Chapter Text
You were all dressed up for the night and feeling like you were worth at least a million credits when you strolled into a local bar of Planarcadia. The heels of your shoes clicked against the polished floor beneath your feet, creating a nice rhythm to go along to the music that was currently buzzing in your ears. You wore fragrant, flowery perfume and the most expensive makeup that you could afford with your budget. Your lips were cherry red and you wore cute earrings to match your dress. Your hair was styled and smelt like sugary hair spray as you tucked a stray strand behind your ear. You had to resist the urge to go digging through your bag to look for your little pocket mirror. You had made sure that everything looked perfect before you left your apartment. There was not a single crinkle in your knee length dress that clung to your pudgy hips and waist like a fine silk to emphasise your curvaceous body nor were there any stray tears in your sheer lace stockings. Your long, painted nails dug into the flowy skirt of your dress as you silently fussed, casting your gaze around the bar to look for the person you were meeting here.
It had been Ashveil’s idea to invite you out to the bar tonight. The detective had just recently wrapped up a case and to celebrate the occasion, he invited you out for drinks. Bar hopping really wasn’t one of your favourite activities but you found yourself enthusiastically agreeing without hesitation as soon as Ashveil had mentioned it. You still remember the charming smile he had flashed you and the way his eyes had lit up when you agreed to tonight. The thought brought heat to your cheeks as the mysterious, ashen detective plagued your mind. He had been haunting your thoughts a lot more lately. It didn’t help that you had a huge, fat crush on the man. You had been a little infatuated since the moment you had first met him. He was drop dead gorgeous with quite the personality to go along with it. Though Planarcadia definitely wasn’t short on big personalities, it was Ashveil you fell for. You fell first and you fell hard.
You have been friends with him for a long time now. You occasionally helped him out where you could. You weren’t exactly cut out for detective work but you were resourceful. You did small things such as keeping his office space tidy from all the take-out boxes he regularly indulged in and helped sort all of his bills into appropriate folders in the filing cabinet. You got along well with each other. In fact you had invited him to your apartment several times just for movie night, when his work wasn’t too busy. You enjoyed your banter and the laughs you shared. And the more you hung around him the more your infatuation grew, to the point you think it was starting to suffocate you with its intensity.
So you were a complete bundle of nerves when you walked into the bar this evening. But you were doing everything in your power to act like you were confident. Tonight, you repeated to yourself like a mantra. Tonight will be the night you finally take that plunge and ask him out. You had come close to confessing several times by now. You sometimes couldn’t handle the way your stomach would bunch up into a flustered knot in his presence. The fleeting glances of his piercing eyes under the rim of his hat. The casual winks he would give you when he was engaged in a conversation with someone else. The way his hand would brush against your soft waist when he wanted your attention. The way he would linger in your personal space. It made your heart stammer inside of your chest just thinking about it.
You took several deep breaths to reign in your rampant thoughts, the tips of your fingers tingling when you pat your hands against your warm cheeks to try and soothe your frazzled nerves.
This bar was popular, especially among the younger generation who had just barely stepped into their adulthood. You spotted a lot of young faces in the crowd as you weaved your way through the sea of people, bumping people with your elbow and getting the same courtesy when you tried to step between a group of people. The music was loud and the people talking were even louder as they had to shriek over the beat that thrummed through your body. You could smell alcohol filling the air along with the faint scent of cigarette smoke and you prayed that none of it soaked into any of your clothes. You disliked the smell of tobacco. It gave you a roaring headache if you were in its presence for too long. You clutched your purse tighter to your waist, mindful that no deft fingers were trying to sneak into it and pinch anything from you.
Just as your eyes were scanning the crowd, you finally caught sight of Ashveil standing over by the bar and nursing a drink in his hand. Your eyes lit up as you raised your hand and animatedly waved at him, hoping to gain his attention as you started to trot over to him. You called his name, your voice being swallowed by the music and the roaring crowd. You called out again, this time louder and with a merry tune to try and raise it over the incessant noise of music blaring from the speakers so hard you swear the walls to this establishment were shaking.
