Chapter Text
Severus Snape stared blankly at the wall, the bustling noise of the crowd around him dissolving into something distant and insubstantial.
“Do you want me to go in with you, Severus?” a quiet voice asked.
He looked up at his mother. Her obsidian eyes were soft, but there was a hollowness behind them. His gaze dropped to her hand, noticing the faint tremor in her fingers as they hovered at her side.
“No,” Severus replied after a brief pause. “I can manage on my own.”
He knew she had no time to waste, with her husband waiting for her to return and grovel for his forgiveness.
Severus adjusted his grip on the worn strap of his suitcase. There was a tear near the handle. It was a reminder of how Severus’ father had wrenched it from his hand, shouting that if Severus went to that “freak school,” he would never again consider Severus as his son.
And yet, he found himself in front of the brick wall. It was the final barrier, before he fell into the world his father despised— a world full of magic and wonder.
“Are you certain you don’t want me to come with you?” his mother asked again, her voice full of concern. “It’s your first time.”
Severus gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’ve already explained everything,” he assured her. “I’m not a helpless child, so you needn’t worry.”
She gave him a skeptical look, clearly unconvinced. Severus pretended to not notice, and turned his attention forward.
He understood her doubts. He had been isolated from the wizarding world, his only bridge were his mother’s magical tales. It would be absurd for an eleven year old to navigate a completely foreign world.
But there was something she did not know. A secret tucked carefully into his luggage at this very moment.
The Harry Potter books.
Seven volumes chronicling the arduous journey of a boy destined to save the wizarding world— books that he had found in his local muggle library.
The books were strange— The pages appeared handwritten, not printed, as though someone had painstakingly poured hours into writing. On the first page of each book, a cryptic message had been scrawled in dark ink.
If you had a chance to rewrite, would you?
To escape destiny, you must fool it first.
Severus had no clue what it meant, but for some reason, it resonated deeply with him in a way he couldn’t ignore.
But the stranger thing was within their pages, he existed. Not as a hero, but a side character who was defined by tragedy. A professor who was made by bitterness and hatred.
When he first discovered the initial book, Severus had thought it a coincidence that he shared a name with the character. But as the years passed, and he slowly found the other books to complete the series, the parallels became undeniable. His resemblance to the bitter professor was too precise to chalk it off as a coincidence.
He began to realize the overlaps between the fictional world and the real world. Lily, the girl with fiery red hair that lived in the upper end of Cokeworth, appeared in both. Severus could not deny he had initially been drawn to her, until learning of the devastating tragedy— their friendship.
He avoided her like the plague. Sometimes, it seemed like she sought him out, but he never gave her the chance. Any time he saw the colour red, he darted in the opposite direction.
The Harry Potter series riddled him with anxiety. The Professor Snape in the books lived a miserable life.
Severus did not want to live like him—
Severus would not live like him.
Avoiding Lily was to ensure that. After all, he was just a gangly boy from the slums, while she lived in a house with a white picket fence. There was no reason for their paths to ever cross, besides whimsical curiosity which Severus had already snuffed out.
Severus was not set on a path to destruction. On the contrary, he was set on a smooth sailing course. Of course, it wasn’t certain the Harry Potter books were an accurate telling of the future… But it at least granted him a surplus of knowledge of the wizarding world.
“I’ll be fine,” Severus asserted to his mother while taking a step forward to the brick wall. He didn’t know whether he meant to reassure his mother or himself. “I’ll write to you if I can.”
She didn’t know where his confidence was coming from, but she offered a slight nod. “You’ve always been strong,” she murmured. “Good luck.”
He did not look back to see his mother’s expression as he crossed the final barrier into a new world, and vanished into the brick wall.
·༻𐫱༺·
Severus Snape navigated through the sea of people, and boarded the Hogwarts Express. It was as overwhelming as he expected, with the chattering voices and bursts of laughter of friends and family ringing in his head. There was a warm atmosphere surrounding him, but he still felt cold.
Lost in the noise, he stumbled forward when someone collided into his back.
”I’m so sorry!” A young boy stammered. He was lanky, with ashen brown hair and startled wide eyes. Another clumsy first-year.
Though irritation flickered across his face, Severus merely inclined his head and stepped away without a word. He did not have time to waste.
