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Diluc had been watching the situation develop for the past hour with growing concern.
Kaeya had come in with a group of Knights around nine. Nothing unusual about that. The Cavalry Captain often socialized with his subordinates at Angel's Share. Usually he'd have a few drinks, charm everyone in the room, and leave before he got truly drunk.
Tonight was different.
Kaeya was on his eighth drink. Maybe ninth. Diluc had lost count around the time Kaeya had started slurring his words
And the three Knights he was with- Marcus, Joel, and Finn- were encouraging every single drink.
"Come on, Captain, one more!" Marcus was saying, signaling for another round.
"I really shouldn'- shouldn't," Kaeya mumbled, but he was already reaching for the glass when it arrived.
Diluc noticed Marcus and Joel exchange a look. Both of them had nursed the same drink for the past thirty minutes. They weren't drunk.
Kaeya very clearly was.
"You're so fun when you let loose, Captain," Finn said, sliding closer to Kaeya in the booth. "Not all uptight like usual."
"'M not uptight," Kaeya protested, words running together. "'M very... very relaxed. 'M the most relaxed person in Mondstadt."
"Prove it," Joel said with a grin. "Come sit over here with me instead of squished in that corner."
Kaeya actually giggled. High and uncontrolled in a way Diluc hadn't heard in years, and stumbled out of his seat. He nearly fell, caught himself on the table, then made his way around to where Joel sat, still swaying slightly.
Joel caught his hips and guided Kaeya right down onto his lap.
"There! See? Very relaxed. Not uptight at all." Kaeya leaned back against the Knight, clearly unsteady.
Joel's hands were already on Kaeya's waist. "Very relaxed indeed, Captain."
Diluc's jaw tightened. He moved closer to their table, wiping down a nearby surface to have an excuse to listen.
"You're really pretty, you know that?" Kaeya was saying, reaching up to touch Joel's face with clumsy fingers. "All of you. So pretty. When'd the Knights get so pretty?"
"You're pretty drunk, Captain," Marcus said, but he was smiling. Not concerned. Amused.
"Maybe. Prob'ly. Don' care though." Kaeya shifted in Joel's lap, and the Knight's grip on his waist tightened. "Feels nice. You feel nice. Why don' we do this more often?"
"Because you're usually too proper," Finn said, moving closer. His hand landed on Kaeya's thigh. "Always so professional. So in control."
"Fuck professional," Kaeya said, the curse sounding strange in his slurred speech. "Fuck control. Jus' wanna feel good."
"Oh, we can make you feel good, Captain," Joel said, voice low. His hands were sliding higher on Kaeya's waist.
That was enough.
Diluc set down his cloth and approached the table. "Gentlemen. I think the Captain has had enough for tonight."
"He's fine," Marcus said dismissively, waving a hand at Diluc. "Just having fun."
Diluc's eyes narrowed. "He's had nine drinks in ninety minutes and can barely speak coherently. He's not fine."
"He's a grown man who can make his own decisions," Joel said, though his hands stayed exactly where they were on Kaeya's body.
Kaeya blinked up at Diluc, eyes unfocused. "Diluc! My favorite brother! My only brother! Wait, are you my brother? We haven' decided that yet, have we?"
"Kaeya, come on. Time to go home."
"Don' wanna go home. 'M having fun. See?" He gestured expansively, nearly hitting Finn in the face. The knight caught Kaeya's wrist and pressed it close to his chest, smirking. "Fun!"
"You're drunk. These gentlemen are going to take advantage of you if you stay."
"They're not gentlemen, they're Knights!" Kaeya found this hilarious and started laughing. "Get it? Knights, not gentlemen? 'S different!"
"Captain," Diluc said, more firmly. "You need to go home."
"I think the Captain can decide for himself where he wants to be," Joel said. His hand had moved from Kaeya's waist to his hip, possessive and deliberate. "And right now, he wants to be here. Don't you, Captain?"
"Mm-hmm. Here's good. You're warm. Like a... a warm thing." Kaeya leaned his head back on Joel's shoulder, eyes drooping. "So warm."
Diluc looked at the three Knights with barely concealed anger. "How much have you three had to drink tonight?"
"Two drinks each," Finn said. "Why?"
"Because your Captain has had nine. You're watching him get increasingly intoxicated. You're watching him lose the ability to speak clearly, to make coherent decisions. And you're encouraging it." Diluc's voice was hard. "He's your superior officer. He's drunk enough that he can't stand without stumbling. And you're taking advantage of that."
"We're not taking advantage," Marcus protested. "He's flirting with us. We're just... reciprocating."
"He's too drunk to consent to anything. Including sitting in your laps while you put your hands all over him."
"He could've stopped me!"
"Maybe he could have, but he is visibly too impaired to recognize it was inappropriate." Diluc leaned down, looking each Knight in the eye. "If you don't remove your hands from him right now, I'll have you barred from this establishment. And I'll be having words with Acting Grand Master Jean about Knights taking advantage of their drunk commanding officer."
