in” she said as she grabbed Caitlyn’s hand and began to walk toward the dorms. Tonight was going to be a long long night…
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And it indeed was….
The whole night was quiet but not in the lovable way; the air felt thick, Caitlyn could feel how fast VI’s heart raced and she saw how the cogs turned in her head. Something was eating away at Vi and she couldn’t keep her curious thoughts away any longer. So she propped herself up and looked at Vi “what’s going on with you? You’ve not been yourself all night” she stated. Vi took a moment, she looked up at the ceiling and sighed before maneuvering off the bed and walking toward her backpack that rested in the corner of the room.
Caitlyn had scooted to the edge of the bed and watched as her girlfriend dug into her bag and pulled out a white piece of paper. She watched as her girlfriend made her way back to her with the paper in her hands and held it out for her to take. Caitlyn could only look down at the paper with wonder “what is it?” Was all she said before taking it out of her girlfriends hand and unfolded it. Her eyes started to read over the printed words that had all of VI’s information signed; along with her printed signature signed at the bottom. She looked up at the top of the paper to see in bold letters: “Piltover military”
And it was signed and approved by no other than the lead council herself “Cassandra Kiramman” Caitlyn’s throat became dry, her breath caught in her throat as she stared at VI’s signature. This can’t be real she thought, there was a war going on as of now and Vi wants to join it? Her eyes grew teary as she thought about all the wrong things that could happen.
“Cait? Cait can’t you please say something?” She heard Vi say. But she couldn’t, she wanted to but the words were stuck; her body was frozen, her mom helped Vi do this? Knowing that Vi wasn’t quite fit to join? She couldn’t believe any of this.
She felt the anger rush through her veins “how could you do this?” She said, finally looking up from the paper. Vi stepped closer “Cupcake I need you to understand that I did this for us…” Vi tried protesting and it only fueled the fire. Caitlyn snapped her head up at Vi “for us?! You going out there getting yourself killed is for us?!” Her voice raised. Vi inched closer and tried to set her hand on Caitlyn’s shoulder only for Caitlyn to swat her hand away and stand “I cannot believe you! Can’t believe this!” She said pointing at the paper. Vi could only stare at her girlfriend with built up tears in her eyes. She wanted to say a lot but knew it was best if she didn’t.
“Why are you being so selfish?! You want to get yourself killed?! You want to leave me is it?!” Caitlyn shouted as she flung the paper across the room. Vi remained silent, couldn’t even look Caitlyn in the eyes. It only angered Caitlyn more, so she walked across the dorm room and backed Vi to the wall; she gripped VI’s face “look at me” she commanded. Vi remained silent, kept her eyes on the floor. Caitlyn didn’t mean to but she gripped tighter, tears ran down her face “you look at me” she rasped out which got VI’s attention. Vi looked up only to see the love of her life hurt…the pain in her eyes…it was devastating. “Why—Why are you doing this?” Caitlyn stammered out.
Vi couldn’t gather the strength to say anything, so instead she kept looking into Caitlyn’s heartbroken eyes. Both women looking into each other’s eyes broken and shattered, searching for anything to repair this whole but nothing came to light. It was then, Caitlyn backed away and turned her back toward Vi who was still pinned to the wall. She watched as her girlfriend sat on the bed; she could hear the quiet whimpering and the sniffles “go..” she heard Caitlyn say. She remained still, even if she wanted to go she couldn’t, she was to hurt and broken to move “I said go…please just—just leave me alone” Caitlyn whispered
Why’d it have to be this way? Why couldn’t she had said something to prevent this? A tear slipped down her face as she slowly gathered her bag and opened the room door. She stopped with her hand on the knob and back turned. “I’m sorry” she whispered as she slipped out of the room and disappeared…she never meant for this to happen. All she wanted was for her family to understand that this was what she wanted to do. Do something that mattered…help others in ways she couldn’t be helped. Her sister was angry, her dad disappointed and her mother confused…no one understood. She’ll just have to do this chapter alone…and if that’s what it’ll take then so be it.
