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learning to look at an empty sky (it might take me a little time)
NYE, 2021, Potter House
Tinsel hung from the ceiling above the Christmas tree in the living room of Godric’s Hollow. Outside, a cold wind howled, but inside, a fire blazed in the hearth, warming cheeks. The house was smaller than Scorpius was used to, and a dozen teenagers overfilled the living room. Through the door, he could see Harry and Ginny hovering in the kitchen, supervising their sixteen-year-old son’s first New Year’s Eve party.
Albus was beaming from ear to ear as James recounted a Quidditch story to Fred and Hugo. Lily hung off his every word like always. Rose and Dominique were sharing an armchair, cups of butterbeer in their hands, their heads bowed together as they giggled.
Scorpius found his feet moving before he’d made any conscious decision to head over. When he realised where he was walking, he stopped and turned, a blush rising up his cheeks.
Idiot.
He walked towards the drinks on the side table as if that had always been his intended destination, even though his cup was still half-full. Popping a peppermint toad in his mouth, Scorpius glanced back at Rose and Dominique. He watched as Rose drained the last of her drink, and a smile tugged at his lips before he turned and poured a fresh glass.
Taking a deep breath, he turned and walked over towards the girls.
Rose turned as he approached, beaming. Scorpius felt butterflies in his stomach at the sight.
“What took you so long?” she teased.
Scorpius raised a single eyebrow. “Patience is a virtue.”
“Is it though?” she asked with a laugh.
“Non,” Dominique replied, straight-faced, and Scorpius heard himself laugh along as Rose took the glass from his hand.
“Thank you, Malfoy,” she said before she took a fresh sip.
Dominique looked up. “And where is mine?”
Scorpius scoffed. “I’m not a servant.”
Rose grinned, but Dominique simply raised a knowing eyebrow and turned away. “Only for Rose.”
Scorpius felt the heat rise in his cheeks and looked away before anyone noticed. “Enjoy your night, girls,” he muttered.
He did his best to avoid Rose for the rest of the evening. Dominique’s comment was bad enough; what if others started teasing him, too? He stuck with Albus, which meant he’d spent a good hour debating the finer points of beetle eyes as a potion ingredient, moving on to discussing unorthodox uses of Gillyweed Potion, before James had called them geeks and demanded a party game.
Harry or Ginny sauntered in occasionally, doing their best to look casual and not at all nervous about their house being taken over by teenagers.
As midnight drew closer, there was an unspoken air of both nervousness and excitement in the room. Scorpius had, of course, considered seeking Rose out at midnight. He’d debated the pros and cons of it in his head countless times over the past few days. He’d decided the largest risk was that he wasn’t certain she’d appreciate it. That wasn’t a risk he’d been able to mitigate, and the repercussions if she didn’t… Yeah, he thought, I’m a coward.
Even so, as he stood beside Albus, waiting for the countdown, his eyes drifted towards where Rose now sat with Lily and Lucy.
“Ten! Nine! Eight!” James shouted as he started the countdown, and everyone quickly joined in. At midnight, a collective cheer rang out, and Scorpius clinked his butterbeer glass with Albus and Hugo. But he could see Rose in the corner of his eye as she laughed and hugged her cousins. He refused to look at her directly—mostly. But the fight to ignore her gravitational pull felt like one he was losing.
NYE, 2022, Potter House
Scorpius stood beside Rose in the kitchen of the house in Godric’s Hollow. Through the door, they watched as Harry and Ginny said goodbye to their three children. The way they were drawing it out made it seem as though they were going for a year, not a night.
“Mum, we’ll be fine. Dad, we know how to contact you if we’re not. Can you go now? Granny Molly will be waiting for you, and everyone else is gonna get here soon,” Albus said with a frustrated sigh that made Ginny laugh.
“Besides, how am I meant to nick your Firewhiskey if you’re still here?” James added with a grin.
Scorpius rolled his eyes with a smile and looked down at Rose as Ginny began to respond.
“Did James just say Firewhiskey…?” she asked him with a wide-eyed nervousness.
Scorpius snorted. “I’m pretty sure your aunt’s monologue right now is her long-winded way of saying ‘no’.”
Rose giggled, leaning her head on Scorpius’s shoulder for a brief moment. Scorpius wondered if the butterflies in his stomach when she did something like that would ever go away.
Not even half an hour later, the house felt like a different house. Music rang out from some Muggle speakers as voices rose louder in competition to be heard. Someone had opened a window to try to counteract the effect of so many people’s body heat.
Scorpius leaned against the wall and watched as Rose made her way across the room to the drinks table and back. He smirked as she stopped to talk to people every few steps—typical Rose.
When she eventually made it back to Scorpius, she held a glass out towards him with a grin on her face. “Did you miss me?” she asked.
Scorpius laughed as he took the drink—he couldn’t help it. “Yes. But I love watching you, too.”
“Watching me?” she asked with a playful raised eyebrow. “Stalker.”
“Ouch. Are you complaining?” he asked.
“No,” she admitted as she leaned into his side.
