Work Text:
A
Absolute - You can put any object, animal or food item after the word absolute to create an insult, for example: you absolute donkey, you absolute plum, you absolute radiator… The world is your oyster! Go on and insult with searing panache.
Apeth - Idiot
Ace - great, amazing, brilliant
Argy - pronounced ar-gee is short for (see below)
Argy-bargy - argumentative and aggravated
Arse over tit - fell over
B
Babycham - A sparkling perry (pear cider) drink, came in small ladylike bottles
Badger/ing - pester/nag
Beak - nose
Beano - a British comic staple for kids featuring long running comics of Dennis the Menace & Gnasher, Bananaman, and Minnie the Minx
Bell-end - The head of the penis, being vaguely bell shaped. The insult is similar to dickhead.
Bird - girlfriend
Bovver - fighting
Boys in blue - the cops
Boozer - The pub
Bollocking - telling off
Bollocks - crap (also testicles)
Brew - Cuppa, also the period of time tea needs to steep to become drinkable
Bricking it - scared
C
Catching/caught flak - to be aggressively criticised
Chemist - pharmacy
Chips - Chunky French fries!
Chippy - Fish and chip shop, a British fast food staple
Chunter - Mutter/mumble
Chuntering - muttering
Cob - This cob means bread roll. This is a source of great squabbling amongst the Brits, and is amongst one our favourite arguments, as there as many ways to call a bread roll something as there are accents, one of our other favourite arguments is how you pronounce scone. Is it sc-on, or sc-own? Don't start on whether it's jam or cream first…
Cob on- Grumpy
Common - working class
Common as muck - working class
Conked out - fall asleep
Constable - the lowest police rank
Copper - A Policeman, the kids and I liked the play on words of Hopper/Copper as he'd absolutely get nicknamed that if that was his chosen profession.
Cop shop - police station
Chill pill- calm down, this is only used in telling someone to calm down. We say this too! - Shelby
Chocolate digestives - a semi sweet oat based biscuit with the top half covered in a thin layer of chocolate.
Chopper - an iconic 70s and 80s bicycle with an elongated seat so two people could ride it.
Chops/chopsing - talking a lot, mainly about nothing
Cow - bitch (can also be used as a term of endearment e.g. lucky cow)
Crackpot - crazy person
Crisps - potato chips
Croggy - riding on the back of a bicycle whilst someone else pedals
Cuppa - an abbreviation for cup of tea
Curtain twitchers - your garden variety snoops and nosy Nellies.
D
Daft- silly or stupid
Daft apeth - silly or stupid person, can be used as a term of endearment or as a mild insult
Done in - exhausted
Donkey’s years - much like ‘dog’s age’ it means a long ass time.
Don't be soft - Don't be stupid
Dressing gown - house coat, a garment worn around the house made from towelling fabric that generally comes down to the calves and ties at the waist
E
Eiderdown - Comforter/Duvet sort of thing that was filled with goose feathers and was placed on top of sheets and blankets for extra warmth
F
Face on them like a slapped arse - unhappy, annoyed
Faffing - Messing around, taking ones time. Futzing one might say, cause I love some Yiddish.
Fag - Not what you think. This is a cigarette. That word your thinking of would be a faggot, and is a slur for someone who is gay.
Fashing - annoying/bothering
Fairy/ies - someone who is either a) soft or has it easy or b) a slur for someone who is effeminate, camp or gay
The Filth - The police.
Flicks - hairstyle. (this ain’t the moving pictures kid)
Flipped the V's - The pointer and middle finger are brandished upwards with the back of the hand facing out, it is a similarly lewd gesture to flipping the bird (flashing a middle finger) generally meaning ‘Up yours’
Freshers Fair - a post 16 college welcome event that gives you information about the college, it's student enrichment programme and is usually run by students services and the Student Union it's usually loud and fun.
Fruit Polos - Fruit flavoured boiled sweets with a hole in the middle.