He found an empty compartment at the end of the corridor, and slipped inside, shutting the door behind him.
Drawing his wand, he readied to mutter a spell, “Colloport-“
“Hey, I found an empty compartment-“ The voice bursted through the corridor just as the recently closed door swung wide open again.
Severus looked up with a scowl, to only find himself staring up awkwardly to a boy with wild black hair and round glasses. The rest of the boy’s sentence faltered as he flushed, clearly caught off guard.
“I am so sorry, I didn’t know this compartment was occupied,” he said sheepishly.
Severus didn’t respond. He wasn’t entirely certain how to. Instead, he gave another of his quiet nods.
The boy, however, did not move. He lingered in the doorway, giving an expectant look. “Most of the other compartments are full…” the boy continued. “And if it’s just you, would you mind if my friend and I joined you?”
Severus opened his mouth to refuse, “I don’t see why not.”
… The words had come out differently.
“Wicked!” The boy beamed, while Severus inwardly scowled at his mistake.
“Oi, come here,” he called over his shoulder. “The lad’s letting us sit with him.”
”That’s brilliant!” Another boy popped into the doorway’s frame.
He had curly black hair and a wild look in his eyes. He just reeked of trouble, and Severus did not like that at all.
Severus exhaled slowly. It could be worse. With new faces in his compartment, even if they smelled like trouble, it ensured he wouldn’t risk some unfortunate encounter with the Marauders and create a rivalry that would haunt him until his death.
Perhaps this was not entirely disastrous.
The curly haired boy made himself at home at once, propping his feet on the opposite seat. He flashed Severus an easy grin, who tried his best not to return a sneer.
His bespectacled friend remained by the doorway, peering down the corridor.
“Hey, I think that girl over there is struggling to find a compartment as well,” he said. Then he leaned out and called, “Oi you, yes, you with the red hair! Want to come sit with us?”
Severus felt his mood darken in an instant. He had reluctantly allowed for those two buffoons to stay, but then they decided to invite more unwanted company.
As the intruders shuffled inside the compartment to make space, Severus felt himself shoved further into a corner. He cursed silently in his head.
Thank you so much,” a girl’s voice drifted into the compartment. “I really, really appreciate it.”
”It’s no biggie,” the bespectacled boy grinned.
Severus could already picture the foolish smile plastered on the boy’s face, ears no doubt turning red. He rolled his eyes. He was witnessing the blossom of a relationship before they even got to Hogwarts.
How utterly disgusting. But at the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a familiar blazing of red.
Severus stilled.
No.
Slowly, fighting every fight or flight instinct, he looked up.
A girl with fiery red hair and a smile stood at the doorway. Bright green eyes met his.
His stomach dropped as though he’d missed a step on a staircase.
The future he had been running away from immediately flashed before his eyes. The object of his depravity and obsession, the one that would supposedly haunt him for thirty years. A future he read that was full of hatred, sacrifice and bitterness.
And the object of it all was standing right in front of him.
Lily Evans.
·༻𐫱༺·
Severus could see her eyes flicker with recognition. He turned away at once, as though he knew nothing.
“Hey, you’re from Cokeworth, right?” The girl asked, unaware of his inner turmoil as she slid into the seat beside him.
The two boys glanced between them curiously.
“Yes,” Severus uttered a response, his voice shaky.
Lily’s eyes lit up. “I knew it— I live there too! Do you recognize me?” She asked earnestly.
“…No,” Severus lied. He couldn’t even look her straight in the eyes.
She looked crestfallen. “I recognized you, though. I’ve seen you around.” Her face then brightened again. “Regardless, I’m happy to have someone in the same boat as me.”
Severus gave a stiff nod, unsure of how to answer.
“It was such a surprise, you know,” she went on, her voice filled with winter. “Being told I’m a wizard and that magic is real. Never in a million years would I have thought…” She let out a small breath, almost laughing at herself. Was it the same for you?”
Merlin’s beard was this girl talkative.
He resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his noise. Of course it wasn’t the same, but it felt like a hassle to explain why he was raised in a miserable ditch called Spinner’s End, despite possessing magic that served him.
“Yes,” he said shortly. “A surprise.”
