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Est had only known William for forty-eight hours when the Internet decided Est was in love with him. It was his second day on the job as LYKN’s newest bodyguard and his first event with them. He was nervous, walking the group to the stage with the managers and handlers, radio crackling in his ears, trying to remember all his instructions, when it happened.
William was trailing behind the rest of the group, distracted by the fans calling out his name, smiling and waving at the fans. Est was exactly where he was supposed to be, walking one step behind him, when a fan broke through the barricade and attempted to hug William.
Est reacted, instinctively - pulling William closer into his chest, one hand on his waist, one hand cradling the back of his head while other members of the security team rushed to block the fan and keep the lane clear.
It should have been one moment amongst many. A routine security manoeuvre. A bodyguard protecting his VIP. What had undone him was the look he’d levelled at William.
Soft.
Unguarded.
Worried.
“Are you okay?,” he’d asked softly, looking down at William. William had only nodded, cheeks flushed with heat, before Est let him go immediately. The video went viral before they made it back to the dorm.
Fans edited the clip, slowed it down and zoomed in, focusing on the intensity in Est’s eyes, the bob of William’s throat as he nodded at Est, the possessive stroke of his thumb against William’s hip.
The internet lost its mind and the clip had a million views by the end of the night.
“Did you see the way Mr. Bodyguard looked at him? So possessive. #bodyguardidolromance”
”There’s something there. Look at how he looks at William.”
“Who is the hottie bodyguard? He seems new?”
Est thought he’d be fired. Instead the company told him to ignore the fans and keep doing his job. William even apologised to him after, as if any of it had been his fault.
“Thank you for protecting me Khun Est. It can get quite chaotic out there.” Est had waved it off, but the subtext was clear. A line carefully drawn in the sand between them.
So he tried to focus on the job.
He ignored the edits and hashtags. Ignored the eyes on him every time he stepped out with the group. Ignored the people who tried to dig into him and his past.
All of that for a moment that had lasted mere seconds.
But when the lights went out and everything was quiet, the memory would replay in his head. The weight of William in his arms, his heat still lingering behind. The way William had fit as if he was meant to be in Est’s arms.
It all meant nothing, he told himself. But the internet, apparently, disagreed.
Year One
The year had been full of “moments” according to the Internet.
“Why does he take care of him like that?”
“I wish my crush looked at me, the way William’s bodyguard looks at him.”
“There’s no way they aren’t together behind closed doors.
According to Est he was just doing his job.
And it was his job to notice things before anyone else did.
To notice when William’s smile strained after too many back to back events. To step in and murmur, “Sit down for five minutes, Khun William,” when it was clear the boy would keep going till he dropped.
It was his job to make sure he’d eaten, to intercept the third energy drink of the day at 2pm and replace it with actual food. To give him a stern look and say “Eat this,” in a tone that brooked no argument.
It was his job to make sure William didn't freeze to death.
The event had been outdoors, and like all their events they had been styled more for visuals than for comfort. Est briefly thought William looked beautiful when he first stepped out of the dressing room. He was wearing a thin silk shirt, artfully styled with a few open buttons showing off his collarbones and a hint of skin before Est registered just how cold it was.
William had insisted he was fine, waving and interacting with the fans as usual but Est had seen the tells. The way his teeth pressed against his lips to stop a shiver. The way he rubbed his forearms when he thought no one was looking.
So Est did what he would have done for any of the other boys under his protection.
He stepped forward during a break in the fan interaction, shrugged off his jacket and draped it on William’s shoulders without a word.
“You’ll get sick,” he said quietly.
William blinked up at him, surprised, before he slipped his arms into the sleeves. The jacket was too big for him, the cuffs swallowing his hands, the collar brushing lightly against his lips.
“Thank you,” William murmured, smiling softly, before turning back to the fans. Est stepped back immediately, one step behind him as always.
It was just a jacket. Just insulation against the cold.
It didn’t mean anything that William burrowed into it as if seeking out the residual heat from Est’s body. It didn’t mean anything that William zipped it up slowly, smoothing it down with careful hands. It didn’t mean anything that William was photographed wearing it until the end of the night, the oversized jacket clearly not part of his stage outfit.