Fuckwit - an idiot
Fuming - mad/angry
Further ed college - Post 16 education provider where young adults learn vocational qualifications, differing from sixth form college which is usually linked to a high school and provides more academic qualifications
Fuzz - The cops
G
Gaff - home
Gawked - stared, usually with ones mouth open
Gawped - star with ones mouth open
Gay lord - A derogatory term for someone who is camp, effeminate or gay
Getting jip - to be aggressively criticised
Gip - Throw up/puke
Git - incompetent or worthless person.
Give over - stop it
Go off - happen
Go off on one - Get mad
Going out - dating
H
Had/having it off - the devil with two backs, getting your dick wet, doing the belly belly thing, shagging, you know, sex
Had it out - confront or resolve and issue
Half-cut - tipsy
Half-term - a week long midterm break from school or college
Handbags - A sexist phrase used by men for when a woman gets angry and acts 'irrationally'
High school - ages 14-16
Hoicked - lifted
Honk - smell
I
Iffy - uncertain/dodgy
Inspector - a policing rank of middle management
J
Jam sandwich - a white police car with a wide neon red stipe down either side
Joggers - sweatpants
Jog on - go away
Jumper - knitted sweater
K
Keep mum - be quiet/keep things to yourself. Comes from a second world war poster telling people to 'be like dad, keep mum' about keeping the nations secrets.
Kibosh - end/stop/reject
Kip - sleep
Knackered - tired/exhausted
Knackers - testicles
L
Lanky - Skinny
Lanky streak of piss - Someone who is tall and skinny
Local - nearest or favourite pub. Eg, going down the local for a swift one (cheeky/quick pint)
Loo - toilet
M
Manky - disgusting
Manny - a nickname for Manchester
Mardy - Grumpy. This is both an adjective and a noun describing a bad mood. For instance one can say; ‘I’m mardy’ meaning ‘I’m grumpy’ but also say ‘I’m having a mardy’ as in ‘I’m in a bad mood’.
MI5 - spies, espionage, secrets and shit like that.
Miffed - Annoyed
Milky Way - Like a Three Musketeers
Minging - disgusting
Mithering - bothering someone, being a nuisance
Monkey - term of endearment
Muntered - very drunk
N
Natter - A chat
Nerve - gall
Nick - Police station
Nicked - stolen
Nob cheese - an insult
Nob-head - dick-head
Nonce - paedophile
Nowt - nothing
Nut job - mad man
Nutter - mad man
O
Oik - Someone who is seen as antisocial, uncultured and of poor class, usually male
On my tits - annoyed
On your tod - alone
Ooooya fucker - an exclamation of surprise
Out of your tree - insane
Owt - nothing/anything
P
Pack it in - stop
Pack up - packed lunch
Panda car - a black and white police vehicle
Pasting - beaten up
Peeping Tom - someone who watches people undress without their consent
Pet - term of endearment
Petal - term of endearment
Piece of piss - quite easy, a ‘piece of cake’ if you will
Pint - ‘sipping on a pint’ is drinking a beer as they are served in pint glasses
Pit - A colliery or mine for extracting coal
Plaster - band-aid
Playing mother - the person who pours the tea and hands out the mugs and biscuits
Play school - an optional play group that children age 2-5 would go to for a morning or afternoon in the 80s/early 90s, often set in church halls but was entirely secular
Plod - cops
Poofter - A derogatory term for someone who is camp, effeminate or gay
Pools - Was a national betting game based on football results that predated the lottery.
Poorly - sick/ill
Posh - Someone who is born to wealth or has a lot of money, also having a better accent than someone. (Oh I know what Posh means, I listened to the Spice Girls, she was the fancy one - Shelby)
Prefab - A prefabricated house is a house that comes pre-built in sections for easy/fast construction, a lot were built after the second world war they could either be single or two storey
Primary school - Elementary school, often ages 5-11
Pudding - Referring to many desserts and as well as savoury dishes and contrary to Shelby’s, my beta’s, belief for nearly 14 years, the English don’t just eat JELL-O pudding cups with or for their meals. These are usually home made sweet pies, crumbles and steamed cakes that are self saucing.