From across the compartment cut in a voice laced with curiosity.
“So you two know each other,” the bespectacled boy questioned curiously, his eyes lingering on Lily.
“No,” Severus snapped, perhaps too harshly as Lily looked at him with wide doe eyes. “… We lived in the same town, that’s all.”
Though her street had neat hedges and polished windows, while his reeked of alcohol and broken families. The vast difference between them might as well have been night and day.
“So…” the curly haired boy, who had been unusually quiet until now, leaned forward. “You two Muggle-borns?”
”Yes, I am,” Lily answered shyly.
“No,” Severus answered at the same time. “I’m a half-blood. My mum’s a witch, and my dad a muggle,” he added, noticing their puzzled expressions.
”That’s brilliant!” The bespectacled boy breathed, though he was looking straight at Lily, not him. “Is it true you lot have boxes with people trapped inside?”
Lily burst out laughing. “Trapped? No! It’s called a television. They’re recordings… Like moving photographs, I suppose.”
“How extraordinary!” He said, leaning forward with interest. “We don’t have anything like that. I come from a pure-blooded family— they’re a bit… conservative about Muggle things.”
”Conservative?” The curly-haired boy snorted. “That’s one word for it. My family would burn me at the stake for even uttering the word Muggle.” He stretched his arms behind his head lazily. “What family are you from anyways?”
“My family isn’t that extreme.” The bespectacled boy straightened slightly. “I’m a Potter, James Potter.” he said it like it ought to mean something. “Long line of Gryffindors,” he added with pride.
“Really?” The curly haired boy’s eyes lit up. “I hear the Potters are one of the more open-minded families.”
”That’s true,” Potter affirmed easily. “We aren’t like those blood supremacists.” He looked at him curiously. “What family are you from?”
The curly-haired boy hesitated for a second. “Black. Sirius Black” he muttered, his eyes downcast as if he was ashamed. “Though, not for long. I’m sure that house full of slimy, slithering Slytherins can’t wait to blast me off their inbred family tree,” he spat out.
Potter let out a low whistle. “The Blacks? Blimey.”
Black gave a humorless laugh. “Right? But I’m nothing like them though,” his voice clear and eyes full of determination. “And I’ll prove it by not being sorted into Slytherins.”
Potter grinned suddenly. ”Reckon you’ll end up in Gryffindor with me, then.”
”Anything will be better than rotting in the dungeons.”
Severus sat stiffly as the two continued to bash Slytherins. His throat felt dry, and he could feel a slight tremble in his hand.
Potter. Black.
How could he have been so stupid?
It had been right in his face, practically printed across their foreheads, and yet apparently he was blind as a bat.
He had spent his entire summer mapping out all the ways to avoid crossing paths with Lily and the Marauders. But here he was, sitting in the same compartment with them as one big and happy family.
It was as though the universe had read through his plans and decided to screw him over.
Across from him, Potter and Black were already laughing like old friends. Lily sat there innocently, while Potter stole small glances towards her.
The exact dynamics he had read was playing right in front of him. Except now, he was just a simple side character in their happiness. Not an object of their ridicule, and no sense of rivalry.
He was simply… there.
A quiet extra in the background of their easy happiness. Severus let out a breath of relief.
If he did nothing, and faded into the background, then perhaps he would remain irrelevant to their story. And that was fine. More than fine.
“You two haven’t introduced yourselves yet,” Potter said suddenly, disrupting Severus’ turbulent thoughts.
“I’m Lily Evans,” she said brightly.
All eyes shifted to Severus, and he could feel his heart pounding.
“… Severus Snape,” he managed to croak out.
Potter tilted his head slightly. “You said you’re a half-blood, right? What’s your wizarding family’s name?” Potter asked.
“I’m not sure,” Severus lied, his voice wavering just a bit.
“Your parents never told you anything about magic?” Black asked, brows lifting.
”No.” Severus kept his tone flat. “My parents raised me in a Muggle way. The wizarding world wasn’t exactly a favourite topic in my house.”
It wasn’t entirely untrue.
Lily’s expression brightened instantly. “So you’re like me!” She said, leaning slightly closer. “We’re both clueless about everything. That makes me feel so much better, you know, knowing that I’m not the only one that feels like an alien.”
