Work Text:
Tori
The ride home in Jade's car was quiet, which was mostly initiated by me. I'm sure she was just aching to kill me for making her do the stupid show thing with Trina. To be fair, she did initiate it. That seemed to be our only way of interacting. Antagonizing each other more and more until the other snapped, usually Jade. Her knuckles were pure white, somehow lighter than her already pale skin, signalling her irritation. I was surprised they let her stay on the set even after she chased that kid with the giant fork.
She finally pulled into my driveway, sitting back against the seat as we idled. I hesitated, but then reached for the door handle, promptly being blocked from leaving as Jade locked the doors from the driver's side. I turned to her, expecting her to be shooting some glare towards me, but she was just staring ahead. It was like she was disconnected from reality with the way her eyes glazed over.
"You're annoying," Jade finally spoke up, her words not holding the same malice as usual. "You annoy me."
"So you've said," I responded, confused about what her point was.
Jade went back to the complete silence, her eyes drifting down to her steering wheel. She seemed to be holding back, which was weird for her. She was never someone who held her tongue. She always made her opinion known, regardless of what other people thought. It was one of the things I admired about her. It's the reason I kept hanging around her, no matter how often she reminded me we'd never be friends.
"I've hated you from the moment you stepped into Sikowitz's classroom," Jade reiterated. "You kissed my boyfriend. He fell for you at some point, even though he was supposed to be with me."
I sighed, knowing she'd eventually berate me for things I'm not proud of. Even after I turned Beck down time after time, even after she admitted she witnessed my rejection herself during the platinum rewards, she hated me for these stupid mistakes. It was never even about Beck. Fuck him. He doesn't deserve her. If I were Jade's girlfriend, I'd never make her feel like she was competing with other girls for me. I'd wash away all her insecurities one kiss at a time. Compliment her every moment I get. Her pretty eyes. Her badass vibe. Her lips... God, I know they're soft...
"I never understood you, though. He was available, and you turned him down," Jade continued. "Why? And don't spout that 'You're my friend' bullshit 'cause I don't buy it. I've never been nice enough to you to ever earn the title of your friend."
I leaned my head back against the headrest, letting out a sigh as I closed my eyes. I needed to keep my thoughts rational. This stupid little crush I had was never going to go anywhere; I knew that simply by the way we interacted.
"Because I know I'd never reach friend status by going after your ex-boyfriend," I explained. "You love him, and I can't argue with that. I did shallow shit when we first met, but I don't think about Beck like that anymore. I haven't for a while."
"I know," Jade muttered. "That's what's irritating."
I raised an eyebrow as I turned to her. She was made because I didn't have a thing for her boyfriend.
"You make no sense," I said. "You're irritated because I don't have a crush on your boyfriend anymore?"
Jade scoffed, agreeing that it sounded ridiculous, but she was too stubborn to admit it.
"Yes. Because our rivalry is aimless now. There's nothing real to it," Jade admitted. "We're just two girls who don't like each other for the sake of not liking each other."
"You just don't like me. I've tried to be your friend, but you just hate me," I retorted.
"I don't hate you," Jade grumbled.
I turned my head back to the front, and the car filled with silence again, the tension thicker than before. I couldn't quite piece out the angst between us, or even if it was angst at all. The heavy feeling in the air was enough to make me fidget in place. I wasn't particularly claustrophobic, but there wasn't enough air in this car anymore.
"Why did you help us get back together?" Jade asked, breaking the silence.
The question caught me off-guard, my head jerking back to face her. She faced forward, but her eyes were glancing at me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"At the Full Moon Jam. Beck was only paying attention because you were talking to him about relationships. He said you were the one who nudged him back to me," Jade explained.
"I thought that's what you wanted. You wrote a song for him and everything," I answered. "I figured it was your intention."
Jade scoffed again, shaking her head before looking out the window. Her hands were still gripping the steering wheel, my comment causing her knuckles to turn white again. My eyebrows furrowed, annoyed that it was so hard to please her. She's mad at me for liking her boyfriend in the past, she's mad at me for not liking him anymore, she's mad I got them back together, and she's mad they broke up in the first place. What will it take for us to just be on common ground for one second?
"It wasn't about him, dumbass," Jade finally muttered out.
I glanced over to her, waiting for her to elaborate. Who else would it have been for? She's never been with anyone besides Beck. She's never wanted to be with anyone besides Beck.
"Then who was it for?" I asked, not seeing how the lyrics of her song could match anyone else. He was the only one who fought back against her.
Jade shook her head, keeping her eyes on the driver's side window. Her hands finally fell from the steering wheel, landing against her thighs. My eyes lingered on her fingers, wondering how they'd feel interlaced with mine. I guess I already knew. We've held hands before. Kind of. But I feel like it'd be different if there wasn't ill intent between us. I wonder how they'd feel tangled in my hair...
"There's only one other person with the balls to stand up to me," Jade said, her voice unusually soft. "Only one person who shoves me back when I push them. One person who bites me when I snap at them. Someone who can get me to do stupid shit without slitting their throat with my freshly sharpened scissors."
