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Elphaba couldn’t quite believe it. She was at her usual table in the back of the library. She also had a favorite chair, one perfect for curling up in with a book. The South and west facing windows made perfect light for afternoon reading. But the table was for spreading out and seriously studying. She liked this table because no one ever checked out the outdated science tomes. She could smell the musty paper and leather. If she could bottle the scent, she would.
She liked people watching, as long as they weren’t watching her in return. She realized it was hypocritical, but in her defense, she just watched. She had never alluded to a classmate being slimy or scaly. And she never referred to anyone as a vegetable. She could observe her classmates, without anyone noticing her. She often wished she was invisible. Then, she opened her mouth and drew all of the attention her way.
But today was different. There were people at her table. People who chose to sit with her. Not just any people, but the two most popular students at Shiz. Galinda Upland and Prince Fiyero Tigilaar. She had been friends with Galinda for several days now, and she still wasn’t used to the idea of being included.
The day after the Oz Dust party, she had hidden herself for most of the day. Galinda had tried to give her a makeover. She had called her beautiful. Elphaba had never been given a compliment on her appearance before, and she was sure Galinda was either lying or making fun of her, so she got out of her room, fast. She had no plan of where to go, and she was still in her nightclothes. She’d hidden in a closet until the room emptied, and then had hightailed it to the library. She was sure it was some kind of elaborate prank, another one to humiliate her. Hunger finally drove her to the dining hall.
When she arrived in the dining hall that evening, Fiyero had waved her to their table. She was sure he did it because Galinda wanted him to. Still, she sat with them during dinner. They included her in their conversation, asked her questions, and proceeded to accompany her to the library to study.
It was nice. Galinda actually was a serious student. Not as serious as Elphaba, and her studies weren’t as important to her as was matching shoes to her dress. However, she wanted to do well in school, to achieve her future ambitions.
She and Galinda studied. Fiyero picked up a romance novel she had been reading for fun. They were a guilty pleasure of hers. She was relieved that this one was of the historical context, not one of her more scandalocious ones.He was engrossed in the story, so much so that he hadn’t made eyes at Galinda for the past hour. Elphaba watched him though.
He actually seemed quite nice. At dinner, their hands had touched, accidentally while reaching for the salt shaker. And he didn’t recoil. Or even worse, he didn’t act surprised that her skin felt normal. He hadn’t reacted at all, and seemed surprised at her apology. There was a chance that it was a ruse to set her up. However, in her experience, people at the top of the social hierarchy didn’t need ruses. She had been incredibly irritated at him while he was kicking books around. Tonight though, he was treating her book with the kindness it deserved. Between watching him read and the bluest eyes she had ever seen, he was growing on her.
Boq, her sister’s boyfriend and Nessarose sat with them sometimes too. Nessa had mostly pretended not to know Elphaba since arriving at Shiz. She had always wanted friends and blamed her lack of them on her sister. Elphaba had tried to give her sister space while growing up. Their father hadn’t made it easy though. Elphaba had been stuck between a rock and hard place. Follow her sister and risk annoying her further, damaging their already fragile relationship, or disobey her father and risk verbal dressing down or physical punishment.
She knew how much her sister wanted friends. She had been a medically fragile child, and had never gotten to attend school. Their overprotective father wouldn’t let Nessa leave the property without an escort. Plus, she was shy, self-conscious, and the only child she had spent any time around was Elphaba herself. All of this made it difficult for her to make friends. Occasionally, their father would arrange to invite other kids to their house. Elphaba made herself scarce. It wasn’t a challenge. She didn’t want to be included in play dates. She wanted to curl up on her bed and read.
But, it seemed often that the other kids would inevitably start teasing her sister. Running up the stairs, playing keep away. They generally didn’t draw attention to her wheelchair but they made her feel self conscious anyway. Big sister mode would kick in, as Elphaba got angry. She would accidentally send books or blocks or whatever they were playing with at the kids. Between being pelted and Nessa’s green sister, she usually only had one play date with new friends.
Elphaba always ended up in trouble after these encounters. Her father detested her magical abilities, almost as much as her hated her appearance. He hated when Elphaba drew attention to herself. She always wondered why one of the maids wasn’t watching closer. She would never dream of blaming her beloved Dulcibear. Father had been monopolizing their nanny’s time more and more. Until the day that he had let her go. Elphaba had been crushed. At fifteen, she was much too old for a nanny. But Dulcibear had been the only one in their home who had ever been kind to her.
Boq couldn’t keep his eyes off of Galinda. He tried to be attentive to Nessa, but he often was too preoccupied. Nessa had to ask him twice or three times to pass her something before he noticed her. However , if Galinda dropped her pen, Boq was on the floor. He especially was in competition with Fiyero. He constantly tried to outdo, outrun, out perform Fiyero, all while subtly putting him down. Fiyero didn’t seem to notice. He was nice to Boq and congratulated him every time he won a silly game.
