Work Text:
Subspace was tempted to slam his head on his desk, but his face is already super messed up, so it would probably just make things worse. His new experiment wasn’t working for shit.
He was trying to form a new, more powerful creation. As of right now, he’s using various crystal shards, which he meticulously connected into a complete shape. Yet nothing was working. It stayed dull and disconnected.
All hope seemed completely, even utterly, lost. Until a new idea came upon Subspace.
Make life.
Use his biological materials to create life, instead of using inanimate forms. He has plenty of things to use. Plants, animal parts, parts and DNA of other inphernals, himself. (He’s not going to get pregnant.)
Ah, he and Medkit. Now THAT would be an interesting creation. Some sort of healing hodgepodge of a support, and a good chance that it’ll be born with the rot. Hopefully this being will have the temperament of Medkit, but the passion of Subspace himself.
The potential visual of it is intriguing. It may fully resemble one of them, or it may be a fusion between the two. Perhaps it will take after the better looking father.
“Ahehehehe…” Subspace chuckled. This is a devious idea indeed. He’s got plenty of samples from Medkit that can be used, such as hair, and the eye, and even the little piece of his horn that Subspace snagged.
He began with haste. Taking parts of his dna, and parts of Medkit’s trying to figure out how to get this right. Creating a life form from scratch is far from easy, and it’s highly likely that Subspace will need to sneak to the Spawn and form it there.
♡
It worked.
It’s not what Subspace expected, and it was hard sneaking around to get to the Spawn to create it, but now he has a little newspawn. With his many qualifications when it comes to nature VS the unnatural, he was able to deduce that this newspawn was not a normal one. He may just have to drop it off at Crossroads for some unfortunate inphernal to find.
Its horns are small, but curve towards its face like Subspace’s, yet they’ve got small little parts that branch off a bit like Medkit’s. And it’s got stubby arms and legs. Its horns are blue and purple, which tracks due to the colors of Subspace and Medkit’s horns.
It’s clear was unclear for the first day, but it seems to be a flashbang. Almost exactly as he hoped for! Creating a supporting inphernal, which he almost wants to train himself. But he can’t, he’ll likely die before he helps adequately with it.
Subspace grabs his phone and calls Hyprrlaser.
“What do you need?”
“I made something. You’ve gotta see it.”
“…okay…”
Subspace promptly hung up and waited excitedly. He’s stayed up all night to analyze it, and has not been properly taking the medications he needs to survivor staying up much longer. (Antipsychotics and pain killers)
“What do you need, Subspace?” Hyperlaser asked when he arrived.
“HYPERLASER I AM ASCENDINNG TO GOD HOOD. I HAVE CREATED LIFE!” He showed the stupid fucking baby to Hyperlaser who, unfortunately was not visible, actually dropped his jaw on the ground. The baby was moving too and smiling.
“I am a father now, but I’ve gotta become absent. Will you deal with this?”
“Hello?! You can’t just give me something like this and then assume I’m going to just grab it and go. I have things to do. How did you even make this?!” Hyperlaser was ASTOUNDED!
“Well, it started two days ago…”
Subspace described his process in great detail, leaving out the fact that he had kept Medkit’s eye in a jar all this time. He also made sure Hyperlaser was aware that he was running off of pure adrenaline and would likely be doubled over in pain within the coming hours.
“Please, at least make sure it doesn’t end up on the streets of Blackrock. I may not want to be present in its life but I still care about it. I don’t want it to call me ‘dad’ and then i keel over dead the next day from my ailment. Bring it to someone far more suited for the life of being a father, like Medkit. Or, keep it for the next two days while I rest, and then I can deal with it on my own.” After Subspace yapped Hyperlaser’s brain into oblivion, he reluctantly agreed to keep it for two nights.
“Only two. Unless you’re completely bedridden, I’m going to hold you to it.”
“That is completely fine!”
Then he was bedridden from pain and withdrawals for like four days.
Subspace kept the baby inphernal in his little tripmine holder thingy that he has, because nobody can hear it. He creeped around Crossroads, looking for an all too familiar face.
[Wheres medkit?!] Thought Subspace. [I know he comes around here at least sometimes, and Immgoing to find him.]
He searched around, and even asked a few people, before eventually seeing him.
“OH MEDDY!!! I NEED SOMETHING G FROM YOU!” Subspace shouted from a distance, proceeding to run towards him as fast as his feeble body could.
It took like another hour before Subspace finally cornered Medkit.
This is his end.
The end of a more or less peaceful life. He will now be burdened by taking care of a baby despite no such form of an inphernal having existed in forever.
“Meddy, you will be thrilled to hear this! I actually have something for you that isn’t death!” Aw damn.
“He’s very cute but I can’t take care of him, and honestly it really resembles you.” Hello?! Whattttt is Mr. Subspace talking about.
“And it’ll be a great way to remember me, since it’s by me and greatly involved me!” Subspace got even closer to Medkit, and then gave him the baby.
“Subspace what the fuck is this…” Medkit was astounded, just like Hyperlaser.
“It’s our child.”
“WHAT?!”
“Yeah! I can’t take care of it because I’m busy so you’ll have to take care of it.” Subspace said. Then he hit his E Skill and ran away.
Medkit brought the kid to an orphanage instead of actually taking care of it.