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Remus had done something to his hair. Sirius was certain of this. That had to be the reason why it now fell gracefully across his forehead and shone reddish-gold in the sun. It looked unfairly good. But when Sirius asked Remus he just looked bemused and shook his head, saying he hadn't. Sirius was puzzled, but he soon put it out of his head, what with the prank on the second years and the ensuing chaos. It was hardly THEIR fault that the other students couldn't handle some little bees, was it?!
However, Sirius was reminded of the whole thing when Remus' arms caught his attention. It was just another evening in the dorms and the four of them were laughing and joking as they got into bed. Sirius happened to glance beside him at Remus, and was suddenly, inexplicably, transfixed. Or as close to transfixed as Sirius Black could get. By Remus' arms, no less. His shirt's sleeves had hiked up to reveal his strong muscular arms. Light brown hairs lined them and Sirius wondered how Remus had suddenly become so muscled. Sure, he was a werewolf, but it still seemed odd on the skinny, fragile-looking boy.
He shook his head to clear it of these thoughts. Thankfully, no one had noticed him staring vacantly into space- though it was hardly unusual for him to do so. He got into bed, dismissing all his previous thoughts and ignoring the little voice at the back of his head, which kept trying to point out the reason he was suddenly so interested in Remus' physical features. Nope. Nothing.
"Moony, Moony, Moony..." Sirius whined petulantly, flopping down onto the couch and all over Remus. Remus sighed resignedly and put down his book. "What now, Sirius?" he asked in that fondly exasperated tone of his. "I'm bored, Moony, entertain me!" said Sirius, pouting like the six-year-old he was, because REALLY. He was bored, though. James was in detention after that whole thing with Snivellus(one of the few times Sirius wasn't involved) and Peter was off on his new favourite pastime- unsuccessfully trying to woo Marlene McKinnon. Sirius had tried to tell him she wasn't worth the effort- not a bad kisser, but not that interesting either- but Peter didn't want to listen. Oh, well.
"Oh, Sirius, what'll we do with you?" But Remus was smiling, and Sirius' traitor heart leapt at that.
Sirius was moping. Had been for the last three days, and his friends hadn't the slightest clue as to why. Sirius himself had no clue.
['Liar, liar' said the voice in his head. 'Liar, liar' said his rapidly beating heart whenever Remus was close.]
"We need to set you up with a good shag," declared James, finally. "It'll be sure to take the edge off this Black mood of yours. Oh, see what I did there?" He chuckled. Remus blushed pink, as he always did(and wasn't that adorable?) when any of them brought up more explicit things. Sirius was scowling, though, because his friends all had the idea that he'd been with girls when in fact he'd never gone beyond kissing and the occasional grope. He'd never disabused them of this notion before, but now...well, he'd start now! Sirius brightened at the thought and James smirked in triumph.
So Sirius was in a good mood for the rest of the day, and if Remus seemed a bit more quiet and downcast than usual, well, Sirius sure as hell wasn't looking, was he?!
['Liar, liar.']
Sirius had been spending more and more time with his new 'girl' and he was anticipating that she'd let him go beyond just kissing soon enough. And with James and Peter egging him on, he could almost ignore how Remus was getting conspicuously peakier and peakier, withdrawing into himself and eating less and less. His already slight frame had become positively stick-like. James and Peter probably blamed it on the approaching Full Moon, and that's what it WAS. Sirius told himself to stop reading into things. He was worried, though, this looked like it was going to be a bad one. Unfortunately they still weren't quite able to transform into full Animagi yet. Sirius had gone as far as the ears and tail, but that was it. He began to feel guiltier. No, Remus didn't know how they were trying to help him but what with Sirius' new girlfriend and everything, he'd been slacking off. Sirius wondered- and a little voice in his head(one that sounded suspiciously like James) spoke out- 'You can worry about that soon enough! For now, just get some and then everyone can be happy.' So Sirius didn't bring it up.
The next day, in the early hours of the morning, James, Sirius and Peter crept out under the Invisibility Cloak to visit Remus in the Hospital Wing. More like 'check up on Remus' than 'visit' since he was usually asleep then, worn out from his strenuous and painful night.
James let out an audible gasp at the sight of Remus. It looked as though the wolf had really torn himself up the night before. Remus looked gray, and had lost a lot of blood. There was a large, deep scratch gouged across his right cheek, and Sirius wondered how Remus would explain that away to other people.
There was a sudden, searing pain inside Sirius and it worsened as he looked upon Remus' ashen face. He wanted to get out of there as soon as he could. His head was splitting and he felt numb.
Today was the day. Sarah had given a coquettish giggle and asked him to meet her in the Room of Requirement at nine o'clock that night.
James, sitting next to him at the Gryffindor table, punched him in the shoulder and crowed with glee. "Yeah, go get it, Sirius!" Peter looked at him enviously and said, "Yeah, you lucky bastard..." Remus didn't say a word, and continued pushing his food around his plate with a fork, and not eating it. Was it just Sirius' imagination or did Remus really become even paler?....Should Sirius say something? It WAS two days after the Full Moon...
He remembered his resolution. Lose his pesky virginity first, then everything would get better. So why did he feel so hollow, so empty?!
James had kindly offered Sirius his Invisibility Cloak to avoid detection, then walked off to try(fail) to seduce Evans. Peter, too, had commenced his seductory* assault on poor Marlene McKinnon. It seemed like Sirius' success had inspired them to new heights.
So they didn't notice Sirius' quiet footsteps as he came back- significantly earlier than he should have. Under the Cloak he managed to get up to the dormitory unquestioned and then he burst into the room, flinging off the Cloak.
Remus was sitting on his bed, reading. He looked up to give Sirius a dead-eyed stare. ""Had fun, then, Sirius?" he asked flatly. Sirius stared back, breathless.
Then he collapsed on the floor and did something he had never done even when his harridan of a mother or tyrant of a father decided to beat his failings out of him- he started to cry. In a flash, Remus was at his side, putting his arms around Sirius and just holding him as he sobbed, the tension slowly dissipating. Sirius began to babble- "Moony, Moony, Remus, Moony, I'm sorry, I couldn't do it, I couldn't, I love you, I'm sorry, Moony, I'm sorry, I love you, I couldn't do it, I'm sorry, Moony..."
When at last he finished blubbering, Remus' arms were still around him. He wiped his tears and looked up at Remus for the first time since coming into the room.
Remus looked...strange. A mixture of disbelief and joy and a little bit of sorrow flickered across his face, and he asked, "Did you- did you just say that you LOVE me?!" Sirius' hands tightened where they were clenched around Remus' wrists. Remus seemed to take that as an answer.
Remus began to smile. "Oh, Sirius, what'll we do with you?"
Sirius kissed the smile off his face.
THE END