As you drew closer, you suddenly stopped dead in your tracks when you realised that Ashveil was not alone.
It only took a few seconds for the elation you had felt pumping through your veins to turn ice cold. Your heart felt like it had dropped down into your stomach like a heavy ball of lead and your mood plummeted just as quick. You lowered your hand, bringing it closer to your chest as your fingers snagged into the v-line of your dress. You wanted to believe what you were witnessing was some sort of cruel joke or a horrible nightmare. A woman around your age was standing beside Ashveil, too close for your liking and much, so much, prettier than you thought you were. You could hear her high pitched laughter all the way from where you were and it grated against your ears. Her full lips were moving but you couldn’t tell what was being said. A vile, horrible taste tingled in the back of your throat when you swallowed. Your eyes were hurting from the strain and watering at the corners from how hard you had been staring. You’re sure you haven’t blinked yet. You don’t know who this woman is. You’ve never met her before in your life. But the way she stood so close to Ashveil, almost pressing her entire body into his side and practically hanging off his arm stirred something ugly and horrible inside your chest.
You don’t think Ashveil has seen you yet. You opened your mouth to attempt to call out to him once more. All that came out was a dry rasp of air. Your heart felt like it had come back up from the bubbling depths of your stomach and lodged itself in your throat. You think you’re only a few seconds away from spitting it out. Your stomach twisted into an uncomfortable knot and all that confidence you had walked in with fizzled out of you, like air rushing out of a deflating balloon. You’re sure your posture could match one as you sagged and suddenly felt smaller. Your happy thoughts turned sour and they rotted in your skull when you saw this stranger touch Ashveil’s arm in such a familiar gesture that it made you sick.
You shoved the edge of your painted nail between the pinch of your teeth, gnawing until you felt flecks of polish flake off and leave an unpleasant taste in your mouth. Your mind started to race. Of course, how could you compare to that? How could you compare to such a flawless complexion and a tiny waist? How were you supposed to compare to the textbook definition of a pretty girl when you considered yourself to be the complete opposite of that? It was unfair. Horribly unfair. You think you’re about to start spewing black sludge from your soul when you see her lean ever so close to his ear, almost touching when she says something.
Everything was too much.
Your breathing became quicker and you were suddenly hyper aware that there were too many people around you. When someone brushed by you, the hairs on the nape of your neck stood up when their touch ghosted along your arm, the barely there sensation shocking your system like a live wire. It felt too cramped in here, your skin crawling and sweat dotting your brow as the heat surrounding the bar made your head feel dizzy. Your knees felt weak, legs wobbling like the consistency of jelly as you struggled to keep yourself upright. You wanted to move but your feet felt like they were rooted to the spot and you had to watch this horrible scene unfold before your eyes. You wanted to dig your fingers into the sockets and rip them out rather than watch another second of this. Jealousy felt like a horrible creature gnawing at your fractured nerves and threatening to bite into your emotions until you were bled dry. Your bottom lip quivered and you stopped biting at your nails just to shove the plump skin between your teeth to contain the horrible noise that wanted to crawl out of your mouth.
And just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, Ashveil’s eyes lock with yours.
It was only for the briefest of seconds. The moment you registered his stare directed at you, your body was suddenly put into motion. Fear and shame curled in your chest until it started to ache. Without a second thought, you turned and bolted further into the crowd to flee the scene. With your back turned you missed the confused look that crossed Ashveil’s features as he called your name. His voice was drowned out by the music. You didn’t see how he shook the stranger off his arm with a disgruntled look nor couldn’t hear the sound of his shoes hitting the dance floor in a rushed panic as he chased after you.
You ducked and weaved your way through the crowd, not caring who you bumped into as you made a mad dash for the lady’s room. You knew you would be safe in there for a while as you tried to disappear into the crowd, a hand covering your face as tears flowed down the round swell of your cheeks and you choked on an ugly cry of pain.
You were ready for the ground to open up and swallow you whole as you stumbled into the bathroom on shaky legs, making a beeline straight for an empty stall so you cry your heart out over the toilet bowl. At least the music was loud enough to drown out most of your grief.