Present day
Every muscle in her body was tense, her eyes red from the dessert air, ears perked underneath her helmet…her eyes focused and sharp; her mouth was so dry, sweat tickled down her forehead but she didn’t dare take her finger off that trigger. Two of her men on each side of her, a sniper looking down at them from the outside, ready for Vi to command the shot. But Vi was frozen. She couldn’t do this…if you had a heart, you couldn’t bare to shoot a ten year old dead. But the little boy had a rocket launcher in his hand ready to fire. Her breathing became rugged as her eyes blinked away the tears…her hands shaking underneath the trigger.
“Hold you’re fucking fire…nobody move” she ordered…all three soldiers tensed “don’t you fucking do it…please don’t do it” she whispered under her shaky breath. The boy himself looked scared, sweat ran down his temple, and his hands shook. And then Vi saw it…
Her eyes caught the boy squeeze the trigger and she fired. She fired one single shot sent the boy flopping to the ground but not without pulling the trigger; before anyone could react, the three soldiers dived away from the humvee just as the rocket impacted. The humvee came to ablaze, smoke surrounded the area…when Vi regained consciousness, her ears rung…eyes burned and her entire body ached. She looked around to see the humvee upside down on fire, and her two men helping one another. And then she looked across the courtyard to see the little boy’s lifeless body laid out.
The little boy was dead…and it was because of her. And suddenly she felt sick to her stomach and it was becoming harder and harder to breathe. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the mess she had made…that boy will never live to see his future because of her.
“Captain!” She heard one of her men call out. But she just couldn’t tear her eyes away…that could have been her; she could have died…and then pictures of her family started to appear in her head. If she would have died…she hadn’t spoken with any of them in six months…she couldn’t do this anymore….
“Captain! We gotta move!” She heard again, only this time she felt hands wrap under her armpits and started to drag her across the courtyard. And in that moment, everything was muffled…the heat no longer bothered her and her vision blurred…it was a never ending story here.
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When she returned to base, it was the same routine, the crew laughed and joked about the mission, they fucked around with one another…but Vi mentally couldn’t. She had killed a kid today…a kid no more than a ten. She’s killed a lot in the last six months but nothing compared to this one….she’s seen a lot here….Noxus wasn’t a place for anyone. She’s seen people get set on fire, seen people executed in front of a village…seen tortured men and women to the point of death; all of this was too much to handle. And her squad was acting like this was routine….
The room was too loud…her mind was too loud; she gripped the bed and closed her eyes to try and block out anything possible but it just grew louder and louder….
A squad member across the room noticed, he was like Vi; he hated it here…wished he never joined. Seen things he shouldn’t have. He crossed the crowded room, in the process he pushed his brother who also joined outta the way. “Dude what the hell!” The weird looking boy exclaimed. He had bushy eyebrows, his skinny physique made his blue and black OCP’s look huge on him and his hair was buzzed cut like the rest of the soldiers. “Stop acting like you have no manners Mylo” he gently scolded. Mylo only scoffed and sat on the bottom of a bunk bed.
When the guy himself made his way over to Vi he sat and put his hand on her shoulder; only then did Vi snap out of it. She looked up to see a big guy with goggles in his dark blue T-shirt and blue and black OCP’s. “You need me to take them out for a run?” The boy asked. Vi could only lighten up and smile…this boy has had her back since she joined; he was her right hand man out in the field. He was nice and gentle just like her dad…probably why they clicked. “It’s okay Claggor, I’ll manage. Just need some sleep” she said as she began to untie her black combat boots.
Claggor nodded and stood “let me know if you need anything” he gently said as he began to walk away “yeah sure..” Vi rasped out. She took off her boots and laid back on her bed looking up at the rusty ceiling. She didn’t dare close her eyes….because every time she did, she saw the kid..a face she would never forget.