Severus pressed himself further into the corner, as he could feel Potter’s gaze piercing through him. Was this psycho already sizing Severus up as his competitor in his perfect little love story?
”I can help you both,” Potter interjected quickly, his eyes mainly on Lily. “Or well, me and Sirius can help you two.”
Black gave an exaggerated bow from his seat. “Your very own wizarding consultants.”
“Really? That would be wonderful!”
“It’s no biggie,” Potter flushed, with Black giving him a teasing look.
Severus resisted to urge an eye roll. He didn’t need their help anyways. His role was to just be a third party roped in for Potter’s romance fantasies.
“The first lesson is to not be sorted in Slytherin,” Black’s voice was serious. “Better yet, you better avoid them altogether.”
Lily looked uncertain. “They can’t be that bad. You know, it’s just a Hogwarts house. The Hogwarts professor who came to my house said every house has its own merits.”
Black let out a short scoff. “Yeah? Well, the only merit a Slytherin has is being a slimy snake.” His jaw tightened. “They’re obsessed with blood purity. Power. All that rubbish.”
Potter nodded. “ They don’t exactly look kindly on Muggleborns, like you two,” he added, glancing at Lily, and briefly at Severus. “If you’re not a pure-blood… some of them think you’re lesser.”
Lily looked horrified. “So, does my blood status matter?” her voice was small.
Potter leaned forward quickly. “No— It’s just outdated nonsense some families cling to. You’d be fine. Especially if you’re in Gryffindor.”
”Exactly,” Black agreed. “The Hat’s not going to shove in with a bunch of extremists. It sorts people by what they’re like.”
Severus’ finger curled against his sleeve.
By what they’re like.
It struck him as oddly hypocritical— condemning an entire house for narrow-mindness while dismissing it just as blindly. Pure-bloods judged Muggleborns by blood. They judged Slytherins by their house.
It was a different prejudice, but it fell under the same hate.
Severus felt bitter.
He opened his mouth and then closed it promptly. He still admired Slytherin. The house that prided on ambition and resourcefulness, and the house his mother had been in. A part of him still wanted to be a Slytherin. But he knew, if he defended it, it would lead to much worse things.
“So you’re saying Gryffindor is the best house?” Lily cocked her head. “Don’t they like, pride themselves on bravery and courage?”
Potter’s chest puffed. “Yes, exactly.”
“What are the other houses?” She prodded.
“Hufflepuff is all about loyalty, Ravenclaw is about the brains,” Black explained. “For what it’s worth, they’re leagues better than Slytherin.”
Lily looked thoughtful. “I think I like the sound of Gryffindor. My mum has often said I’m too reckless for my own good.”
Black gave her a smile. “You’ll certainly make a good Gryffindor.”
Potter nodded in agreement. “Hopefully we’ll all be in Gryffindor together— How brilliant would that be!” His eyes drifted towards Severus. “Unless you’ve got other plans?”
The question hung heavier than it should’ve been.
“No…” his voice came out quieter than intended. “Anything but Slytherin is fine by me.”
Severus had already decided he would be sorted into Ravenclaw. It was the only house that made sense. Slytherin would just throw him onto the path of his demise. Gryffindor would drive him insane if he had to share the same house as Lily and the Marauders. Hufflepuff was okay, but Severus didn’t think the Sorting Hat would consider him a fit, due to his lack of loyalty for anyone.
But Ravenclaw? It was perfect. Severus loved knowledge. He was always curious about learning, especially about magic. He had dug up his mother’s carefully hidden textbooks, and learned how to make potions and cast spells before he even had a wand.
And yet, he could still feel his insides twisting. He outrightedly rejected Slytherin for the approval of two boys he met less than an hour ago.
It felt revolting.
Still, at least Potter and Black looked at him without animosity, but instead with approval of his Slytherin slander. The approval that Professor Snape had most likely never known.
Severus forced a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
”Knew you’d agree,” Black said with a smirk.
”I’m telling you,” Potter grinned, “we’re all ending up in Gryffindor. Just wait.”
”That would be great,” Lily beamed.
Black gave a wild grin. “I can’t wait to crush those slithering snakes.”
Severus forced himself to nod. “I hope so, as well.”