Work Text:
Tea Time 🫖 @itsteatimewithj
Ilya Rozanov was apparently late picking up both his husband and his Mother-in-Law from the airport! Rozanov appeared apologetic in a new video taken from his Mother-in-Law’s Instagram story:
Video 1:
[Video shot from the backseat of Hollander’s Jeep Cherokee: Rozanov is driving while both Yuna and Shane Hollander sit in the back seat. Yuna Hollander is holding the camera, the shot shifting back and forth from Rozanov to Shane Hollander. Rozanov can be heard letting out a nervous laugh and saying, “Damn it. Thought I timed it right. I’m sorry. Is no excuse. No excuse.”
Both Hollanders can be heard laughing. The camera shot settles on a smiling, pink-cheeked Shane Hollander, who is holding a large, fresh bouquet of roses in his lap. “It's okay, baby,” he can be heard saying softly.]
↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife46
”it’s okay baby” why am I literally shivering
↳↳Cents Stan @centsoncentsoncents
does Shane Hollander….talk you through it?
↳↳↳hollanov on top @itsashutout2
they did say he was a task master sort of captain 👀
↳↳↳↳hollanov on top @itsashutout2
does well with clear instructions and feedback if you know what I mean 😝
↳Boston FTW @raidersforthwin
Roz apologizing? Roz being polite? Boston Roz? Penalty Box Roz?
↳↳It’s B-Town Til I Die @sallypalmer87
Boston's Biggest Bastard™️Roz?????
↳↳↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
I know his old coaches are scratching their heads 😵💫
↳↳↳↳ally 🏒 @allywallypally
The secret was apparently big ole brown eyes and a fat ass 😩😭
↳↳↳↳↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
No because when did Shane get all that ass??? I saw them yacht pics 🤨
↳↳↳↳↳↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
I'm so glad you brought that up because AWOOGA
↳Shane Hollander’s left tit @lilylaughsart
We need Shane to teach a course: how to domesticate your local man whore
↳↳caecilia 🙂@caellysworld
Like you CAN turn a hoe into a housewife???? Lessons neowwwww
↳let my cens fight @censgoaliestan
Isn’t there literally a game tonight??? And Shane’s just getting in???
↳↳Hollander’s #1 Girl @ allabout24
It’s preseason babe pretty sure Holz isn’t playing tonight
↳↳↳Dream Girl 🌈@dreamgurlevul
Wait does that mean WAG SHANE?
↳↳↳↳Its Hole-ander actually @ hollalujah
WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE
↳↳↳↳↳No It IS That Serious 🏒 @hockeyismylife46
WAG SHANE and we’re playing MONTREAL oh they messy messy
Puck Buzz @puckbuzzgossip
Shane Hollander-Rozanov hangs up his skates for the night to sit with the other SAPs (Spouses and Partners) at tonight’s pre-season exhibition game between the Ottawa Centaurs and the Montreal Metros 👀. We’re told Shane’s other half will be on the ice tonight, so watch this space!
Photo 1:
[Shane Hollander is seated next to Cassie Boodram (her son Milo, in a jersey of his own, is seated on her lap wearing noise-cancelling headphones), Caitlin Dykstra, Lisa Hayes, and Harris Drover. The five adults appear engrossed in conversation, leaning in to each other’s space with wide smiles. They’re each wearing a custom red and black jersey emblazoned with a “Mr.” or “Mrs.” followed by the last name of their partner and their number.]
↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
Shane Hollander stans we so up rn
↳hollanov on top @itsashutout2
We gotta do better than SAPS ibeg!!!!
↳Boiziau’s Baby Mama @JJBrescueme
Ugh Hollander looks good asl 😩. Chat, is it time to actually give the Cens a chance?
↳↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife46
We're not accepting new members as the borders of the hollanation are now closed, i fear
↳↳↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
I was in the TRENCHES defending my boy from m******* fans get away from him!!!!
↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
Saw Shane Hollander and started barking my bad
↳Its Hole-ander actually @ hollalujah
WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE WAG SHANE
↳↳Cents and Centsability @goodgollymissmolly
There's a universe where Shane Hollander doesn't play hockey and has a full-time job as Ilya's WAG
↳↳↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
The Yuna-fication of Shane Hollander
↳↳↳↳Boston FTW @raidersforthwin
Does Roz still play for Boston in that universe I'm tryna see if I need to get a theoretical physics degree
Ra Ra Rozanov🐻@mrsraiders81
GIRL
Photo 1:
[A blurry photo of several of the players from the Montreal Metros looking in the direction of Shane Hollander. Hollander does not appear to be paying attention.]
↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife46
Get away from him! Get a job!!