Scorpius put his arm around her instinctively, and the sensation that ran through his chest wasn’t new: his heart swelling as if he was falling in love with her all over again. As she sighed contentedly, a single thought surfaced in Scorpius’s mind: no matter how long we’re together, she’s mine. It didn’t arrive cleanly. He was thrilled at the thought, of course, but underneath it, a wave of anxiety threatened to crash over him. What if it didn’t last?
“Right,” Rose said, breaking the spell of the moment, “I promised Lucy a game of gobstones. I’d better not disappoint her. I’ll come find you in a bit.”
She squeezed his hand one last time, turning away before Scorpius had a chance to say anything in response.
He held in a sigh as he turned to find Albus. Scorpius spent the next hour sitting on a low couch in the kitchen with his best friend and Fred, half-heartedly trying to invent a new spell. Everything they thought of already existed in one way or another, but it passed the time. Scorpius kept half an eye on his girlfriend, of course, watching as she effortlessly flitted between friends and cousins, always smiling, laughing, moving.
When she eventually made her way back to him, she perched on the arm of the sofa beside him, her knee brushing his chest as she listened politely to the boys. After a few minutes, Scorpius turned to her with an apologetic smile.
“You know, you don’t have to sit here and listen to us debate if a spell specifically for sinus relief when you have a cold would be worthwhile,” he muttered with a smile.
Rose let out a laugh before turning to him, lowering her voice to an intimate register. “I’m exactly right where I want to be.”
Scorpius couldn’t stop the blush that rose up his cheeks at her words.
“Merlin, get a room,” Fred teased with a wide grin.
“If you don’t like it, don’t look,” Rose replied without looking away from Scorpius.
By the time midnight rolled around, Scorpius was in a quiet corner of the room with Rose in his arms. The room was an awkward mix of nervous young couples like them and boisterous friend groups singing and laughing. Everyone joined in the countdown.
Scorpius could smell Rose’s perfume as he leaned in for a kiss, and she reached up to meet him halfway. As their lips met, his body seemed to relax, as if letting go of tension he hadn’t realised he was holding. He sighed as they parted.
“Tell me I’m the only one,” Scorpius whispered.
Rose’s reply was immediate. “You’re the only one.”
Scorpius grinned before kissing her again. “I fall in love with you over and over again.”
“Scorpius,” Rose said with a quiet giggle. “You’re so sweet. It’s a shame midnight’s over.”
“No, it’s not,” he replied. “Midnight never strikes when you’re in love.”
NYE, 2023, Albus’s flat, London
Albus’s new flat was much smaller than the Potter house at Godric’s Hollow, but somehow the same group of people still fit. The party wasn’t contained to a couple of rooms—it had taken over the whole flat. There were two people on the balcony, four in the bedroom, and the living room was standing room only.
Scorpius had a glass of Firewhiskey in his hand as he made his way out onto the balcony where Hugo and Teddy were talking about Quidditch.
“I’d go back inside, mate, after the Magpie’s performance the other day,” Teddy joked as he saw Scorpius.
Scorpius winced. “Wasn’t great, was it?”
“Not great? Did you see the Fairclough goal you conceded?” Hugo joined in.
Scorpius tried to defend his team, but Hugo and Teddy were having none of it. The conversation continued, rehashing recent games. Sipping his drink, laughing, Scorpius pretended he didn’t know or care where Rose was. His peripheral vision still tracked her every movement, and the tightness in his chest didn’t let him forget it.
It was half past ten when she made her way over to him, red-cheeked and glassy-eyed from too much alcohol, grinning as she wrapped her arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Doing okay there?” Scorpius asked gently.
“Yes.” Rose gave an exaggerated nod.
“Right.” He paused. “Do you need a glass of water?”
She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Are you seriously judging me right now?”
“Little bit. Good judging, though.”
Rose gave a little laugh. “I’m enjoying myself. Missed you, though.”
Scorpius smiled as a familiar and unwelcome tightness rushed through his chest. He took a sip of his drink and looked down at her, only this time he really looked: the freckles on her nose, the stray hair tangled in her eyelashes, the slight chap to her lips. Rose.
“What are you doing?” she asked him, self-consciously.
“Falling in love with you. Over and over, apparently.”
Rose shook her head with a breathy laugh.
Scorpius’s next words came out before he’d thought them through. “I wish I knew what you were thinking.”
“Ha! Not much. I need a wee, and I’m peckish. Ooh, and I need to ask Dominique how her date went last week with the Prophet reporter…” she said, trailing off as her eyes scanned the room. She looked back at Scorpius and pushed up onto her toes to give him a peck on the lips. “I’ll be back. Love you.”
Scorpius watched her go, but didn’t wait. Albus was in the kitchen playing catch with James with a wooden spoon. Scorpius sighed before he went to join them.
As midnight rolled around, Scorpius let himself look for her. He expected she’d come find him before the countdown, so his eyes scanned the crowd. He found her in a circle with Lucy, Dominique, Daisy Parkinson and Jessica Abbott. He watched her from across the room, waiting.