That had been several days ago. Elphaba found that they were fun at mealtimes. When she laughed with them, they hadn’t made fun of her awkward cackle. They both genuinely seemed to enjoy her company. They were at her table in the library. She shared her notes, and they took turns quizzing each other on scientific facts. She also proofread their history papers.
Galinda pulled out a tin of gingerbread cookies. “Elphie, momsie sent these for you! I told her how you helped me study the other day and how I aced that test. I know you aren’t big on sweets, but I’ve seen you having a cookie with your tea. Hope these are okay.”
Elphaba was surprised that her friend had noticed her eating habits. Especially because she hadn't brewed tea in their room for several days, a direct result of lingering in the dining hall with her friends. Not since before the OzDust. She took a cookie and smiled appreciatively. “These are delicious. Tell her thank you from me.”
She noticed that Fiyero’s jacket was dusty and he had straw in his hair. She reached out to remove it. “You’re always covered in straw,” she said, self conscious. His hair was luxurious. “Do you live in the stables?” She laughed, then covered her mouth.
“I have a suite, but I generally do sleep on the stables,” he said with a grin. “When I enrolled, I said I’d be happy to move in with a roommate. Admin didn’t like that response. They actually consolidated the cleaning staff housing so I could have the top floor. I sleep in the stables as a protest. And because Feldspur gets lonely otherwise.”
Galinda wrinkled her nose. “The stables, darling? Really?”
Elphaba was more appalled that people had been rearranged so easily for one student. Fiyero seemed to be disgusted by the idea as well.
“Straw is really very comfortable. It’s the best insulation against the cold,” he said. “And Feldspur gives me the best advice. I’d rather spend time with him than in my big empty room.”
Galinda turned to Elphaba. “Fiyero arrived at Shiz with less stuff than you. All of his stuff fit into a little satchel and saddle bags. I can’t imagine packing that light,” she said with a shudder.
Elphaba laughed. “I didn’t pack at all. My father had a maid pack for me. All of my clothes and books are here.”
“Oh, Elphie, you poor thing,” Galinda said sadly. She took Elphaba’s hand and squeezed.
Elphaba was still getting used to the spontaneous physical contact. No one ever voluntarily touched her. And yet, she liked it. The hugs that could convey so much. Thank you, I’m glad I know you. She looked at the clock. “I have to go,” she said. “I promised Nessa I’d help her with her history paper. I’ll get my notes back later. I’ll check the library before going back to our room.”
“Thanks Elphie, you’re the best!” Galinda sang out.
Elphaba made her way to her sister’s room. She had a private room, not as large as the suite she and Galinda shared, so it felt cozy. Nessa answered the door and let Elphaba in.
“Why weren’t you at dinner tonight?” Elphaba asked lightly. Their father had not so subtly asked for reports on his beloved youngest daughter. This was not a spy mission. Elphaba was genuinely curious.
“Physical therapy,” Nessa said distractedly. “It always leaves me tired.” Nessa met with a specialist twice a week to exercise her legs. They never would be better than they were now, but the exercises prevented blood clots.
Elphaba sat on the bed. she saw Nessa’s notebook. It was positively covered in hearts. NRW, Nessarose Woodsman, NRT + BW. Galinda’s notebooks looked much the same. Love was in the air. She raised an eyebrow.
“Doesn’t my name sound perfect with his?” Nessa asked.
“It sounds fine,” Elphaba said neutrally. “Are you sure you want to study in here? Galinda and Fiyero are down in the library. We could join them.”
“No, I want to stay here. Boq said he might come by,” Nessa said. “I don’t want to miss him. I hope he’s okay.”
Elphaba wouldn’t tell Nessa that she had seen Boq in the library. He had been sitting alone, trying not to stare at Galinda, alternately glaring at Fiyero. “I’m sure he’s fine,” she said. “He must have forgotten you had plans.”
“Yes, that’s what happened,” Nessa said decidedly. “Don’t you just love Boq?”
“He seems very nice,” Elphaba said with a slight hesitation. “As long as he is kind to you and makes you happy.”
“Of course he does,” said Nessa indignantly. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Nessa usually wasn’t good at reading between the lines, at least where Elphaba was concerned. She must have really wanted her opinion. Elphaba considered her words carefully. “He seems nice,” she repeated. “It’s just, have you noticed that he’s not very nice to Fiyero?”
“What are you talking about?” Nessa asked. “They are friends.”
“They are. But have you noticed, Boq likes to outdo Fiyero. And he puts him down. Like today in linguification, Fiyero mispronounced a word, and Boq wouldn’t let him forget it.” As someone sensitive to jibes, Elphaba could feel the intent, and it wasn’t playful teasing. Nessa wasn’t in that particular class.