↳↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
Girl this is their job 😭
↳↳↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife46
DO THEY KNOW THAT
↳↳↳↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
↳Shelly 🏒 @gearheadgirl
Every time g****** c***** even LOOKS in Shane’s direction I get heated WE ALL SAW YOU LIKIN THOSE™️TWEETS
↳↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
and then un-liking them…..like…..stand on your mess bitch
↳↳↳Shane Hollander’s left tit @lilylaughsart
The way shane isnt even on the ice and is still the center of attention
↳↳↳↳hollanov on top @itsashutout2
His power
↳↳↳↳↳Shane Hollander’s left tit @lilylaughsart
And He ain't even paying attention fr he gossiping with the girls 🤣
Suffering Montreal Fan @gometrosgoiguess
And when Montreal loses to Ottawa tonight without Shane on the ice….then what……like i thought Hollander leaving was supposed to fix everything
↳↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
Right wasn't they talking about being “back and better than ever”??? Oh okay!
↳↳↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
That happy birthday tweet was a ‘u up’ text if I've ever seen one Ilya hide Shane’s phone!!!
Cents Stan @centsoncentsoncents
🚨 Shane is holding a baby Shane is holding a BABY
Photo 1:
[Photo taken from inside the arena: A photo of the jumbotron displaying a smiling Shane Hollendar and Milo Boodram. The toddler is sitting on Hollander’s lap. Both Hollander and the toddler are waving at the jumbotron.]
↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife4
Look at his Lil headphones 😭
↳caecilia 🙂@caellysworld
Ilya give Shane a baby right neowwwww
↳↳Cents and Centsability @goodgollymissmolly
Hollup on the baby we got a season to win, twin
BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed
“I have a date!” Hockey’s favorite Lover Boy, Ilya Rozanov-Hollander, seen running to catch up with his husband after tonight's victory 🏃♂️
Video 1:
[Video shot in the Ottawa Centaurs’ Locker Room. Troy Barrett is prepping for post-game interviews when Ilya Rozanov is seen running behind him, buttoning his shirt as he goes. One of his shoes is untied.
“In a rush, Roz?” Barrett can be heard laughing.
“I have a date!” Rozanov says without looking back, jogging out of the locker room.]
Video 2:
[Video shot in the lower levels of the arena: Shane Hollander is seen walking alongside Cassie and Milo Boodram. They’re walking slowly, chatting. Ilya Rozanov is seen entering the frame, still jogging. Without looking back, Hollander reaches out his hand for Rozanov, who takes it.]
Photo 1:
[A blurry shot from the arena’s parking garage. Rozanov is seen holding open a car door for Hollander, who is holding a rather large bouquet of flowers.]
↳Boston FTW @raidersforthwin
Live video of Ilya Rozanov leaving Boston for Shane Hollander 😢
↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
What kind of spell did Shane cast to turn a hoe into a housewife like…what in the hollavoodoo
↳↳ally 🏒 @allywallypally
Right like…drop the etsy witch link. Lemme support a small business
↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife4
Whose prayer do we want? Shane's or Ciara's?
↳↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
¿Por qué no los dos?
↳hollanov on top @itsashutout2
He running? Oh Shane doing splits on it, i see
↳↳Cents Stan @centsoncentsoncents
Imagine having cookie so good a man RUNS to OTTAWA for you
↳Ra Ra Rozanov🐻 @mrsraiders81
Loverboy Ilya Rozanov clocking in
↳↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife46
The way shane never stopped moving. He knows Roz will catch up
↳arianators do it best @fefyfofum
A MAN
↳↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
Shane has Ilya Rozanov running after him like a dog on a leash and I can't get a text back 😩
↳↳↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife46
Bestie STAND UP
↳Boston Strong💪 @charlieguy1776
Roz gotta stand tf up
↳↳💪🔥 @gymratwestside
Right like what did they do to my boy????
↳Sal’s Shop 🚗 @mrfixit617
Can't believe they neutered rozy
↳↳Boston Strong💪 @charlieguy1776
Woke mob actually got to a Boston legend. The Roz i know ain't ever running after a bitch
↳↳↳Shane Hollander’s left tit @lilylaughsart
Mind you the “bitch” in question is literally his husband
↳↳↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
Boston fans try not to be weird about hollanov level impossible
↳↳↳hollanov on top @itsashutout21
God forbid a man not disrespect or disappoint his spouse
↳↳↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife46
Said by someone who gets no bitches
↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife46
the metros really thought Shane would fake trip for that man and not the other way around 🤣
↳↳Shane Hollander’s left tit @lilylaughsart
Ilya Rozanov would literally lay himself in a puddle and let Shane walk across him if it kept him dry
↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
Shane in Ilya’s jersey #noticing
↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
Ilya baby ain't nobody taking him from you
↳↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
Oh no I'm trying to steal him forsure run faster Russian boy
↳Jelly Belly @gearheadbi
“Oh rozanov’s manipulating him.” “Rozanov’s def cheating on hollzy” this rozanov? this one right here?
↳↳Lashes by Lexi @bostonlashlex
Nah fr like…Shane has a good day every day. Ilya only has a good day if Shane looks at him 😭😭😭😭
↳hollanov on top @itsashutout21
Shane stay with some flowers don't he???
↳↳No It IS That Serious🏒 @hockeyismylife46
Roz single handedly keeping north american florists in business