The threat landed. All three Knights shifted, pulling their hands back.
"We weren't doing anything wrong," Joel muttered, but he was clearly uncomfortable now.
"You were about ten minutes away from doing something very wrong. And you all knew it." Diluc reached for Kaeya. "Come on, Captain. Let's get you home."
"Bu' I don' wanna."
"I know. But you're going anyway."
Kaeya allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, then immediately stumbled. Diluc caught him, steadying him.
"Can' walk straight. Everythin's spinning."
"I noticed. Come on." Diluc got an arm around him, supporting most of his weight.
"You're always so mean," Kaeya whined. "Never let me have any fun. Always so... so serious and broody and," He stopped, looking up at Diluc with an unfocused eye. "When'd you get so tall? Or did I get short? Did I shrink?"
"You're drunk. We're leaving."
"Okay but only 'cause you asked nice. Did you ask nice? I don' remember. I don' remember lottsa things right now. 'S weird."
Diluc guided him toward the door. Behind them, the three Knights were gathering their things, clearly embarrassed
"Wait!" Kaeya tried to turn around, nearly fell. "I gotta say g'bye to my friends. 'S rude."
Diluc pulled him back. "They're not your friends. They're Knights who were planning to take advantage of you in your current state."
"That's mean. They're nice. They said I was pretty. Nobody ever says I'm pretty when 'm sober. Why's that?"
"Because you don't usually get all up on them and sit in their laps when you're sober."
"Maybe I should! Maybe 's a good strategy!" Kaeya was fully leaning on Diluc now, legs barely cooperating. "You should try it. Sit in someone's lap. See what happens."
"I'm not taking advice from someone who can't walk in a straight line."
"I can walk in a straight line! Watch!" Kaeya tried to pull away, immediately started to fall. Diluc caught him. "Okay maybe not a straight line. Curvy line? I can walk in a curvy line!"
"You can't walk in any line. Hold still."
Diluc managed to get him outside. The night air seemed to hit Kaeya hard, and he swayed dangerously.
"Oh no. Oh no, 'm gonna be sick."
"If you vomit on me, I'm leaving you in the gutter."
"You wouldn'. You like me too much. Even though you're mad at me. Even though we're not brothers anymore 'cause I lied. You still like me." Kaeya's voice had turned melancholy. "You still care. Tha's nice. Tha's really nice actually."
Diluc didn't respond, just kept walking, heading toward Kaeya's apartment.
"Where we goin'?"
"Your apartment. You're going to sleep this off."
"Don' wanna sleep alone. Lonely. 'S so lonely."
"Then you should have thought about that before you drank yourself into oblivion while your subordinates planned how they were going to take you home."
"They were gonna take me home?"
"Among other things."
"Oh." Kaeya was quiet for a moment, processing. "Tha's not good, is it? Tha's bad. They're not s'posed to do that."
"No, they're not."
"'M their Captain. They're not s'posed to-" Kaeya stopped walking, looking distressed. "Oh no. Oh no, I messed up. I messed up really bad, didn' I?"
"You're very drunk and you weren't thinking clearly. They took advantage of that."
"But I sat in his lap. I touched his face. I was flirtin'. I started it."
"You're too drunk to consent to anything. They saw that and encouraged it anyway. That's on them, not you."
Kaeya made a small, broken sound. "'M a terrible Captain. I'm a terrible person. I should- I shouldn' be in charge of anyone. Can't even- can't even control myself enough to not..."
Diluc stopped in the middle of the street to adjust his hold on Kaeya, and continued on. "Stop. We're not doing this while you're drunk. You can have your spiral of self-loathing tomorrow when you're sober."
"Promise you won' tell Jean? Please? She'll be so disappointed. She already thinks I drink too much. If she finds out I got drunk and sat in a subordinate's lap," Kaeya's voice was getting higher, more panicked. "Please don' tell her. Please."
"I won't tell her. But those Knights might."
"They won't. They- oh gods, they could ruin me. They could tell everyone I got drunk and threw myself at them. They could say I was inappropriate with subordinates. They could-."
"Kaeya, breathe. You're spiraling."
"I can't breathe. Can't, everything's spinning and I can't."
Diluc stopped walking and turned to face him fully. "Look at me. Focus on me. You're okay. You're safe. Nothing happened."
"But it almost did. If you hadn'- if you hadn' stopped it."
"But I did stop it. And nothing happened. You're safe."
Kaeya was crying now, tears streaming down his face. "Why'd you stop it? You don' even like me anymore. You should've jus' let 'em... let 'em do whatever. Would've served me right. Would've been what I deserved for- for lying to you all those years..."
"Stop." Diluc's voice was firm. He reeled Kaeya in close, letting the captain slump against his chest. "I don't like you much right now, that's true. I'm still angry. Still hurt. But I was never going to let a group of Knights take advantage of you while you were blackout drunk. That's not who I am."
"You're a good person. Better than me. I'm jus'- I'm jus' a liar who drinks too much and makes bad decisions and hurts everyone."