It didn't mean anything when the photos were posted online - side by side comparison of the jacket on Est earlier and then on William. Cropped in frames of Est’s large hands on William’s shoulders as he draped the jacket, his face soft in a way it only ever was around William.
It didn’t mean anything when the fans captioned it boyfriend behaviour. It didn't mean anything when William’s hands brushed against his, when he returned the neatly folded jacket, at the end of the night.
Of course it didn’t mean anything at all.
Year Two
By the end of the second year, the internet didn't just notice moments, they expected them.
There'd even been a poll ranking the best of them. According to their shippers, it was a close tie between Est carrying an ice cream for William on a hot day and the one where Est had caught a soft toy thrown at William with one hand and a glare. But the one that hovered in his mind had been at the fan sign they’d had after LYKN had released their newest album.
The members were seated at a long table, signing autographs, answering the questions of those fans lucky enough to get a chance to meet their favourite idols. Some of the fans had bought small gifts, each one approved by security before being presented to the idols. William sat at the edge of the table, close to Est, who was acutely aware of just how many steps it would take to close the distance between them.
The fan sign was winding down, the last few fans going through the line when it happened. An eager fan leaned forward with a puppy ears headband and asked William to wear it.
William blinked, startled and tried to politely refuse but the fan insisted. Est was debating stepping in, when the fan reached out and placed the headband on his head haphazardly before Willian could protest. One of the ears drooped, blocking his vision.
The crowd squealed at how cute William looked. He laughed, fumbling to adjust himself and leaned dangerously close to the edge of the chair before Est’s firm grip caught him by the elbow to stop him from falling.
His other hand moved to William’s hair, adjusting the headband and fixing the puppy ears back in place and smoothing William’s hair.
Est let his hands linger longer than strictly necessary, stroking William’s soft hair under the pretense of fixing it. “Can you see?,” Est asked quietly.
William tilted his face and gave Est that blinding smile that Est had fallen hard for. “Yeah,” he said, “Thank you Phi Est.”
Est froze.
Phi.
The soft sound of it sent a shiver through him and for a moment, the world disappeared and it was only the two of them there.
And then Est took a step back, one step behind William as always, heart racing at William’s intimate address.
He knew someone would have already caught the interation on video, but he didn't let himself check the comments until he was back in the safety of his room, alone with the soft glow of his phone.
“How can anyone survive William smiling at them like that?”
“The fan said William called him Phi Est sobs”
“I’m never recovering from this.”
A fan club had caught the exact moment William had smiled at him, eyes crinkled with warmth, expression achingly tender, like it was a moment shared just by the two of them. Est saved the picture on his phone, staring at it for a long moment in the dark, letting the memory settle. The echo of William’s smile and the soft Phi carried him into sleep.
Year Three
Est groaned as he went through the comments.
“OMG! Did you see how careful Est was with William?”
“Not Est helping William down the stairs like a prince”
“I think my heart exploded. I can't believe I caught that live.”
He thought back to the moment he had completely lost his head just a few hours ago.
The last concert of LYKN’s tour was winding down. It had been a blur of airplanes, hotel rooms and endless rehearsals, each city melting into the next and it was finally almost over. William had been brilliant, commanding the stage with each ease, his powerful voice ringing through arenas in a way that made it impossible to look away.
But Est was glad the boys could finally take a break after that. The strain of constant travel and performances was visible on each of their faces after the tough few months.
The last concert ended, the band still high on the crowd’s energy, adrenaline still humming in the air. They finished up their last song and stepped down the stairs to interact with their fans. Est had watched as Nut and Hong had helped Tui and Lego down the stairs and before he could think it through he stepped forward and lent a hand to William.
Heat had risen to his cheeks when William had actually accepted it. The squeals and murmurs of the crowd had washed over them but Est’s focus had narrowed to the small, warm hands gripping his firmly, that had trusted Est to keep him safe in his exhaustion.
When William’s hands left his to reach out to the crowd, smiling, waving and letting his hands brush against theirs, Est had followed him. He stayed one step behind as always, his eyes never leaving William.
He noted the curve of his smile, the bead of sweat on his brow, the light catching in his hair. William kept glancing back at him, meeting his gaze again and again as they moved through the crowd.
The crowd continued to shriek at them both, capturing every moment of their interaction. But to Est none of that mattered. All he saw at that moment was William and the way he smiled at him.
