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The world feels a million miles away. I sit there, clapping along with everyone else in the crowd, back aching from sitting for so long. I can't even bring myself to smile anymore, just staring at the stage with a blank expression. There are families cheering for their children, friends hollering at the top of their lungs to embarrass those on stage that they know. I can't find myself to care. I just wait. The ending speech passes in a blur, the words all sounding like useless garbage to my ears.
Once we're dismissed I find myself frozen in my seat for a second, before slowly standing and steering myself back to the trainer's waiting room. I start gathering my things on the table, shoving myself into the motion as I ignore the growing hole in my chest. I've barely gotten half of my supplies back into my bag when I realize that someone is standing next to me.
I look over to see Red of all people, his medal shining in the harsh lights of the room. I remembered cheering for him when he was given it, watching him walk up to the stage with a huge grin on my face. Now I can't help but feel a small sting when I see it, and I mentally berate myself for the thought. I know he deserves that medal and I'm happy for him. I shouldn't be thinking like that.
Red taps me on the shoulder, snapping me out of the stupor as he holds out a notepad. I look down at it, realizing the scribbly writing on it and reading it.
“It's not fair.”
Oh.
I feel my throat start to clench as I brace myself against the table, looking down as I start to shake. My vision blurs as tears fill my eyes, sniffling slightly before I break and start crying in full. I can't stop myself, my breath catching as I sob. God what would Gramps think…
“I- I was trying to stay composed. Y- you just had to say some- hic- something?”
I look back at Red as he nods, watching me with a blank expression but I can tell that he's sincere. He writes another line on his notepad before turning it back to me.
“I was waiting for them to call your name the whole time.”
I can barely make the words out through my tears, rubbing my eyes in a futile attempt to clear my vision. It doesn't work, of course, another rush of tears coming to pour down my face as I try to regain my breath.
“I just hic I'm tired of not- of not being seen… I mean, you heard them. No one said a single thing about me when the judges were talking to us. No- hic No one even cared!”
Another wave rushes over me as I cough, my throat tightening and constricting as I clamp my eyes shut. As I do, I hear a small metallic thud in front of me, causing me to open my eyes. I look down at the floor to see Red’s medal on the floor. Seeing it there made it seem no more important than the hunk of metal that it was, just a piece of metal tied to a ribbon. I look up at Red and he's glaring down at the medal, as if it had personally wronged him and wasn't a symbol of his great achievement.
“You didn't have to do that for me…”
Red simply just looked up at me and shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets. I feel a surge of emotions as I lunge forward, wrapping my arms around Red and pulling him into a tight hug. I stayed there for a second before realizing that Red would be uncomfortable with so much touch. Worried and a bit embarrassed at my actions, I start to pull away, only for Red to pull me back, squeezing me tightly.
I'm shocked for a second before I relax, resting my head in the crook of his neck as I sniffle, the last of my tears drying up.
“Thank you…”