Chapter Text
A figure stared back at her in the mirror. He had sharp features, muscles, a flat chest. He wore the same short sleeved shirt, cropped just high enough to not reach all the way to his low waisted jeans that she did.
He was nothing like her
He was just like her
She didn't realize when she started crying, but the man mimiced it completely. She tried to wipe her tears onto her hoodie sleeves, but they kept escaping and the mirror kept mimicing.
"Sam?" Her brother called. She knew Dean had been mad at her for not looking for him. She knew she deserved that anger.
"Sammy, hey, what's wrong, kiddo?" He pulled her away from the mirror. Dean held one of her hands and tried to wipe her tears. They kept rolling.
She couldn't talk to Dean about the man. He never could. He wouldn't understand.
"Do I look like a girl?"
But she couldn't keep it in either. Not when she felt that she was being eaten alive by names and skin. Not when she wanted to carve herself out of the body that covered her.
"Sam, what-"
She interrupted. "Please, Dean. Do I?"
"No, you look like a normal guy."
She cried harder.
Dean led her to a chair, forcing her to sit while he tried to calm her down. "Sam, why are you crying?"
She didn't know how to get it out that his every sentence felt like a burn on her flesh, the name he called her felt like arrows in her back. She couldn't get it out. All she could manage was
"'m not Sam."
Her brother tensed. She felt his hand leave her back. "What do you mean you're 'not Sam'. I did all the tests-"
"Not- not like that. I- I can't be Sam. I- I don't think I ever really was." She wiped her tears, trying to calm herself down.
Dean sighed. "What does that mean? Of course you're Sam. That's what you've always been. You're my little brother."
And if that didn't burn her alive, only real fire would.
"... Amelia-"
"The girl you abandoned me for?" Dean's tone shifted to something angrier. He was still trying to stay calm, which she appreciated, but he clearly didn't want to talk about her supposed ex-girlfriend.
"Dean," She looked up, hoping he might see her, not the man in the mirror, the man covering her skin. "I'm Amelia."