Year Four
The band had decided to take a break, pausing their endless schedules for Nut & Hong to finish their final year of university. Est had a moment of panic at the thought of not seeing William for a whole year, but he had somehow been roped into continuing as William’s bodyguard.
With his friends gone they ended up spending a lot more time in each other’s company. They’d been spotted together more than once, at late night ramen runs after rehearsals, at shopping malls - Est trailing a step behind William - carrying his bags, walking out of cafés with the same drink in hand.
The constant time together had blurred the lines so much that Est wasn’t sure where they ended anymore. Each moment between them felt sharper, each glance heavier with all the things left unsaid between them.
Halfway through the year, William landed an acting gig that needed him to bulk up, and he shyly asked Est for his guidance in the gym. Est’s mind had wandered to some unprofessional places as he imagined William sweating under his supervision, before he focused and said yes.
And so began what the fandom had quickly dubbed their “gym dates”. Est told himself he didnt really do much. He spotted William during lifts and timed his workouts while making sure he didn’t push himself too much. Practical things, entirely professional. Nothing untoward.
And yet a short clip surfaced days later. Someone had caught them mid workout, laughing side by side, arms brushing slightly, their chemistry obvious to the naked eye. Fans wasted no time dissecting every move.
”They’re so cute together!”
“Couple fitness goals. Nobody tell me they aren’t together!”
“Goodness, those suits really hid the muscles that Est has on him.”
Est couldn't stop watching the clip again and again, looking for the meaning behind each glance William shot him. He was waiting to take William home from his workshops when he was finally caught.
He’d looked up from his phone to see William staring at him watching the clip. “Just checking our form,” Est mumbled as he rushed to put the phone away. William gave him a penetrating look and Est hurried them out of the building.
As they walked to the car from the building to the parking lot, a sudden storm broke. They took one look at each other before Est grabbed William’s hand and they ran to the car without a word. Rain pelted down, drenching them in moments, plastering their clothes against their skin, breathless laughter following in their wake.
Inside the car, the storm rattled the roof, the world outside the window blurred into silver streaks, only illuminated by occasional flashes of lightening. William’s hand was still in his, warm and steady.
The space between them was smaller than usual, tight with tension from the years of near misses. The heat that had always simmered between them, was an inferno begging to be lit.
Est let go first, turning away to start the car.
He drove them to William’s condo in silence. Once there, Est placed the bags he was carrying on the kitchen counter and turned to leave, but as he did, he found William watching him with an unnerving intensity.
William stepped closer. Their faces drew closer, breath mingling, lips almost touching. William’s arms brushed against his, and everything else dropped away.
Time stretched and rain continued to pour outside. Est’s pulse roared in his ears. God, he wanted to close the distance between them. He wanted to close it so badly.
Instead he took a deep breath before looking away. “You should get some rest,” he said, taking that all important single step back from the lines he wasn’t allowed to cross.
William froze.
Est watched as something flickered across William’s face - confusion, longing and something that looked dangerously like sadness - before disappearing so quickly he thought he’d imagined it.
“Oh, okay,” William said softly. He took a step back and turned away, “Good night P’Est.”
As Est left the apartment, barely aware of the rainwater dripping from his hair and clothes, he pretended he had imagined the hurt in William’s voice.
Year Five
The press tour for the show was chaos. Even Est who had once thought he’d seen everything was surprised by the screaming fans that followed them at every event, the cameras shoved in William’s face.
William moved through it all with a practiced smile, charming and magnetic with Est one step behind him. Always watching, always ready.
At a live interview, a reporter leaned forward, “William, your fans are dying to know. Any new developments in your love life?” He flicked a glance at Est watching from the side.
William brushed off the question smiling, “I’m just focused on my work right now.”
The reporter persisted, “Come on, everyone wants to know. You’ve often been photographed in a certain someone’s company. People say you’ve been dating them for years now.”
William still kept calm, his smile never quite faltering, but Est saw the almost imperceptible pause before answering. “I think people enjoy writing stories,” he said lightly. “I’m just lucky to have a lot of people supporting me.”
Before the reporter could press further William’s coworker Beck leaned in and draped an arm around William, “So that’s a no on the dating then? Does that mean I have a chance?”