“Has Fiyero said something?” Nessa asked, an edge to her voice.
“No, it’s just something I’ve noticed. I hardly know either of them. It surprised me because Boq is usually so quiet. I might be wrong,” Elphaba replied. “Let’s get to work on your essay. Am I proofreading for you?”
Nessa looked uncomfortable. “I haven’t actually started it. I was hoping you would let me read yours to get me started.”
“Nessa,” said Elphaba reproachfully. “It’s an opinion essay. You pick a current event issue and back it up with historical context. If you copy mine, Dr. Dillamomd will know one or both of us cheated. Also, what if you get chosen to debate this time.”
“I know,” Nessa said, annoyed. “I’ve just been so busy this week, I haven’t had time to start it.”
“I’ll tell you what,” Elphaba said, “if you come up with a topic, I’ll help you with an outline. And I’m happy to proofread it for you.”
“I can’t think of any issues facing Oz today. I mean, it’s a pretty perfect place,” said Nessa dreamily.
“Nessa, how many meetings did you sit in with father? How often did you hear him rant about food shortages, or crop failures, or the other districts taking munchkin land for granted. You could talk about why the tulip crop is a terrible choice, because of rainfall. I love Oz, it is home, but it is definitely not perfect.” Elphaba took a deep breath.
“Please, can I just read yours?” Nessa whined. “None of those topics sound like fun to write about.”
“It’s not supposed to be a fun assignment,” said Elphaba exasperated. “It’s supposed to make you think. Like Dr. Dillamond says, if you always feel good after learning history, you’re only reading it from the winner’s perspective.”
“What did you write about?” Nessa asked.
“The dangers of silencing people. I’m drawing connections between historical erasure and current animal culture.
Nessa wrinkled her nose. “You're right, I don’t want to read that. Will you please just give me an issue to write about?”
“No,” Elphaba sighed. “Just think of something important to you. I want to help you. But you have to come up with your own idea.”
“I bet you wrote papers for Galinda and Fiyero. I don’t understand why you are suddenly friends with them.” Nessa made a face.
“First of all, I offered them the same help I offered you. And they both appreciated it. Second, Galinda and I discovered that we have a lot in common.” Elphaba wasn’t going to tell Nessa that it had been on her behalf that she insisted her roommate take sorcery studies with her.
“What if I tell father?” Nessa said petulantly. “You’re supposed to help me with my schoolwork.”
“Nessa, aren’t we past telling father?” Elphaba said with a sigh. “This is university. I am offering to help you. Also, what is father going to do? He doesn’t pay for my tuition. And I’m not planning to return home.”
“What about your spending money?” Nessa asked.
“What spending money?” Elphaba asked with a bitter laugh. “I don’t get spending money. The only support I’ve gotten from father since starting school was that he sent my clothes and books.”
“Oh,” said Nessa, sounding small. “How do you go to the coffee shop or the bakery in town?”
“I don’t,” Elphaba said simply. “The other night, at the OzDust, that was my first time going to town.”
Nessa, seemingly lost in her thoughts, looked mildly embarrassed. Elphaba knew what kind of spending allowance she got. She had seen Nessa return to school with shopping bags hanging from her chair. “Wait,” Nessa said. “Did you say you won’t be returning home this summer?”
“I did,” Elphaba replied. “I’m looking in to options, but I won’t be returning to Nest Hardings.”
“Where will you go and do a father know your plans?” asked Nessa.
“Madame Morrible thinks I have a good chance to work for the Wizard of Oz. And even if that doesn’t work, I can’t go home. She said I can stay for the summer to continue magic studies. Father does know yet, and I would appreciate you letting me tell him. I would think he’d be relieved, seeing how he hates me, he always has, and now that I’ve been away from him, I can’t go back.”
“Father does not hate you.” Nessa protested. “He just has high expectations of you.”
“And I’ve never been able to meet them,” said Elphaba sadly. “Nothing I’ve ever done has been good enough.”
Nessa couldn’t come up with a good counter argument. And she realized her sister was not going to budge on writing her essay for her. Instead, she shifted the topic. “Speaking of father. I was thinking, "I want to encourage him to hire Boq over break.”
Surprised, Elphaba asked “does Boq have an interest in government?”
“I don’t know,” Nessa answered. “But, if he works for father, I’ll be able to see him every day.”
Elphaba considered her next words carefully. “Are you sure that is a good idea? What if you break up? Then, you still have to see him everyday. Or you convince father to fire him. That gives you a lot of power in the relationship. What happens if father happens to see you kissing? You know how he is with his little girl.”
Nessa looked uncomfortable at that last part. Still, she defended herself. “We are not going to break up,” she said indignantly. “He loves me.”
“Did he tell you that?” Elphaba asked, surprised.