"You're drunk and emotional and we're not having this conversation right now." Diluc pulled back. "Walk. We're almost there."
They made it to Kaeya's apartment building, up the stairs (which took three times longer than it should have because Kaeya kept losing his balance), and to his door.
"Keys," Diluc said.
"Wha' keys?"
"Your apartment keys. To unlock your door."
"Oh. Right. Keys. Where're my keys?" Kaeya patted his pockets ineffectually. "They're gone. Someone stole my keys. I've been robbed."
"They're probably in your jacket pocket."
"I checked my jacket pocket."
"You patted it once. Actually check."
Kaeya dug into his pocket and triumphantly pulled out his keys. "Found 'em! They were in my jacket pocket! You're so smart. How're you so smart?"
"It's a miracle I've survived this long with the patience I've developed."
Getting the door unlocked took another minute because Kaeya couldn't get the key in the lock. Diluc finally took them and did it himself.
Inside, the apartment was a mess. Clothes everywhere. Empty bottles. Papers scattered across every surface.
"You live like this?" Diluc asked.
"Only when I'm sad. Which is mos' of the time lately, so... yeah. I live like this."
Diluc guided him to the bedroom, which was marginally cleaner. He sat Kaeya on the bed and started removing his boots.
"You're takin' my clothes off. 'S this where you seduce me?"
"I'm removing your boots so you don't sleep in them. Stop being weird."
"Can' help it. 'M drunk. Drunk people are weird." Kaeya watched Diluc work. "You're bein' really nice. Even though you hate me."
"I don't hate you."
"You don' like me."
"That's different than hate."
"Is it though?" Kaeya's voice was small. "Feels the same from here."
Diluc got both boots off and stood. "Lie down. On your side, in case you vomit."
"Romantic."
"Practical. Do it."
Kaeya lay down, curling up on his side, and Diluc was struck with how young his brother looked. How vulnerable. Nothing like the confident, flirtatious Cavalry Captain he played at being.
"Diluc?"
"What?"
"Thank you. For stoppin' those Knights. For bringin' me home. For, for still carin' even though you don' wanna."
"Go to sleep, Kaeya."
"'M gonna feel so bad tomorrow, aren' I?"
"Yes. Very bad. Physically and emotionally."
"Great. Can' wait." Kaeya's eyes were closing. "Stay? Jus' till I fall asleep? Don' wanna be alone right now."
Diluc should say no. Should leave. Should maintain the distance they'd been keeping for the past few years.
But Kaeya looked so small in that bed. So lost.
"Fine. But only until you're asleep."
"'Kay. Thank you. You're the best brother even though you're not my brother anymore. 'S confusing."
"Sure Kaeya, now to go sleep."
Within minutes, Kaeya was out, breathing deep and even.
Diluc stayed for another ten minutes, making sure he was truly asleep. Making sure he was on his side. Making sure he was safe.
Then he let himself out, locking the door behind him.
Tomorrow, Kaeya would wake up with the worst hangover of his life and the mortifying memories of the night before. Tomorrow, they'd probably both pretend this never happened.
But tonight, Diluc had made sure his brother was safe. Even if they weren't really brothers anymore.
That had to count for something.
------
Kaeya woke to the worst headache of his life and the horrible realization that he was in his own bed with no memory of how he got there.
He sat up too quickly, immediately regretted it, and grabbed for the bucket that someone had thoughtfully placed beside the bed.
After he finished being sick, he looked around the room. His boots were by the door, neatly placed. There was water and headache medication on the nightstand.
And a note.
He picked it up with shaking hands.
You were too drunk to get yourself home safely. I brought you here. The three Knights you were with have been permanently barred from Angel's Share. Don't drink that much again. - D
Oh, Archons.
The memories started coming back. Sitting in Joel's lap. Touching Marcus' face. Flirting with all of them. Diluc pulling him away.
Diluc seeing all of that.
Kaeya put his head in his hands and wished he could die right there.
His estranged brother- the one he'd betrayed, the one who barely spoke to him anymore, the one who'd made it clear they weren't brothers and might never be again- had seen him drunk and inappropriate with subordinates.
Had seen him at his absolute worst, and rescued him anyway.
Kaeya looked at the note again. The handwriting was sharp, precise. Annoyed.
But Diluc had brought him home. Had made sure he was on his side so he wouldn't choke if he vomited. Had left water and medication.
Had banned the Knights who'd taken advantage of him, protected him. Even when he had every reason not to.
Kaeya's hands were shaking as he reached for the water.
He'd have to face Diluc eventually and acknowledge what happened. He'd have to somehow apologize for making his brother rescue him after three years of careful distance.
But first, he had to survive this hangover and figure out how to face the Knights at work without dying of embarrassment.
And maybe- maybe- find a way to thank Diluc for still giving a damn.
Even though they weren't brothers anymore and Kaeya gave him every reason not to.
The water helped the headache slightly.
This mortification, though, was going to last a very, very long time.