Her rambling sounded bitter, like she was longing for something out of her reach. Or maybe it was in her reach, she just didn't want to grab for it. I've seen her vulnerable before. She's come to me crying. She's come to me when she could've gone to literally anyone else. Always an excuse on why, but she still came to me first.
"You," she finally admitted, her voice strained like it was causing her pain to acknowledge her feelings.
My eyes widened a little, not at all expecting her admission. I turned my head to my window, processing what she just said. Wouldn't that imply that she...?
"I've never been good with feelings. I feel them too much and express them too little. I stay with Beck because he's familiar. I'm used to him. Familiar is safe," Jade said, her tone unexpectedly solemn. "He's not great. I know that. I feel like I'm fighting for first place with everyone when I shouldn't be competing at all."
I kept quiet, knowing now wasn't the time to put my two cents in. I could've told her that forever ago, though.
"He's the only person who will deal with me," Jade continued. "That's why I stay with him. He likes control, which he has with me, so he stays."
"You should leave him," I suggested before I could stop the words from coming out. "He doesn't deserve you. I hate the way he treats you."
The car was quiet again. I doubt she would listen to me. She just got him back. I was forever forced to watch from the sidelines, and it's not even worth it 'cause she's unhappy.
"I should," Jade agreed, catching me off guard again. "I think it stopped being about Beck a while ago. The feelings became too real when we did that stupid play together and I just..."
"Pushed me back?" I finished her sentence.
"Yeah. I did," she said.
The silence felt lighter this time, like a weight had been lifted off both of us. Her admission was playing over and over in my head, making me feel stupid for not catching on. Though I clearly wasn't supposed to, and with the way we treated each other, no one would be able to guess it. I finally turned back to face her, using all the courage I could muster up.
"Do you still feel that way? About me?" I asked, feeling like an idiot for asking.
"Would it change anything if I did?" Jade responded as she met my gaze.
I shrugged, leaving that up to her. God, she was perfect. I could stare into her eyes forever and never grow tired of it. The green contrasted so nicely with her skin. She seemed so confident, but her vulnerability didn't surprise me. I wonder if she showed this level of vulnerability with anyone else? The thought of that made me unnecessarily jealous.
I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt a surprisingly warm hand grabbing hold of mine. I looked down as I watched her pale skin mix with my tan, our fingers locking together like they were meant for each other. My heart rate spiked, and I felt like I was doing something I wasn't supposed to. My eyes trailed back up to Jade's, her green eyes intense as they bore into mine. I couldn't read her expression, but I could swear there was a faint pink dusting her cheeks. The car was too dark to properly make it out, but I doubt my eyes were deceiving me.
"Do you feel the same?" she asked.
I hesitated, the emotions feeling raw for once. "Would it change anything if I did?"
Jade didn't answer, but her eyes held the answer we both knew. The tension grew again, but it wasn't the same heaviness that clouded our emotions. It made them feel more real, more intense. Jade scoffed a bit before taking a deep breath, her eyes fluttering shut. She mumbled something I couldn't make out before leaning in. Her other hand came up to cup my cheek, and I closed my eyes with her, leaning into the long-desired kiss. Her lips were as soft as I had daydreamed about, and the contact sent the courses of electricity I had read about in teen magazines and online web articles about dating.
Jade pulled away first, her breath catching a little. I could taste her Chapstick on my lips, and part of me yearned for that taste. She didn't separate completely, her hand still cupping my cheek while the other squeezed around my fingers. Her eyebrows furrowed for a minute before she leaned back in, kissing me with more haste. Her hand released mine, moving to circle around to the back of my neck. Her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer than needed. My own arms came up, my hands fisting the fabric stretched over her arms.
It felt like we were kissing forever, but forever still wasn't long enough. Her lips pulled back, and she pressed her forehead against mine, refusing to create more space than necessary. I never wanted to let her go, worried that if I did, everything would just go back to normal. I didn't want her to go back to Beck. I wanted her here, with me.
"I've wanted to do that for too long," Jade muttered. "I've waited too long."
I nodded against her, trying to burn the feeling of her hands on me into my head.
"I think the reason I was mad about you not being into Beck anymore is that I was worried we'd lose the only thing we'd have in common," Jade said, her voice sincere. "It makes no sense for us to fight over a boy when we could just do this."
"I'll be here when you leave him," I said. "It's you, Jade. It's always been you."
Jade nodded, lingering for a moment longer before reluctantly pulling away. She stared at me for a second before pulling out her phone, typing away at it. After a few moments, she put her phone down, looking back at me.
"I'm sure he has plenty of girls with whom he can rebound," Jade sighed. "His DMs are always full of random girls from our school. If he only wants me because I'm not easy, despite him winning every time, he doesn't really deserve an in-person breakup."
I smiled a little, my hand reaching out to hers again.
"Are you okay?" I asked, knowing just walking away isn't really easy.
Jade nodded. "I will be."
She intertwined our fingers again, and we sat in the now comforting silence. That damned teacher may be insane, but it's because of his efforts that Jade and I were able to do this.
I'd say yes to this a thousand times over.