“Not exactly. But he called me beautiful and he danced with me,” said Nessa defensively. “He’s the one. We are going to be together forever.”
“Nessarose,”Elphaba said, kneeling in front of her chair. “I love you and I only want what’s best for you. I truly hope that Boq is the one for you. But, if he isn’t, you have lots of chances to meet other boys. Or girls, if that’s more your thing. You’re cute, funny, and smart.”
“Have you had this conversation with Galinda?” Nessa asked.
“No,” Elphaba replied. “She’s not my favorite sister.”
“Well, you’ve never had a boyfriend. You’ve never even had a crush on a boy. I don’t know, you like get not even be capable of love. You don’t have any right to tell me what to do,” Nessa said angrily.
“You’re right. Like always. I’m going to go before I say something I’ll regret. If you want help with your essay, you know where to find me.” With that, Elphaba walked away. It was the first time ever that she had walked away from her sister.
Nessa was wrong though. She might have a little crush. It was harmless and would never go farther than light admiration. However, what if she was right about the other thing? Maybe she was incapable of love. She had so few people who loved her and very few to love in return. Perhaps she was just out of practice.
When she had shared her deepest secret with Galinda, the reason why her father hated her, she started to realize that love wasn’t conditional. Nessa wanted independence, it was time to let her find it. Elphaba would be there when Nessa needed her, but she had to stop trying to buy her affection.
She decided to stop by the library to see if Galinda was still there. They were. Galinda read a fashion magazine and Fiyero was engrossed in her romance novel again. There were multiple girls trying to get his attention and he ignored all of them. Yet, as soon as Elphaba spotted them, Fiyero looked up, grinned and waved. His smile was exhilarating. She barely lifted the corners of her mouth. She wasn’t going to return that radiant smile.
“Elphie!” Galinda exclaimed. “How was Nessa?”
“We had an argument. She wanted me to write her essay and I told her no.”
Galinda squeezed her hand. “Your help on my essay is very appreciated. And your science notes. You’re the best.”
Fiyero agreed. “This is the first time ever I got a paper written before the last minute. The teachers might think I’ve reformed.”
“We can’t have that,” Elphaba quipped. “You’ll have to find another way to show that you don’t care.”
They packed up, ready to leave the library. As they stepped outside, Elphaba noticed Galinda hug herself. The night air was cool. It wasn’t a long walk, but Elphaba took off her jacket to hand it to her friend. Galinda gave her a quick, appreciative side hug.
As she wrapped her arms around herself, Fiyero silently handed over his sweater. No fanfare, just a quick moment of eye contact. She had never realized how much she admired blue eyes.
As the girls reached their room, Fiyero kissed Galinda good night. He wished Elphaba sweet dreams, and wouldn’t take his sweater back. She felt a little guilty at her first impression of him. He really was kind. Also smarter than he let on.
Galinda pulled Elphaba to lie across her bed with her. Elphaba was not entirely sure about this whole closeness thing, but she had to admit, she liked it.
“Elphie,” Galinda said, “Fiyero and I are going on a picnic tomorrow and we want you to come!”
“You don’t want me on your date,” Elphaba replied.
“It’s not a date. It’s a picnic,” Galinda replied “And it was Fiyero’s idea to invite you. We were planning to invite Boq and Nessa. But if you and Nessa are arguing, we don’t have to.”
“No, invite them,” said Elphaba. “Nessa and I are fine. She just doesn’t always appreciate when big sister mode kicks in.”
“Elphie,” said Galinda, squeezing her hand. “What’s wrong? You seem kind of sad.”
Elphaba hesitated. She had never had a friend before, and she wasn’t sure how much to say. However, those big brown eyes were sincere and it might feel better to get it out.
“Nessa was talking about how Boq is the one, and I encouraged her to be careful. She got mad. She said she doesn’t think I’m capable of love. And I’m worried that she’s right.”
“Oh, Elphie. What a terrible thing to say. I don’t know you as well as I’d like to. But you are definitely capable of love. You’re kind and generous and supportive. I already know you’re a great sister and a friend. You are probably an amazing daughter, if you had a better father. You’ll make an amazing girlfriend, wife, and your kids are going to be so loved.” Galinda almost had tears in her eyes.
“Thank you, Galinda. Sincerely, thank you.” Elphaba allowed herself to remain on the bed for a few minutes, just taking in the support.
With that, Elphaba rose, discreetly changed for bed, got under the covers. She was excited at the prospect of an adventure the next day, with her favorite people. She hoped she and Nessa were going to be okay. Had Nessa always been so helpless? Was this the first time she had ever been told no? No matter. Tomorrow was going to be fun. She could show Nessa how supportive she was, and if that didn’t work, it would at least be a day with her favorite people. She had never been happy before, and she relished it, falling into peaceful sleep with a soft smile on her face.