The room tittered in delight. William laughed it off, playing into the joke. The interviewer moved on.
But Est barely heard any of it. All he could focus on was the casual way Beck’s hand rested on William’s back. Familiar and comfortable like it had learned the shape of him and knew exactly where to settle.
Est found his jaw tightening, every instinct screaming at him to remove Beck’s hand. He felt his control begin to fracture, so he slipped out of the room, heading straight to William’s dressing room, frustration simmering just below the surface.
His phone was already blowing up. He shut the door and opened it to hundreds of notifications, mentions and tags. Someone had captured his reaction the moment Besk had draped his arm on William and he saw the video of him standing across the room, eyes dark with anger, posture rigid in a way that had nothing to do with security protocol.
Comments flooded in beneath it, each one adding to his irritation.
“LMAO, Est is so jealous.”
“He looked like he was a second away from breaking Beck’s hand.”
“Wow Est, possessive much?”
The door rattled a few minutes later before opening and William approached him slowly.
“P’Est. Are you okay?”
Est didn't look up, still trying to get a handle on his anger. He watched as William’s shoes stopped in front of him.
“I’m sorry.” William said softly, “I know you don’t like being linked with me when you are just trying to do your job. I’ve talked to P’Ko and told him not to allow questions like that again….”
Est felt the last thread of his control snap. He closed the distance without another word, pulling William closer and pressing their lips in a sudden, sharp kiss. He poured all his frustration and longing into it.
William froze at first and then eagerly responded. He pressed his hands against Est to steady himself against the assault but Est didn’t slow down. Instead Est walked him back and picked him up before putting William down onto the dressing table.
Est stepped in between his knees, one hand sliding up William’s side before landing in his hair. The other found his waist, thumb pressing slow circles against it. He tugged William closer and kissed him harder, years of restraint finally giving way.
When Est pulled away from William’s lips, William made a half frustrated, half annoyed sound, fingers tightening in Est’s jacket as if trying to pull him back.
Est smirked, before turning his attention to William’s jaw, trailing soft, wet kisses along it in penance before brushing his lips against William’s ear. William shivered in response.
Est answered by returning to his lips, kissing him with the same intensity and hunger, the irritation now melting away. William responded just as fiercely, refusing to accept any distance between them.
They kissed till someone knocked on the door, shattering the moment.
Both of them froze.
Another knock followed, louder this time. “Two minutes before we leave.” P’Ko’s voice called out through the door.
Est rested his forehead briefly against William’s before he pulled back from each. William stayed on the table, breath uneven, lips flushed, hair a mess, looking thoroughly wrecked. Est felt a surge of pride at the sight.
He stepped closer, tilting William’s face gently but firmly so their eyes met. “Dont let him touch you again,” he said voice low, threaded with something deeper than anger.
William swallowed and let out a small laugh, despite Est’s intensity. He reached up, tugging Est down and placed a kiss on his nose.
“You’re impossible,” he murmured, eyes soft with warmth.
Est noticed he didn’t argue.
The premiere was chaos. The red carpet was full, reporters and photographers all vying for the actors attention by shouting at them, voices and words overlapping.
When William was called forward to pose, Beck stepped closer as well, slipping into the space Est now considered his. He lifted his arm, ready to settle it around William’s shoulders.
This time Est didn't hesitate. He stepped forward and caught Beck’s arm, gently but firmly guiding it away.
“Please keep some space.”
The tone was polite but firm.
Beck blinked, surprised and then grinned brightly before lifting both hands in surrender.
“Alright, alright,” he said, stepping back.
William didn’t look at Est. He adjusted his jacket, turning back to the cameras, deliberately keeping a gap between him and Beck. The flashes went off again capturing every angle and expression. Est could only imagine the comments.
Later once they were back in William’s apartment, getting ready for bed, William leaned against the counter with a mischievous smile. He pulled out his phone and started reading the fan comments out loud.
”Did you see the way Est moved Beck’s hand?”
“Can I just say I love how possessive Est is?”
“Poor Beck. I hope he realises Est will never let him take William away “
Est groaned, half amused, half exasperated, he never should have told William about his secret social media perusal. “You’re terrible,” he muttered, running a hand over his face.
William’s grin widened, “Want to hear more?”
Est shook his head, smiling and took one step closer, eliminating the distance between them.