James, as ever, started the countdown. When midnight rang out, Rose turned to the girls around her and hugged them all in turn, wishing each of them a Happy New Year.
Scorpius clinked his glass against Albus’s and muttered his own well-wishes, tight-lipped. He watched as Rose cut a path through the crowd towards him a few minutes later, stopping to wish everyone she walked past a ‘Happy New Year’.
When she reached Scorpius, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed into him. “Happy New Year,” she said and leaned in to kiss him.
“Happy New Year,” he whispered against her lips. She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, and Scorpius’s arms instinctively tightened around her. He found himself staring at a fracture in the glass of a painting on the wall.
NYE, 2024, Albus’s Flat
The New Year’s Eve party tradition was getting old already, Scorpius thought as he stepped out onto the balcony for some fresh air. He didn’t want to be here.
Everyone else did, though. There were more people than ever. New partners, friends of friends, cousins of cousins. There was no escaping the bodies.
He didn’t know where his girlfriend was. He’d given up trying to keep track of her an hour ago. He stood and sipped on a pumpkin juice, looking out over the city, as the speakers moved on to the next song. It was a song Scorpius vaguely knew, some musical hit the girls loved. He let it wash over him without paying much attention until a verse stood out like a lightning bolt.
I will fall in love with you over and over again,
I don’t care how, where, or when
No matter how long it’s been, you’re mine
Scorpius felt ice run down his spine. Running his hand through his hair, he sighed and headed back towards the living room to find her.
He didn’t see her at first—she wasn’t with the girls where he expected her to be. His eyes scanned the room until he found her in the corner, leaning against the wall while a man Scorpius didn’t know stood in front of her, leaning in. Scorpius walked closer until their voices drifted over to him.
“You’re really pretty,” the man said, and Scorpius stopped in his tracks.
“Aww, thank you, you’re sweet,” came Rose’s reply. Scorpius even heard her little giggle, and bile rose up into his throat.
“Are you doing anything next Saturday? I know a place I think you’d love.”
“Oh, really? What sort of place is that?”
“That would ruin the surprise. Come on, what do you say?”
Scorpius’s eyes scanned the room briefly. Was anyone else seeing this? He looked down at the ground as his heart raced and his palms grew sweaty.
Rose sighed. Loudly. “Actually… I should tell you I have a boyfriend.”
There was a beat of silence that lasted too long.
“Oh. Oh. I didn’t… Sorry, I didn’t mean… Where is he?”
“Oh, around somewhere, I’m not sure.”
“Wait, he’s here?”
Scorpius had heard enough. He said nothing. He just turned on his heel and walked away. He almost went back to the balcony, but it was too quiet there—too easy for her to follow him. He didn’t want to speak to her right now. Instead, he looked for Albus, settled next to him with a forced smile, and acted like he’d not seen a thing, laughing a little too loudly over the sound of his heart thumping in staccato.
As midnight drew near, Scorpius realised he’d already made his decision. It took more courage than he expected to cross the room. He found Rose with Dominique and gently grabbed her elbow.
“Can I have a word?” he muttered quietly, and watched as her smile dropped.
She followed him out to the balcony without a word, watching as he slid the glass door almost closed behind them. He turned to face her and folded his arms.
“What’s wrong?” Rose asked, frowning.
“Did you miss me?” he asked.
“What!?” Rose laughed nervously. “Of course, I did.”
Scorpius didn’t pause. “Right. Tell me I’m the only one.”
“What kind of ridiculous question is that? Of course you are! You know you are! How long have we been together now?”
Scorpius scoffed. “Are we together? Because I’m pretty sure another man asked you on a date earlier.”
Rose froze, her face dropping in shock. “I told him I had a boyfriend. Are you seriously judging me right now?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I am. Because I heard the conversation, Rose. You weren’t exactly in a rush, were you? Merlin, you’re always like this!”
Rose folded her arms. “Excuse me? Like what? I did nothing wrong.”
Scorpius sighed and dropped his arms as he looked out over the street below. “No. You just… don’t love me the way I love you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Scorpius, what are you even saying right now?”
“I can’t do this. I can’t do… us. And as sick as it sounds, I loved you first. And I still love you. But I feel like a consolation prize or something. It sucks.”
Rose reached out towards him, but Scorpius took a step back. He couldn’t look at her face. Inside, the countdown had begun. Midnight never strikes when you’re in love, he found himself thinking, a whisper of a memory.
“Are you actually breaking up with me right now? Like this?” she whispered, and Scorpius could hear emotion in her voice.
“I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt, Rose. It does. But this thing we’ve got is… broken. You don’t love me the way I need.”
Rose swallowed—Scorpius heard it. “Right. And that’s it? You won’t give me another chance?”
Scorpius said nothing. They stood staring at each other for a long minute before Rose nodded slowly and turned away. Scorpius stayed where he was as she walked away.
He looked inside and saw other couples kissing. The despair came quietly, which surprised him. He'd expected it to be louder. He loved her. Of course, he loved her. But some things were broken beyond fixing, and this was one of them. He just hoped he was strong enough to take the pain of what came next.