Puff - A derogatory term for someone who is camp, effeminate or gay
Punnet - cardboard or plastic container, usually for fruit or veg
Punters - customers
Q
Quibble - Debate or argue.
Quid - Great British Pounds, old chap
QMC - Queen's Medical Centre, the biggest hospital in Nottingham
R
Rainbow - A kids TV show on during week day mornings after the news. It was a house share with a man, Jeffrey, and three puppets, Zippy, George and Bungle
Ready salted - a flavour of crisps/chips
Ribbing - to tease mercilessly
Roundabout - These are the park playground merry-go-round, think season 5 when we see Holly and the kids spinning on the playground equipment, not the (often) heinous traffic intersection.
Roger that - received and understood. In the 1940s Roger was the 'R' in the phonetic alphabet, whereas today it's Romeo
Rozzers - The cops
S
Scarper - To run away
Scrap - fight
Scooter - moped
Secondary school - What American's call middle school or junior high for preteens roughly age 11-14
Skive - ditching or skipping.
Sharpish - fast
Shiner - black eye
Shit scared - terrified
Skiving - cutting school
Sod - idiot, like git
Spare - mad/furious
Sprog - kid
Squeal - tell
Sticking your oar in - getting involved in something that's not your business
Student Union - the student union is an organization at colleges and universities that represents students' interests, provides support, and organizes social activities. It is run by students.
Sugar Puffs - a sugary 80s cereal of puffed oats that had a yellow monster as it's mascot
Swanky - stylish, classy, up to date, posh
Sweatshirt - Sweater
T
Tank top - knitted sweater vest
Take the piss out of - ruthlessly tease and make fun of
Tea- dinner
Tea cosy - a tiny jumper or padded jacket for a teapot that keeps it warm as it brews the tea
Term - semester
The Dandy - A British comic for kids featuring the cowboy Desperate Dan
The Towers - An asylum/long stay hospital for the mentally ill
Tip - Rubbish dump
Torch - Flashlight, never fear no one is out here with flaming sticks (at least not yet)
Tosser - Tosser and wanker are interchangeable and mean the same thing. An insult like dick or prick. Meaning someone who masterbates.
Tosspot - See tosser or wanker.
Trainers - Sneakers or tennis shoes.
Treacle - a term of endearment
Tromped - Walk slowly and heavily
Twat - Rhymes with cat, that and hat, not what or knot. This is both an insult, ie: calling someone a dipshit or an asshole (as well as slang for vagina- though it is very rarely used in that way).
U
V
Vest - I know y’all say waistcoat for what we call a vest but when Brits say vest they mean tank top
W
Wank - Crap or shit.
Wanker - Tosser and wanker are interchangeable and mean the same thing. An insult like calling someone a douchebag.
We'll be laughing - we'll be fine/happy/ok
Well - very, extremely, a lot
Wellies - (Wellington boots) rain boots
Wilko's - an abbreviation for Wilkinson's a chain store that sells wallpaper, paints,DIY, crafting, and cleaning supplies. Joyce's place of work. Was regional to the East Midlands in the 80s before popping up in more places.
Witches hat - The Witch's Hat was a popular, Mid-20th-century playground ride consisting of a tall central metal pole with a conical, spinning frame suspended by chains. Children would hang onto the circular frame, pushing it to rotate at high speeds, often causing it to lift or "buck".
Wittering - complaining
Woofter - A derogatory term for someone who is camp, effeminate or gay
Woolly pully - a knitted item of clothing, usually a jumper or tank top
WPC - Woman Police Constable, 'woman' was dropped in policing ranks in the nineties
X
Y
Yawped/yawping - shouting or being loud and obnoxious
Z
Notes:
Gun Ownership in the UK:
Pre the Hungerford Massacre in 1987 you could own guns with relative ease in Britain, the easiest to get hold of were shotguns which only required a shotgun licence, you didn't need a reason to be owning one. You can't own one at all without very strict licencing post the Dunblane Massacre in 1996